You Don’t Want a Hug, Right? The Hilarity and the Hard of Raising Humans with Neurodiversity

We didn't mean to disappear for seven months… okay, maybe we did. But we're back! Turns out, living through existential dread and trying to raise neurodivergent kids is a full-time gig (with no PTO). But we've surfaced—with stories, updates, and an entire dragon-themed Zoom backdrop Gwen can't figure out how to remove.In this catch-up episode, Gwen and Kristen are dishing out all the highs, lows, awkward award nights, top hat choices, and job transitions their neurodivergent kids have been navigating. From AmeriCorps fallout and grocery store burnout to college acceptances and Target cashier wins—we're celebrating the inchstones (and laughing so we don't cry).In this episode, you'll learn…[00:01:00] The fire-breathing Zoom background Gwen can't figure out[00:04:00] Why we really took a break (hint: life was A LOT)[00:05:00] Kristen's son Hayden goes from wildland fires to CSU[00:09:00] Jamison gets straight A's—and learns asking for help is strength[00:11:00] Autism Elevated, Target jobs, and inchstones with Graham[00:15:00] Gwen's daughter is officially becoming a Vogelzang![00:18:00] Why guests are banned from Gwen's house (for now)[00:19:00] Graduation night disasters, missed awards, and screaming moms[00:23:00] The next chapter: Beacon College + working at a lettuce farmGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-29If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Helping your child transition to adulthood isn't for the faint of heart for any parent… but when you're helping a neurodivergent child navigate the process, it's even harder.Sure, there's help– if you know where to ask for it. And your locality probably has a system or service that can offer support– but it has a different title in every state. And don't forget that the type of diploma or certificate your child receives from high school can affect the type of support they can qualify for. Feeling overwhelmed yet? Well, before you start hyperventilating, in today's episode, we're sharing all the things we've discovered while launching our neurodivergent kids, so you'll have an idea about what support to look for when it comes to your own kids. We're covering Medicaid, job programs, when the school transition starts, where to look for support, and even the personality changes our kids undergo through this process.If you have an older neurodivergent child and you're feeling overwhelmed about the future, you need this episode. Let's dive in!In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[02:18] Why we're talking about what the transition to adulthood looks like with kids on the spectrum[04:39] A Rylanism and Grahamism to lighten the mood[09:41] Where to start when it comes to helping your neurodivergent child transition from school to adulthood[15:09] Gwen's experience of struggling to find information on the services available for the transition process[22:55] The difference between guardianship and power of attorney for our kids {25:05] What Medicaid qualification looks like for some of our kids and who can help you navigate the process[29:00] Some educational considerations and decisions to keep in mind during the transition process[33:23] How the transition to adulthood changes our kids into radically different humans[41:34] The Last Word with Rylan and GrahamGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-28If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

We're back! As you may have noticed, we took the summer off of podcasting as our families navigated some big changes and milestones this summer. We didn't mean to disappear, but we *may* have forgotten to tell you that we were taking a break. Sorry about that.So today, we're catching you up on all the changes in our lives during the last few months. Gwen is giving updates on all three of her kids –yes, you read that right: three. She's covering Rylan's employment adventures, Reagan adjusting to a new sibling, and of course, introducing their new family addition! Meanwhile, Kristen shares how Graham is continuing to gain confidence, Jameson is loving school, and how Hayden has finally found a place in the world that feels well-matched to both his strengths and interests.If your family has also been in a state of change this year, this episode will feel very relatable. Let's dive in!In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[01:03] Kristen and Gwen acknowledge their unexpected absence (sorry, friends!)[03:15] Gwen describes the way her family has expanded[10:09] Kristen explains the big changes that her family experienced this year[16:21] Gwen and Kristen discuss the sticky topic of neurodivergent kids transitioning into adulthood[22:57] Gwen and Kristen each share hopeful stories of their children finding success navigating the adult (and soon-to-be adult) world[29:05] The lesson Gwen and Kristen keep learning over and over again[37:33] The Last Word with Rylan and MGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-27If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

When it comes to the brains of our neurodivergent kids and friends… There can be a lot going on. Constant input that they struggle to filter, regular therapy that they may not be able to implement yet, and expectations from a society that's not built for them: it can be so overwhelming and dysregulating.And while manual therapy interventions can result in slow, steady progress, using the principles of neuroplasticity can help accelerate and regulate the brains of our kids much faster. And that's where Brain Harmony comes in.In today's episode, Gwen and Kristen are joined by Carol Garner-Houston to discuss neuroplasticity, what a therapy accelerant is, and how Brain Harmony can make a difference –quickly– in the lives of our neurodivergent kids.This episode might change your life, and you can't miss it. Let's dive in!In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[01:03] Kristen's not-so-good morning[04:46] Gwen's revelation on summer planning[08:03] The therapy that was life-changing for Gwen and her kids[16:19] How the brain reacts during therapies and how Brain Harmony helps to accelerate that process using [23:30] The scientific basis for Brain Harmony and an explanation of neuroplasticity[30:06] Gwen's experience with Brain Harmony and why she appreciated using it for her family[37:37] How accelerants like Brain Harmony can help calm a dysregulated nervous system[41:41] What you actually hear when you listen to Brain Harmony [45:36] The symptoms that Brain Harmony can help treat and how to start working with Brain HarmonyGet the Brain Harmony quiz here!Get the Brain Harmony course on screen safety!Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-26If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Imagine with us for a moment: What would it feel like to be in a concert hall… but having a personalized audio experience created for your own individual needs? And not only that, but someone ten feet away from you could have their own audio experience tailored to their preferences that is incredibly different from your own. Sound fictional? Well, not anymore, and it could be a major game-changer for our neurodivergent loved ones.In today's episode, Gwen and Kristen are joined by two guests, Jen VanSkiver and James Bobel, to discuss new audio technology that could be revolutionary for those with auditory processing disorder. James describes what this new technology feels like and how it works. He also discusses possible use cases with Jen as they imagine just how inclusive the world could be if this technology were implemented broadly.This is such a mind-blowing episode, and you can't miss it. Let's dive in!In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[01:05] Some really big life updates for both Gwen and Kristen[06:56] How Rylan is handling the big change in the Vogelzang household[09:46] What auditory processing is and how it affects the neurodivergent community[17:07] What HOLOPLOT is and how it is transforming audio engineering by controlling sound[21:07] Where and how this new technology is being implemented[28:37] What it feels like to experience HOLOPLOT audio technology[35:35] How Jen VanSkiver envisions using HOLOPLOT technology and the endless ways it can make spaces more accessible for everyone[47:59] The Last Word with RylanGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-25If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

One year!! Can you believe we made it this far, friends? Because we sure can't. You Don't Want a Hug has officially been published for a year, and it has been a wild ride.In today's episode, we're sharing joy, frustration, hope, and gratitude as we look back on this last year of podcasting. We'll be discussing the many lessons we've learned, reading notes sent to us by you lovely listeners, offering advice here and there, and we're going to be pretty raw and honest about the future of the podcast. Quite frankly, we need your help to keep this podcast going. If you want to support us and the production of YDWAHR, consider donating to our GoFundMe here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/fund-the-future-of-you-dont-want-a-hug?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&attribution_id=sl:05e43f5c-1789-4820-8549-9a5b3e1f75f6 This fun little episode is one you can't miss! Let's dive in!In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[01:04] Gwen and Kristen celebrate a very special birthaversary[02:52] Gwen's Rylanism that captures the very real feelings she's having about her kids today[09:15] What Gwen and Kristen have learned after a year of podcasting[12:02] Listener emails we've received covering isolation from local community, finding reassurance and joy in this podcast, and affirmations for Gwen's bird obsession[18:05] Kristen's advice on teaching autistic children how to swim[26:03] The future of You Don't Want a Hug, Right?Get full show notes and the episode transcript:

And we're not going to sugar coat it friends: navigating puberty with neurodivergent kids is rough. And it's not just because we have to explain to our kids the importance of showering and explaining the function of certain parts of their anatomy in great and uncomfortable detail.Puberty also brings with it some intense emotional and personality changes. The little kids that we knew so well are maturing into adults that we often don't understand quite as well anymore, and that transition can be tough too.In this episode, we're reflecting on what puberty looked like for our kids, the direct and honest ways we navigated conversations with our kids, and the tricky emotional and relationship territory that our kids find themselves in now. All these changes are necessary and important… but that doesn't make it easy. We're here for you, friends, as you travel down this road. Let's dive in! In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[01:56] Gwen's very exciting Rylansim and a Grahamism that highlights some personal growth[06:16] Why puberty and autism don't mix well (according to both science and personal experience!)[11:25] The very factual, detailed approach that can help some neurodivergent kids navigate puberty more easily (and why it doesn't work for all of them)[17:48] The stark personality changes that Gwen and Kristen's kids went through during puberty[21:11] The difficulties in navigating sexuality and sexual behavior in neurodivergent teens[27:44] Why some neurodivergent teens experience additional fear and uncertainty than their peers when it comes to growing up and maturing in new ways[35:19] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-23-puberty-autism-don't-mix-navigating-puberty-with-our-neurodivergent-kidsIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Burnout. It's a word that comes up often in society and is often synonymous with being tired and needing a vacation. But when it comes to neurodivergent folks, autistic burnout can look radically different and have long-lasting effects.In today's episode, Becca Lory Hector shares her experience of being diagnosed with autism as an adult after an extensive bout of autistic burnout. She explains why her burnout occurred, what support she wished she had received, and what might have kept her from getting to that point, if only she'd had the language and framework to ask for the support she needed.She also shares what a workplace that doesn't only include neurodivergent folks, but offers them truly belonging, would look like, and why this change is so necessary for our workplaces.Becca shares so much of herself, and her insights are so enlightening for the parents of autistic and neurodivergent kids. Let's jump in!In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[02:07] Gwen and Kristen recap their lives since the last episode and share their Rylanism and Grahamism[09:54] An introduction to who Becca Lory Hector is and why she's so passionate about advocacy[13:07] Becca's experience of receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult[17:03] The way Becca's autism presents, after masking for so many years[22:10] Becca's perspective on how parents can prepare their autistic children to advocate for themselves[26:24] What autistic burnout is and how it presents differently than is often portrayed in society[34:58] The support Becca wishes she could have received while recovering from autistic burnout[43:16] Why our workplaces need to change and not just for those with neurodivergence[48:21] The “B” in DEIB and why it's crucial when it comes to making space for autistic folks in the workplace[58:17] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-22-flipping-the-lens-the-autistic-experience-with-becca-lory-hectorIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Isolation and loneliness are realities for parenting raising humans with neurodiversity. We've experienced both and know how difficult it can be through the many ages and stages of our kids' lives.In today's episode, we talk all about isolation and loneliness and their impact on neurodiverse families. We go into the data behind it, share stories related to feelings of isolation in many different areas of our lives, and offer strategies for how we've coped over the years.In this episode, you'll learn...[01:31] Some Rylan-isms and Graham-isms to start off the show[05:02] The data on isolation and its impact on neurodiverse families[08:52] Kristen's experience of isolation in raising triplets [16:10] How Gwen's isolation began during infertility[19:30] What isolation looked like for us during our children's early education years[26:36] How we spent so many years trying to be “typical” families when we're anything but[31:14] The isolation we felt from our religious communities[35:53] The difference between isolation and loneliness and how we've learned to cope and find support[43:27] The Last Word from one of our kids and their thoughts on isolationGet full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-3-neurodiverse-families-and-the-many-faces-of-isolationIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Therapy plays an important role in our neurodiverse children's lives… But let's be real: the act of constantly driving all over to drag our kids into dingy, uncomfortable waiting rooms multiple times a week is not fun. In this episode, Gwen and Kristen dive into this phenomenon: why parents of neurodiverse kids end up in this situation, how to make the process and experience a little more tolerable, and when it might be time to pull the plug on certain therapies (and escape the excruciating waiting room experience.) Plus, we've got our usual -isms, The Last Word from our kids, and Gwen even wrote a little ditty about the waiting room experience. This is one super relatable episode that you won't want to miss.In this episode, you'll learn…[00:00] Intro[05:51] What those waiting rooms where we spent hours, days, and months in with ALL of our kids are actually like[09:10] Gwen's waiting room ditty[14:49] The things (and people) that made waiting in those dingy little rooms more tolerable[16:17] What it felt like to question the usefulness of therapy in those waiting rooms[22:34] The benefits and limitations of talk therapy for our neurodivergent children[28:04] Our key takeaways from this episode on the purgatory that is the therapy waiting room and how to make it just a little bit better[30:05] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-21-the-purgatory-of-the-therapy-waiting-roomIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Sports can be critically important to a child's development and even their family's place in the community. That's why our kids, regardless of ability, deserve more than a church basement to hone those social connections and their skills as athletes!In today's episode, we're interviewing Jen VanSkiver, Chief Officer of Strategic Growth for Special Olympics of Michigan and her daughter's biggest advocate. You'll learn how Jen has helped to facilitate the creation of a first-of-its-kind Unified Inclusion Center, how its stakeholders informed the building's design, and why this project serves so much purpose for everyone, not just people with disabilities. Listen in now to hear how we're changing the game of unified sports!In this episode, you'll learn…[11:42] What led to Jen's work at Special Olympics[22:07] What the Unified Inclusion Center is and why it exists[31:57] How stakeholders contributed to the design discussions[42:55] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-20-inclusion-over-ego-how-the-special-olympics-organization-embraced-universal-design-with-jenIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

The classroom is the essential component across every school from K-12 to higher education. So why is it that physical space is often overlooked as being a central player in the learning experience? If you're a parent to a child with a disability, then you know that their environment can make all the difference!In today's episode, we're interviewing Dr. Elif Tural and Dr. David Kniola, experts in the field of universal design and its various applications in educational settings and beyond. They share what universal design actually is, common barriers to learning in typical classrooms, and important aspects to consider when designing equitable spaces. Listen in to hear how universal design can benefit both neurodivergent populations and entire communities as a whole!In this episode, you'll learn…[15:24] Defining universal design and purposeful learning spaces[18:53] Common barriers to learning in typical educational settings[22:13] Important aspects to consider in universal design and wayfinding[26:47] The process of designing equitable spaces and why they benefit the whole[33:42] Simple design solutions that can be implemented in classrooms right awayGet full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-19-universal-design-for-classroom-spaces-with-virginia-techIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Being a parent of neurodivergent children is challenging enough for most of us. But what does that look like when you introduce racial bias into the mix? How does that affect the way parents and children with disabilities are perceived by their schools and their providers?In today's episode, we're interviewing Jackie Bess, a wife and mom of three boys with autism whose story is an excellent demonstration of the intersection of race and disability. Jackie describes many of the struggles she faced throughout the autism journey including how she has learned to serve as her sons' most powerful advocate. You'll learn some of the strategies she has developed to help keep her sons safe, how her experiences have impacted her own health, and why it's essential for Jackie to ensure that her voice is heard. This is an episode sure to resonate with many people of color who are raising children with disabilities.In this episode, you'll learn…[1:46] Jackie's background and how she became an advocate for children with autism[5:59] The story of how Jackie's three sons came to be diagnosed with autism[24:11] Strategies that Jackie and her husband use to keep their sons safe[34:12] How Jackie's experiences have impacted her own health[38:58] Why Jackie has to ensure that she is taken seriously[51:19] What Jackie loves most about each of her kidsGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-18-autism-unconscious-bias-and-the-intersection-of-race-and-disability-with-jackie-bess/If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Few things are more important to us as humans, especially to neurodivergent children, than access to quality healthcare. But did you know that Black and Hispanic children are less likely to be identified with autism than white children? This simple fact invites a closer look into the social currency that many of us take for granted and why the healthcare system looks vastly different to those of marginalized populations.In today's episode, we're interviewing Robin Ennis, a social worker and the LEND Self-Advocacy Discipline Director at JFK Partners on her own experience with health disparities among BIPOC Individuals. Robin shares her journey with hydrocephalus, how the misdiagnosis of her condition led to the loss of her vision, and how simply being heard by her providers might have changed the trajectory of her life. Whether you come from an underrepresented population or not, this episode promises valuable insight into the ways healthcare can look a little different for all of us and how to use your voice to advocate for yourself and your children.In this episode, you'll learn…[1:37] Our experiences navigating the holiday season with neurodivergent children[11:40] Robin's personal experience with health disparities among BIPOC Individuals[21:09] How the misdiagnosis of Robin's condition led to the loss of her vision[31:27] Disability, grief, and how Robin is making meaning out of her story[40:24] Client work and the impact of race on a neurodivergence journeyGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-17-neurodivergence-and-paving-the-way-for-a-more-equitable-healthcare-system-with-robin-ennisIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

As parents of neurodiverse kids, navigating the holidays can be…. a lot. Trying to get our kids to tolerate all the events, all the activities, and all the routine changes on top of everything else is exhausting, frustrating, and quite frankly, maybe not worth it for us and our kids. And who says we actually have to do all of this stuff anyway?In today's episode, we're sharing our best holiday tips for surviving the holiday season, including managing schedules, adjusting the gift-giving process, and resetting expectations for what a fun holiday looks like. The truth is, the holiday season doesn't have to look any certain way. We get to decide what works best for our families and how we want to enjoy this precious time we get with them.If you're already feeling a little overwhelmed by the holiday season coming up, this episode is for you!In this episode, you'll learn…[02:19] Why the holiday break is so different from summer break when it comes to the change in routine for neurodiverse kids[08:04] How managing –and not overscheduling– events during the holiday season can help your stress level during the holiday season[13:20] Why you might want to rethink your process of gift-giving for neurodiverse kids[16:34] Why Legos are absolutely magical for neurodiverse kids during the holiday season[18:09] Why prioritizing your favorite holiday activities can be so helpful and why it's okay to let go of the ones that don't work for your family[24:12] Why letting go of societal expectations and embracing what works for your unique kids can make the holidays so much more enjoyable[28:04] Aaaaand that includes letting go or adjusting formal dinners if you need to[30:44] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-16-legos-alone-time-adjusted-expectations-how-to-survive-the-holidays-with-neurodiverse-kidsIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

We have so much to be grateful for, and what better time to acknowledge that than with Thanksgiving just on the horizon? Since expressing gratitude is essential to our health and happiness, especially as parents of neurodiverse children, we're on a mission to be more intentional with how we recognize all the things we have to be thankful for each and every day — whether they're obvious, a little quirky, or even a bit of a stretch!In today's episode, we're covering everything from letting go of control, to practicing greater compassion, to embracing all life's challenges. If it has been a while since you've taken a moment to reflect, or the chaos of daily life has felt a little too all-consuming lately, you're in the right place. Join us as we slow down for just a few minutes to call out our favorite blessings.In this episode, you'll learn…[10:46] That we can't control every outcome and why that's perfectly okay[17:53] How we've expanded our understanding of what it means to be human[22:08] Why fitting in is overrated and the advantages of being your true self[26:12] The power of community and sharing your experience with others[29:18] How struggle can be a gift that makes your strongerGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-15-here-are-the-things-we-re-most-grateful-to-have-learned-on-our-neurodiverse-parenting-journeyIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Halloween can sometimes be a struggle for neurodiverse children. There's costumes and candy and strangers to consider. Halloween can be adapted to fit the needs of your family. Don't feel like it has to be the same, traditional Halloween you see in the movies. That's not always real life, friends. And if your kid tries to poop in someone else's house, it's okay. We've been there.In today's episode, we've got a short and sweet conversation to share our pro tips for how to tackle Halloween like a badass parent of neurodiverse kids. We talk about costumes, candy, trick-or-treating, incorporating special treats like movies, recruiting reinforcements (like Grandma and Grandpa!), and more. We've got you covered for spooky season, don't you worry.In this episode, you'll learn…[06:59] Our pro tips about costumes, candy, and pooping in neighbors' houses, so you can tackle Halloween like a badass[24:11] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-14-it-s-spooky-season-our-top-tips-on-tackling-halloween-with-neurodiverse-kidsIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Standardized testing and educational plans are a reality of life for us as parents of neurodiverse students. But it can be a bit daunting to think about, especially if you're new to the process. There are forms and meetings and legalities that can overwhelm you if you're not prepared. And honestly, it's hard to be prepared for something you don't know much about. That's why we're here to help you. In today's episode, we're sharing how we've navigated the individualized education program (IEP) process. We have a lot of trauma and angst around this issue and we want to be very transparent with you all when it comes to expectations for this process. We also talk about the history of standardized testing, why IEPs are so important for neurodiverse kids, and some strategies you can use to set yourselves up for success.In this episode, you'll learn…[07:37] The big picture history on why standardized testing exists and the weight it's given from a historical context[11:31] What the focus on assessments has done to classrooms, plus the importance of IEPs and 504s for neurodiverse students[20:47] Our personal experiences with the IEP process, and why we have compassion for IEP teams[29:49] Some IEP hacks and resources we've used over the years for our own kids[41:46] Tips and strategies to set yourselves up for success[49:09] What the What? Recap[52:04] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-13-iep-strategies-to-set-you-and-your-neurodiverse-child-up-for-success If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

TW: This episode discusses suicide. Please listen with care.It's suicide prevention month and we know that our population of neurodiverse youth and adults are impacted greatly by suicide, by suicidal ideation, and mental health issues because of bullying and other social challenges. It's a vital topic, and one that's hard to discuss, but we really have to do it because it's so important.In today's episode, we have our very first guest. We're so excited to talk to Anne Moss Rogers, a suicide prevention trainer, author, and advocate. Anne Moss tells the story of losing her son to suicide and why she's become to passionate about suicide prevention and bringing awareness to parents and schools. We also discuss why parents are afraid to ask their kids about suicidal thoughts, how social challenges can lead to suicidality for neurodiverse kids, and the importance of having a safety plan in place. In this episode, you'll learn…[01:44] An introduction to our very first guest on the podcast, Anne Moss Rogers, and how she became so passionate about suicide prevention[21:31] Why parents are afraid to ask their kids about suicidal ideation [30:01] How the research shows that social challenges can lead to suicidality for neurodiverse children, and why we need to be able to talk about it[39:19] The importance of having a safety plan for instances of suicidal thoughts[45:02] How parents of neurodiverse children who experience suicidal ideation can take care of themselves[52:34] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/12-suicide-prevention-for-the-neurodiverse-population-with-anne-moss-rogersIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Most of us with neurodiverse children have IEP or 504 plans, and that means your child will have a team working with them at school. The team, your child, and you form an important dynamic when it comes to your child's education and, from our experience, starting the year off on the right foot makes all the difference.In today's episode, we're continuing with our back to school series and we're sharing why the school team partnership is so important, and the 5 key questions you should ask yourself in order for this partnership to succeed. We also share some stories that we hope will help you to learn from our mistakes.In this episode, you'll learn…[01:15] All about our new program, The Communal Closet![11:27] Why it's important to partner well with your neurodiverse child's school teams this year, plus 5 key questions to consider for this partnership[55:14] Our What the What segment, recapping the 5 questions to ask yourself regarding your child's team at school[56:57] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-11-5-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-partnering-with-your-neurodiverse-child-s-school-teamIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

It's back to school time, friends, and it's such a difficult time for neurodiverse families. There's a lot of mental and physical prep work we have to do in order to get ourselves and our kids ready for the transition from summer. If you're in the early years of back to school time, don't worry, it does eventually get a bit easier as you get more experience with it. In today's episode, we're kicking off our back to school series. We're sharing why back to school time is so hard for all of us, how parents need to prioritize their sanity, and the tools and strategies that we've used to help alleviate the stress for all involved.In this episode, you'll learn…[12:15] Why transitioning back to school is so hard for us as parents of neurodiverse kids and for the kids themselves[19:44] How to prioritize yourself and your sanity during back to school time[30:23] The strategies we've personally used to ease the back to school transition for our kids[42:17] Our What the What segment, recapping the key takeaways for back to school success[44:27] The Last WordGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-10-back-to-school-series-how-to-alleviate-stress-and-ease-anxiety-for-neurodiverse-familyIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Kristen recently retired from her work at The Joshua School, a non-profit, facility school, approved by the Colorado Department of Education that partners closely with local school districts to provide the intensive services many of the students need. It was such a meaningful experience in her life and it's something we really need to talk about. In today's episode, Kristen shares what The Joshua School is, what she learned there, what she added to that environment, and what she's able to offer all of you as a result of working with the population of students who are significantly impacted by their neurodiversity.In this episode, you'll learn…[05:32] Kristen explains what the Joshua School is [11:26] Kristen talks about the roles she held there, and the wonderful staff she worked with[14:32] Kristen reminisces about the students at the school and shares a few stories that have stuck with her[23:40] How joy is the result of feeling safe and feeling like you belongGet full show notes and the episode transcript: If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/ep-9-reflections-insights-and-fond-memories-from-working-with-neurodiverse-students

Many neurodiverse people have special interests and engage in repetitive behaviors. These interests are a crucial way for our kids to connect with others. But sometimes their interests and behaviors can be limiting, especially in school or other social settings. In today's episode, we talk about why neurodiverse kids engage in special interests and repetitive behaviors with such intensity, how it can become problematic in their everyday lives, and how we can use those interests to motivate our kids to engage with the world in new ways. Plus, we're introducing our new “What the What” segment and we hope you enjoy it.  In this episode, you'll learn…[09:00] People with neurodiversity engage in special interests and repetitive behaviors with high intensity for several reasons[20:03] How this can become really problematic when they're unable to stop the interest independently[31:26] Strategies to identify the function of the repetitive behavior and how we can use them as a motivator to help our kids engage with the world socially[48:00] Our new What the What segment that will recap each episode[50:10] The Last Word from our kids about their first special interestsGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-8-repetitive-behavior-and-restricted-interests-superpower-and-coping-mechanism-for-our-kidsIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Family travel is supposed to be fun, right? We're bonding and making memories and all that jazz. In a perfect world, we'd agree with you, but the reality is a bit more miserable when you're traveling as a neurodiverse family.In today's episode, we talk about how to plan for your trip in advance and get your neurodiverse kids used to the idea long beforehand, the issues you'll likely encounter no matter which mode of transportation you're using, and how exhausting it can be for the whole family, even if your kids don't remember that part later. Plus, can we all just agree that theme parks are the worst?!  In this episode, you'll learn…[11:41] Travel is so important for our neurodiverse kids to experience, but it's also very difficult because of the change in routine[13:13] The importance of creating a social story for our kids before leaving for any trip[16:13] The issues that come up when we travel, like food, heavy backpacks, entertainment devices, stuffed animals, having a backup plan for meltdowns, and so much more[29:31] The traumatic experiences we've had at theme parks, especially in Orlando, FL[44:47] Controversial opinion alert, but what if we take separate trips sometimes without our neurodiverse kids?[49:49] The Last Word from our kids and their thoughts on travelGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-7-the-ninth-circle-of-hell-traveling-when-you-re-a-neurodiverse-family/If you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Both of us have spiraled down the rabbit hole of diagnosis with our children. As a parent, when you first hear about autism, you don't know what you don't know. You find yourself asking, “Are these behaviors normal?” many, many times. What even is “normal”, anyway?In today's episode, we talk about the term “diagnosis”, the data around autism diagnoses, and our rabbit hole experiences with multiple diagnoses of autism, Tourette's, OCD, and more with our children. If you're currently experiencing this with your own children, we see you. We've been there.  In this episode, you'll learn…[10:49] The data around autism diagnosis, and why some folks with autism actually prefer not to use the term diagnosis[21:25] Kristen's rabbit hole diagnosis experience with her children[30:16] Our shared experience with Tourette's syndrome diagnoses for our kids[41:22] Gwen's rabbit hole diagnosis experience with her children[55:03] The Last Word from our kids on what they think it means to be diagnosed with somethingGet full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-6-going-down-the-rabbit-hole-of-diagnoses-with-neurodiverse-childrenIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Ahhh, summer time. Swim lessons, water parks, summer camps - it's the dream life, right? *insert record scratch* For neurodiverse families, that's not really the case. Instead, summer can be really hard for us. In today's episode, we talk about the struggles of summer, how we try to cope, and how summer is harder on parents than the kids. Plus, you can hear what our kids think about summer from their perspective.  In this episode, you'll learn…[11:39] Why summer is so hard for us as parents of neurodiverse children[13:38] Why things like summer camps and water parks don't really work out for our families[20:48] The lack of structure summer brings is difficult to contend with and why we no longer set expectations during this time[29:18] The little rays of hope we have to offer you about summer [35:31] The Last Word from our kids who share some things that defined their summers growing up, the good and the badGet full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-5-The-Summer-Suck-The-Struggles-of-Summer-with-Neurodiverse-KidsIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Making friends can be hard for anyone at any age, but it's especially hard for neurodiverse children. We've had a front row seat to the experiences our kids have had trying to make friends and the lessons they've learned (and often have to re-learn) about who to let into their friendship circles. In today's episode, we talk about the data behind making friends when you have autism, learning what friendship and loyalty mean, and how we can help to facilitate friendship for our neurodiverse children.  In this episode, you'll learn…[06:24] The data on people with autism and friendships[12:57] How our kids' friendships began to change when their friends joined sports activities and how our culture is very sports obsessed[18:24] How we've had to define friendship for our kids and be gatekeepers to those who don't reciprocate friendship[28:54] How there's hope for our older kids and making friends after the loneliness of early childhood years[31:57] How we have a whole different understanding of what friendship looks like for our neurodiverse children and how each child has made progress in their own way[37:25] The importance of having family members who adore and appreciate our kids[43:49] The Last Word from our kids and their experiences making friends as a childGet full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-4-how-our-neurodiverse-kids-navigate-friendshipIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Isolation and loneliness are realities for parenting raising humans with neurodiversity. We've experienced both and know how difficult it can be through the many ages and stages of our kids' lives.In today's episode, we talk all about isolation and loneliness and their impact on neurodiverse families. We go into the data behind it, share stories related to feelings of isolation in many different areas of our lives, and offer strategies for how we've coped over the years.In this episode, you'll learn...[01:31] Some Rylan-isms and Graham-isms to start off the show[05:02] The data on isolation and its impact on neurodiverse families[08:52] Kristen's experience of isolation in raising triplets [16:10] How Gwen's isolation began during infertility[19:30] What isolation looked like for us during our children's early education years[26:36] How we spent so many years trying to be “typical” families when we're anything but[31:14] The isolation we felt from our religious communities[35:53] The difference between isolation and loneliness and how we've learned to cope and find support[43:27] The Last Word from one of our kids and their thoughts on isolationGet full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-3-neurodiverse-families-and-the-many-faces-of-isolationIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

We're bringing you a mini episode today, and it's one we had to record to rectify something we just realized: not everyone knows what neurodiversity means, or what autism spectrum disorder actually entails. In today's episode, we're getting back to basics and digging out the DSM-5 to define these terms for anyone who might not be aware. Let's normalize the experiences our children are having and reflect that with the words we use.In this episode, you'll learn...[01:00] A Graham-ism and Rylan-ism to open the show[09:24] Why we're getting back to basics and talking about the terminology used for neurodiversity [11:31] What autism spectrum disorder is and how that diagnosis can differ greatly among families[14:21] How the term neurodiversity is used to describe the idea that people experience and interact with the world around them in different ways[16:44] Why the term neurodiversity seems to be used more in our culture even though it's been around since the ‘90s.Get full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/minisode-neurodiversity-and-the-autism-spectrum-words-you-need-to-knowIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

We have a lot of experience parenting some fiercely amazing, neurodiverse kids and we have so many stories about that to share with you on this show. But before we dive deep into those stories, we wanted you to get to know us and our families a bit better. In today's episode, we interview each other and talk about where we live, our difficult journeys of having kids (to say the least!), their diagnoses and personalities and more. Come meet us and find out who we are and what makes us tick. In this episode, you'll learn...[01:10] An introduction to Gwen[05:03] An introduction to Kristen[14:24] Gwen introduces us to her children, Rylan and Reagan[25:43] Kristen introduces us to her children, Graham, Jameson, and Hayden[43:40] The Last Word, where you hear directly from our kids and how they see their roles in our families Get full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-2-an-introduction-to-our-cast-of-charactersIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Well, hello there. We're your hosts, Gwen and Kristen, nice to meet you. This is the very first episode of You Don't Want a Hug, Right? If you're looking for honest and often irreverent conversations about parenting humans with neurodiversity, then you are in the right place. In today's episode, we're sharing our mission and our perspective, not lessons or lectures. We're also giving you an introduction not only to us and our goals and values, but also to our children, because their voice is just as important as ours. We're so excited to share from our proverbial couch to yours. Let's get started!In this episode, you'll learn...[02:15] How we met (spoiler: there was alcohol and fried food involved)[07:13] Some quirky background info you should know about us[12:51] The story behind the name, “You Don't Want a Hug, Right?” [15:25] Our goals for this podcast, especially helping you to remember that you're a whole human being outside of being a parent[20:30] Our values and how they've informed our lives and our parenting[23:21] The structure you can expect from our episodes [27:22] The Last Word (from our kids), explaining what dignity means to each of themGet full show notes and the episode transcript:https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-1-we-re-not-your-average-parenting-podcastIf you can't get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Join Gwen & Kristen on their proverbial couch (the most INCLUSIVE of couches) as they share irreverently honest stories and wisdom gained through a collective 35 years of parenting FIERCELY EPIC neurodiverse humans.  These friends have spent eons talking together about the hilarity and the hard of their parenting journeys and they want to invite you into those conversations too.  Thanks for tuning in. They already think you're rather fantastic. To get more of Gwen & Kristen, join our newsletter:  https://www.youdontwantahug.com/