The Rule Against Podcasting

Christmas in April! Who would expect it? Well, we did, since we pick the movies we watch and the order we watch them in. And this movie has it all: CGI mice, poor animation, and less than a minute of Nicolas Cage. How could we still talk for so long about a movie that barely has him in it? Simple, we don't. Instead, we talk about every single Christmas Carol adaptation instead. Enjoy.

Mandolins, Dracula, the Mario Brothers. What do these all have common? Not much at all, but somehow we talk about all of this within this double-stuffed double-feature episode where we cover two (2!) different Nicolas Cage movies.

Whoever invented the first puppet was probably really weird.

As our craft of podcasting grows greater and greater, Chris' unhinged takes get...well, more unhinged.  Rather than discuss this mediocre action flick, we talk about celebrity psychopaths (supposedly all of them), album cover art, and being intimate with clones. 

In an episode where we don't talk a lot about the actual movie, we somehow managed to miss saying where we ranked it (it's #6). Don't worry, because instead we talk about family-friendly topics such as changing our podcast name, pornography memes, Jesus as a cult leader, and a whole lot of piss.

For a better movie about 8mm film, watch Super 8. For a better sexual thriller, go watch Eyes Wide Shut. For a podcast episode where I had to cut out over 40 minutes of the hosts arguing about typewriters and moral authority, please listen to this.

Of the many combinations of movies that are out there, "Nic Cage is a corrupt cop who solves a murder alongside Gary Sinise", is one of the movies of all time. Not the worst, but definitely not the greatest. Luckily for you, this episode instead includes a lengthy discussion about Nic Cage in the MCU and time travel instead.

If there's anything we love more than Nicolas Cage movies, it's shapes and tasteful nudity. And boy oh boy, does this week's movie got a great amount of both! And somewhere, beneath the surface of this romance movie, is something far more sinister. You'll have to listen to find out what it is.

Despite the fact that this podcast is, predictably, about Nicolas Cage movies, we like to veer off track every once in a while just like the beloved actor. So for this episode, we spent a good 26 minutes talking about everything besides this movie, and then also spend the last 26 minutes talking about everything besides this movie, and that's after we edited it down from the original 90 minute recording. All I'm saying is, this podcast is to us what this movie was to David Caruso's film career.

We get, Nicolas Cage can be a lot. Maybe too much. He's an acquired taste (I also may have made an oopsie and ordered a Laser Disc of the movie we were supposed to watch instead of a DVD). With that in mind, Christopher and I watched the wonderfully delightful movie, The Menu. It's good, you don't even need to listen to the episode to discover, we're giving this to you for free. But, if you want to listen us talk about good food and gooder murder, feel free to listen to this episode.

We're glad you're tuning into 111.1 VX, playing all the best Rock hits of the 90s. Today, we've got Iggy and the Hound, bring you all some amazing Rock facts that will make you **** bricks! And for those of you who aren't up at the Witching Hour to hear us live, we've recorded this hour of passionate Rock discussion for all of you to hear!

Alongside other beloved comedies such as Requiem for a Dream and also Trainspotting is the Oscar-Award Winning film Leaving Las Vegas. Filled to the brim with laughter and showcasing an amazing in-depth look at what it means to love, this movie is best watched together with the whole family sitting on the couch, munching on some of that delicious popcorn! Whether Nicolas Cage is acting like a prickly pear, or Elisabeth Shue is shopping at the mall, everyone is sure to love this movie. Four out Four Stars!!!!

Hark! For they have risen! That's right, Chris and Iggy are back after a month-long hiatus due to undisclosed reasons. What could it be? A fight with Covid? An alien abduction? A movie that was so bad they couldn't possibly review it? Maybe it's all three. Too bad for you, we won't be telling. That's the way it is in showbiz.

So this week we are discussing the beloved movie "It Could Happen to You". Problem is, neither of us loved it. So instead, be prepared for an in-depth discussion about YA books from the 90s and early 2000s, and a dissection of M. Night Shyamalan films. Because since when has this podcast ever actually discussed what we said we would?

Sure, we could spend this episode like we always do, and discuss a Nicolas Cage movie and famous actors unrelated to the movie at-hand. But this week, we discuss a Nicolas cage movie and then Chris and I really REALLY dig into Pokemon. Seriously, I cut out like an additional 30 minutes of discussion that was just Pokemon because we're adult white men.

Chris is really excited to talk about a lot of different topics this week as he lets the audience knows. I personally find this episode to be our nastiest yet, but Chris thinks one can find taste in the tasteless experience that is this film.

Is there really a correct way to pronounce a word? What are words but air pushing out of our lips to convey meeting to one another? Who cares if I say something differently from other people? Is that so wrong? Why do we have to say Colonel the way we do? It's wrong, I tell you, just wrong. Some days, it makes me just want to move out West, look for a job, and get bamboozled into being a hitman for a bartender-Sheriff.

In which we discuss Europa Universalis IV,  Christian Slater, Anchorman 2 and the weirdest Buddy Duo Comedy movie of the 90s starring Nicolas Cage and Samuel Jackson.

Happy belated Hallow's Eve! If you still haven't finished your time celebrating the spookiest time of the month, then we got a plethora of great horror movies for you to watch and enjoy. Pay the Ghost is not one of those movies! If you like mediocre horror as much as I like Nicolas Cage, then this movie's for you. And if you don't, well, at least it's free.

Not to be confused with Nic Cage's better Vegas-themed movies (there sure a lot of those), Honeymoon in Vegas is a great movie to watch if you like Bruno Mars or being forced to watch a movie on your cell phone as the only option. 

After a long hiatus (sorry, I got super sick), we are back with another stinker movie. Released straight to...VHS? This movie has it all: full frontal, Steve Buscemi, Nic Cage with a horrible goatee, Dan Cortese. Alright, there's no Dan Cortese, but everything else is in there I swear.

"I am the greatest! I AM THE GREATEST! I AM the GREATest! I AM THE GREATEST!" - The only good part about this movie is this line.

What does Elvis, The Wizard of Oz, and the "plin plin plon" meme all have in common? Nothing, but that never stopped David Lynch. In an episode that is just as nonsensical as his movies, we attempt to dissect a film that transcends pop culture and goes beyond memes itself. Our friend at MENSA didn't understand it, but that's okay, we are intelligenter than them.

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of Sexual Assault and Rape takes place in this podcast around the 12 Minute Mark when retelling the plot of the movie.Every time we think we hit a new low in this film journey, we discover an even deeper spot to get ourselves into.  This movie is competently-made, but the story is so awful, we can heartily recommend that you never, ever, under any circumstance, watch this movie. Listen to this episode for the other dumb stuff we talk about but this movie never needs to be a part of your life. You can skip without issue, trust us.

Imagine Star Wars, but it takes place in 1870s Canada, stars Nicolas Cage, and is about rowing. Still with me? Good. Now imagine all of that, but it's boring, and that's what the movie we watched this week is all about. Also, you can only watch it if you live in the U.K. for some reason. Or if you pay almost $40 on Ebay, like I did. Don't be like me.

We're going back into the past to the faraway year of 1960. Red M&Ms gave you cancer, people didn't know what panty hose was, and Hemingway was still a hack. This week, we discuss what might possibly be the only movie to star Pokey from the Gumby show in a live-action role. Oh wait, that's actually Nicolas Cage? and Jim Carrey plays his best friend? Man, the 20th century sure was a weird time .

This week, we discuss what might be Nicolas Cage's first good acting role in a criminally unknown movie, sponsored by Raising Cannes itself! Birdy, a movie that is as much about birds as you would expect to be. We also talk a lot about Mimes and Archie vs. Predator.Also, please please please go watch the movie Never On Tuesday on YouTube and skip ahead to 10:24. You're Welcome

This week, with special guest Kevin Woo, we discuss the mediocre film The Cotton Club, starring Nicolas Cage as Frankie Grande and Richard Gere as Some Guy. Just like this movie, you can just put this podcast on in the background and you won't miss much.

On your continued trek through Nicolas Cage's beginning years, we're taking a look at one of his first films, starring him and Sean Penn. Nicky is not a great person, but hey, at least he has WW2 to look forward too. Also, wouldn't Ghost Rider be great in a slasher film?

Now this is not a Nicolas Cage movie. If that's the whole reason you're listening, then pack your earbuds and tune into another episode. This movie has only the tiniest, most delicious morsel of the Caged God, but it's still a good movie, and we heartily recommend it. We also talk about Minions. Has God abandoned us because of what we have created? Or have we abandoned God?

Chris INSISTED on us watching this movie and it's clear that this film is severely lacking in the charm, finesse, and grace that Nicolas Cage brings to each movie he works in. Sure, it has Paul Rudd, but that it's only redeeming quality. Shakespeare was meant for the stage and this movie only makes that all too clear.

So the movie we watch this is Valley Girl and it's just okay. However, our pitch for A Streetcar Named Desire set in the Cars Universe is absolutely phenomenal. Unfortunately, you will have to listen to the whole episode before getting to the juicy part. Think of it like the toy at the bottom of the cereal box. Sure, you can just get it out of the box immediately, but do you really deserve it then? Do you?

Even the greatest artists make mistakes from time to time. From Starry Night to the Mona Lisa, there sure are some stinkers out there. And for Nicolas Cage, one of those mistakes is this movie, which has a lot to say, and which we believe is problematic. It's hard to make sure, but there definitely is something bad in here somewhere.

The birthplace of a famous meme, Con Air maybe has something to say about the U.S. Prison System. We're not sure. This podcast isn't about people who know stuff, just like Con Air isn't a movie for people who care about that kind of stuff. But hey, it has Steve Buscemi as the world's nicest serial killer, so there's that!

Honestly, I don't have any zingers or quips this time around. Face/Off (1997) is actually a good movie. You should watch it! We talk about it in this episode but, to summarize: it's good, go watch it.

For our Acts of Transgression against the great Sun and Harvest Goddess, Christopher Lee, Chris and I have been punished accordingly. Please, stay away from Summerisle lest you too, wish to become blue-pilled. MGTOW, you have been warned...but really, do better. It's 2022, we don't need that misogyny crap, this isn't The Wicker Man (2006). 

In our continuing quest to Gaslight, Gatekeep, and Girlboss, Chris and I descend into the deepest pits of misogyny to figure out the origins of the opposition. Surprisingly, this infamous movie from 2006 does a lot to show us into the psyches of the MGTOW crowd.Also, it's Morbin' Time!

A podcast episode in which we give dating advice while talking about 2011 (2012?)'s greatest comedy movie. Also, why does everyone keep making Idris Elba wear colored contacts in movies?

This episode, we review what is definitely one of the worst Nicolas Cage movies to ever grace our eyes: Ghost Rider. With almost zero redeeming qualities and CGI that makes Gollum look like Henry Cavill, this movie is a sure way to start an argument between you and your loved ones for no other reason than to vent your anger at watching something so horrendous that the Devil himself would be offended by it. 4 out of 5 stars.

In what must surely be one of his best performances, we discuss the hilarious movie Raising Arizona this week. It's full of spoilers, so I really recommend you watch it before you give a listen. No bad jokes in the description this time, it's just a really good movie and I think everyone should give it a watch.

What does 5 dogs, Cher, and the opera have in common? If you guessed an Oscar-Award Winning film starring Nicolas Cage, then congratulations, you've already seen Moonstruck. In this episode, we discuss the great film, a hand-less Nic, and  B-List Superheroes 3 separate times

In our follow-up review to National Treasure's sequel, we really just lay out how Riley Poole is the real hero of the franchise and the many, many, many plot issues there are in the movie. On the plus side, they really let Nic Cage just go full hog in the film, so that's nice.

Our apologies for the delay! One of us had a critter emergency that needed to be tended to the past 2 days but we are back and we've got a special surprise for all of our long-time fans and listeners. This here is now a Nicolas Cage podcast. That's right, you read that correctly. We're doing a complete 180, or whatever you would call this, away from the Law. For the next 100 episodes, we'll be talking nothing but Nicolas Cage and his first 100 movies, all the way from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, to Pig. We're starting off with a great one too: National Treasure. Although, you might not like what we have to say about our favorite actor.

For our 100th episode, we are talking about the really exciting, invigorating topic of Data Privacy! Ooooh, aaaah, save the applause. To balance it out, we also share our deepest, darkest secrets so that no one can blackmail us. Do it, and you to shall be free. Send us your deepest, most terrible secrets. We won't tell.

Join us with special guest Richa as we get into the wet and wild world of Bikini Bottom and their Legal System. Is Spongebob a criminal? Is Doodlebob a fully-realized being with Rights? Why does Spongebob have a skeleton?  Also, expect a way too serious argument about whether or not shorts are pants or not.They are pants, by the way.

Hello! We hate Elon Musk as much as the next person, so we thought we would do an episode this week for the reasons why we do, and maybe educate some listeners about the Securities Exchange Commission at the same time. This man should really be grounded by his parents or something, he is dangerous.

Actual Topic Discussion Starts at 3:27This episode is for all the Foodies out there! If you like wine, cheese, or potatoes, and gatekeeping those delicacies, there is not a single Podcast out there better than this one to listen to.  

When Chris travels back to the past, he must find a way to survive his accusation of Witchcraft before getting back to his time machine. He delays his punishment by educating his warden about Trial by Combat, but will he be able to put off his potential execution long enough to escape?

Actual Topic Discussion starts at 7:20Another episode with another amazing guest star today! I won't spoil who, but the title is a hint. Chris talks about celebs having special rights and Iggy talks all about how famous he really is. Did you know he caused the Collapse of the Bronze Age?  A real big misunderstanding, but it happens!

Actual Topic Discussion starts at 8:00Let's get the Elephant out of the room: this episode is about the Russian-Ukrainian conflict and talks about the numerous International Laws that are in place that are being broken and the potential legal ramifications this conflict could bring in the coming weeks, months, and years. Don't worry, there's still some dumb, silly, bad comedy thrown in here for levity, but this episode can get heavy. Slava Ukraini!

Actual Topic Discussion begins around 6:00Some people would say our Supreme Court System is horribly designed. Some people would be named Chris and Iggy. Some people also want to nuke Texas and think Big Wheel is the best Spider-Man villain, so not all of their ideas are great.