Podcasts about th ink queerly

Activist and scholar Jeff Iovannone joins us to discuss diet culture and harmful body standards in the gay community, how oppression and the AIDS crisis shaped the “normate gay” aesthetic, why every body is a Pride body, how to create a gay men's body-liberation movement, and so much more! Plus, Christy answers a listener question about fatphobia in eating-disorder treatment programs. (This episode was originally published on June 24, 2019.) Jeff Iovannone is an activist-scholar, writer, and researcher from Buffalo, New York who specializes in gender and LGBTQ studies. He is the creator of the blog Queer History for the People, writes a bi-weekly column--entitled Talk Queerly--on LGBTQ culture and politics for the web magazine Th-Ink Queerly, and is a founding member of Body Liberated Buffalo, a volunteer-run activist and advocacy organization that works for body liberation in Western New York. Find him online at medium.com/@jeffry.iovannone. Subscribe to our newsletter, Food Psych Weekly, to keep getting new weekly Q&As and other new content while the podcast is on hiatus! If you're ready to break free from diet culture once and for all, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course. You'll get all your questions answered in an exclusive monthly podcast, plus ongoing support in our private community forum and dozens of hours of other great content. Christy's first book, Anti-Diet, is available wherever you get your books. Order online at christyharrison.com/book, or at local bookstores across North America, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. Grab Christy's free guide, 7 simple strategies for finding peace and freedom with food, for help getting started on the anti-diet path. For full show notes and a transcript of this episode, go to christyharrison.com/foodpsych. Ask your own question about intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, or eating disorder recovery at christyharrison.com/questions.

Over the weekend I wasn’t feeling well, worn out from the heat and humidity, and stuck in my head feeling somewhat depressed. I decided to lay low and take it easy and binged on Netflix. I was feeling a lot of stress and worry about how to make progress on some projects I’m working on when I'm feeling so scattered and unfocused all the time.I knew what the problem was. I just hadn't figured out how to address it.That worrying caused me to think deeply all day. On Sunday, I felt better after a solid rest and realized my previous day of deep contemplation lead to absolute clarity about what I needed to do.The short version is that I have decided it is time to close my publication on Medium, Th-Ink Queerly. Over two and a half years ago I had an idea to launch a personal development blog on Medium, which I called Th-Ink. Within a few months that morphed into Th-Ink Queerly as I began to talk about more LGBTQ issues and then opened up the publication to other writers on Medium.Read the full post here: To Kill Your Darlings — Move Forward By Letting Go.

Happy Anniversary Think Queerly!Two years ago on June 20, 2018, I launched my first podcast. It was called, The Living OUT Podcast, a tongue-in-cheek reference to coming out and being proud to be authentically out.  My focus in early episodes was the gay male experience, the uniqueness and creativity that gay men bring to the world, as well as my go-to core subject, personal development..Concurrently, I was running my publication on Medium, Th-Ink Queerly, that had grown exponentially and was about to endure a period of difficulty, due to some personal interactions. What transpired continues to be a perfect learning experience and has shown me how awful infighting can be within any marginalized group or community.Renaming the podcast to Think Queerly.The podcast still fulfills its original mission to challenge the status quo. My use of the word queer broadens the scope, since queer is not the sole domain of sexuality or gender, it is also a way of being and looking at the world.Almost a year ago, I asked, "Is there such a thing as a queer leadership?" That led me to my current research on contemplating various translations of the Tao Te Ching and considering how to share that ancient wisdom through queer eyes.Think of 'queer' as that which is flexible and yielding to influence, like water flowing over, through, and around. We can see this as the yin and yang of society — the status quo and the queer. We need both as they are a priori part of the relationship that allows each other to exist. In any relationship, we need to work towards the balance of the polarities — which the status quo and 'queer' represent — to function harmoniously in society.Now, a new journey begins as I prepare to launch exclusive, new features on the Think Queerly Podcast, as well as launching a new, personal transformation podcast. 

This is a powerful thought experiment prompt that could reveal far more about who you are, now during the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown than at any other time.“If ever there were a time to tell the truth, what do I need to say? Who do I need to say it to? Why have I avoided speaking this truth for so long?”You might not find this a difficult or challenging question. This could also be the sort of question that makes you feel immediately uncomfortable. You might get angry or feel depressed as you thinking deeply about your answer. There are many good and valid reasons for why we hold back and protect our deepest truths. Revealing our secrets or fears to others requires emotional vulnerability, personal responsibility, and courage.----Read the complete post on Th-Ink Queerly.----Download my free book: Think Queerly – Meditations & Critical Reflections On Liberating Humanity.

In this Think Queerly Podcast Leadership Discussion, I speak with Jeffry Iovannone and David Butler about having lived through the origins of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, political and social observations, human behaviour, social media, community response, ACT-UP and activism, and how we can contrast this knowledge with what we are currently experiencing in real-time with COVID-19.Historians have long argued that infectious diseases have changed the course of humanity throughout history.“HIV, a pandemic that is still with us and still lacks a vaccine, has killed an estimated 32 million people and infected 75 million, with more added every day” (Bryan Walsh; BBC).While HIV and COVID-19 are both considered pandemics (a disease epidemic that spreads worldwide) they are dramatically different for many critical reasons that we discuss, including:How did AIDS change humanity?While there are aspects of the current pandemic that are beyond our control, in what ways might this situation provide us with the opportunity to reshape humanity for the better?Instead of just critiquing our current system, what kind of a world would we like to live in, and what can we do to get there?What lessons from the HIV/AIDS epidemic are most applicable to this moment in terms of not only surviving the current crisis but working towards a better world?How do we come together to create change when the current pandemic necessitates us to remain physically apart?Guest BiosDavid Butler is an eclectic artist, actor and designer living in Buffalo, NY. After thirty years as a traditional theatre actor and set designer, Butler has now transitioned to work in the motion picture industry. As Production Designer, a number of his films are available on Amazon and Netflix including After the Sun Fell, Cold Book, the lesbian thanksgiving coming-out comedy Lez Bomb, and the recently released teen thriller, Dead Sound.Butler has been an active member of his LGBTQ Community since his early days in Act UP in the late 1980s and he currently shares facilitation of his home town LGBTQ Facebook page. Later this week they plan to announce the group’s first mini, virtual, pride fest called “PRIDE INSIDE!” Follow Dave on Twitter and Instagram.Jeffry J. Iovannone is an activist-scholar, writer, educator, and researcher from Buffalo, New York who holds a Ph.D. in American Studies and specializes in gender and LGBTQ studies. He is the creator of the blog Queer History for the People, a columnist for Th-Ink Queerly, and a member of the Buffalo-Niagara LGBTQ History Project. Follow Jeffry on Twitter.----Join the Queer Leadership discussion in my Facebook group.Download my free book: Think Queerly – Meditations & Critical Reflections On Liberating Humanity.Support The Way of Queer Leadership.

A Think Queerly Leadership InterviewIn this episode I speak with Matt about,How trying to win the approval of his father made him seek out religion.Why this in part led him to become involved with conversion therapy.The years he spent in a private Facebook group (from about 18 to 23 years old) speaking with about 300 other men who classified as having “unwanted same-sex attractions,” how toxic that environment was with mental health issues and shaming, and how and why he was unable to leave.His experience when he attended a so-called “life-changing” conversion therapy camp weekend (Brother’s Road: Journey into Manhood — the subject of the Vice documentary video, below) in the US when he was 23.Why he remained connected with the weekend group for about 18 months, even though he no longer believed in the teachings or process.Matt’s involvement with “No Conversion Canada” and his media scrum on Parliament Hill when the Canadian government’s tabled the first reading of Bill C-8 to ban conversion therapy in Canada.And, what to do if you want to leave a conversion therapy program, or if you know someone you care about who needs help.Read the complete post with additional details, resources, the videos of Matt speaking at Parliament Hill and the Vice documentary, “Living Through Gay Conversion Therapy” on my LGBTQ publication, Th-Ink Queerly on Medium:Canadian Gay Conversion Therapy Survivor, Matt Ashcroft------Join the discussion in my Facebook group.Download my free book: Think Queerly – Meditations & Critical Reflections On Liberating Humanity.Support The Way of Queer Leadership.

One of the most important directives of the Th-Ink Queerly mission statement is that we  as queer thinkers and writers are purposefully critical of the status quo. At the same time, we can and should engage with and debate our peers, even when we disagree with them.How we treat our own dictates how others will treat us.But for us to work together successfully as a community of queer thought leaders we need to be mindful of how we support and treat each other, especially in a debate. This is one of the many ways a minority group of people can together work to affect positive change ; to root out issues of disagreement and to boldly move forward collectively.Read the full post on Th-Ink Queerly:How We Treat Each Other As Queer Leaders: An invitation to disrupt the status quo and elevate hearts and minds.Are You a Closet Queer Creative?Does the idea of a supportive, encouraging, and queer mastermind group excite you? If yes, let’s talk! Click here to learn more about how I coach and complete the Mastermind application form to find out if the program is a fit for you.---Support The Way of Queer Leadership.

Those are the words of Jeffry Iovannone from his article titled, “Pete Buttigieg is Not the Gay Candidate I Want”, which was incidentally published on January 27th, 2019, a few days after Buttigieg launched his presidential exploratory committee.Jeff has been a regular guest on the podcast and today he joins me as we discuss Jeff’s follow up essay, “Pete Buttigieg is — Still — Not the Gay Candidate I Want”. We go deeper to consider what we would like to see from someone who is not only gay and out, but someone vying for the leadership of the Democratic Party in the United States of America.We discuss the following topics:What is "Covering"?Why Pete Buttigieg is a prime example of "covering""Covering" and Queer LeadershipDo queer public figures have a different responsibility to "use their difference to make a difference" than the average queer citizen?Can one exercise effective queer leadership, or effective leadership in general, if they're "covering"?What might someone like Mayor Pete tell us about the state of LGBTQ rights at present?Guest BioJeff Iovannone is an activist-scholar, writer, educator, and researcher from Buffalo, New York who holds a Ph.D. in American Studies and specializes in gender and LGBTQ studies. He is the creator of the blog Queer History for the People, a columnist for Th-Ink Queerly, a member of the Buffalo-Niagara LGBTQ History Project, and is a founding member of Body Liberated Buffalo, a volunteer-run activist and advocacy group that works for body liberation in Western New York.Read the complete article on Th-Ink Queerly:How Pete Buttigieg 'Covers' His Gay Identity. The Way of Queer Leadership Discussion with Jeffry Iovannone — TQ110Support The Way of Queer Leadership.

Activist and scholar Jeff Iovannone joins us to discuss diet culture and harmful body standards in the gay community, how oppression and the AIDS crisis shaped the “normate gay” aesthetic, why every body is a Pride body, how to create a gay men’s body-liberation movement, and so much more! Plus, Christy answers a listener question about fatphobia in eating-disorder treatment programs. Jeff Iovannone is an activist-scholar, writer, and researcher from Buffalo, New York who specializes in gender and LGBTQ studies. He is the creator of the blog Queer History for the People, writes a bi-weekly column--entitled Talk Queerly--on LGBTQ culture and politics for the web magazine Th-Ink Queerly, and is a founding member of Body Liberated Buffalo, a volunteer-run activist and advocacy organization that works for body liberation in Western New York. Find him online at medium.com/@jeffry.iovannone. This episode is brought to you by Christy's forthcoming book, Anti-Diet, which is now available for pre-order! Learn more and pre-order now at christyharrison.com/book. Grab Christy's free guide, 7 simple strategies for finding peace and freedom with food, to get started on the anti-diet path. If you're ready to break free from diet culture once and for all, join Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course. Ask your own question about intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, or eating disorder recovery at christyharrison.com/questions. To learn more about Food Psych and get full show notes and a transcript of this episode, go to christyharrison.com/foodpsych.

A Living OUT Leadership Interview with Jeff Iovannone and Ken GaultIn this special "Pride" episode, we discuss the “Stonewall origin myth” and why the mainstream assumption that “gay liberation” started with Stonewall is both problematic and harmful.According to Jeffry Iovannone, one of the two commentators on this episode,“The danger of the Stonewall myth [...] lies in the fact that it has become not only one story LGBTQ people tell about themselves, but the story we tell about ourselves. Stonewall is not just a narrative, but a meta-narrative: a totalizing account regarded as a universal truth that excludes other narrative threads and possibilities.”SourceKen Gault – our "Gay Elder" commentator this episode – was born in 1951 and has the lived experience of growing up in the time preceding the singular event known as the Stonewall riots. He remembers going out to the bars before 1969 and seeing people who were happy to be among others like themselves. Surprisingly, Gault didn’t hear about the riots until five years after the event. So what does that tell us about how Stonewall has been configured in our collective psyche as a “tipping point” in our LGBTQ history?We move through history, not to discuss the events of Stonewall themselves, but to better understand all the other layers of history that have brought us to this point in time. We consider the origins of what we call Pride today, the examples of bravery, empathy, and the human strength of those who fought, gave care, and died during the AIDS crisis, what we have fought for over the past 50 years, the commodification and commercialization of LGBTQ Pride, the issues of privilege, visibility, the ignorance of history, and police at Pride.Speaker BiosFor over 50 years, Ken Gault has been an active participant, observer and raconteur in the gay communities of Montreal, Baltimore and New York: the turmoil of the ’60s and Stonewall, the excesses of the 70s, the harsh realities of the 80s, miracles of the 90s. And this millennium: a new beginning or business as usual, political power or personal growth? Stay tuned, “GUncle” Ken explains it all for you. Follow Ken on Medium where he pens his “On This Day” series at Th-Ink Queerly and on Facebook.Jeff Iovannone is an activist-scholar, writer, educator, and researcher from Buffalo, New York who holds a Ph.D. in American Studies and specializes in gender and LGBTQ studies. He is the creator of the blog Queer History for the People, a columnist for Th-Ink Queerly, a member of the Buffalo-Niagara LGBTQ History Project, and is a founding member of Body Liberated Buffalo, a volunteer-run activist and advocacy group that works for body liberation in Western New York. He first appeared on the Living OUT Podcast in, Jeffry Iovannone: Deconstructing the Ideal Gay Male Body – LOP077.Support the Think Queerly Podcast!ReferencesStonewall Was Not the Beginning of the Gay Rights MovementThe Participation of Uniformed Police at Toronto Pride in 2019 – LOP089Pride: Party, Protest, Or Both? – LOP004Pride: Should We Party, Protest Or Both?Gay Men and The New Way Forward by Raymond RigogliosoImage credit: yosoynuts

About twice a month I write a newsletter to share and promote the queer thought leadership that’s published on my magazine, Th-Ink Queerly on Medium. The day after I published, Normate Gays, an LGBTQ Canadian Coin, and the Importance of Inconvenience I received a response to the newsletter. The offended party wrote: “Take me off your mailing list please. I will not be called queer, it is offensive and disgusting. Besides half the weird shit I read from you makes me very very angry. You've absolutely lost the plot...you people make me not want to be gay... funny isn't it, it's the gay community that makes me feel like this.” No one can make you feel the way you feel. I cannot make you angry. A politician cannot make you angry. A friend or your partner cannot make you happy. Only you can choose your feelings based on behaviours and beliefs. Seeing the truth of this requires self-compassion and mindfulness. When your partner strokes your hair looking into your eyes with love, you can ignore them and feel nothing, or you can melt slowly into their eyes, appreciating the experience of tenderness and intimacy. When someone writes an angry tweet, post, or makes a negative comment, you can ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist. You can respond with probing questions in an attempt to dialogue. Or you can react with anger and shout back, or write expletives in retaliation. It is our choice how we respond. It is admittedly difficult to control our reactions that are based on unconscious behaviours learned and patterned over many years. Many of these behaviours are meant to protect us from harm. It is a mindfulness practice that helps us slip into the gap – that moment of no time and no thought – which allows us that meditative pause to override the ego’s need to defend or flee, and to choose a more tempered response. You know you are making a difference when you people push back. You know you’re disrupting the status quo to a large extent, that when someone is so “shook" out of their protective “box" they can't click "unsubscribe”. Instead, they have to first lash out in an attempt to make you feel bad, to shame you for your ideas, to prove that you’re wrong. It's easier to close your eyes, cover your ears, and say nothing about what’s wrong in the world. It takes massive amounts of courage and an ever-thickening skin to risk offending – not for the sake of offence, but for the sake of disrupting people from out of the fog most of us live in. This is not to sound trite, dismissive, or better than. I did not respond as effectively as I would have liked to the above person. I treated him with as much kindness as I could, but I also challenged him each time he came back at me with another jab, more bullying, and more shaming of my work. According to him, I alone am the one person in the world who is destroying the world for gays. This person taught me a lesson. He showed me the man box culture at work, exactly as Mark Greene described it to me in our Living OUT Leadership interview. Thanks to this serendipity, I’m reminded that I'm on the right path. Challenging people’s beliefs it’s not an easy path. Sometimes I want to give up. Sometimes I think no one cares, or that no one is listening. That’s not because I need followers or want attention. I don't want to win people over. To me, that's competition and a numbers game. Instead, I want to change minds. I want to help people think differently. I want to help my LGBTQ friends to use their difference to make a difference. I want people to engage in dialogue, even if that ends without an agreement, but with respect for each other’s value. That is where evolutionary change will happen – not through personal attacks, shaming, or bullying. Given how many people “communicate” in this way isn’t a reason to give up. I will continue to trudge through the obstacles in my way to get to the clearing of minds on the other side. I push buttons.

Living OUT Leadership Interview SeriesJeff Iovannone is an activist-scholar, writer, educator, and researcher from Buffalo, New York who holds a Ph.D. in American Studies and specializes in gender and LGBTQ studies. He is the creator of the blog Queer History for the People, a columnist for Th-Ink Queerly, a member of the Buffalo-Niagara LGBTQ History Project, and is a founding member of Body Liberated Buffalo, a volunteer-run activist and advocacy group that works for body liberation in Western New York.In this episode, we discuss the multitude of issues that create the “problem” of the idealized, perfect gay male body, and the affects of masculinity, toxic masculinity, capitalism, sex, and diet culture for many gay men.Snippets of insight from Jeff in this episode:“A preference is never just a preference. It is always political. Replace the term preference with a politics of desirability. Who and what we desire is not individual, is not solely personal, is not neutral, but is shaped by the context in which we live and therefore it has political implications. It is enacting and reinforcing larger systems of power and oppression.”“Research has shown that use of apps (like Grindr or Scruff) changes our neurobiology and predisposes us to objectify each other – particularly sexually objectify each other – and that has real-world consequences. The images and representations that people post online (shirtless selfies; workout selfies) are not merely representing reality, they’re actively constructing reality. They are teaching us to think about the world and other people in a particular way. They are creating what the norm is.”“If we’re choosing our leadership or only representing perspectives of a select few, more often than not that select group is going to frame the issues and do the work in terms of what most relates to their experience and the way that they see the world. If we’re defining representation and leadership on the basis of physical appearance that limits our political efficacy as a community; our ability to create change within politics and society because we don’t have multiple perspectives to draw from and therefore we have fewer tools to create change.”“When we’re talking about mainstream gay male culture and diet culture, they don’t just overlap or intersect, they are in fact one and the same.”Enjoy this deep-dive conversation into one of the more complex, yet interesting challenges that affect not only gay men but also the future of LGBTQ activism.Articles written by Jeffry Iovannone:We Need To Talk About Toxic Gay MasculinityThe Problem Guests: Icons, Objectification & LGBTQ ActivismWhy is There No Gay Men’s Body Liberation Movement?Pete Buttigieg is Not the Gay Candidate I WantFor further reference7 Beneath-the-Skin Thoughts For Gay Men to Love Their Body.Is Instagram to Blame for Gay Thirst Traps or Those Who Follow? LOP064.Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum on race and racism in society.The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf (refers to dieting as a political sedative)Header image: torbakhopper

Last week I was listening to Jonathan Van Ness’ podcast, Getting Curious (whom many of you might know from the Netflix show, Queer Eye). The episode, What is Toxic Stress & Why is She So Bad?, featured Dr. Caroline Leaf who’s a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology and a BSc in Logopedics and Audiology, specializing in metacognitive and cognitive neuropsychology.Where Does Toxic Stress Come From?Leaf describes how negative thinking – especially the same negative thought repeated over time – creates a toxic stress. For example, if you always criticize and judge your body every time you see it in the mirror, that negative thought creates “bad wiring” in your brain that affects the health of your body.What about the Toxic Stress of Homophobia?As an example, last year I began to feel physically tired and almost ill whenever I received a homophobia or hateful comment on my Medium publication, Th-Ink Queerly. The anger began to negatively affect my health and my relationship. In my emotionally frustrated state my creativity was completely blocked, which is the essence of my livelihood. I knew I had to change, because the situation itself wasn’t going to changeThe Importance of Being the Witness.How to observe your behaviour by “standing back” and learning how to change what you're feeling. Things that help with this process include regular meditation, becoming aware of your triggers, and practicing noticing. You can take this to another level by asking for help in the form of an “awareness buddy” or working with a coach.How can we think in ways that make for a physiologically healthy brain?You Think, You Feel, You Choose.You can't suppress an emotion like grief or anger. It doesn't go away. Instead, you need to acknowledge and express the emotion to deal with it over time. Yet you can re-wire your brain, even if you’ve been stuck in a pattern of negative thinking for a long time. Your brain and your thoughts are not who you are, and just like a habit, it takes time and consistency of practice to create new and healthier ways of thinking.Leaf’s 5-Step Process to “Switch on your Brain”AwarenessDeep analytical thinking.Write it downEditActionReferencesHow to Let Go of Being Right to Be Who You Are – LOP018Why the Stories of Your Past Are Not Who You Are – LOP020How Journaling Helps You Create What You Want in Life – LOP023Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030How to Manifest Your Dreams When They Seem Impossible – LOP045If Fear Is the Mind Killer What Is Its Opposite? LOP046What Holds You Back vs What Do You Want More? LOP062Being At Ease With Yourself – LOP067Your Relationship with Your Mind (the Ego) and the Other

You need to keep trying, no matter what.”How long should you try? Until." – Jim RohnJim Rohn never fails to say so much with so few words. What will it take for you to achieve your goals, be it your health, your business, or personal goals?But what if your goals involve LGBTQ equality, human rights, and absolute freedom from oppression and bigotry of any kind?It takes willpower, clarity of vision, determination, steadfastness, the ability to pick yourself right back up and continue when you "fall back", and finally, faith.Yes, faith, but I am not talking about religion or faith in a higher power.Instead I'm talking about faith as an unwavering belief that you will succeed, even if the goal seems inconceivable. The kind of faith that supports you when you don't know how to take the next step - you just do it anyway.Faith is a blindness through which you can see.How do you quantify faith? You can't. There is no measure for faith - you have it or you don't. But it's the quality of your faith that matters. You feed your faith with frequency and quality of practice, i.e. how often you take one more step on the path towards your goal. Your faith is your own, and no one can challenge it except you.I know this might be too metaphorical for some. So be it. When you are ready, you are ready. And when you are ready, you will make it happen.How often do you heard self-defeating statements from people around you like,"I can't do it alone.""I don't know what to do to make a difference.""That would be too hard to organize.""Someone else will do it. ""I don't have enough time to get involved."Every single one of those statements is a horrible excuse.When we make statements like the above we defeat ourselves - we defeat who we can become, who we are meant to be. We allow those, against whom we are fighting, to win. Heteronormative patriarchy is like a fortified wall surrounding a city. All we have at our disposal to bring down the wall are our words, our actions, our visibility, and our bare hands.The quality of your faith will determine how often you make excuses versus how often you take action to improve yourself and the world.Evolution Versus RevolutionRevolution is about change and is very different from evolution. Just as change and personal growth are two very different things. You can change any part of your life, but change alone might not lead to improvement. Personal growth is about the evolution of the self.When we seek to change the world for the better, a revolution will fall short of what we want and need. A revolution is seeking to create change, but to what end? By replacing one leader or one government with another? By enacting or striking down a law that translates into better lives for LGBTQ peoples?If all we do is change something, someone else can come along and change it back, or make it worse. The United States witnessed eight years of improvement under the Obama Administration that bettered the lives, rights, and equality for LGBTQ people.One simple change in government and much of what was changed for the better, is being taken away by Trump and the GOP.Evolution is about change for the better.You become something much more than you were before. It's not about changing clothes, jobs, or your home. This is about evolutionary transformation. The seed becomes a flower. The child becomes an adult. The caterpillar becomes the butterfly. These are visible, evolutionary changes we can observe over time and the type of change that does not go backwards.Time is what it will take for people to evolve.This is why we need faith to keep up our energy. We need to support one another so we can work together to make the kind of evolutionary change needed in this world where difference isn't perceived as a threat, where financial greed doesn't corrupt basic human decency and respect for human lives, and where religious ideologies no longer exist to reinforce exclusion, bigotry, oppression, murder, heteronormativity, and fanaticism.Have faith and get passionate about your rights and freedoms.Make a plan to take action. If you don't know what to do, ask for help. I don't have all the answers, but that’s why I publish my magazine, Th-Ink Queerly to provide a space for LGBTQ+ people to share their passion for improving humanity and eliminating prejudice. What I do on the Living OUT Podcast is to empathetically provoke critical thinking about what we perceive as “normal” to help create evolutionary change in the world. Evolution is a seed waiting to be planted. You have to have faith that the seed will take root, but you also have to water and feed it.

In the last episode I waxed nostalgic about, The Good Old Days of Meeting Men for Sex at Gay Bars – LOP054. Today’s episode picks up from where I left off, talking about the different challenges in communicating with someone on a dating app versus face-to-face in person.More and more I hear people complain about how rude people can be on dating apps. There’s abruptness, racism, ageism, femme-phobia, negativity, and arrogance. Unfortunately, this an issue we see on a lot of social media, and rudeness is not exclusive to dating apps.It doesn’t have to be this way. Even if technology is changing the way we behave before we have a chance to think, we can take a step back and ask ourselves how we would like to be treated. We don’t have to treat ourselves like a commodity, which gives others licence to treat us without respect.How to improve etiquette using internet personals and appsImagine having a polite, respectful, calm, playful, and free of expectations conversation with someone you find attractive and interesting on your favourite dating app.Seem implausible? It’s not, but it does require a conscious effort. It starts with how you handle yourself in a meaningful and helpful exchange of communication based on my,10 Principles to Communicate Better on Gay Dating AppsDid I miss a principle? Let me know in the comments, belowToday’s episode was inspired by a post I wrote last year on Th-Ink Queerly:10 Ways To Communicate Better on Gay Dating Apps

I was 19 years old and had been going out to gay bars for about six months. It was a warm summer night in 1985 as I leaned against a post by the dance floor, sipping my beer, enjoying the music, and watching the men – the beautiful, sweating, dancing, sexy men.He sauntered up to me with a grin that said ‘I want to taste you’. With a few pleasantries and names exchanged, he pressed himself against me and tried to tongue the pole behind my head through the back of my mouth. Not long after that we went back to his place where I spent the night fucking him.It was so much easier in the 80s, meeting men.Or at least it seems now that it was easier, or is it that I was easier?Before all the dating apps, before online dating websites, and even before telephone dating personals, there were the bars. So much has changed in the last 40 years when it comes to how we now meet new people – and not just for sex, and not only for gay men.In todays’s episode I talk about how online dating apps have commodified desire, allowing us to choice our “mate of the day” like we might order groceries or a pizza online. No more going out and meeting people in social situations. You can browse online from the comfort of your couch and simply “order in”. But what social graces have we lost, and how has online dating changed how we interact with others?Today’s episode is inspired by a post of the same name that I wrote last year on Th-Ink Queerly:https://medium.com/th-ink/the-good-old-days-of-meeting-men-for-sex-at-a-gay-bar-51f8299c68f3

Viewing the 1964 cartoon, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer through a queer lens.As a little boy I loved the classic Christmas cartoon, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. I must’ve watched it every Christmas as a child, then as a teenager, and almost every year since. Rudolph was my first queer role model and boy was he ever fierce!Rudolph showed a strength of character at a young age. He was unafraid to venture into the unknown and make friends with outcasts and mis-fits just like him.Recently, the classic cartoon has come under fire as being problematic.HuffPost tweeted,https://twitter.com/HuffPost/status/1067972666622189568What nonsense! Here’s why we can't jump to conclusions simply because one aspect of something larger appears problematic. We need to consider the entire message of the 1964 production within a larger societal and historical framework. We need to deconstruct Rudolph through a queer lens.The "outrage" is an example of people jumping to conclusions without taking the time for critical thought.The cartoon came out in 1964 and represents a solid document for the morals of the time. However, I believe there's a powerful message at work, one that promotes acceptance. This message is what people are missing when they only look at a single aspect of the cartoon: the masculine dominance and bulling presented by Santa and Donner, which was nothing short of "normal" in 1964.The world model presented in the cartoon is not the ideal model for a progressive, fully accepting society. If people believe that Rudolph should not be aired, then by the same logic every Hollywood movie from before the 1950s should be banned for sexism and racism.Listen to the complete episode to find out why Rudolph is an important role model for queers, and why it was such an inspiration in coming to terms with my sexuality.Here’s the post I published last year on Th-Ink Queerly:, Why Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer Was My First Queer Hero.