The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Why is it so hard to leave — even when you know the relationship is toxic? In this powerful episode, we expose the hidden truth behind trauma bonding with a covert narcissist. It's not just emotional confusion — it's chemical addiction. You're not addicted to the person; you're addicted to the highs, the relief, the dopamine rush that follows emotional chaos. And while you're chasing connection, they're chasing something else entirely: your Fix-It Mode. We'll break down the neuroscience of trauma bonding, explore why your empathy is being exploited, and uncover why the narcissist needs to keep collapsing — just to keep you engaged. This isn't love. It's survival mode. If you've ever felt trapped in the cycle of emotional whiplash — adored one moment, blamed the next — this episode will help you see the pattern for what it is… and finally begin to break free.

If you've been bending over backwards trying to fix a relationship that keeps breaking you… this episode is for you. Today, I'm sharing a personal story about the moment I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Can you honestly say you've done everything you know to do?” That one question made me face the truth — not about the relationship, but about how much of myself I had been pouring into something that couldn't be repaired by effort alone. In this episode, we explore: Why survivors of covert narcissistic abuse try so hard to fix what isn't fixable How over-functioning keeps us stuck in one-sided emotional labor What “giving it your all” really means — and what it doesn't The illusion of the “one right book, podcast, or article” that will finally make them change The moment you realize you've done enough — even if they never did How to stop proving your pain and start honoring your healing You don't have to wait until you're completely broken to say, “That's enough.”You're allowed to stop trying when your trying is costing you your peace, your clarity, and your self-worth.

If you find yourself dreading the weekend and breathing easier on Monday mornings, you might be living in the upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse. In this powerful episode, we explore what it's like to live with a covert narcissist whose presence turns weekends into emotional minefields. While others relax and recharge, you're managing moods, walking on eggshells, and just trying to make it through. We'll walk through the emotional rhythm of the week — from the sweet relief of Monday morning to the quiet panic of Friday afternoons — and explain why this backwards cycle is not only real, but a key sign of emotional abuse. You'll also learn a simple but transformative mindset tool I teach my clients called “popcorn moments” — a way to regain your sanity by observing the chaos instead of getting pulled into it.

Are they a covert narcissist—or are they just being a jerk?That's one of the most common (and most confusing) questions I hear from clients and listeners. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we break down real-life examples of those cutting, guilt-laced, or backhanded comments that leave you wondering: Was that emotional abuse, passive-aggressive manipulation, or just a bad moment? From relationship red flags like “Must be nice to have that kind of freedom”, to parental guilt trips like “After all I've done for you…”, we'll look at how to spot the signs of covert narcissism versus everyday jerk behavior. You'll learn how to recognize emotional invalidation, gaslighting, guilt trips, and passive-aggressive abuse—and how to tell when it's a manipulative pattern instead of a one-off mistake.If you've been left second-guessing your reality, feeling invisible or emotionally punished, this episode will help you find clarity.

Ever walk away from a conversation feeling more confused than when you started—like somehow, even though you were calm, kind, and clear, you're the one apologizing again? Welcome to the maddening world of circular conversations with a covert narcissist. In this episode, we dive into the logic-defying, soul-draining dynamics that keep you stuck in emotional loops—where nothing gets resolved, the goalposts always move, and your reality is constantly twisted. Before you even had the words “covert narcissism,” you probably felt it: the confusion, the guilt, the slow erasure of your clarity and confidence. You'll hear a dramatized conversation that shows how these patterns unfold, how covert narcissists derail resolution, and what gaslighting really sounds like behind closed doors. More importantly, we'll explore how to step out of the spiral—with grounded examples, boundary-setting phrases, and reminders that you're not crazy. You're being manipulated. If you're tired of talking in circles and ready to reclaim your peace, this one's for you.

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we take a much-needed breath of fresh air—literally and emotionally. If I weren't talking about covert narcissism every week, I'd be out in the woods learning survival skills: building fires, navigating with moss, and figuring out which berries won't kill me. Why? Because sometimes, healing from covert narcissistic abuse means taking a step back to reconnect with who you are outside the trauma. This episode is your invitation to pause the obsessive thoughts about the covert narcissist, stop decoding emotional abuse for just a moment, and remember what it feels like to simply be you. We'll explore: Why it's essential to take breaks during narcissistic abuse recovery How constantly thinking about narcissism can keep you stuck What stepping back does for your nervous system, your identity, and your healing A fun peek into what I'd be doing if I weren't talking about emotional abuse every week Whether you're deep in recovery or just beginning to recognize the signs of covert narcissism, this episode is a gentle reminder: you're allowed to breathe, laugh, explore, and live.

What if the guilt you've been carrying… isn't guilt at all? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we peel back the layers of false guilt—those heavy, painful feelings that whisper “you're the problem” anytime someone else is upset. Renee walks through a real-life example of emotional coercion in a relationship with a covert narcissist, showing how guilt is often a disguise for fear, shame, and manipulated responsibility.You'll learn how to recognize the difference between true guilt and emotional control, how to reframe the heartbreak we mistakenly label as wrongdoing, and why survivors of covert abuse so often confuse love with self-erasure.If you've ever canceled your joy, dimmed your light, or questioned your own goodness just to avoid someone's disapproval—this episode is for you.

What if you said yes — but didn't feel free to say no? In this powerful and necessary episode, we're confronting the hidden reality of sexual coercion and assault within marriage, especially when the partner is a covert narcissist. From guilt-laced manipulation to emotional punishment and silent withdrawal, we explore how control can show up quietly — and why consent isn't real if it's not freely given. You'll hear real-life examples, common tactics used to override your “no,” and clear steps to help you name the abuse and reclaim your voice. Whether sex was forced, guilted, or withheld to hurt you — your experience matters. Your “no” still matters. If you've ever asked, “Was that really assault?” — this episode is for you.

Welcome to Part Two of Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on T-Shirts. We're continuing the conversation with five more transformative truths that cut through confusion, emotional manipulation, and internalized blame—especially for anyone navigating covert narcissistic abuse. These one-liners don't just help you name what's been happening—they help you stop second-guessing yourself and start reclaiming your peace. Whether you're living with a covert narcissist, healing after a painful breakup, or just trying to trust your gut again, this episode is packed with insight, validation, and practical trauma recovery tools. In this episode, we'll unpack: “If they only treat you well when you're useful, it's not kindness. It's convenience.” — identifying narcissistic behavior masked as affection “Of course you're exhausted. You're carrying emotional loads that aren't yours.” — the invisible weight of narcissistic abuse “Peace isn't boring. You're just addicted to chaos.” — learning to tolerate emotional safety again “Gaslighting isn't an argument. It's a control tactic.” — naming the real dynamic of covert narcissistic manipulation “Your gut knew before your brain was ready.” — reconnecting with your intuition after emotional abuse Each segment is a reminder that you're not overreacting—you're responding to a situation that was never safe to begin with. Your gut instinct was right. Your feelings are valid. And your healing doesn't need their permission.

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in healing from covert narcissistic abuse come from just one sentence—something so simple, so true, it rewires your entire nervous system. In this part one episode, I'm sharing five powerful one-liners my therapist said that helped me finally recognize the emotional abuse I had been living through—and start the real work of healing. We talk about what it means to stop apologizing for your emotions, how guilt isn't a moral compass, and why setting boundaries with a covert narcissist often feels like you're doing something wrong (spoiler: you're not). If you've been walking on eggshells, second-guessing your every move, or struggling to trust yourself, this episode will speak directly to your experience. Inside Part One, we'll explore: “You're not crazy. You're just traumatized.” — how gaslighting in relationships makes you doubt your reality “It's not your job to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” — the trap of self-abandonment in toxic relationships “Feeling guilty doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.” — how manipulated guilt keeps you stuck “You can love someone and still walk away.” — choosing emotional freedom over fantasy “The apology you're waiting for probably isn't coming. Heal anyway.” — reclaiming closure on your own terms These are more than just quotes. They're turning points. Because sometimes, all it takes is one honest phrase to start unraveling years of confusion and pain. Subscribe so you don't miss part two!

Covert narcissism sends you spinning into cognitive dissonance circles! But your brain and your gut were never supposed to be enemies. They're both trying to protect you—just in different ways. Healing begins when they stop arguing and start working together, guiding you out of the confusion and back into clarity. Key Takeaways: Covert abuse hijacks your logic and intuition. Your gut has always known the truth—you just needed your brain to stop making excuses. Healing starts when you trust yourself enough to stop gaslighting your own feelings. If you've ever felt torn between what your brain tells you and what your gut knows deep down, this episode is for you.

In this part two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of covert narcissism, exploring the impact of guilt in relationships with narcissistic individuals. They discuss the importance of self-focus and reframing one's internal environment to foster healing and personal growth. The dialogue emphasizes that it is never too late to reclaim oneself and that closure comes from within, not from external validation. Takeaways Guilt often stems from family dynamics, especially with narcissistic parents. It's crucial to distinguish between true guilt and family guilt. Reclaiming oneself is possible at any age. The closure we seek comes from within, not from others. Self-focus is essential for healing from narcissistic relationships. Understanding the systems dynamics can help in recognizing unhealthy patterns. It's important to accept where you are in your healing journey. You don't need the approval of dysfunctional family members to change. Reframing our thoughts can create a healthier internal environment. Humor can be a coping mechanism for dealing with narcissistic abuse.

In this part one of two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of narcissism and the concept of self-differentiation. Jerry shares his extensive experience in family systems therapy and explains how self-differentiation allows individuals to grow into their true selves without absorbing the toxicity of others. They discuss the loss of self often experienced by those raised in narcissistic families, the internal messages that keep individuals stuck, and the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy guilt and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of personal growth and healing in overcoming the effects of narcissism. Takeaways Self-differentiation is crucial for personal growth. Narcissistic families often hinder the development of a true self. Healing involves getting rid of family programming. Shame and guilt can be healthy or unhealthy. It's important to separate true feelings from system feelings. You can maintain relationships with narcissistic individuals by understanding your own identity. Self-love is essential for healing. Many feelings of unworthiness stem from family dysfunction. Understanding the difference between guilt types is vital for emotional health. You are not responsible for the programming you received from your family.

What happens when the fairy tale was never a fairy tale to begin with? In this powerful episode, Renee Swanson is joined by Andrea, the candid and courageous voice behind the hit podcast How Not to Suck at Divorce. Andrea doesn't just share her story—she lays it all out. The red flags she ignored. The justifications she clung to. The slow unraveling of her identity. The physical collapse that finally forced her to confront the truth. Together, Renee and Andrea dive deep into: The invisible trauma of covert emotional abuse How your childhood shapes the dysfunction you tolerate The cost of trying to “make it work” while losing yourself Why the hardest part isn't leaving—it's everything that comes after The importance of creating a plan... and what happens when it all falls apart Andrea's brutal honesty, dark humor, and heartfelt wisdom remind us that healing starts with bravery—and that no matter how broken you feel, there is a way through.

In this episode, we're diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert narcissistic abuse is to talk it out—even if it's only in your own head. We're pulling back the curtain on: The emotional minefield of everyday life with a covert narcissist The way gaslighting turns simple moments into emotional warfare The mental gymnastics of the “circular conversation” The rage that gets disguised as “just a rough day” The slow erosion of your voice when you're always managing their emotions You'll hear my real thoughts—the ones I kept silent because saying them out loud would've meant inviting more chaos, more blame, more confusion. But here? We say them. We say them all. This isn't just about venting. It's about reclaiming the space to name what happened, to validate the version of reality you know you experienced, and to remind you that you're not crazy. You're not too sensitive. You're not imagining it. You're waking up. So grab your tea, your journal, or just a quiet moment in your car, and let's process together. Because your voice matters. Even if it's shaking. Even if it's only just starting to come back. ✨ Leave this episode knowing: You don't have to keep tapdancing around someone else's dysfunction to be worthy of love, safety, or peace. You get to stop shrinking. You get to stop rehearsing. You get to heal. —

At the end of every episode, I say, “I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.” But today, I want to pause and really talk about what that journey actually looks like—because healing from covert narcissistic abuse isn't what most people think. When I first left, I believed healing meant I'd wake up one day and magically stop hurting. I thought it meant I'd feel strong and peaceful all the time. Instead, I felt confused, angry, exhausted… and sometimes even guilty for walking away. What I didn't know then—but deeply understand now—is that healing isn't a return to who you were before. That version of you doesn't exist anymore. And that's not a tragedy—it's a transformation. Healing is not going back—it's becoming. In this episode, I take you inside the real healing process: the grief, the guilt, the spiral staircase of progress. I unpack what we're actually healing from—the chronic invalidation, emotional starvation, and deep erosion of self-worth that doesn't leave bruises but leaves a lasting impact. You'll hear examples that hit home, like standing in the grocery store frozen by the realization that you don't have to buy his favorite cereal anymore. Or crying in the bathroom because someone raised their voice, and it took you back. You'll also hear what healing becomes: the moment you say no without explaining, the first night you sleep peacefully, the sound of your own laugh returning after years of silence. We'll talk about: Why healing is not linear—and why that's okay What it means to be on the healing path, even when it doesn't feel like it How to recognize those quiet signs that you are making progress Why “being healed” isn't a final destination—it's a way of being And why grieving who you had to be to survive is part of the process too If you've ever asked yourself, “Why can't I just move on already?”—this episode is for you. Because you're not broken. You're healing. And that journey deserves to be seen, honored, and spoken about with truth and tenderness.

In this raw and emotional episode, we're diving deep into one of the most devastating dynamics in families with a covert narcissist: when the parent doing all the emotional labor is unseen, while the other parent gets all the praise. We unpack the covert narcissist's relentless need for supply and scapegoats—and how this manipulative cycle plays out not just with their partner, but with their children. You'll hear the heartbreaking truth of what it feels like to be the steady, loving, rule-setting parent while your kids are pulled toward the fun, charming, and performative parent who barely shows up... until the cameras are on. This episode is for the parents who make the lunches, wipe the tears, stay up worrying, enforce the rules, and still get painted as the “problem.” It's for the ones who feel erased, blamed, and heartbroken. You're not alone—and you're not invisible. Tune in for validation, practical healing tools, and the reminder that your love leaves a lasting mark, even if your children can't see it right now. The truth will rise. To the invisible parent: You are the anchor. You are the lighthouse. And one day, they will know.

I often get asked: •Why did this happen to me? •How did I get here? •How do I prevent it from ever happening again? •How do I heal from this? These are excellent questions and they are very related to each other. Why did this happen to me has a whole lot to do with how do I prevent it from ever happening again. How did I get here is tied closely with how do I heal from this. You need to know about Radical Personal Responsibility - Your special weapon that is unreachable for narcissistic individuals. Taking control of your own internal world is absolutely one of your greatest tools and something that covert narcissists can never do!! I want to explain this tool to you and then teach you how to use it. The first step is to become aware of your autopilot! I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? •Are you searching for people who get it? •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Not all bruises are visible—and some of the deepest ones live in the hearts of our children. In this powerful episode, we talk about the unseen wounds of emotional abuse, especially when you're parenting alongside a covert narcissist. What happens when the world only believes abuse if they can see it? What happens to the children growing up in that invisible war zone? If you've ever felt dismissed because your scars weren't physical, or if you're watching your children carry emotional weight no child should bear, this episode will speak to your soul. You'll hear validation, truth, and hope for healing—for you and for your kids. This one's for the parent who keeps showing up, even when no one sees how hard it is. You are not alone. And your love is rewriting their story.

What a privilege it is to introduce to you Debbie Mirza! She is best-selling author of the book "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist," one of the first books I ever read that opened my eyes to the nightmare that I was living. This book is an amazing resource for gaining awareness and understanding of covert narcissism. Her second book "Worthy of Love' presents a gentle and restorative path to healing after narcissistic abuse. Debbie is a beautiful testimony that healing is possible and thriving is obtainable. Debbie has such a gentle and tender heart for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Her gentle spirit and empowering strength are so encouraging and inspiring. She shows us all that it is possible to stand up for and protect yourself and yet maintain that kind and compassionate self that we all desire to be. To learn more about Debbie's work, visit www.debbiemirza.com June 1 is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. In honor of that day, for the entire month of June, I am offering all individual sessions with at a discounted rate of $99 per hour. We can meet once or we can meet as many times as you want. If you would like to take advantage of this offer, shoot me an email at renee@cnglifecoaching.com I also want to take a quick moment and remind you that my next round of group sessions is beginning on May 31. I only have a few spots left in these groups. You can choose between Tuesday mornings or Saturday mornings. Each group runs for 6 weeks. We meet for 2 hours on Zoom each week. You receive handouts and worksheets each week. Each group consists of 10 group members, who just like you are struggling through a relationship with a covert narcissist. It is incredibly empowering to work in a group setting where you receive so much validation for the pain, confusion and doubt that you are experiencing. If you want one of these few spots remaining, please do not hesitate to contact me. These groups will fill up.

Have you ever tried to Grey Rock a covert narcissist—only to watch it completely blow up in your face? You stayed neutral, kept your answers short, and avoided reacting… but somehow, things escalated anyway. In this episode, we dive deep into why Grey Rocking often backfires with a covert narcissist, and how to use it in a smarter, safer, and more strategic way. You'll learn how covert narcissists twist neutrality into rejection, how they bait you into reacting, and how to avoid giving them emotional fuel—without triggering more manipulation. We'll break down: Why covert narcissists hate emotional detachment The difference between effective Grey Rocking and silent stonewalling How to use “disguised disengagement” to shut down manipulation When NOT to Grey Rock—and what to do instead If you're trying to break free from covert narcissistic abuse and protect your emotional energy, this episode is for you. Tune in now and learn how to outsmart the manipulation—without losing your peace.

Is a peaceful divorce possible when dealing with a covert narcissist? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks to unpack the complexities of separation from a covert narcissist. We dive into the concept of radical acceptance—understanding the reality of your situation and adjusting your expectations accordingly. If you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or struggling to co-parent with a covert narcissist, this conversation will provide clarity, validation, and practical steps to regain your power.

Imagine being pushed, prodded, and ignored—until you finally snap. Then suddenly, you're the problem. Sound familiar? In this episode, we're diving deep into reactive abuse—one of the most insidious tactics covert narcissists use to flip the script and make survivors question their reality. I'll share real-life stories—both from childhood and marriage—illustrating how this pattern plays out, how narcissists provoke reactions only to play the victim, and why your reaction does not make you the abuser. If you've ever been told, “Wow, you're the crazy one,” or “You really have anger issues,” after finally standing up for yourself—this episode is for you. Let's dismantle the shame and reclaim your truth. You are not alone. Your reactions don't define you. And you deserve to heal. Subscribe now and don't miss next week's deep dive on the Grey Rock method!   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

In this powerful Part Two of the two-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella and Renee Swanson, we shift perspectives. In part one, we discussed the adult child uncovering a covert narcissistic parent, and this is featured on The Narcissism Decoder. Now we shift to the parent who realizes their adult child exhibits covert narcissistic behaviors. Dr. Mazzella, a seasoned psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, brings his expertise in to explore the emotional turmoil, self-doubt, and painful realities parents face when confronted with this harsh truth. Together, we unpack the deep-seated psychological mechanisms that drive covert narcissism, the role of early relationship failures, and how unresolved emotional wounds shape an insatiable need for validation. This episode offers a compassionate yet realistic discussion on:

In this episode, Renee Swanson discusses the challenges of dealing with circular conversations with covert narcissists. She explains how these conversations can trap individuals in a cycle of emotional manipulation and coercive control. Renee provides strategies for disengaging from these conversations, setting boundaries, and reclaiming personal space and power. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics and encourages listeners to seek help and support for their healing journey. Takeaways You deserve to be heard and have space. Covert narcissists use circular conversations to manipulate. Resolution is not the goal for covert narcissists. Stopping a circular conversation requires awareness and boundaries. The gray rock method can backfire with narcissists. Use neutral but not cold responses to avoid escalation. Blocking your exit is a form of coercive control. You have the right to feel safe in your own home. Documenting your experiences can help in seeking support. Use calm times to strategize and find resources. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Circular Conversations with Covert Narcissists 04:12 The Manipulative Nature of Covert Narcissism 10:56 Recognizing Coercive Control and Setting Boundaries 16:19 Taking Action: Documenting and Seeking Help   #CovertNarcissism #EmotionalAbuse #BreakingFree #ToxicRelationships #HealingJourney Keywords   covert narcissism, circular conversations, emotional manipulation, coercive control, relationship advice, self-protection, boundaries, healing, emotional health, narcissistic abuse

What happens when the very dynamics that shaped your childhood follow you into adulthood—into your marriage, friendships, and even your career? In this episode, Mindy shares her eye-opening realization that she married a version of her narcissistic mother and how her upbringing with both a covert narcissistic mom and an abusive father left her trapped in cycles of self-doubt, hypervigilance, and struggle. We'll explore how childhood conditioning makes us perfect targets for love bombing, why receiving even the smallest gift puts us in a tailspin, and how deep-seated beliefs of unworthiness shape our adult relationships. If you've ever wondered What the hell happened to my family?—this episode is for you. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling drained, confused, or even doubting yourself? Do you feel like every attempt at connection turns into an argument, a guilt trip, or complete silence? You're not alone. Talking to a covert narcissist isn't like talking to anyone else. Simple, everyday questions—What do you want for dinner? How was your day?—can be met with sighs, irritation, or even the silent treatment. And when it comes to deeper conversations, the dynamic becomes even more exhausting. In this episode, we're unpacking why conversations with a covert narcissist feel impossible. From dismissive one-word answers to twisted words and subtle control tactics, we'll break down the communication patterns that leave you feeling unheard, defensive, and emotionally drained. Most importantly, we'll explore what you can do to protect your energy, set boundaries, and reclaim your voice. If you've ever found yourself questioning, Why am I like this only with them?—this episode is for you. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

What happens when a father's love comes with invisible strings? In this episode, I dive into the hidden dynamics of covert narcissistic fathers—the ones who never yell, never hit, but control through silent treatment, guilt, and quiet punishment. If you grew up feeling like your worth was tied to achievements, if you feared disappointing a parent who never truly accepted you, this episode is for you. We'll explore the emotional abuse that comes from covert narcissistic parenting, how their subtle manipulation impacts your sense of self, and the difficult yet necessary journey of breaking free from covert narcissism. This isn't about destroying your relationship with your parent. It is about discovering your relationship with yourself! If you've ever questioned whether your parent's love was unconditional or transactional, this conversation will help you see the truth—and reclaim your own happiness. Your story matters. If this episode resonates, check out my Individual Healing Program at covertnarcissism.com to start your journey toward freedom, self-acceptance, and emotional healing. #CovertNarcissism #CovertNarcissist #CovertNarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #HealingFromNarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticBehavior #Gaslighting #BreakingFreeFromCovertNarcissism

In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into the painful reality behind “kind” gestures that aren't kind at all. When a homemade cheesecake or a perfectly crafted cup of coffee is offered by someone who's spent years neglecting your needs, it can feel like a calculated move—a manipulation tactic meant to keep you tethered to your old wounds. Through raw storytelling and a “Choose Your Own Adventure” narrative, you'll hear firsthand how these token gestures, far from mending the past, often serve as a reminder of every invalidating moment and boundary crossed. This episode isn't just about the seemingly small acts; it's about reclaiming your power, trusting your gut, and choosing your own path toward healing. If you've ever felt that a sweet gesture was really an insult in disguise, this episode is for you. Listen in for an honest conversation about emotional abuse, the traps of covert narcissism, and the critical steps to rebuild your life on your own terms. Your journey to healing starts here. Take the next step in your healing: If you're ready to break free and reclaim your life, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com. You deserve more than crumbs. ❤️

Many of us have been taught to focus on the good—to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable and to not judge. These are not bad lessons to live by, but do they apply to our spouse in a toxic relationship? Or are we unintentionally ignoring red flags in covert narcissistic abuse? In this episode, we explore:

Have you ever felt like your reality was rewritten right before your eyes? Covert narcissists are experts at controlling the narrative, erasing your perspective, dismissing your feelings, manipulating reality, and shaping how others see you. This is a key tactic in covert narcissistic abuse, leaving victims feeling unheard, invalidated, and questioning their own sanity. In this episode, we break down:

Have you ever tried to figure out someone's true intentions? Have you been suspicious of the intentions behind one's behaviors? Have you ever asked yourself, Yeah but what do they really want? Covert narcissists hide their true intentions. You can feel this when you talk with them. Something just doesn't feel quite right. It doesn't feel genuine. Everything they do and say has a hidden agenda. What is that agenda? What are their true intentions? The true intentions of a covert narcissistic person are: •to rely on others to build them up, to build their self-esteem •to earn compliments and recognition •to gain admiration and the feeling of being important •to confirm that they are better or higher in status than you •to create confusion in others so they can maintain their superior confidence over your obvious inferiority •to win your apologies and continue to boost their superiority •to validate that they are a good person How do we know this? How can you identify it in your own situation? What do you do about it? To join our upcoming group coaching session, reach out to me at renee@covertnarcissism.com or renee@cnglifecoaching.com For more information on the group sessions, visit https://www.covertnarcissism.com/group-session I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? •Are you searching for people who get it? •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Have you ever felt like you were walking on eggshells, analyzing every glance, every sigh, every subtle shift in body language—just trying to figure out what went wrong this time? Covert narcissists don't always use words to manipulate, dismiss, or control. Sometimes, their most powerful weapon is silence itself. A heavy sigh, an eye roll, a dismissive shrug—these small, seemingly insignificant gestures carry messages that cut deep. And when words and actions don't align, you're left questioning your own reality. In this episode, I share a deeply personal story of how nonverbal communication was used to control, punish, and erode my sense of self—without a single word being spoken. We'll uncover:

After a family vacation that he thought was a wonderful family trip, Justin's covert narcissistic mother pulled him aside to tell him how disappointed she was in him. What he saw as a very balanced and enjoyable trip, she only saw that she did not get enough attention and focus from his wife and him. She pushed her unhappiness onto them. Growing up with a covert narcissistic parent, you experience extreme amounts of gaslighting, blame shifting, and passive aggressive behavior. Unknown to you, this often causes you, the child, to doubt yourself and work hard to do everything perfectly. However, you still never seem to be good enough, which often manifests as a core of shame.  Moving into adulthood it is crucial to work through those trapped feelings and learn to set boundaries with this parent. If you resonate with this story and are struggling to get out from under the grasp of a covert narcissistic parent, please reach out today. You do not have to do this alone! Support is crucial as you work through the craziness! I wish you so much peace. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Have you ever looked back on something a covert narcissist did and thought, Did that really just happen? In this episode, we're diving into the most jaw-dropping, mind-bending, and downright bizarre behaviors of covert narcissists. These behaviors are so absurd that they leave you questioning reality. If you've experienced the surreal world of covert narcissistic abuse, this episode is for you. Your story matters. Share your experience and connect with others on the path to healing. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Growing up with a covert narcissistic mother can set the stage for a lifetime of fixing, pleasing, and sacrificing your own needs. In this episode, Cara shares her journey of living under the shadow of covert narcissism and how it shaped her identity as a fixer and a people pleaser. From the unfillable emotional hole left by her mother to the toxic relationships she found herself drawn to, we explore how covert narcissistic abuse created patterns she didn't even realize she was repeating. Cara discusses the moment of clarity when she asked her mother to see a therapist with her—and her mother's hurtful refusal that left her questioning her own sanity. Through inner child healing and learning to be her own anchor, she has taken steps to break the cycle and create a life of freedom, peace, and self-love. If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of toxic relationships and struggle to heal from a narcissistic parent, this episode is for you. Let's talk about reclaiming your life, setting boundaries, and finally putting yourself first.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast Keywords: covert narcissism, covert narcissistic mother, narcissistic abuse, people pleaser, codependency, inner child healing, breaking free from covert narcissism, emotional abuse recovery, toxic relationships, self-love and healing.

How Healing Transforms Your Responses to a Covert Narcissist Healing doesn't change the covert narcissist. It changes YOU! Healing transforms your responses and reactions to their abusive tactics. This episode of Covert Narcissism Podcast explores how healing empowers victims to break free from the quicksand of covert narcissistic abuse and reclaim their confidence. Through relatable examples, we uncover the subtle but destructive tactics covert narcissists use to manipulate and control. You'll hear how interactions that seem innocent at first—like dismissing your achievements or denying your reality—can leave you questioning yourself and spiraling into self-doubt. But here's the good news: it doesn't have to stay this way. Healing transforms your responses, shifting the dynamic from reactive and self-doubting to calm, clear, and empowered. In this episode, you'll learn: How to deal with a covert narcissist spouse or partner when they dismiss your achievements, gaslight you, or criticize your efforts. How healing from covert narcissistic abuse empowers you to respond with confidence rather than defensiveness. The difference between pre-healing reactions—like over-apologizing or seeking their approval—and post-healing responses that prioritize your well-being. Real-life examples of navigating common scenarios, including criticism, gaslighting, silent treatment, and emotional outbursts. This episode will help you recognize the patterns of covert narcissism, understand why their behavior is not your fault, and inspire you to start or continue your healing journey. Healing doesn't change the covert narcissist, but it transforms how you respond to their manipulation—setting you free from their control and rebuilding your self-worth. Whether you're just starting to understand covert narcissism or deep into your recovery, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice to help you thrive. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Have you ever felt like you missed out on your childhood because you were too busy parenting your own parent? This episode of Covert Narcissism Podcast dives deep into the hidden trauma of parentification—a heartbreaking dynamic where children take on adult responsibilities to meet the emotional or physical needs of their caregivers, especially covert narcissistic parents. Growing up as the emotional support system, household manager, or peacekeeper in a volatile home leaves lasting scars. Many adult children of covert narcissists share similar experiences: managing their parent's emotions, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict, or being praised only when their achievements made the parent look good. These children often internalize guilt, low self-esteem, and the belief that they are responsible for fixing others' problems—a mindset that can persist well into adulthood. In this episode, we uncover: What is parentification? The difference between instrumental parentification (cooking, cleaning, managing tasks) and emotional parentification (being your parent's therapist or confidant). Real-life examples of how covert narcissistic parents burden their children with adult responsibilities, leaving them to miss out on the carefree joy of childhood. The long-term effects of growing up with a covert narcissistic parent, from difficulty trusting others to struggles with self-worth and parenting their own children. Healing and reclaiming your life, including setting boundaries, processing trauma, and embracing the childhood joy you never had. If you grew up feeling like your worth was tied to your parent's approval or you're still carrying the emotional weight of their needs, this episode will resonate deeply. You'll gain insights into why you feel this way and actionable steps to heal and break the cycle. Tune in and learn how to turn your pain into wisdom, rebuild your confidence, and create a life rooted in self-love and emotional freedom. Your story matters, and healing is possible. Listen now!

Unmasking the Types of Narcissism: Traits, Motivations, and Hidden Patterns Narcissism comes in many forms, each with distinct traits and motivations. Grandiose narcissists thrive on superiority and admiration, while vulnerable narcissists seek validation and sympathy to mask their fragile self-esteem. Malignant narcissists combine narcissistic traits with antisocial behavior and a drive for domination, whereas communal narcissists gain admiration by presenting as altruistic and caring. Somatic narcissists focus on physical attractiveness for affirmation, and cerebral narcissists pursue validation through intellectual superiority and disdain for others' capabilities. But where does covert narcissism fit in? It's not its own category but rather a subtle way these narcissistic traits appear. Covert narcissists may quietly manipulate, playing the victim or expressing passive-aggressive entitlement, making them harder to identify. In this episode, we break down these narcissistic types and explain how covert narcissism weaves through them, helping you recognize and navigate these destructive patterns.

Since you are here listening to this, you have probably done some amount of research into narcissism. By now, you have probably run into the word projection as it relates to narcissism. A relationship that is built on projections and expectations is a relationship that is doomed to struggle. I talk about this a lot in my group coaching program, but I have realized that I have never done a podcast episode on it. It is definitely time! Let's define what projection is. It is the process of misinterpreting what is on the inside of us as coming from the outside of us. Most people refer to projection as what the narcissistic person does, and they certainly do. However, projection is not limited to them. It affects all of us. Good people project their goodness onto others and bad people project their badness. Good people expect good behavior from others and bad people expect bad behavior from others. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Narcissistic behavior can leave a trail of emotional devastation, much like a tornado tearing through lives and relationships. But what happens when these traits hide in plain sight? In this episode, we uncover the truth about covert narcissism, explaining how it's not a standalone category but a subtle way narcissistic traits from any type—grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, and more—manifest. From passive-aggressive manipulation to the constant victim narrative, covert narcissists are often the hardest to recognize, leaving their victims confused and questioning their reality. Dive deeper into the different types of narcissism, their traits, and motivations, and learn how to spot the covert tactics that wreak havoc in relationships. With actionable tips for recognizing, addressing, and healing from covert narcissistic abuse, this episode equips you with the knowledge to protect yourself and rebuild your confidence. Whether you're living with a covert narcissist or recovering from emotional abuse, understanding these dynamics is your first step toward freedom and healing.

I was SO good at sweeping things under the rug! I could take any huge bad things that happened and just make it disappear. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever experienced this? Maybe you have heard this phrase before and don't really know what it's talking about. I am going to explain it right here and give you personal examples from my world. I recently realized that the broom I used the most actually has a title. Here's what I mean. Sweeping things under the rug refers to all the times that we make excuses for someone's bad behavior. We don't hold them accountable for what they have said or done. We push it aside and move on. Some refer to this as forgive and forget. We might try to pretend it never happened. We convince ourselves that this person didn't mean it or was having a bad day or any other excuse we can come up with. Well, my broom that I recently discovered was that All marriages have problems. I could erase any bad behavior with this broom, sweep it right away. Whoosh, under the rug it goes. What broom are you using? I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Imagine finally opening up about the emotional abuse you've endured, only to be met with harsh judgments, dismissive comments, or cruel accusations that make you doubt yourself even more. Victim blaming doesn't just hurt—it silences, isolates, and strengthens the grip of the abuser. In this episode, I unpack the devastating impact of victim blaming on survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. From dismissive remarks like “Why didn't you just leave?” to outright accusations that invalidate your experience, we explore how these responses deepen the wounds of those already suffering. If you've ever felt unseen, unheard, or blamed for your own pain, this episode is for you. I address:

Michelle shares her story after decades with a covert narcissist. As a stay at home mom, she was not allowed to work outside the home. He maintained his control over her in this way. Step by step, she put a plan in place and worked towards her freedom, which is now becoming her reality. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I cringe every time I hear someone ask a victim of covert narcissism why they are still there or why they haven't left. It's an okay question in the right circumstances. But it is a crushing question in the wrong situation.  In the wrong conversation, this becomes victim blaming. You aren't strong enough to stand up for yourself. You don't love yourself enough. You chose this so that's on you. If you decide to stay, I can't help you. These statements and these attitudes are so painful to someone who is already living in an incredibly painful situation. Making them feel worse is not going to help. When I am in a coaching situation and someone tells me that they really want to stay. I understand this, because so did I. So let's talk about it. For those who have left, that was an incredibly tough decision to make. But I want you to understand that for those who stay, this is an equally tough decision to make. To everyone listening who has chosen to stay in their marriage with a covert narcissist, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your choice to stay is not a measure of your strength or worth. It is simply the path you are on right now, and there is no shame in that. Continue to take care of yourself. Protect your peace. And remember, you have the power to revisit this decision whenever you feel the need. Life is a journey, and you are walking it with courage every single day. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast  

For survivors of covert narcissistic abuse, the New Year can feel overwhelming—another reminder of time lost and dreams unfulfilled. But this year can mark the start of something new: freedom, healing, and renewal. In this heartfelt episode, I share how I transitioned from merely surviving to truly living—reclaiming peace in my home, my heart, and my mind. I'll provide practical steps to help you let go of emotional burdens, set boundaries, and embrace small, meaningful joys. The life you deserve—a life of peace, connection, and freedom—is possible. Let this be the year you step forward, one small moment at a time. "You are stronger than you know, and this is your year to let go, to heal, and to rise." I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Today, I want to talk to you about a question that lingers in the hearts of so many: Why can't I feel intimate with my partner? Let me assure you, you're not alone in asking this. Intimacy, that deep connection we all crave, can feel impossible when you're caught in the web of emotional abuse. Victims of covert abuse spend years wondering what is wrong with them. Why am I not more sexually attracted to my partner? We go to the doctor to learn what is wrong with us. We try medications and hormones. We try stress reduction and eating healthier. We try to just force our way through it. But nothing seems to work! This is because you are having a very normal reaction to a person that does not feel safe to you. A covert narcissist's impact on intimacy is profound and often heartbreaking. Intimacy requires trust, vulnerability, and emotional safety. These qualities  are absent in relationships with covert narcissists. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

The holidays can be a difficult time for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse—what should be moments of joy often become memories of tension and survival. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on past holidays that were filled with anxiety and share how I transformed my life and home into a sanctuary of peace, love, and laughter. Six years after leaving a chaotic environment, I've learned how to reclaim joy, create genuine connection, and build a home where feelings are safe and celebrated. If you're struggling this holiday season, know that healing is possible. Join me as I offer hope, share my personal journey, and provide encouragement for those longing to turn survival into peace and transformation. This holiday, you deserve joy. You deserve peace. And you are strong enough to create it. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Emotional abuse is often described as insidious, and for good reason. It doesn't have to happen constantly to dominate your thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Even if the abuse only happens 10% of the time on a clock or calendar, the fear of it, the anticipation of it, and the recovery from it consumes your mind 100% of the time.  You are constantly analyzing it, trying to figure out what went wrong, wondering what you could have done and so on. Let's talk about why that is and what we can do to take back our mental and emotional space. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I can't keep living like this. I've tried everything I know to try. Things might get better for a little while, but it never lasts. I continuously find myself right back in the same place. Over and over trying to explain how I feel and everything is always flipped back at me. I've been doing this for years, or even decades, and I just can't do it anymore. I've tried everything I can try. I'm damaged. My kids are damaged. I'm done. I want out, now what? That very thought can be intensely overwhelming! Getting out of the relationship can seem impossible. How will I support myself? What about our kids? How will the family all react? How will he/she react? How do I tell them? What am I thinking? I can't possibly do this. It is very easy to stay in the relationship because it seems like the simpler answer. Even the thought of trying to leave can send us into a whirlwind. Heart racing, stomach feeling like it is trying to turn inside out, body tense, mind racing. How can I even be considering this? I know these feelings all too well. I never thought in a million years that I would be taking those steps. I never saw it coming. But I just could not stay. I had tried everything I could possibly try. I didn't have anything left in my tank. And I could not continue this way. Do I file first and then tell him? Do I move out first? Do I tell him first? Do I pack bags? Do I tell him to leave? What do I do first? There are so many different ways that all this happens. There is no magical “right” answer. The path is different in every situation and at the end of the day is not the most important piece. The important part is that you found your voice and your strength. They are going to be upset no matter how you tell them. In person, by phone, write a letter. Say it this way or that way. It truly does not matter. Do you really think that you can find the magical way where they will not be angry? So do what feels right to you. You have spent enough time and energy trying to figure out how to not upset them. You have tap danced around them enough. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Are you dreading the holidays? Approaching them with a pit in your stomach? I remember those days all too well! I didn't want to take the trips with him. I didn't want to go visit family with him. I didn't want to be with him 24/7. Who dreads the holidays? People who are living with a covert narcissist or visiting a covert narcissistic family member   To those of you who are heading into these holidays with covert narcissists in your life, I see you. I hear the discouragement and exhaustion in you. I hear your cry for peace. We have to find some humor at times or we are all going to lose our minds. So this year we are playing covert narcissist BINGO! On the bingo cards you will find: Rolling their eyes, huffing, sulking, calling you names, digging remarks, dismissive attitude, gaslighting, passive aggressive statement, victim playing, backwards apology, and much more. For your copy of a bingo card, join my mailing list at http://www.covertnarcissism.com I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast