Of Mountains and Minds podcast

In this special bonus episode you can meet Jennie Agg. A talented writer, journalist and blogger, Jennie works primarily in women’s health, expertly informed by her own personal experiences. She has been through a torrent of loss in the past five years. Since enduring a miscarriage four years ago, just days before her 12-week scan, she has suffered three more devastating pregnancy losses. She had repeated reassurances that nothing was wrong and struggled to understand the why of it all. Jennie is a powerhouse of knowledge on recurrent miscarriage, and shares her honest perspectives, growth and struggles through her stunning blog, The Uterus Monologues. She also shines a light on the experiences of other women with their own miscarriage stories by curating guest monologues. As we recorded, in the depths of Covid-19 lockdown, Jennie was eight months pregnant with her fifth pregnancy and excitingly I can report that she gave birth to a beautiful little baby boy, Edward, in July. Both mama and son are thriving and healthy. Congratulations Jennie! We talk about everything from the lack of open conversation about trying to conceive and the isolation that can result, to the unintended consequences and fallout of people’s reactions to miscarriage. Thanks to Jennie to opening up about the detail of recurrent pregnancy loss, which is just the tip of the iceberg in her writing and awareness-raising, shifting us towards a more supportive, stigma-free culture.

Meet Jo Love this week, for the final episode in series seven. Jo is determined to shine more light on the all too common yet devastating challenge of post-natal depression, and advocates for more support for mothers going through it, as well as other still-stigmatised mental health conditions. Jo is an award-winning mental health campaigner, writer and speaker, standing up for the whole spectrum of mental illness that so many women struggle with through the major phases of life, especially motherhood. A former laywer, Jo worked in London for many years, living life at a whirlwind pace and slowly becoming affected by the aggression and stress in modern lifestyles. Jo has suffered with depression and OCD since she was young, and when she became a mother five years ago her mental health began to crumble dangerously, to the point she felt suicidal and began making plans to end her life. Jo tells us about how her OCD manifested, through dermitilomania, obsessive checking and compulsive, intrusive thoughts. A highly distressing and debilitating cocktail of conditions. With searing honesty, she shares what the darkest days of her post-natal depression were like, and what it took to start the road of recovery – which is far from linear and is a lifetime mission. We also explore the power of dismantling core beliefs stemming from childhood; the sanitisation of mental health and experiences that are still stigmatised and misunderstood; the loss of self that can manifest through motherhood; and recovering from the trappings of perfectionism.

Kevin Woods is no stranger to the hills and mountains. He’s fresh back from covering all 282 Munros in just 97 days, straight through the Scottish winter and as the Covid crisis spread like wildfire across the world. This was his fourth round of Munros, and he’s not yet 30. (If you’re not from these parts, Munros are mountains in Scotland over 3,000 feet high, some situated in deeply remote terrain). Kevin is a winter mountain leader and a true man of the mountains. He’s also a talented filmmaker and musician, and guides folk around mountain routes across Scotland when he’s not pursuing his own hardy ambitions in the hills. He’s an all-round open guy, his climbing led by a true and authentic love of these mountain environments rather than an ego-led pursuit of records. When we spoke, he was already planning his return to the hills after lockdown, just a few months after completing his fourth round. We got into a deep dive on what his intense three months in the mountains was like – the suffering, the joys, the solitude and the daily stresses and questioning as Covid hit. Kevin also gives his insight into the planning and logistics of a non-stop winter round; the brutality of the north west highland storms he fought through; the days he feared might be dealbreakers; his start in mountain leading; and his attitude to risk-taking and safety. Watch this space for the film Kevin is producing about his winter adventure!

Angela Samata became a widow at 32, after her partner Mark died by suicide. There were no warning signs that he was depressed or suicidal. After talking to him on the phone, Angela arrived home just 15 minutes later, opening the door to find he had taken his life. They were 15 minutes that turned Angela’s life upside down, and the life of their two young kids, transforming them into a family that had gone through one of the most seismic, extraordinary experiences. Having been the one to find Mark, Angela was also thrown immediately into a new lived experience with shock and trauma at its core. Since then, Angela has produced a sensational documentary with the BBC on suicide, meeting communities of people affected by suicide. She’s also developed a vital training programme to support learning on suicide prevention; a short 20-minute guide on what to do if someone you know is feeling suicidal. All in the show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com. Please watch, share and pass on to whoever you can, especially those supporting people with depression or other mental illness. Angela is infectiously passionate about many things. She’s a mental health campaigner, sharing her reality of suicide with the media, various committees and NGOs to bring about change. She’s also immersed in the art world, working with galleries such as Tate Liverpool. As if this wasn’t enough, she’s a star sourdough baker, check out her amazing creations on Instagram! As well as her own very personal experience of grief, trauma and learning, we got into a deep dive on the practice of quality listening; the learning that emerged from filming her BBC documentary; supporting children and young people to express their grief; and the need for more action and change around the issue of female suicide.

Welcome to a conversation with truthteller, adventure seeker, ultra runner, Ironman athlete and Dad Freddie Bennett. We got together for this chat in the middle of the COVID-19 crisis. A time when Freddie was home teaching his kids, working and supporting his wife (a doctor). So thank you Freddie and family for giving up 90 minutes. This is a conversation about what can take root in the mind as a result of stress as a child and the legacy it can leave inside as an adult. Freddie was born with severe asthma and regularly rushed to intensive care. He was protected in a bubble and felt apart from his classmates. At home, life was often fraught with conflict, heavy drinking, discontent and a sense of instability; Freddie often felt the storm cloud of arguments brewing, before chaos ensued. Here, he openly shares a frank insight into his younger years, and how the legacy of stress tracked into his early career, where he sought stability and money to escape the chaos of childhood. But through his years in management consulting he was gripped by imposter syndrome, feeling constantly like a fish out of water, gasping for breath and belonging. He realised he had one talent – drinking. Freddie doused his insecurities in alcohol, drinking to feel part of the team. He became known as a legend and felt a belonging. Yet internally, “fun time Freddie” became crippled with anxiety and paranoia, which he buried deep within himself. A pattern of life that led to dates with deep depression and contemplation of suicide. Freddie also tells us about the reality of his life in lockdown; what his rock bottoms looked like; the difficulties of asking for mental health help the second, third and fourth time round; the transformation in his life from giving up alcohol; and his 2021 endurance plans. Thank you Freddie for teaching us about your life.

Let me introduce you to Dave Chawner. Dave is a legend in my eyes after our conversation. He’s a best selling author (Weight Expectations: One Man’s Recovery from Anorexia), award winning comic and mental health campaigner, who manages to bring upbeat vibes and humour into conversations about serious life challenges. We got together (remotely) deep in the COVID-19 lockdown to talk grief, mental wellbeing, eating disorders, recovery and writing. Dave shared a little about the life experiences that have shaped his mindset today. In his late teens he fell into the grips of anorexia, although it took many more years to accept support and acknowledge he was ill. It was fascinating to hear his refreshing perspectives on discovering actionable new coping mechanisms, long-term recovery and a heap more. He’s truly a shining light when talking about such serious issues, championing brutal honesty, real talk and empowerment in recovery. We also explored the culture of congratulation on weight loss and appearance in our western world, the surprising gifts taking root after an eating disorder and the guilt that can accompany them, and the painful process of writing his book. This guy is supremely funny and warm and I’d recommend you all to go check his writing and comedy out through the show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com.

In this week’s episode we are talking grief, trauma, terrifying experiences in the Sri Lankan jungle, PTSD, life in conflict zones and the unusual experience of lockdown on a small island. Meet my friend John Drake. We went to school together on the Isle of Mull on the west coast of Scotland; hung out as unsure teens. John is a wonder; one of the most intelligent people I know, and also kind, empathetic and self-deprecating, with a wicked sense of humour. Since we left school, John has lived a lot of life. After studying Politics and Arabic, he settled in London working with ex-SAS guys and intelligence analysts, before becoming a Head of Intelligence. He travelled from conflict zone to conflict zone, and spent extended periods of time in locked-down countries such as Iraq. During his university years, he spent time in the Sri Lankan jungle during the civil war, where he was attacked by an aggressive elephant that had killed six villagers, a sad result of human communities encroaching on wildlife habitat. John developed PTSD after this terrifying experience, a legacy that would stay with him for years. Then, five years ago, John lost his Dad suddenly and traumatically and was thrown into a new normal, grief characterising his every day, coupled with a resurgence of PTSD. We got into a conversation on grief and life that felt more like a chat over coffee than a recorded podcast. John shared his perspectives, with a good slice of humour thrown in, about everything from lockdown life, martini-making and sea baths on a small island to the trauma of his Dad's death and the immeasurable importance of talking therapies and CBT. Please share with others in your world.

In this episode you get to meet Rachel Kelly. Rachel has a boat load of experience in depression and finding her way out through multiple strategies, from good nutrition and "mood food" to writing, poetry and breathing practice. She is a bestselling author of four books, a public speaker and a mental health campaigner, working with charities such as Rethink Mental Illness and SANE. Rachel has developed a vast knowledge of the science of depression and mental illness, from the role of our neuro transmitters to the powerful mind-body connection. She shares her unique and hard-fought methods for staying calm and mentally well as we talk about life during lockdown and what it’s meant for her. We travel back to 1997, when Rachel was knee-deep in a high-stress job in the newsroom of The Times, working all hours on deadline after deadline to please editors. We hear about her sudden depressive break, during which she felt so unwell that suicidal feelings crept into her mind and she was left screaming in pain. In the 90s, depression was a misunderstood stigma, and Rachel tells us what speaking up and accessing help was like, as well as the self-care strategies she has devised over the years to help manage stresses and triggers. Rachel is a bright light of knowledge and sound, actionable advice for those working on staying mentally well. Her latest book ‘Singing in the Rain: An inspirational workbook’ could not be more relevant to the time of global crisis we're living through - go check it out.

Welcome to a conversation with the incredible Chris Bombardier. Chris was born with a severe form of haemophilia, one of a variety of bleeding disorders affecting people around the world. Growing up in the back garden of the mountains, in the mile-high city of Denver, Colorado, Chris did not let his condition hold him back from his passions. From a young age he played baseball and threw himself into skiing, ski mountaineering, rock climbing and mountaineering. Yet being born in a developed country with access to good healthcare doesn’t mean it's been an easy ride. Staying healthy involves a constant onslaught of infusions and regular bleeds, sometimes involving hospitalisation and always involving pain. Chris also has a needle phobia, which adds another layer of struggle when it comes to his treatment needs. Through the years he’s battled with depression which is rooted in feeling different from others, and meeting other communities of people living with bleeding disorders has helped him move past this. Inspirationally, Chris took his love of mountaineering to new heights, quite literally, when he decided to climb all Seven Summits, starting with Kilimanjaro in 2011 and culminating in a gruelling expedition to the roof of the world, Everest, in 2019. Driving his achievements in the mountains is the singular hope to raise more awareness for others around the world who were not so fortunate in the postcode lottery; those born with bleeding disorders in countries like India and Nepal, who face the fate of misdiagnosis, disability or death due to a lack of essential healthcare and medication. Chris tells us about the impacts of haemophilia on his life and mental health; the medical care required; his love for the outdoors and self-sufficiency; the challenges developing countries face in treatment for bleeding disorders; the greatest difficulties and joys of the Seven Summits; and how haemophilia actually helps him in the mountains. We also talk about the work of his Foundation, Save One Life, in developing countries, and what it's been like to be in a spotlight of profile from time to time. Thank you Chris for helping us learn about this. Please watch out later in 2020 for his Everest documentary, Bombardier Blood.

Meet Rebecca Rusch. Someone who has used her own life experiences to drive positive change in the world. Rebecca lives in a beautiful mountain town in Idaho. The outdoor world is her church. A multiple world champion and master of many sports, from mountain biking to white-water rafting, adventure racing and climbing, Rebecca was crowned the Queen of Pain by Adventure Sports magazine and was also in Outside Magazine's top 20 female athletes. Put simply, she’s a pro at suffering. Yet Rebecca is also a human being who, like all of us, struggles to get out the door for a ride or run some days. She puts herself out there in brutally tough races, and faces up to challenges and dilemmas shared by endurance athletes, whether its navigation or fighting through adverse weather. Her “why” is not to win at all costs, but a much deeper exploration of self and connection. Rebecca is a writer of beautiful stories about her lived experience; including through her memoir, Rusch to Glory, and a brilliant TEDx talk. Last year, she launched an award-winning documentary film called Blood Road, which follows her 1,200 mile journey deep into the jungles of Vietnam and Laos, along a trail littered with unexploded bombs, to find the spot where her father was shot down in the Vietnam War. Our conversation covers goal-setting during Covid-19 lockdown, self-compassion in racing, Rebecca's pre-lockdown experience at the Iditarod Trail Invitational, her evolving relationship with suffering, those life-changing days on the Ho Chi Minh trail, grief and finding new purpose from her father's death, through her Foundation.

Welcome to the seventh series! My first guest is Natalie Aitken. Natalie is a medic from here in Scotland who is currently exploring how to share her story more and speak up for the health issues that need more spotlight. In 2019, in her 30s, she lost her husband John to bile duct cancer, a rare and often incurable cancer. Our conversation reflected on many of Natalie's experiences through her husband's cancer, as well as the lasting impact of three rounds of IVF and her professional perspective on the Covid-19 pandemic. Natalie also shared the raw specifics of the challenges of being a medic with a seriously ill partner; how she has learnt to live with uncertainty and its transferability to stresses such as Covid-19; unexpectedly discovering she had fertility issues; the hope/disappointment cycle of both IVF and cancer; the need to commit to the hard work of grief processing; and the pressures facing the NHS through the Covid-19 emergency. Thank you Natalie for joining me and talking so openly about it all. Please forgive the less than perfect audio, this episode was recorded over Skype at home due to the need to isolate.

We may think we have control of our health. We can keep our bodies aerobically fit, eat a rainbow of nutrition every day, stay connected socially, meditate. But perhaps being in total control of our health is an illusion. I’m not suggesting we should live in a constant state of health anxiety, but maybe we should also think about the illusion of control in our lives. Maybe it will even help us live in the moment. Today we meet Olly Stephenson; a runner, adventure-seeker, climber, Dad and husband. Olly has endured an extreme adventure or three; climbing El Capitan (yes, the one Alex Honnold free solo’d), cycling across the US on a tandem and finishing the PTL twice amongst a long list of achievements outdoors. Over the past few years, he’s been through a challenge many times more extreme, painful and traumatic than anything he’s chosen to take on outdoors; a cancer called follicular Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Olly was told it was treatable, not curable. He learned he had a 16cm tumour stretching across his abdomen, which was encroaching on his kidneys - close to causing irreparable damage. Olly’s also one of the fittest, healthiest guys I’ve met. Low heart rate, vegetarian, supremely fit, well-connected socially and with a strong, happy family support network. His journey over the next year through chemo and several near-death experiences tested him in every way. Through the dark days, weeks and months he rarely had the chance to consciously choose to leverage skills from his life on the trails and rock walls; most of the time it was all he could do to endure and survive. The chemo drugs were nuclear grade, the side effects nightmarish, the needle phobia ever present. This may sound like a story full of trauma and struggle, and it partly is, but it’s also an uplifting tribute to the power of being mindful and grateful every day, a lesson on letting go of some control and seizing what is most important to us. We talked about the endurance adventures that took Olly most inner strength to complete; his diagnosis story; perspectives on denial and acceptance; surviving the chemo and near-death experiences; what to say to people with cancer; and the gifts that grew out of trauma. Happily, Olly reports that life is back to being pretty amazing these days, since he finished treatment in 2019. He’s back to fitness and enjoying all of the life things he did before his diagnosis, from running in the hills to quality time and travels with friends and family. Show Olly some love on social if you enjoy this episode and why not share it in a tweet or story with those in your community.

In this episode you'll meet Graham Connelly. Those in the Scottish running community might know Graham, he runs fast and is deep in the fold of Team Pyllon (led by previous podcast guest Paul Giblin). Graham is an engineer, a pro at fixing machines. But at 35, he suffered a breakdown and the wheels flew off his machine. He’d taken on big things at work and willingly sacrificed relationships and relaxation. He couldn’t sit still. He expected great things of himself and others in his life, continually. With anxiety disorder and self-imposed work pressures he stopped sleeping well, which slammed his body chemistry and gradually rage crept into his every day. He lived up to the stereotype of being a man, internalising his anxiety, manning up on the outside as things fell apart on the inside. Graham tells us stories from this time in his life; how he began to wake up to mental health and take ownership for his life, reactions and behaviour. He shares the actionable steps that he took as a guy living in the west of Scotland to look after his mental health and relationships, and the maintenance he still has to prioritise today. We also talk about the role he played in the recent Pyllon Endeavor 2, a 540 mile run down the length of Scotland in the heart of winter. Please give Graham a shout out on social to show him your love, and check out Of Mountains and Minds on Patreon.

This week I'm launching a special bonus episode with my significant other person Duncan McArthur, talking about anxiety, depression, career change and of course Covid-19. I’m also giving a bunch of shout out’s to a range of incredible independent businesses in need of your online love. There are many purveyors of delicious foodie products and other goodies that will brighten up your isolation station. This is coming at you from home, recorded on the little Zoom H1, so excuse the lack of professional studio quality but I can't get to the studio right now. More about Duncan. A geophysicist by training, Duncan worked offshore on a survey boat in the oil and gas industry for years, travelling the world from Africa to Asia and Europe. After a tough time with his mental health in the latter years he chose to take a year off, focusing on his wellbeing and throwing himself into painting, nature study, running and mountain leader qualifications. A few qualities strike me most. Duncan is someone who is true to himself and honest through and through. A selfless, generous friend, there for his people. He’s a ridiculously funny guy, making me laugh every day. So funny that when we first met I questioned how someone with such a sense of fun emitting from them could ever fall into depression and anxiety. Which is exactly why we should never judge and know that most people are fighting internal battles of some form or another, even if they appear fine on the outside. Duncan sat down with me in our quarantine nest to talk about the dark times in his life, career change, staying well and Covid-19.

This week, you’ll meet the amazing advocate Bethany Yeiser. Writer, speaker and activist in the movement to demystify schizophrenia. Bethany grew up an academic child in a middle-class household, a scholarship winner and a top violinist who loved learning, travelling and music. Yet she still developed the condition; a medical reality that was hidden from her consciousness. It led to years of homelessness, institutionalisation and prison. Bethany was told she was permanently and totally disabled, until finding the right medication. She was able to re-connect with her family, access effective treatment and build a new normal. She has not relapsed since. Bethany is living proof that this misunderstood condition is not a life sentence and is not always triggered by experimenting with mind-altering drugs. Bethany tells us about what happened to her, the reality of life on the streets, how she managed to rebuild her life and the myths around this condition that we should all know more about.

As a bereaved parent, your grief travels with you. Tracy Watt knows this unique loss well. 29 years ago she lost her son, Lewis, just hours after being told he had life-limiting disabilities and would not survive the birth. Yet he did, and she had 19 hours with him. Tracy shares her story, from pregnancy to the labour and leaving hospital without her son. She talks about the unique nature of the grief for losing a baby at birth; the acceptance process; what to say and not to say to families who are bereaved in this way; finding fitness as therapy; becoming a marathon runner and her very personal journey to talking openly about Lewis and her grief. She shares how she used other crutches beforehand, such as smoking, alcohol and self-neglect, to dull the feelings of anger, sadness and loss. We also get into Tracy’s huge new running goals for 2020, which involve the most awesome 53-mile Highland Fling race! Please consider giving this episode a share on your favourite social channel.

When you grow up in a world where gay is a synonym for bad, and men who show a feminine attribute are mocked, it’s easy to unwittingly internalise these feelings. Meet James Finn. He’s a novelist, columnist and LGBT activist living in the US and making change through his writing, mentoring and activism. James grew up the son of a preacher in a conservative community in the US. By the age of 10 or 11 he knew he was different. His local church had just embarked on an anti-gay campaign and one Sunday, as James was sitting listening to the sermon, he realised the minister was talking about people who felt like him, like his particular form of different. A terrifying and isolating experience that James now sees led to psychological damage. James has collected some fascinating life experiences and stories. He worked as a machine gunner in the Marine Corps and for the intelligence division of the Air Force in Berlin during the Cold War. He also worked in the sex trade, selling himself in the bars of New York, which he recently wrote about publicly for the first time. His years supporting those suffering with HIV and AIDS through the height of the epidemic shaped his life in a way that can’t be overstated. His activism started here; and now extends to many other issues and stigmas affecting LGBT communities around the world. We talked about James’ youth, coming out, writing, activism, time in the military and perspectives on the sex trade, plus internalised homophobia and the shame this can spark internally. We also get into what is happening with LGBTQ rights in the US and around the world, which issues need more support and more political will. Show James a big dose of love on social if you enjoy our conversation and why not share it in a tweet or story with those in your community.

Meet Henry Fraser, an incredible young man with a powerful first-hand experience of weathering the extreme challenges life can throw our way. At the age of 17 Henry, with his fitness, friends and future ahead of him, went for a swim one day in Portugal, on a post-exam celebration holiday with his school friends. Diving into shallow waters, he severed his spinal chord and was paralysed permanently from the shoulders down. Six months in hospital, with much of this time spent ventilated and unable to move at all, he was left questioning what lay ahead, what he could look forward to, how he could live in such an altered state. Today, he’s adapted to paralysed life - far from a linear process, with constant challenges to face – and the mindset and belief systems he's carved for himself are truly inspirational, lessons for us all. Henry has also shaped a surprising career as a mouth artist, teaching himself to paint beautiful figurative paintings with a brush in his mouth. He’s proof we never know what is around the next corner, yet we are equipped to withstand far more than we give ourselves credit for. In his own words, Henry may have lost his physicality but he has shifted his strength to his mind after years of perceiving his only source of strength to be his body. We talk about Henry’s life before the accident; what his time in hospital felt like mentally and physically; his approach to mindfulness and staying mentally healthy today; the joys and challenges in his day-to-day; how his work as a mouth artist has evolved; and what constitutes therapy for him. Enjoy the words of this amazing human being and please share with others in your world.

Jayne Nisbet is a pro athlete and fellow Scot who placed tenth in the Commonwealth Games 2014 in high jump. Jayne is a passionate voice for recovery from eating disorders, having struggled for years with anorexia and bulimia as a direct result of the pressures and judgement that professional sport can bring. She has since spoken out in national media about her journey through this, and her associated experiences with depression and anxiety. Addressing her demons and seeking external help to get to the root of these struggles was not linear and certainly not easy, but today Jayne can say she has found freedom. Named Scottish Women in Sports Role Model of the Year in 2017, Jayne is now a coach, author, blogger and public speaker in London. We get into her start in athletics; teen training and the first pressures she felt; her mental and physical health unravelling whist at Loughborough High Performance Training Camp; fighting to access the help she needed; and finally receiving meaningful psychotherapy (privately). Jayne also gives her hard-won opinion on full but mindful recovery, the similarities between eating disorders and addictions and her ethics on rest and recovery in training. What a woman. Go check out her show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com and give her a shout out on social if this brings something to your day. Finally, Of Mountains and Minds is now on Patreon and I'm in need of your help to keep this content coming. It's proving a fabulous listener forum for bringing the audience together - we have discussion, feedback and access to ‘Behind the Mic’ content and other goodies. Sign up for just the price of a coffee each month!

Meet Paul Shepherd everyone. A guy who has been through the darkest times with depression, alcohol and drugs but lived through it, a guy who is facing his demons and telling his story. After feeling three years ago like there was no other option in his life other than to end it, Paul has come a long way. He’d been struggling with a lifestyle in which he was constantly exhausted with night shifts and medicating with alcohol and drugs, and one January night in 2017 he waded into the freezing British sea with the intention never to return. Paul’s story was featured in Outrunning the Demons, the collection of survival stories by former podcast guest Phil Hewitt. Paul’s now a running mentor for the incredible charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and is determined to help others feel there is another option out there, that they can feel connected to the world again. In the UK every day 12 men under the age of 45 take their own lives – a truly shocking statistic. If you know anyone who you suspect might be struggling hard, ask questions, be there regularly and share the work of CALM. Please share this episode too and check out Paul’s hashtag #someonecares.

What does home mean to you? Sarah Outen and adventure film producer Jen Randall have captured what it can mean for a round-the-world adventurer in their beautiful film, Home. It follows Sarah’s four-and-a-half year journey around our planet by rowing boat, kayak and bike, charting both her joys and the darkest corners. Sarah has been a hero of mine for years and I was honoured to sit down with her and talk about trauma, confidence, purpose, vulnerability and her new venture into psychotherapy training. Sarah was severely affected by a tropical storm that left her clinging on to her boat for three days before rescue, subsequently developing PTSD and a deep depression in the months after, conditions that stole her sleep and wreaked flashbacks and terrors. With quality therapy she is recovering - and returned to close the loop of her incredible journey - but it has been far from a linear process. She spoke to me about her breakdowns in 2016 and 2018, and how she has opened up about her mental health experiences by degrees, as well as what it’s been like to reckon with being vulnerable on film. We also discuss how her first expedition - a solo and record-breaking row across the Indian Ocean - helped her begin to process grief from losing her dad. This was one of the hardest edits I’ve had to do since starting the podcast; there was interference over the line that was super tough to fix. You will hear some of this, but I hope it doesn’t detract from Sarah’s inspirational story. She is such a warm, down to earth and calm soul and I love her approach to life. You can download Home (soon!) or find a screening through the website. Sarah's also written a book, Dare to Do, charting the raw realities of her adventures, including her terrifying experience in the Pacific. Please show her some love on social and share this story.

**A BEFORE AND AFTER CONVERSATION WITH RICHARD BOWLES** Who is Richard Bowles I hear you ask? A Brit living in Australia and an inquisitive endurance adventurer with a few world records to his name. Although he grew up in Leicester, Richard has lived in Australia for many years and was the first person to run the longest multi-use marked trail in the world; Australia’s Bicentennial National Trail. This trail is a monster 5,330 km along Australia’s Great Dividing Mountain Range, and Richard made it through the rugged wilderness in just five months, after crossing crocodile-infested rivers and coming face-to-face with a gun-wielding farmer. He's also run the length of Te Araroa in New Zealand, Israel’s National Trail and around the base of an erupting volcano in Indonesia, after the Government evacuated 80,000 people. Right at the tail end of 2019 Richard took on something different. He left for Calcutta in India, to live on the streets as a rickshaw wallah, mirroring their daily working lives of extreme poverty. Hauling people and goods for 18 hours a day in the heat and the rain, he lived on $2.00 a day and learnt first-hand about the lives of the wallahs. This episode is a before and after with Richard; we talked in late 2019 before he set off for Calcutta and picked the conversation back up in January 2020 once he’d returned and had time to reflect. We get into Richard's mindset on adventure and endurance, the comfort zone, fear and risk, how he gets up on stage repeatedly to speak publicly, reflections on India and what it's like to live in Melbourne during the bush fire crisis in Australia. Be sure to check out the blog post on ofmountainsandminds.com for more on Richard and the show notes on our conversation. If you enjoyed the episode and others, I'd love to welcome you into the Patreon community, where you can access bonus episodes and other goodies whilst supporting the essential production costs to keep the project going. Thanks & much love xo

Happy holidays folks! A few weeks back I recorded a special between-season catch up with now three-time guest Gayle Tait, fresh from her mad adventure at UTMB Oman last month. Gayle doesn’t need much intro if you’ve listened before but this ultra running mama is a force in the mountains and an amazing advocate for the power of speaking up. She’s been open about some life-changing mental health experiences (check out episode 25 for more on that). Gayle just got back from running and finishing the brutally technical UTMB Oman, after a difficult DNF at UTMB in Chamonix this summer. She takes us back to Oman with her, enlightening us on the trails, conditions, environment, importance of pre-race expectations and head space, the most difficult moments and just the physicality of the whole weekend, plus her experience with post-adventure blues. Enjoy and please show Gayle your love with a share, rating or little IG story. If you're keen on more bonus content go check out the Of Mountains and Minds page on Patreon, where you can sign up for just $5 per month and access behind the scenes episodes. And watch this space for series six, coming your way early in 2020.

Karen Darke has been a hero of mine for years. Paralympic athlete, gold medal winner, adventurer, author, hypnotherapist and student of all things sports psychology and therapy. 26 years after the accident on sea cliffs in Aberdeen that paralysed Karen from the chest down, she has climbed El Capitan, sit-skied across Greenland, won a gold in the Rio Paralympics and taken herself off on adventure after adventure. I caught her just after finishing the Camino de Santiago and World Championships, where she lost her place on the British Cycling team. We talked about her experience at Rio, her vast knowledge of sports psychology and brain training, getting injured in the immediate weeks before, the highs and lows of her decade of competing on the team, investing in learning, becoming a teacher and her memories of the accident that paralysed her, the grieving, acceptance and gratitude processes she's navigated since. process of grief and acceptance and her experience of visiting a spirit guide healer in Brazil. Karen's approach to life inspires me even more after speaking to her; not because she manages to pull off adventures and expeditions with paralysis, but rather her curiosity and fascination with exploring new corners of her mind and a life of learning.

In the US today, opioids kill more people than car accidents and gun violence. In 2017, more individuals died from an opioid overdose than at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Meet Travis Rieder, an incredible academic, bioethicist, author and TEDx speaker. Travis has come face to face with the reasons behind the crisis of opioid dependence and addiction in the US, which as we live and breathe today, is reaching into many other corners of the world. After a debilitating motorbike accident in which he nearly lost his foot, Travis developed a dependence on oxycodone and his world changed. He talked to me about this was like and the shocking trauma of withdrawal; the horrendous physical illness he endured for no less than 29 days and the crushing depression that sidelined him and drove him to suicidal thoughts. At the time he had an idyllic life - a happy marriage, baby daughter and successful career at one of America’s most respected academic institutions - and he was still almost destroyed mentally and physically by this dependence. Once he gained some distance from the trauma of withdrawal he was able to start sharing his experience, the crippling lows and the lack of medical support. The guidance he has put out there for others through his TED talk, writing, research, policy and public education is a wonder. In this episode we get into the detail of Travis’s experience with opioids, and he helps educate me about the difference between dependence and addiction as well as the areas of change so desperately needed in the US medical care system. Please share with anyone who might benefit and check out the blog post on Travis ofmountainsandminds.com, which has all the show notes.

In this episode you'll meet Phil Hewitt. Phil is a journalist, marathon runner and author (11 books and counting!) living in Hampshire. In 2016 he suffered a sudden and violent attack in South Africa. His life was nearly taken by the perpetrator, yet saved by a stranger. He struggled to come to terms with the tidal wave of trauma in the months after, his mind awash with unanswered questions and unable to sleep. Over time he has started to process this trauma and begin to accept, managing to transform parts of the experience into gifts that have expanded his consciousness, relationships and connection with others. Running has played a starring role in his recovery and he recently wrote an inspirational book - Outrunning the Demons - which draws together a collection of stories from others who have been through traumas and found healing through running, as well as his own account. Phil is living proof that we don’t know how strong we are until we have to go through something like this, and we can face our internal demons without hating humanity. Please share Phil's story with anyone in your life who may have been through a trauma. A quick warning that this episode includes a description of violence.

Meet Elspeth Berry. I know Elspeth through the Scottish running community and she has certainly pushed herself to run over the past decade. Elspeth is a talented freelance musician and athlete living in the west of Scotland. Over the past 7 years she’s taken her drive to run and explore to another level of endurance, fuelled by a love of the outdoors and motivated to raise funds by tragic diagnoses in her family. Elspeth has run the 95-mile West Highland Way Race and many other ultras, and completed some monster self-styled adventures such as the Watershed, where she ran the entire 1,100km spine of Scotland's watershed, across over 40 munros and brutally unsociable terrain. This summer, she also ran the 450km Kungsleden trail through Swedish Lapland - a wild environment of bog, bridges, lake crossings and mosquitoes. Elspeth’s family have been through a lot since 2012, experiencing a stroke and Parkinson’s disease and all the changes in autonomy and caring roles that come with these devastating conditions. We dive into the detail of Elspeth's experiences with change, acceptance, anxiety, self-belief and adventure, and reflect on how such difficult times can also build momentum for more positive changes in life.

Meet Jamie Ramsay. Professional adventurer who has travelled over 30,000 self-powered kilometres. From a fast-paced, high-stress corporate career in London to a pared-down existence in rural France peppered with expeditions all over the world – cycling across Australia to running from Canada to Argentina – he’s listened to himself and steered a new path for his life. He tells us about the honest every day and the constant trade off with such a routine-free life; the great joys, the freedoms, the battles with motivation, a drive that is often fuelled by negative emotions; the relationship compromises, the work. Yes, the work – as this is a job and an income as well as solo-powered travel across countries. This week Jamie is heading to Madagascar -a country he has always dreamt of exploring. He’s running across the country, over 50 marathons back-to-back (he doesn’t like rest days) checking out the coast as he goes and dropping into the ocean for a dive or two. You can follow his progress on the tracker - check out the blog post on ofmountainsandminds.com for all show notes and links.

Tim Lambert is a good friend of mine with a fascinating story of life change, challenge and transformation. I knew him first as a selfless contributor to the ultra community, when he got in touch to share gold dust advice about running Western States, after he'd crewed on the course twice. Tim is as passionate about the sport of ultra as I've ever encountered, yet not too many years ago he was a chain-smoking, heavy-drinking city kid, to whom running a mile seemed madness. After reading about Western States in the newspaper, Tim began to run and it stuck. Since then he has run various 100 milers and this year, after six years of trying, he finally stood on the start line of the iconic Western States in California. Sadly, however, after unexpected health issues this year Tim's race didn't go to plan - and we talk about dealing with a DNF in a race with such huge personal expectations attached to it. Tim is also the founder of a new fitness brand, Rockstar Sport, and we get into the highs and lows of starting a business, as well as Tim's ongoing struggle with anxiety and his health journey over the past year.

Today we hear from my acupuncturist, Hannah Swift. After a debilitating experience with chronic fatigue in her younger years, Hannah found the strength to change her career path to train as an acupuncturist. She is now an incredibly talented practitioner with a wealth of experience in the power of this practice for recovery from a world of physical, emotional and mental struggles and conditions. She tells us about her back story, how she came to find out about acupuncture and a bit more about what it involves and what it can achieve for people. If you don’t know or haven’t experienced it – prepare to have your mind blown! We recorded in Hannah’s treatment rooms before my treatment for a broken collarbone so please forgive the home-based audio. A final note: I had to challenge my own perceptions of Chinese medicine and work to keep an open mind – my knowledge of it coming from a background working in conservation charities and hearing about the dark side; the illogical, non-science based use of endangered animals in some Chinese medicine practices. I'm happy to say that I've now filed acupuncture in a very different part of my mind. I’ve felt its value in my own recovery from the collarbone break and achilles injury and understand it is far from an unethical practice using animal parts or anything else unsustainably. In fact, it uses natural plants like mugwort in its moxa technique, which is plentiful, sustainable and one of the most relaxing treatments I've ever had.

Rachel Cullen is a writer, runner, mother and all round advocate of the power of mindful movement for recovery from mental and physical health issues. Many of you, especially the runners out there, will have heard of Rachel and possibly read her awesome book, Running for my Life. For years, Rachel’s life was chaotic and in her words, an endless cycle of disappointment. She suffered with bipolar disorder and was transported to some dark places through her illness. Then she became a mother, and went through the darkest time yet. She talked to me about the trajectory of her story - from childhood to tumultuous teen years - plus what bipolar feels like on the inside and how she manages it. Please share this episode with your own community and donate me a give-star rating on iTunes - takes just moments and helps me get these episodes out to a broader audience.

Welcome to series five! For our first episode, we have a special before and after on all things Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc (UTMB), with past guest Gayle Tait and myself as your hosts and guests rolled into one. I was excited for the opportunity to catch up with ultrarunning mama Gayle nine months or so after our first conversation (if you haven’t yet heard this, go check out episode 25). We dug into the difficult stuff last time; Gayle told us about her history with depression and PTSD, and an attempt she made to end her life in 2018. After everything Gayle has been through over the last couple of years, I was delighted she’d been able to make it injury-free to the start line in Chamonix. To give an insight into this monster trail race for those not in the know, UTMB is a 106-mile ultramarathon around the stunning Trail du Mont Blanc in the Alps. Over 2,000 runners. who have worked patiently to build up the entry points and get through the lottery system, leave Chamonix on a Friday evening, and most don’t return until Sunday. They traverse ten mountain passes, ascend over 10,000 metres – higher than Everest - and cross two borders into Italy and then Switzerland before closing the loop back into France. Gayle and I shared a three-day recce run around the course in early August, then caught up again in Chamonix before the race to talk race plans, preparations and fears. It was my third dance at the race and Gayle’s first. The audio is not perfect as we struggled to find quiet space in our apartments to record, so resorted to an outdoor greenspace – mostly quiet with the occasional helicopter circling overhead. Indicative of the circus that is Chamonix pre-race. Then we headed off into the mountains to make our UTMB 2019 memories, catching up a week after the race to relive our experiences. Enjoy!

I speak to the incredible Liz O’ Riordan. Liz is a consultant breast surgeon who has treated and supported women with breast cancer for 20 years. Several years ago Liz was diagnosed with breast cancer herself, at the age of 40. She has since been through surgery, chemo, radiotherapy, hormone therapy and a rare local re-occurence around a year ago. Liz is open to talking about the entire spectrum of her personal experience - at times excrutiatingly difficult - from the questioning of her femininity to the collateral damage of chemo, impact on relationships and sex and learning to accept and move forward without bitterness. Liz is also a triathlete and total warrior advocate for staying active and exercising - an approach now with proven scientific evidence of benefit for cancer patients. Enjoy our conversation and please share with anyone in your community who is affected by cancer.

Meet Jo Dyke, also known for her blog melanomajo.com. A diagnosis at the age of 18 with early stage Melanoma (skin cancer) led her down an unexpected path in life for her entire 20s. She has been through the works of cancer treatment - from major operations on her organs to chemotherapy and immunotherapy. At 23 she was told she was a stage four patient and had around 18 months to live, but nine years later after an incredibly successful immunotherapy treatment she is cancer free and trying to move on with her life. But how do you move forward after so much physical and mental trauma, trying to make life plans and live in the moment whilst facing the constant fear of re-occurance? Jo openly spoke about what life has been like over the past decade; the resulting PTSD she has suffered; the frustration of having to bypass decisions about relationships and having children; and which therapies have helped her improve her mental health. Jo is an incredible woman and I hope you will share her story with others.

We have featured several different mental health conditions on the podcast, and I feel ALL mental health struggles are important to shine a light on, but still some are much less socially acceptable to talk about and accept into our social circles than others. Schizophrenia seems to be one of these conditions, certainly in my understanding. One that people still associate with institutions, violent crime and assumptions that sufferers are not capable of living a normal life. Ashley Smith is breaking these perceptions down by her work as a writer, blogger and speaker in the US. In 2008 she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and after many years or treatment and medication has a lot to share about it. We talk about what her 'breaks' (hospitalisations) have felt like from her perspective, and triggers; how she is redefining recovery; the need for public advocacy; her learnt coping skills and recovery strategies; writing projects; and talking to her son and family about schizophrenia. Ashley is an incredible human being, please share her story.

Paula is an author, columnist, public speaker, radio presenter and adventurer. Since her youth she has dealt with crippling anxiety disorder, which saw her confining herself indoors and unable to communicate comfortably in the world. Through an incredibly unique approach she has found a way to manage her anxiety and do the things she has always been terrified of - in her own words turning her barriers into climbing frames. She is a force to be reckoned with and has proven to her own mind many times over she is ok in the world.

Isla is a pro mountain biker and cyclist with bags of life experience and wisdom beyond her 22 years. She was Scottish champion in both Mountain Bike and Cyclo-Cross for two years running before becoming Elite British Mountain Bike Series champion in 2016 and competing at the Commonwealth Games in 2018, placing an amazing 5th place. In a career best, she also placed fourth in the Mountain Bike World Cup last year. This girl is 22, people. More than her results, Isla has been through a lot for her age and has a quite impressive understanding that her self-worth is larger than her race results. Her racing career has not just brought highs but painful lows; two traumatic accidents, both involving a broken back and collarbone; struggles with PTSD and depression; and disordered eating and food restriction. Do check out the blog post and show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com, and Isla’s own writing. She is an amazing talent, a down to earth, very real athlete who has learnt a lot through her short years and is openly sharing her experiences.

This episode features my good friend Lucy Colquhoun. Many in the UK running community will know Lucy or have seen her name next to course records in ultramarathons. She is still the female record holder on the 95-mile long West Highland Way Race in Scotland, with a time of 17:16 which has stood for well over a decade. Lucy is most certainly not defined by her running though and this was a fascinating opportunity to learn more about her mindset on running and racing, what drives her in life, her mental health struggles, experience with counselling and our views on the tricky and all-consuming dynamics of friendships. We do also talk about what her record-breaking West Highland Way Race felt like and her daily life and training schedule at the peak of her racing. Lucy is an incredible woman and I am grateful for her openness and honesty. Check out the blog post and show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com.

In this episode we meet Sarah Williams. I said when I started the podcast I wanted to feature a whole variety of different life challenges, and unconventional career change was up there. Sarah is well known in the world of female adventuring – you may have heard her Tough Girl Podcast and if you haven’t go give it a listen. A blogger, vlogger, podcaster and motivational speaker who has chalked up a lengthy list of long-distance endurance adventures, from hiking the Appalachian trail in 100 days to finishing the Marathon des Sables and most recently cycling the Pacific Coast Highway and Baja Divide solo. Sarah talks to me about the process of realising her well-paid, secure career in London was not making her happy and how she finally transitioned to a more unconventional life. It was not clean cut and many years later she still struggles to finance a fully independent life. Yet she is making it work and was amazingly open with what this looks like today. We talk about the many sacrifices she has chosen to make; what remain the hardest struggles; how she finances her work and life; and what happened in her most recent adventure along the Pacific Coast and Baja Divide. Sarah is a positive force with bucketloads of passion for shining more light on women and empowering us to seize the day and take on that challenge we’ve been thinking about. Make sure you check out the blog and show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com.

Natalie, also known as This Vet Runs, her blogger alias, is a veterinary surgeon based in Nottingham. Just over a year ago she suffered a miscarriage following a surprise pregnancy. Natalie believes passionately that we should be able to talk more about this extremely common human experience, rather than hiding it away out of sight but dominating many minds behind closed doors, and perpetuating the stigma that persists in our 21st century society that its uncomfortable for women (and men) to talk openly about miscarriage. Natalie is a runner and recently ran the London marathon; she talks honestly about what transitioning to the sport has been like after struggling with eating disorders, and the role it now plays in her life and for her wellbeing. I loved talking to Nat, she's an inspiration in speaking up without being brought down by concern about what people will think - at work, in friendship and family groups - which I hope will help other women and men feel they can talk about their own experience with miscarriage if and when they feel the need to.

I met Jeri in 2017 after The North Face Endurance Challenge 50 mile in San Francisco. Jeri and her husband were so generous in hosting me in gorgeous Marin County and I got to learn a little about their lives. I had the opportunity to catch up with Jeri this spring, fresh from her finish at the American River. Jeri is an incredible athlete, a mother, grandmother, wife to another Jerry, former development director for a rainforest conservation NGO, consultant, coach and organic food business owner. She does a lot, and her enthusiasm for the outdoor and her lifestyle is infectious. And Jeri is 63. We talk about what life was like when Jeri dipped her toe in the water of triathlon in the early 80s; her time in Ironman, including nine races at the Kona World Ironman Championships; training and racing into her 60s; the origins of her drive and motivation; and balancing her commitment to sport with a demanding career in San Francisco and running a food business. There so many older people who are doing incredible things and have decades more perspective to share, and some damn good stories, but there is limited spotlight on their achievements. This isn't to say young people don’t have valid experience to share but it’s out of balance. Especially in running media, which largely focuses on young sponsored athletes at the top of their game. I hope you'll enjoy hearing all about this inspirational woman, and sharing her story with folks in your own circle.

In this episode we meet Ross Brannigan. A runner, writer and communicator wise well beyond his years, who has experienced an eating disorder as a young man. Ross is still just 23 years old but bursting with an impressive level of self-awareness, honesty and positivity about his experiences. He is able to reflect clearly on his anorexia, and we talk about what life was like in his mind when he was struggling hard with it, what helped him move forward and what recovery looks like for him today. Ross finds solace in hill running, all things outdoor and writing for his stunning blog, Up to Summit, which you should all check out.

There’s a lot to say about William Sichel. Talking to a guy with over 600 speed and distance records to his name means a lot of learning. William is an ultra distance athlete who at age 65 is still smashing boundaries in distances from 100k to 3,100 miles, whilst running a business on Orkney, being a dad and coaching other athletes in his hugely successful training strategies. Forgetting all facts or figures, he’s an amazing example of living a non conformist life and facing discomforts, and says himself he is learning to talk openly and become more emotionally literate. William sadly lost his wife to lung cancer 18 months ago, she survived just 24 days after diagnosis, and he candidly talks about this experience as well as the peaks and dark places of his astounding running career. Some brilliant advice in here for ultra runners and endurance athletes.

Fi Martynoga is some woman. An acclaimed Scottish author writing about our natural environment and wildlife, as well as a passionate environmentalist, museum researcher, mother and grandmother. Back in 2005 she created a unique venture for herself; to live self-sufficiently as if it were 1792, alone in a one-room outbuilding. Challenged to prove that an 18th-century diet was better than today’s, she recreated the lifestyle of Scottish ancestors, living from own produce and handcrafted resources. Fi has lived an eventful life, she lost her husband suddenly when he was just 46 and more recently has been through life-changing cancer treatment. We talk about all of these life experiences and Fi's no-nonsense approach is refreshing, with a stack of gold dust advice for life thrown in there. Hugely grateful to this incredible woman for making an exception to her avoidance of the internet and media to get online with me!

There is so much to say about Jen Scotney and we had a lot to talk about. Jen is a human rights lawyer, long distance runner, dog lover, vegan athlete and partner of pro ultra runner Marcus Scotney. Over and above all of the labels she is simply a cool and down to earth human; radically honest and modest in equal part and someone who faces up square to the hurdles of life. We talk not long after her second Spine Challenger race and hear the gritty reality of what nearly 40 hours on that tough trail was like. Jen’s brother and father both passed away within a five month period and we also talk about the reality of that experience from her perspective, her grief and how it has changed since. Jen has other wisdom to share too: how she balances a sometimes harrowing career as a human rights lawyer with training for ultras; the tricky relationship between self-worth and race results; the pitfalls of the Strava culture; and her own journey with anxiety, anaemia and chronic fatigue. Enjoy this and show Jen your love on social.

This is the second part of the super special episode with Giles Ruck and Gavin Bussey, two incredible guys who I am honoured to call friends. They joined me for a marathon conversation about their life-changing adventure at a monster multi-day event called the Petit Trot de Leon (PTL) last year, the big daddy of the Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc (UTMB) series. By the UTMB's design this is not a race but a run, and quite a run it is: 25,000 metres of ascent over a highly technical, alpine 300km route, with a 152hr time limit. We hear about the kind of preparation they did as well as the gritty details of how the days unfolded; the highs to some dark and vulnerable struggles. We hear about the sleep deprivation, calories consumed, staying strong through storms, teamwork tactics and what the experience has done for their friendship. Come listen in and show these amazing guys your love!

This is the first part of a super special episode with Giles Ruck and Gavin Bussey, two incredible guys who I am honoured to call friends. They joined me for a marathon conversation about their life-changing adventure at a monster multi-day event called the Petit Trot de Leon (PTL) last year, the big daddy of the Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc (UTMB) series. By the UTMB's design this is not a race but a run, and quite a run it is: 25,000 metres of ascent over a highly technical, alpine 300km route, with a 152hr time limit. We hear about the kind of preparation they did as well as the gritty details of how the days unfolded; the highs to some dark and vulnerable struggles. We hear about the sleep deprivation, calories consumed, staying strong through storms, teamwork tactics and what the experience has done for their friendship. Come listen in and show these amazing guys your love!

Introducing the amazing Liz Richardson. This one was such a treat to record as Liz is a great friend of mine here in Edinburgh. She is a talented athlete, immersed in the world of triathlon and racing at an international level, at distances from sprint to half ironman. In terms of improvement in the sport Liz has taken it to another level altogether. From struggling to finish her first races Liz had 5 overall podium wins and 3 age group wins last year, and qualified for the half ironman world championships in Nice this summer. As well as managing a serious training load Liz has been through some challenging life experiences in the past few years, including an ongoing relationship with depression and an unsuccessful IVF attempt after making the tough decision to try for a child on her own. I'm grateful to Liz for joining me to talk publicly and frankly about all of this, as they aren't easy subjects and feelings to dig into. Share in your circle of people to help get her story out there.

Jeni Rees-Jenkins everyone! Those in the Scottish running community will know this woman well, she is a positive force in our world and an impressive regular on the ultra racing scene. After a very tough time at school Jeni has suffered with depression on and off since her youth and over the past 7 years has been through a transformation in lifestyle and mental health. Becoming a teacher, taking up running, talking truthfully, learning to be mindful and experiencing a third world country are all part of her story. In 2016 she ran over 5,000km to raise over £5K for MND Scotland and also works selflessly as an ambassador for the Scottish Association for Mental Health, a guide leader and Duke of Edinburgh leader as well as her teaching work. Jeni also has two wonderful children and a husband and manages to balance family life with her other commitments. We get into the detail of what depression has been like for her, her younger years and struggles at university, discovering running and the role of teaching others in her life and for her own recovery.

You’re about to hear from the incredible Gayle Tait. Gayle and I know each other through the running 'family' here in Scotland, we met at her first ultra in 2013. Gayle is fiercely passionate about the trails and mountains and has completed races including the UTMB CCC, Mont Blanc 90km and Ultra Trail Monte Rosa. She is a mother of two and a P/T who has her own story with mental health issues, specifically depression and suicidal thoughts. She has also been battling a potentially game-changing knee injury and has been through the end of her marriage over the past year. We talk about what life has been like for Gayle since; what has helped and what she is working on. I can’t express enough how eye opening and refreshing it was to talk to Gayle. She has been through a huge amount but her story is not one of submission to a disease. It is one of strength and the value of living openly and vulnerably. Her words on social media and in our conversation send an important message to others; that we too can talk about the difficult feelings and thoughts on our insides, even if our outsides appear ‘normal’. Show her your love on social and pass this on to others in your world who might benefit.

Two for one in this episode! Those in the Scottish mountain biking and adventure community will know Andy and Aneela McKenna well, they are an inspiration for the advocacy they do around MS, biking, living honestly and our beautiful outdoors. They were featured in the beautiful film by Andy McCandlish, This Way Up, which has done the rounds at mountain film festivals like Kendal, giving insight into their lives as mountain bike guides with their company Go Where. 12 years ago, Andy was diagnosed with MS after two years of experiencing symptoms, getting tests and not understanding what was happening with his body. He’s been through quite a journey to develop new ways of living and working; far from an overnight process. Aneela is a positive force in the world of cycling, a diversity specialist for the Scottish Parliament as her ‘grown up job’ and a massive advocate for girls and women breaking through social norms to face fears and pick up a mountain bike - or any other kind of outdoors challenge. As this episode comes out Andy and Aneela have just launched This Way Up for public download, with a few very special offers, so go check their site out now, Stoked on MS.org.uk. There are still screenings happening in Scotland and the wider UK too. Go share!