Who Would Win in a Fight

It's a Christmas miracle! I spent hundreds of dollars on data recovery software! A fitting holiday episode from 2014, I think? You can play a fun drinking game with this one: start on a bottle of Old Crow and finish it by the time the episode is over, just like Adam and John did while recording this.

Ladies and gentlemen, WWWIAF is proud to present to you what has become one of our finest achievements, completely remastered and restored to match what we believe was the presentation intended by the artists. Thanks to their recent discovery in the archive of a museum in Argentina, this cut contains previously missing scenes, lost for 80 years. We are truly humbled by and grateful for the hours of hard labor by skilled technicians and historians who've allowed the world to once again hear—with unprecedented 8K resolution—John make fun of a teenager for getting murdered by John Wayne Gacy.

For this episode of WWWIAF, John and Adam travelled deep into the jungle primeval, guiding their humble canoe along serpentine rivers, through treacherous shadows, determined to retrieve the Lost Episodes of their podcast. Some called them mad; others, handsome. But on one thing everyone agreed: they both wore pith helmets. It was, in fact, 17 years ago to the day that they bid farewell, catching the first river out of town. After, the townsfolk stayed, savoring the dusk, to watch the brave men disappear into the distance. Even hours later, one could still catch the lilt of their voices; yodeling, as they were known to do, the words to Rock You Like a Hurricane. And that was the last anyone had heard from them... Until now.

And God help you if you are a phoenix, and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while you are just flying past.-Ani DiFrancoTo whom it may concern:Adam and John would like to offer their sincere condolences after the devastating loss of our back catalogue. These episodes will live on on our hearts as they now join the ranks of those taken too soon: James Dean, Alexander the Great, Walter Matthau, and many other people who are still alive but will be dying soon with so much left undone. We know that gifts mean nothing in this moment but we managed to pull up this old recording from the archives in which Adam and John talk about a fight between two fictional characters. They were happier times. God, he sounds so alive. It was truly a pleasure working with your father for 17 years. He will be deeply missed.With deepest sympathies, Tim Cook

The saxophone (referred to colloquially as the sax) is musical instrument usually made of brass and played with a single-reed mouthpiece similar to that of the clarinet. Although most saxophones are made from brass, they are categorized as woodwind instruments, because sound is produced by an oscillating reed, traditionally made out of woody cane, rather than lips vibrating in a mouthpiece cup as with the brass instrument family.

In this very SpOoOoKy episode we have just the thing to get you into the Halloween spirit: poor audio quality! That aside, this episode will start your October off right with all the thrills, chills and other thrills you could ask for!... That is, I mean, if it wasn't for the fact this episode sounds like it was recorded on a Casio. Everywhere I checked online people were saying "Zencastr is your go-to for remote interview recording," but then it sounds like this. Can't go back and re-record either. Whatever. Anyway, there's also a fight; don't remember what it was because I was so upset about the bad audio. I remember thinking the matchup was pretty good despite the... well you know already; the audio thing. Sorry to keep bringing it up

Why are you even bothering to read the descriptions? We never put anything here but dumb jokes.

Welcome to a very special MEMORIAL DAY episode of WWWIAF!!!! We'd like to take this opportunity to thank the men and women who have, truly, made our country what it is today. And while this episode makes no actual mention of our troops, the military, or our heroes who sacrificed their lives in battle, we were definitely thinking about them when recording this all the way back in September.

A tough Arizona cop is teamed with a lesbian cop to catch a serial killer who is murdering police officers. A few miles away, Adam and John discuss two 1980s icons and which would win, were they to fight.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

We're back! This week's episode was recorded in December of 2017, so get ready for a bunch of dated references. Boy, we sure sound like a couple of knuckleheads talking about The Last Jedi. But that's what we get for trying to get good SEO! Fun fact, this is episode 16 of WWWIAF, which is what you get when you add up our two competitors. We didn't plan it, just happened that way. Like some kinda crazy coincidence. The world's full of those little quirks, you know? Seems like it's all just a roll of the dice. Some times you're lucky, sometimes your luck runs out. People are always saying "everything happens for a reason," but I don't believe it. I say shit just happens. No point in looking for a meaning either. One minute you're assistant manager at The Gap, the next minute you're in prison for driving your Kia Sorento into a church picnic, killing the pastor and a mother of three. Dunno what it's all about. Life's just funny that way. Anyway, just try to keep a positive outlook, you'll get through this mess. Divorce rates have skyrocketed since the 1950's; you're not the only one. Sorry, this probably isn't helping. I'll stop.

This is a very good episode.

In this episode of WWWIAF, John wiped a booger on Adam's microphone when he wasn't looking. Will Adam notice? Find out!

Recorded in the summer of 2016, this episode features John reading aloud the Wikipedia page of the Planeteers for—no shit—15 minutes straight.

In this episode of WWWIAF, John and Adam are finally forced to face the consequences of a life of crime after a boy recognizes the brand on their stolen mules and alerts the local police, leading to a gunfight. They take cover in a building but are both seriously wounded. As dozens of Bolivian soldiers surround the area, Butch suggests the duo's next destination should be Australia. The film ends with a freeze frame shot on the pair charging out of the building, guns blazing, before the Bolivian forces riddle them with bullets.

❤️ On this very special Valentines Day edition of Who Would Win In A Fight, Adam and John slow it down a bit... for the ladies. Then, they have a conversation about who would win in a fight between two fictional characters.❤️

In this episode of WWWIAF, Adam and John list as many Police Academy characters as they can. It's a pretty boring episode, honestly. EDITORS NOTE: Bobcat Goldthwait's character in Police Academy 2-4 is Zed, not Zeke, making this whole endeavor even more pointless.

In the season finale, Adam and John duke it out in the battle of the century! Who will win?!?!

You'll never guess who our competitors are this week!

In this week's episode, our two hosts take a break from business as usual to instead have a very thorough discussion about which of two fictional competitors would win in a fight.

Our plucky protagonists propose a plethora of pugnacious poltergeists and presume to posit for every pair: who would win in a fight?

Eh, same, more of the same.

In this week's episode, John and Adam begin the show as normal but quickly come to a disagreement and spend the rest of the episode trying to resolve it.

In this week's episode, John and Adam have a thought experiment in which they pit two fictional characters against each other. Also, Adam tells us about a dream he had. Later our two hosts ask the question: what the fuck is going on inside Inspector Gadget's head? Is it a tube or something?

In this episode Adam and John tolerate a mysterious third person in the room as they discuss the fetishization of the breast, a neat trick to give yourself better dreams, and Adam works in the word "quadlings." Also, does Darth Vader have a penis? Think about it.

In our debut episode, Adam tells us about a weird dream he had. Later, he and John have a conversation touching on everything from the nature of evil to the nature of baloney, John momentarily becomes exasperated with Adam, and Adam manages to get some Minecrafting in.