We Want The D

Trick or treat, D-Lovers! It's an October Season surprise as for the third time our hosts are watching a movie based on one specific Disney theme park ride - HAUNTED MANSION. And despite the shakey track record of the previous stabs at adapting this attraction into a narrative feature, this one ain't all that bad! Mostly it's got a pretty game cast that collectively does their best to navigate yet another movie this company made that is essentially a meditation on grief; and that goes a long way in counteracting some bad wigs, insane costuming, and a truly staggering amount of product placement. 

Beloved D-Lovers, we are coming BACK with a brand new show on a brand new feed! Announcing A BEAUTIFUL FIND, a movie scavenger hunt podcast about sharing films with your best friends.  Join Vicky, Nolan and Jill each season as they check movies off their scavenger hunt list, with our trademark laughter, crying and a little bit of good-natured arguing.  Look for A Beautiful Find wherever you listen to your podcasts. Our first episode is coming soon, so subscribe now so you don't miss it.  Follow us on Instagram @abeautifulfindpod for more announcements.    Trailer music "Quelle Surprise" by Jonny Boyle courtesy of #Uppbeat.  

Just when our hosts thought they were out, they get pulled back in. And by another live action remake of a Disney animated classic, of all things. This time, it's THE LITTLE MERMAID's turn to be made less visually interesting, more poorly thought through, and inexplicably longer. But much like the article of clothing they use to cover Ursula's arms in this movie, the most Vicky, Nolan and Jill can offer up is a shrug.

In an act of pure self-indulgence, Vicky, Nolan and Jill look back at their podcast journey, reminicise about movies and episodes past, do one last ranking, talk about future, and most importantly do their best to express their appreciation to you, D-Lovers. 

In February 2015, Vicky, Nolan and Jill kicked off their podcast odyssey by talking about Disney's very first feature-length animated movie. So it's fitting that, almost eight years later, we end our regularly scheduled programming by talking about the most recent Disney feature-length animated movie, STRANGE WORLD. And hopefully it won't be their last, even though it absolutely tanked at the box office. 

At long last, our hosts have made it to the Disney movie that needs no introduction - THE LION KING. Despite being staffed by a so-called "B-team" of animators and other other creatives, an argument can be made for this movie being the crown jewel in the renaissance crown, or at the very least having the largest cultural footprint. It unsurprisingly made a huge impact on our hosts, and they couldn't be more eager to share their excitement with you, beloved listeners. 

Having already watched the disappointing live-action remake, it's time to return to Disney's OG version of MULAN, and ask the important questions all you D-Lovers have come to reliably expect. Does this movie stand proud amongst the best of the 90s Renaissance, or does it leave something to be desired? Is "I'll Make a Man Out of You" an S-tier song, or merely an A++? And, of course, this being We Want The D, our hosts have to ask where Li Shang sits in the "hottest cartoon man" category.

It's curious that FROZEN II, the sequel to a cultural juggernaut of a Disney movie, doesn't seem to have had the same resonance or impact. Could it be that, in contrast with the first film's simple-yet-largely-effective story, this one is convoluted at worst and overly ambitious at best? Could it be the global pandemic that struck mere months after this movie's release? Impossible to say, really, but our hosts sure do have a lot to say about this movie.

Our hosts have watched more than a few stories that featured characters who had been or are orphaned in the course of the movie. BIG HERO 6 is a unique movie in that it dares to ask - what if Disney did a double orphan? Incredibly sad and surprising, yes, but also not a bad film. Because unlike so many other orphan movies where these characters are not allowed to grieve properly, this family animated movie is all about grief. And while that may sound like a bummer, it's pulled off in large part thanks to the loveable and huggable Baymax.

"Have no fear, UNDERDOG is here!" is a common refrain heard throughout this week's Disney movie. But trust us, D-Lovers, fear is about the last emotion one could feel when watching this film. Apathy, probably. Boredom, almost certainly. But fear? Or really, any strong emotion? Not likely. For that, someone would have had to have cared enough to put more than the bare minimum amount of effort in any aspect of this movie's creation. It's a good thing that, with so few movies left for our hosts to watch on this journey, it can pretty much only go up from here.

This week on We Want The D, it's an unprescedented, three-for-one, cinematic Poohniverse spectacular! That's right, purely because we wanted to do something special and certainly not because our hosts couldn't bear the thought of doing three separate episodes on movies primarily made for toddlers. And as it turns out it was definitely the right call for at least two out of the three of these Disney releases - PIGLET'S BIG MOVIE, POOH'S HEFFALUMP MOVIE and the eponymous WINNIE THE POOH. 

We wrap up this little run of Disney documentaries with what may be the best one our hosts have seen - WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY. An insiders look at the rise of the renaissance through the release of The Lion King, this doc features some names and faces that will be very familiar to any longtime listeners and especially fans of some of our history-focused Minnie Mouse-isodes. And while you may have heard our takes on this era of Disney, this film gives the perspective of the animators and other creatives active at the studio at the time - the little guys whose lives were at the mercy of the whims of a couple of Hollywood executives named Mikey and Jeffy, who came bursting in the door with big personalities and even bigger egos.

It's always a delight when our hosts discover something wholly unexpected in the Disney catalog. And none of them could have predicted they'd watch anything quite like ENDURANCE on this podcast journey. Part documentary, part dramatic reenactments performed by the actual subject(s) of the true story being performed, it's not quite like anything any of them had seen before and after what feels like hundreds of animal movies that all felt more or less the same...you can imagine the relief. 

It's been awhile since we last took a peek behind the curtain at some of the men (funny how it's always men) behind the scenes that helped shape the Disney brand. This week, our hosts celebrate the seemingly simple lives of two of the nine old men, FRANK AND OLLIE, who had a documentary made on them (by Frank's son and the company they worked for since the 1930s) in the mid-90s. And while not without its charms, it ends up being a pretty soft documentary about two very soft boys.

Nearly twenty years after the first movie and seven years after our episode on it, our hosts are returning to Salem with HOCUS POCUS 2! The Sanderson Sisters are back! Billy is back! That's all who is a back! But the good news is the newcomers to the sequal are welcome additions to the lore. And despite the "straight-to-Disney Plus" level budget, this long awaited sequel manages to capture a lot of the essence of the original while still being it's own thing. All-in-all, not a bad October Season surprise. Or maybe our hosts' minds have just been poisoned after years of replacing the Sanderson Sisters with the Halloweentown Cromwell family. 

Another October Season is upon us, and any long-time listener will know that this time of year has become synonymous with certain DCOM franchises. So our hosts are returning to the strangely segregated town of Seabrook one last time with Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 3. What sprasely costumed monsters will upset the status quo this time? What craft supplies will they have glued to their clothes? And how quickly will Addison decide to ditch her supportive circle of loved ones in favour of a group of people she just met but somehow feels she "belongs" with?

It's with great delight that our hosts return to the world of Planes (or is it still called The World of Cars?). Not only because it allows them to dig deep into the how the mechanics of this mechanical world work, but because against all odds, PLANES: FIRE & RESCUE is one of those sequels that manages to surpass the original. And by a lot in this case. We're talking laughs, we're talking thrills, we're talking what may be Dane Cook's finest performance, period. Put it this way: it feels like awhile since one of our hosts ended up in tears within the first 20 minutes of an episode, who would have thought it would be the sequel to a Cars spin-off that prompted it?

At long last, our collective nightmare is over. With NIKKI, WILD DOG OF THE NORTH, not only do our hosts finish off every Disney movie theatrically released in the 1960s, but seemingly finally finish watching all these pseudo-documentary animal movies. And while much of this one is familiar territory (IE it's mostly animals fighting), there were some unexpected surprises. Like a martial arts form that may be entirely unique to this movie. Still, any shortcomings of its genre aren't enough to put a damper on our hosts' reflections of this decade of Disney, which isn't bad, all things considered. 

Since our hosts have seen three Disney movies called "The Jungle Book" let's start by clarifying that yes, this is a theatrically released sequel to the 1967 animated classic, made thirty-six years after the original. And much like the other animated sequels of this era, it's basically the same movie all over again in reverse. Quite literally, this is the story of Mowgli returning to the jungle and singing The Bare Necessities ad nauseum before a confrontation with the blood-thirsty Shere Khan. It's a bold-faced cash grab more than it is a movie, but at least it provokes some interesting discussion from our hosts as to how far (or not far) the company has come.

Now wait just a second, D-Lovers. Before you give this episode a pass because it's clear pretty much from the title that it's gonna be another one of those fake-documentary animal movies, let us try and convince you to give it a listen. First...er, well this one is about a wolf, that's pretty different! And uh, there's some pretty unexpected animal fights - not that the fight themselves were unexpected obviously, but the kinds of animals involved in the fights are pretty exotic. Oh, and Jill tells a pretty great story about the history of the guy who wrote the book this movie is based on. So yeah, just because we've watched what feels like dozens of these over the past few months doesn't mean these episodes aren't worth listening to, we promise. 

What's a major film studio largely known for its cutting-edge and industry-defining animation to do when they are no longer top dog? Take a deep look inwards and rebuild from the ground up? Poach the hottest talent through attractive offers or corporate buy-outs? Well, if you're Disney in the 2000s, you just boldly rip-off another successful animated film by making THE WILD, a movie that two out of our three hosts can confirm is just a worse version of the Dreamworks movie Madagascar from a few years earlier. A much, much worse version. 

Ah, the internet. Without it, our hosts wouldn't even be here talking to all you D-Lovers out there. A hub of easily accessible knowledge, the history of humanity writ across pages and recorded in vdieo for anyone to learn from. Well, that's the idealized version, anyway. The reality, and the one spotlighted in RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET, is that the internet is mostly used to harvest your data and sell you shit megacorporations (like, say, Disney) make you think you need. A place where mass approval can be converted into currency. And where your self worth becomes intrinsically tied to to the way people see you. It's an...interesting choice as a setting for a family film.

If you had told our hosts at the beginning of this podcasting journey they'd be watching this many movies that feature cougars, it's hard to imagine they'd believe you. Yet here we are, watching CHARLIE, THE LONESOME COUGAR - another entry in the "animal does stuff while a folksy voice narrates" Disney subgenre. At least this time there's a dog named Chainsaw, milk shenanigans, and a climax where it looked like we might actually see a person get mauled by a big cat. 

Our hosts' journey through Disney's 1970s theatrical releases ends not with a bang, but with A TALE OF TWO CRITTERS. A sub-one hour movie about a bear cub and baby raccoon that were forced to fight not just each other, but a whole host of other animals from wolverines to geese. But don't worry, there is of course of a folksy voiceover assuring us they were the best of friends and roommates, at least for a time. And since that can only generate so much conversation, there's also a recap of the best and worst of this decade of Disney. 

It seems like, at this stage in our little podcasts life, the animal movies are just unavoidable, with no repreive to be found even in animated films. Because HOME ON THE RANGE is, of course, about cows. And cattle resutling. And yodeling. And...hypnosis? It's a little strange, for a number of reasons, but mostly it's just very very average, which is what you would expect from a movie that almost killed 2D animation at Disney for good.

Over the course of this podcast, our hosts have watched package films, real documentaries, fake documentaries and all manner of unexpected plotlines. So it's nice that this many episodes in there's still a few oddball surprises in the Disney theatraical catalog. Like THE YOUNG BLACK STALLION, an IMAX movie that doesn't even break an hour runtime. Which doesn't leave our hosts with a whole lot to talk about, so we decided to honor the occassion of us watching our last Disney horse movie by reflecting on all the previous ones.

Disney's BIG RED may be a somewhat typical "boy and his dog" story - something our hosts are all too familiar with at this point. But this is, in some ways, a very atypical episode of We Want The D. Because in this episode, it's Nolan who is full of praise for the Irish Setter at the centre of this film, while it's Vicky who is more preoccupied with potential discrepencies in plot and character. And Jill is left to try to navigate this strange new reality. Let it never be said that after 363 episodes, surpises can't happen. 

Here's a sentence you probably were never expecting to read: this week, our hosts are talking about a Disney film directed by David Lynch. That's right, the master of the surreal and macabre directed a film for the House of Mouse, and unsurprisingly it is neither of those things. BUT it's still extremely David Lynch, which could have had mixed results; but for our hosts was a welcome reprieve from movies about animals. 

Not long ago, our hosts watched a Disney film that was mostly documentary-esque footage of a bear with some narration over the top to create some semblance of narrative. Well, RUN, COUGAR, RUN is a bit different. For one, and most notably: this time it's a cougar story we're following. But! Actor Alfonso Arau is also here, and his presence (and million-watt smile) alone more or less bump this movie up a whole letter grade. That, or our hosts are just desperate to find anything to latch onto when it comes to this type of picture.  

It's very apt that our 360th episode is for a Disney sequel that is basically a full-circle repeat of the original film. Because SON OF FLUBBER is essentially a beat-for-beat recreation of the original Absent-Minded Professor, with some cosmetic changes (eg, football instead of basketball). So forgive our hosts if they wind up talking about anything else, including fond farewells to four big names from Disney's history - Tommy Kirk, Fred MacMurray, Keenan Wynn and director Robert Stevenson.

Things sure have come a long way in the Disney "animals trying to get home" subgenre of films. From silent animals being narrated over, to standard voice-over work, to BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA where CGI has advanced enough to make their mouths move. But through all the technilogical advancements, the song remains the same - beloved pet needs to get home, embarks on an incredible journey, and maybe learns something along the way. It's a tried-and-true formula, and this version is no different - the dogs are just smaller and the voice acting more impressive.

Don't get confused by the title of this week's film, D-Lovers, we aren't watching the Elton John biopic from a few years ago. And if you look at a plot synopsis, don't get turned around and think we're watching a movie inspired by a certain billionaire who's a bit fixated on traveling to Mars. No, Disney's ROCKETMAN is...let's say a lot more lowbrow than that.  

This week's film follows a grizzly bear who starts out small and gets progressively bigger, while pushing down trees and terrorizing a cattle ranch. Does that sound like enough to earn this animal the title of KING OF THE GRIZZLIES? Not according to the bracket our hosts do at the end of this episode to determine the best Disney bear. 

The word 'odd' is doing a lot of heavy lifting in the title of Disney's THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN. Because while the title character may have some odd quirks about him, he exists within one of the most bizarre movies our hosts have seen so far. Or maybe it's that there's probably no three people less qualified to watch a film that is largely about a couple's desperate desire to have a child....Actually no, it's definitely the movie that is strange beyond belief. 

Not gonna lie, D-Lovers. After the last couple years, the idea of hitting an emergency eject button on your life, winding up on a deserted tropical paradise, and finding a chimp friend to hang out with doesn't sound all that bad. Then again, if a young woman with a heck of a spear-throwing arm and some serious daddy issues were to show up, it might put a damper on things - so maybe not the best idea. Not unlike Disney's LT. ROBIN CRUSOE, U.S.N., even if the idea came from Daddy Walt himself.

We've seen animals get put through all kinds of distressing scenarios in the name of Disney entertainment over the years, but forcing a tiger to run through a field of explosives to simulate mortar fire wasn't what any of our hosts ever expected to see. Still, A TIGER WALKS is an intriguing viewing experience, given it plays very much like a horror movie and/or Jaws for about half its runtime, before the children start singing at least.

In 1913, twenty year-old amateur golfer Francis Ouimet upset all expectations by defeating a number of professional players and champions at the U.S. Open. Was it, as Disney claims in this film, THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED? Or is this the most blatant case of false advertising since The Neverending Story? It may depend on which of our hosts you ask as some have respect and admiration for the game of golf and others....not so much.

Here we are again, D-Lovers. For the third time we're going to the jungle to enjoy the adventures of young Mowgli and his furry friends. Only this time, the animals are real, Mowgli is nigh-on 30 years old, and basically Disney's 1994 version of THE JUNGLE BOOK has nothing to do with the Jungle Book. That said, as a Tarzan story, or just some other generic "man raised in the wild tries to re-enter society" story - not too shabby! Just, maybe don't let your younger kids watch it without you, unless they're already the types to watch Jaws or whatever on their own.

Put on your detective hats and  your Sunday finest/funeral attire to wear to court, because we have a mystery to solve and justice to render. Disney's RIDE A WILD PONY begs the question - is it possible that a pony could have been in the possession of two different children at two different times? And, more importantly, should the pony go to the poor child with behavioural issues who can't get to school without it, or the willful but wheelchair-bound rich girl whose family already owns a lot of other ponies? It's a complex question (no, really) but luckily our hosts are here to crack it.  And, as always for Disney movies set there, our apologies to the people of Australia for what we do to your accent. 

It's our 350th episode! So of course our hosts had to do something special for you, and nothing marks a milestone like talking about the Disney movie with the worst parents ever. Yes, we're finally talking about THE PARENT TRAP FROZEN! Arguably Disney's biggest animated hit of the last twenty years that continues to resonate with children/torture parents to this day, listen to find out how well it lands for three childless millenials.  

Every so often our hosts get a harsh reminder that the film studio that brought us movies like Beauty and the Beast and Remember the Titans also made movies like Song of the South and One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing. Disney's SMITH! is one such reminder. An egregiously racist film to its very core on almost every conceivable level, this one left our hosts reeling if not at a total loss for words. So much so that eventually all pretense is abandoned as we resort to talking about twenty-five year old episodes of Law & Order.

What defines greatness? Is it about helping others be their best? Is it about the ability to outrun a cheetah? How about a gift for physical comedy? If none of those seem quite right, then we've got bad news for you about THE WORLD'S GREATEST ATHLETE, because that would imply there's nothing particularly great about it. And if that's the case, why would Disney make such a fil- wait, hold on, says here it came out in 1973, now it all makes sense.

So you're having a bad day. You're taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. But we all know that never works, so might we suggest watching ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY instead? Because, honestly, it's a pretty sweet little Disney film with more than one or two solid laughs that also imparts a lesson on how to deal with those days that just plain suck. Plus, some great cameos AND two great comedic performances from Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner. It's no surprise our hosts were charmed by this movie and think you will be too. 

If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times: if someone invites you onto a boat, unless you are prepared for the possibility of ending up on the water far away from land, do not get on that boat! It's a lesson young James MacArthur would have been better off remembering in the Disney movie KIDNAPPED. Maybe then the movie would have stayed being about a nephew and his batty uncle trying to kill each other over a decrepit caste instead of being a sort of lesser, more Scottish version of Treasure Island with highlanders instead of pirates. 

Usually it's not too difficult to get onside with a Disney sports movie. They are almost always a plucky underdog story with manipulative scores, and really what's not to like about that? And GLORY ROAD even bears some resemblance to one of our favourite Disney football movies you may remember, a real titan of a movie. But the reality is, those movies shouldn't even be uttered in the same setence if we're comparing their relative quality. Cause this movie tries, but unlike the NCAA basketball team it depicts, fails where so many others have succeeded.

This week, with great reluctance, our hosts invite you to MEET THE DEEDLES. What's a Deedle, you ask? Good question. It's a behind-the-times archetypical character of a dumb/slacker comedy. It's a lame, over-the-top, annoying, adult truant. It's, sadly, one of Paul Walker's first film roles, before he became fast and/or furious. Our hosts had the meet the Deedles and now you do too - but we bet you'll wish you deedlen't.

It is with misty eyes and heavy hearts that we bid a fond farewell to one of Disney's biggest leading men. That's right, with THE HORSE IN THE GRAY FLANNEL SUIT our hosts have completed the gauntlet of Dean Jones movies, and what a wild ride it has been. Though surprisingly there's not really a wild ride in this movie - more like silently intense and practiced horse jumping.

Everyone knows that Disney's "Dark Age" was from around 1970-1988, but if we may be so bold we'd like to posit that a second, shorter, animation-specific Dark Age took place roughly around the first decade of the 2000s. Because woof, the movies we've been seeing from that decade are decidedly not great, and BOLT is no exception. While not without its charms (mostly fat hamster related), a movie with lifeless lead character going on a low-stakes journey is hard to get behind - despite our hosts' best efforts. 

Fun fact about this week's movie: THE LITTLEST HORSE THIEVES was it's title in North America, drawing on the fun caper of three little ragamuffin children liberating some cute ponies in hopes of taking them to some sort of pony paradise. Meanwhile, in the UK where the film is also set, Disney released it as ESCAPE FROM THE DARK, drawing on the harrowing climax of the film where a group of coal miners are trapped underground and surrounded by poisonous gases. Two titles, but the same movie. How do they fit together, you may ask? Good thing you found this podcast!

As you may know, dear listener, we don't do Pixar movies on the podcast. But we do talk about Disney-released spinoffs from Pixar movies. Which of course means it was only a matter of time before we got to PLANES, the Cars-adjacent franchise that mostly exists to sell toys. But you may also know that a film set in a world populated entirely by living vehicles is going to capture our hosts' imaginations in a very specific way. So strap in, D-Lovers, this one is a wild ride. 

It's the last of the Disney TV shows that got their own theatrically released movies, and we saved the most grostesque for last. TEACHER'S PET features big Nathan Lane energy as a dog who desperately wants to be a boy, an insanely stacked voice cast, and just about the ugliest animation our hosts have ever seen.