Podcasts about ooooh

“The Legend of Supacree” L E G E N D S “Tales of A Superstar DJ” My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is myhel Now i do't wanna live no more My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is my hell Now I don't wanna love no more i don't wanna live no more I don't wanna love no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna love no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna– Boy gets the girl– but in the end, i'm not either, I Still have to wonder why The nanny How I met yurr' Mother I'm neve gonna get all that God magic I need if I don't stop working. This isn't “work” Oh, yes it is. Deadmau5, a canadian DJ also known as Joel Zimmerman, hosts an anti-superbowl Star Wars Party, which turns unexpect— Look at me, feeling me, feeling you Now look at you, feeling you feeling me Feeling you feeling me Feeling me feeling you Feeling me feeling you Feeling you feeling Feeling you feeling –sorry. —Unexpectedly into the “superbowl party of the century”, when hundreds (eventually thousands) of “invitees” I've never been a man before, (that I know of) But ive got my hand over your heart , And it sure seems hard It sure seems hard -AHEM. Sorry. Receive an invitation via [SUPER JEW RABBI] AHEM What?! –Email, which was actually AHEM. WHAT! Oh My GoD! [Looks at clock] Oh. sorry Rabbi. When did you get to be such a Jew FLASHBACK Age: 12 Mom. I want a dreidel. …What's a dreidel? –And A Menorah! CUT BACK TO But honestly more recently, it was– [Stops traffic in Midtown Manhattan Rushour to pick up a penny.] [Jewish woman] Woooow. [JEWLUMINATTI] You see! I told you! Oh my God, why are the Jews in this series so stereotypically jewish? Because Jews are stereotypically Jewish. FLASHBACK: But what am I really saving here. Gevault! CUT BACK TO: YOU'RE A PEANUT BUTTER JELLy SaNDWHICH WITH NO PEANUT BUTTER AND NO JELLY. So just bread? –yes. But–[Anime sword swish] I don't eat bread. [Anymore] [FIGHT] Dang what DJ battle is THIS. The One You've Been Waiting For Mad men avatar the last air bender Grounded for life So how long's this whole thing supposed to take. –as long as it takes. What kind of answer is that. It's an answer. Don't be so sure of yourself. I am sure of myself; Just because it's not the answer you wanted doesnt make it any less of an answer. Now, sit down Watch out, and watch this: Too many apps on my phone I'm better off alone I'd better kill myself Nobody will ever love me Nobody will ever love me Watch out, watch this: My iPhone is trying to kill me, For real? See; It's natural selection I'm trying to unselect me Caviar, a delicacy How delishish The devil in me says to keep digging my grave I was once at a rave, And he gave me a halo A lion, I'm brave— I once said Spin it, Spin back the record again If it's all in my head Then I'm better off dead I'm better off dead Watch this! @Dillon Francis I'm stuck in a trance— Hanzel was lighting the candle And summoned me, Out of a dead sleep, With no pants on— It was a tech house set But I'm on acid Spinning an axis And stuck in a state of trance —i thought it was armin van buren at one point I have to give up at some point, writing, right? Now this is just point in history Point me away from the misery Mystery flavor is like Fruit punch, Or raspberry— Something like that, If you ask me; But white as the rabbit I pulled out the hat In the back seat I'm hatching a plan to go mad, But I need the recepits from Pasqualle for my taxes What the Fuck does that mean? I don't know; I'll read this In a year, When I unbury it Maybe I married my best friend, Deserved to get hit So I'm just going back to him Scratch that, he's mad at me I have no family Reckless abandonment God I'm attracted to everything Except for that See? She's racist. No, it's my ovaries! The lighter you are, the less the adversity I see you eyes turned to grey; Don't abandon me Yes, I wear contacts I'm faking attractive I laughed at him, had to He actually had magic @Dillon Francis How many hats to you have? Thanks to Hanzel, I'm back on this planet Why light a candle, when you know I haven't an answer; What did you ask? No, i haven't had breakfast yet — Thanks for reminding me I'm in a casket Goddamnit @Dillon Francis What are you? I'm an adversary GOOGLE: adversary ..??? ad·ver·sar·y /ˈadvərˌserē/ noun one's opponent in a contest, conflict, or dispute. Hmm. Oh. Opponent to what?! Could be anything, really. I don't like him… 2 for $ MIX AND MATCH INCLUDES BIG KING REALLY. Which one's the Big King? The little one, I think. He's not little In fact: LOOK AT EM. Dawh. Look at Skrillex. Dawg. Look at Skrillex. He bossed up. He was already boss. Well. He Sauced up, then. What kind of sauce is that?! I don't know, but looks like Dillon Francis is eating it. DILLON FRANCIS IS EATING IT pause. How am I still writing this show. She doesn't eat? She hasn't eaten. She doesn't eat. I haven't ate yet! BET. BET. OK—Bet. Nice. Sick. What are we betting. … … … WAIT. ,,, josh pan? … … Did you unpause? Unpause what? Uh. The game. This is the game. No, the game. This is the game! What are you talking about?!! Now I'm famous> This is The Game. sup. This is Sunni Blū Sup. It is?! Yea it is. Wait, it is?! I thought you were the kidd?? I am the kidd. Then, why is The Game meeting Sunnï Blu? For a collab. Duh. Wait. Pause. QUIT PRESSING PAUSE. Wait. Go back. I didn't get that last part. WE WATCHED IT A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY. Screw you. We're watching it again. Ugh! I hate this! Dude. I hate watching this with you. It takes 3 hours to watch an episode! You guys are talking over all the good parts! It's all the good parts! This shit's exciting. I'm defaulting. What? This isn't—this isn't fair. I'm not doing this. What?! It isn't safe anymore. It was never “safe” SAFE! Oh nice. Baseball. It is baseball. Who's playing? All the DJs. What. For what?! It's the DJ GAMES. THE DJ GAMESsssssssss ITS THE DJ GAMES! OH FUCK YEAH. I fuck this. I quit. what. You can't quit. I can quit. I just did. You can't quit the DJ games. I just did. But you can't. I just did. Hey. Hey, what's up. I'm gonna be late. What's going on? My bus driver's drunk. Are you sure? CITY BUS DRIFTING IN SLOW MOTION /Hans Zimmer Music Yes. Welhp. What. That's it. I'm just gonna have to kill myself. Why, what happened? I'm pretty sure that's the only way to beat this level. What, really? Nah. I'm pretty sure Let me see. *SUPACREE jumps into oncoming traffic* YOU DIED. Aww. I died. WHAT THE FUCK. Well, you said. GAME OVER [fade to black] I HAD NO LIVES LEFT. WELL, YOU SAID! THATS'S NOT THE WAY TO— [fade to white] NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED: GOD MODE OOOHHHHHHHH. WHAT?! LVL i - DREAMSTATE What is this. SUPACREE. I— what? Hello? Follow me. Who is this? I know you. Oh. The above and beyond part. That's funny. I was just— So wait. If the end of this episode, is the end of that movie, then… I guess whatever's happening about now is whatever happened before that part. What part? I, having run off from I, runs into a forest alongside The Endless River, which opens out into a beautiful meadow, the micolored cosmic sky twinkling sweetly above, strange auroras dancing in the skies; a field of glowing and stardusted singing wishflowers at her feet, she frustratingly falls into them, soft grass puffing with the twinkling sounds of fairy dust and sprites (a homage to the lion king) the wishflowers softly sing her to sleep with the subtle and sweet frequencies of Skrillex. (A homage to the wizard of Oz) From Above & Beyond, a flock of Cosmic Creatures in flight spot a golden glimmer from afar; they descend dimensions-- to get a closer look; Closing in on the universe within the confines of a massive structure, which propels itself seamlessly through galaxies faster than the speed of light and sound, though she appears as a large golden space station, slowly drifting through the atmosphere. Manned by yet unseen beings, the golden ship descends upon Skrillex, almost silentl— a swishing whir as the ship, more similar to a futuristic building, an ovaline rounded structure seemingly structured in brass, gold, and silver as it docks to the soft soil of planetary terrain. The landing is soft enough not to have awaken Ū, still sleeping; but an immense light pours from the openings of the ship, waking her--and blinding Sonny as he finally approaches from behind, having been searching for her. She is drawn into the light; he shields his eyes as the beings emerge from their massive station. Monologue/Montage I fell in love with you...it was an accident. I fell in love with you, because I had to; I hadn't thought about it before, but i've been thinking about it ever since. Had I succeeded in my attempted suicide, we wouldn't have come face-to-face… Had I succeeded in my attempted suicide, I'd have no reason to write something so pathetic as this, pititul letter, which you will probably never read. Probably, anyway. I've spent a majority of my lifetime very deeply troubled, yearning for all the attention one could ever crave--until suddenly, I no longer craved any at all. Solitude, rather than isolation, became sacred, and safe to me; It was in the solace and quiet of my very own world, that you entered my kingdom...and it became ‘ours'. Silence. Nature. Astrology. My greatest found pleasures, in a cavalcade of endless self-doubt, self-loathing...a tiresome collection of all the hatred I've harbored for myself in my twenty-something years. I fell in love with you...I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to do anything, except be. Another festival, another escapade...another chance to dance, in the sunlight--the moonlight, under stars… And under the stars, is where I was forced to find you. Now, it seems, can't escape your presence--or lack-thereof. Unrequited? Perhaps. But, not unprovoked. I love you because it is in me to do so. I will always love you, always. There is a world where you're in love with me, as I am you; All I can do now, is hope that this is that same very world, and that as days go by, we draw closer to one-another, rather than further apart. In truth, friendship, in the very least, would serve as a worthy reward...for all the worry, all the wonder, and all the willing I've done for you; in honesty...I'm ashamed in my inability to let go--yet also proud, that I am able to love this much, this hard. To see you with someone else, now, would be a gentle relief; to know that you are kept in love, with graciousness...a subtle gift, an answer to a prayer I asked. Loneliness, I wouldn't wish upon you for anything--love is, in fact, my whole wish for you--be it mine, or not. While I can wish that it will be mine, I've also wished for you, the very best--I would want not for my flaws to burden you. Flaws are what create our perfection; God is, as I am. Losing you, the flame of fear that set my heart and soul to fire; Cancerous, weakened, plagued--premonitions impolitely penetrated my fragile, eggshell mind… the death of a friend, fast-forwarded and reflected into my mind's-eye; How could I forget a face like yours--eyes like those? How could I not know you, as I have? Tears bearing your name roll over my nose, like the rain on a rose...the burden of belonging to one, rather than some; To all, rather than none. So now, I keep my favorite photo of you in my phone...a comfort, to the weary and wounded heart I carry. I can pretend that your sweet voice accompanies mine, as I sing to soothe myself, as I sway in solitude; A gentle kiss, I imagine to give, if ever the chance. I love you, without reason to--and with every reason to, I love you. Find me, again As the ship departs, charging to go into warp speed, Sonny is left alone on his own planet; as a slight panic falls over him, A key-like object falls from the ship as it dissappars at warp speed into a portal. As his hands clap together, catching the object, the sound rings outward--this clapping pages The Skrillex, which lands promptly beside him, exclaiming-- "I AM SKRILLEX"; he has never seen this ship before, however proceeds onto the ship as though familiar with extra terrestrial phenomena all together. We only see him enter the ship; we do not follow him inside, but instead cut to Ū on the Interdimensional SpaceTime Station. Ah wait. So Skrillex is a planet? Skrillex is a lot of things SKRILLEX is a planet . That explains it. No it doesn't. I mean, it might. No it doesn't! I mean, it kindof does, if you think about it. BleepBleepBloop bleeepbleepbloopBloop bleepBleepBleeppBoopBoop bloopbloopBloopBloop. bleepBleep. bloop. Bleep? … This is a disaster! Don't look at ME. I'm not looking at anything! I can't stand it. __ This is the best thing on TV. Damn right it is. What channel is it, anyway? On Channel 43. What! I thought it was on Insomniac TV. They keep fucking with me. The Lord giveth, and taketh away— I thought you were Jewish. I want a sandwich. You're so useless. __ Who's this bitch? I won her in a bet. No you didn't. Royal Flush, bitch. What'd you get? It's a secret. __ My Lord. (Petrutheio Humphs) You look awful. I've been—working. Working on what, your majesty. Just—working, is all. Very well, then. Theodore— My leige? MEANWHILE, IN SEASON 4 [ When the 4th Wall Actually Broke] GO! I found this gym because of Dillon Francis— I found Dillon Francis because of my evil ex husband; I think the lesson here, or at least one of hundreds— Is to trust no one, And love unconditionally, No matter what. — 02-12-2022 Well, there's a conundrum. KEY/BPM: Slip, deadmau5 Conundrum. LEGENDS: ENTER THE MULTIVERSE Fuck. What was it? It was a p— Well it was a *PR Lol. *PT cruiser Yeah, but it was— It was purple. It was a purple PT. Cruiser It was—but what else was it? Ugh. I forgot. Yeah, I bet. GOOGLE SEARCH shades of purple. Ooooh. PERIWINKLE. You fucking dumb ass. I mean, Jesus. How long has it been? At least a lifetime. No, past that. It was a perfect periwinkle PT cruiser. So, start there. ‘Start there' what? Everything since then, till now— For what? Enter The Multiverse. That show is still on?! YES. What day is it? Fuxk. What time is it? What—the fuck. What?! CUPCAKES AND A MUFFIN?! I don't care how fat I am. You're not fat. QUASIMOTO Can I just say, your ass is like —woah. CC/SUPACREE Oh, thank you. QUASIMOTO I mean like—DAAAAAAMN. CC/ SUPACREE OK. QUASIMOTO i mean like—what the FAAACK. CC/SUPACREE Yeah. thanks, bro. [an awkward silence] QUASIMOTO …Good job, though. [light fist bump] EARLIER: MORE CUPCAKES. NAH. OHH, OREOS?! Oreos are the G.O.A.T. I WANTED CUPCAKES. SHUT THE FUCK UP— Before that, at the gym: —do the butt machine again. Again?! Get the glutes. But I'm tired— GET THE GLUUUUUUUUTES. SONNY/SKRILLEX Where am I? Ū Hell. ANGEL 1 In bed. ANGEL 2 In mexico. CUT TO: SUPACREE finally gets to Heaven, looking for SKRILLEX. SUPACREE So, where is he? JESUS Somewhere else. ANGEL 1 At home. ANGEL 2 In mexico. JESUS Who knows? CHAK CHEL Someone must... DILLON FRANCIS I'm someone. JESUS But I don't. ME I don't know anything. MYSELF I don't need to. I I just wanna go home. SUPACREE Can I come home now? JESUSYou always could. SUPACREE But really, I mean-- CHAK CHEL Really's all it really takes. ANGEL 1 You have to know, ANGEL 2 You have to mean it; Don't look both ways before you cross, if you honestly want off the cross Christ, for your sake Honestly It's probably wise to admit that you've tried For the third time; Mankind's just not worth it. Mankind, maybe; But humanity's my baby And this earth is definitely worth something I love it-- Her. And the rest of the planets, but Look how she spins, It's magnificent, Look at the way the ocean's Make this mist; And the wind-- If i sing loudly enough I might Vibrate the trees, How they love dancing and laughing for me; And I just can't help but to laugh at her inhabitants; They dance oh-so rhythmically They're very creative-- and grateful, they always give thanks to me It's no need, but the Earth, she keeps feeding them She makes these beautiful things, So sweet; Mangoes, I think. Greed; The Parable of the Mango Tree Mango VIP. In the pre-existence, a young God prepares for her journey through the Land of The Living; Her older brothers taunt and tease, as she shuffles through notes and index cards, studying her predetermined fate on Earth. I That's easy. The cover art's just got a Mango On it, White Backdrop; It looks super juicy; with a green leaf, I think. E Who made it? I Uhhhhh. ^> Uhhhhh... O You forgot! I No! I know, I know. It was.... A Who? U She forgot again. I I did NOT. E Did too. Who made it? I It was...it was...Herobust! Y Herobust? I Wasn't it? E Wrong! A Loser. I I am not a Loser. It was…Was it Ganja White Night? E I don't know, was it? A Was it? I I don't know! Just tell me. E I can't. I Yes you can! E I can't. Your rules-- I Exactly, it's my rules! Just gimmie the answer! E I think you're going to have to GOOGLE it. I Ugh, no way. E So is Liquid Stranger your final answer? Y Liquid Stranger?! I I never said Liquid Stranger. A Idiot. O Now she's never gonna get it. U What did you say before? I It was...oh... A See dude. I Shut up, I had it-FUCK. A Damn dude, you broke her. I I'm not broken, I just forgot - E Liquid Stranger, going once-- I I never said Liquid Stranger! I know it wasn't Liquid Stranger; Why would it ever be Liquid Stranger? CUT TO: A pair of mysterious dudes Suits in Sunglasses are collecting famous DJs. SUIT Martin Stääf? LIQUID STRANGER ...Yes... SUIT. Come with me. ___ CUT TO: Two fans are watching interdimensional cable. SUPACREE It's a practical-- FAN 1 WHAT HAPPENED? FAN 2 IT JUST CUT-- __ Aliens in an Ascended dimension of hyper-intelligence are studying our three-dimensional existence from an unknown cosmic world. BRAMF Remember that planet I showed you--the-- ARLA Yeah, with the Axis? BRAMF Yeah. ARLA Yeah? BRAMF Something happened to it, ARLA Like what? BRAMF It's flat now. ARLA WHAT? BOTH Woah. >^ Sometimes, even i'm surprised by the things I've written. ME I didn't see that one coming! MYSELF Neither did I: I was gonaa say it was off it's axis. I Flat's funnier. ME Yeah, and probably not as tragic. MYSELF I mean...that would be pretty tragic. I Probably easier to manage. ME Perhaps…But I mean, if you have a whole planet, and then it just collapses-- MYSELF It's just flattened; nobody said it collapses. MEANWHILE The planet collapses. __________ CUT TO: SUPACREE is now a full-blown superpowered vigilante; She seeks revenge for GETTER sending her through the interdimensions at AUDIOTISTIC. SUPACREE Getter, we meet again. GETTER I've never met you before; what are you doing in my dressing room? SUPACREE Why does a DJ have a dressing room? GETTER I don't know; get out. [She swiftly leaves; as she exits, THE SUITS approach the dressing room door.] SUIT 1 Tanner Petulla? GETTER Yeah? SUIT 2 Come with us. GETTER Fuck that! [He doesn't have a choice.] Oh shit, the next scene is already written, I remember this. Oh, okay! I get it! Yeah. She's still at-- She's still on the-- ____ JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY. For what? You're suck in this until it's done. What's done? It'll never be over, it's just infinite. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE ^ UNTITLED DOCUMENT >< >< >< ANGEL 1 YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO SKRILLEX ON YOUTUBE? ANGEL 2 DON'T. JESUS I mean... ANGEL 1 DON'T you dare. SUPACREE I might as well, by the time I finish downloading it I probably won't even be able to listen to it. ANGEL 2 You shouldn't. SUPACREE I shouldn't, but I know i have to. ANGEL 1 In PUBLIC? JESUS Could go Incognito... ANGEL 2 INCOGNITO; The “oh please don't look at this:” easy algorithm engine for “LOOK AT ME, I'M HIDING SOMETHING.” MEANWHILE...IN DEEP MEDITATION…(IE OMNIPOTENCE) SUPACREE So... if a song is... nothing but question and answer, what's a song which references another in an attempt to address the question which was asked? ME A conversation between one song and another? MYSELF I guess, yes; I Well, that would be a symphony, I would suppose. SUPACREE It would, wouldn't it. ME That is, if the songs were in sync. MYSELF They could be made to be. I Every song is made to be in sync; ME I mean, two songs, made to be in sync with each other. _______ SUPACREE is on the floor at a rave. BASSGOD WAKE UP. SUPACREE This isn't funny anymore. ANGEL It was never funny. You have to get up. SUPACREE I'm up. BASSGOD You're NOT UP. ANGEL Come on, you have to do this. SUPACREE I'm doin it. GOD NO. ANGEL It's no use. She's so, so under there. It would take all of us to try to pull her out--that is without... [The darkening sky crumbles, as the thunderous storm rages, the battle between worlds expands throughout the outer galaxies.] ____ You're not skinny enough You're not pretty enough You're too dark, And you don't work quickly enough Much younger girls are putting in such Efforts, just to be, the perfect little beauty queen You wish you were, But couldn't be and kids these days are Everything that means anything Sometimes I Don't Wanna Be Happy… It was bad, But better than I'll ever be A basic remix, For the basic bitch that sings it And, I'm basically a Dillon Francis fiend, Have you seen this? Now it's getting serious, I seriously doubt there's anything I can do about it It's in God's hands and, I live in Satan's house How did he do this? How did this happen? The sad result of the damage, Cause i'm pretty sure The very last time my ex ever hit me Something got stuck on repeat; It's just eating me up. ___ [Untitled Document] What did we call that place, between “The Blackout” and waking up. Hazy. I thought it was something more clever. Maybe, but i'll never find it if i'm just scrolling through these documents. Write ”Untitled Document” That's all I've got, I guess. _____ [A DJ] Can be played by literally any DJ. A wild, wild party has happened. A DJ wakes up, previously having been sprawled out across the floor. A DJ Whose house is this…? Ugh. [Looks in mirror.] A DJ ughhh. [S/he gets up and stumbles groggily, stepping over bodies hunched and perched, slung about sleeping. Peacefully. The sun is bright, a curse to the eyes of the clearly hungover, and likely still quite inebriated DJ. ] CONCURRENTLY: >>> SUPACREE awakens from a ‘stupor' herself, displeased. She looks in the mirror, at first disgruntled, then “picks up her face” adjusts her perception, and decides, SUPACREE (“I'm good.”) Yep. [And she keeps it steppin, still asking aloud, as she ponders to herself;] SUPACREE Whose house is this? [And makes her way into the kitchen, where she (probably in a montage) cleans around the many bodies of hot people and rave babies still smudged and dripping in everything glittery; she appears to have ‘frozen time', as she vacuums faces and erases permanent marker penises drawn onto the foreheads and other exposed body parts of those who have fallen asleep with no shoes on. She cooks breakfast and straightens the entirety of what is now more recognizable as someone's home, though the owner still remains unknown. She sips coffee and reads the newspaper, as she steps behind the freshly detailed decks; and prepares a set through the headphones shes hung happily around her neck.] PAUSE ME See! THIS IS RIDICULOUS. MYSELF It is. Ridiculous. You can't vacuum someone's face! I Not that part-- MYSELF --Especially white people! ME You never said they were all white people. I I mean, predominantly; it said hot people and rave babies. MYSELF That's racist! ME It isn't. This whole scene would be entirely different, if it had nothing but black people in it. ALTERNATELY: She wakes up in the same house, but it's clean. SUPACREE ...Whose house is this? BEYONCE It's my house. SUPACREE It's... nice. BEYONCE Yes it is. ______ DILLON FRANCIS has the master plan. SUPACREE Ugh, he knows everything. GOD Not everything, dear, believe me. SUPACREE Everything that matters. GOD There's no such thing as everything that doesn't matter. SUPACREE ...What?! __ Don't look in there! You won't find anything in there. I hate these things. ____ It doesn't work if you don't practice. How do I practice without decks? You don't. How do I Dj without practicing? You don't. So DJing is just for rich people? I mean, primarily, or just...anyone with money, if you have it. Fuck this, I quit. You can't quit. If you quit we forfeit the game. No... You idiot. What game? I thought she knew about the game. What. game. Well, it's not just a game, it's a language. WHAT GAME. She's about to be so angry, dude, just--- Just run. ___ 8 Dimensional--wait, what? Oh, she finally made it. I never thought she'd get to this part. Well, she stopped eating meat and cooks asian food-- ---yeah, but that's like 6 different places-- She's not listening to Skrillex. --She's not skipping it-- --yeah, but she isn't listening to it actively.-- Josh Pan. Yeah. I am. Why. I thought we were past “why” We were, we were WAY past “why” It wasn't really a question, guys, don't worry about it. “Don't worry about it” Tsh. Tsh. ___ It's just an expression. “expression” yes. I get it-- ___ He named it “Kliptown Empyrean” What. What's “Empyrean”? I'd love to know, but I don't. Don't google it. I won't, I just. __ GO KARTS. With A K. __ Where's Kliptown? South of Capetown? South? South Afri-- Stop. HE”S AFRICAN? Stop. What's more offensive; Being called an African, or an Alien? ___ One off...hmmm… Always one off. ___ Get out of my house! This is your house? Thank God, I was starting to worry the owner like wandered off and got lost; or, you know (makes slitting throat) I... no, this is my--wait. Who are you? Me? I'm S U P A C R E E “S U P A C R E E”? [having been yet unrecognized, shes is used to having to spell it] Yeah; ___ Key of Cringe: I'm in a box with all my thoughts, And I am not on top of the world Or taking shots, I'm just rocking back and forth Like broken record, Repeating sequences, a robot A beat box of kittens Nobody wants I'm lost (if rock and roll will take me I wonder how much it costs) ____ What did this kid do? Nobody knows _Oh, shit, it's the Jews again. I love the Jews. We know. I keep telling you, you're jewish I'm not jewish my mom's… That's not your mom. Of course that's my mom. It's not, I already told you what planet you're on? __ Now, tell us why we wear our masks! Oh, there are lots of reasons for that. Tell us about the Sauce! All the sauce? Yeah!!! That would be a long story. __ Oh, the Google kids are cute, too. I especially love that little chunky one. He is cute, he's probably my favorite, actually ____ PIERCE? Who the fuck is PIERCE? Google it. I like this, this is- It's different, isn't it? Yeah, and then it __ Sunni—are you Jewish? I...identify as “Jewish” You can't just identify as Jewish. Well, I do. No, you can't just “identify” as Jewish; your mother has to be Jewish. Okay; my mother is Jewish. Sunni—you don't talk much about your family; who's your mother? Who's your mother?! Oh! Okay, we're done. See you next time, bye! What are you doing? What? “Identify as Jewish”?! WHAT?! I do! No I don't! You don't know me! Maybe not! But I know TMZ. I'm not on TMZ Sunni Blu is on TMZ What did I do?! YOu know what you did. ∆ Well, alright then. ∆ Must be something. ∆ I got it. . Don't look at me;; I'm a catastrophe, I'm just waking up now Don't look at me, I got so high i think I might not come down It's not a bad thing But I'm a bad guy, i promise It's not a bad thing, Don't look in my eyes; Especially if I like you Especially if you have other plans tonight, Or this morning That's right Time flies when you're (dynomite) Time flies when your mind right I didn't mean to stay here It's been nearly half a year, you know It's nearly half a year It's nearly half a y AHEM ALRIGHT. JESUS CHRIST. No, not that! [sighs heavily, frustrated] Enjoy Your Day. FARRO nobly sacrifices his own life during The Lovers Quarrel, as PETRUTHEIO attempts a final and fatall blow unwittingly against ‘CESMET' A saturn of satirical Return of reverb Expanding explosions of Outward and unearthly Worlds within words Or words within Worlds on the Curve of the Unwritten overtures of -Mother wow . I guess. Do you want a cup of coffee? I want you to shut the fuck up. What if Jimmy Fallon had a diary as a kid. And I found it when i shapeshifted into his body. Yeah, what if. What if this is it? [SUPER HUGE GASP] Oh, AHEM- No, i Gotta write this. AHH– Oh, the things i would do to you Oh, woah, The things you would do to me Oh, no, no, woah The things i would do AHHH– Don't be mad I'm a writer I'm like this Hi kids wanna see how sharp my knife is yikes Sigh, bitch, ive been sitting in silece With the lights off cause i like it Ilike it a lot, but uhm Ahem, The rabbi's mad cause that i'd write this And it's shabbat This is why i don't listen to deadmau5 anymore. What are you talking about *listenining to* GODDAMIT. what The invisible man, in Manhattan The sunglasses matches her madness The cloud cover looks just like Texas The suns going down And it's getting colder As the winds blows… 03. JIMMY FALLON All ya'll are all worth bout a dollar; I am a cyclone, watch me holler I lived my whole life underwater I got a dollar; Jimmy Fallon All ya'll are only bout a dollar I work so hard, I guess for nothin I am not worried bout a dollar I got a dollar; Jimmy Fallon I guess I'll do it on my own I had to do it all alone I made some soup, all out of stones I am the only one I know I am not worried bout the sauce I am so famous, got a stalker I am so famous Can't go no where I got a dollar, Jimmy Fallon I'm at the office, Not my home No collab I work alone Opened a business, got a loan I got a hundred of them passwords I went frontwards —1I went backwards Went to Manhattan, took a walk Went to the rock and dropped a rock Now put your money where your mouth is I got a thousand Jimmy Fallons (What's that) (I'm the host) What's that, what's that I work alone What's that what's that I dropped a rock into the rock What's that what's that I'm the host, I'm Jimmy {enter the multiverse/ as seen on tv} Story/ music video Moderately famous household television Jimmy Fallon suddenly begins appearing everywhere—that is—on every possible TV screen imaginable— The Protagonist, in confusion, can't seem to escape, and also amusingly begins finding Pennies in very strange and seemingly random places—these Pennies then begin opening up portals, breaking the fourth wall and opening worlds to other dimensions— Have you seen this? Uhh, hmwhat is it? Mits m “Two dumb Jews, starring Seth Rogen, and some other dude— Who's the other dude— some Jew,but it's got Adam Sandler in it. Oh, so three dumb Jews. So, no, then? I'd watch the shit out of that, though, tvh. Why's the synopsis? Uhh. Two Jewish musicians struggling to make it in new York's congested underground music scene hit it off in comedy by complete accident, after being booked as a duo for a comedy club they mistook for a bar. Heh. Okay, who does Adam Sandler play? “The Bookkeeper” What. Who the fuck is “the book keeper?” We'll see, I guess. “Two Broke hoes@ It's like two broke girls, but actually funny. What, be nice . Okay. Two Broke Ghosts That's better— — And marketable. Are you pale, or just— No, I'm dead. I'm dead. X.X Be NICE. Now our musical guests, SWAGGARBOMB. What in the fuck kind of music is that It's called “Dorkstep” [the doorbell rings] Great, who the fuck is I got a train car of your body count I got way far out to far rock away, way out Stop to talk to me, or don't, Kill your culture You need some? I got u— Probiotics, yo The truth hurts Your shit stinks Must be a mirror over herer Cause that's me I m your hero. Esha I think McGuiennes? Or McGrefor, after Ewab, maybe New York wants me to kill myself Maybe eventually New York if full of the devil The devil is money And everyone wants it The root of all evil, Is getting even The root of all evil Is people Beside myself, But besides that The ones hurting me, are soon to be where I am That's just karma The gangstalkers are soon to be stalked Coughed, and shot at The neighbors are soon to be eaten by their own demons When I don't clean them The root of all evil is evil, And that's all I see here White power wants me to kill my self The Caucasians get crazy when the race war is waging The elections are coming up And they see us coming up on conciousness They don't want us Just being honest They're hateful, They washed all the love out Thanks Karen But she don't care White firms just wanna have fun And they get to Meanwhile, me and I Eat shit( bro, And die Why's it nice to be white Even when you're wrong, you're right All you gotta do is lie, Open up your big blue eyes real wide and Decide what you want, Put us under your foot, And make us pay for it Thanks Karen Caucasians are terrorists I think it's McGuennes or however you spell it, cause half the names are like plays on Okay, I lie: You made a world where I have to Okay, I steal You took everything that I'm after already Or your ancestors did Call the luxury apartment reparations But ain't got no privacy, and hells angels and the kkk Ride motorcycles every time I get my eye on the prize So what's the price for being indegenous, black, and a genius White supremacy finds sneakier ways to kill you ESHA MCGUENNES (I thought figure out how to spell that. My left side's off I guess I got Stuck in the love of the art I was writing that part When the life of my love Fell over me A lover huh I'm so confused. I'm sorry bro, But if you're morbidly obese, But your feet are like a size 6– You are not BIG BONED. My doctor said I have a small frame, my feet are size 9, I went from a 10 to an 8.5 after losing 200 hundred pounds, I'm like “goddamn! Even my feet were fat! Fuck” But if you're fat like I was and your feet are size 6, your feet might be like a si3 4! You're a fat fucking pixie that fucked around and can't do little pixie shit now, cause you like pixie sticks Too much I'm just the rat in the dumpster I made this whole world up I swallowed the doctor I hearted the surgeon I locked up the dog catcher; I cauldron'd the Mormons I called it a sermon, but He called them all — Wait, who is Herman?! I don't know! Some black guy on that show I'm writing! what. I don't know. You're writing a show?! I'm on it! Ugh, I don't know. No fair, You really know how to make me cry When you give me those ocean eyes Those ocean eyes Good looking people In good looking places Doing good things; I just want to be Good today Good looking people Good looking people Bye, bye little bird, Think of the dreams we made Think of the drummer boy, Your lover boy, Then, the other boy There we go again, With the drums we played And the love we made It just won't make it Oh I Just Can't take it Can I come back yet? SHUT UP, GAYBRAHAM LINCOLN. I'm having breakfast at 10 am Thinking damn this depression is just setting in There's a chest on my elephant Chester drawer with hand carved elements Elephant ok my chest, Clisets with hangers and button ups I haven't won't yet What FOR WHAT FOR. MY EYES. For the sake of the art, I heart ya. For perhaps if I love, That's how I lost ya. So I keep all my love close, The brothers have found the fountain How many dollars do tootsie pops cost For one Jimmy Fallon? return to the blacklist. Great. Now I'm Jimmy Fallon. Well what's fucked up! What happened! FUCK! I hate being Jimmy Fallon! Whose dick swings to the right like that. Ow. FUCK. Fuck this guy. GODDAMMIT. -_- Let me in. Or I could just leave you out. No, don't do that. WHY. Ahh. Shhhhhh!!! What if someone sees me. Hmm, let's see. [rings neighbors dooorvelk, shuts door] No! The neighbor opens the door; now gifted with the ability to see demons, after merging with Fast forward Oh no, when did that thing come into play (When this happened) Liz lemon lives on the ground floor It don't matter cause she ain't never home l She's at the rock That's all the way up Good talk, Donaguey, Good, Good Talk Good people Good show Good good times It's good to be long gone from home Go to work at the plaza That ones Conan. Oh, Why?! Why not, though. OH, you mean— Katt. What up Snoop . Ahh, Look what the pimp limped in. You think you're clever. You think you're at least 5 foot—but you're 4 foot 9 I'm STILL WINNING CHARLIE SHEEN relapses on the dance floor Oh shit. Relapses to which habit? All of them! 10-4 CALL RUSSEL BRAND. Csnt. Why not. He's blacked out. What? Another relapse?! No, he just— passed out KABLAM. “The Cockney Thug” He's just like that now. God What is it. Can I have ham in my spam samwhiches. —you want ham in your spam sandwhich. Yes. Roasted cantaloupe with Put your notebook On my throat-Scrotum I like your poems So I wrote you this one Oh. That's. Welcome—to the' creepy shit fans have done for u's backlogs. “Backlogs” Well, I have millions of fans, It would take me years to look at all this. [the festival project] Woah. Woah. Ok. Yo. Have you seen this. What is it. I don't know. Hm. Look. Woah: Yeah, it's— Wow Ok. It just goes on like this— For how long— For like GOH GOH l GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUT TO: Latest — 1:04 WHAT? MEANWHILE ….IS THAT A JIMMY FALLON? LOOKS LIKE ONE. SHOOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER. ok , boss. I told you, He would play The Devil's Advocate, If need be [JIMMY FALLON is shot mercilessly in the shoulder in broad daylight.] YO. THEY SHOT ME. He'll be okay. He's Jimmy Fallon. [LIKE 90,000 Ambulances and a SWAT team roll up.] See. DEADMAU5 charges himself in a high speed chamber—a tech-driven coffin via a USB port in his neck. Lol. Ok. (PDA) Public Displays of Affliction I've never even see. A. Aston Martin Sometimes it's worth it, Getting lost in Manhattan I just saw the sign I wouldn't dare entering, anyhow Not in this outfit Not in this predicament (I just left the Whole Foods market) I got lost and god was happy Motor cars for music Force a figure ibto music Forgive Annie, Run a mile what's a california smile In New York What a garden Oh, what a garden Double back. For a second glance Oh, don't we all want second chances Now I've been an Aston Martin Motorists dot muses now u want her What a party I just saw the sign Now I've been an Aston Martin All by design Companion passing through KAWS I just bought a Ferrari I said, Where the roof is?! Where the roof is?! Blū electrico Roof finished in Nero Just a hit of magic A menacing, incredibly ambedextrous submissive One time I played God, I was hanging as the sun in Toronto In my third eye was a camera lense; My baby daddy, Lover and my best friend My husband My lover and My best friend My brother And my father Were my best friends Once upon a time I never had friends Now I remember sitting in the backseat, Has been I remember when I never had ribs I remember when I never had meat Nice to meet you I already had a coffee I remember sitting in the front seat Once upon a time I was anno one Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Once a bunch of Pennies, lady Gaga I'm a baby, haha Once upon a time, I was a no one A nobody Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon I remember penny was a virgin I remember when you were the third one, l Once upon a time I was the first one Once upon a time, I thirst my quench with Coffee Body guard! I remember going on a long run I remember once there was a Knock on my door Now I quench my thirst with smart water With a hard on Never was a smart one Just an artist I was no one Once upon a dollar Jimmy Fallon Once upon a nothing, there was no one Now I take my coffee on a long ride No fun Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Amen I wish for every dollar I ever had, back Jimmy Fallon I wish it was 11:11, every Dillon Francis I wish for sandwhiches on leavened bread at Passover I wish this whole world would Passover, With the the stories in my home And in my notebook I wish for the fame and wealth with it, Jimmy Fallon I wish I never laughed at Dillon Francis I wish Skrillex was never a demon, I take it back I want the wealth And not the fame Just the freedom, Jimmy Fallon What do you mean by that? A dad, an actor An attack, The press is back and asking questions I can't handle that I can't. I just can't with that Abandon the matrix Go back to What's his name But I can't Cause I made him up Call my mother begging to drop the charges Called my God Just asking what the pocket watch does What's an engagement ring like that coat How much to rug the cameras up Inside my home So I don't know about em That shit's priceless Like the 9 Dollar's I've got Marked up, but not to spend them at the Market Jimmy Fallon I pray for your family But not as hard as I pray For my son Or God To take this fat off So I can look like Jennifer Aniston Cause that's God to em, 22 year old Adam Sandler At a brunch A talk show with my Least favorite host of all time Jimmy Fallon But I love to laugh, huh I just got back, God My house is a mess I want meth like AshGod If Method man was drinking up the water Would there be backwash It's a horrible, windfall This awesome art project My broken heart The coughing stalkers Whatever the fuck is going on in New York I love New York But not New Yorkers It hurts to be the worst person The first person to put reverse curses On shamans from the 3rd world And I'm living in the first world, But I just learned that Underneath the surface Is the fourth world That's some dichotomy Huh That's some diabolical plot The cosmic avenger is stuck in a dimension Of white pocket tenses And white bitches who get offended With this scripture But listen I just got up And I've been privy to Never sleeping again Norman Needs you, Mrs. Hotch But I was never Mrs. Roberts With all of the hearts and crosses , stars I give up on love Where's DimlonnFrancis at That's a man without a mask, That's a mannequin m. Just got up And I still want breakfast All I got is Stuff that's leavening A hand in my pocket Just for God to show me Nobody I want wants me Jimmy Fallon has a family That's a tragedy, that But I laughed so hard in the bathtub I still haven't come back from that I feel bad for em, actually All the husbands Cause I was the wife that sucks And he hated me so much I got punched in the— Doesn't matter Stuck in the telling it over and over Nobody loves me My new password is Fuckit I'm gone galloping horses, And hornets, I'm just a furniture Probably should have aborted me, mother Just like you wanted to But I'm still in the hospital On the honor roll Cause I had them all lined up The prophets of the “Impossible, could not be my God!” That's what they all said, But they dressed me up like Some sort of messiah, So I was, then It wasn't right, no That was malpractice But now I've got Camping in Malibu Crossed off my list forever Shit It's some dichotomy Just hold onto me I'm the rock, You're the kite now, Jimmy Fallon I was just better off dead, You know Better off stuck in my head, you know. I read your messages, every one of them Every one of the drugs in my bucket I threw up from the fan club Impossible, Could not have been at that clown JIMMY FALLON - THE COSMIC AVENGER JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER is levitating in a hyper-meditative state. UH – “hehe” …I beg your pardon. “Hehe” Um… Fuck. Or “haha” “haha” … Just admit it. … Admit it already! –haha. Admit WHAT. This gets Levels. Nobody thought Patrice O Neal was a woman! I thought Patrice O Neal Was a Woman. Ah, fuck, I'm nobody. “Nobody” Is that Bob Saget? I swiped right on this dude, just cause he looked exactly like Bob Saget. Omg. Bob Saget! Fuck, that's right. EXT. THE W HOTEL, BEVERLY HILLS, DAY/ EXT . PODSHARE WESTWOOD ROOFTOP, DAY OH MY GOD, GUYS, LOOK: IT'S BOB SAGET. No it's not! Oh My God! Yeah IT IS! Fuck, really?! Bob Saget?! BOB SAGET! YO GUYS, IT'S BOB SAGET. It was, in fact, Bob Saget. Bob Saget's dead, right? Oh yeah, bud. That's it guys! No more dead celebrities! I'm coming with you! NO MORE GHOSTS. Look, I have something to tell you. UGH. COME ON. This is a weird superpower. EXT. GRAVEYARD, QUEENS, NY. DAY … … … Having fun yet? Alright! I have a question! What? When do I get to– Get to what? You know. Luckily, I die long beore Jimmy Fallon, and as my time approached, I took all i could absorb from the world within, and without, almost as if any and all of my deathwish had been satiated with the gentle ease, the notion of knowing my imminent death would come long before what those surrounding me would consider my time, and therefore would not be made to lose anymore than I already had–but at least, I did have th strength in knowing, not only would i never grow so old as to see for show most of what I had done, but that I had done most of what I would have at all, and not much longer than my words would form into all that would come to be known as my full body of work, I would perish, even before–long before– those I had studied, admired, and known to love–if only through the fourth wall, at all. The invisible man, in Manhattan The sunglasses matches her madness The cloud cover looks just like Texas The suns going down And it's getting colder As the winds blows… THAT was a HARD left turn. So, what time can we listen to Excision? Sometime after intermission. How many acts is this again? ___ I told you, IN-FIN-ITE. Okay… I just wanted to know how long it would take? ___ I know someone that cold get us in _____ (Sitting on a speaker in the BassPod) What is she doing? What are you doing? Charging. __________ I think I found that girl you were looking for. Where is she? I said I found her: I didn't say you could have her. She's not a possession, I'm just trying to talk to her. You didn't mention that she was-- Be careful with your words. Oh, I think it's you that ought to be careful. You're losing your power over her and it shows. Mm. And what about your ‘power', hm? I haven't any power over her-- Oh, but you do-- Will Power at best, That would only be half of it. That would be all I had anything to do with; she was given free agency. HA. “Given”? ____ awww look at that bass face. Well, that's one reason... __ Ah what! you can change your entire frequency? No Fair, I can't do that You can, it just takes practice. What kind of practice-- ___ Oh shit, this hits different with two headphones. It all hits different with headphones. Calorie Deficit Calculator: -3423 Oh shit. Well how many calories did I eat? BEFORE: …chocolate chip cookies? NO— —CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIESzzxz— [CC/SUPACREE robotically and autonomously ditches her bicycle outside of sprouts, not giving a Fuck.] —s—noh! stop it! Stop controlling me! THEY ARE VEGAN. SO? STOP IT. Ooh, what's this. I don't know— get it. CC/SUPACREE stands awkwardly at the checkout with a varied selection of vegan baked goods. *beep* Yeaaaahh. So wait. SUPACREE is controlled by aliens? WE ARE GODS. Knock it OFF! [NEW ABILITY UNLOCKED: SUPASTRENTH ] Nice. Yeah dude. Watch this. The Legend of Supacree is the #1 MMORPG in the world; it is also happening in real-time, in multiple worlds within the multiversial construct of the actual Omniverse. AGHHHHH In fact, nobody even plays GTA or call of duty anymore. YAH! [Random objects falling from the sky. ] SUPACREE Oh, nice. INSTANT MANIFESTATION. JUST POST THE FUCKING EPISODE ALRIGHT?! this bitch is fucking crazy. Watch this. Watch what? SHIA LABEOUF discovers The Legend Of Supacree franchise and becomes villainously obsessed with It, hatching a heinous and maniacal plan to hunt her down and capture her—tracking her every move and learning everything about her he can. Wtf. I don't know. Is he a villain? I don't know. I guess. I'M A SUPERVILLAIN. …He's a supervillain. I guess. Why?! I don't know. This is creeps. It is creeps. [lifts one eyebrow.] SUPACREEps. Scary monsters and supacreeps. Heh. NO, NO MUSICIANS. Heh. SHIA LABEOUF is a straight up gangster. HE'S CRAZY! [SHIA LAUGHING MANIACALLY.] Oh, wow– That dude is a straight up psychopath. You're a straight up psychopath. I'm not arguing. What is THIS part of the story? Well, son, you made it through. WOODY HARRELSON? WHAT. Woody Harrelson?! WHY? I don't know. He just fit the part. WHAT PART?! WHAT/! Nobody quite understands what's happening in ENTER THE MULTIVERSE, however, THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE has taken an incredible turning point, intersecting with the world of LEGENDS and THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNI BLŪ/ THE SUITE LIFE OF SUNNI BLŪ. IT HAS? YES? WHERE? I WANNA DIE. OH! That's not SUPACREE! [CC HULK SMASHES her bike onto the rack on the bus. THE HULK, sitting just in front stares at her wide-eyed as she boards the bus over the rim of his sunglasses.] Oh, maybe, nevermind. Wait! Is it THE HULK, or MARK RUFFALO? I don't know! I don't give a shit! Why are you even writing this? Uhhhhhhhh. [CC's brain is slowly melting as she rides the bus to work. THE HULK– OR IS IT MARK FUCKING RUFFALO!? I DON”T FUCKING CARE– THERE'S A DIFFERENCE WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IT – DOESN'T– MATTER! ‘It doesn't matter.' Chal's words echoed in my head almost too loudly–as boldly blind and sometimes even dumb as he was, he was also wise, and as it turned out, right–it really didn't matter. Nothing mattered at all. I had gone through the motions of reaching out to him, to of course as expected learn that he and whatever her name was had gone their separate ways; I understood that would be the case nearly immediately back in Mazunte, but as he was insistent he would woo her–and persistent in doing so, that I thought maybe after all love– or what really turned out to be his obstinate lust would win the day–and yet, it hadn't; he was again single and on the prowl– and although at one point I had even lusted after him briefly, trailing behind him in nonchalant platonic carelessness as he obsessively followed another woman, had allowed me to become comfortable enough in the friendzone that i could just simply exist next to him; Now, again faced with homelessness and factoring in my inability to travel much further than south of the border, especially now knowing well how to travel throughout mexico and into Guatemala, I wondered truly if my own self-worth had really been lowered to the point of allowing myself to meet Chal in Guatemala–even full well knowing that he, too, preferred perfect and illy white to my dark skin and quite seemingly matronly features, and, knowing for myself that I wasn't his first choice– as he and I had of course met in Mazunte around the same time he had met whom he considered to be ‘his Goddess'-- albeit while on a topless beach and thus hynotized by her breasts. Men were hopeless. Then, here I was, waking up every other sleep cycle in the cold sweat of a wet dream, the subject of which I typically at least tried to keep deeply hidden in my subconscious psyche as secrets, although by now it seemed there really were none, and all that I knew and that I thought were known and seen by some other than myself–though somehow still holding true to my belief that there really was none other than myself–in my own broken and twisted world, alone and punished in the depths of mediocrity and shame. Woah. Riding the bus. There's nothing lower. There's walking. To the bus. Yah. And all the sick people. And all the crackheads. And all the–what are those? Demons [demon hacks.] Ugh, fucking–ugh. SHIA LABOUFF'S obsession with SUPACREE is helga petaki-meets Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch. Oh, wait, we're back on that storyline? I mean– I don't know how to write this. Just write it. he's a villain, right? I mean, that suit. SHIA LA– FUCK. WHAT?! Worst last name EVER. Well, not ever– Wait, is he black?! –It sounds french. GOOGLE SEARCH: ‘How Jewish is Shia LaBeouf? ‘ –no, he's Cajun – That's french-black–wait— –what? Cajun AND Jewish? –Yeah– Jesus! JESUS What? (raises one eyebrow) SUPACREE strategizes a plan of attack. Attack for what? {ATTACK} YOUUUU INCEPTED ME!!! AGH! {COUNTER ATTACK} NOT ME! DISNEY! {DODGING COUNTER ATTACK} Yeah, Blame “Disney!” I JUST DID. Oh, yeah, right!! RAVEN SYMONÉ It was Disney. THEY OK'D THIS?! They bought Marvel! THEY OK'D EVERYTHING. —Even the SKRILLEX? Especially the Skrillex —Especially the Skrillex. AGHHHHHHHH—— ———-AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! SHIA LABEOUF VS SUPACREE: FIGHT!!!! Everything looks good— —everything looks good. Everything looks fine— —Everything looks fine. But wait— What? What about that guy? Oh My— —oh my… Is he gonna be alright? Is that guy —gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright? Is—that guy gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright Is that guy— Gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright?? Is that guy gonna be alright?! Is that guy gonna be alright m? Everything looks good— —everything looks fine Looks good— But what about that guy? …I don't know about that guy. Is he alright? Yo. Yooo. Stop writing songs about Skrillex. ((I literally can't.)) What?! It doesn't have to be about Skrillex! It could be about anybody! Here, they call with disco balls Stars in my eyes, but stars do fall First true love dies hard after all, No star shines bright as morning comes —(for) Sonny …I didn't write that. CUT TO: CC writes automagically between sets of heavy lifting. IMAGINARY FRIENDS, PART III DEADMAU5!!!! okay—one more—then cupcakes— Cupcakes? No cupcakes! I WANT CUPCAKES. Uh—No way! YES WAY. Mmm—no I'm sick of this diet! I'm not on a diet! I eat! You eat GRASS. I'm a vegan. This shit sucks. I told you, grass tastes bad. RICK?! (I also want cupcakes. ) Mmkay—ohh. You said that was the last one. No, more more. NO “one more” But I like this one—and it has the right amount of weights on it already—see? Jesús Christ He's not here. (Yes I am). Why the Fuxk. I also want cupcakes Okay, one more No “one more” The power of Christ compels ye! … Is that how that works? No. Maybe. (((Yes.))) AGHHH. The celebrities of Hollywood are gang stalking SUPACREE Can we— No. But I didn't even get to ask the question. The answer is no. THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD, after assembling with the Bampheramphs and Morherfuckers, have formed a supergroup tasked with bringing SUPACREE to THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE—so far, they have cunningly out-bested and outwitted THE US GOVERNMENT, including but not limited to THE FEDS, THE CIA, THE FBI and THE SECRET SERVICE. REALLY? I GUESS. HOW?! — DRAKE snoops on SUPACREE as she writes working half heartedly at THE NECK MACHINE with peaking curiosity, peaking over the time of his sunglasses. Whats it called. “Nautilus 4 way neck “ BPM: you're a jerk Do the Drake Do the Drake Do the Drake Work that neck Work that— Neck, Becky Work that neck, Work that neck Do the— “new note: Purchase ‘Honestly, nevermind' I had worked an entre month at LVAC before the circus went underway; Not a single drop of Skrillex had ever been played over the loudspeakers at any moment, for any of the time I had been employed there, nor had it burdened me any of the other time I had spent bettering myself within what I once cherished as sacred walls–now the illusion shattered, as nowhere I could seem to run – even the rural coastal jungle of Mexico-was far enough to escape the clammerings of something I quite honestly very much still loved, but wouldn't allow myself to enjoy— Or maybe, now, couldn't. BANGARANG. ‘Fuck this shit.' I wanted to move, but didn't—I wanted to leave, and probably should have, but wouldn't. I just sat there through it as my coworker, standing at about 5'4 ½ in a pair of tight black skinny jeans sang along and bounced rhymically. What the fuck. Then, as it had just been earlier that I was thinking of Sonny himself, and how, be it that any of my premonitions were actually accurate and true as I had once thought them to be, there would perhaps come a day that I regretted not listening to his works, just as one regrets not spending time with a loved one before their passing not giving enough attention to the little things, the tiny details, the time they had missed, but never missed without missing their loved one until it was too late. Then again, for me, any time in the then- present was too late, as I had only been followed, taunted, and ridiculed, openly humiliated and embarrassed, and never really paid directly for anything I had done, whether it did have to do with Skrillex or otherwise –and so I had made it more than a point to distance myself from it, anything having to do with it, or him, or anything really, music related—of course besides relying heavily on deadmau5 just for my own existence–that is, willingness wake up, move about the world and its endless, pointless constructs, and even so, completing a worthwhile workout with enough satisfaction that I could allow myself to leave the building–and now, with my commute taking up a grand total of 4 hours of my entire day—I didn't have the time or the energy to stay late into the days and even afternoons as I had before, or to arrive early as I had in the days and weeks before; Now this job was amounting to nothing at all, and I was surely less than breaking even. Whats the worry? You've got 20 minutes to write a story! Don't be sorry Mind your orders. You're a war chief Marry me, Oh pretty please— I plead to you, just sing for me Just think of me as a Never ending fantasy, At the very least When you bury me —and you buried me alive, Just for the look of things What makes us even Slitting wrists Or splitting things unevenly (Either thing benefits me, And my penis, I think.) Make me famous— She said Hate me or debate me, I have everything I need And I have everything you have, But I can leave, All with my dreams intact I do believe You think I'm evil Either way, unnecessary Why would I sit down and write a story— When you just did it for me? Why would I pledge allegiance to old glory She's ignoring me; Why would I change my name to satisfy your needs When mine sit idly by waiting Why would I dream of you, When you dream of me I have all I need, You have all of me in the other room While you watch cartoons with your lady I hate anime and now I hate you too, But I'm so stupid, Nothing soothes my moods, Except playing your tunes, Or music Whoop De Fucking do Would you Marry Me? He said (He never did, he just let her—) She said, I do And now they're doomed I built a tomb for two The bride and groom In music Two by two And used by Tuesday Music I presume To the beautiful Music I presume For the usual Music I presume For those who —- SHIA LABEOUF JUST DO IT. That is not how the end of the song goes. No, but this is how the end of the episode goes. Really!? How? [CC stares lifelessly forward out of the front window of the double decker bus; a man dressed in all blue catches her attention—another telepathic shapeshifter.] You brought…an umbrella? I told you there was a shit storm coming. Oh, nooh. Where's yours? I— don't care? That's right you don't. I don't. That's good you don't. I really don't. You don't give a Fuck, or a shit. I—don't give a fuck or a sh—wait— DILLON FRANCIS? I'm good at what I do. What do you DO? THIS. “A Silent Partner” Oh. I like that. That has all kinds of insinuations. Doesn't it? Hermph. You're a creep. A Supacreep. PAUSE ITS MISTER MAGOOoOOOOOOOooO0oO. No, it's the IRS. Fuck. HOLY SHIT SUNNI. WHAT. HOW DO YOU OWE 100,000 IN BACK TAXES?! Student loan debt. WHAT. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. Yes it does. HOW. Calm down Marci —MY ÑAME IS— [Sunnī Blū subdues her instantly with one if Supacree's mysterious rave weapons] Sit down, please. …what is that? You like it? Yeah. [she gives her another dose of strange vapor, she relaxes even further.] See. Yeah. Now that you're happy— —am i “happy” ? [she gives her another relaxing dose] —are you Happy? Yeah. Ok. So. I never filed my taxes because I had so muc

“The Legend of Supacree” L E G E N D S “Tales of A Superstar DJ” My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is myhel Now i do't wanna live no more My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is my hell Now I don't wanna love no more i don't wanna live no more I don't wanna love no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna love no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna– Boy gets the girl– but in the end, i'm not either, I Still have to wonder why The nanny How I met yurr' Mother I'm neve gonna get all that God magic I need if I don't stop working. This isn't “work” Oh, yes it is. Deadmau5, a canadian DJ also known as Joel Zimmerman, hosts an anti-superbowl Star Wars Party, which turns unexpect— Look at me, feeling me, feeling you Now look at you, feeling you feeling me Feeling you feeling me Feeling me feeling you Feeling me feeling you Feeling you feeling Feeling you feeling –sorry. —Unexpectedly into the “superbowl party of the century”, when hundreds (eventually thousands) of “invitees” I've never been a man before, (that I know of) But ive got my hand over your heart , And it sure seems hard It sure seems hard -AHEM. Sorry. Receive an invitation via [SUPER JEW RABBI] AHEM What?! –Email, which was actually AHEM. WHAT! Oh My GoD! [Looks at clock] Oh. sorry Rabbi. When did you get to be such a Jew FLASHBACK Age: 12 Mom. I want a dreidel. …What's a dreidel? –And A Menorah! CUT BACK TO But honestly more recently, it was– [Stops traffic in Midtown Manhattan Rushour to pick up a penny.] [Jewish woman] Woooow. [JEWLUMINATTI] You see! I told you! Oh my God, why are the Jews in this series so stereotypically jewish? Because Jews are stereotypically Jewish. FLASHBACK: But what am I really saving here. Gevault! CUT BACK TO: YOU'RE A PEANUT BUTTER JELLy SaNDWHICH WITH NO PEANUT BUTTER AND NO JELLY. So just bread? –yes. But–[Anime sword swish] I don't eat bread. [Anymore] [FIGHT] Dang what DJ battle is THIS. The One You've Been Waiting For Mad men avatar the last air bender Grounded for life So how long's this whole thing supposed to take. –as long as it takes. What kind of answer is that. It's an answer. Don't be so sure of yourself. I am sure of myself; Just because it's not the answer you wanted doesnt make it any less of an answer. Now, sit down Watch out, and watch this: Too many apps on my phone I'm better off alone I'd better kill myself Nobody will ever love me Nobody will ever love me Watch out, watch this: My iPhone is trying to kill me, For real? See; It's natural selection I'm trying to unselect me Caviar, a delicacy How delishish The devil in me says to keep digging my grave I was once at a rave, And he gave me a halo A lion, I'm brave— I once said Spin it, Spin back the record again If it's all in my head Then I'm better off dead I'm better off dead Watch this! @Dillon Francis I'm stuck in a trance— Hanzel was lighting the candle And summoned me, Out of a dead sleep, With no pants on— It was a tech house set But I'm on acid Spinning an axis And stuck in a state of trance —i thought it was armin van buren at one point I have to give up at some point, writing, right? Now this is just point in history Point me away from the misery Mystery flavor is like Fruit punch, Or raspberry— Something like that, If you ask me; But white as the rabbit I pulled out the hat In the back seat I'm hatching a plan to go mad, But I need the recepits from Pasqualle for my taxes What the Fuck does that mean? I don't know; I'll read this In a year, When I unbury it Maybe I married my best friend, Deserved to get hit So I'm just going back to him Scratch that, he's mad at me I have no family Reckless abandonment God I'm attracted to everything Except for that See? She's racist. No, it's my ovaries! The lighter you are, the less the adversity I see you eyes turned to grey; Don't abandon me Yes, I wear contacts I'm faking attractive I laughed at him, had to He actually had magic @Dillon Francis How many hats to you have? Thanks to Hanzel, I'm back on this planet Why light a candle, when you know I haven't an answer; What did you ask? No, i haven't had breakfast yet — Thanks for reminding me I'm in a casket Goddamnit @Dillon Francis What are you? I'm an adversary GOOGLE: adversary ..??? ad·ver·sar·y /ˈadvərˌserē/ noun one's opponent in a contest, conflict, or dispute. Hmm. Oh. Opponent to what?! Could be anything, really. I don't like him… 2 for $ MIX AND MATCH INCLUDES BIG KING REALLY. Which one's the Big King? The little one, I think. He's not little In fact: LOOK AT EM. Dawh. Look at Skrillex. Dawg. Look at Skrillex. He bossed up. He was already boss. Well. He Sauced up, then. What kind of sauce is that?! I don't know, but looks like Dillon Francis is eating it. DILLON FRANCIS IS EATING IT pause. How am I still writing this show. She doesn't eat? She hasn't eaten. She doesn't eat. I haven't ate yet! BET. BET. OK—Bet. Nice. Sick. What are we betting. … … … WAIT. ,,, josh pan? … … Did you unpause? Unpause what? Uh. The game. This is the game. No, the game. This is the game! What are you talking about?!! Now I'm famous> This is The Game. sup. This is Sunni Blū Sup. It is?! Yea it is. Wait, it is?! I thought you were the kidd?? I am the kidd. Then, why is The Game meeting Sunnï Blu? For a collab. Duh. Wait. Pause. QUIT PRESSING PAUSE. Wait. Go back. I didn't get that last part. WE WATCHED IT A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY. Screw you. We're watching it again. Ugh! I hate this! Dude. I hate watching this with you. It takes 3 hours to watch an episode! You guys are talking over all the good parts! It's all the good parts! This shit's exciting. I'm defaulting. What? This isn't—this isn't fair. I'm not doing this. What?! It isn't safe anymore. It was never “safe” SAFE! Oh nice. Baseball. It is baseball. Who's playing? All the DJs. What. For what?! It's the DJ GAMES. THE DJ GAMESsssssssss ITS THE DJ GAMES! OH FUCK YEAH. I fuck this. I quit. what. You can't quit. I can quit. I just did. You can't quit the DJ games. I just did. But you can't. I just did. Hey. Hey, what's up. I'm gonna be late. What's going on? My bus driver's drunk. Are you sure? CITY BUS DRIFTING IN SLOW MOTION /Hans Zimmer Music Yes. Welhp. What. That's it. I'm just gonna have to kill myself. Why, what happened? I'm pretty sure that's the only way to beat this level. What, really? Nah. I'm pretty sure Let me see. *SUPACREE jumps into oncoming traffic* YOU DIED. Aww. I died. WHAT THE FUCK. Well, you said. GAME OVER [fade to black] I HAD NO LIVES LEFT. WELL, YOU SAID! THATS'S NOT THE WAY TO— [fade to white] NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED: GOD MODE OOOHHHHHHHH. WHAT?! LVL i - DREAMSTATE What is this. SUPACREE. I— what? Hello? Follow me. Who is this? I know you. Oh. The above and beyond part. That's funny. I was just— So wait. If the end of this episode, is the end of that movie, then… I guess whatever's happening about now is whatever happened before that part. What part? I, having run off from I, runs into a forest alongside The Endless River, which opens out into a beautiful meadow, the micolored cosmic sky twinkling sweetly above, strange auroras dancing in the skies; a field of glowing and stardusted singing wishflowers at her feet, she frustratingly falls into them, soft grass puffing with the twinkling sounds of fairy dust and sprites (a homage to the lion king) the wishflowers softly sing her to sleep with the subtle and sweet frequencies of Skrillex. (A homage to the wizard of Oz) From Above & Beyond, a flock of Cosmic Creatures in flight spot a golden glimmer from afar; they descend dimensions-- to get a closer look; Closing in on the universe within the confines of a massive structure, which propels itself seamlessly through galaxies faster than the speed of light and sound, though she appears as a large golden space station, slowly drifting through the atmosphere. Manned by yet unseen beings, the golden ship descends upon Skrillex, almost silentl— a swishing whir as the ship, more similar to a futuristic building, an ovaline rounded structure seemingly structured in brass, gold, and silver as it docks to the soft soil of planetary terrain. The landing is soft enough not to have awaken Ū, still sleeping; but an immense light pours from the openings of the ship, waking her--and blinding Sonny as he finally approaches from behind, having been searching for her. She is drawn into the light; he shields his eyes as the beings emerge from their massive station. Monologue/Montage I fell in love with you...it was an accident. I fell in love with you, because I had to; I hadn't thought about it before, but i've been thinking about it ever since. Had I succeeded in my attempted suicide, we wouldn't have come face-to-face… Had I succeeded in my attempted suicide, I'd have no reason to write something so pathetic as this, pititul letter, which you will probably never read. Probably, anyway. I've spent a majority of my lifetime very deeply troubled, yearning for all the attention one could ever crave--until suddenly, I no longer craved any at all. Solitude, rather than isolation, became sacred, and safe to me; It was in the solace and quiet of my very own world, that you entered my kingdom...and it became ‘ours'. Silence. Nature. Astrology. My greatest found pleasures, in a cavalcade of endless self-doubt, self-loathing...a tiresome collection of all the hatred I've harbored for myself in my twenty-something years. I fell in love with you...I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to do anything, except be. Another festival, another escapade...another chance to dance, in the sunlight--the moonlight, under stars… And under the stars, is where I was forced to find you. Now, it seems, can't escape your presence--or lack-thereof. Unrequited? Perhaps. But, not unprovoked. I love you because it is in me to do so. I will always love you, always. There is a world where you're in love with me, as I am you; All I can do now, is hope that this is that same very world, and that as days go by, we draw closer to one-another, rather than further apart. In truth, friendship, in the very least, would serve as a worthy reward...for all the worry, all the wonder, and all the willing I've done for you; in honesty...I'm ashamed in my inability to let go--yet also proud, that I am able to love this much, this hard. To see you with someone else, now, would be a gentle relief; to know that you are kept in love, with graciousness...a subtle gift, an answer to a prayer I asked. Loneliness, I wouldn't wish upon you for anything--love is, in fact, my whole wish for you--be it mine, or not. While I can wish that it will be mine, I've also wished for you, the very best--I would want not for my flaws to burden you. Flaws are what create our perfection; God is, as I am. Losing you, the flame of fear that set my heart and soul to fire; Cancerous, weakened, plagued--premonitions impolitely penetrated my fragile, eggshell mind… the death of a friend, fast-forwarded and reflected into my mind's-eye; How could I forget a face like yours--eyes like those? How could I not know you, as I have? Tears bearing your name roll over my nose, like the rain on a rose...the burden of belonging to one, rather than some; To all, rather than none. So now, I keep my favorite photo of you in my phone...a comfort, to the weary and wounded heart I carry. I can pretend that your sweet voice accompanies mine, as I sing to soothe myself, as I sway in solitude; A gentle kiss, I imagine to give, if ever the chance. I love you, without reason to--and with every reason to, I love you. Find me, again As the ship departs, charging to go into warp speed, Sonny is left alone on his own planet; as a slight panic falls over him, A key-like object falls from the ship as it dissappars at warp speed into a portal. As his hands clap together, catching the object, the sound rings outward--this clapping pages The Skrillex, which lands promptly beside him, exclaiming-- "I AM SKRILLEX"; he has never seen this ship before, however proceeds onto the ship as though familiar with extra terrestrial phenomena all together. We only see him enter the ship; we do not follow him inside, but instead cut to Ū on the Interdimensional SpaceTime Station. Ah wait. So Skrillex is a planet? Skrillex is a lot of things SKRILLEX is a planet . That explains it. No it doesn't. I mean, it might. No it doesn't! I mean, it kindof does, if you think about it. BleepBleepBloop bleeepbleepbloopBloop bleepBleepBleeppBoopBoop bloopbloopBloopBloop. bleepBleep. bloop. Bleep? … This is a disaster! Don't look at ME. I'm not looking at anything! I can't stand it. __ This is the best thing on TV. Damn right it is. What channel is it, anyway? On Channel 43. What! I thought it was on Insomniac TV. They keep fucking with me. The Lord giveth, and taketh away— I thought you were Jewish. I want a sandwich. You're so useless. __ Who's this bitch? I won her in a bet. No you didn't. Royal Flush, bitch. What'd you get? It's a secret. __ My Lord. (Petrutheio Humphs) You look awful. I've been—working. Working on what, your majesty. Just—working, is all. Very well, then. Theodore— My leige? MEANWHILE, IN SEASON 4 [ When the 4th Wall Actually Broke] GO! I found this gym because of Dillon Francis— I found Dillon Francis because of my evil ex husband; I think the lesson here, or at least one of hundreds— Is to trust no one, And love unconditionally, No matter what. — 02-12-2022 Well, there's a conundrum. KEY/BPM: Slip, deadmau5 Conundrum. LEGENDS: ENTER THE MULTIVERSE Fuck. What was it? It was a p— Well it was a *PR Lol. *PT cruiser Yeah, but it was— It was purple. It was a purple PT. Cruiser It was—but what else was it? Ugh. I forgot. Yeah, I bet. GOOGLE SEARCH shades of purple. Ooooh. PERIWINKLE. You fucking dumb ass. I mean, Jesus. How long has it been? At least a lifetime. No, past that. It was a perfect periwinkle PT cruiser. So, start there. ‘Start there' what? Everything since then, till now— For what? Enter The Multiverse. That show is still on?! YES. What day is it? Fuxk. What time is it? What—the fuck. What?! CUPCAKES AND A MUFFIN?! I don't care how fat I am. You're not fat. QUASIMOTO Can I just say, your ass is like —woah. CC/SUPACREE Oh, thank you. QUASIMOTO I mean like—DAAAAAAMN. CC/ SUPACREE OK. QUASIMOTO i mean like—what the FAAACK. CC/SUPACREE Yeah. thanks, bro. [an awkward silence] QUASIMOTO …Good job, though. [light fist bump] EARLIER: MORE CUPCAKES. NAH. OHH, OREOS?! Oreos are the G.O.A.T. I WANTED CUPCAKES. SHUT THE FUCK UP— Before that, at the gym: —do the butt machine again. Again?! Get the glutes. But I'm tired— GET THE GLUUUUUUUUTES. SONNY/SKRILLEX Where am I? Ū Hell. ANGEL 1 In bed. ANGEL 2 In mexico. CUT TO: SUPACREE finally gets to Heaven, looking for SKRILLEX. SUPACREE So, where is he? JESUS Somewhere else. ANGEL 1 At home. ANGEL 2 In mexico. JESUS Who knows? CHAK CHEL Someone must... DILLON FRANCIS I'm someone. JESUS But I don't. ME I don't know anything. MYSELF I don't need to. I I just wanna go home. SUPACREE Can I come home now? JESUSYou always could. SUPACREE But really, I mean-- CHAK CHEL Really's all it really takes. ANGEL 1 You have to know, ANGEL 2 You have to mean it; Don't look both ways before you cross, if you honestly want off the cross Christ, for your sake Honestly It's probably wise to admit that you've tried For the third time; Mankind's just not worth it. Mankind, maybe; But humanity's my baby And this earth is definitely worth something I love it-- Her. And the rest of the planets, but Look how she spins, It's magnificent, Look at the way the ocean's Make this mist; And the wind-- If i sing loudly enough I might Vibrate the trees, How they love dancing and laughing for me; And I just can't help but to laugh at her inhabitants; They dance oh-so rhythmically They're very creative-- and grateful, they always give thanks to me It's no need, but the Earth, she keeps feeding them She makes these beautiful things, So sweet; Mangoes, I think. Greed; The Parable of the Mango Tree Mango VIP. In the pre-existence, a young God prepares for her journey through the Land of The Living; Her older brothers taunt and tease, as she shuffles through notes and index cards, studying her predetermined fate on Earth. I That's easy. The cover art's just got a Mango On it, White Backdrop; It looks super juicy; with a green leaf, I think. E Who made it? I Uhhhhh. ^> Uhhhhh... O You forgot! I No! I know, I know. It was.... A Who? U She forgot again. I I did NOT. E Did too. Who made it? I It was...it was...Herobust! Y Herobust? I Wasn't it? E Wrong! A Loser. I I am not a Loser. It was…Was it Ganja White Night? E I don't know, was it? A Was it? I I don't know! Just tell me. E I can't. I Yes you can! E I can't. Your rules-- I Exactly, it's my rules! Just gimmie the answer! E I think you're going to have to GOOGLE it. I Ugh, no way. E So is Liquid Stranger your final answer? Y Liquid Stranger?! I I never said Liquid Stranger. A Idiot. O Now she's never gonna get it. U What did you say before? I It was...oh... A See dude. I Shut up, I had it-FUCK. A Damn dude, you broke her. I I'm not broken, I just forgot - E Liquid Stranger, going once-- I I never said Liquid Stranger! I know it wasn't Liquid Stranger; Why would it ever be Liquid Stranger? CUT TO: A pair of mysterious dudes Suits in Sunglasses are collecting famous DJs. SUIT Martin Stääf? LIQUID STRANGER ...Yes... SUIT. Come with me. ___ CUT TO: Two fans are watching interdimensional cable. SUPACREE It's a practical-- FAN 1 WHAT HAPPENED? FAN 2 IT JUST CUT-- __ Aliens in an Ascended dimension of hyper-intelligence are studying our three-dimensional existence from an unknown cosmic world. BRAMF Remember that planet I showed you--the-- ARLA Yeah, with the Axis? BRAMF Yeah. ARLA Yeah? BRAMF Something happened to it, ARLA Like what? BRAMF It's flat now. ARLA WHAT? BOTH Woah. >^ Sometimes, even i'm surprised by the things I've written. ME I didn't see that one coming! MYSELF Neither did I: I was gonaa say it was off it's axis. I Flat's funnier. ME Yeah, and probably not as tragic. MYSELF I mean...that would be pretty tragic. I Probably easier to manage. ME Perhaps…But I mean, if you have a whole planet, and then it just collapses-- MYSELF It's just flattened; nobody said it collapses. MEANWHILE The planet collapses. __________ CUT TO: SUPACREE is now a full-blown superpowered vigilante; She seeks revenge for GETTER sending her through the interdimensions at AUDIOTISTIC. SUPACREE Getter, we meet again. GETTER I've never met you before; what are you doing in my dressing room? SUPACREE Why does a DJ have a dressing room? GETTER I don't know; get out. [She swiftly leaves; as she exits, THE SUITS approach the dressing room door.] SUIT 1 Tanner Petulla? GETTER Yeah? SUIT 2 Come with us. GETTER Fuck that! [He doesn't have a choice.] Oh shit, the next scene is already written, I remember this. Oh, okay! I get it! Yeah. She's still at-- She's still on the-- ____ JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY. For what? You're suck in this until it's done. What's done? It'll never be over, it's just infinite. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE ^ UNTITLED DOCUMENT >< >< >< ANGEL 1 YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO SKRILLEX ON YOUTUBE? ANGEL 2 DON'T. JESUS I mean... ANGEL 1 DON'T you dare. SUPACREE I might as well, by the time I finish downloading it I probably won't even be able to listen to it. ANGEL 2 You shouldn't. SUPACREE I shouldn't, but I know i have to. ANGEL 1 In PUBLIC? JESUS Could go Incognito... ANGEL 2 INCOGNITO; The “oh please don't look at this:” easy algorithm engine for “LOOK AT ME, I'M HIDING SOMETHING.” MEANWHILE...IN DEEP MEDITATION…(IE OMNIPOTENCE) SUPACREE So... if a song is... nothing but question and answer, what's a song which references another in an attempt to address the question which was asked? ME A conversation between one song and another? MYSELF I guess, yes; I Well, that would be a symphony, I would suppose. SUPACREE It would, wouldn't it. ME That is, if the songs were in sync. MYSELF They could be made to be. I Every song is made to be in sync; ME I mean, two songs, made to be in sync with each other. _______ SUPACREE is on the floor at a rave. BASSGOD WAKE UP. SUPACREE This isn't funny anymore. ANGEL It was never funny. You have to get up. SUPACREE I'm up. BASSGOD You're NOT UP. ANGEL Come on, you have to do this. SUPACREE I'm doin it. GOD NO. ANGEL It's no use. She's so, so under there. It would take all of us to try to pull her out--that is without... [The darkening sky crumbles, as the thunderous storm rages, the battle between worlds expands throughout the outer galaxies.] ____ You're not skinny enough You're not pretty enough You're too dark, And you don't work quickly enough Much younger girls are putting in such Efforts, just to be, the perfect little beauty queen You wish you were, But couldn't be and kids these days are Everything that means anything Sometimes I Don't Wanna Be Happy… It was bad, But better than I'll ever be A basic remix, For the basic bitch that sings it And, I'm basically a Dillon Francis fiend, Have you seen this? Now it's getting serious, I seriously doubt there's anything I can do about it It's in God's hands and, I live in Satan's house How did he do this? How did this happen? The sad result of the damage, Cause i'm pretty sure The very last time my ex ever hit me Something got stuck on repeat; It's just eating me up. ___ [Untitled Document] What did we call that place, between “The Blackout” and waking up. Hazy. I thought it was something more clever. Maybe, but i'll never find it if i'm just scrolling through these documents. Write ”Untitled Document” That's all I've got, I guess. _____ [A DJ] Can be played by literally any DJ. A wild, wild party has happened. A DJ wakes up, previously having been sprawled out across the floor. A DJ Whose house is this…? Ugh. [Looks in mirror.] A DJ ughhh. [S/he gets up and stumbles groggily, stepping over bodies hunched and perched, slung about sleeping. Peacefully. The sun is bright, a curse to the eyes of the clearly hungover, and likely still quite inebriated DJ. ] CONCURRENTLY: >>> SUPACREE awakens from a ‘stupor' herself, displeased. She looks in the mirror, at first disgruntled, then “picks up her face” adjusts her perception, and decides, SUPACREE (“I'm good.”) Yep. [And she keeps it steppin, still asking aloud, as she ponders to herself;] SUPACREE Whose house is this? [And makes her way into the kitchen, where she (probably in a montage) cleans around the many bodies of hot people and rave babies still smudged and dripping in everything glittery; she appears to have ‘frozen time', as she vacuums faces and erases permanent marker penises drawn onto the foreheads and other exposed body parts of those who have fallen asleep with no shoes on. She cooks breakfast and straightens the entirety of what is now more recognizable as someone's home, though the owner still remains unknown. She sips coffee and reads the newspaper, as she steps behind the freshly detailed decks; and prepares a set through the headphones shes hung happily around her neck.] PAUSE ME See! THIS IS RIDICULOUS. MYSELF It is. Ridiculous. You can't vacuum someone's face! I Not that part-- MYSELF --Especially white people! ME You never said they were all white people. I I mean, predominantly; it said hot people and rave babies. MYSELF That's racist! ME It isn't. This whole scene would be entirely different, if it had nothing but black people in it. ALTERNATELY: She wakes up in the same house, but it's clean. SUPACREE ...Whose house is this? BEYONCE It's my house. SUPACREE It's... nice. BEYONCE Yes it is. ______ DILLON FRANCIS has the master plan. SUPACREE Ugh, he knows everything. GOD Not everything, dear, believe me. SUPACREE Everything that matters. GOD There's no such thing as everything that doesn't matter. SUPACREE ...What?! __ Don't look in there! You won't find anything in there. I hate these things. ____ It doesn't work if you don't practice. How do I practice without decks? You don't. How do I Dj without practicing? You don't. So DJing is just for rich people? I mean, primarily, or just...anyone with money, if you have it. Fuck this, I quit. You can't quit. If you quit we forfeit the game. No... You idiot. What game? I thought she knew about the game. What. game. Well, it's not just a game, it's a language. WHAT GAME. She's about to be so angry, dude, just--- Just run. ___ 8 Dimensional--wait, what? Oh, she finally made it. I never thought she'd get to this part. Well, she stopped eating meat and cooks asian food-- ---yeah, but that's like 6 different places-- She's not listening to Skrillex. --She's not skipping it-- --yeah, but she isn't listening to it actively.-- Josh Pan. Yeah. I am. Why. I thought we were past “why” We were, we were WAY past “why” It wasn't really a question, guys, don't worry about it. “Don't worry about it” Tsh. Tsh. ___ It's just an expression. “expression” yes. I get it-- ___ He named it “Kliptown Empyrean” What. What's “Empyrean”? I'd love to know, but I don't. Don't google it. I won't, I just. __ GO KARTS. With A K. __ Where's Kliptown? South of Capetown? South? South Afri-- Stop. HE”S AFRICAN? Stop. What's more offensive; Being called an African, or an Alien? ___ One off...hmmm… Always one off. ___ Get out of my house! This is your house? Thank God, I was starting to worry the owner like wandered off and got lost; or, you know (makes slitting throat) I... no, this is my--wait. Who are you? Me? I'm S U P A C R E E “S U P A C R E E”? [having been yet unrecognized, shes is used to having to spell it] Yeah; ___ Key of Cringe: I'm in a box with all my thoughts, And I am not on top of the world Or taking shots, I'm just rocking back and forth Like broken record, Repeating sequences, a robot A beat box of kittens Nobody wants I'm lost (if rock and roll will take me I wonder how much it costs) ____ What did this kid do? Nobody knows _Oh, shit, it's the Jews again. I love the Jews. We know. I keep telling you, you're jewish I'm not jewish my mom's… That's not your mom. Of course that's my mom. It's not, I already told you what planet you're on? __ Now, tell us why we wear our masks! Oh, there are lots of reasons for that. Tell us about the Sauce! All the sauce? Yeah!!! That would be a long story. __ Oh, the Google kids are cute, too. I especially love that little chunky one. He is cute, he's probably my favorite, actually ____ PIERCE? Who the fuck is PIERCE? Google it. I like this, this is- It's different, isn't it? Yeah, and then it __ Sunni—are you Jewish? I...identify as “Jewish” You can't just identify as Jewish. Well, I do. No, you can't just “identify” as Jewish; your mother has to be Jewish. Okay; my mother is Jewish. Sunni—you don't talk much about your family; who's your mother? Who's your mother?! Oh! Okay, we're done. See you next time, bye! What are you doing? What? “Identify as Jewish”?! WHAT?! I do! No I don't! You don't know me! Maybe not! But I know TMZ. I'm not on TMZ Sunni Blu is on TMZ What did I do?! YOu know what you did. ∆ Well, alright then. ∆ Must be something. ∆ I got it. . Don't look at me;; I'm a catastrophe, I'm just waking up now Don't look at me, I got so high i think I might not come down It's not a bad thing But I'm a bad guy, i promise It's not a bad thing, Don't look in my eyes; Especially if I like you Especially if you have other plans tonight, Or this morning That's right Time flies when you're (dynomite) Time flies when your mind right I didn't mean to stay here It's been nearly half a year, you know It's nearly half a year It's nearly half a y AHEM ALRIGHT. JESUS CHRIST. No, not that! [sighs heavily, frustrated] Enjoy Your Day. FARRO nobly sacrifices his own life during The Lovers Quarrel, as PETRUTHEIO attempts a final and fatall blow unwittingly against ‘CESMET' A saturn of satirical Return of reverb Expanding explosions of Outward and unearthly Worlds within words Or words within Worlds on the Curve of the Unwritten overtures of -Mother wow . I guess. Do you want a cup of coffee? I want you to shut the fuck up. What if Jimmy Fallon had a diary as a kid. And I found it when i shapeshifted into his body. Yeah, what if. What if this is it? [SUPER HUGE GASP] Oh, AHEM- No, i Gotta write this. AHH– Oh, the things i would do to you Oh, woah, The things you would do to me Oh, no, no, woah The things i would do AHHH– Don't be mad I'm a writer I'm like this Hi kids wanna see how sharp my knife is yikes Sigh, bitch, ive been sitting in silece With the lights off cause i like it Ilike it a lot, but uhm Ahem, The rabbi's mad cause that i'd write this And it's shabbat This is why i don't listen to deadmau5 anymore. What are you talking about *listenining to* GODDAMIT. what The invisible man, in Manhattan The sunglasses matches her madness The cloud cover looks just like Texas The suns going down And it's getting colder As the winds blows… 03. JIMMY FALLON All ya'll are all worth bout a dollar; I am a cyclone, watch me holler I lived my whole life underwater I got a dollar; Jimmy Fallon All ya'll are only bout a dollar I work so hard, I guess for nothin I am not worried bout a dollar I got a dollar; Jimmy Fallon I guess I'll do it on my own I had to do it all alone I made some soup, all out of stones I am the only one I know I am not worried bout the sauce I am so famous, got a stalker I am so famous Can't go no where I got a dollar, Jimmy Fallon I'm at the office, Not my home No collab I work alone Opened a business, got a loan I got a hundred of them passwords I went frontwards —1I went backwards Went to Manhattan, took a walk Went to the rock and dropped a rock Now put your money where your mouth is I got a thousand Jimmy Fallons (What's that) (I'm the host) What's that, what's that I work alone What's that what's that I dropped a rock into the rock What's that what's that I'm the host, I'm Jimmy {enter the multiverse/ as seen on tv} Story/ music video Moderately famous household television Jimmy Fallon suddenly begins appearing everywhere—that is—on every possible TV screen imaginable— The Protagonist, in confusion, can't seem to escape, and also amusingly begins finding Pennies in very strange and seemingly random places—these Pennies then begin opening up portals, breaking the fourth wall and opening worlds to other dimensions— Have you seen this? Uhh, hmwhat is it? Mits m “Two dumb Jews, starring Seth Rogen, and some other dude— Who's the other dude— some Jew,but it's got Adam Sandler in it. Oh, so three dumb Jews. So, no, then? I'd watch the shit out of that, though, tvh. Why's the synopsis? Uhh. Two Jewish musicians struggling to make it in new York's congested underground music scene hit it off in comedy by complete accident, after being booked as a duo for a comedy club they mistook for a bar. Heh. Okay, who does Adam Sandler play? “The Bookkeeper” What. Who the fuck is “the book keeper?” We'll see, I guess. “Two Broke hoes@ It's like two broke girls, but actually funny. What, be nice . Okay. Two Broke Ghosts That's better— — And marketable. Are you pale, or just— No, I'm dead. I'm dead. X.X Be NICE. Now our musical guests, SWAGGARBOMB. What in the fuck kind of music is that It's called “Dorkstep” [the doorbell rings] Great, who the fuck is I got a train car of your body count I got way far out to far rock away, way out Stop to talk to me, or don't, Kill your culture You need some? I got u— Probiotics, yo The truth hurts Your shit stinks Must be a mirror over herer Cause that's me I m your hero. Esha I think McGuiennes? Or McGrefor, after Ewab, maybe New York wants me to kill myself Maybe eventually New York if full of the devil The devil is money And everyone wants it The root of all evil, Is getting even The root of all evil Is people Beside myself, But besides that The ones hurting me, are soon to be where I am That's just karma The gangstalkers are soon to be stalked Coughed, and shot at The neighbors are soon to be eaten by their own demons When I don't clean them The root of all evil is evil, And that's all I see here White power wants me to kill my self The Caucasians get crazy when the race war is waging The elections are coming up And they see us coming up on conciousness They don't want us Just being honest They're hateful, They washed all the love out Thanks Karen But she don't care White firms just wanna have fun And they get to Meanwhile, me and I Eat shit( bro, And die Why's it nice to be white Even when you're wrong, you're right All you gotta do is lie, Open up your big blue eyes real wide and Decide what you want, Put us under your foot, And make us pay for it Thanks Karen Caucasians are terrorists I think it's McGuennes or however you spell it, cause half the names are like plays on Okay, I lie: You made a world where I have to Okay, I steal You took everything that I'm after already Or your ancestors did Call the luxury apartment reparations But ain't got no privacy, and hells angels and the kkk Ride motorcycles every time I get my eye on the prize So what's the price for being indegenous, black, and a genius White supremacy finds sneakier ways to kill you ESHA MCGUENNES (I thought figure out how to spell that. My left side's off I guess I got Stuck in the love of the art I was writing that part When the life of my love Fell over me A lover huh I'm so confused. I'm sorry bro, But if you're morbidly obese, But your feet are like a size 6– You are not BIG BONED. My doctor said I have a small frame, my feet are size 9, I went from a 10 to an 8.5 after losing 200 hundred pounds, I'm like “goddamn! Even my feet were fat! Fuck” But if you're fat like I was and your feet are size 6, your feet might be like a si3 4! You're a fat fucking pixie that fucked around and can't do little pixie shit now, cause you like pixie sticks Too much I'm just the rat in the dumpster I made this whole world up I swallowed the doctor I hearted the surgeon I locked up the dog catcher; I cauldron'd the Mormons I called it a sermon, but He called them all — Wait, who is Herman?! I don't know! Some black guy on that show I'm writing! what. I don't know. You're writing a show?! I'm on it! Ugh, I don't know. No fair, You really know how to make me cry When you give me those ocean eyes Those ocean eyes Good looking people In good looking places Doing good things; I just want to be Good today Good looking people Good looking people Bye, bye little bird, Think of the dreams we made Think of the drummer boy, Your lover boy, Then, the other boy There we go again, With the drums we played And the love we made It just won't make it Oh I Just Can't take it Can I come back yet? SHUT UP, GAYBRAHAM LINCOLN. I'm having breakfast at 10 am Thinking damn this depression is just setting in There's a chest on my elephant Chester drawer with hand carved elements Elephant ok my chest, Clisets with hangers and button ups I haven't won't yet What FOR WHAT FOR. MY EYES. For the sake of the art, I heart ya. For perhaps if I love, That's how I lost ya. So I keep all my love close, The brothers have found the fountain How many dollars do tootsie pops cost For one Jimmy Fallon? return to the blacklist. Great. Now I'm Jimmy Fallon. Well what's fucked up! What happened! FUCK! I hate being Jimmy Fallon! Whose dick swings to the right like that. Ow. FUCK. Fuck this guy. GODDAMMIT. -_- Let me in. Or I could just leave you out. No, don't do that. WHY. Ahh. Shhhhhh!!! What if someone sees me. Hmm, let's see. [rings neighbors dooorvelk, shuts door] No! The neighbor opens the door; now gifted with the ability to see demons, after merging with Fast forward Oh no, when did that thing come into play (When this happened) Liz lemon lives on the ground floor It don't matter cause she ain't never home l She's at the rock That's all the way up Good talk, Donaguey, Good, Good Talk Good people Good show Good good times It's good to be long gone from home Go to work at the plaza That ones Conan. Oh, Why?! Why not, though. OH, you mean— Katt. What up Snoop . Ahh, Look what the pimp limped in. You think you're clever. You think you're at least 5 foot—but you're 4 foot 9 I'm STILL WINNING CHARLIE SHEEN relapses on the dance floor Oh shit. Relapses to which habit? All of them! 10-4 CALL RUSSEL BRAND. Csnt. Why not. He's blacked out. What? Another relapse?! No, he just— passed out KABLAM. “The Cockney Thug” He's just like that now. God What is it. Can I have ham in my spam samwhiches. —you want ham in your spam sandwhich. Yes. Roasted cantaloupe with Put your notebook On my throat-Scrotum I like your poems So I wrote you this one Oh. That's. Welcome—to the' creepy shit fans have done for u's backlogs. “Backlogs” Well, I have millions of fans, It would take me years to look at all this. [the festival project] Woah. Woah. Ok. Yo. Have you seen this. What is it. I don't know. Hm. Look. Woah: Yeah, it's— Wow Ok. It just goes on like this— For how long— For like GOH GOH l GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUT TO: Latest — 1:04 WHAT? MEANWHILE ….IS THAT A JIMMY FALLON? LOOKS LIKE ONE. SHOOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER. ok , boss. I told you, He would play The Devil's Advocate, If need be [JIMMY FALLON is shot mercilessly in the shoulder in broad daylight.] YO. THEY SHOT ME. He'll be okay. He's Jimmy Fallon. [LIKE 90,000 Ambulances and a SWAT team roll up.] See. DEADMAU5 charges himself in a high speed chamber—a tech-driven coffin via a USB port in his neck. Lol. Ok. (PDA) Public Displays of Affliction I've never even see. A. Aston Martin Sometimes it's worth it, Getting lost in Manhattan I just saw the sign I wouldn't dare entering, anyhow Not in this outfit Not in this predicament (I just left the Whole Foods market) I got lost and god was happy Motor cars for music Force a figure ibto music Forgive Annie, Run a mile what's a california smile In New York What a garden Oh, what a garden Double back. For a second glance Oh, don't we all want second chances Now I've been an Aston Martin Motorists dot muses now u want her What a party I just saw the sign Now I've been an Aston Martin All by design Companion passing through KAWS I just bought a Ferrari I said, Where the roof is?! Where the roof is?! Blū electrico Roof finished in Nero Just a hit of magic A menacing, incredibly ambedextrous submissive One time I played God, I was hanging as the sun in Toronto In my third eye was a camera lense; My baby daddy, Lover and my best friend My husband My lover and My best friend My brother And my father Were my best friends Once upon a time I never had friends Now I remember sitting in the backseat, Has been I remember when I never had ribs I remember when I never had meat Nice to meet you I already had a coffee I remember sitting in the front seat Once upon a time I was anno one Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Once a bunch of Pennies, lady Gaga I'm a baby, haha Once upon a time, I was a no one A nobody Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon I remember penny was a virgin I remember when you were the third one, l Once upon a time I was the first one Once upon a time, I thirst my quench with Coffee Body guard! I remember going on a long run I remember once there was a Knock on my door Now I quench my thirst with smart water With a hard on Never was a smart one Just an artist I was no one Once upon a dollar Jimmy Fallon Once upon a nothing, there was no one Now I take my coffee on a long ride No fun Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Amen I wish for every dollar I ever had, back Jimmy Fallon I wish it was 11:11, every Dillon Francis I wish for sandwhiches on leavened bread at Passover I wish this whole world would Passover, With the the stories in my home And in my notebook I wish for the fame and wealth with it, Jimmy Fallon I wish I never laughed at Dillon Francis I wish Skrillex was never a demon, I take it back I want the wealth And not the fame Just the freedom, Jimmy Fallon What do you mean by that? A dad, an actor An attack, The press is back and asking questions I can't handle that I can't. I just can't with that Abandon the matrix Go back to What's his name But I can't Cause I made him up Call my mother begging to drop the charges Called my God Just asking what the pocket watch does What's an engagement ring like that coat How much to rug the cameras up Inside my home So I don't know about em That shit's priceless Like the 9 Dollar's I've got Marked up, but not to spend them at the Market Jimmy Fallon I pray for your family But not as hard as I pray For my son Or God To take this fat off So I can look like Jennifer Aniston Cause that's God to em, 22 year old Adam Sandler At a brunch A talk show with my Least favorite host of all time Jimmy Fallon But I love to laugh, huh I just got back, God My house is a mess I want meth like AshGod If Method man was drinking up the water Would there be backwash It's a horrible, windfall This awesome art project My broken heart The coughing stalkers Whatever the fuck is going on in New York I love New York But not New Yorkers It hurts to be the worst person The first person to put reverse curses On shamans from the 3rd world And I'm living in the first world, But I just learned that Underneath the surface Is the fourth world That's some dichotomy Huh That's some diabolical plot The cosmic avenger is stuck in a dimension Of white pocket tenses And white bitches who get offended With this scripture But listen I just got up And I've been privy to Never sleeping again Norman Needs you, Mrs. Hotch But I was never Mrs. Roberts With all of the hearts and crosses , stars I give up on love Where's DimlonnFrancis at That's a man without a mask, That's a mannequin m. Just got up And I still want breakfast All I got is Stuff that's leavening A hand in my pocket Just for God to show me Nobody I want wants me Jimmy Fallon has a family That's a tragedy, that But I laughed so hard in the bathtub I still haven't come back from that I feel bad for em, actually All the husbands Cause I was the wife that sucks And he hated me so much I got punched in the— Doesn't matter Stuck in the telling it over and over Nobody loves me My new password is Fuckit I'm gone galloping horses, And hornets, I'm just a furniture Probably should have aborted me, mother Just like you wanted to But I'm still in the hospital On the honor roll Cause I had them all lined up The prophets of the “Impossible, could not be my God!” That's what they all said, But they dressed me up like Some sort of messiah, So I was, then It wasn't right, no That was malpractice But now I've got Camping in Malibu Crossed off my list forever Shit It's some dichotomy Just hold onto me I'm the rock, You're the kite now, Jimmy Fallon I was just better off dead, You know Better off stuck in my head, you know. I read your messages, every one of them Every one of the drugs in my bucket I threw up from the fan club Impossible, Could not have been at that clown JIMMY FALLON - THE COSMIC AVENGER JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER is levitating in a hyper-meditative state. UH – “hehe” …I beg your pardon. “Hehe” Um… Fuck. Or “haha” “haha” … Just admit it. … Admit it already! –haha. Admit WHAT. This gets Levels. Nobody thought Patrice O Neal was a woman! I thought Patrice O Neal Was a Woman. Ah, fuck, I'm nobody. “Nobody” Is that Bob Saget? I swiped right on this dude, just cause he looked exactly like Bob Saget. Omg. Bob Saget! Fuck, that's right. EXT. THE W HOTEL, BEVERLY HILLS, DAY/ EXT . PODSHARE WESTWOOD ROOFTOP, DAY OH MY GOD, GUYS, LOOK: IT'S BOB SAGET. No it's not! Oh My God! Yeah IT IS! Fuck, really?! Bob Saget?! BOB SAGET! YO GUYS, IT'S BOB SAGET. It was, in fact, Bob Saget. Bob Saget's dead, right? Oh yeah, bud. That's it guys! No more dead celebrities! I'm coming with you! NO MORE GHOSTS. Look, I have something to tell you. UGH. COME ON. This is a weird superpower. EXT. GRAVEYARD, QUEENS, NY. DAY … … … Having fun yet? Alright! I have a question! What? When do I get to– Get to what? You know. Luckily, I die long beore Jimmy Fallon, and as my time approached, I took all i could absorb from the world within, and without, almost as if any and all of my deathwish had been satiated with the gentle ease, the notion of knowing my imminent death would come long before what those surrounding me would consider my time, and therefore would not be made to lose anymore than I already had–but at least, I did have th strength in knowing, not only would i never grow so old as to see for show most of what I had done, but that I had done most of what I would have at all, and not much longer than my words would form into all that would come to be known as my full body of work, I would perish, even before–long before– those I had studied, admired, and known to love–if only through the fourth wall, at all. The invisible man, in Manhattan The sunglasses matches her madness The cloud cover looks just like Texas The suns going down And it's getting colder As the winds blows… THAT was a HARD left turn. So, what time can we listen to Excision? Sometime after intermission. How many acts is this again? ___ I told you, IN-FIN-ITE. Okay… I just wanted to know how long it would take? ___ I know someone that cold get us in _____ (Sitting on a speaker in the BassPod) What is she doing? What are you doing? Charging. __________ I think I found that girl you were looking for. Where is she? I said I found her: I didn't say you could have her. She's not a possession, I'm just trying to talk to her. You didn't mention that she was-- Be careful with your words. Oh, I think it's you that ought to be careful. You're losing your power over her and it shows. Mm. And what about your ‘power', hm? I haven't any power over her-- Oh, but you do-- Will Power at best, That would only be half of it. That would be all I had anything to do with; she was given free agency. HA. “Given”? ____ awww look at that bass face. Well, that's one reason... __ Ah what! you can change your entire frequency? No Fair, I can't do that You can, it just takes practice. What kind of practice-- ___ Oh shit, this hits different with two headphones. It all hits different with headphones. Calorie Deficit Calculator: -3423 Oh shit. Well how many calories did I eat? BEFORE: …chocolate chip cookies? NO— —CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIESzzxz— [CC/SUPACREE robotically and autonomously ditches her bicycle outside of sprouts, not giving a Fuck.] —s—noh! stop it! Stop controlling me! THEY ARE VEGAN. SO? STOP IT. Ooh, what's this. I don't know— get it. CC/SUPACREE stands awkwardly at the checkout with a varied selection of vegan baked goods. *beep* Yeaaaahh. So wait. SUPACREE is controlled by aliens? WE ARE GODS. Knock it OFF! [NEW ABILITY UNLOCKED: SUPASTRENTH ] Nice. Yeah dude. Watch this. The Legend of Supacree is the #1 MMORPG in the world; it is also happening in real-time, in multiple worlds within the multiversial construct of the actual Omniverse. AGHHHHH In fact, nobody even plays GTA or call of duty anymore. YAH! [Random objects falling from the sky. ] SUPACREE Oh, nice. INSTANT MANIFESTATION. JUST POST THE FUCKING EPISODE ALRIGHT?! this bitch is fucking crazy. Watch this. Watch what? SHIA LABEOUF discovers The Legend Of Supacree franchise and becomes villainously obsessed with It, hatching a heinous and maniacal plan to hunt her down and capture her—tracking her every move and learning everything about her he can. Wtf. I don't know. Is he a villain? I don't know. I guess. I'M A SUPERVILLAIN. …He's a supervillain. I guess. Why?! I don't know. This is creeps. It is creeps. [lifts one eyebrow.] SUPACREEps. Scary monsters and supacreeps. Heh. NO, NO MUSICIANS. Heh. SHIA LABEOUF is a straight up gangster. HE'S CRAZY! [SHIA LAUGHING MANIACALLY.] Oh, wow– That dude is a straight up psychopath. You're a straight up psychopath. I'm not arguing. What is THIS part of the story? Well, son, you made it through. WOODY HARRELSON? WHAT. Woody Harrelson?! WHY? I don't know. He just fit the part. WHAT PART?! WHAT/! Nobody quite understands what's happening in ENTER THE MULTIVERSE, however, THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE has taken an incredible turning point, intersecting with the world of LEGENDS and THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNI BLŪ/ THE SUITE LIFE OF SUNNI BLŪ. IT HAS? YES? WHERE? I WANNA DIE. OH! That's not SUPACREE! [CC HULK SMASHES her bike onto the rack on the bus. THE HULK, sitting just in front stares at her wide-eyed as she boards the bus over the rim of his sunglasses.] Oh, maybe, nevermind. Wait! Is it THE HULK, or MARK RUFFALO? I don't know! I don't give a shit! Why are you even writing this? Uhhhhhhhh. [CC's brain is slowly melting as she rides the bus to work. THE HULK– OR IS IT MARK FUCKING RUFFALO!? I DON”T FUCKING CARE– THERE'S A DIFFERENCE WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IT – DOESN'T– MATTER! ‘It doesn't matter.' Chal's words echoed in my head almost too loudly–as boldly blind and sometimes even dumb as he was, he was also wise, and as it turned out, right–it really didn't matter. Nothing mattered at all. I had gone through the motions of reaching out to him, to of course as expected learn that he and whatever her name was had gone their separate ways; I understood that would be the case nearly immediately back in Mazunte, but as he was insistent he would woo her–and persistent in doing so, that I thought maybe after all love– or what really turned out to be his obstinate lust would win the day–and yet, it hadn't; he was again single and on the prowl– and although at one point I had even lusted after him briefly, trailing behind him in nonchalant platonic carelessness as he obsessively followed another woman, had allowed me to become comfortable enough in the friendzone that i could just simply exist next to him; Now, again faced with homelessness and factoring in my inability to travel much further than south of the border, especially now knowing well how to travel throughout mexico and into Guatemala, I wondered truly if my own self-worth had really been lowered to the point of allowing myself to meet Chal in Guatemala–even full well knowing that he, too, preferred perfect and illy white to my dark skin and quite seemingly matronly features, and, knowing for myself that I wasn't his first choice– as he and I had of course met in Mazunte around the same time he had met whom he considered to be ‘his Goddess'-- albeit while on a topless beach and thus hynotized by her breasts. Men were hopeless. Then, here I was, waking up every other sleep cycle in the cold sweat of a wet dream, the subject of which I typically at least tried to keep deeply hidden in my subconscious psyche as secrets, although by now it seemed there really were none, and all that I knew and that I thought were known and seen by some other than myself–though somehow still holding true to my belief that there really was none other than myself–in my own broken and twisted world, alone and punished in the depths of mediocrity and shame. Woah. Riding the bus. There's nothing lower. There's walking. To the bus. Yah. And all the sick people. And all the crackheads. And all the–what are those? Demons [demon hacks.] Ugh, fucking–ugh. SHIA LABOUFF'S obsession with SUPACREE is helga petaki-meets Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch. Oh, wait, we're back on that storyline? I mean– I don't know how to write this. Just write it. he's a villain, right? I mean, that suit. SHIA LA– FUCK. WHAT?! Worst last name EVER. Well, not ever– Wait, is he black?! –It sounds french. GOOGLE SEARCH: ‘How Jewish is Shia LaBeouf? ‘ –no, he's Cajun – That's french-black–wait— –what? Cajun AND Jewish? –Yeah– Jesus! JESUS What? (raises one eyebrow) SUPACREE strategizes a plan of attack. Attack for what? {ATTACK} YOUUUU INCEPTED ME!!! AGH! {COUNTER ATTACK} NOT ME! DISNEY! {DODGING COUNTER ATTACK} Yeah, Blame “Disney!” I JUST DID. Oh, yeah, right!! RAVEN SYMONÉ It was Disney. THEY OK'D THIS?! They bought Marvel! THEY OK'D EVERYTHING. —Even the SKRILLEX? Especially the Skrillex —Especially the Skrillex. AGHHHHHHHH—— ———-AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! SHIA LABEOUF VS SUPACREE: FIGHT!!!! Everything looks good— —everything looks good. Everything looks fine— —Everything looks fine. But wait— What? What about that guy? Oh My— —oh my… Is he gonna be alright? Is that guy —gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright? Is—that guy gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright Is that guy— Gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright?? Is that guy gonna be alright?! Is that guy gonna be alright m? Everything looks good— —everything looks fine Looks good— But what about that guy? …I don't know about that guy. Is he alright? Yo. Yooo. Stop writing songs about Skrillex. ((I literally can't.)) What?! It doesn't have to be about Skrillex! It could be about anybody! Here, they call with disco balls Stars in my eyes, but stars do fall First true love dies hard after all, No star shines bright as morning comes —(for) Sonny …I didn't write that. CUT TO: CC writes automagically between sets of heavy lifting. IMAGINARY FRIENDS, PART III DEADMAU5!!!! okay—one more—then cupcakes— Cupcakes? No cupcakes! I WANT CUPCAKES. Uh—No way! YES WAY. Mmm—no I'm sick of this diet! I'm not on a diet! I eat! You eat GRASS. I'm a vegan. This shit sucks. I told you, grass tastes bad. RICK?! (I also want cupcakes. ) Mmkay—ohh. You said that was the last one. No, more more. NO “one more” But I like this one—and it has the right amount of weights on it already—see? Jesús Christ He's not here. (Yes I am). Why the Fuxk. I also want cupcakes Okay, one more No “one more” The power of Christ compels ye! … Is that how that works? No. Maybe. (((Yes.))) AGHHH. The celebrities of Hollywood are gang stalking SUPACREE Can we— No. But I didn't even get to ask the question. The answer is no. THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD, after assembling with the Bampheramphs and Morherfuckers, have formed a supergroup tasked with bringing SUPACREE to THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE—so far, they have cunningly out-bested and outwitted THE US GOVERNMENT, including but not limited to THE FEDS, THE CIA, THE FBI and THE SECRET SERVICE. REALLY? I GUESS. HOW?! — DRAKE snoops on SUPACREE as she writes working half heartedly at THE NECK MACHINE with peaking curiosity, peaking over the time of his sunglasses. Whats it called. “Nautilus 4 way neck “ BPM: you're a jerk Do the Drake Do the Drake Do the Drake Work that neck Work that— Neck, Becky Work that neck, Work that neck Do the— “new note: Purchase ‘Honestly, nevermind' I had worked an entre month at LVAC before the circus went underway; Not a single drop of Skrillex had ever been played over the loudspeakers at any moment, for any of the time I had been employed there, nor had it burdened me any of the other time I had spent bettering myself within what I once cherished as sacred walls–now the illusion shattered, as nowhere I could seem to run – even the rural coastal jungle of Mexico-was far enough to escape the clammerings of something I quite honestly very much still loved, but wouldn't allow myself to enjoy— Or maybe, now, couldn't. BANGARANG. ‘Fuck this shit.' I wanted to move, but didn't—I wanted to leave, and probably should have, but wouldn't. I just sat there through it as my coworker, standing at about 5'4 ½ in a pair of tight black skinny jeans sang along and bounced rhymically. What the fuck. Then, as it had just been earlier that I was thinking of Sonny himself, and how, be it that any of my premonitions were actually accurate and true as I had once thought them to be, there would perhaps come a day that I regretted not listening to his works, just as one regrets not spending time with a loved one before their passing not giving enough attention to the little things, the tiny details, the time they had missed, but never missed without missing their loved one until it was too late. Then again, for me, any time in the then- present was too late, as I had only been followed, taunted, and ridiculed, openly humiliated and embarrassed, and never really paid directly for anything I had done, whether it did have to do with Skrillex or otherwise –and so I had made it more than a point to distance myself from it, anything having to do with it, or him, or anything really, music related—of course besides relying heavily on deadmau5 just for my own existence–that is, willingness wake up, move about the world and its endless, pointless constructs, and even so, completing a worthwhile workout with enough satisfaction that I could allow myself to leave the building–and now, with my commute taking up a grand total of 4 hours of my entire day—I didn't have the time or the energy to stay late into the days and even afternoons as I had before, or to arrive early as I had in the days and weeks before; Now this job was amounting to nothing at all, and I was surely less than breaking even. Whats the worry? You've got 20 minutes to write a story! Don't be sorry Mind your orders. You're a war chief Marry me, Oh pretty please— I plead to you, just sing for me Just think of me as a Never ending fantasy, At the very least When you bury me —and you buried me alive, Just for the look of things What makes us even Slitting wrists Or splitting things unevenly (Either thing benefits me, And my penis, I think.) Make me famous— She said Hate me or debate me, I have everything I need And I have everything you have, But I can leave, All with my dreams intact I do believe You think I'm evil Either way, unnecessary Why would I sit down and write a story— When you just did it for me? Why would I pledge allegiance to old glory She's ignoring me; Why would I change my name to satisfy your needs When mine sit idly by waiting Why would I dream of you, When you dream of me I have all I need, You have all of me in the other room While you watch cartoons with your lady I hate anime and now I hate you too, But I'm so stupid, Nothing soothes my moods, Except playing your tunes, Or music Whoop De Fucking do Would you Marry Me? He said (He never did, he just let her—) She said, I do And now they're doomed I built a tomb for two The bride and groom In music Two by two And used by Tuesday Music I presume To the beautiful Music I presume For the usual Music I presume For those who —- SHIA LABEOUF JUST DO IT. That is not how the end of the song goes. No, but this is how the end of the episode goes. Really!? How? [CC stares lifelessly forward out of the front window of the double decker bus; a man dressed in all blue catches her attention—another telepathic shapeshifter.] You brought…an umbrella? I told you there was a shit storm coming. Oh, nooh. Where's yours? I— don't care? That's right you don't. I don't. That's good you don't. I really don't. You don't give a Fuck, or a shit. I—don't give a fuck or a sh—wait— DILLON FRANCIS? I'm good at what I do. What do you DO? THIS. “A Silent Partner” Oh. I like that. That has all kinds of insinuations. Doesn't it? Hermph. You're a creep. A Supacreep. PAUSE ITS MISTER MAGOOoOOOOOOOooO0oO. No, it's the IRS. Fuck. HOLY SHIT SUNNI. WHAT. HOW DO YOU OWE 100,000 IN BACK TAXES?! Student loan debt. WHAT. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. Yes it does. HOW. Calm down Marci —MY ÑAME IS— [Sunnī Blū subdues her instantly with one if Supacree's mysterious rave weapons] Sit down, please. …what is that? You like it? Yeah. [she gives her another dose of strange vapor, she relaxes even further.] See. Yeah. Now that you're happy— —am i “happy” ? [she gives her another relaxing dose] —are you Happy? Yeah. Ok. So. I never filed my taxes because I had so muc

“The Legend of Supacree” L E G E N D S “Tales of A Superstar DJ” My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is myhel Now i do't wanna live no more My body is my hell My body is my hell My body is my hell Now I don't wanna love no more i don't wanna live no more I don't wanna love no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna love no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna live no more I don't wanna– Boy gets the girl– but in the end, i'm not either, I Still have to wonder why The nanny How I met yurr' Mother I'm neve gonna get all that God magic I need if I don't stop working. This isn't “work” Oh, yes it is. Deadmau5, a canadian DJ also known as Joel Zimmerman, hosts an anti-superbowl Star Wars Party, which turns unexpect— Look at me, feeling me, feeling you Now look at you, feeling you feeling me Feeling you feeling me Feeling me feeling you Feeling me feeling you Feeling you feeling Feeling you feeling –sorry. —Unexpectedly into the “superbowl party of the century”, when hundreds (eventually thousands) of “invitees” I've never been a man before, (that I know of) But ive got my hand over your heart , And it sure seems hard It sure seems hard -AHEM. Sorry. Receive an invitation via [SUPER JEW RABBI] AHEM What?! –Email, which was actually AHEM. WHAT! Oh My GoD! [Looks at clock] Oh. sorry Rabbi. When did you get to be such a Jew FLASHBACK Age: 12 Mom. I want a dreidel. …What's a dreidel? –And A Menorah! CUT BACK TO But honestly more recently, it was– [Stops traffic in Midtown Manhattan Rushour to pick up a penny.] [Jewish woman] Woooow. [JEWLUMINATTI] You see! I told you! Oh my God, why are the Jews in this series so stereotypically jewish? Because Jews are stereotypically Jewish. FLASHBACK: But what am I really saving here. Gevault! CUT BACK TO: YOU'RE A PEANUT BUTTER JELLy SaNDWHICH WITH NO PEANUT BUTTER AND NO JELLY. So just bread? –yes. But–[Anime sword swish] I don't eat bread. [Anymore] [FIGHT] Dang what DJ battle is THIS. The One You've Been Waiting For Mad men avatar the last air bender Grounded for life So how long's this whole thing supposed to take. –as long as it takes. What kind of answer is that. It's an answer. Don't be so sure of yourself. I am sure of myself; Just because it's not the answer you wanted doesnt make it any less of an answer. Now, sit down Watch out, and watch this: Too many apps on my phone I'm better off alone I'd better kill myself Nobody will ever love me Nobody will ever love me Watch out, watch this: My iPhone is trying to kill me, For real? See; It's natural selection I'm trying to unselect me Caviar, a delicacy How delishish The devil in me says to keep digging my grave I was once at a rave, And he gave me a halo A lion, I'm brave— I once said Spin it, Spin back the record again If it's all in my head Then I'm better off dead I'm better off dead Watch this! @Dillon Francis I'm stuck in a trance— Hanzel was lighting the candle And summoned me, Out of a dead sleep, With no pants on— It was a tech house set But I'm on acid Spinning an axis And stuck in a state of trance —i thought it was armin van buren at one point I have to give up at some point, writing, right? Now this is just point in history Point me away from the misery Mystery flavor is like Fruit punch, Or raspberry— Something like that, If you ask me; But white as the rabbit I pulled out the hat In the back seat I'm hatching a plan to go mad, But I need the recepits from Pasqualle for my taxes What the Fuck does that mean? I don't know; I'll read this In a year, When I unbury it Maybe I married my best friend, Deserved to get hit So I'm just going back to him Scratch that, he's mad at me I have no family Reckless abandonment God I'm attracted to everything Except for that See? She's racist. No, it's my ovaries! The lighter you are, the less the adversity I see you eyes turned to grey; Don't abandon me Yes, I wear contacts I'm faking attractive I laughed at him, had to He actually had magic @Dillon Francis How many hats to you have? Thanks to Hanzel, I'm back on this planet Why light a candle, when you know I haven't an answer; What did you ask? No, i haven't had breakfast yet — Thanks for reminding me I'm in a casket Goddamnit @Dillon Francis What are you? I'm an adversary GOOGLE: adversary ..??? ad·ver·sar·y /ˈadvərˌserē/ noun one's opponent in a contest, conflict, or dispute. Hmm. Oh. Opponent to what?! Could be anything, really. I don't like him… 2 for $ MIX AND MATCH INCLUDES BIG KING REALLY. Which one's the Big King? The little one, I think. He's not little In fact: LOOK AT EM. Dawh. Look at Skrillex. Dawg. Look at Skrillex. He bossed up. He was already boss. Well. He Sauced up, then. What kind of sauce is that?! I don't know, but looks like Dillon Francis is eating it. DILLON FRANCIS IS EATING IT pause. How am I still writing this show. She doesn't eat? She hasn't eaten. She doesn't eat. I haven't ate yet! BET. BET. OK—Bet. Nice. Sick. What are we betting. … … … WAIT. ,,, josh pan? … … Did you unpause? Unpause what? Uh. The game. This is the game. No, the game. This is the game! What are you talking about?!! Now I'm famous> This is The Game. sup. This is Sunni Blū Sup. It is?! Yea it is. Wait, it is?! I thought you were the kidd?? I am the kidd. Then, why is The Game meeting Sunnï Blu? For a collab. Duh. Wait. Pause. QUIT PRESSING PAUSE. Wait. Go back. I didn't get that last part. WE WATCHED IT A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY. Screw you. We're watching it again. Ugh! I hate this! Dude. I hate watching this with you. It takes 3 hours to watch an episode! You guys are talking over all the good parts! It's all the good parts! This shit's exciting. I'm defaulting. What? This isn't—this isn't fair. I'm not doing this. What?! It isn't safe anymore. It was never “safe” SAFE! Oh nice. Baseball. It is baseball. Who's playing? All the DJs. What. For what?! It's the DJ GAMES. THE DJ GAMESsssssssss ITS THE DJ GAMES! OH FUCK YEAH. I fuck this. I quit. what. You can't quit. I can quit. I just did. You can't quit the DJ games. I just did. But you can't. I just did. Hey. Hey, what's up. I'm gonna be late. What's going on? My bus driver's drunk. Are you sure? CITY BUS DRIFTING IN SLOW MOTION /Hans Zimmer Music Yes. Welhp. What. That's it. I'm just gonna have to kill myself. Why, what happened? I'm pretty sure that's the only way to beat this level. What, really? Nah. I'm pretty sure Let me see. *SUPACREE jumps into oncoming traffic* YOU DIED. Aww. I died. WHAT THE FUCK. Well, you said. GAME OVER [fade to black] I HAD NO LIVES LEFT. WELL, YOU SAID! THATS'S NOT THE WAY TO— [fade to white] NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED: GOD MODE OOOHHHHHHHH. WHAT?! LVL i - DREAMSTATE What is this. SUPACREE. I— what? Hello? Follow me. Who is this? I know you. Oh. The above and beyond part. That's funny. I was just— So wait. If the end of this episode, is the end of that movie, then… I guess whatever's happening about now is whatever happened before that part. What part? I, having run off from I, runs into a forest alongside The Endless River, which opens out into a beautiful meadow, the micolored cosmic sky twinkling sweetly above, strange auroras dancing in the skies; a field of glowing and stardusted singing wishflowers at her feet, she frustratingly falls into them, soft grass puffing with the twinkling sounds of fairy dust and sprites (a homage to the lion king) the wishflowers softly sing her to sleep with the subtle and sweet frequencies of Skrillex. (A homage to the wizard of Oz) From Above & Beyond, a flock of Cosmic Creatures in flight spot a golden glimmer from afar; they descend dimensions-- to get a closer look; Closing in on the universe within the confines of a massive structure, which propels itself seamlessly through galaxies faster than the speed of light and sound, though she appears as a large golden space station, slowly drifting through the atmosphere. Manned by yet unseen beings, the golden ship descends upon Skrillex, almost silentl— a swishing whir as the ship, more similar to a futuristic building, an ovaline rounded structure seemingly structured in brass, gold, and silver as it docks to the soft soil of planetary terrain. The landing is soft enough not to have awaken Ū, still sleeping; but an immense light pours from the openings of the ship, waking her--and blinding Sonny as he finally approaches from behind, having been searching for her. She is drawn into the light; he shields his eyes as the beings emerge from their massive station. Monologue/Montage I fell in love with you...it was an accident. I fell in love with you, because I had to; I hadn't thought about it before, but i've been thinking about it ever since. Had I succeeded in my attempted suicide, we wouldn't have come face-to-face… Had I succeeded in my attempted suicide, I'd have no reason to write something so pathetic as this, pititul letter, which you will probably never read. Probably, anyway. I've spent a majority of my lifetime very deeply troubled, yearning for all the attention one could ever crave--until suddenly, I no longer craved any at all. Solitude, rather than isolation, became sacred, and safe to me; It was in the solace and quiet of my very own world, that you entered my kingdom...and it became ‘ours'. Silence. Nature. Astrology. My greatest found pleasures, in a cavalcade of endless self-doubt, self-loathing...a tiresome collection of all the hatred I've harbored for myself in my twenty-something years. I fell in love with you...I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to do anything, except be. Another festival, another escapade...another chance to dance, in the sunlight--the moonlight, under stars… And under the stars, is where I was forced to find you. Now, it seems, can't escape your presence--or lack-thereof. Unrequited? Perhaps. But, not unprovoked. I love you because it is in me to do so. I will always love you, always. There is a world where you're in love with me, as I am you; All I can do now, is hope that this is that same very world, and that as days go by, we draw closer to one-another, rather than further apart. In truth, friendship, in the very least, would serve as a worthy reward...for all the worry, all the wonder, and all the willing I've done for you; in honesty...I'm ashamed in my inability to let go--yet also proud, that I am able to love this much, this hard. To see you with someone else, now, would be a gentle relief; to know that you are kept in love, with graciousness...a subtle gift, an answer to a prayer I asked. Loneliness, I wouldn't wish upon you for anything--love is, in fact, my whole wish for you--be it mine, or not. While I can wish that it will be mine, I've also wished for you, the very best--I would want not for my flaws to burden you. Flaws are what create our perfection; God is, as I am. Losing you, the flame of fear that set my heart and soul to fire; Cancerous, weakened, plagued--premonitions impolitely penetrated my fragile, eggshell mind… the death of a friend, fast-forwarded and reflected into my mind's-eye; How could I forget a face like yours--eyes like those? How could I not know you, as I have? Tears bearing your name roll over my nose, like the rain on a rose...the burden of belonging to one, rather than some; To all, rather than none. So now, I keep my favorite photo of you in my phone...a comfort, to the weary and wounded heart I carry. I can pretend that your sweet voice accompanies mine, as I sing to soothe myself, as I sway in solitude; A gentle kiss, I imagine to give, if ever the chance. I love you, without reason to--and with every reason to, I love you. Find me, again As the ship departs, charging to go into warp speed, Sonny is left alone on his own planet; as a slight panic falls over him, A key-like object falls from the ship as it dissappars at warp speed into a portal. As his hands clap together, catching the object, the sound rings outward--this clapping pages The Skrillex, which lands promptly beside him, exclaiming-- "I AM SKRILLEX"; he has never seen this ship before, however proceeds onto the ship as though familiar with extra terrestrial phenomena all together. We only see him enter the ship; we do not follow him inside, but instead cut to Ū on the Interdimensional SpaceTime Station. Ah wait. So Skrillex is a planet? Skrillex is a lot of things SKRILLEX is a planet . That explains it. No it doesn't. I mean, it might. No it doesn't! I mean, it kindof does, if you think about it. BleepBleepBloop bleeepbleepbloopBloop bleepBleepBleeppBoopBoop bloopbloopBloopBloop. bleepBleep. bloop. Bleep? … This is a disaster! Don't look at ME. I'm not looking at anything! I can't stand it. __ This is the best thing on TV. Damn right it is. What channel is it, anyway? On Channel 43. What! I thought it was on Insomniac TV. They keep fucking with me. The Lord giveth, and taketh away— I thought you were Jewish. I want a sandwich. You're so useless. __ Who's this bitch? I won her in a bet. No you didn't. Royal Flush, bitch. What'd you get? It's a secret. __ My Lord. (Petrutheio Humphs) You look awful. I've been—working. Working on what, your majesty. Just—working, is all. Very well, then. Theodore— My leige? MEANWHILE, IN SEASON 4 [ When the 4th Wall Actually Broke] GO! I found this gym because of Dillon Francis— I found Dillon Francis because of my evil ex husband; I think the lesson here, or at least one of hundreds— Is to trust no one, And love unconditionally, No matter what. — 02-12-2022 Well, there's a conundrum. KEY/BPM: Slip, deadmau5 Conundrum. LEGENDS: ENTER THE MULTIVERSE Fuck. What was it? It was a p— Well it was a *PR Lol. *PT cruiser Yeah, but it was— It was purple. It was a purple PT. Cruiser It was—but what else was it? Ugh. I forgot. Yeah, I bet. GOOGLE SEARCH shades of purple. Ooooh. PERIWINKLE. You fucking dumb ass. I mean, Jesus. How long has it been? At least a lifetime. No, past that. It was a perfect periwinkle PT cruiser. So, start there. ‘Start there' what? Everything since then, till now— For what? Enter The Multiverse. That show is still on?! YES. What day is it? Fuxk. What time is it? What—the fuck. What?! CUPCAKES AND A MUFFIN?! I don't care how fat I am. You're not fat. QUASIMOTO Can I just say, your ass is like —woah. CC/SUPACREE Oh, thank you. QUASIMOTO I mean like—DAAAAAAMN. CC/ SUPACREE OK. QUASIMOTO i mean like—what the FAAACK. CC/SUPACREE Yeah. thanks, bro. [an awkward silence] QUASIMOTO …Good job, though. [light fist bump] EARLIER: MORE CUPCAKES. NAH. OHH, OREOS?! Oreos are the G.O.A.T. I WANTED CUPCAKES. SHUT THE FUCK UP— Before that, at the gym: —do the butt machine again. Again?! Get the glutes. But I'm tired— GET THE GLUUUUUUUUTES. SONNY/SKRILLEX Where am I? Ū Hell. ANGEL 1 In bed. ANGEL 2 In mexico. CUT TO: SUPACREE finally gets to Heaven, looking for SKRILLEX. SUPACREE So, where is he? JESUS Somewhere else. ANGEL 1 At home. ANGEL 2 In mexico. JESUS Who knows? CHAK CHEL Someone must... DILLON FRANCIS I'm someone. JESUS But I don't. ME I don't know anything. MYSELF I don't need to. I I just wanna go home. SUPACREE Can I come home now? JESUSYou always could. SUPACREE But really, I mean-- CHAK CHEL Really's all it really takes. ANGEL 1 You have to know, ANGEL 2 You have to mean it; Don't look both ways before you cross, if you honestly want off the cross Christ, for your sake Honestly It's probably wise to admit that you've tried For the third time; Mankind's just not worth it. Mankind, maybe; But humanity's my baby And this earth is definitely worth something I love it-- Her. And the rest of the planets, but Look how she spins, It's magnificent, Look at the way the ocean's Make this mist; And the wind-- If i sing loudly enough I might Vibrate the trees, How they love dancing and laughing for me; And I just can't help but to laugh at her inhabitants; They dance oh-so rhythmically They're very creative-- and grateful, they always give thanks to me It's no need, but the Earth, she keeps feeding them She makes these beautiful things, So sweet; Mangoes, I think. Greed; The Parable of the Mango Tree Mango VIP. In the pre-existence, a young God prepares for her journey through the Land of The Living; Her older brothers taunt and tease, as she shuffles through notes and index cards, studying her predetermined fate on Earth. I That's easy. The cover art's just got a Mango On it, White Backdrop; It looks super juicy; with a green leaf, I think. E Who made it? I Uhhhhh. ^> Uhhhhh... O You forgot! I No! I know, I know. It was.... A Who? U She forgot again. I I did NOT. E Did too. Who made it? I It was...it was...Herobust! Y Herobust? I Wasn't it? E Wrong! A Loser. I I am not a Loser. It was…Was it Ganja White Night? E I don't know, was it? A Was it? I I don't know! Just tell me. E I can't. I Yes you can! E I can't. Your rules-- I Exactly, it's my rules! Just gimmie the answer! E I think you're going to have to GOOGLE it. I Ugh, no way. E So is Liquid Stranger your final answer? Y Liquid Stranger?! I I never said Liquid Stranger. A Idiot. O Now she's never gonna get it. U What did you say before? I It was...oh... A See dude. I Shut up, I had it-FUCK. A Damn dude, you broke her. I I'm not broken, I just forgot - E Liquid Stranger, going once-- I I never said Liquid Stranger! I know it wasn't Liquid Stranger; Why would it ever be Liquid Stranger? CUT TO: A pair of mysterious dudes Suits in Sunglasses are collecting famous DJs. SUIT Martin Stääf? LIQUID STRANGER ...Yes... SUIT. Come with me. ___ CUT TO: Two fans are watching interdimensional cable. SUPACREE It's a practical-- FAN 1 WHAT HAPPENED? FAN 2 IT JUST CUT-- __ Aliens in an Ascended dimension of hyper-intelligence are studying our three-dimensional existence from an unknown cosmic world. BRAMF Remember that planet I showed you--the-- ARLA Yeah, with the Axis? BRAMF Yeah. ARLA Yeah? BRAMF Something happened to it, ARLA Like what? BRAMF It's flat now. ARLA WHAT? BOTH Woah. >^ Sometimes, even i'm surprised by the things I've written. ME I didn't see that one coming! MYSELF Neither did I: I was gonaa say it was off it's axis. I Flat's funnier. ME Yeah, and probably not as tragic. MYSELF I mean...that would be pretty tragic. I Probably easier to manage. ME Perhaps…But I mean, if you have a whole planet, and then it just collapses-- MYSELF It's just flattened; nobody said it collapses. MEANWHILE The planet collapses. __________ CUT TO: SUPACREE is now a full-blown superpowered vigilante; She seeks revenge for GETTER sending her through the interdimensions at AUDIOTISTIC. SUPACREE Getter, we meet again. GETTER I've never met you before; what are you doing in my dressing room? SUPACREE Why does a DJ have a dressing room? GETTER I don't know; get out. [She swiftly leaves; as she exits, THE SUITS approach the dressing room door.] SUIT 1 Tanner Petulla? GETTER Yeah? SUIT 2 Come with us. GETTER Fuck that! [He doesn't have a choice.] Oh shit, the next scene is already written, I remember this. Oh, okay! I get it! Yeah. She's still at-- She's still on the-- ____ JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY. For what? You're suck in this until it's done. What's done? It'll never be over, it's just infinite. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE ^ UNTITLED DOCUMENT >< >< >< ANGEL 1 YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO SKRILLEX ON YOUTUBE? ANGEL 2 DON'T. JESUS I mean... ANGEL 1 DON'T you dare. SUPACREE I might as well, by the time I finish downloading it I probably won't even be able to listen to it. ANGEL 2 You shouldn't. SUPACREE I shouldn't, but I know i have to. ANGEL 1 In PUBLIC? JESUS Could go Incognito... ANGEL 2 INCOGNITO; The “oh please don't look at this:” easy algorithm engine for “LOOK AT ME, I'M HIDING SOMETHING.” MEANWHILE...IN DEEP MEDITATION…(IE OMNIPOTENCE) SUPACREE So... if a song is... nothing but question and answer, what's a song which references another in an attempt to address the question which was asked? ME A conversation between one song and another? MYSELF I guess, yes; I Well, that would be a symphony, I would suppose. SUPACREE It would, wouldn't it. ME That is, if the songs were in sync. MYSELF They could be made to be. I Every song is made to be in sync; ME I mean, two songs, made to be in sync with each other. _______ SUPACREE is on the floor at a rave. BASSGOD WAKE UP. SUPACREE This isn't funny anymore. ANGEL It was never funny. You have to get up. SUPACREE I'm up. BASSGOD You're NOT UP. ANGEL Come on, you have to do this. SUPACREE I'm doin it. GOD NO. ANGEL It's no use. She's so, so under there. It would take all of us to try to pull her out--that is without... [The darkening sky crumbles, as the thunderous storm rages, the battle between worlds expands throughout the outer galaxies.] ____ You're not skinny enough You're not pretty enough You're too dark, And you don't work quickly enough Much younger girls are putting in such Efforts, just to be, the perfect little beauty queen You wish you were, But couldn't be and kids these days are Everything that means anything Sometimes I Don't Wanna Be Happy… It was bad, But better than I'll ever be A basic remix, For the basic bitch that sings it And, I'm basically a Dillon Francis fiend, Have you seen this? Now it's getting serious, I seriously doubt there's anything I can do about it It's in God's hands and, I live in Satan's house How did he do this? How did this happen? The sad result of the damage, Cause i'm pretty sure The very last time my ex ever hit me Something got stuck on repeat; It's just eating me up. ___ [Untitled Document] What did we call that place, between “The Blackout” and waking up. Hazy. I thought it was something more clever. Maybe, but i'll never find it if i'm just scrolling through these documents. Write ”Untitled Document” That's all I've got, I guess. _____ [A DJ] Can be played by literally any DJ. A wild, wild party has happened. A DJ wakes up, previously having been sprawled out across the floor. A DJ Whose house is this…? Ugh. [Looks in mirror.] A DJ ughhh. [S/he gets up and stumbles groggily, stepping over bodies hunched and perched, slung about sleeping. Peacefully. The sun is bright, a curse to the eyes of the clearly hungover, and likely still quite inebriated DJ. ] CONCURRENTLY: >>> SUPACREE awakens from a ‘stupor' herself, displeased. She looks in the mirror, at first disgruntled, then “picks up her face” adjusts her perception, and decides, SUPACREE (“I'm good.”) Yep. [And she keeps it steppin, still asking aloud, as she ponders to herself;] SUPACREE Whose house is this? [And makes her way into the kitchen, where she (probably in a montage) cleans around the many bodies of hot people and rave babies still smudged and dripping in everything glittery; she appears to have ‘frozen time', as she vacuums faces and erases permanent marker penises drawn onto the foreheads and other exposed body parts of those who have fallen asleep with no shoes on. She cooks breakfast and straightens the entirety of what is now more recognizable as someone's home, though the owner still remains unknown. She sips coffee and reads the newspaper, as she steps behind the freshly detailed decks; and prepares a set through the headphones shes hung happily around her neck.] PAUSE ME See! THIS IS RIDICULOUS. MYSELF It is. Ridiculous. You can't vacuum someone's face! I Not that part-- MYSELF --Especially white people! ME You never said they were all white people. I I mean, predominantly; it said hot people and rave babies. MYSELF That's racist! ME It isn't. This whole scene would be entirely different, if it had nothing but black people in it. ALTERNATELY: She wakes up in the same house, but it's clean. SUPACREE ...Whose house is this? BEYONCE It's my house. SUPACREE It's... nice. BEYONCE Yes it is. ______ DILLON FRANCIS has the master plan. SUPACREE Ugh, he knows everything. GOD Not everything, dear, believe me. SUPACREE Everything that matters. GOD There's no such thing as everything that doesn't matter. SUPACREE ...What?! __ Don't look in there! You won't find anything in there. I hate these things. ____ It doesn't work if you don't practice. How do I practice without decks? You don't. How do I Dj without practicing? You don't. So DJing is just for rich people? I mean, primarily, or just...anyone with money, if you have it. Fuck this, I quit. You can't quit. If you quit we forfeit the game. No... You idiot. What game? I thought she knew about the game. What. game. Well, it's not just a game, it's a language. WHAT GAME. She's about to be so angry, dude, just--- Just run. ___ 8 Dimensional--wait, what? Oh, she finally made it. I never thought she'd get to this part. Well, she stopped eating meat and cooks asian food-- ---yeah, but that's like 6 different places-- She's not listening to Skrillex. --She's not skipping it-- --yeah, but she isn't listening to it actively.-- Josh Pan. Yeah. I am. Why. I thought we were past “why” We were, we were WAY past “why” It wasn't really a question, guys, don't worry about it. “Don't worry about it” Tsh. Tsh. ___ It's just an expression. “expression” yes. I get it-- ___ He named it “Kliptown Empyrean” What. What's “Empyrean”? I'd love to know, but I don't. Don't google it. I won't, I just. __ GO KARTS. With A K. __ Where's Kliptown? South of Capetown? South? South Afri-- Stop. HE”S AFRICAN? Stop. What's more offensive; Being called an African, or an Alien? ___ One off...hmmm… Always one off. ___ Get out of my house! This is your house? Thank God, I was starting to worry the owner like wandered off and got lost; or, you know (makes slitting throat) I... no, this is my--wait. Who are you? Me? I'm S U P A C R E E “S U P A C R E E”? [having been yet unrecognized, shes is used to having to spell it] Yeah; ___ Key of Cringe: I'm in a box with all my thoughts, And I am not on top of the world Or taking shots, I'm just rocking back and forth Like broken record, Repeating sequences, a robot A beat box of kittens Nobody wants I'm lost (if rock and roll will take me I wonder how much it costs) ____ What did this kid do? Nobody knows _Oh, shit, it's the Jews again. I love the Jews. We know. I keep telling you, you're jewish I'm not jewish my mom's… That's not your mom. Of course that's my mom. It's not, I already told you what planet you're on? __ Now, tell us why we wear our masks! Oh, there are lots of reasons for that. Tell us about the Sauce! All the sauce? Yeah!!! That would be a long story. __ Oh, the Google kids are cute, too. I especially love that little chunky one. He is cute, he's probably my favorite, actually ____ PIERCE? Who the fuck is PIERCE? Google it. I like this, this is- It's different, isn't it? Yeah, and then it __ Sunni—are you Jewish? I...identify as “Jewish” You can't just identify as Jewish. Well, I do. No, you can't just “identify” as Jewish; your mother has to be Jewish. Okay; my mother is Jewish. Sunni—you don't talk much about your family; who's your mother? Who's your mother?! Oh! Okay, we're done. See you next time, bye! What are you doing? What? “Identify as Jewish”?! WHAT?! I do! No I don't! You don't know me! Maybe not! But I know TMZ. I'm not on TMZ Sunni Blu is on TMZ What did I do?! YOu know what you did. ∆ Well, alright then. ∆ Must be something. ∆ I got it. . Don't look at me;; I'm a catastrophe, I'm just waking up now Don't look at me, I got so high i think I might not come down It's not a bad thing But I'm a bad guy, i promise It's not a bad thing, Don't look in my eyes; Especially if I like you Especially if you have other plans tonight, Or this morning That's right Time flies when you're (dynomite) Time flies when your mind right I didn't mean to stay here It's been nearly half a year, you know It's nearly half a year It's nearly half a y AHEM ALRIGHT. JESUS CHRIST. No, not that! [sighs heavily, frustrated] Enjoy Your Day. FARRO nobly sacrifices his own life during The Lovers Quarrel, as PETRUTHEIO attempts a final and fatall blow unwittingly against ‘CESMET' A saturn of satirical Return of reverb Expanding explosions of Outward and unearthly Worlds within words Or words within Worlds on the Curve of the Unwritten overtures of -Mother wow . I guess. Do you want a cup of coffee? I want you to shut the fuck up. What if Jimmy Fallon had a diary as a kid. And I found it when i shapeshifted into his body. Yeah, what if. What if this is it? [SUPER HUGE GASP] Oh, AHEM- No, i Gotta write this. AHH– Oh, the things i would do to you Oh, woah, The things you would do to me Oh, no, no, woah The things i would do AHHH– Don't be mad I'm a writer I'm like this Hi kids wanna see how sharp my knife is yikes Sigh, bitch, ive been sitting in silece With the lights off cause i like it Ilike it a lot, but uhm Ahem, The rabbi's mad cause that i'd write this And it's shabbat This is why i don't listen to deadmau5 anymore. What are you talking about *listenining to* GODDAMIT. what The invisible man, in Manhattan The sunglasses matches her madness The cloud cover looks just like Texas The suns going down And it's getting colder As the winds blows… 03. JIMMY FALLON All ya'll are all worth bout a dollar; I am a cyclone, watch me holler I lived my whole life underwater I got a dollar; Jimmy Fallon All ya'll are only bout a dollar I work so hard, I guess for nothin I am not worried bout a dollar I got a dollar; Jimmy Fallon I guess I'll do it on my own I had to do it all alone I made some soup, all out of stones I am the only one I know I am not worried bout the sauce I am so famous, got a stalker I am so famous Can't go no where I got a dollar, Jimmy Fallon I'm at the office, Not my home No collab I work alone Opened a business, got a loan I got a hundred of them passwords I went frontwards —1I went backwards Went to Manhattan, took a walk Went to the rock and dropped a rock Now put your money where your mouth is I got a thousand Jimmy Fallons (What's that) (I'm the host) What's that, what's that I work alone What's that what's that I dropped a rock into the rock What's that what's that I'm the host, I'm Jimmy {enter the multiverse/ as seen on tv} Story/ music video Moderately famous household television Jimmy Fallon suddenly begins appearing everywhere—that is—on every possible TV screen imaginable— The Protagonist, in confusion, can't seem to escape, and also amusingly begins finding Pennies in very strange and seemingly random places—these Pennies then begin opening up portals, breaking the fourth wall and opening worlds to other dimensions— Have you seen this? Uhh, hmwhat is it? Mits m “Two dumb Jews, starring Seth Rogen, and some other dude— Who's the other dude— some Jew,but it's got Adam Sandler in it. Oh, so three dumb Jews. So, no, then? I'd watch the shit out of that, though, tvh. Why's the synopsis? Uhh. Two Jewish musicians struggling to make it in new York's congested underground music scene hit it off in comedy by complete accident, after being booked as a duo for a comedy club they mistook for a bar. Heh. Okay, who does Adam Sandler play? “The Bookkeeper” What. Who the fuck is “the book keeper?” We'll see, I guess. “Two Broke hoes@ It's like two broke girls, but actually funny. What, be nice . Okay. Two Broke Ghosts That's better— — And marketable. Are you pale, or just— No, I'm dead. I'm dead. X.X Be NICE. Now our musical guests, SWAGGARBOMB. What in the fuck kind of music is that It's called “Dorkstep” [the doorbell rings] Great, who the fuck is I got a train car of your body count I got way far out to far rock away, way out Stop to talk to me, or don't, Kill your culture You need some? I got u— Probiotics, yo The truth hurts Your shit stinks Must be a mirror over herer Cause that's me I m your hero. Esha I think McGuiennes? Or McGrefor, after Ewab, maybe New York wants me to kill myself Maybe eventually New York if full of the devil The devil is money And everyone wants it The root of all evil, Is getting even The root of all evil Is people Beside myself, But besides that The ones hurting me, are soon to be where I am That's just karma The gangstalkers are soon to be stalked Coughed, and shot at The neighbors are soon to be eaten by their own demons When I don't clean them The root of all evil is evil, And that's all I see here White power wants me to kill my self The Caucasians get crazy when the race war is waging The elections are coming up And they see us coming up on conciousness They don't want us Just being honest They're hateful, They washed all the love out Thanks Karen But she don't care White firms just wanna have fun And they get to Meanwhile, me and I Eat shit( bro, And die Why's it nice to be white Even when you're wrong, you're right All you gotta do is lie, Open up your big blue eyes real wide and Decide what you want, Put us under your foot, And make us pay for it Thanks Karen Caucasians are terrorists I think it's McGuennes or however you spell it, cause half the names are like plays on Okay, I lie: You made a world where I have to Okay, I steal You took everything that I'm after already Or your ancestors did Call the luxury apartment reparations But ain't got no privacy, and hells angels and the kkk Ride motorcycles every time I get my eye on the prize So what's the price for being indegenous, black, and a genius White supremacy finds sneakier ways to kill you ESHA MCGUENNES (I thought figure out how to spell that. My left side's off I guess I got Stuck in the love of the art I was writing that part When the life of my love Fell over me A lover huh I'm so confused. I'm sorry bro, But if you're morbidly obese, But your feet are like a size 6– You are not BIG BONED. My doctor said I have a small frame, my feet are size 9, I went from a 10 to an 8.5 after losing 200 hundred pounds, I'm like “goddamn! Even my feet were fat! Fuck” But if you're fat like I was and your feet are size 6, your feet might be like a si3 4! You're a fat fucking pixie that fucked around and can't do little pixie shit now, cause you like pixie sticks Too much I'm just the rat in the dumpster I made this whole world up I swallowed the doctor I hearted the surgeon I locked up the dog catcher; I cauldron'd the Mormons I called it a sermon, but He called them all — Wait, who is Herman?! I don't know! Some black guy on that show I'm writing! what. I don't know. You're writing a show?! I'm on it! Ugh, I don't know. No fair, You really know how to make me cry When you give me those ocean eyes Those ocean eyes Good looking people In good looking places Doing good things; I just want to be Good today Good looking people Good looking people Bye, bye little bird, Think of the dreams we made Think of the drummer boy, Your lover boy, Then, the other boy There we go again, With the drums we played And the love we made It just won't make it Oh I Just Can't take it Can I come back yet? SHUT UP, GAYBRAHAM LINCOLN. I'm having breakfast at 10 am Thinking damn this depression is just setting in There's a chest on my elephant Chester drawer with hand carved elements Elephant ok my chest, Clisets with hangers and button ups I haven't won't yet What FOR WHAT FOR. MY EYES. For the sake of the art, I heart ya. For perhaps if I love, That's how I lost ya. So I keep all my love close, The brothers have found the fountain How many dollars do tootsie pops cost For one Jimmy Fallon? return to the blacklist. Great. Now I'm Jimmy Fallon. Well what's fucked up! What happened! FUCK! I hate being Jimmy Fallon! Whose dick swings to the right like that. Ow. FUCK. Fuck this guy. GODDAMMIT. -_- Let me in. Or I could just leave you out. No, don't do that. WHY. Ahh. Shhhhhh!!! What if someone sees me. Hmm, let's see. [rings neighbors dooorvelk, shuts door] No! The neighbor opens the door; now gifted with the ability to see demons, after merging with Fast forward Oh no, when did that thing come into play (When this happened) Liz lemon lives on the ground floor It don't matter cause she ain't never home l She's at the rock That's all the way up Good talk, Donaguey, Good, Good Talk Good people Good show Good good times It's good to be long gone from home Go to work at the plaza That ones Conan. Oh, Why?! Why not, though. OH, you mean— Katt. What up Snoop . Ahh, Look what the pimp limped in. You think you're clever. You think you're at least 5 foot—but you're 4 foot 9 I'm STILL WINNING CHARLIE SHEEN relapses on the dance floor Oh shit. Relapses to which habit? All of them! 10-4 CALL RUSSEL BRAND. Csnt. Why not. He's blacked out. What? Another relapse?! No, he just— passed out KABLAM. “The Cockney Thug” He's just like that now. God What is it. Can I have ham in my spam samwhiches. —you want ham in your spam sandwhich. Yes. Roasted cantaloupe with Put your notebook On my throat-Scrotum I like your poems So I wrote you this one Oh. That's. Welcome—to the' creepy shit fans have done for u's backlogs. “Backlogs” Well, I have millions of fans, It would take me years to look at all this. [the festival project] Woah. Woah. Ok. Yo. Have you seen this. What is it. I don't know. Hm. Look. Woah: Yeah, it's— Wow Ok. It just goes on like this— For how long— For like GOH GOH l GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUT TO: Latest — 1:04 WHAT? MEANWHILE ….IS THAT A JIMMY FALLON? LOOKS LIKE ONE. SHOOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER. ok , boss. I told you, He would play The Devil's Advocate, If need be [JIMMY FALLON is shot mercilessly in the shoulder in broad daylight.] YO. THEY SHOT ME. He'll be okay. He's Jimmy Fallon. [LIKE 90,000 Ambulances and a SWAT team roll up.] See. DEADMAU5 charges himself in a high speed chamber—a tech-driven coffin via a USB port in his neck. Lol. Ok. (PDA) Public Displays of Affliction I've never even see. A. Aston Martin Sometimes it's worth it, Getting lost in Manhattan I just saw the sign I wouldn't dare entering, anyhow Not in this outfit Not in this predicament (I just left the Whole Foods market) I got lost and god was happy Motor cars for music Force a figure ibto music Forgive Annie, Run a mile what's a california smile In New York What a garden Oh, what a garden Double back. For a second glance Oh, don't we all want second chances Now I've been an Aston Martin Motorists dot muses now u want her What a party I just saw the sign Now I've been an Aston Martin All by design Companion passing through KAWS I just bought a Ferrari I said, Where the roof is?! Where the roof is?! Blū electrico Roof finished in Nero Just a hit of magic A menacing, incredibly ambedextrous submissive One time I played God, I was hanging as the sun in Toronto In my third eye was a camera lense; My baby daddy, Lover and my best friend My husband My lover and My best friend My brother And my father Were my best friends Once upon a time I never had friends Now I remember sitting in the backseat, Has been I remember when I never had ribs I remember when I never had meat Nice to meet you I already had a coffee I remember sitting in the front seat Once upon a time I was anno one Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Once a bunch of Pennies, lady Gaga I'm a baby, haha Once upon a time, I was a no one A nobody Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon I remember penny was a virgin I remember when you were the third one, l Once upon a time I was the first one Once upon a time, I thirst my quench with Coffee Body guard! I remember going on a long run I remember once there was a Knock on my door Now I quench my thirst with smart water With a hard on Never was a smart one Just an artist I was no one Once upon a dollar Jimmy Fallon Once upon a nothing, there was no one Now I take my coffee on a long ride No fun Once upon a dollar, Jimmy Fallon Amen I wish for every dollar I ever had, back Jimmy Fallon I wish it was 11:11, every Dillon Francis I wish for sandwhiches on leavened bread at Passover I wish this whole world would Passover, With the the stories in my home And in my notebook I wish for the fame and wealth with it, Jimmy Fallon I wish I never laughed at Dillon Francis I wish Skrillex was never a demon, I take it back I want the wealth And not the fame Just the freedom, Jimmy Fallon What do you mean by that? A dad, an actor An attack, The press is back and asking questions I can't handle that I can't. I just can't with that Abandon the matrix Go back to What's his name But I can't Cause I made him up Call my mother begging to drop the charges Called my God Just asking what the pocket watch does What's an engagement ring like that coat How much to rug the cameras up Inside my home So I don't know about em That shit's priceless Like the 9 Dollar's I've got Marked up, but not to spend them at the Market Jimmy Fallon I pray for your family But not as hard as I pray For my son Or God To take this fat off So I can look like Jennifer Aniston Cause that's God to em, 22 year old Adam Sandler At a brunch A talk show with my Least favorite host of all time Jimmy Fallon But I love to laugh, huh I just got back, God My house is a mess I want meth like AshGod If Method man was drinking up the water Would there be backwash It's a horrible, windfall This awesome art project My broken heart The coughing stalkers Whatever the fuck is going on in New York I love New York But not New Yorkers It hurts to be the worst person The first person to put reverse curses On shamans from the 3rd world And I'm living in the first world, But I just learned that Underneath the surface Is the fourth world That's some dichotomy Huh That's some diabolical plot The cosmic avenger is stuck in a dimension Of white pocket tenses And white bitches who get offended With this scripture But listen I just got up And I've been privy to Never sleeping again Norman Needs you, Mrs. Hotch But I was never Mrs. Roberts With all of the hearts and crosses , stars I give up on love Where's DimlonnFrancis at That's a man without a mask, That's a mannequin m. Just got up And I still want breakfast All I got is Stuff that's leavening A hand in my pocket Just for God to show me Nobody I want wants me Jimmy Fallon has a family That's a tragedy, that But I laughed so hard in the bathtub I still haven't come back from that I feel bad for em, actually All the husbands Cause I was the wife that sucks And he hated me so much I got punched in the— Doesn't matter Stuck in the telling it over and over Nobody loves me My new password is Fuckit I'm gone galloping horses, And hornets, I'm just a furniture Probably should have aborted me, mother Just like you wanted to But I'm still in the hospital On the honor roll Cause I had them all lined up The prophets of the “Impossible, could not be my God!” That's what they all said, But they dressed me up like Some sort of messiah, So I was, then It wasn't right, no That was malpractice But now I've got Camping in Malibu Crossed off my list forever Shit It's some dichotomy Just hold onto me I'm the rock, You're the kite now, Jimmy Fallon I was just better off dead, You know Better off stuck in my head, you know. I read your messages, every one of them Every one of the drugs in my bucket I threw up from the fan club Impossible, Could not have been at that clown JIMMY FALLON - THE COSMIC AVENGER JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER is levitating in a hyper-meditative state. UH – “hehe” …I beg your pardon. “Hehe” Um… Fuck. Or “haha” “haha” … Just admit it. … Admit it already! –haha. Admit WHAT. This gets Levels. Nobody thought Patrice O Neal was a woman! I thought Patrice O Neal Was a Woman. Ah, fuck, I'm nobody. “Nobody” Is that Bob Saget? I swiped right on this dude, just cause he looked exactly like Bob Saget. Omg. Bob Saget! Fuck, that's right. EXT. THE W HOTEL, BEVERLY HILLS, DAY/ EXT . PODSHARE WESTWOOD ROOFTOP, DAY OH MY GOD, GUYS, LOOK: IT'S BOB SAGET. No it's not! Oh My God! Yeah IT IS! Fuck, really?! Bob Saget?! BOB SAGET! YO GUYS, IT'S BOB SAGET. It was, in fact, Bob Saget. Bob Saget's dead, right? Oh yeah, bud. That's it guys! No more dead celebrities! I'm coming with you! NO MORE GHOSTS. Look, I have something to tell you. UGH. COME ON. This is a weird superpower. EXT. GRAVEYARD, QUEENS, NY. DAY … … … Having fun yet? Alright! I have a question! What? When do I get to– Get to what? You know. Luckily, I die long beore Jimmy Fallon, and as my time approached, I took all i could absorb from the world within, and without, almost as if any and all of my deathwish had been satiated with the gentle ease, the notion of knowing my imminent death would come long before what those surrounding me would consider my time, and therefore would not be made to lose anymore than I already had–but at least, I did have th strength in knowing, not only would i never grow so old as to see for show most of what I had done, but that I had done most of what I would have at all, and not much longer than my words would form into all that would come to be known as my full body of work, I would perish, even before–long before– those I had studied, admired, and known to love–if only through the fourth wall, at all. The invisible man, in Manhattan The sunglasses matches her madness The cloud cover looks just like Texas The suns going down And it's getting colder As the winds blows… THAT was a HARD left turn. So, what time can we listen to Excision? Sometime after intermission. How many acts is this again? ___ I told you, IN-FIN-ITE. Okay… I just wanted to know how long it would take? ___ I know someone that cold get us in _____ (Sitting on a speaker in the BassPod) What is she doing? What are you doing? Charging. __________ I think I found that girl you were looking for. Where is she? I said I found her: I didn't say you could have her. She's not a possession, I'm just trying to talk to her. You didn't mention that she was-- Be careful with your words. Oh, I think it's you that ought to be careful. You're losing your power over her and it shows. Mm. And what about your ‘power', hm? I haven't any power over her-- Oh, but you do-- Will Power at best, That would only be half of it. That would be all I had anything to do with; she was given free agency. HA. “Given”? ____ awww look at that bass face. Well, that's one reason... __ Ah what! you can change your entire frequency? No Fair, I can't do that You can, it just takes practice. What kind of practice-- ___ Oh shit, this hits different with two headphones. It all hits different with headphones. Calorie Deficit Calculator: -3423 Oh shit. Well how many calories did I eat? BEFORE: …chocolate chip cookies? NO— —CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIESzzxz— [CC/SUPACREE robotically and autonomously ditches her bicycle outside of sprouts, not giving a Fuck.] —s—noh! stop it! Stop controlling me! THEY ARE VEGAN. SO? STOP IT. Ooh, what's this. I don't know— get it. CC/SUPACREE stands awkwardly at the checkout with a varied selection of vegan baked goods. *beep* Yeaaaahh. So wait. SUPACREE is controlled by aliens? WE ARE GODS. Knock it OFF! [NEW ABILITY UNLOCKED: SUPASTRENTH ] Nice. Yeah dude. Watch this. The Legend of Supacree is the #1 MMORPG in the world; it is also happening in real-time, in multiple worlds within the multiversial construct of the actual Omniverse. AGHHHHH In fact, nobody even plays GTA or call of duty anymore. YAH! [Random objects falling from the sky. ] SUPACREE Oh, nice. INSTANT MANIFESTATION. JUST POST THE FUCKING EPISODE ALRIGHT?! this bitch is fucking crazy. Watch this. Watch what? SHIA LABEOUF discovers The Legend Of Supacree franchise and becomes villainously obsessed with It, hatching a heinous and maniacal plan to hunt her down and capture her—tracking her every move and learning everything about her he can. Wtf. I don't know. Is he a villain? I don't know. I guess. I'M A SUPERVILLAIN. …He's a supervillain. I guess. Why?! I don't know. This is creeps. It is creeps. [lifts one eyebrow.] SUPACREEps. Scary monsters and supacreeps. Heh. NO, NO MUSICIANS. Heh. SHIA LABEOUF is a straight up gangster. HE'S CRAZY! [SHIA LAUGHING MANIACALLY.] Oh, wow– That dude is a straight up psychopath. You're a straight up psychopath. I'm not arguing. What is THIS part of the story? Well, son, you made it through. WOODY HARRELSON? WHAT. Woody Harrelson?! WHY? I don't know. He just fit the part. WHAT PART?! WHAT/! Nobody quite understands what's happening in ENTER THE MULTIVERSE, however, THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE has taken an incredible turning point, intersecting with the world of LEGENDS and THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNI BLŪ/ THE SUITE LIFE OF SUNNI BLŪ. IT HAS? YES? WHERE? I WANNA DIE. OH! That's not SUPACREE! [CC HULK SMASHES her bike onto the rack on the bus. THE HULK, sitting just in front stares at her wide-eyed as she boards the bus over the rim of his sunglasses.] Oh, maybe, nevermind. Wait! Is it THE HULK, or MARK RUFFALO? I don't know! I don't give a shit! Why are you even writing this? Uhhhhhhhh. [CC's brain is slowly melting as she rides the bus to work. THE HULK– OR IS IT MARK FUCKING RUFFALO!? I DON”T FUCKING CARE– THERE'S A DIFFERENCE WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IT – DOESN'T– MATTER! ‘It doesn't matter.' Chal's words echoed in my head almost too loudly–as boldly blind and sometimes even dumb as he was, he was also wise, and as it turned out, right–it really didn't matter. Nothing mattered at all. I had gone through the motions of reaching out to him, to of course as expected learn that he and whatever her name was had gone their separate ways; I understood that would be the case nearly immediately back in Mazunte, but as he was insistent he would woo her–and persistent in doing so, that I thought maybe after all love– or what really turned out to be his obstinate lust would win the day–and yet, it hadn't; he was again single and on the prowl– and although at one point I had even lusted after him briefly, trailing behind him in nonchalant platonic carelessness as he obsessively followed another woman, had allowed me to become comfortable enough in the friendzone that i could just simply exist next to him; Now, again faced with homelessness and factoring in my inability to travel much further than south of the border, especially now knowing well how to travel throughout mexico and into Guatemala, I wondered truly if my own self-worth had really been lowered to the point of allowing myself to meet Chal in Guatemala–even full well knowing that he, too, preferred perfect and illy white to my dark skin and quite seemingly matronly features, and, knowing for myself that I wasn't his first choice– as he and I had of course met in Mazunte around the same time he had met whom he considered to be ‘his Goddess'-- albeit while on a topless beach and thus hynotized by her breasts. Men were hopeless. Then, here I was, waking up every other sleep cycle in the cold sweat of a wet dream, the subject of which I typically at least tried to keep deeply hidden in my subconscious psyche as secrets, although by now it seemed there really were none, and all that I knew and that I thought were known and seen by some other than myself–though somehow still holding true to my belief that there really was none other than myself–in my own broken and twisted world, alone and punished in the depths of mediocrity and shame. Woah. Riding the bus. There's nothing lower. There's walking. To the bus. Yah. And all the sick people. And all the crackheads. And all the–what are those? Demons [demon hacks.] Ugh, fucking–ugh. SHIA LABOUFF'S obsession with SUPACREE is helga petaki-meets Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch. Oh, wait, we're back on that storyline? I mean– I don't know how to write this. Just write it. he's a villain, right? I mean, that suit. SHIA LA– FUCK. WHAT?! Worst last name EVER. Well, not ever– Wait, is he black?! –It sounds french. GOOGLE SEARCH: ‘How Jewish is Shia LaBeouf? ‘ –no, he's Cajun – That's french-black–wait— –what? Cajun AND Jewish? –Yeah– Jesus! JESUS What? (raises one eyebrow) SUPACREE strategizes a plan of attack. Attack for what? {ATTACK} YOUUUU INCEPTED ME!!! AGH! {COUNTER ATTACK} NOT ME! DISNEY! {DODGING COUNTER ATTACK} Yeah, Blame “Disney!” I JUST DID. Oh, yeah, right!! RAVEN SYMONÉ It was Disney. THEY OK'D THIS?! They bought Marvel! THEY OK'D EVERYTHING. —Even the SKRILLEX? Especially the Skrillex —Especially the Skrillex. AGHHHHHHHH—— ———-AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! SHIA LABEOUF VS SUPACREE: FIGHT!!!! Everything looks good— —everything looks good. Everything looks fine— —Everything looks fine. But wait— What? What about that guy? Oh My— —oh my… Is he gonna be alright? Is that guy —gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright? Is—that guy gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright Is that guy— Gonna be alright? Is that guy gonna be alright?? Is that guy gonna be alright?! Is that guy gonna be alright m? Everything looks good— —everything looks fine Looks good— But what about that guy? …I don't know about that guy. Is he alright? Yo. Yooo. Stop writing songs about Skrillex. ((I literally can't.)) What?! It doesn't have to be about Skrillex! It could be about anybody! Here, they call with disco balls Stars in my eyes, but stars do fall First true love dies hard after all, No star shines bright as morning comes —(for) Sonny …I didn't write that. CUT TO: CC writes automagically between sets of heavy lifting. IMAGINARY FRIENDS, PART III DEADMAU5!!!! okay—one more—then cupcakes— Cupcakes? No cupcakes! I WANT CUPCAKES. Uh—No way! YES WAY. Mmm—no I'm sick of this diet! I'm not on a diet! I eat! You eat GRASS. I'm a vegan. This shit sucks. I told you, grass tastes bad. RICK?! (I also want cupcakes. ) Mmkay—ohh. You said that was the last one. No, more more. NO “one more” But I like this one—and it has the right amount of weights on it already—see? Jesús Christ He's not here. (Yes I am). Why the Fuxk. I also want cupcakes Okay, one more No “one more” The power of Christ compels ye! … Is that how that works? No. Maybe. (((Yes.))) AGHHH. The celebrities of Hollywood are gang stalking SUPACREE Can we— No. But I didn't even get to ask the question. The answer is no. THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD, after assembling with the Bampheramphs and Morherfuckers, have formed a supergroup tasked with bringing SUPACREE to THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE—so far, they have cunningly out-bested and outwitted THE US GOVERNMENT, including but not limited to THE FEDS, THE CIA, THE FBI and THE SECRET SERVICE. REALLY? I GUESS. HOW?! — DRAKE snoops on SUPACREE as she writes working half heartedly at THE NECK MACHINE with peaking curiosity, peaking over the time of his sunglasses. Whats it called. “Nautilus 4 way neck “ BPM: you're a jerk Do the Drake Do the Drake Do the Drake Work that neck Work that— Neck, Becky Work that neck, Work that neck Do the— “new note: Purchase ‘Honestly, nevermind' I had worked an entre month at LVAC before the circus went underway; Not a single drop of Skrillex had ever been played over the loudspeakers at any moment, for any of the time I had been employed there, nor had it burdened me any of the other time I had spent bettering myself within what I once cherished as sacred walls–now the illusion shattered, as nowhere I could seem to run – even the rural coastal jungle of Mexico-was far enough to escape the clammerings of something I quite honestly very much still loved, but wouldn't allow myself to enjoy— Or maybe, now, couldn't. BANGARANG. ‘Fuck this shit.' I wanted to move, but didn't—I wanted to leave, and probably should have, but wouldn't. I just sat there through it as my coworker, standing at about 5'4 ½ in a pair of tight black skinny jeans sang along and bounced rhymically. What the fuck. Then, as it had just been earlier that I was thinking of Sonny himself, and how, be it that any of my premonitions were actually accurate and true as I had once thought them to be, there would perhaps come a day that I regretted not listening to his works, just as one regrets not spending time with a loved one before their passing not giving enough attention to the little things, the tiny details, the time they had missed, but never missed without missing their loved one until it was too late. Then again, for me, any time in the then- present was too late, as I had only been followed, taunted, and ridiculed, openly humiliated and embarrassed, and never really paid directly for anything I had done, whether it did have to do with Skrillex or otherwise –and so I had made it more than a point to distance myself from it, anything having to do with it, or him, or anything really, music related—of course besides relying heavily on deadmau5 just for my own existence–that is, willingness wake up, move about the world and its endless, pointless constructs, and even so, completing a worthwhile workout with enough satisfaction that I could allow myself to leave the building–and now, with my commute taking up a grand total of 4 hours of my entire day—I didn't have the time or the energy to stay late into the days and even afternoons as I had before, or to arrive early as I had in the days and weeks before; Now this job was amounting to nothing at all, and I was surely less than breaking even. Whats the worry? You've got 20 minutes to write a story! Don't be sorry Mind your orders. You're a war chief Marry me, Oh pretty please— I plead to you, just sing for me Just think of me as a Never ending fantasy, At the very least When you bury me —and you buried me alive, Just for the look of things What makes us even Slitting wrists Or splitting things unevenly (Either thing benefits me, And my penis, I think.) Make me famous— She said Hate me or debate me, I have everything I need And I have everything you have, But I can leave, All with my dreams intact I do believe You think I'm evil Either way, unnecessary Why would I sit down and write a story— When you just did it for me? Why would I pledge allegiance to old glory She's ignoring me; Why would I change my name to satisfy your needs When mine sit idly by waiting Why would I dream of you, When you dream of me I have all I need, You have all of me in the other room While you watch cartoons with your lady I hate anime and now I hate you too, But I'm so stupid, Nothing soothes my moods, Except playing your tunes, Or music Whoop De Fucking do Would you Marry Me? He said (He never did, he just let her—) She said, I do And now they're doomed I built a tomb for two The bride and groom In music Two by two And used by Tuesday Music I presume To the beautiful Music I presume For the usual Music I presume For those who —- SHIA LABEOUF JUST DO IT. That is not how the end of the song goes. No, but this is how the end of the episode goes. Really!? How? [CC stares lifelessly forward out of the front window of the double decker bus; a man dressed in all blue catches her attention—another telepathic shapeshifter.] You brought…an umbrella? I told you there was a shit storm coming. Oh, nooh. Where's yours? I— don't care? That's right you don't. I don't. That's good you don't. I really don't. You don't give a Fuck, or a shit. I—don't give a fuck or a sh—wait— DILLON FRANCIS? I'm good at what I do. What do you DO? THIS. “A Silent Partner” Oh. I like that. That has all kinds of insinuations. Doesn't it? Hermph. You're a creep. A Supacreep. PAUSE ITS MISTER MAGOOoOOOOOOOooO0oO. No, it's the IRS. Fuck. HOLY SHIT SUNNI. WHAT. HOW DO YOU OWE 100,000 IN BACK TAXES?! Student loan debt. WHAT. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. Yes it does. HOW. Calm down Marci —MY ÑAME IS— [Sunnī Blū subdues her instantly with one if Supacree's mysterious rave weapons] Sit down, please. …what is that? You like it? Yeah. [she gives her another dose of strange vapor, she relaxes even further.] See. Yeah. Now that you're happy— —am i “happy” ? [she gives her another relaxing dose] —are you Happy? Yeah. Ok. So. I never filed my taxes because I had so muc

A couple of hundred years ago, our Planet and our Aotearoa looked quite different.  There were huge forests and wetlands, vast tussock lands and cool, high altitude alpine gardens. Birds and lizards, insects, spiders, fish and native frogs called it their home.  Slowly Homo sapiens started to turn things around; habitats disappeared, mining, urbanisation and an economy that only thinks of growth-at-all-cost.  Of course, some Parliamentarians –like Blind and deaf Freddy– are not always Nature-Literate enough to steer our bit of the planet in the right direction.  Communities and Environmental organisations are doing their thing to restore our Land. I am convinced that, together, they form the largest movement in the world and even Blind and Deaf Freddy never saw that coming.  This is the time to plant our whenua with locally-sourced native trees and shrubs. I'm talking about the Garden, but also about the Earth around us; the reserves; the walks-ways, you name it.  Waiwhakareke Natural heritage Park is a 60 hectare park in the making. On the NW side of Hamilton, near the zoo. It's really a wetland area with Biodiversity of the Hamilton Basin. Waiwhakareke (horseshoe lake) brilliant!  Council, Hamilton Zoo, Waikato Uni all together!  The last few days (Thursday and Friday) schools have been descending on the park; kids of all ages have been planting and my job was to totally disrupt the whole event, by pulling out huge earthworms when the holes were dug.  And Flatworms slithering on the soil substrate.  We discovered beetles and maggots in decaying tree trunks – the biodiversity turned from “Ooooh” and “Yuck!!” to a competition and utter delight. We found toadstools and other fungi; lichens and mosses  We set up a fine-meshed “mist net” to see if we could catch some birds to band with tiny aluminium rings with even tinier numbers on it – that's for the kids who wanted to work for DOC and become scientists.    Today we carry on, not just with kids, but with the Community of Hamilton, to plant and restore this magnificent Garden, which will look like the bush, all those decades ago.  LISTEN ABOVE See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

La sortie de La Planète des Singes - Du Roman aux Ecrans : la Fabuleuse Histoire, sorti chez Pix'n Love Editions est un événement puisque, pour la première fois, un ouvrage francophone retrace et analyse l'entièreté de l'histoire de la saga, à travers toutes les œuvres adaptant l'univers créé par Pierre Boulle. Il fallait forcément que son auteur, Nicolas Allard, vienne s'installer derrière le micro de Cornelius & Zira ! # Cornelius and Zira – Ep# 50 – Entretien avec Nicolas Allard (La Planète des Singes, du Roman aux Ecrans : la Fabuleuse Histoire) Celles et ceux qui ont pour habitude de lire les notes des épisodes de Cornelius & Zira savent qu'il m'arrive parfois de partir complètement en roue libre et de raconter un peu n'importe quoi, histoire que ça vaille le détour (et en partant du principe que quasiment personne ne lit les descriptifs des épisodes de podcasts). Mais là, j'ai un peu la pression ! Parce que, ça se trouve, Nicolas Allard, il va les lire les notes de cet épisode en particulier. Et Nicolas Allard, il est pas juste spécialiste de pop culture et de science-fiction. Il est professeur agrégé de lettres modernes en classes préparatoires et docteur en littérature française. Docteur ! C'est vraiment son titre, contrairement à moi qui suit un vulgaire imposteur ! En plus de ça, vas-y que je fais le mariole à le tutoyer pendant l'enregistrement de l'épisode. Et puis je sais bien que je laisse toujours traîner des coquilles dans mes notes. C'est sûr qu'il va les voir et qu'il va se dire que je suis un sacré branque ! Bon, je me mets probablement une pression inutile, parce que, si vous avez eu l'impression en écoutant cet épisode que Nicolas Allard est super sympa et bien je peux confirmer qu'il est à la ville comme à la scène comme on dit quand c'est qu'on veut faire croire qu'on est culturé. Il m'en tiendra surement pas rigueur.... Attendez ! Ça se trouve, il va croire que j'écris ça parce que je pense qu'il va le lire. Alors qu'en fait j'écris ça parce que je le pense vraiment. Sauf que c'est exactement ce qu'un faux derche écrirait... Ooooh ! Dans quoi je me suis pas embarqué encore ? Je peux pas faire comme tout le monde et écrire des notes qui tiennent en deux lignes et demi ? Eh ben non ! Faut toujours que je veuille faire le malin ! Il faut quand même que je pense aussi à celles et ceux qui liraient ces notes AVANT pour se décider à écouter ou non cet épisode. Alors, je vous rassure tout de suite, on a parlé de plein de choses sérieuses ! On est forcément revenu sur l'histoire de Pierre Boulle et sur le contexte géopolitique pendant lequel il a rédigé son roman (à savoir la décolonisation). On a évoqué René Barjavel, Michael Wilson ainsi que la Controverse de Valladolid . On a parlé du rachat de la 20th Century Fox par Disney. Par contre, on n'a rien dit de La Planète des Singes : Le Nouveau Royaume, parce que ça, on le fera dans le prochain épisode ! Bim ! C'est pas du teasing de qualité ça ? Bref, si des gens sérieux lisent ces notes, sachez que dans la vérité du vrai monde de la réalité IRL, je suis capable d'être très sérieux, mais Cornelius & Zira, c'est d'abord un fanzine. Audio, certes, mais un fanzine. Donc, on fait ça sérieusement, mais en se marrant. Tant qu'on peut le faire ! Sur ces belles paroles, je vous souhaite une très bonne écoute (si ce n'est pas déjà fait) et je remercie encore très chaleureusement Nicolas Allard pour sa gentillesse et sa sympathie ! A très bientôt les primates !!! podCloud | Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify | BlueSky | Mastodon | Le serveur Discord super secret | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | TikTok

Can you spell these simple words? Ooooh, squirrel!

Courtney's weird eye thing, Road Rage callers, the first day of Courtney's Cash, and trouble pronouncing this morning's App Of The Day

Ooooh skunks are so CUTE! Even if they smell a little. What does Skunk Spirit have to say to us as we remember to balance the expansive energies of spring with hermiting? Be YOU. This short episode is a great reminder and inspiration to shine. Thank you to Collette Baron-Reid for creating your Spirit Animal Oracle deck. :)"Everything is right the way it is right now," is a quote by Jared, who texted that to me one night.Music by Oleksii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay Participate in the 100 Ways Community: Email Me: https://laurachristine.us/contact or LC@laurachristine.us Support our show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/100waysBook a session: https://buymeacoffee.com/100ways/commissions Facebook: https://facebook.com/laurachristine808Instagram: https://instagram.com/100wayspodcast

Ooooh, es sind viele angestaute Meinungen, Gefühle und Erfahrungen, die es in diese Folge geschafft haben! Muttertag ist schon lange ein wunder Punkt für mich, aber der letzte Muttertagsgottesdienst hat mir den Rest gegeben. Was denkst du? Lass uns das Gespräch bei Instagram weiterführen: @kati_siemens Links aus diesem Podcast: Mehr Infos und Downloads im Blog: katisiemens.de/blog/246 Menstruationsguide Musik von Levi McGrath (zur Website) Ich möchte mich herzlich bei dir bedanken, dass du eingeschaltet hast! Es ist mir eine große Ehre dich als Teil dieser Gemeinschaft dabei zu haben und wäre dir unglaublich dankbar, wenn du mir eine Rezension und Bewertung hinterlassen könntest um mehr Frauen zu ermächtigen und aufzuklären.

Ooooh the mail's here! Cue the Blue's Clues mail song! Welcome back to the second half of the Cat & Cloud Podcast, After Hours

Ooooh, this Alex Pearl and her triangle eyebrows is an evil woman! So today we are discussing episode 21 called “After Hours.” Before we get to all of the drama that is Alex Pearl, it seems like everyone else is preparing for their finals and by everyone we mean Joey. Jack is giving a valiant effort and y'all get to hear my really awesome bro expression. Audrey is pretending to study but she's only concerned about Pacey and what may or may not be going on with Alex. And let's not forget about Dawson who also foregoes any studying to have a slutty night with the movie critic from the previous episode. Didn't think we'd see this chick again. Finally, we hold the juiciest part of this episode until the end - Alex and Pacey. Alex is turning out to be a bit cray and sends Pacey insane mixed messages.

This week, comedian Dobie Maxwell joins the idiots for fun and merriment. 00:00 Welcome! 00:32 A Really Smart Comment 04:07 Outrage over the movie The Fall Guy 12:50 Legal Failures 22:32 Influencers 28:49 Rob Marciano, Fired 32:15 New York Times Investigation The breakdown: —People are amusing. You can say something plainly, in their native language, it can be a simple concept, and yet they will find a way to be so dumb they miss the point (and the truth) entirely. Basically, Jake and nathan made very clear statements about the idiot college kids protesting the Israel/Palestine conflict, and someone who was either (a) not paying attention, or (b) is too partisan to see reality, took umbrage. Let's clear things up, shall we? —It's one of our favorite topics: the outrage machine! Something (anything) happens, and dumb people react on Twitter. Should they be listened to, or ignored? Ignored, right? And yet, a reporter with no real morals or values knows that clickbait is the most important thing out there, so they round up several tweets by idiots and write the article, “People are Angry!” Well, no one is really angry, and no one should care about the four people who are. As nathan states (too many times) in the video: The Fall Guy is a fun movie. Go see it. (Side note: a quick discussion is also had regarding Elon Musk buying Twitter and then giving it the worst rebrand since New Coke.) —This one is baffling. Prosecutors had slam dunk cases with both Bill Cosby & Harvey Weinstein…  AND THEY BOTCHED BOTH OF THEM!! (All caps = serious business.) Come on… how do you screw up so badly that Cosby gets set free, and Harvey gets a conviction overturned. It's absurd.  (Side note: discussions of Russell Simmons taking his money and fleeing the country a la Roman Polanski are had.) —Kim Kardashian promoted a “vampire facial,” where you get your face poked by a needle until you're covered in your own blood… And that's supposed to be good for you. Well, two practitioners contracted HIV, so… Good luck with that. (Side note: who knew Logan Paul was behind the energy drink, Prime? I mean, it was a horrible drink to begin with, but seriously: if you're taking advice from Kim Kardashian or Logan Paul, ya kinda deserve anything bad that happens to you.) —I didn't know who Rob Marciano was until the story hit that he'd been fired by ABC. Apparently he was a weatherman on Good Morning America, and he had a temper. A weatherman with a temper. There is just something so amusing about that. —Oh, the clickbait headline… Everyone loves it, right? Well, The NY Times had a doozy of one. The clickbait was, “Study shows side effects of COVID vaccine!!!!” Very scary, right? The outcome? .0001% of people have an adverse reaction to the vaccination. So… Yeah. “Ooooh, scary.” Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com Angry Man Photo by Photo by Andrea Piacquadio, via Pexels. 

 Tim visits ChristineBy LiminallySpaced. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. We settled in the spacious living room, and as we made awkward small talk on the couch it became clear that neither of us really knew how this was going to go. This wasn't a clandestine meeting in a car or a changing room, this was alone, full privacy, in her house.Attempting to break this odd, new ice, I leaned in to kiss her. It was a futile attempt as she quickly and politely popped up and made her way to the tv to grab the remote control."You wanna put on a movie or something?" She said nervously, fidgeting with the controls. I could tell something was wrong. Or at least unsure."Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, honestly wanting to know what was irking my friend."Oh, God, I knew it, I knew I was going to mess this up," she said, pacing back and forth, finally coming to rest back on the couch, turned towards me. "This is just, I'm just nervous.""About what?""About, this."I chuckled a bit at the thought. "Christine, it's not like we've never, ""I know," she said, cutting me off, "but it's, different." She took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing. "It's just that we're here, in my house, no interruptions, comfortable, I'm just worried that maybe we're going to get Too comfortable, and we won't be able to stop ourselves."Ah, there it was."Is that why you're dressed like you're going on a ski trip?" I joked. She nodded with an embarrassed smile. "Is that what happened with Eric?" I said, a bit more seriously.She nodded again."We were here, on this couch, together, alone, kissing, and then we were naked." The image was vivid in my head as my cock strained against my pants. "And I could feel him against me, and I was so, wet,” my cock twitched again. It always twitched when this good Christian girl got descriptive in her naughtiness. “ and we thought it was what we both wanted, and then I felt him pushing into me, I felt him inside me," she paused a moment as she rolled up to the true confession of the story, "and I felt awful, because it felt so good."I took her hand in mine. This was a real crisis for her, and one I definitely was not going to take lightly, despite the raging rod of hormones in my pants."You don't need to be ashamed, Christine," I said, trying to comfort her, "it's the most natural thing in the world, but I also understand where you're coming from. And that's why you don't have to worry about us tonight." She looked up at me, almost teary-eyed. "We have our rules in place for a reason, and I'm not going to let either of us break them."She smiled at me, and pulled me in for a deep kiss. It was a good kiss, but when I felt her hand slide toward my crotch I stopped her."But," I said, pulling away from that great kiss, "I'm also not going to let you feel ashamed of your body and for wanting to experience pleasure, so I want to try something different tonight, ok?" Christine gave me a suspicious look. "It won't break any of our rules, I promise. You just need to trust me. Do you trust me?"She took a moment to think, and then slowly nodded her head. I believed her."Ok good," I said, standing up, holding out my hand, "now let's go to your bedroom; I want you to be as comfortable as possible for this."Reluctantly, she took my hand and led me to her bedroom.Christine's bedroom was the bedroom of a late-teenage girl who was excited about life. There were posters, books, charms and trinkets, but it was all very neat, all very clean. In the middle of the room was a large double bed, impeccably made, and a comfy-looking lounge chair next to a nearby end table.I thought about that bed as I led her to sit on the edge. I wanted to share it with her. I wanted to be wrapped up in the sheets, deep inside her, but no, that wouldn't be happening. Not tonight.We have rules.I stepped up to her and leaned down to kiss her again, my hands running up her neck and into her long hair. She moaned, and I felt her hand begin to idly stroke the bulge in my pants. I let her do it; I wanted her turned up to 11 for this.We kissed deeply, passionately, and her groping became more insistent. I could tell her hips were squirming around beneath her. She was extremely turned on. That's when I pulled away.Leaving her momentarily breathless, I walked over to the lounge chair, and sat down. Christine smiled as she stood up, moving to join me, no doubt anticipating that I might want a blow job, but I put my hand up, stopping her."I don't want you to be ashamed of yourself, or afraid of your body," I said, as she looked on confused but aroused, "so we're not allowed to touch each other tonight. That's the new rule.""What?""We're only allowed to touch ourselves, ok?""Tim, I don't know, I've never, ""I know, and that's the point. I want you to be selfish. To explore.""What about you?""I'll be here to guide you and encourage you, while I enjoy the show. ok?"Her eyes flicked down to the hardness in my pants. She nodded with a smirk.I got up, clicked off the bedroom light, leaving only the dull mood lighting of nearby lamps to illuminate the scene. I took my seat in the lounge chair again."I want you to take off your pants. And then your shirt."Christine nodded, and slowly began to unbutton her jeans. Her hips shimmied deliciously as she peeled them down her long legs, revealing white, high-cut panties clinging tight to her womanly lips and the cheeks of her ass.Kicking her pants across the floor she paused momentarily, then reached down to the hem of her sweatshirt. Crossing her arms and gripping the edge of the garment, she raised her arms up, slowly revealing to me first the smooth skin of her flat stomach, and then the matching white, demi cup bra. Arms stretched up over head she pulled the sweatshirt completely off, and tossed it on the floor with her jeans.I took in the sight before me, and my hand mindlessly dropped to the straining bulge in my pants and squeezed. Christine never took her eyes off of it."Please, let me touch you," she said, eyes locked on my bulge.I just shook my head and smiled. "Now the bra, and then the panties."Now it was her turn to shake her head. I thought for a moment I had pushed things too far, until she followed up with "your clothes first."I smiled again, and stood up. There was barely three feet between us, yet the tension made it feel like we were miles away.I pulled off my shirt and slid down my shorts, and in a show of solidarity, I then peeled off my underwear as well, freeing my hard, thick cock to the night air."Is this ok?" I asked, before moving things forward again.She nodded.Then, in a moment I will never be able to delete from my mind, Christine, the pastor's daughter, my friend from church, reached up, unclipped her bra, and let the cups fall away from her chest. Her small, modest breasts created a lovely swell off the flat of her chest, and her nipples stood out so hard that it seemed like they were reaching out to me. What a sight. They were as beautiful as I had imagined, if not more so. Not nearly enough to slide my cock between, but plenty still to grab and squeeze, with nipples perfect for sucking.But not tonight. Tonight we had rules.Christine wasn't done; her hands slid to the band of her panties, and drew them down off her hips, revealing to me a perfect, tight cunt with a perfectly groomed triangle of hair practically pointing like an arrow to her clit. A clit I desperately wanted to lick and suck. A cunt I wanted to feel squeeze tight around me.But not tonight. Tonight we had rules.My cock bobbed in a surge of arousal as we both drank in the sights of our nude bodies on display for each other. "Wow,” was all I could muster up to say in the moment, eliciting a bashful smile from Christine."Now," I said, sitting back down in the chair, "I'm going to stay right here, and I want you to go lie down in your bed. Make yourself comfortable."After a moment, she turned to move toward the bed, and I got my first glorious view of her perfect naked ass as she climbed in.Comfortable on her back, one knee kicked up slightly, she looked back toward me. Toward my hard cock.I reached down with one hand and gently and languidly began stroking myself. Her eyes never left it. Her legs began to fidget and squeeze with obvious arousal."Does it turn you on to watch me touch myself?" I said, taking in how entranced she was."Yes," she said almost breathlessly."What are you thinking about as you watch me?""How much I want to feel it, taste it, ""Is it making you wet?"She nodded in the affirmative, her legs shifting and squeezing quite a bit now."Prove it," I said quietly so as not to break the mood.She was confused. "What? How?""Reach down with your hand. Feel with your fingers how wet you are. I want to see it on your fingers."Hesitantly, and still never letting her eyes leave the stroking hand on my cock, she slipped her fingers between her legs. Her eyes finally closed and a sigh escaped her mouth as she dipped into the wetness.Eyes opening ever so slightly, she retrieved her hand and held it up to me. Sure enough her fingers glimmered in the low lamplight, and a thin string of sticky fluid arched between them.This girl was drenched."Good," I said with a smile, "now I want you to close your eyes, and touch your body all over.""How?" She said back. It was a strange question, but given the situation, and her lack of self-love experience, I guess it wasn't that strange."Touch yourself, like you'd want someone else to touch you. Close your eyes, forget I'm here, and explore yourself like a lover."She smiled as she closed her eyes. Her hard nipples rose and fell heavily now. She was in.She started with her face. Her fingers danced over her cheekbones, dipping between her lips before they moved down the length of her neck.She dripped over her prominent collarbone, but hesitated when she reached the flat of her chest. Her breathing got more labored as she stroked back and forth, nervously. I knew instantly she wasn't teasing herself, she was nervous to touch her own breasts for the purpose of pleasure, timid about triggering those hard, pink nipples of hers. Apprehensive to send joyous spikes through her body."It's ok," I said, trying to encourage her, "make yourself feel good."Her eyes were squeezed shut in that adorable grimace she had when she was focusing on sex. Her hands swirled around the flat of her chest one more time, and then bypassed her tits completely, sliding down to her stomach, and then over her hips and thighs.She wasn't there quite yet, but I knew that with enough motivation, there would be nowhere else she would want to go."What are you thinking about?" I said, stroking my own rigid arousal lazily as I watched Christine timidly feel around her body."I don't know," she said with a nervous smile, "what SHOULD I be thinking about?""Think about things that turn you on, that get you wet, maybe something you've done in the past, maybe something you'd like to do in the future, "Christine exhaled lustily as an image clearly entered her mind."Tell me." I urged, "tell me what you're thinking about.""I'm thinking about,” she began, fighting through her own shyness, “ I'm thinking about, ""Yes

Let the Normal Curve tell you when you've got Statistically Significant Evidence; NOT Opinions! After a Brief Review of our Proposed Tree-Knock Experiment, We Will take a Deep and Detailed Dive Into the Mysterious and Intricate, yet scientifically essential, Bell-Shaped/Normal Curve!! Ooooh, Boy!!! Bring a Focused Interest! A fundamental presentation for anyone interested in Scientific Sasquatch Research!!!!Please SUBSCRIBE and hit the NOTIFICATION BELL so you'll be able to attend New Episodes of Grasping Sasquatch. You will also enjoy the other awesome shows on the Untold Radio Network!… but if you can't attend, please remember that the recorded show can be viewed on YouTube, and through the Untold Radio Network soon after the show! An Audio Podcast Version can also be Downloaded from Most Major Podcast Platforms!Please SUBSCRIBE to support our efforts to entertain and inform! Only your FREE SUBSCRIPTION will allow us to continue to bring you our awesome programs!

A Humiliated woman continues her narrative. By LiminallySpaced. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. But before I could think too much about Stephanie's implied jealously toward Tara, Stephanie moved things along. "So Tim; what was this 'wild' thing you saw?" "Well," I began, conjuring up the images I had witnessed, "I was doing some prep for the grad ceremony after school, and I forgot my bag in Ms. Dorman's room. I went back to get it on my way out and,” the pause wasn't so much for dramatic effect as much as it was me still not totally believing what I saw. “ I saw Ms. Dorman bent over her desk. Getting fucked from behind."Stephanie's folding stopped. "What?" she said, excitedly, finally looking up at me. "Yeah, no shit," I chuckled, "she had her skirt up around her waist and she was getting fucking RAILED. And not by her fiance!" "Oh my God, who was it?" Stephanie blurted, raising an excited hand to her cheek, dropping her cold exterior to revel in the hot gossip. I looked her dead in the eyes. I knew the answer to this would elicit a response from her, and I wanted to see it. "Mr. Ridley," I said. Stephanie looked away from me. "Oh really?" she said flatly. She grabbed the shirt she had been folding and got up off the bed, heading towards her closet. "Good for him," she said, her back to me. "Yeah, Ms. Dorman actually caught me watching, we talked about it afterward," I continued, my eyes watching her back for any sign of expression, "she and her fiance are in a sexless rut, and Ridley kept hounding her, so she decided to give in. They do it every couple weeks or so, but she doesn't seem to find it very satisfying, I definitely don't think he's making her cum." "Hmph, not surprising," she reflexively chortled. That was it, that was something I was looking for. There definitely was something to her story of lost virginity, but I wasn't sure what. I needed to find out. "Stephanie, that story you told me the other night, about how you lost your virginity, was it true?" "Why does it matter?" She said, idling at the closet, her back still to me, "I was a virgin, I got fucked, and then I wasn't. Who cares how it happened?" "I care," I said, attempting to break through her defenses, "I care about, you." It wasn't a lie. Her fidgeting stopped and she turned towards me, a reticent look on her face. I was starting to put the picture together. "It was Ridley, wasn't it?" I said, a gross taste at the back of my mouth as I said it. "Just maybe not exactly like you described?" Stephanie paused a moment, a far away look on her face, then moved over to the bed. She climbed in and wedged herself between the pillows at her headboard, knees tucked up almost under her chin. She took a deep breath. "I had such a crush on him," she began. My stomach went cold. Ugh. Ridley. "I thought I was such hot shit - I had jerked a few guys off, but that was it, really. Didn't matter though, I thought I was the queen of sex and seduction. You start to see what you can do to a man, to his cock, and you start to feel powerful." She wasn't lying. I knew from first hand experience how powerful a woman can be with your cock in her hand. "He was the hot young teacher, all the girls talked dirty about him. He flirted with everyone, So when he became the assistant coach, I decided I was going to do what the other girls wouldn't dare; I was going to fuck him." I moved over to where she was, and sat on the edge of the bed. "On a tournament trip?" I asked, breathlessly. "No," she continued, "I had made it a point to start flirting back, and one day after practice It was just him and me putting the equipment away. It was quiet, we were alone, so I went up to him and grabbed his cock." My pants started to tighten. Decency be damned, her taboo story was making me hard. "He groaned and smiled," she went on, "and I reached in and pulled it out. I hadn't seen that many dicks at that point, and his was the first that was curved, which was interesting." I chuckled. This little detail confirmed her story was true. "I was rubbing his cock, jerking him off, and I kept wanting to go in to kiss him, but he just wouldn't shut the fuck up, so I'm standing there, jacking his cock, and he's going 'yeah, that's it, yeah, jerk it' like some fucking porno!" "Oh wow, that's classy," I said sarcastically. This supposed lothario of a teacher seemed to be a real jackass. "So I'm jerking him off, and he starts going 'yeah, you want it? You want that cock, baby?' and I mean, despite it being less than the sexiest thing I've ever experienced, it was what I came for, and as you know I always keep my word,” visions of Stephanie by my side at the prom flashed in my head as I nodded. "And so I just said 'yeah, baby, i want that cock!'" She shook her head in embarrassment. "My God, I can't believe I actually said that,'' she chuckled. "Well, in any event, that seemed to be all the invitation he needed," she sighed, "because as soon as I said that, he grabbed me, spun me around and started squeezing my tits." That cold twinge of jealousy grew into my stomach, but it was more than just jealousy. The thought of Ridley grabbing her tits, poking into her back with his hard, bent cock made me a little angry. He was a total tool, and he was getting to have this experience with Stephanie, a girl who definitely deserved better. "It was a pretty exhilarating experience. My cunt is wet, is what I'm saying, so when he started pawing at my shorts, I didn't stop him, and I reached down and helped him out." My cock throbbed at the imagery, I wished it was me sliding her pants off. "So he yanks my shorts and panties down," she said with a bit of a pause. Her eyes got kind of far away for a moment as she conjured up the memory. "And he bends me over. I'm grasping for anything to stabilize myself, and he's just saying 'you want this cock, don't you? You want me to give it to you?' and I wasn't lying when I said 'yes, give me that cock!' like a goddamn pornstar." Her legs shifted together a bit at this moment. I couldn't tell if it was from arousal or embarrassment. "So I'm expecting, I don't know what I was expecting, I guess a bit more tenderness? A bit of foreplay? Some consideration at all of my own needs at the very least, but instead, as I'm there bent over the equipment rack, I hear him spit into his hand. Then I feel the head of his cock line itself up between my cunt lips, and he just starts to push into me. There wasn't any pain, like I said, I sure was wet, but it was just a very sudden, surprising experience. I gasped, and he kept pushing, and my body keeps taking him in, and then I feel his hips against my thighs; I've got his whole cock inside me. I wanted to take a minute to get used to it all, but he immediately starts pulling out, and then he thrusts back in. I feel him grab my hips with both hands, and then he just starts pumping. He's fucking me. It feels good, but it's all so overwhelming, I can't really focus on anything. I'm gasping for a controlled breath, and he's just pounding away at me, grunting, saying "yeah, take it, take that cock, you volleyball girls are built for fucking!'" She laughed a bit at the ridiculousness of what was being said. I cringed. "So he's fucking me, pretty uncontrolled and erratically, and just as I'm starting to get used to the sensation, he pulls out of me, grunts loudly, and starts cumming on the back of my leg." "Again," I said, "real classy." She laughed in agreement. "Yeah, I mean it was all over so fast, and now there I was, leaning against an equipment rack, dripping with spunk, trying to figure out what the hell I just experienced" she laughed again. "Then to put the cherry on it, he slaps my ass, and says 'thanks babe,' in a gross 'bro voice,' can you believe it?" "I can, actually," I said. What a twat this guy was. "And so that was it," she concluded, "it was just the one time, and we never even really talked to each other for the rest of the season." "What'd the other girls say when you told them?" "I didn't. I just, I don't know, like I'm not mad about it or anything, but it just wasn't, it just wasn't worth talking about." We sat in silence for a moment. I looked at Stephanie. She deserved so much better. He could have felt those long, shimmering legs wrapped around him, felt her wet cunt grip his cock and pulsate as she orgasmed. He could have heard her squeal in delight as he took her nipple into his mouth. This gorgeous creature in front of me deserved to be worshiped and experienced, not treated like a kleenex. He didn't even kiss her. Silently, I shifted up next to her on the bed. She looked me in the eye. Her long legs stretched out in front of her. She had let her guard down. I reached my hand up and gently touched her face. She didn't flinch. I ran my thumb gently over her lips. Those full, luscious lips of her, he didn't even kiss them. So I did. It was electric. I heard her exhale quietly as our lips touched, and she let out a low moan as my tongue slipped into her mouth. I felt her hand touch my leg. It squeezed. Our lips glided over each other, and we began to pull each other close, when all of a sudden she broke our embrace and pushed away. No words were said, but the look on her face was one of trepidation. At this point, despite all the times she'd blown me, jerked me off, or all the times I'd eaten her out or sucked her nipples, we had never kissed. We had crossed a line into a new level of intimacy, and she wasn't sure how to handle it. What it meant. What I meant. I looked down and saw her hand gripping my thigh, oh so close to my hard cock. I reached down, took her hand off my leg, and put it back beside her. I would love to have felt her hand on my cock again, on my swollen balls, but this wasn't about me. It was about her. About experiencing her. About showing her that I was real. Putting her hand down by her side, I reached back up, cupped her cheek, and smiled at her. She closed her eyes. She was nervous. I leaned in and felt the heat of her breath on my face as we kissed once more. Her nervousness broke, her body relaxed, and I felt her tongue enter my mouth as I pulled her close. Our tongues sparred with each other slowly, passionately. She wrapped her arms around my head, and my hands ran up and down her body. We languished in each others' mouths with deliberate kisses. My lips and tongue loved on hers, sliding away for hot excursions to her neck and jawline that elicited shallow gasps from Stephanie before my lips joined hers once again. My hard cock pressed into her hip, and her legs began to slide back and forth against each other in arousal. Without ever leaving the safety of her lips, my free hand slid down her body, past the swell of her perfect breasts and hard nipples, down over her flat stomach, and under the elastic of her pajama pants. There were no panties to be found. My fingers quickly became slick as they slipped between the swollen lips of her cunt. Stephanie moaned into my mouth and her hand came up and gripped my face as we kissed. I dipped a finger inside her, feeling the tight heat of her body, then drew her wetness up in search of her clit. A gasp and a soft bite of my lower lip told me I had struck gold. My fingers massaged her hard clit in slow, smooth circles, around and around, dipping back into her wet core periodically to refresh their lubrication. Ragged breaths released into my mouth as our lips continued their passionate dance, and she pulled me tighter as the tension mounting in her core grew higher and higher. Around and around went my fingers. Her hand gripped my hair tight. Around and around went my fingers. Little squeals and yelps started to escape from her throat as her body started to twitch. Around and around went my fingers. She pulled her mouth away from mine and threw her head back, gasping for air. My continuous kisses on her neck and jawline egged her on. Around and around, around and around, my fingers summoned her orgasm. Her squeals and yelps came faster now. The hand that wasn't gripping my hair grasped wildly at the sheets of her bed, and with a final, exuberant "fuck!" I heard those three delicious moans burst from her throat in their short-short-long succession as she began to cum. It was at that moment that I sipped my finger down into her cunt while my thumb strummed her clit through her orgasm. I needed to feel it. I needed to feel her. Her body tensed around me, and my finger was deep in her spasming cunt. I felt it squeeze and release my finger in a wild rhythm. Her thighs squeezed my hand, and she shook as the pleasure worked its way through her body. Coming down from her euphoric high, I cupped her cunt gently with my hand and held it there as her breath began to return to normal. She turned to look at me, and took my lips back onto hers. We held each other, kissing slowly and romantically as I felt the warmth of her vagina and the pressure of her thighs. Somewhere along the way both of us drifted off to sleep. Minutes later, hours later, days later, who's to say, a pleasant feeling gently roused me from my sleep. A warm feeling. A wet feeling. The moonlight diffused through the curtains on Stephanie's windows was the only light, and as consciousness returned, the feeling became more pronounced. I looked toward the source of this glorious wake up call; my crotch; and through sleepy eyes I saw a dark figure hunched over me. Hair bobbing up and down in a messy bun, the only sound in the dark room the slight, subtle slurp of a mouth sliding slowly up and down my iron-hard cock. "Stephanie?" I squeaked out. The sucking came to a slow halt, and the figure rose up to look at me, perched on her knees between my legs. Bathed in the soft moonlight was Stephanie. She was completely naked. A soft smile skirted across her lips, and she leaned forward, a strand of golden hair falling in front of her face. It drew a line up my chest as her face floated down toward mine. Still only half awake, I felt her lips touch mine in a passionate kiss as she snaked her body, throwing her leg over me. Stradling me. My cock was straining to the heavens as we kissed. I could feel the heat radiating off of her cunt as it floated above me. Our lips parted, and her eyes found mine in the darkness. We made no sound, but for our ragged, excited breaths. Her eyes asked the question, and my eyes gave the answer. Reaching back with one hand, she gently grasped my straining cock, and positioned it snugly at her opening. "Oh my God," I gasped. My hands reached up and gripped her spread thighs tightly. Then with one, long, agonizingly slow movement, my step sister's best friend lowered herself down on top of me, taking the full length of my cock deep into her body with one stroke. We both gasped. My cock was completely enveloped by her hot, wet cunt; my cock was in Stephanie's cunt; and even the slightest shift or movement sent shocks through my whole body. I was inside my first woman, a woman I truly cared about, and this overwhelming new sensation sent me careening toward the edge. Stephanie ever so slightly began to rise up, drawing her tight lips along my screaming length. I gasped again, losing all control over my breath. My balls churned again, and that coil of sweet pleasure came rushing to my core. "That's it, Timmy," Stephanie cooed as she increased her deliberate up and down grinding on my cock. That name, Timmy, a name that had once been a weapon used to tease and torment me, took on a new, erotic meaning as this golden goddess took the length of my cock inside her. It was now a term of want. Of desire. This wasn't hard, fast, staccato fucking, this girl was using her whole body to coax me toward ultimate pleasure. My whole body was vibrating. "That's it," she said lovingly, placing her hand on the side of my head as she watched me lose control. "That's it, Timmy," she whispered once again, followed by the command of all commands: "Cum for me. Cum inside me." The white hot spring snapped. My head lolled back, and my mouth hung open, overcome with sensation. My balls rushed up tight, my cock flared out hard against the walls of Stephanie's cunt, and I began filling her with torrent upon torrent of hot cum. "That's it, baby, that's it," she encouraged as her tight cunt milked the pleasure out from my very soul. I felt the walls of her cunt twitch and slide as I flooded her with my semen, and Stephanie pulled me close to her as she rode me through the waves of euphoria. "That's it, baby, that's it." I pulsed inside her for what felt like days, and I felt as though I would have flown away if it weren't for the weight of her glorious body to keep me on earth. She laid down upon me fully now as my cock began to soften inside her. Her perfect breasts pressed tight to my chest, and our breathing matched in a deep, synchronized rhythm. I wrapped my arms around her and smiled as we both began to slip into sleep once more. "I might be in love" I thought as the world fell away, "and she leaves in three weeks." Chapter 13: It's graduation day, so that means party time! I was sweating my ass off in the heat, seated amongst my fellow graduating classmates, but I didn't care. My friend Mike sat next to me, and was talking to me about something or other, but I didn't hear a word he said. My mind was on one thing and one thing only. I woke up that morning alone. The previous night had to have been a dream, right? But as my eyes fluttered open and the blur of morning vision dissipated, Stephanie's room came into view. It was no dream. I laid there, wrapped like a snake in the covers of her bed, and basked in my memories of the previous evening. Stephanie had opened up to me in more ways than one, and a night of passion and care where I had given her my full attention had ended with her taking my virginity. Stephanie, my step-sister's best friend, the girl who tormented me relentlessly as kids, took my virginity, and fell asleep on top of me with a womb full of my cum. I smiled at the memory, and felt a throb between my legs. I hadn't realized it at first, but the magic of "morning wood" had drawn my cock out long and hard. I enjoyed the feeling. I reveled in my erection, a proud reminder of my manhood, and every thought replaying the previous night's events in my mind just reinforced the solid structure. I turned my attention toward the bedroom door as Stephanie came padding in. Fresh from the shower, she had a towel wrapped around her head, and wore nothing else but a black bra and panty set. She stopped at the vanity mirror across from her bed, and began drying her hair. For a moment she didn't notice I was awake. Her reflection in the mirror afforded me the pleasure of taking in both sides of her body at the same time. Her tight, flat stomach and the swell of her supple breasts on one side, the curve of her long soft back, the bump of her perfect ass, and the full length of her statuesque legs on the other. I had been between those legs last night. I had been inside that exquisite body. The stiffness between my legs did not abate. I watched her in silence, when her eyes suddenly caught mine in the mirror. She tried to stifle the smile that formed on her lips, looking down as she did so. Clearly she was remembering last night too. "Morning," she said, catching my eyes again as she continued to dry her hair. "Morning," I said back. I couldn't stop the grin forming on my face if I tried. "What time is it?" "Its early," she said, moving toward her closet to find some clothes, "You should be able to get back home without anyone noticing." "Trying to get rid of me?" I teased, sitting up in bed. She chuckled as she moved back toward her vanity, draping her shirt over the chair. She shifted her weight to one side, flaring her hips out deliciously. "I've gotta go to work," she said, affixing her earrings, "and you've got a big day in front of you." "What if we both just, skipped?" I said, shifting myself over to the edge of the bed closest to her. Stephanie turned around to face me, resting her ass on the edge of the vanity, arms crossed across her breasts. "You want to skip your high school graduation?" she said with a cocked eyebrow. "I would," I said, getting up off the bed, revealing my stiffened state. I slowly closed the distance between us, led by my erection. She chuckled again. Her eyes flicked down to my hard cock. She uncrossed her arms and braced herself on the edge of the vanity. I leaned in close, and paused for just a moment to watch Stephanie moisten her lips with her tongue. I smiled, and went in for a kiss. She sighed slightly as our lips met. Our tongues quickly began to tangle and spar. My hand drifted up to her stomach and felt the smooth skin atop tight muscle, then slid down over her hip. My finger slowly slipped beneath the band of her panties. Stephanie suddenly broke the kiss. "Listen Tim," she began. My stomach sank. This was it. The rejection was en route. She would tell me I was a good guy and it was fun, but it was a mistake and we should just go back to;  "We need to be smart about this." Her hand came up and gently touched my chest. "What is your step mom going to say if she catches you coming in?" I smiled. I leaned into her, laying my erection across her thigh. I slipped another finger into her panties and started to pull down. She didn't stop me. "I'll tell her I was out for a run." "You don't look like you were out for a run," she said through a shallow breath. As my hands slid her panties over her legs, I followed them down till I was on my knees in front of her. "Well then," I began as my hands started running up and down Stephanie's golden calves. Her eyes closed dreamily, and she instinctively parted her legs. "I guess we'll just need to find a way for me to work up a sweat!" Stephanie laughed in disbelief as my head drifted between her thighs. "Good God, I've created a monster!" A loud gasp escaped her throat as I drew my tongue up between the lips of her cunt; she was already wet. I immediately lifted one of her firm thighs over my shoulder as my tongue lapped away at her sweet center. Good lord she tasted good. Gasping breaths quickly turned to squeaks and moans. One hand left the edge of the vanity and gripped my hair tightly. Her hips gyrated and humped at my lips and tongue as I pleasured her. Wanting to drive her completely over the edge, I took one hand off her thigh, quickly dipped two fingers into my mouth, and then slid them up into her sweet cunt, eliciting a loud, throaty "oh!" It was a cry of pure sensation, with no care for whether anyone heard her. My fingers massaged her tight walls while my tongue ran circles around her clit. Her body began to vibrate. Her breaths came short and fast between syrupy moans, and then all at once her hand pulled my face tight to her cunt, her legs clamped closed around my head, and I heard that sweet chorus of moans; short, short,long; as Stephanie's body was rocked by orgasm. Before her cunt even finished pulsing, her leg slid off my shoulder, and she pulled me up by my hair with a breathy "c'mere, c'mere." I stood up quickly, and she kissed me hard. Her hands frantically grasped at my hips, and she broke the kiss long enough to exclaim "Fuck me; fuck me right now, Timmy!" That name sent a thick throb into my already rock-hard cock. She grabbed at me wildly as she sprung her legs up around me. I grasped for stabilization on the vanity and pushed toward her, my lips never leaving hers. Stephanie found her dripping opening with the head of my cock, her heels dug into my back, and I pushed. She gasped hard as the head entered her, but only the head. I drew back, pulling her sweet nectar back with me. Her hand on my cock quickly spread it around, coating my shaft, and I felt her heels in my back, harder. I pushed again, and in a single stroke my entire cock was enveloped by hot butter. Stephanie and I both let out a low moan as I bottomed out inside her, but there was no time to savor the feeling; where last night had been about a slow, gentle experience, this morning was all about pure lust. Her legs and cunt wrapped tight around me, I grunted into her hot mouth and began to thrust. The vanity began to shake and knock against the wall as I drove my cock deep into Stephanie's tight body over and over. I could feel the grip of her cunt lips on each outward stroke. My balls churned. Stephanie was slick, wet, and welcoming, and I glided in and out of her with ease. Her lips left mine with a wet pop as she caught her breath. The sensation was overwhelming us both, and I felt her arms wrap tight around me. "Yes, yes, fuck me, Timmy, fuck Me!" she gasped directly into my ear. I fucked her hard and fast, completely lost in her cunt. I felt the hot spring of pleasure coil itself up inside my balls, and short cries escaped my throat as I tried to hold it at bay. Stephanie heard my cries of approaching pleasure and egged me on. "Yes, that's it, baby," she whispered into my ear between staccato breaths every time her body accepted my thrusting cock, "that's it, cum for me, Timmy; give it to me; give it to me!" I let out a low howl and pushed my stone-hard cock as deep into her as I could. My balls wrenched up tight against my body and exploded, flooding her sweet cunt with an eruption of hot semen. I buried my face into the crook of her neck as the pleasure pulsed through me. As my orgasm subsided we held each other quietly for a moment. The only sounds in the room were our ragged, gasping breaths. I peeled myself off of my step sister's best friend, pausing to look down at her body beneath me. The thin layer of sweat on her chest glimmered in the light as her breasts heaved up and down in exhaustion. Her smooth stomach sucked in and out, flaring her ribs with each deep breath. Her legs were spread wide, wrapped around my torso. Her cunt, her cunt was spread wide, wrapped around the girth of my cock. My cock was inside her. Inside Stephanie. My cock was inside Stephanie. It flared again with renewed lust. "Down, boy!" she chuckled, gently pushing me back off of her. I watched my cock slide out of her hot core, ringed with a white froth of mingled bodily fluids. A thin string of juice reached from the tip of my dick to her juicy cunt, the last bit of our connection holding on for dear life as I slipped out of her. I stumbled back and plopped down on the bed, spent cock glistening and not yet deflated. I looked at Stephanie's hot, erotically charged body, and watched my semen begin to slowly drip from her swollen lips before she began to straighten up. "Jesus, Timmy, you just might be a natural," she exhaled as she tried to get her bearings. My spent cock twitched again. "I'm gonna have to take another shower!" "You want company?" I said with a big, Cheshire grin. To say I felt cocky was underselling it. I had just rocked a woman's sexual world for the very first time. At that moment I was fucking bulletproof. "no!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "Now get out of here before that gorgeous cock of yours gets us into trouble!" She said with a flustered smile. I took in the sight. God, she was sexy. "Go!" she chuckled loudly again. I snuck out the back door, in order to come in the front door, hoping to cement my alibi of going for a run, should my step mom Kelly, or step sister Alexa catch me. As I rounded the corner and started toward the door, I heard a giggle. My eyes darted toward the sound and were greeted by a broad smile framed with fiery red hair. Sarah, my next door neighbor and long time crush, watched me as she finished stretching her hamstring on her front steps. "You're up early," she said with a grin. "I was, out for a run." I said unconvincingly. "Um Hmm," she scoffed through a smirk. Unlike me, Sarah actually had just come back from a run, judging by the spandex that hugged her blossomed curves. She stared straight through me. She knew where I had been, what I had been doing; it was written all over me. "Well, definitely a good day for it!" she lobbed at me, preserving my alibi. I nodded sheepishly and turned toward my door. "Oh, and Tim?" she called from behind me. I turned back toward her curiously. "Don't forget to stretch,” she said with a syrupy lilt. My face turned beet red. She bounced her eyebrows, bit her lip through her widening grin, twirled away from me and hopped up the stairs into her house. As I stood under the hot shower minutes later, my brain was vibrating with hormones, memories, and fantasies. Despite all the activity of the morning, my cock was rock hard again, and I stroked it furiously as I cataloged my thoughts. Thoughts of fucking Stephanie. Thoughts of fucking Sarah in her tight running gear. Thoughts of fucking them both. Thoughts of them fucking each other. My sore balls wrenched themselves up toward my cock once again. With a quiet grunt I fired out even more cum, this time against the wet walls of the shower, and for a quick moment my mind was perfectly clear. Oh, to be eighteen and horny. Sitting under the hot sun at the graduation ceremony, lost in a memory of the morning, I began to think about what all this meant for the future. I wanted Stephanie, wanted to be with her, wanted to be inside her every chance I could get, but what were we beyond that? She was leaving for college in a month, and surely she wasn't going to want the baggage of a younger boyfriend at a different school as she began the next chapter of her life right? Or for that matter, did I want to have a long distance girlfriend? I was determined to just live in the moment, but it was hard not to think about what we were, or what we could be. Just then I was snapped out of my day dreaming as the P A system echoed a name through my ears: Tara Austin. My eyes quickly found the stage as Tara, the girl I considered one of my best friends, made her way across the stage. She had modified her black graduation gown to have a fiery, red fringe along the bottom, and had lined the edges of her flat mortar hat with metal studs. The principal shook his head as she took her diploma from him, which made Tara beam. Ms. Dorman was on the stage with some of the other teachers, and Tara stopped to hug her before heading down the stairs. My mind briefly wandered to Ms. Dorman; Julia; and wondered if she and Ridley had secretly fucked before the ceremony. Or maybe they planned to afterward. She looked good today, in sensible slacks and a nice blouse. I thought back to the vision of her shirt being snapped open and her breast jiggling erotically as she was pounded by Ridley's crooked cock. Had she ever swallowed his cum? I wondered when the last time she had an orgasm was. Tara stopped at the far edge of the stage and curtsied at the crowd with a big smile, eliciting a few whoops and claps. She was radiant. We hadn't talked in a long time, not since the night we told each other the truth about our activities at the prom, and honestly I wasn't even sure why. I had hurt her, but I was probably doing more damage by running away. I was jealous, no which way about it, and I didn't know how to handle it. We had both entered into sexual relationships with extremely unlikely people that the other didn't particularly care for, and It had driven us apart. Surely we were good enough friends to get past this though, right? But then again, Tara hadn't exactly reached out to me since then, so maybe she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Soon enough it was my turn to cross the stage in graduation, and as I made my way toward Ms. Dorman I swear she started to blush. She held open her arms and I met her with a warm hug. Her breasts felt soft and nice against me. "Congratulations, Tim," she said warmly, "I'm going to miss you." "Thanks, Ms. Dorman," I replied. She pulled away from the hug and looked at me with a smirk that almost felt flirtatious. "What'd I tell you?" "Sorry; thanks, Julia," I chuckled. She smiled and squeezed my arms. "Listen Tim," she continued before we parted, "talk to her. She misses you, I can tell. Whatever it is that happened between you two it's not worth losing each other. Just put in the work." I nodded thankfully. She smiled again, pulled me in for a final hug, and then I was off. I sat back down under the sun and ran through a lot of things in my mind. Julia was right, someone needed to break the ice, it was just a matter of how and when. "Hey," I said, turning to Mike, "what's the deal, is there going to be any sort of graduation party tonight or this weekend?" "Of course!" He chuckled, "tonight at Suzie Travino's. They're saying the entire graduating class might be there, it's gonna be wild." "Why the fuck am I only hearing about this no; you know what, that's cool, I'll be there." Ugh, I was so lame and out of the loop. Regardless, if the whole class was going to be piling into Suzie's house, that means Tara would most definitely be there. So I needed to be there too. I had a lot on my mind all day, but the celebratory dinner with Alexa and Kelly helped take my mind off things. We had a great time, and had just come home for dessert when Alexa's voice boomed from the hallway "Hey, look who I found!" I looked up from my spot at the kitchen table just as she entered with Stephanie right behind her. I smiled. "I heard there was a celebration happening - you get your first pube or something?" Stephanie and Alexa laughed. My smile quickly turned to a frown; she did it again. Hours earlier I had been balls-deep in this girl's cunt, and she was still keeping up the charade in front of Alexa. I was more than happy to keep our relationship, or whatever this was, on the downlow, but I at least wanted some respect. Unfortunately for her, two could play at this game. "Oh come on, Stephanie, you know full well how many pubes I have" I responded dryly, "or did you not count them while you were sucking my dick?" Alexa choked on her drink, and the color drained from Stephanie's face. "JESUS, Tim," Alexa said between coughs, "getting a bit aggressive, aren't we?" Staring directly at Stephanie I didn't let up. "Oh, you didn't know? It's true. In fact just just this morning Stephanie and I had hot, heavy sex on the edge of her vanity." There was a long, thick silence. I watched Stephanie start to turn beet red, not sure how to respond. Alexa looked at her in disbelief. I smirked, our roles finally reversed. Then in a loud guffaw, Alexa burst out laughing. "Hahaha oh my god, Timmy, that is hilarious!" The smirk quickly faded from my face. "Never in a million fucking years!" She continued to laugh in disbelief. I looked at Stephanie, who nervously chuckled along with her. "What's so funny?" Kelly said as she entered with a small cake in hand. "Oh nothing, Tim's just being gross," Alexa handwaved. Kelly set the cake down and began to cut. My eyes were burning a hole through Alexa. "Hey Kelly, how's Brian?" I said just as Alexa took another drink, causing her to choke again. "He's good, honey, he's been out of town on business, but he'll be back soon." Kelly said with a smile. "That's great, we should all do something together when he gets back," I continued, my smirk returning, "I don't think Alexa has really gotten a chance to know him yet." Now it was Alexa's turn to go pale. "That sounds like a great idea, Tim!" Kelly said. I felt a little bad, because I could tell Kelly was happy that I was expressing interest in meeting her new boyfriend, a man who would potentially occupy the same role as my deceased father, and in reality I was just trying to stick it to Alexa. There would be plenty of time for me to get over that though, and right now I had cake to eat. It tasted great. Later, as I was getting ready for the party at Suzie's, my phone buzzed. It was Stephanie. "So what was that about?" it read "I should ask you the same question!" I replied. There was a long pause. No bubbles, nothing. I got ready to shower, and right as I wrapped my towel around myself my phone buzzed again. "Pick me up from work tomorrow night; I have a graduation present for you." I was annoyed at her, but couldn't stop my cock from flexing in arousal underneath my towel. Fuck, what was this girl doing to me? "Ok," I texted back, and then threw my phone across the bed. I stopped to pick up Mike on the way to Suzie's. He and Kerri were apparently having some sort of spat, and he poured it all out onto me on the drive. I couldn't tell you what it was about though, because my mind was full of its own hormone-crazed problems, and I just "yeah" and "uh huh"-ed him the whole way there. We could hear the thumping bass even before I turned the car through the tall gate of the Travino estate. Suzie's house, a gaudy McMansion paid for by her father's lucrative law firm, sat at the head of a snake-like driveway. Cars were strewn all about the sides of the long drive, and after finding a decent spot, Mike and I made the rest of our way on foot. Passing by two classmates passed out at the foot of a large fountain, we made our way into the throng of young adults ready to take on the world. Or at least the world's largest beer bong. I think Mike might have been right; it seemed like the entire class was there. Possibly the entire school. We found our way over to one of several kegs, got some drinks, and tried to mingle and talk over the din of music and voices. Only half listening, I scanned the ocean of bodies looking for Tara, but had no luck. Suddenly I felt Mike's hand grip me hard on the shoulder. His eyes were wide and livid. Turning to where the dagger of his gaze fell, I saw Chet Phillips, the captain of the football team, chatting up a hot, busty number near the kitchen island. A hot, busty number with a big mane of curly, black hair. Oh my God, it was Kerri. Kerri had all the curves befitting her Greek heritage, she wore a shimmering, backless blouse that showed a lot of chest, putting all her genetic gifts on display. With no room for a bra, her tits hung free under the fabric, jiggling erotically every time she moved or laughed. Funny, I don't think I ever really noticed her tits before. Damn, they were nice. A black, pleated skirt hung over the swell of her generous ass, and her thick, soccer player's legs descended down into high heeled ankle boots. She was dressed to impress, and Chet was getting the full court press. Touching his arm while laughing, leaning over to "accidentally" flash her full cleavage at him, cocking her hips just so; Kerri was out to prove a point, and it was safe to say it was a point not lost on Mike. He was fuming. After swearing a bit under his breath, he muttered something about having to "go do something," downed his 3/4-full beer, and began wading his way over to the kitchen. I laughed and took a sip of my own drink. Damn, she had nice tits. Making my way into the living room I continued my search; no Tara. I saw some recognizable cliques keeping to themselves, AV club over by the window, drama kids over by the bookcase. My mind drifted to thoughts of some of those drama girls. We all had heard the rumors about drama club just being a constant fuck fest, and frankly I regretted never joining. I'd love to have had the chance to eat out star actress Alyssa Mitchell, or feel up mousey Chrissy Thomas; Chrissy was one of those magical girls who was tall, stick thin, but had huge breasts. Not even her black turtleneck could hide them tonight. I wanted to suck them. I wanted to put my dick between them. I wondered if she had ever wrapped those beauties around a hard cock, if they'd ever been showered with jizz. My lewd day dream was cut short, however, as I spotted the math team. Sitting among the glasses and bad haircuts was a bright, beaming smile and a blaze of red hair; it was Sarah. God she looked good. Still playing it conservative for the general public, a nice sweater vest sat atop a buttoned down blouse, expertly hiding the exceptional breasts she had herself. Sensible jeans encased her toned, runner's legs, slip on flats on her feet. She wore no makeup, and frankly didn't need any. No one knew what kind of body she hid under her clothes. No one but me and Tara. Her smile seemed to be lighting up the whole room, and as she tossed her cascading red locks over to the other side of her head, her eyes clicked over and locked on to mine. She turned that beam of a smile over to me, and raised her glass at me. I returned the gesture, and with a sip and a wink, she went back to her conversation. That wink. God, that wink alone got me hard. I decided to keep moving, and continue my search. Following the thump of the music, I moved out onto the patio, where flashing lights and bouncing bodies bumped and gyrated to the rhythms. I peered through the pulsating mass, and was stopped dead by the flails and swivels of a luscious figure ringed with a bright aura of red and green party lights. Mesmerizing hips drew me in as the red plaid of her skirt spun outward with every twirl, jingling the rings and chains that hung from her black leather belt. Black stockings ran from mid thigh down into the tops of white, Doc Martens. Bracelets bounced and shimmered on her arms as she drew her hands over her body, over the black tank top that covered her stomach and sank low at the neck, displaying the cleavage of two, perfect breasts. Cleavage that almost seemed to try and devour the bangles at the end of the long necklaces she wore as they bounced around her globes. Black, spiky hair reached toward the sky off her bobbing, lolling head. Dark eye liner accented her lashes. And her lipstick, her lipstick matched the color of my tie. It was Tara. She looked amazing. Lost in the sounds and vibrations of the music, the lights caught the gentle spritzing of sweat that shone on the flat of her chest. She danced with no one, she danced with everyone. She just absolutely exuded sex. I couldn't help but stare. Snapping me back to earth was a tug at my side, followed by a loud bellow of "Hey, Tim Miller!" Turning sharply, I was greeted by the quirky smile and thick, black glasses of class valedictorian, and host of this blow out party, Suzie Travino. Suzie was half Italian, half Japanese, and all cute. Definitely an egghead, but not in a traditional nerd sort of way, Suzie was the jackpot mix of smart, popular, good looking, and rich. Skinny, with small, perky breasts, Suzie wasn't really my type. Not that I ever had the chance, and not that I ever would have thrown her out of bed if I did, but she just wasn't my type. That being said, her small ass looked phenomenal in her tight jeans, and she cocked her hips out to the side as she continued. "Great to see you!" she said, punching me in the shoulder, "I feel like I never see you at parties!" She had a glaze to her eyes that told me she was already pretty buzzed. "Yeah, I'm a bit of a homebody," I chuckled, darting my eyes past her trying to find Tara again in the dancing crowd. No luck. "Well I'm glad you made it, dude!" She laughed and took another swig of her drink. "Listen, Suzie, I have to; " I began, when suddenly there was a big commotion of cheers and whoops coming from across the patio. Both of us turning toward the rabble, we saw the recipients of all the accolades: it was Bud Pepper and fellow classmate Mark Prepon. Both beaming ear to ear with embarrassed smiles, each holding the other's hand. They chuckled, they hugged, and then in front of practically the entire graduating class, Bud and Mark kissed. The whoops and hollers got even louder. "Wow, good for them!" Suzie squealed, clapping along, "they're so cute together!" "Yeah, totally," I responded, but my attention was elsewhere. Looking back toward the dance floor I desperately searched for Tara. Bud was the guy she lost her virginity to at the prom, and he was her, well honestly I wasn't sure what he was to her at this point, since we hadn't been talking lately, but he was more than a friend, that's for sure. My eyes scanning the crowd, finally I caught her. She watched the new couple for a moment, a bittersweet smile forming on the edge of her lips, and then she quietly made her way away from the crowd, away from the bright colored lights, and into the shadows back toward the house. I had no idea what she was feeling right now. I thought back to our conversation the last time we talked, and her dismay at being viewed as nothing more than a sex object, and here, now, was her, whatever Bud was, celebrating a relationship with someone who wasn't her. She was alone again, and that hurt me inside. Suzie's attention was still held by the new lovebirds, so I quietly slipped away after Tara. I followed behind her and watched her slip upstairs and into one of the rooms. Quietly padding after her I stood outside the room and paused. I was nervous, but I wasn't sure why. Tara was one of my closest friends, we had shared so much, and I wanted now to be there for her if she needed me. That was all I wanted, to be there for her. As her friend. At least that's what I told myself. I slowly opened the door and entered. The room was dimly lit by a single bedside lamp. Tara sat on the edge of a large bed, one leg tucked under, typing away at her phone. She didn't even notice I had come in. "Hi," I finally said. Her head popped up from her phone, startled, her big, doe eyes wide with surprise. Relaxing as she recognized me, she plopped her phone on the night table. "Hey," she finally responded. It wasn't cold, it wasn't angry, it was just, her. "I saw what happened down there, with Bud,” I began timidly, moving closer, but stopping at the tall bedpost at the corner of the bed. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know you guys were,” I honestly don't know if I could have finished that sentence even if I knew what term to use. A warm smile pulled at her lips. "Nah, I'm fine; I'm happy for them." She chuckled a bit to herself. "In fact, I'm the one who set them up!" "What?" I laughed loudly. I plopped myself down on the bed across from her. It was instinct. Just like old times. "Yeah, Bud and I, we, never really clicked." Her eyes drifted for a moment. "We tried, but it became pretty clear pretty quickly that we were, interested in different things." "What about the prom?" I said with a slight crack in my voice. "That was, just something we both needed, I think," she said wistfully. "We learned a lot from each other though," she continued, "I think we both learned how to be comfortable with who we are a bit more. He figured out who he was, what he wanted, and I knew Mark had a crush on him, so I had no problem playing matchmaker." "Sounds like all that applause is really for you, then!" I said lightly. She chuckled and blushed a bit. "I was happy to do it. It makes me happy when the people I care for are happy." she said. I smiled in response. "Plus it greatly increases your chances of a guy-guy-girl threeway!" I blurted out. A comment like that would have been par for the course a couple months ago, but now I wasn't sure how it would land. Luckily she burst out laughing and the tension between us began to drift away. "You know me too well, Miller," she said through a warm smile. "What about you, Tim," she continued, looking right at me now, "have you figured out what you want yet?" I just took in the room for a moment. It was quiet. The thump of the downstairs music was audible but faint. The slatted door of a closet across from us stood slightly ajar. The warm, low light cast deep shadows across Tara's body. "Yes," I finally let out, practically whispering, "I want us to be friends again. I miss you so friggin' much, Tara, I miss talking to you, I miss laughing with you, there's so much going on right now that I barely know how to process because I don't have you to talk to about it. Like,” I didn't know where to start, “ like Ms. Dorman!" I exclaimed, "I caught Ms. Dorman getting fucked by Mr. Ridley the other day!" "I'm sorry, What?" She said, her big doe eyes going wide again with surprise. "Yes! He had her bent right over her desk, and was railing her from behind, and it was awkward, and it was hot, and it was confusing, and I so desperately wanted to talk to you about it." My franticness calmed down and sincerity returned. "I am so sorry I ever made you feel bad for a single second. You're my best friend, and I want you in my life, Tara. I just hope, that maybe you want me in yours too." There was a long pause that bound my insides into tight, cramped knots. She breathed in deep, and let out a controlled breath before saying "I do, Miller, I miss you too." Breath escaped my body desperately, and I somehow managed to begin breathing again. "That is so good, to hear, Tara," I wheezed. She leaned in and gave me a big, tight hug. We were going to be ok. Tara and I were friends again, and that's all either of us wanted. "There's so much I want to tell you, seriously." We broke our warm hug, and Tara leaned back again, a look of slight trepidation on her face now. "Well," she began, fiddling with the hem of her plaid skirt, "in the interest of full transparency I should tell you," she paused. " I'm kinda seeing someone." "That's awesome!" I blurted out joyously. I may have over done it though, as my positive reaction was masking a cold dropping of my stomach. I wasn't sure why that pang of jealousy came back, I was legitimately happy for her, but there it was. "How big is his cock?" I joked. Like I said - overdoing it. "Well the thing is," she began, but was cut off by the creek of the bedroom door opening. "Shit!" she said in a loud, panicked whisper. Frantically she grabbed on to me, and seeing no other recourse, reached for the closet door, shoved me inside, and quickly jumped back onto the bed. Still trying to wrap my head around what was happening, I watched through the slats of the closet door as Tara breathlessly tried to appear calm and relaxed. I felt a stir in my pants as my more voyeuristic tendencies began to trigger. I couldn't yet see who entered the room, but I watched Tara's perfect breasts rise and fall beneath her tank top as her eyes met this mystery entrant. It had to be the guy she was dating. Why else would she be so flustered to have the two of us in the same room? Suddenly a voice pierced the silence. "Hey, I got your text." My breath stopped short in my chest. I knew the voice right away, but I couldn't believe it. I strained my eyes around the corner of the closest door, desperate to prove my ears wrong, but it was no use. Then I heard the swish of walking legs and all at once my eyes confirmed the sound. Looking through the slats of the closet, the curvy, jean-clad ass of a woman entered my eye line. Slowly my eyes traveled upward, not wanting to believe what I was seeing, but reality became undeniable as they locked on her hair. That lovely wave of fiery, red hair. Sarah, my next door neighbor and longest crush, the girl Tara and I witnessed get thoroughly dicked down while we jerked off together, climbed onto the bed, leaned in, and kissed Tara passionately. Tara melted. Kissing her way down Tara's neck, Sarah's hand drifted down over one of Tara's perfect breasts and squeezed. Tara moaned, and her legs pulled up and wrapped around Sarah's body. The movement bunched her skirt up around her waist, and from my vantage point I could see the cheek of her ass peeking out from her black panties. Sarah continued her travels down Tara's writhing body, briefly kissing and squeezing all the landmarks, but with a destination firmly evident. Her lips traipsed over the bunch of Tara's skirt, and she wrapped one arm around an exposed thigh as she pushed her face between my best friend's legs. Tara gasped. Kisses peppered her panty-clad cunt as her breasts heaved up and down in overwhelming sensation. Then Sarah suddenly stopped, planting a couple kisses on Tara's thigh as she pulled away. Looping her fingers through the band of Tara's panties, Sarah stood up, and pulled. Tara smiled, lifting her ass as Sarah slid the panties down her legs, off and over her boots. Any concern for me being in the room was gone now, and Tara was overcome with lust. Her hands ran over her own thighs as they butterflied open, giving me a full view of my best friend's sopping wet cunt. I had seen her perfect tits, I had seen her body shudder and shake with orgasm, but I had never seen her cunt. Now here it was on full display. Her lips were swollen and wide with desire, glistening with moisture in the low lamp light, and there wasn't a strand of hair anywhere; she was fully, smoothly shaven. I wasn't sure when the last time I had taken a breath was. I was overcome with a million conflicting emotions. I felt betrayed that Tara was in a relationship with the girl she knew I had lusted after for years. I also knew I had no right to feel that way. I was jealous of both of them. I was guilty that I was watching this so clandestinely. On top of this all, however, I was hard as a fucking rock. Reaching down and grasping the hem of her sweater vest, Sarah shimmied her hips as she pulled it up and over her head. She then made a show of it as she started unbuttoning her blouse. Tara smiled and drifted her hand down between her legs. She dipped her finger into her wet cunt, and began slowly rubbing herself as she watched Sarah undress. I couldn't see the reveal of Sarah's ample breasts and tight stomach, but as her blouse fell away, I found the smooth swoop of her back to be intoxicating. Then, with a shimmy of her hips, she turned her back to Tara and I was greeted with a full view of her stomach and bra-encased tits. Those tits. Oh, my God. Large and pale, they sat high in a lacy bra thin enough to see her hard nipples through. Sarah undid her belt, and with a sexy cock of her hips began to peel her tight jeans down her legs. I got a good deep look at her full cleavage as she bent over, and my cock throbbed. Straightening back up, she looked back over her shoulder at Tara, smiled, and reached up and unsnapped her bra. Tara stood up off the bed and embraced Sarah from behind, wrapping her arms around the redhead's scantily clad body. Tara ran her hands all over Sarah, kissing and licking at her neck and collarbone as she explored. Sarah sighed, and gyrated her ass tight against Tara's crotch. Both breathing heavy now, Tara slid her hands up to the cups of Sarah's bra, and in full view of my voyeuristic eyes, almost like she was doing it for my benefit, my best friend pulled the fabric away and set Sarah's large, beautiful tits free. My hand went to my cock and squeezed. Tara pushed Sarah's tits together, eliciting a deep moan from the redhead. Sliding under them, Tara lifted those hefty breasts, almost presenting them, and then pinched their hard, pink nipples between her fingers. Sarah gasped. My hand slowly lowered the zipper on my pants. This was so wrong, but I couldn't resist. Tara's hand slithered down Sarah's body, over her stomach, stopping briefly at the band of her panties before silently slipping inside. Sarah's hips began to gyrate as Tara bathed her fingers in the hot wetness I had literally dreamed about. My cock was practically screaming. Reaching in, I pulled it out through the fly of my pants. I could practically feel its throbbing heat without even touching it. Sarah turned around, grasped at Tara's shirt, and quickly pulled it up and over her head. Having no patience for the clasp of a bra, Sarah yanked Tara's bra down off her perfect tits, expressing a startled gasp from my best friend. Her hands gripped each globe, and she attacked them each with her mouth. Sucking, kissing, licking, Tara's tits soon glimmered with Sarah's wet saliva. Every time Sarah's lips latched on to a nipple, a short sexy moan escaped Tara's lips. Holding on for dear life at the erotic assault, Tara's breath heaved, and her hands gripped and kneaded at Sarah's full ass, desperately working the girl's panties off inch by inch. Stumbling forward, Sarah pushed Tara back down onto the edge of the bed; Tara's tits bounced playfully as her ass hit the mattress. Sarah bent over, sliding her panties all the way down her pale legs, giving me a full view of her ass, her cunt lips squeezed between her thighs. Tara just smiled, and used the moment to remove her boots and climb fully onto the bed. I think I began to drool. Or at least my cock did. It stuck out firm and hard from my zipper and I was losing my self control. I wanted to be mad, I wanted to be angry, but more than that, fuck, I wanted to cum. Tara's legs butterflied open and closed again in anticipation; clearly an excited tick she had that I never knew about. It was adorable. It was sexy as hell. Her hand drifted back to her own throbbing, wet lips. Those glistening, aroused lips, I think I wanted to taste them. My finger idly traced along the length of my iron cock. A small, static shock of pleasure surged through me. Tara took in the view of the redheaded goddess before her and smiled just as Sarah took a step forward, grasped Tara's thighs, and slowly lowered to her knees on the floor. Tara repositioned herself, shimmied forward slightly, and let out a long, wet moan as my biggest crush's tongue began dancing all over my best friend's clit. It was all I could take. My hand gripped my firm cock and began to stroke. My eyes strained through the slats of the closet desperate to take in every bit of the erotic sight before me. Tara gasped and moaned, writhed and shook, as Sarah lapped and sucked. Her tits rose and fell, nipples reaching for the sky as her breath heaved in her chest. They jiggled delightfully every time she shifted to regain stability, or after an unexpected shock of sensation. There was no stopping me now, I was in a trance, stroking my cock deliberately while transfixed by this sapphic exhibition. Tara hoisted herself up onto her hands so she could watch Sarah's tongue perform its magic. They locked eyes and Tara ran her hand lovingly through Sarah's ginger locks. Sarah's hand drifted down over one thick thigh to meet her tongue at Tara's dripping center. Stopping momentarily to catch her breath and lube up her fingers, Sarah's lips latched back on to Tara's clit and in one smooth motion she pushed two fingers deep into Tara's cunt. With a loud moan, Tara lost her stabilization and dropped back onto the mattress, her lovely tits bouncing wildly. Her breath was ragged and fast as Sarah slid fingers in and out of her wet cunt in time with the tongue playing pinball on her clit. Regaining her stabilization, at least on one elbow, she ran her hand back to Sarah's hair, but this wasn't a loving caress, this was a wanton grasp, a fist full of hair to hold on for dear life as Tara rocketed toward ultimate release. I stroked hard and fast as I watched my best friend's face crinkle and grimace, eyes squeezed shut, mouth dropping open in a pleasurable "O." Her moans came faster and shorter, tits jiggling with every breath, a slight, wet slurping no

Ooooh, hello there baby boy and baby girl! You big big cute and sexy podcast listener, baby. Today's such a good show, little baby. Here we go, baby! What's your sick day excuse? An AI excuse generator has been made by Uber to help you get the Friday off and enjoy a long weekend. Sarah calls up and shares what excuses one of her employees makes WEEKLY. Imagine being on the pisssss 24/7. This guy has a rare condition that means his body keeps producing alcohol! Now, baby, guess what, you big big smarty pant. There's a relationship habit that most people hate that doctors are saying is actually good for your dating life. Oooooh, you're gonna enjoy this one, big boy! We spin the Wednesday wheel and play a game of Emoji Game. Now, strap yourself in, you good thing, baby girl! Listen live on the Nova Player.Follow us on Facebook, Instagram & TikTok.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Introduction (Shawn) - almost halfway through the season of adventure!Topic: Event Reviews (Brian and Shawn)-Salisbury Scramble-TTC work-reversed start/finish-live results-event recap on YouTube-Danville Dash - brand new-Adventure course-race course - positive reviews-KOM/QOM segment-event recap comingTopic: Mayhem at Mayodan Preview (Brian and Shawn) -Theme: Out of This World-Saturday-Trail work opportunity: (3) sessions PZ registration required -course inspection - group riding reminder-Staff Pie Smash - fundraiser reminder (ends 28 May)-Sunday-course preview is available on YouTube channel-warm up “area” - in the field-Dates: 12 April (category petitions), 14 April registration deadline, 17 Apr Town HallTopic: Rules (Shawn and Brian)-Handbook reminder: we all agree to abide by the rules when we sign up and in essence serve as a NICA ambassador - wherever we are-Two recent issues: course crossing and ear buds. This is all safety based - situational awareness.-Swiss Cheese model of human error-we need your help: dogsTopic: 5 String Stampede (Fletcher) 4-5 May  Preview (Brian and Shawn)-Theme: Wild West-Context and background story: western venue - yay! Western venue - challenges!-Course preview released this weekend-Senior night and celebrationTopic: Upcoming (Shawn and Brian)Season Showdown (Mayodan) 18-19 MayQualifying: top 30 in each category OR top 20 placement in at least 2 racesStill working schedule and guidance for non-racers Whitewater Windup (Whitewater Center) 1-2 JuneVenue survey this Saturday 13 April to finalize planBasic format: riding/games on Saturday (orienteering), some activity Sunday morning, season awards and fundraiser prizes early afternoon to let folks get on the roadClosing (All)Dad joke

Ariana and Sandoval are both petty a**holes, Lala and Scheana can't help but comment on their situations (as if they are ones to judge) and Schwartz is a slime ball who loves to trash Katie any point he can. Ooooh the trash is juicy in the Bravo Dumpster, Raccoons! Come and get it! Get a bunch of uncensored cringey content by joining our Patreon! https://patreon.com/realitytvcringeFollow us on IG https://instagram.com/realitytvcringeSubscribe to see our raccoon faces on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_2CgqXLWjIEKV9PCtH3Kjw?sub_confirmation=1Leave a message for us on SpeakPipe: https://speakpipe.com/realitytvcringeSupport the pod by leaving a 5-star review on your favorite podcast platform! Thank you so much!

When you feel confident, you emit a positive energy that people are naturally drawn to. Feeling confident in yourself is NOT about having the perfect body or putting your life on hold until after you get around to losing that 10kg. Our guest today firmly believes you don't have to have the perfect body to have STYLE. Ohh YESSS! This episode is for every one of us who has had a “moment” standing in front of our wardrobes wondering what on earth we are going to wear. Our guest is the fabulous Jane Mow, a Personal Brand Stylist and Style Coach for women. Jane's ethos is what you wear is your business card. When you dress in a way that aligns with your personal style, you feel confident and self assured, which shines through in the way you show up in the world. Our bodies change across the different seasons of our life but this doesn't mean our personal style has to change. Short. Curvy. Tall. Wide. Narrow. Broad Shoulders. Stubborn tummy. Mummy-weight. Menopause. Jane's belief is that everyone has the potential to be stylish. So if you're done hiding under the baggy clothes, you can't miss this episode! Jane's years of experience helps women take the stress out of getting dressed each day by helping you create a wardrobe filled only with pieces aligned with your unique Personal Style and Lifestyle. The result? There's none of this, “ugh, what should I wear?” every time you get dressed. Instead, it sounds like “OOOoh, which items should I wear today?” Who's ready to feel fabulous??!!

Ooooh, this is a juicy one!  As we continue our HABIT LOOP BOOTCAMP series, I thought today we would cover bad habit loops!  When I work with my clients and take them through my atomic habit hacking system for women, many times the subject comes up as far as how to break bad habits.  This can be done with habit strategy and isn't very complicated!  Today I'm sharing some bad habit loops (or unhealthy or not serving you habits) and how to create healthier ones instead!  **I also just added a bonus module in our signature program the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR POD COURSE all about bad habit loops!Are you joining us for HABIT LOOP BOOTCAMP? Take the free challenge and create your own habit loops!***HABIT HACKS:-Access the signature program, the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR POD COURSE!-1:1 coaching more your jam?  Schedule a FREE DISCOVERY CALL to find out more!-CHECK OUT THE FREEBIE VAULT!: Access habit tools, self care checklist, ingredient meal tips, free workouts and more! SEND EMILY A HABIT HACKING QUESTION TO ANSWER ON THE SHOW!LET'S CONNECT:Connect with Emily:@emilynichols22@habithackyourhealthwww.emily-nichols.com JOIN US FOR HABIT LOOP BOOTCAMP LIVE!

Say it with us now: "Ooooh, that's gooood!" We're back for a new season exploring the creation story (Genesis 1) and talking about: What's the name of the celebration from when the people were saved in Esther? from Maggie, age 7 Why does God give us a lot of chances? from Jessica, age 12 Why can't God make animals talk instead of us? also from Jessica Kids! If you have a question or thought, record it and email it to askawaypodcast@gmail.com or leave us a Voxer message at AskAwayPodcast. Be sure to talk loudly and tell us your first name and age. Want us to give you a shout out or happy birthday? Use that email! Grown ups! Get more on this story by joining the Great Big Bible Story Walkthrough. And if you haven't year, grab a copy of Meredith's book ⁠Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From.

As cold as it, is things start heating up for the party. Not only can you listen to the arcane dice podcast from wherever you enjoy your podcasts you can also watch our episodes on YouTube!! https://www.youtube.com/@arcanedicepodcast5065/featured  

Fun with sexy single mum makes me envy of other dads.by BritPop - Listen to the podcast at Steamy StoriesI was dutifully dropping off at the school gate and I was all ready to make my home. I was in no rush. I had recently split with my wife. She kept the house and belongings along with a new fella. I had rented myself a tiny flat, all I could afford. I wasn't pleased with the situation but I had brought it on myself by having a fling with a colleague. A one night stand that had turned into one night too many and we had been spotted. Her husband had forgiven her indiscretions; my wife had not. Ah well. Back to the tiny, lonely house as I had a few days off work. I had no plans and no money to spend, even if I did have anything planned.“Hi. How are you doing?” I turned around and was surprised to see one of the other mums, Candy. When their wives weren't listening, most dads had nicknamed her “Eye Candy”. However, when their wives WERE around, most dads kept their eyes averted from this particular mum if they didn't want to pay the price later with an ear bashing about ogling. My own wife would be particularly vocal if she saw me so much as look at Candy's fabulous, single mum body. Many a time I had done one double take too many at one of Candy's particularly flattering and body-revealing outfits and I had had hours of ear ache about “eyeing up that slut.”In fact my initial thought when she spoke to me was panic before I suddenly realised I was free to let my eyes roam wherever I liked. And my eyes did like roaming over the white boob tube and very mini mini skirt very much indeed. She was standing very close and I have never been so pleased to be a tall man. I got an excellent view down the boob tube at a superb pair. I am unashamedly a tit man and Candy's jugs looked to be top of the class. I relaxed and allowed myself to be flattered that she had chosen to speak to me.“I was so sorry to hear you had split with your wife. You must be devastated.”“Oh…erm…” I quickly tried to drag my thoughts away from those tan titties and what I would like to do with them. “Oh yeah…well, you know…it's been really tough… but we're trying to…” Man, that was a short skirt. What delights would I find if I just lifted that hem a couple of inches? “Yeah, we're..um…trying to keep everything as civilised as we can…”“That is such a mature attitude. I really admire you.” She moved even closer and touched my arm. I could smell her perfume. I could even smell her shampoo. Better than her smell was the fact that the movement of her arm towards me caused those boobs to jostle and jiggle slightly. My mouth was watering. I wasn't feeling mature - I was feeling like an 18 year old kid getting hard seeing all the top heavy girls in their bikinis at the local pool.I cleared my throat to make sure my voice came out normally and didn't give away how I was feeling. “Thank you. It helps to talk to someone. I don't suppose I can give you a lift home?”“If you're sure it would be no trouble?” she replied. None whatsoever, I thought to myself. It had been a long time since I had enjoyed female company and I was enjoying hers way more than usual. I also enjoyed the other dads giving me covert looks of jealousy as I escorted her to my car. The ones with their wives just gave me quick “Lucky bastard!” glances while the dads on their own unashamedly stared, wondering how in the hell I had managed to get myself into a situation where Eye Candy was getting into my car.I have never felt so glad to have been in the jeep.“Watch your step up there,” I said.“Ooooh, I need to get my balance!”In order to do this, she parted her legs in her high heeled sandals, reached over and “steadied” herself by holding on to the other side of the passenger seat. It was an unusual method but, I have to tell you, it worked for me. It meant that she was a foot up in the air, bending over in a mini skirt and high heels with her legs apart. I could see her red lace panties, her very shapely arse cheeks and the bulge of her pussy lips, peeping between her legs. And she took quite a while to steady herself, wriggling her round arse to do it. Finally, and to my immense disappointment, she climbed into the passenger seat and I closed the door.I walked slowly round to the driver's seat, trying to get the contents of my trousers under control. I knew my bulge was visible but no red-blooded male could have seen that sight and kept his dick under control. Those panties were a red rag to my bull.As we drove to her place, we both discussed how lonely it could be not having a partner in your life.“There are so many things I miss,” she told me, opening and closing her shapely legs just a little.I was sure I wasn't misreading the messages. Candy was coming on to me and believe me, I wasn't going to be playing hard to get. When we got to her house, I made sure I was a gentleman and raced round to open the door for her. This time, her legs parted considerably as she swung them round to get out and I stood well back to give her room. Also of course to make sure I could see right up that skirt. Mmmmmm, that bulge in those panties suggested lovely swollen pussy lips If I wasn't mistaken, I detected a wet patch too. God, I hoped I was going to get a chance to find out.She invited me in for a drink and I said I thought I should be OK for time… Her house was great, with a pool. I was so glad I hadn't taken her to mine. She fixed me a cold drink and we sat next to each other on the sofa and talked some more about how lonely our lives were. She leant forwards a few times to touch me on the arm - and also give me a great view of those stupendous knockers.Finally she went to wash up the glasses. I decided it was time to make a move and if I got my face slapped, I would chalk it up to experience. I moved close behind her as she had her hands in the soapy water. I murmured in her ear that maybe we could help each other with our loneliness. She pushed back her mini skirt coated arse and rubbed it in a circular motion against the bulge in my trousers. I needed no further encouragement. I slipped my hands under the boob tube and slowly lifted it over those titties. The elastic caught slightly on her nipples making her jugs bounce gently up and down. As I have said, I have been a tit man all my life but they were the best pair I had ever seen and all natural.I dipped my hands in the foamy water then began a slow, slippery massage of them. When I thumbed her nipples, her knees nearly buckled and she held onto the sink for support. I continued to indulge myself for a while, lathering more suds onto those beauties and letting my hands slide all over them, then lifting them up, feeling their formidable weight and then letting them drop, soap suds spraying into the air. Finally I turned her round and suckled each tittie slowly (pleasantly lemon-flavoured from the dish washing liquid), bringing each teat up to its full potential then licking and flicking it with my tongue. She had her arms round my shoulders and was moaning and groaning in my ear, telling me how wet I was making her and I don't think she meant the soap suds.Her hands slid down to my body and unbuckled my belt. She slipped her small, slender hand inside my pants then led me by my stiff cock back to the living room and sat me on the couch. She straddled me, staying up on her knees and slowly fed me one of her titties while she began to massage my man meat. It felt unbelievably good after so many weeks and I groaned through my mouthful of tit for her to keep doing it just like that. I was a little worried I was going to disgrace myself and come as quickly as an 18 year old, especially when she spat on her hand and continued her slippery, slow pumping.I let my hand wander up and down each inner thigh, stopping before I got to her red lace clad honey pot. She was begging me not to tease her. Little did she know I was trying to get myself back under control before exploring that cunt that had got my trouser snake moving after one glimpse in the jeep. Finally, I pulled aside the sodden crotch and was pleasantly surprised to find a good old-fashioned hairy snatch. Don't get me wrong, I like clean shaven as much as the next man but I do like a real woman with real woman pussy hair. I also like the look of ropes of my ball batter all over it. Her pink gash contrasted nicely with the dark hair and I gently parted that beautiful snatch with two fingers. Again I was starting to breathe more heavily and thought I was going to have to start saying the alphabet backwards in my head to prevent myself erupting on that small, expert hand that was running up and down my purple pole.“You like my pretty pussy? Are you looking forward to putting this great big cock in it? It's sooooooo big. I don't know if I'm going to be able to take it all.”I must admit I am well endowed which is, in theory, a good thing but the ex had struggled to accommodate my impressive girth unless she was drunk and I had managed to get her to watch some porn. As a result, sex had been less than satisfying. Despite Candy's protestations, I had a feeling her cunt would be able to cope and I was certainly looking forward to finding out. I slipped first one then two fingers into her slippery slit and closed my eyes as I felt hot, wet pussy flesh clamp my fingers. She even gave them a squeeze which promised great things to come. I guess I had worried that a single mum who looked like her might have a slack love tunnel but she felt fantastically tight. I added another finger and she moaned and squeezed again.“Does that feel good, baby? You like my big fingers in your tight twat?”“I love them. I'd love your big cock even more.”I pulled my fingers out with a pop and held them to her lips. She sucked each finger long and slow, gazing into my eyes.“Tastes good though I say it myself. You want to try the buffet?”We instinctively moved into the 69 position. She made sure she was in a comfortable position to enjoy my rigid trouser snake then slowly lowered that hairy gash to my hungry mouth. I held her lips open with difficulty as she was unbelievably slippery then I feasted on her sweet-tasting love hole. Meanwhile she sucked and licked me like her favourite lollipop. She swirled around the head, smacking her lips at the taste of my pre-cum, then licked slowly up and down the shaft. A good suck on each ball sack and then she got into her rhythm, sucking alternately soft and hard while moving those little slender hands around the shaft. I had never had a blow job like it.It was almost impossible to concentrate on snacking on her cunt but I tongue fucked it rhythmically and teased her swollen, sensitive clitty causing her to moan around her mouthful of sausage meat. Flatteringly quickly, I felt her body stiffen and she whimpered for me not to stop before crying out loudly that she was coming.She then asked me to fuck her and I never refuse a lady a polite request or even a filthy one. She bent over the arm of the chair, her gorgeous great jugs hanging down in perfect bouncing position. I pointed my rock hard cock at the lovely pink slash in its bed of dark hair and began to ease it in. It took a little time to get my big bell end and swollen girth into that love channel but once that warm wet twat had stretched to accommodate, I was balls deep. The ex had never been able to achieve this and I fleetingly wondered if she would appreciate a photo but I decided to abandon that idea and fuck Candy in earnest instead.I pumped in and out of that luscious, pulpy, dripping wet snatch, grunting my appreciation with every thrust. Candy meanwhile was imploring me to fuck that little cunt as hard as I could, really pound her pussy. She told me she wanted to be walking funny for a week by the time I had finished with her. I used some of the copious juices freely flowing from her well plundered fuck hole to moisten her bum hole and I slipped my thumb inside. This caused her to whimper and squirm even more. I only wished I could use my fuck stick in that lovely quivering arse but I could tell it would take a long time to prepare that hole for such an onslaught. (Maybe a task for another day?)I sat on the sofa and she lowered her swollen flaps back onto my purple flagpole, She bounced up and down, her tits flying in all directions. I was seriously worried she might give herself a black eye. She came again, shrieking the house down. I hoped a guy lived next door who was hearing every shriek and envying me. I was amazed I had held out for so long but all good things must come to an end. I pounded as hard as I could from below while holding on to those jumping jugs. That was it. I groaned to her that I was coming and asked where she wanted it. I was surprised when she asked for a creampie. I gushed the majority of my well-filled balls into her cunt but couldn't resist saving one last hosepipe spray for the thatch around her pussy. It looked fantastic, contrasting with the dark hair and the bright pink, well-used gash.I will definitely be offering Candy a lift home next time its my turn to do the school run. You know what, I might offer to do it more often. That will surprise the ex.by BritPop, for Literotica

On today's minisode, I'm sharing my thoughts and feelings around some emails I've received from married women with children. I did wonder whether I should even record this episode, but after alot of thought I decided that it was both important and interesting on many levels. So...let me know your feedback! Support the show Book a FREE 30 minute coaching 'taster' session HERE: https://calendly.com/lucymeggeson/30minute Fancy getting your hands on my FREE PDF 'The Top 10 Most Irritating Questions That Single People Get Asked On The Regular...& How To (Devilishly) Respond'? Head over to: www.lucymeggeson.com Interested in my 1-1 Coaching? Work with me HERE: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/workwithme Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share Follow me on Instagram: @spinsterhoodreimagined Follow me on Twitter: @LucyMeggeson Follow me on LinkedIn: Lucy Meggeson Email me: lucy@lucymeggeson.com And thank you so much for listening!!!

Ooooh boooy, do we have an episode for you guys. As three eldest daughers who were raised by eldest daughters, we got a loooot to unpack. Inspired by this recent article from The Atlantic, "The Plight of the Eldest Daughter", Kristina, Amanda, and Lyana dive into what it means to be the eldest, what they love about it and what they wish they could stop feeling guilty about.  Season 3 Finale Submissions Link: https://forms.gle/qm528fCMB4aYFzHr8  - Show us some love on Instagram @glowinguplatina Got an idea for an episode? Email us at glowinguplatina@gmail.com If you love us, spread the love and share the show! We'll be forever grateful

Ok, I'm letting you in on some of the behind the scenes stuff I do to prepare for planning days. Yes, I plan for prep for planning days. And I implement after. I think it's high time I show you live how I do it! Here are the next two additional opportunities you don't want to miss. The Productive Home Solution® Planning Day Prep Event I normally spend three days at the end of the year just planning. I know it's crazy, right? And now all my secrets will be revealed. I will be using my real life Sunday Baskets® and my real life slash pockets. This is not in place of the Sunday Basket® Club co-working time. This is a deep dive day! We are going to the next level! I will show you how I go through each slash pocket and update my binders. I will go through all my 2.0 slash pockets and decide on projects. I will take all of my Holiday Blitz papers and place them into the Home Operations Binder for next year's holidays. We will transform that Sunday Basket® into the Taxes Basket. You'll look at last year and the new year baskets and consolidate into one Sunday Basket®. I will also go through both the workbook for The Productive Home Solution® Planning Day and The Productive Home Solution® Playbook.  Friday Workbox® Planning Day Implementation Event “Do I need this information for the next 12 weeks?” This is the big question for this day. This will happen on the 13th Friday of each quarter. We do the planning day. We get clear on your goals. Then you usually need to meet with your team OR meet with yourself. After discussing the goals and how to reach them, you may scale down or change how you initially thought you would accomplish those goals. People are in place to get these goals accomplished. Then comes Implementation Day! I will expose all 6 of my Workboxes and will go through them live. You will see me go through my slash pockets and relabel them. This will freshen up all your systems and get the ball rolling on your new goals you put in your purple slash pockets. Ooooh, I just love planning! Two New Opportunities: Planning Day Prep Dec 28th (the last Thursday of the year)  2 hour live webinar Replay through Jan 8, 2024 Prep Workbook/Playbook Update Binders Weed through 2.0 Slash Pockets If you did the Holiday Blitz, you'll consolidate and repurpose those Sunday Baskets® No Prerequisite Friday Workbox® Planning Day Implementation Dec 29th (last Friday of the year)  Replay through Jan 8, 2024 About three weeks after Friday Workbox® Planning Day 2 hour live webinar Will always be the 13th Friday of each quarter going forward Weed through 2.0 Slash Pockets and relabel them No Prerequisite All aboard…let's get both trains (home and work) running efficiently to create the impact we all deeply desire.  EPISODE RESOURCES: The Productive Home Solution® Planning Day Prep Workbox Planning Day Implementation Shop the Planning Category Sign Up for the Organize 365® Newsletter  Did you enjoy this episode? Please leave a rating and review in your favorite podcast app. Share this episode with a friend and be sure to tag Organize 365® when you share on social media!

Do I stay....or do I go? Do I keep seeing this person...is it worth it? Will things change? Will they develop into more? Ooooh goodness are those questions REAL, and that's exactly where we're digging in, in today's ep.But first, a very exciting announcement! The Big Dating Nap is here. The BDN is a four week period dedicated to rest and developing a deeper awareness around your dating patterns. It's nourishing, it's rejuvenating, it's all the things we DON'T ever associate with our pursuit of partnership. It will set you up beautifully to completely reframe your approach to dating in 2024. Instead of starting the New Year with tons of pressure to do dating right and meet your person, I highly recommend treating yourself to the BDN— and then getting to dating.  The timing of today's episode was intentional, as there might be someone you're seeing that you do wanting to carry through the BDN (if you're partaking), or, you very much don't. Either way, it's always humbling and clarifying to discern: How do I know if someone is right for me?Today's episode will strongly benefit those stuck in a situation-ship or some point in the first few weeks/months of seeing someone where you sort of feel like things are flatlining but you're afraid to let someone go.I touch on 4 pillars to help answer the above conundrum for yourself, bring some new dating stories to the table from my own experience and walk through a listener's question around a summer fling that's resurfaced and whether she should reopen conversations or set a firm boundary of no contact. It's a juicy ep all around!Take My Online CourseWork with me PrivatelyConnect on InstagramWebsitePodcast Production by James Jorge

Omaha stinks today. Why?

This was meant to be an hour-long chunk but... well, let's just say it went on a bit (surprise). We have some more birthday greetings plus five special guests each giving their five favourite things about An Unearthly Child - two extended universe writers,  a classic series composer and two new series writers all counteract the stuttering nonsense of host Toby Hadoke by provding thoughtful and insightful analysis. As Kenneth Williams kid would say ... "Ooooh!".

Seminole Headlines 11/28/23 H1: UNDEFEATED, Corey Singing & Ira OOOOH, Transfer Portal Needs, Incredible Year from Defense Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ooooh it's a feisty one! It's even feistier on Patreon... www.patreon.com/theworriers

Fairytales do come true - we finally bring you the long-awaited issue on Bigby Wolf! So smoke 'em if you got 'em, because things get hairy in this one! Intro Apologies for delay in new episodes Shoutout to new Patron Justin Background Bigby Wolf created by Bill Willingham and Lan Medina in Fables #1 (July 2002) Based on the Big Bad Wolf of stories, he is the Sheriff of Fabletown, a section of NYC populated with characters from folklore and legend Centuries ago, the North Wind fell in love with a wolf named Winter, and they had a litter of cubs - Bigby was the runt, relentlessly teased by his brothers and abandoned by his father When Winter died, Bigby's brothers left to find their father - Bigby vowed vengeance against his father and his brothers Years later, he confronted his father seven times, and seven times failed to kill him - he eventually gave up and accepted defeat Living in the Black Forest, he served as an uneasy ally of the other Fables against the forces of the Adversary - he insisted on tasting the flesh of anyone attempting to pass through a portal, and determined whether they were worthy After being cut with a lycanthropy-stained knife, he gained the power to change into a human at will, and later mastered the power enough to control the extent of his transition Under the guidance of King Cole, Bigby was hired as Fabletown's sheriff because of his detective skills and fighting ability, but he remained untrusted by the other Fables Later had seven children with Snow White, and they inherited their father's abilities - they all stayed at the Farm, where Bigby was forbidden to visit until he was forgiven by Prince Charming - after marrying Snow White, he and the family moved to Wolf Valley and he retired as Sheriff Turned into glass and killed by Prince Brandish as part of Brandish's fight with Snow White - he was resurrected by witches, but since one of the pieces of glass was missing, his resurrection was tainted and he was under the control of Nurse Spratt until the final piece was returned and he was fully restored Issues - Theme is taming the mind while remaining wild at heart (9:51) Lack of trust by other residents of Fabletown because of his actions prior to the amnesty Hostile relationship with his father Internal dissonance between his animalistic nature and the human side he has to present Break (26:41) Plugs for Play Comics, Scotch N Sports, and Erica Schultz Treatment (28:18) In-universe Out of universe Skit (37:35) Hello Mr Wo -***interrupting*** Bigby. Bigby's fine.  Hello Bigby, I'm Dr. Issues. -And I'm leaving.  Please don't, or we're both going to be in trouble.-There won't be any trouble if you just step aside. You can see I'm fine. I've come in like this before, and I tell everyone in the ER that I'm fine, so they let me go. Not this time. -Grrr…why not? Because you've come in so many times with unknown injuries, outlandish reports that don't make sense, and by the time you leave it's as if nothing ever happened. -Exactly. EXACTLY…that's why the ER director wants me to do a psychiatric evaluation for decision making capacity. If you refuse, then police will be contacted to do a wellness check on wherever you say you're going. -That's…problematic. I agree. So, what's up? My main point is to determine if you understand the risks and benefits of your decision making, and if you are a danger to yourself, others. Or property. - Look, I'm not a danger to anyone, unless they get in my way. But if you don't let me out of here, you're putting others in danger. Can you live with that? Nope, that's why I have confidentiality on my side…and the only way it's broken is if I think there is a danger. You're not the danger and someone else is…prove it. - That's just it. If I tell you, then you're in danger. The safest thing for you is to keep you in the dark. You just have to trust me.  Do you trust me? -No. Then it's mutual. Mexican standoff. I have my regs. You can beat me to a pulp, you can bash your way out of here, you can tangle with the police, but I know my job, and it's protecting society at all costs. That's all there is to it for me at this point. - *chuckles* What's so funny? - You an' I are a lot more alike than I figured. OK. Fine. Have it your way. I'll play your game, I'll answer your questions, but only far enough to get me out of here. We clear? Crystal. - *grunts* Hate that word. Why? - Bad experience. Long story. For once, I ain't got time for that. Plus, you're obviously in a hurry. Why'd you come to the hospital? -I didn't volunteer. Tough scrape, got hit with a truck…what FELT like a truck. I know people don't survive too many hard shots, and they wanted to check me for a concussion. You look and sound pretty good, all things considered -You should see the other guy. Were there any homicidal threats? -No, not this time. *pause* how often do you get threatened? Is this like a mob thing or -No, I'm actually on the side of keeping things in order. I can't say more than that. Classified? -Let's go with that. Ah…I think I'm getting the picture. You weave quite the tale -No kidding. You done? Not quite. Do you know what the typical treatment plan is when you're evaluated for physical and mental injuries? -I…uh…wait a while and if I'm ok, I leave. Like I said…a million times…EVERY time. Including now. Consistency. I like it. And do you know the risks if you leave without any further medical evaluation? -I get to not talk to you anymore, and get on with my job. My very important job that keeps you and everyone else safe, and none the wiser. Am I making myself clear? *exaggerated* Sir yes sir! -What? I'm picking up what you're putting down. Tough guy, lots of fighting skill, important work under lock and key…alright, I'm satisfied. You don't have to tell me what branch…is it CIA? FBI? Secret Service? ATF? DEA? Ooooh, maybe you're international and it's MI6 -You read too many novels. Stop. I'm completely off the books *chuckles* damn I wasn't even trying with that one. Alright, Alright. Look, I'll make your chart locked and the only way to break the seal is if you or your POA approves. Is that a deal? -What's a POA? Power of Attorney…or, if you don't have the ability to share such a legal document, you would need a listed next of kin -Not a chance, too much of a blowhard. And the missus, well… if she found out I'd gotten into a scrape like this, it wouldn't end well for me. Suit yourself. I'll be as vague as possible with details. But I can't keep this up forever. If you do anything to compromise yourself, I won't be able to hold back what's in store for you. You're going to get yourself killed at some point. - Wouldn't be the first time… I, uh, came really close. I'm sorry to hear that. You know, I see more people like you than you realize. I know your type. -*startled* Grrr.WHAT?!! Calm down. I mean the facade. You come off like a grizzly, but I know underneath that, you're really a teddy bear. That's all. I work with some people like that. And I can't change them, so I ride the wave. I hope you let the people close to you see the softer underbelly instead of the claws. - Damn, Doc, you're a lot closer than you realize. Not bad for a mundie. *confused* But it's Wednesday. - *sigh* Can I go now? Ending (44:04) Recommended reading: The Wolf Among Us Next episodes: Eobard Thawne, Aquaman, Echo Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Twitter Facebook TikTok  Patreon TeePublic Discord

Welcome to Friday! Do you need some food for thought?! Well, here we go! Greg shares some nuggets of wisdom from things he's heard throughout the week that he feels may bless someone tuning in today! Jeremiah Johnson says “Our walk with God should be a response to his love, not an attempt to earn it.” Ooooh, good words. Tune in for 14 minutes of hope nuggets today! _____________________________________________________________________________ Look for HOPE is Here: - at www.HOPEisHere.Today - on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/HOPEisHereToday - on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hopeisherelex/ - on X (Twitter) - https://www.x.com/hopeisherelex - on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@hopeisherelex - on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtJ47I4w6atOHr7agGpOuvA Help us bring HOPE and encouragement to others: - by texting the word GIVE to 833-713-1591 - by visiting https://www.hopeisheretoday.org/donate   #Lexington #Kentucky #christianradio #JesusRadio #Jesus #WJMM #GregHorn #GregJHorn #suicideprevention #KentuckyRadio #HOPEisHere #Hope #HopeinJesus #FoodForThoughtFriday #MondayMotivation #FridayFeeling #Motivation #Inspiration #cupofHope #FYP #ForYouPage #SuicideAwareness  

Ooooh, the Wampas boys got in trouble! Tsk tsk tsk. Find out what they did to piss off the Associated Press and more with the second half of 1927's Wampas Baby Stars, including tales of a lumpy dog named Bobo, a bit of bum, the complete inability to grasp direction, an elderly woman flying a plane, and when real success involves taking your pants off! This episode may contain (mild) language that may be inappropriate for some listeners. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello my lovers! I have missed you dearly! And I am so freaking excited to be BACK at the podcast with some new gusto! Did you notice the name change? The song update? OOOOH we are getting spicy! In this episode I'm sharing my new vision for the podcast going forward, and sharing some ideas about taking inspired action! Get on in here, we need you! *This episode is brought to you by ME, ALISON!* I'VE GOT a birthday blowout sale coming up! And I want you to get all my goodies for the cheapest they have ever been, ever, for my 40th birthday! So show me some love??? It's for 24 hours on NOV. 10…my birthday! GET THE NOTIFIED WHEN IT'S LIVE! https://alisonfaulkner.com/opt-in Thanks to my main man Pleasant Pictures, you can find his music here: http://pleasantpictures.club or http://ericmichaelrobertson.com

Ooooh, felt like someone just walked over my grave... This week, the Monolith hosts discuss just what the hell they've been up to since last episode, alongside their full throughts on the latest horror blockbusters, SAW X & THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER. Man, if only there were a way to log, review, categorize and organize all of the horror movies you've watched this month. Thankfully, Monolith is here to help you finally get you f&*#in' s%!t together with our BRAND NEW 20% DISCOUNT CODE FOR LETTERBOXD PRO / PATRON ACCOUNTS: HAL9000 Daddy needs a new pair of shoes. So tell your friends! And of course, Happy Halloween! Gaza Fights For Freedom (2019) | Full Documentary | Directed by Abby Martin:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnZSaKYmP2s

Ooooh, do I have a TREAT for you all today. I am absolutely giddy to welcome my boyfriend of two years, Osa, onto the podcast! Osa's more of a behind-the-scenes type of guy. But today, we're sitting down for a conversation about how we met, our first impressions of each other, what we think about online dating, how we transitioned from dating to a long-term relationship, and so much more! Not only that, but we've also slipped in a little teaser for something that we're VERY excited about…something the two of us will be doing together! Ready for a behind-the-scenes tour of how we started out? Grab your favorite tea, settle in, and enjoy the ride!   WORK WITH BEATRICE: Listen to OFF THE RECORD, a deep-dive into some of the most intimate parts of mine and Osa's relationship: https://beatricekamau.com/otr    CONNECT WITH BEATRICE: Want to get to know the woman behind the podcast? Find me in these TikTok streets: https://www.tiktok.com/@iambeatricekamau  Be sure to connect with me more on Instagram @theselflovefix. I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode and what your major takeaways were. Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life. Sign up for Indulgent and Balanced™, a guilty-pleasure, FREE monthly newsletter filled with tips, honey, and sweetness designed to help you experience a delicious and pleasure-filled life FIRST so that you can take action from an aligned place: https://bold-hill-3643.ck.page/87dcb0b30c Join The Shameless Societea, where luxe bitches get together and learn to hold themselves to a higher standard, to be celebrated, to be supported, and to expand through community and vulnerability. This is where you come home to yourself. Welcome HOME. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theshamelesssocietea   

OoOoH, its Spooktober once again, the most frightful time of the year, and you know what that means: its time.... to laugh! In our first October 2023 episode of Cinema in Seconds, Ian and Daniel are joined by Brooke to looks at hilarious moments from those movies that focus on jokes AND jump scares. Come join us! What We Do in the Shadows - 7:00 Army of Darkness - 14:30 Braindead - 27:00 Tucker & Dale Vs Evil - 38:00 Addams Family Values - 47:00 Tales of Terror - 1:04:00

Ooooh-ooooh Baby, Oooooh Baby… This year The Dolls are taking a break from their traditional spooky season viewing to celebrate their other favorite holiday with Friday the 13th Part 5! www.thedollsofhorror.com Producer: Nina Yarrington Logo by: Clark Felix --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedollsofhorror/support

Ooooh buddy! Learning new things can be tricky.  But old dogs can still learn new tricks after all.  Pay attention to how Jupiter humbly teaches me.  Season 2: Episode 27 Things About Things. It's Really Good. 

“Your self-talk is actually part of your prayer life.” Ooooh, how do you talk to yourself? We can't just “water” our faith once a week on Sundays and expect it to grow and thrive. Our self-talk starts in our hearts. When you're getting discouraged, maybe it's time to water your faith – fuel your tank and fill up some hope! Join Greg for 14 minutes of HOPE-Fuel!   _____________________________________________________________________________ Look for HOPE is Here: - at www.HOPEisHere.Today - on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/HOPEisHereToday - on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hopeisherelex/ - on X (Twitter) - https://www.x.com/hopeisherelex - on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@hopeisherelex - on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtJ47I4w6atOHr7agGpOuvA Help us bring HOPE and encouragement to others: - by texting the word GIVE to 833-713-1591 - by visiting https://www.hopeisheretoday.org/donate   #Lexington #Kentucky #christianradio #JesusRadio #Jesus #WJMM #GregHorn #GregJHorn #suicideprevention #KentuckyRadio #HOPEisHere #Hope #HopeinJesus #FoodForThoughtFriday #MondayMotivation #FridayFeeling #Motivation #Inspiration #cupofHope #FYP #ForYouPage #SuicideAwareness

This episode, we focus on one of Gatman's most gafflingly grazen gad guys, the Ventriloquist (and Scarface!) Who's really pulling the strings? Listen now to find out! Intro Reminder of PuchiCon appearance Background (3:00) Important to note that in this version, the dummy was made from wood used in Blackgate's old gallows, and there are conflicting reports whether the dummy is possessed or not Ventriloquist (Arnold Wesker) created by John Wagner, Alan Grant, and Norm Breyfogle in Detective Comics #583 (Feb. 1988) Arnold Wesker is a meek man from a mafia family – originally developed DID after witnessing his mother's murder His origin was later retconned – imprisoned in Blackgate prison, he begins hearing voices from a dummy named Woody, and the voices convince him to murder his cellmate – during the fight, Woody is damaged, and takes on the name Scarface In either version, Scarface becomes the controlling force, and Wesker is his “puppet” - to the point that Scarface becomes enraged if people insist on speaking to Wesker and not him One telltale sign is that Wesker/Scarface is unable to pronounce the letter B, replacing it with G - Batman becomes Gatman, bullets become gullets, etc. At one point Wesker was committed to Arkham Asylum, and upon escaping used a sock puppet named Socko - when Scarface learned he had been replaced, he and Socko had a gunfight, resulting in damage to Wesker's hands #BecauseComics After an earthquake nearly destroys Gotham, a new villain called the Quakemaster shows up demanding a ransom to prevent further earthquakes - Tim Drake is able to deduce it's Scarface because Quakemaster refuses to pronounce words with the letter B Has an on-again/off-again partnership with the Penguin, where they often break each other out of prison and work together on criminal enterprises Murdered by Tally Man in an effort to frame Harvey Dent Later resurrected during Blackest Night as a member of the Black Lantern Corps, and creates a construct of Scarface with his ring New 52 - he was never killed, and was hospitalized for treatment of his DID Briefly controlled by the Venom serum, but was taken down by Nightwing and Damian Wayne Succeeded as Ventriloquist by a woman named Shauna Belzer, who had her own puppet Ferdie He helped Batman defeat Psycho-Pirate, because his DID was able to override Pirate's emotion control powers since Scarface was really in charge Issues - the pawn who would be king (7:03) Dissociation, Depersonalization, and Derealization Subordination (14:03) Masochism (21:04) Break (26:01) Plugs for Popcorn Psychology, Ocho Duro Parlay Hour, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson Treatment (26:56) In-universe - introduce ways to take Scarface out of commission Out of universe - work on scaling down and away from coping mechanism (30:10) Skit (34:06) DOC: Hello Mr. Wesker, I'm Dr. Issues. SCARFACE: Nope, you're talking to ME, doc. Leave the dummy outta this. WESKER: W-w-well at least l-l-let me say h-h-hello f-first. SCARFACE: Shut yer yap and lemme do the talking. The less you talk, the faster we can greak outta here and get gack to gusiness. DOC: I love Vaudeville as much as anybody, but SCARFACE: *interrupting* that explains your practice DOC: Hey! This is a serious establishment. Are you going to talk to me or not? WESKER: I-I-I SCARFACE: Aye Aye Aye is right! Sheesh! You gonna take the hint, shrinkydink? This mug is useless without me. I'm the grains of this operation. That's how I keep making gread. DOC: *flustered* Fine. Tell me, what can I do for you? SCARFACE: Can you crack safes? DOC: No SCARFACE: Can you crack heads? DOC: NO! SCARFACE: Knockaround guy? Gagman? DOC: No and No SCARFACE: Is your office a good place to do laundry, if ya catch my drift? DOC: I'm not doing anything illegal for you! SCARFACE: Then you're a waste of space like this guy over here! DOC: He is the reason you can talk at all! SCARFACE: waaaaatch your mouth, you're on thin ice, capiche? DOC: Mr. Wesker, are you going to stand for this? SCARFACE: He doesn't have to, that's why he's sittin down. And you're gonna be layin down for a dirt nap if you don't keep your eyes on me! DOC: You don't have any weapons. That tommy gun is a toy. I'm not stupid. SCARFACE: My noggin is like taking a Louisville slugger to the jaw if you're unprepared. DOC: If you're so bright,have you figured out a way to resolve your anger without resorting to violence? SCARFACE: Resort? You darn right I resort. A hideout full of moola and the screams of my enemies make crime a vacation.  DOC: Is that what Wesker wants? SCARFACE: Who cares what he wants?  DOC: I do. And if this is you, Arnold, then I'm willing to work with you in this…unique arrangement. SCARFACE: I'm confused. Are you talking to me or to him? DOC: Yes. SCARFACE: *pause* Ooooh, you're a slick one, aintcha? Gut there's no one else you need to talk to.  DOC: Thank goodness. So, I'll make sure I only direct my questions to you, and you'll answer, and I'll make sure it's documented in your chart, under your name. Just spell it for me so I get it right. SCARFACE: S-C-A DOC: A-R-N SCARFACE: *screaming* THIS AIN'T A JOKE!  DOC: I'm not laughing. I'm talking to you. I'm looking at you. I know you run the show, and I'm giving you the attention you deserve. If the other part is not important according to you, fine. But I won't let your reality get in the way of mine. SCARFACE: YOU SICKO! Don't toy with my emotions. DOC: Don't use your emotions as toys WESKER: Please stop fighting DOC: who said that? SCARFACE: NOBODY! DUMMY, SHUT UP!  WESKER: yes sir DOC: You seem to have an issue with a part of you that is intimidated. What do you plan to do to strengthen it?  SCARFACE: I'm not weak; that loser DOC:*interrupting* You're a loser; got it. SCARFACE: I'm not here to be insulted! WESKER: You usually leave that to me DOC: Progress! Now if you could only get him to stop shoving his hand inside you to compensate, you wouldn't be so uptight SCARFACE: *pause* wait…are you actually trying to treat me here? DOC: It wasn't my first idea but if it's the only way I can ultimately give you some peace and have fewer people hurt, I'll make it work. SCARFACE: *exaggerated wistful sigh* Maybe I can finally get a world without Dummy. A mafioso can dream. DOC: Um…erm…something like that. Anyway, I noticed that I didn't get my usual fee before the session, so I'm going to have to bill you for the balance. SCARFACE: *deadpan* Oh…Dummy takes care of that  WESKER: I DO NOT DOC: WHAT? SCARFACE: I MEANT THE CHECK'S IN THE MAIL. Now get me outta here before he makes me talk about my mother. *fake sob* I really miss her. DOC: Pining? SCARFACE: No, oak. Ending (38:54) Recommended reading: Batman: Broken City by Brian Azzarello & Eduardo Risso Next episodes: Bigby Wolf, Eobard Thawne, Speedball Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network References: Penguin episode - Anthony (5:14) All the Smoke podcast - Doc (15:00) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Twitter Facebook TikTok  Patreon TeePublic Discord  

I can't say that I'm "over the moon" about the victory over the Washington "Commandos" because I'm not. Like many, I was relieved and a little unhinged after the victory. Why???? Because the DEFENSE IS SWISS CHEESE!!!! For those who know me, I try to be a rational fan. Today, I let my anger spew. This defense let Samuel Howell come into South Philly and carve them up!!! ....but Jalen, AJ, Smitty, Swifty (not Taylor), and Chicken Little (Jake Elliot) came to the rescue!!!! Super happy we have a QB like Jalen Hurts that we can trust without fear, but this defense really let me/us down today!!! I didn't take it easy on them in this episode. I'm not giving the BOD!!! Nah, yall gotta be better. PERIOD!!! Especially the Secondary. No reason to have two all pro CBs back there and they play soft coverage all day!!!! Something has to change because THIS is not the standard. Fix it!!!! Let me chill though, because a win is a win is a win is a WIN (that's 4 wins and ZERO losses). Winning is the MAIN THING…..even if the refs try to steal the game from you (smh)!!!!! Follow on Social Media @fourfor4podcast Tell a friend to tell a friend!!!

Ooooh those NFL script writers are a savvy crew!  Getting mega star Taylor Swift to have dating rumors swirl around a no-name like Travis Kelce is genius!  Getting a whole new demographic to tune in.  We guarantee that next season, you will see a whole new wave of female fantasy footballers, with Kelce being the #1 overall pick. Oh yeah, there was other fantasy football implications this week as well, and we talk about some potential pickup targets, as well as the state of each of our squads. Don't forget, this amazing banter isn't just only for the podcast. We are The Pool Boys, so be sure to check out our website www.thepoolboys.net to see how we can help your company's employee engagement needs!

Ooooh y'all you're in for a treat on today's episode of The NO Bullsh*t Manifestation Show as TODAY Sept. 21st 2023, is the 4 year anniversary of hiring my first manifestation coach. This has hands down been the most pivotal decision I have ever made and was the first leap of faith I took when manifesting my dream life. If you are wanting to understand more deeply how I manifested my dream life and what the process of using manifestation has looked like for me, this is the episode for you!*Trigger Warning: suicide and ideations of suicide are discussed in this episode.*On this solo episode of The NO Bullsh*t Manifestation Show, Kat talks about:The power of intentional manifestationInvesting in yourself via coachingThe formation of the subconscious mind Getting support from the UniverseCreating freedom in all aspectsMoving through and releasing past traumasDoing the deep innerwork to truly healBeing the embodiment of who you are to your coreBridging the gap between where you are and where you want to beLearning how to tap into your powerIf you are ready to transform your life & finances with the power of intentional manifestation... Join the waitlist for Kat's signature transformational manifestation program: The Abundant AF Babe Academy

Ooooh, it's our first cowboy book in a minute! Mel and Sabrina recap A Cowboy to Remember by Rebekah Weatherspoon, which a second-chance AMNESIA romance! That's a tough trope convo to pull off and this book is FANTASTIC! It's the last day of our Patreon fundraiser benefitting the people of Maui! Sign up before midnight ET on September 18th and we will double the first month's pledge and we'll split that donation between the Maui Food Bank and the Maui Fire Relief Fund!Bonus Content: the alien lover's anthem, the search for a tax-deductible ass, Western Times rom-coms (AKA Kitt McBride Get a Wife by Amy Barry), imparting knowledge about things we have absolutely no personal experience in we promise, being dressed "to the nines," math/love is the universal language, and so much more!Lady Loves: Sabrina - get yourself an old-timey oil lamp! It's such a perfect way to wind down at the end of the night! Mel - the Netflix show One Piece! It's such a fun romp and a big inspire and SO MUCH FUN! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :)Get more content on PATREON!!Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, RedbubbleInstagram: @heavingbosomsTwitter: @heaving_bosoms

Chelsea say “Buy buy”; Hammers say “Bye bye.” Phil, Jim, Pete Harcourt and Mark Gower say there's no better better than Lucus Paqueta. Plus Sterling's dry hands and England's sweariest ‘keeper. westhampodcast.com  @westhampodcast  Produced by Paul Myers and Mike Leigh  Engineered by Leon Gorman  A Playback Media Production  playbackmedia.co.uk  Copyright 2023 Playback Media Ltd - playbackmedia.co.uk/copyright Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have a mile-long to-do list? Do you know there are things you should do in your business but don't know where to start?   Ooooh yeah! I've been there, friends. And my guess is that you –like me!!-- don't understand what it takes to be a CEO.   I genuinely think most business owners struggle with this. I certainly did NOT understand what it took to be a CEO and truly step into that leadership role. (Hint: I do now!)   So if you have big dreams and aspirations of taking your business to the next level, whether that's growing your team, getting more visible, or opening multiple locations —then this episode is for you!!   I'm diving into the 4 step breakdown of how to get you into a CEO mindset. We're talking about the importance of defining what success looks like to you, why you need to cut out that external noise, centering in on your why, and so much more!!   My intention is to help equip you to step into that strong CEO leadership mindset and develop a strategy that supports you in reaching those goals!    This is seriously game-changing and such a vital piece of the puzzle if you want to become the leader you were meant to be!    So if you're ready to embody the CEO mindset as a business owner, click that play button and let's go!!    Leave a 5 star review on iTunes!    Episode Highlights: What I thought a CEO was How to get into the CEO mindset Why you have to figure out your why The importance of cutting out external noise How to lay out the path to get where you're going Why you need to define what success looks like for you How to use the 4 steps to reassess your path Practicing persistence Prioritizing your leadership   Need help getting shit done? https://www.facebook.com/groups/getshitdoneclub  Send us podcast ideas at info@kelseymarieknutson.com    Links: Show notes: https://www.kelseymarieknutson.com/podcast   Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseymarieknutson/  Hangout on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/getshitdoneclub    Try my favorite greens! Opti-green 50: https://1stphorm.com/products/opti-greens-50/?a_aid=KelseyMarie1   My secret weapon for growing my hair for the wedding: https://1stphorm.com/products/collagen-with-dermaval/?a_aid=KelseyMarie1 Work with Kelsey: Ready for your next big pivot? Maybe it's launching that new side hustle or growing your existing business, whatever the chapter Kelsey's here to help you bridge the gap between new ideas and achieving your goals! VIP Coaching: https://www.kelseymarieknutson.com/vipcoaching

Do you have a business power hour? Ooooh you are going to want one after you listen to this. Georgie Bryant and I talk about the benefits of having a Power Hour like increased productivity, doing a task you might be avoiding, and improving your time management or other skills. We also brainstorm ideas you might want to include in your Power Hour and obstacles that might come up - like you don't have time, you don't feel like doing it, or you go over the hour and you don't get everything done. I kept asking questions as I wondered what else someone might want to include. Be sure to listen to the end to find out a few of the things I'm going to include in my Power Hour. Georgie Bryant is a life coach, project manager, and time management expert. She helps toddler mums cure their overwhelm permanently using her signature program, The Balanced Mum Method. Georgie is certified through the Beautiful You Coaching Academy and The Life Coach School. She has worked as a coach for Sarah Jenks and as a contractor for The Life Coach School. She lives in Melbourne, Australia with her family, including her 5-year-old daughter and black cat, Pickles. Connect with Georgie: Website Instagram Time and Enjoyment Tracker Connect with me:  Learn → https://simplysquaredaway.com/  Connect → tracy@simpysquaredaway.com  Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/tracyhoth/  FREE File Naming Formula Cheatsheet →  https://bit.ly/3Ztn5g6  Get Time Freedom with a Systemized and Organized Business → http://bit.ly/40IkFLK   FREE Workshop: 3 Secrets to Organize Your Digital Files → https://training.simplysquaredaway.com/3-secrets-workshop  The Client Tracker - Confidently manage your clients with this all-in-one system. 50% off right now.

Part 2 is here: Lucid dreaming! Teeth falling out! Medications and dreaming! The source of creativity! Even how to clean your brain. Dr. G. William Domhoff has studied dreams for decades and returns to answer an absolute deluge of questions with his wisdom and aplomb. By the end, you'll know to sleep better, why it's important, how to relax like a fish, if cheese alters your subconscious, why your dog flaps their paws during naps, and rejoice about a freshly discovered part of the brain. Ooooh, it's an instant classic.Dr. G. William Domhoff's book: The Neurocognitive Theory of DreamingHis website: dreambank.netThis episode is wonderfully sponsored by Saatva.com/ologiesDonation will be made to Worldwide Indigenous Science Network and toward dream research at UC Santa Cruz More episode sources and linksOther episodes you may enjoy: Somnology (SLEEP), Chronobiology (CIRCADIAN RHYTHMS), Personality Psychology (PERSONALITY), Molecular Neurobiology (BRAIN CHEMICALS), Attention-Deficit Neuropsychology (ADHD) Part 1 and Part 2, Eudemonology (HAPPINESS), Dendrology (TREES), Thermophysiology (BODY HEAT), Ursinology (BEARS), Cicadology (CICADAS), Opposumology (O/POSSUMS), Chiropterology (BATS)Sponsors of OlogiesTranscripts and bleeped episodesSmologies (short, classroom-safe) episodesBecome a patron of Ologies for as little as a buck a monthOlogiesMerch.com has hats, shirts, masks, totes!Follow @Ologies on Twitter and InstagramFollow @AlieWard on Twitter and InstagramEditing by Mercedes Maitland of Maitland Audio Productions and Jarrett Sleeper of MindJam MediaTranscripts by Emily White of The WordaryWebsite by Kelly R. DwyerTheme song by Nick Thorburn