Polycurious

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Non-monogamy may not be for everyone, but maybe you are curious about it. Could it be right for you? How do non-monogamous couples deal with jealousy? I was curious myself, and the more I asked, the more I became surprised by this unexplored topic. In Polycurious I take you along my journey as a Latina living in Brooklyn having casual and intimate conversations with non-monogamous couples, sex and relationship experts, friends and even people who tried polyamory and realized it wasn’t for them. This podcast is for the polycurious, whether you have explored non-monogamy or not.

Fernanda


    • Mar 20, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 56m AVG DURATION
    • 43 EPISODES

    4.9 from 71 ratings Listeners of Polycurious that love the show mention: self, insightful.


    Ivy Insights

    The Polycurious podcast is a truly remarkable listen that delves into the world of polyamory with a fresh and insightful approach. Hosted by a diverse panel of experts, this podcast explores the complexities and nuances of non-monogamous relationships, while offering practical advice and thought-provoking discussions. With its engaging structure, smooth flow of conversation, and emphasis on choice, self-empowerment, and learning, The Polycurious podcast stands out as a must-listen for individuals exploring or curious about polyamory.

    One of the best aspects of The Polycurious podcast is its ability to balance entertainment with valuable insights. Each episode feels like joining a group of close friends engaged in an intimate conversation. The hosts bring together different perspectives and experiences, creating a dynamic dialogue that keeps listeners engaged from start to finish. This interactive nature allows for deeper exploration of topics such as jealousy, communication, and boundaries within polyamorous relationships. By incorporating personal anecdotes and examples from real-life situations, the podcast bridges the gap between theory and practice.

    Another commendable aspect of this podcast is its focus on choice, self-empowerment, and learning. Rather than simply discussing the mechanics or logistics of polyamory, The Polycurious podcast acknowledges that every individual's journey will be unique. It emphasizes the importance of making conscious choices based on one's own desires and values rather than conforming to societal norms or expectations. This empowering message resonates with listeners regardless of their relationship status and encourages them to reflect on their own beliefs about love, relationships, and human connection.

    However, like any podcast, The Polycurious does have some areas where it could improve. One potential downside is that it may not offer enough diversity in terms of perspectives represented in its panel discussions. While the hosts do their best to cover various angles surrounding polyamory, some listeners might find it helpful to hear from individuals who have different cultural, racial, or socio-economic backgrounds. This could bring even more depth and richness to the conversations and allow for a more comprehensive understanding of polyamory as it intersects with different identities.

    In conclusion, The Polycurious podcast is an outstanding resource that entertains and educates listeners about the world of polyamory. With its engaging structure, insightful discussions, and emphasis on choice and self-empowerment, this podcast stands apart from others in the genre. While there may be room for improvement in terms of diversity of perspectives, its overall impact is undeniable. Whether you are new to polyamory or simply seeking to broaden your understanding of relationships, The Polycurious podcast is an absolute must-listen.



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    Latest episodes from Polycurious

    42. Can Non-Monogamy Make You a Better Parent? with Evolving Love Project

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2024 77:34


    Abbey and Liam are the voices behind Evolving Love Project, a platform that explores non-monogamy and conscious relationships through Abbey's writing, their podcast, and conversation evenings and retreats in Australia. In our conversation they tell us how being non-monogamous has helped them reconnect with their independence and return to their family life feeling refreshed. They also reveal how their sexual relationship changed after having their son and what they did to bring back the spice and reconnect. Lastly, we speak of their experience coming out as non-monogamous parents in Australian television. Connect with them: evolvingloveproject.com Evolving Love Project IG Evolving Love Project Substack Resources mentioned in this episode: Book: Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel Jessica Fern's Books Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ Visit our website ⁠⁠⁠⁠polycurious.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our email is polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com Get $10 off STD Check ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E41 Chamberlin & Michael: Struggling Through Curiosity to Find Freedom

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2023 68:03


    Chamberlin and Michael struggled a lot in their relationship, having periods of opening and closing, cheating and hurting each other and ultimately breaking up. About a month after they broke up, Chamberlin found out that she was pregnant. And for reasons we discuss in the podcast, this pregnancy completely shifted their relationship, for the best. Today we also talk about Michael's process getting comfortable with having threesomes with other men. So if you are in a heterosexual partnership where you might want to bring a second man in, you might find some useful insights in here. At the end of the episode we also get an update from Mariah, my bestie and ex-cohost of Polycurious.  If you are interested in my relationship coaching services write to me at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com Resources discussed in the episode: Powderful (wellness blend) Costume Closet Instagram + website Mariah Episode 1 (the Stigma of Non-monogamy) Mariah Episode 13 (Changing Partners) Mariah + Fer Episode 25 (Best Friends Open to Play) Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E40 Metamours Who Are Friends with Aviva, Lorena & JD

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2023 64:36


    Today I chat with metamours JD and Lorena, as well as their common partner Aviva (a metamour is a partner's partner.) Even though Aviva and Lorena were dating first, JD has become Aviva's nesting partner. And today we chat about how even though that transition was a little difficult, Lorena was also very happy for Aviva and JD, someone she knew and really liked. We also chat about maintaining one's freedom while setting expectations and boundaries and about getting comfortable with the ebb and flow of relationship structures. I was left feeling warm from this conversation as I could really tell there is so much love and respect between the three of them. I hope that regardless of whether you are close with your metamours or not you can take them as an inspiration in your journey. Resources discussed in this episode: Aviva's IG and website where you can find her music ⁠Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E39 Sarah Tilley: Intimacy and Psychedelics

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2023 51:49


    Today I speak to Sarah Tilley, Founder and CEO of Beautiful Space. Sarah is a psychedelic guide, integration specialist and couple therapist. Today we speak about her work leveraging the power of psychedelics in relationships. We also speak about what couples might do to increase intimacy even without the use of these substances. If you are interested in my relationship coaching services reach out to ⁠polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com⁠ Resources discussed in this episode: Wonderland Conference ⁠Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E38 Twelve Lessons in my Polycurious Journey

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2023 37:02


    In this episode I talk about the 12 lessons I have learned in my Polycurious journey. Be Patient. Go as fast as the slowest person Find the right time to talk Check with your partner before making plans with other people Feeling guilt at first is normal Don't sugarcoat. Be honest with your partner Determine how much you want to share with your partner Meeting your partner's partners (metamours) helps with jealousy  Jealousy and insecurities are likely to decrease with time You can't control your feelings for other people Infatuation and New Relationship Energy can be fleeting Be careful where you invest your energy Non-sexual intimacy can be powerful  If you are interested in my relationship coaching services reach out to polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com Resources discussed in this episode: Fer & Seth's episode  Jessica' Esfandiary's episode Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rachel Krantz episode Dr.Zhana's episode Mariah & Fer's episode Tory and Jackson's Monocurious episode Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E37 All The Feels (Part 2) How to Have a Good Threesome

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2023 56:29


    Today I bring to you the second part of my conversation with Natasha + Jeremy, sex coaches and educators behind All The Feels. They give amazing tips around communication in and outside of the bedroom. Jeremy talks about ways that are sexy and respectful to approach women and they both share how to have a  threesome that is fun and sexy and where everyone feels safe. We also talk about what one can do if you have a sexual desire or preference your partner doesn't like. Our IG live is happening on Sunday May 7th at 2 pm ET 11 am PT. Follow polycuriouspodcast and allthefeels.us on Instagram to stay tuned! Resources discussed in the episode: Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power - Carolyn Elliott Untamed - Glennon Doyle Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Pussy: A Reclamation - Regena Thomashuer Dr. Eva Cadell Certified Sex Coach Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E36 Turning Insecurities into Kink with Natasha & Jeremy from All The Feels (Part 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2023 48:58


    Today I had a wonderful discussion with Natasha and Jeremy, the couple behind All The Feels. They are certified sex coaches, working on empowering people to have better sex lives. Besides coaching, they also educate through their instagram and their porn videos. Today we chat about their journeys taking charge of their sexuality and navigating nonmongamy. Natasha also tells us how she went from feeling jealousy to getting turned on when seeing Jeremy having sex with other women. Our IG live is happening on Sunday May 7th at 2 pm ET 11 am PT. Follow polycuriouspodcast and allthefeels.us on Instagram to stay tuned! Resources discussed in the episode: Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power - Carolyn Elliott Untamed - Glennon Doyle Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Pussy: A Reclamation - Regena Thomashuer Dr. Eva Cadell Certified Sex Coach Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E35 Opening to Polyamory with Jessica Esfandiary from Open Late

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2023 52:58


    Today I speak to Jessica Esfandiary, the host of the Open Late podcast. She tells us how she opened up her now 9 year relationship only a few months in, after an ‘accidental' threesome. We talk about how she went from hiding her open lifestyle even from her closest friends to having a podcast about nonmonogamy.  She also tells us the reasons why she likes being polyamorous, including seeing a side of herself she doesn't always express with her partner.  Listen to Open Late Spotify: Are You Polycurious with Fernanda from the Polycurious Podcast Apple Podcast: Are You Polycurious with Fernanda from the Polycurious Podcast Connect with Open Late on Instagram Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠ Resources discussed in the episode: The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures (book) Relationship Style Quiz --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    polyamory open relationships other adventures jessica esfandiary
    E34 Jenny & Kris Part 2: Managing Two Partners and Building Community

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2023 33:26


    In the second part of our conversation with Jenny and Kris we chat about a time when Jenny fell in love with a secondary partner and had a hard time managing both relationships. Jenny also tells us about the parties she organizes and how it all began as a way to connect the nonmonogamous community. Follow ⁠Space Invader Social Club⁠ on Instagram Get tickets to their event ⁠Purple Haze on 420⁠  Follow Polycurious on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Tik Tok⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E33 Jenny & Kris Part 1: Open From the Get Go

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2023 44:08


    In today's episode Mariah and I chat with Jenny and Kris, who have been together for almost a decade and navigated nonmonogamy from the beginning. They tell us everything about their introduction to the non monogamous world and what they learned in this process.  Follow Space Invader Social Club on Instagram Get tickets to their event Purple Haze on 420  Follow Polycurious on ⁠Instagram⁠ ⁠Tik Tok⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠Twitter⁠ ⁠YouTube --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E32 Letting Go of Shame with Philip from Dear Poly

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2023 51:59


    Today I chat with Philip, the host of the podcast Dear Poly where I was a guest last year. And what I loved about having him on Polycurious is that he spoke very authentically about his experience. We go deep into Philip's coming out story and how he had to break so much stigma in his religious community to be his true self. If you have ever had a hard time letting go of shame, as a queer person, non monogamous person or simply someone with a high sex drive, I think you will resonate with this episode. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss out on new episodes! Join us on an ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ Live this Sunday April 9th at 5 pm EST Dear Poly ⁠website Follow Dear Poly on ⁠Instagram⁠ Listen to Fer's episode on Dear Poly on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Follow Polycurious on ⁠Instagram⁠ ⁠Tik Tok⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠Twitter⁠ ⁠YouTube --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E31 - From Healing to Sexy with Jess & Zach from Sacred Ships

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2023 60:43


    Jess is a trauma centered relationship coach and plant medicine guide. Zach is a breath work facilitator and men's intimacy coach. Together they have the Sacred Ships podcast, where I had the pleasure to be a guest last year. Jess and Zach are both the kind of people who are willing to put the hard work to improve themselves and their relationship. Today we chat about their evolution from monogamous to open, including an engagement and a break up in between. We talk about their sexual trauma and about how they learned to heal, partly through their relationship. Zach opens up about how this trauma led him to use porn in a way affected his sexual performance, and about all the self work that he had to do to get to a comfortable place with his sexuality. And having casual sex with other women and opening up their relationship was actually an important part of this process. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss out on new episodes! Connect to Sacred Ships through their website Follow Sacred Ships on Instagram Listen to Fer's episode on the Sacred Ships Podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Resources mentioned in the episode: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy (book) The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know (book) Follow Polycurious on Instagram Tik Tok Facebook Twitter YouTube --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/polycurious/message

    E30 - Being Solo Poly in a Long Term Relationship with Taylor and Alan

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2023 60:55


    In the first episode of our third season Mariah and I spoke to Taylor and Alan, who both identify as solo poly and nonhierarchical even though they have been together for about 5 years. Both of them started their nonmonogamous journey in high school and have since had multiple romantic and sexual partners while being immersed in the poly and sex-positive community.  Today we talk about their experiences of seeing each other fall in love with other people and experiencing jealousy. They also share how polyamory has enriched their lives, allowing them to explore and learn from other people while maintaining their independence. We also get into a very interesting discussion about how tricky it can be to comment on your partner's relationship with someone else.  You can follow Taylor on IG @velvetsuccubus https://www.instagram.com/velvetsuccubus/ You can follow Hacienda on IG @haciendacommunity https://www.instagram.com/haciendacommunity/

    Monocurious E3 - Tory & Jackson: The Power of Non-sexual Intimacy

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 63:41


    In the last episode of Monocurious we interview Tory and Jackson, a couple living in at Lightning Society, a co-living residence and event space in Brooklyn. Today Tory and Jackson give us a crash course on non-sexual intimacy. Tory tells us why she decided to remain single for most of her twenties, focusing on her independence and building intimate friendships. Jackson, on the other hand, fell into one monogamous relationship after the other, and often felt he lost himself in them. But meeting Tory helped him realize that they could maintain their independence by having their non-sexual needs met by a community of friends. Today's conversation shows how solid and special their relationship is because they don't rely completely on each other for all of their needs. The Monocurious miniseries explores the question: What does monogamy look like in the 21st century? Our relationship dynamics are shifting. Even for people choosing to remain exclusive, monogamy doesn't look like it used to. Subscribe to the podcast to listen to 3 episodes where you'll hear from people who are consciously choosing monogamy instead of blindly following convention.

    Monocurious E2 - Tory & Ava: Looking for Partnership in the Dating App Era

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2023 50:57


    In today's episode, we discuss dating culture, the various contrasts in experience men and women have, as well as some hot tips on communicating expectations after a first date. Tory recently moved to NYC from San Francisco, for work and to find partnership with a Jewish woman. Ava, our Monocurious co-host, has lived & dated in NYC for 8+ years. Tory and Ava share how their family, culture, and their own experiences with open dynamics influenced their desire to be monogamous at this stage of their life. The Monocurious miniseries explores the question: What does monogamy look like in the 21st century? Our relationship dynamics are shifting. Even for people choosing to remain exclusive, monogamy doesn't look like it used to. Subscribe to the podcast to listen to 3 episodes where you'll hear from people who are consciously choosing monogamy instead of blindly following convention.

    Monocurious E1: Sue & Jon "A Floating Island of Monogamy in a Sea of Fluidity"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2023 62:26


    Sue & Jon became exclusive not long after their first date and married exactly one year after they met. When we joined them late last year, they were just six weeks away from having a baby. Despite going down what might seem a very conventional path (getting married, buying a house, having a baby), they are welcoming and understanding of the alternative paths many of their friends have taken. In their own words, they are “a floating island of monogamy in a sea of fluidity." And although they remain monogamous, being in an open community inspired them to allow space for their independence and focus on building trust and communication. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of our episodes. The Monocurious miniseries explores the question: What does monogamy look like in the 21st century? Our relationship dynamics are shifting. Even for people choosing to remain exclusive, monogamy doesn't look like it used to. Subscribe to the podcast to listen to 3 episodes where you'll hear from people who are consciously choosing monogamy instead of blindly following convention.

    Special Announcements: Monocurious & Event this Friday Dec 16th

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2022 2:25


    Grab your ticket for "Monogamy, Non-monogamy and Everything in Between: a Dinner & Discussion" on Friday Dec 16th here (or by copy pasting the link below) https://www.eventbrite.com/e/monogamy-non-monogamy-everything-in-between-a-dinner-discussion-tickets-482764219777 Follow us on Instagram here.

    S2 E12 - Mariah & Fer: Best Friends Open to Play and An Update on Our Relationships (Season 2 Finale)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2022 69:27


    In our season finale I speak to Mariah (the occasional co-host of the podcast) about how our relationship. We tell the story of how it developed from a friendship to that of best friends who very occasionally play. We also give you an update on where we are in our relationships and exploration of non-monogamy. I talk about how a new level of engagement with a secondary person is teaching me to be more mindful of prioritizing my primary relationship with Seth and making me reflect on the boundary between non-monogamy and polyamory. Mariah talks about her relationship with James and how their exploration of non-monogamy has been difficult for them, but she also shares how they have been trying to make the relationship work. E 12 - Fer & Seth: Monogamy in a Non-monogamous Relationship https://link.chtbl.com/sethfer E13 - Mariah: Coming out as Polyamorous and Changing Partners (Season Finale) https://link.chtbl.com/mariahseason1 S2 E3 - Queer Dating Coach Ariella Serur: Dating as a Newly Queer Person and New Relationship Energy https://link.chtbl.com/queerdatingariella

    S2 E11 - Ari & Jeshua: Growing From Polyamory

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2022 66:26


    In this episode, I speak to Ari and Jeshua, a polyamorous couple that has been together for 2.5 years. In our conversation, we talk about their experiences dating people together and separately, their growth from secondary relationships, and their polyamorous community. We also have an interesting conversation about expressing your feelings for other people to your primary partner. Lastly, Jeshua shares how being polyamorous has enabled him to explore his bisexuality.

    S2 E10 - Marcela the Hypnoqueen: Owning Desires, Forming a Triad, & Decoupling

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2022 75:53


    In this episode, I chat with Marcela, also known as @thehypoqueen on Instagram. Marcela tells us about her shared sexual and romantic experiences with her former partner Brad, including forming a beautiful triad with another woman. Marcela also tells us how Brad and her decided to separate after over 4 years of being together and how they are approaching this new phase of their relationship. Follow Marcela on Instagram @thehypoqueen and mention you are a polycurious listener for a 20 percent discount https://www.instagram.com/thehypnoqueen/?hl=en Learn more about CAMP (Calling All Magical People) https://www.callingallmagicalpeople.com/ code STAYMAGICAL for a discount Book: Close Your Eyes, Get Free: Use Self-Hypnosis to Reduce Stress, Quit Bad Habits, and Achieve Greater Relaxation and Focus https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4TX2I7/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

    S2 E9 - Valentin (Awake and Sexy): On Intimacy, Mental Health and Communicating Desires

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 57:04


    In this episode I chat with Valentin (Awake and Sexy on Instagram). Valentin is an Internal Family Systems-trained Intimacy Coach & Guide living in Brooklyn, NY. He helps mindful humans to love their Inner Parts and their Partner(s) better by moving toward more self-acceptance within and more intentionality with others. In this conversation we talk about Valentin's own struggles with anxiety and intimacy and how they led him to delve into several mindfulness techniques and eventually leave his corporate job to start Awake and Sexy. We talk about Neo-tantra, MDMA therapy, and briefly touch on Internal Family Systems. Valentin also shares his own non-monogamous journey and gives us great advice on how to communicate desires. Lastly, we have an interesting discussion around ‘don't ask don't tell' dynamics and more generally around how much to share with one's partners about secondary relationships. Connect with Valentin: Awake and Sexy Instagram https://instagram.com/awakeandsexy?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= awakeandsexy.com Book: No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Sex with Emily Yes, No, Maybe List: Find New Ways to Play Book: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

    S2 E8 - When your version of non-monogamy is different from your partner's

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2022 31:25


    A common challenge couples who start opening up face is that they realize that they have different ideas of what that actually means. In this special episode we listen back to some guests from the first season who had different desires or faced an imbalance in the way they approached non-monogamy. Guests from Season 1 included in this episode: Episode 2 - Dr. Zhana Episode 5 - S & J Episode 8 - Tarynn Episode 12 - Fer & Seth Episode 7 - Ana & Dustin Episode 11 - Ruth & Alejandro

    S2 E7 - Carol & David: Unlearning The Monogamy Norms

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2022 64:20


    Carol and David have been in a polyamorous relationship for about eight years. In this conversation, we chat about their boundaries evolving from a three page document to simply having to check in with one another. They share some of the difficulties that they experienced as they navigated having more than one serious romantic partner. We talk about an accidental breach of trust and about how that experience taught them to communicate better. And last but not least, we chat about all of the reasons why being polyamorous benefits their relationship. Vote for Finding Humanity here (make sure to confirm your email) https://bit.ly/3Kp9D6x Listen to Finding Humanity here

    S2 E6 - Rachel Krantz: On Gaslighting, Manipulation and the Complexity of Non-Monogamy

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2022 71:49


    In this episode I speak with Rachel Krantz, former editor at Bustle and Author of the book Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation and Non-Monogamy. Her book is both a cautionary tale about gaslighting and manipulation and a story about the lessons and fun experiences that being open can bring. We talk about the red flags that might indicate you are being manipulated and discuss why often times partners are not even aware that they are being abusive. We chat about jealousy, swingers, and submissive dominant dynamics. Lastly, Rachel tells us her reasons to still be non-monogamous and how she learned ethical non-monogamy. ------ Rachel's Book: Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation and Non-Monogamy - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/646533/open-by-rachel-krantz/?ref=PRH59CEBDB9B4&aid=20973&linkid=PRH59CEBDB9B4 Love In Abundance by Kathy Labriola Multiamory Podcast

    S2 E5 - London: On Being Solo Polyamorous and Dating a Couple

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2022 73:50


    In this episode, Mariah and I chat with London about her solo polyamorous journey. London shares her reasons for not seeking a primary partner and the ways that she is working on getting validation for herself and letting go of expectations when it comes to relationships. We talk about the importance of communicating intentions and feelings, even with people one is casually dating. Last but not least, we go in-depth about London's experience dating a couple for over a year and all of the reasons why being a unicorn was so special.

    S2 E4 - Jasmine & Felipe: Flirting as a Team

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2022 82:20


    In this episode I chat with my friends Jasmine and Felipe. They have been together for about a year and a half. With the exception of a short period at the beginning where they dated independently, they have only had experiences as a couple and mostly with women. I chat with my friends Jasmine and Felipe about their experiences flirting and exploring. They tell us why dating separately sounds both intriguing and threatening to them. We also talk about the complexity of making moves on friends and about the sexy experiences they have had meeting new people after the pandemic.

    S2 E3 - Queer Dating Coach Ariella Serur: Dating as a Newly Queer Person and New Relationship Energy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2022 61:25


    Queer Dating Coach, Ariella Serur, is a Certified Life Coach and is currently receiving a Graduate Advanced Certificate from Columbia University's School of Psychology in Sexuality, Women, and Gender with a concentration in LGBTQ Issues. In her practice, she works with queer people navigating the dating world, so dating becomes an enjoyable process and part of their personal growth journey. In this conversation, Mariah and I chat about Ariella's own queerness and non-monogamous journey. We discuss how to date as a newly queer person and how to deal with feelings of infatuation and new relationship energy while having a primary partner. We also get into a really interesting conversation about how to read if someone is into you as well as how you might (respectfully) get non-verbal consent from your date. ---- Ariella's Ebook “How To Tell If Someone's Queer (And How To Connect Regardless)” https://www.queerdatingcoach.com/ebook Shameless Sex Episode #5 Casual Sex With Reid Mihalko Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/69HmxdIpI45ULpTNgyx9RG?si=Epj9liQlSe2GPzQ4rW9bXQ Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shameless-sex/id1242394336?i=1000389211238 Curious Fox - https://www.wearecuriousfoxes.com/ Awake and Sexy's reel on how to make a request that is both hot and consent savvy - https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZGYYqPFNH5/?utm_medium=copy_link

    E2 - Roxy & Taj: Finding the Sweet Spot

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2022 60:36


    Roxy and Taj have been together for over 3 years and have had several group sex experiences together. They explored playing with couples but eventually decided they preferred to only have threesomes with women. In this conversation, we chat about how they arrived at that decision. We also talk about Roxy's process of opening up and letting go of what was expected from her community and about Taj's past failed non-monogamous experiences. Their journey is an example of how when opening up you might not really know what is right for you or what your boundaries are but it is through experience that one finds what Taj calls ‘the sweet spot'.

    E1 - Cookie and Jerry: On the Ebb and Flow of Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2022 68:20


    On our season premiere Cookie and Jerry open up about their journey and the break in the relationship they are currently taking. They tell us about how they managed their non-monogamous journey of over 3 years, opening and closing at different points. We talk about why Cookie decided to move out and about how their current separation has benefited their relationship. This conversation highlights how communication has to be a continuous effort. No matter how long you have been together, things change all the time. You have to do what is right for you even if it is different from what worked in the past or what works for your partner. — Tarynn is a New York-based Psychotherapist that focuses on alternative sexualities & lifestyles – including non-monogamy. She is giving Polycurious listeners a 30 percent discount for sessions booked in March. You can write to her at tarynndier@gmail.com or visit her website https://www.tarynndier.com/

    Bonus Episode - Bushwick Daily Feature

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2021 23:22


    This bonus episode is an edited version of our interview for a feature article in Bushwick Daily. Allie Ferrera interviewed both Mariah and I about the podcast. We talked about the inspiration behind Polycurious, the difference and similarities between monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, and what boundaries mean for us. We also have a special announcement: we will be releasing a second season next year! In this episode you will learn what to expect from it. ​​To read the article click here. If you like the show I'd love it if you shared it with a friend, family member or lover. Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E13 - Mariah: Coming out as Polyamorous and Changing Partners (Season Finale)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2021 66:46


    For our last episode of the season I chat with my co-host and best friend Mariah. If you haven't listened to the first episode of the season where I interview her for the first time, go back and listen now. In our conversation, Mariah updates us about coming out to her family as polyamorous. We talk about her experience falling in love with someone else while already with a primary partner. She shares what led to their break up and what she learned from that experience. We then talk about her new partner and the difficulties of transitioning from a polyamorous relationship to a (mostly) monogamous one. Lastly, we talk about our experience creating the first season of Polycurious.

    E 12 - Fer & Seth: Monogamy in a Non-monogamous Relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2021 63:55


    In this episode I interview Seth, my partner of almost 3 years. So far he hasn't sought out to be non-monogamous, despite having a partner who is (me!). In our conversation Seth tells us about his upbringing as a homeschooler and the son of a pastor in a small midwestern town. We talk about how we met and his reasons for not pursuing non-monogamy. We tell you what our boundaries are and how they have evolved. Lastly, we talk about the secret to our relationship: letting each other be ourselves and maintaining our independence. If you like the show I'd love it if you shared it with a friend, family member or lover. Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E 11- Ruth + Alejandro: Approaching Non-monogamy from a Place of Abundance and Overcoming Insecurities

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2021 70:36


    In today’s episode I speak to my wonderful friends Ruth and Alejandro. They have been together for eight years and married for four. In this conversation they tell us how everything went wrong when they first met and how they ended up together anyway. They share their missteps as they began to open up their relationship, including a disastrous first threesome. We talk about their boundaries, how they have evolved, and Alejandro shares a story of how he overcame an insecurity that he had. Lastly, they share what they have learned after exploring non-monogamy for so many years. Monogamish Essay Podcast where they have previously appeared: HuffPost Love + Sex Podcast Touchpoint

    E 10 - Mr. K: Doubting Polyamory

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2021 57:54


    Mariah and I talk to Mr. K, who is a friend of ours and someone who tried polyamory and realized that it might not be for him. In this conversation we talk about how after discovering polyamory his dream was to have two long term committed relationships and be friends with his metamours (partner’s partners). He tells us how he realized that might not be possible after trying it himself and being in the poly scene for five years. We also talk about how despite that, he considers himself as someone with a lot of poly characteristics such as barely experiencing jealousy and wanting to connect with metamours. Lastly, he tells us about his experience dating someone with a primary and how he sees his future relationships. Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E9 - Anna & Chetan: Non-monogamy as a Learning Experience, Being in a Triad and Dealing with Jealousy

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2021 34:03


    Anna and Chetan have been together for 4 years, but individually, they have been exploring non-monogamy for almost 15 years. In this conversation they share what they have learned during that time. They also share their experience forming a triad and how that dissolved before moving in together. Lastly, they give lots of great advice for polycurious people, specially when it comes to jealousy. Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E8 - Tarynn: Relationship Anarchy, Being a Poly Parent and Alternative Relationship Therapy

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2021 51:50


    Tarynn is a New York-based Psychotherapist. She focuses on alternative sexualities & lifestyles – including non-monogamy. In this episode we talk about how she opened up with her husband of 8 years. She tells us about another partner she considers as significant as her husband and how she achieved a comfortable "kitchen table" dynamic between the three of them. We also talk about how she plans to communicate with her daughter about non-monogamy and about therapy for alternative relationships. If you like the show we'd love it if you shared it with a friend, lover or even family member. Click here to connect with Tarynn Book Come as You Are (The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life) by Emily Nagoski Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E7 - Ana & Dustin: Gender roles in non-monogamy and caring for your partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2021 60:22


    Ana and Dustin are a married polyamorous couple who have a very loving and inspiring relationship. In this conversation we talk about the way gender roles influence non-monogamy: how they played a role in Dustin’s jealousy and how they affect the way they each relate to other potential partners. We also talk about the importance of establishing a solid base on one’s relationship before opening up. They share some of their challenges and provide great advice. Lastly, they turn the tables on me and ask me about challenges in my relationship and my advice to polycurious people. Watch their dating show Quarantine Crush If you like the show we'd love it if you shared it with a friend or lover. Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E6 - Frankie: Facing insecurities head on

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2021 51:49


    Frankie is a friend of mine and an incredibly inspiring person when it comes to dealing with non-monogamy. In this conversation, she shared with Mariah and me a particular experience of jealousy, and they way she handled it, I feel we can all learn from. When faced with her uncomfortable feelings, she decided to approach the person she felt triggered by and this episode followed that story to how that turned out. We also talk about why non-monogamy makes sense for some people and not for others, about the importance of communication and vulnerability, how relationships evolve, and her new exploration of couples. If you think anyone could benefit from listening to this episode, please share it! If you like the show subscribe and leave us a rating and/or review. Thank you for your support. Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    E5 - S & J: Primaries who are non-monogamous in different ways

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2021 48:36


    In this conversation I speak to S + J, a married couple from Brooklyn. We speak about how they decided to open up their marriage and learned to navigate their different ideas of what that actually looked like. J, who is a man, was initially more interested in having experiences as a couple and S, who is a woman, wanted to see people independently. Through trial and error, J learned to manage his feelings of jealousy. They eventually reached a point in which they both feel comfortable in the relationship, despite the fact that they are open in different ways. If you think anyone could benefit from listening to this episode, please share it! If you like the show subscribe and leave us a rating and/or review. Thank you for your support.

    E4 - Safi & Fifi Part 2: Compersion and navigating polyamory

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2021 37:53


    In Part 2 of our conversation with Safi and Fifi we go deeper by talking about their relationship. They narrate their love story and share with us inner layers that help them navigate polyamory together. We talk about how Safi developed compersion, which is a feeling of joy when a loved one takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. They share challenges they have encountered and provide tips for polycurious people. They also tell us a bit about their YouTube channel, which you should definitely check out if you haven’t yet. Check out their YouTube channel Follow them on Instagram at @safi.n.fifi Book The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

    E3 - Safi & Fifi Part 1: Making sense of their queer, polyamorous and POC identity

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2021 61:27


    This is part 1 of our conversation with Safi & Fifi, a queer polyamorous couple who host a YouTube channel where they share their experience and provide tips for other polyamorous couples. In our conversation they talk through their journey coming to terms with their sexuality, gender and non-monogamous identity. Fifi as a second generation Latina from the Bronx and Safi as an African American from Brooklyn. Stay tuned for next episode where they share how they met, how their relationship works and the struggles they have encountered. Check out their YouTube channel Follow them on Instagram at @safi.n.fifi Book The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

    E2 - Dr.Zhana: Finding the type of relationship that works for YOU

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2021 65:47


    In this episode I speak with Dr.Zhana, a professor of sexuality at New York University and the creator of the Open Smarter Course, a science-based course designed to figure out what type of relationship works for YOU based on your personality. She is also the mastermind behind Uncensored with Dr.Zhana, a new approach to having online conversations about sex and love. In this conversation we talk about Dr.Zhana's own non-monogamous journey, her research on casual sex and some of the important traits to consider when deciding what type of relationship works for you. Open Smarter Course Uncensored Book Come as You Are (The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life) by Emily Nagoski If you enjoy this episode please share it! Our Instagram is Polycuriouspodcast Our email is polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

    relationships new york university uncensored zhana you are the surprising new science
    E1 - Mariah: the stigma of non-monogamy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2021 50:25


    In this episode, we introduce Polycurious, what you can expect from episodes to come, and an interview with our occasional co-host, Mariah. We dive into all the juicy details around her journey into non-monogamy, the stigma around non-monogomy (especially how it relates to her family), her first play party, relationship with her primary, and experience with jealousy. Please help support by subscribing, giving us 5 stars if you love these conversations as much as we do, and tune in every Thursday for new episodes! Follow us on Instagram at polycuriouspodcast Write to us at polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com

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