Twice as Less Not Perfect: A Messy Marriage Podcast

We've often said that marriage is a business, but according to the book, Spousonomics, by Paula Szuchman & Jenny Anderson, it's really a lot more like the economy...complicated.Get the book here.This amazing book is so chock full of great marriage advice we read it twice and had to split it into 2 parts!If you grew up believing you should never go to bed angry, that's just "Loss Aversion".Found yourself talking about how you should have more sex, but can't seem to get around to it? That's just a good old fashioned case of "Supply and Demand".Turns out that a laissez faire attitude is great for capitalism, but not so much for a relationship.In Part2, we dive into the last 4 economic principles that can make your marriage bubble burst:Trade-OffsAsymmetric InformationIntertemporal ChoiceBubblesThen we reveal some of the strategies that can help bring you back from full on market meltdown.At the end of the day, when 1/2 of marriages fail, having a little insurance on one of life's biggest investment is smart move!Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We've often said that marriage is a business, but according to the book, Spousonomics, by Paula Szuchman & Jenny Anderson, it's really a lot more like the economy...complicated.Get the book here.This amazing book is so chock full of great marriage advice we read it twice and had to split it into 2 parts!If you grew up believing you should never go to bed angry, that's just "Loss Aversion".Found yourself talking about how you should have more sex, but can't seem to get around to it? That's just a good old fashioned case of "Supply and Demand".Turns out that a laissez faire attitude is great for capitalism, but not so much for a relationship.We dive into the first 5 economic principles that can make your marriage bubble burst:Division of LaborLoss AversionSupply and DemandMoral HazardIncentivesThen we reveal some of the strategies that can help bring you back from full on market meltdown.At the end of the day, when 1/2 of marriages fail, having a little insurance on one of life's biggest investment is smart move!Great News! Our benefit concert, Mess Is More: The Musical has been rescheduled! All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs!All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home.Get your tickets for August 12,  2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical.You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess!Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Can we be done with COVID yet? After a week, where our concert was cancelled just as family arrived in town to see it, all of our friends got sick, Nola turned 1 year old, and Emily's work closed for 10 days, we admittedly felt a little 2020 PTSD. We decided to check in with each other, and dig into how we're feeling...hint...it's not great.We discuss dealing with past trauma, grieving the loss of our former selves in a way that we're still trying to wrap our head around after a pandemic/baby one two punch.Nate discusses how feeling defeated, led him to defy airport employees because life has been so out of control lately.At the end of the day, we are two tired people, who were feeling particularly downtrodden, and just hit record to show up as authentically messy as we could for 80 minutes.So while BA.5 tears across the country, and you find yourself having Deja Vu of March 2020 all over again, join us in solidarity.Great News! Our benefit concert, Mess Is More: The Musical has been rescheduled! All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs!All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home.Get your tickets for August 12,  2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical.You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess!Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

In our 11 years of marriage we have learned a lot about what make a marriage tick, but in so many unforeseen ways we are mere novices.With that in mind, we are thrilled to have our first guests on Mess Is More.This week, we sit down with our dear friends, Christy Brandt and John Gary Brown. They have been married for over 40 years, and together for 50. They share some wonderful stories about what it takes to get messy over the long haul. We could have talked with them for hours, because their insight is poignant, touching, and a goddamn delight.As longtime company members at Creede Repertory Theatre, they have some amazing insight into what it take to not only stick it out for the long haul, but how to make a fulfilling life in the arts, where both are able to find their joy in their artistic endeavors.Listen now, to learn about marrying your best friend, and what it means to break the script about what a traditional marriage should look like.This episode is not to be missed.Great News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs.All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home.Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical.You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess!Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Happy 4th of July???After the overturning or Roe vs. Wade a couple weeks ago, it's even more critical that family care is addressed by our country. Being a new parent is a huge endeavor, and the USA is one of the only wealthy nations that doesn't have national paid leave.We have been fortunate to have 3 great companies step up to provide family support in amazing ways.  We want to shout out and hear about the organizations that are helping fill the void, that so far our country has refused to fill.Check out these 3 Great companies on instagramCreede Repertory Theatre - @creederepCurriculum Associates - @curriculum_associatesIndianapolis Symphony Orchestra - @indy_symphonyCheck out the articles from the episode here:https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/06/us-paid-parental-leave-child-welfare-tax-credit/661276/https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/25/upshot/paid-leave-democrats.htmlGreat News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs.All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home.Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical.You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess!Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

This week, we dive into The D Word; one of the scariest words you can utter in a marriage.We break down 8 common signs of divorce and reflect on how we recognized these red flags later than we would have liked.But after standing on the edge of marital oblivion, we found that living in fear of divorce was not nearly as helpful as having a healthy respect for it. That healthy respect is part of what keeps a marriage in the moment, looking out for trouble on the horizon, and a relationship built on open communication.Read the article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202108/8-signs-partner-may-want-divorceGreat News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs.All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home.Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical.You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess!Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Great News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs.All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/As we prepare  the concert, we've been collaborating and cooperating in ways that sometimes feel a little different than married life. Reflecting on our past creative endeavors, we are reminded of some of the lessons we learned in the process and how it has strengthened our marriage overall.Listen to "Conjugal Collaboration" to learn how a creative venture can help your marriage/partnership as it relates to:Goal settingTrust issuesPower dynamicsCommunicationSupporting each otherGoing from a win/lose mentality to a we win approachSharing a phone chargerWe hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess.Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast)Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We did it! We made it through 40 plus weeks of pregnancy, the trials of labor, and the indescribable feeling of seeing the little person we made together.Then the fun starts. We always heard "everything would change", that "life will never be the same", but we didn't really know what it would all mean.In this weeks episode we break it down:How are things different now?What does our life look like?Why are we simultaneously so happy and so sad?Why are the baby blues such a stupid name for something so damn hard?Why aren't more people talking about it?Join us in the conversation as we explore how joy is different now.Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast), and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We're back y'all! And we have a new name: Mess Is More! We left last season with a real cliffhanger ...did we or did we not have that baby??? Spoiler: We did. Today's episode is dedicated to the birth story of the amazing tiny human we made! And it's a good one, folks. If you've ever had a baby or your partner has ever had one you will relate to a lot of this story. If you haven't been privy to this sort of thing, you'll get a glimpse into what it takes to birth a human and the incredible bonding opportunity an experience like this is for a couple. We have so much to catch you up on, and this is JUST the beginning. Please join us for Season Two of the new and improved Mess is More podcast. All the messy marriage fun, with a shorter title so you have an easier time telling your friends about us!

If you're like us, you love taking silly Facebook quizzes that tell you which Hogwarts House you belong to. (We're proof that a Gryffindor and Slytherin can make it work!) But this week we take it to a whole other level with the Myers Briggs test from 16Personalities.comWe dive into what makes us tic, how annoying it is to have a computer call you out for your worst traits, and how it affects our relationship. Does the test have our number or is it way off, and even more importantly, what can we do when we're not happy with our results? How much can you change your personality, when parts of it can be detrimental to your personal growth, your relationship, and your parenting style?Take the test and let us know what you learn about your personality.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

In this week's episode, Emily asks Nate all about what it's like to be the other guy. Ya know, the anchor, the support person, the often overlooked partner in the pregnancy duo. What's it like finding out you're going to be a parent?  Is sympathy pregnancy a real thing? And how does it feel knowing your partner is going through a total body transformation and and a potentially dangerous and (at it's easiest) a pretty traumatic and inevitable labor experience and there's not a damn thing you can do about it?We know all the attention is typically on Mom, so this week Nate is here to give us the down and dirty on what it feels like to become a Dad!Check out this awesome article, The Science of How Fatherhood Transforms You from todaysparent.comIf you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

Well we did it y'all. 10 trips around the sun with each other. 5,256,000 Minutes (That's Ten Rent's of marriage!Nate & Emily sit down on their anniversary and revisit what the last 10 years has taught them, how is has surprised and challenged them.They open up about how it was nothing like they anticipated, yet richer than they could have ever anticipated. As they close out this chapter of their marriage and prepare to enter the next as parents, they reflect on what the last year has taught them.They also celebrate a year of "Twice as Less Not Perfect". As a tribute to that first episode,  where they read their vows and thought about what had changed, they up the ante and rewrite their vows for the next ten years.A big thanks to all the listeners who joined us for the journey.  If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

This week Emily & Nate recount the adventure of their BabyMoon.  What is a BabyMoon? How does one do it? Well we’ve got answers apparently, because a registered OB in Key West chased us down the street to ask us all about it. The final trip as a duo is a great chance to reflect on where you’ve been as a couple and look forward to how the new addition to your family is going to change everything. All of that was great, but like  most things in marriage, it wasn’t without its messes. From coming out of quarantine, 3rd trimester symptoms, and finding themselves in the open waters of the Atlantic, their trip to the Florida Keys  was something they’ll never forget.Also, hear an update on our most recent ultrasound and find out how to drive your parents crazy by telling everyone in another state the gender of your baby, but not them. 70 Days to go!If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

We all vow that we'll never become our parents, but if there's one thing that will bring it out of you, it's becoming parents yourself. This week, Emily & Nate dive into how their own upbringing has given them insight into how they would like to parent. Prompted by a great discussion of other parent's to be they talk about the wonderful things they want to pass on to their child from their families. On the flip side, they discuss the parental patterns they want to break. They also turn the lens on themselves and ask "What do I want to continue to do, and what do I want to take the opportunity to stop before an impressionable little one joins our clan?" If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

You've heard of the bump and grind, but this week Emily and Nate are here to talk ALL about the bump....and the GRUMP. Who is the grump? Is it one of them? Possibly. Likely even.What they can tell you is that they are experiencing (in real time) how pregnancy changes the very nature of a relationship. Turns out the cliche we always hear about mom's hormone changes are just one part of the story. Did you know Dad's hormones change too? When Dad had a meltdown about installing a light in the closet, Emily and Nate made that fun discovery.Here all about it and more in this Baby Update!Check out this article from Parents.com, Love and Pregnancy: 5 Ways Pregnancy Will Change Your RelationshipIf you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com 

Many of us say it right in the vows, and hardly take a moment to think about what it really means. Whether it’s facing your own mortality or the mortality of your partner, kicking the bucket is an uncomfortable topic. Nate & Emily talk about how they have prepared for end of life decisions...and by that they mean they haven’t prepared at all. From the little things like what songs you want played at your funeral to the big complicated stuff like wills and life insurance it’s definitely a good thing to talk about long before you shuffle off that mortal coil.Don’t fear the reaper! Stare into his empty eye sockets and you may find it brings you even closer together. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

It’s not easy being green with envy. It’s even harder when the person inviting the wrath of your green-eyed monster is your partner. Turns out it’s a slippery slope from admiration, emulation, and pride to malicious behavior. Most people don’t like to admit it, but it’s easy to harbor resentment with your spouse over careers, popularity, attractiveness, wealth, prestige and a host of other things that should make us nothing but proud...except they make us feel so damn worthless. If comparison is the thief of joy, then envy is the little green goblin of grudgingness. Check out this article, To Love and To Envy by Dana Shavin in Psychology Today! Also, here are 4 Ways to Deal With Significant Other EnvyIf you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

If you’re looking for advice, we have none. This week we provide an update on all of our baby craziness and how it’s impacting our marriage in surprising ways.From ultrasounds to genetic testing; registries and gender reveals, we’re capturing some of what’s happening in real time. Listen in to find out how fluctuating birth plans, last name debates, and nesting make thing all the messier. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

No, it'a not an episode about broadband. These 3 G's are all about sex. As in Gettin it on, Gettin busy, Giggity giggity...you get the idea. (giggity)This week, Emily and Nate discuss why it's so dang hard to keep the fire stoked after over a decade of shagging. Have they always succeeded? Of course not! Do they keep trying new things? Most definitely! Learn about (some of) those things and learn some ideas about how you can spark the flames and rekindle your fire.Emily and Nate got a little help from their favorite resource The All or Nothing Marriage, and love guru Esther Perel.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Is Valentines Day feeling more stale than a box of candy hearts?Are you tired of the expectations and pressure that go along with trying to fit all that love into one day?Maybe you’re anti-Valentines day all together because screw consumerism. We’ve been all three and after years of acting “too cool” for Cupid, we were in for a rude awakening when one of us skipped it during our first year of marriage. Take back the holiday and make it your own because damn it, you deserve to celebrate the love you have for another person this year more than ever. Want to learn more about the origin of St. Valentine's Day? Read this! Check out this list of RomComs to watch (even if you don't like them), or if you're feeling extra anti-Valentine's this year, indulge in one of these dark and twisty films.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

After the amount of feedback from people who reached out about episode 7: Maybe Baby, Nate & Emily regroup after the holidays to revisit the topic of kids.Will they or won't they? Should they or shouldn't they? Will their Mom's heads explode if they don't make up their minds already?Listen in to hear the latest.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

There are plenty of jokes out there about the red flags of dating, but what about the Red Flags waving in your relationships?This week, Emily and Nate, dive into a list Red Flags that therapists look out for when working with couples in therapy.They analyze which ones seem insane, which ones are a little too close for comfort, and the ones they have certainly been guilty of from time to time or all the time.Want to follow along with us? Check out this Buzzfeed Article of Instant Red Flags in Relationships.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

How on earth does Tae Kwan Do, or the Way of the Foot and the Fist, help make a marriage tough enough to break boards?This week, Emily & Nate discuss how the practice of Tae Kwan Do has not only helped them survive the pandemic and create a sense of community, but also how it has helped them in their relationship.In Tae Kwan Do, the practice that it takes to prepare for combat and and hone your skills requires a lot of trust and communication, and it turns out it prepares you for the "combat" of marriage too, by way of the 6 tenets that are recited after every class.They dive into the six Tenets of Tae Kwan Do: Modesty, Perseverance, Self Control, Indomitable Spirit, Courtesy, and Integrity, and how they have helped them develop a deeper system of communication and a common framework that focuses on the internal first, so that they can be better partners both in and out of the Dojang.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

What do you think would happen if you took a 24 Hour Vow of Silence with your partner?Well we did so you don't have to. After reading Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity,Emily & Nate spent 24 hours without talking, texting, writing, and only minimal wild gesticulating .What they learned about their relationship without words was way more powerful than they anticipated. Hear how they tuned into each other's body language, expectations, awareness, spontaneity and spoiler alert....their sex life without a sound.Turns out silence really is golden.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Welcome to 2021, pod goblins! How’s it feel on the other side? If you’re like Em & Nate, you might not feel very different than you did in 2020. After all, we’re all still stuck in the COVID rut, a sort of limbo holding pattern purgatory filled with angst and uncertainty, anger and Enugu, and Netflix and carbs. The good news is, we can see an end in sight. The bad news...? We’re not entirely sure how long it’ll be before the COVID hold loosens it’s grip, nor do we know what life looks like when it finally does. Nate & Em break down a rut they’ve experienced in the past, how they handled it (spoiler, not always well) what they learned from it, and how it’s helped them handle this rut we all find ourselves in. Watch "Soul" on Disney+ and "Psalm of Purgation" to get more Lost in Limbo goodness.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Ahh 2020. What a year. In this episode Emily & Nate ring in the estinguishing of this dumpster fire by sharing two of their New Years traditions: The burning of the grievances, and the gratitude jar.The silver linings of 2020 were in many ways surprising, and Emily & Nate find themselves feeling a lot more introspective than they thought they'd be.Join us in celebrating 2021, the most anticipated New Year of our lifetime! What were your grievances and gratitudes this year? Email them to us at lessnotperfect@gmail.comIf you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

...All around us.....A bit problematic.......Absolutely necessary.In this week's episode, Nate and Emily break down the classic holiday film Love, Actually.It is absolutely a guilty pleasure for them every single year, but it gets more and more dated with every passing season.What aspects of love are ridiculous, absurd, or downright toxic? Which parts are delightful in all their Pointer Sister goodness?With an all star cast, that delivers , despite its surface level portrayals of romantic love, we have to admit...we feel it in our fingers. We feel it in our toes. Christmas is all around us, come on and let it snow!Hate watch with us this holiday season!If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

The Oxford Dictionary defines phubbing as, " the practice of ignoring one's companion or companions in order to pay attention to one's phone or other mobile device". Sound familiar? If you're like Emily and Nate and - let's face it - most people on the planet with a cell phone, this behavior is causing tons of tension in your relationship and is probably keeping you from connecting with each other in some very significant ways. This week, Nate and Emily talk about all the ways their devices have become an addiction, and have caused them to miss out on authentic connection with each other. They discuss the traps of social media, and the brilliant but terrifying documentary, The Social Dilemma, as well as some options for keeping their phone addictions in check. How do you combat phubbing in your relationship? Any and all tips are greatly appreciated!Want to learn more? Check out this article from the Gottman Institute, How Your Smartphone Might Sabotage Your Relationship. And this one form the Association for Psychological Science, How Smartphones Are Affecting Our Relationships.If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

"It was the best of times. It was the end of times." Do you find that tempers are running hot in your household? Like wild horses? Like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?! Fighting with your partner can feel like armageddon is imminent, especially when it seems like the world is falling apart around us.In this episode Nate & Emily saddle up with the Four Horsemen of Fighting. These four behaviors are toxic to a relationship and are accurate predictors of divorce. They break down how Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling can become part of a vicious cycle in a relationship and admit which ones they struggle with most.But don't worry, they also talk about what they've learned about managing conflict instead of resolving it, contending instead of winning, and the antidotes to send the Horsemen back to hell where they belong.For more info on the Four Horsemen and the Gottman Institute, visit Gottman.comIf you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

What's YOUR love language? In this episode, Emily & Nate tackle the world famous, 5 Love Languages. What are their love languages and have they changed over time? Whether it's words of affirmation or acts of service, what has become the relationship version of your Hogwarts House, has its pros and cons.By diving into the science, the underlying philosophy, and the critiques, they uncover what can make the love languages a powerful tool in your marriage arsenal if used thoughtfully.Have a listen and then take the quiz here: 5lovelanguages.comIf you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

Quarantine got you feeling like there's literally nothing new to talk about? Does every day feel the same and time has ceased to have any semblance of meaning? Us too!!!This week, Emily & Nate dive into a set of 36 questions GUARANTEED by SCIENCE to get you talking beyond the standard "How" questions. The 36 Questions have been proven in studies to make strangers fall in love, and people in long-haul marriages to experience more intimacy and increased vulnerability.Emily & Nate are taken aback by how quickly the conversation forces them to lean in, learn something new about each other, and uncover truths that they never would have found if they just walked out of their home offices with a: "How was your day?" You can find the 36 Questions Here and they can be a great way to connect with family over the holidays or a way to connect over something other than half watching Netflix while doom scrolling about the fate of the world. What fun!!!If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

Donate to Nate's Movember campaign hereMovember is here! That time of year where the men in your life shave and grow a 'Stache to raise awareness and money to support Men's mental and physical health. Learn more at Movember.comOn November 1st Nate shaved his beard and began a fundraiser to support the cause and thought it would be a good idea to share a little bit of his own journey through therapy, mental health, and what coming out the other side of depression can look like.In this episode Nate and Emily talk about their perceptions of mental health growing up, and how that affected their approach to dealing with depression. Nate walks through how he has dealt with the pressures of conforming to society's views of masculinity, and how that made him want to "fix it" himself. They share some surprising data on how men respond to therapy differently, how the search for meaning and belonging contribute to success, and how identifying emotional health can be tied to physical well being. Emily and Nate discuss how overcoming the fear of being perceived as broken can hinder us in creating a pathway to a better understanding of ourselves and our partners.Want to learn more about great tips to assess you own well-being? Take the 20-Point Head Inspection from ManTherapy.org If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

Ah, the holidays! Turkey, presents, carols, eggnog, in-laws...more eggnog, travel plans, travel fails, guilt...even more eggnog, hangover, cookies, ugly sweaters...and it's only Dec 20th. And what's worse, the eggnog's gone.Nate and Emily discuss how they've navigated the holiday hullabaloo with multiple family units - and their own sanity - to consider. From incorporating each other's family traditions to making everyone feel included while also prioritizing quality time for each other, learning how to navigate the stress of the holidays is a must for every couple. Thanks to giveaway winner, Laura Enstall for the terrific suggestion!If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family!Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Want to hear our radio play, A Child's Christmas In Wales? Visit the Arvada Center for the Arts & Humanities for tickets and info.

Need a little levity during the REAL election coverage? While you’re waiting in line at the polls, listen to our debate and decide for yourselves who deserves to be the leader of our household. This week, Emily and Nate square off in a robust and tense debate to win your vote as the next President of their United House. Moderated by Kristin Sutter of the Happy News Network Podcast, these two go head to head about kitchen table issues, pet equity, and the exact dimensions of their HVAC filter. Which of the candidates should lead this household into the future, unify both parties, and avoid succession? The fate of their homeland rests in your hands, folks! Be sure to cast your vote on the TALNP Facebook or Instagram page.If you like us please rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen. And share us with your friends! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com Special THANKS to our moderator, Kristin Sutter from the HNN Podcast!And be sure to check out the Happy News Network:A weekly 25-30min podcast highlighting uplifting news.linktr.ee/HNNPodcastYoutubeSocial Media: @HNNPodcastEmail: HNNPodcast@gmail.comNews Theme by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

"I would die for her...I would kill for her...either way, what bliss!" -- The Addams FamilyOn today's very special bonus episode, Emily & Nate talk all about how Gomez and Morticia Addams are killing it at marriage. In fact, they admire the Addams Family SO much that they are dressing up the entire house - dogs included - for Halloween. Be sure to check out their rad costumes (thank you, Nicole Watts) on Insta and Facebook, and tag us with your awesome Halloween pics so we can feature you on our platforms!HaPpY HaLLoWeeEEEeeeN!!!!!If you like us please rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen. And share us with your friends! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

What's more important to you: buying things or buying experiences? Do you prioritize building a comfortable savings or paying down debt? Are you an "in-the-moment spender" or a "long-term investor"? In this week's episode, Emily and Nate ask each other some important questions regarding their finances. Listen as they talk ALL about that cheddar, and reassess where their priorities have changed since the pandemic. Bonus: you can follow along at home by clicking on the link to these 12 questions below, posed by renowned couples therapist, Esther Perel.Renowned Couple Therapist Esther Perel shares 12 money questions all partners should ask each other during quarantine. Read the full article HEREWant a kick-ass financial advisor that won't cost you your first born child? Contact Hannah Raynes at Trilogy Financial and let her know we sent you!Also, get yourselves ready for our BONUS Halloween episode, dropping THIS FRIDAY, where we reveal our costume theme this year and which creepy and cooky couple we admire the MOST!If you like us please rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen. And share us with your friends! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

No, it's not an episode about some gelatinous molded tofu blob we had at Aunt Martha's house last Sunday... today, Nate and Emily discuss jealousy. How it happens, who it affects (hint, it's all of us), why it's toxic, and how they were finally able to break the cycle of mistrust and suspicion. Whether it's because of societal influences, untrustworthy coworkers, long distance, or living in - and eventually leaving - Las Vegas, these two have had plenty of reasons to be jealous, and they've learned a few things because of it. Bottom line: mind your hackles, and be sure you're both playing the same game.If you like us please rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen. And share us with your friends! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

When it comes to traveling with someone, are you a wanderer or a planner? Is your travel companion the opposite? How can you respect their priorities and still get the most out of your vacation? And when you do manage to find a travel groove with someone, what happens when weather, sickness, or the powers that be throw a stick into the spoke of your tandem travel bike? This week, Emily and Nate talk about their different travel personalities and how they've worked through the challenges faced when those personalities clash. Sometimes it looks like a heavenly meal with a gorgeous sunset...and sometimes it looks more like a screaming match in the middle of Hell's Kitchen.If you like us, please share us with your friends! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Ever feel like you're constantly climbing up the marriage mountain with no summit in sight? What is it that makes marriage harder than it's ever been, but also more rewarding? In this week's episode, Nate and Emily discuss their favorite book on marriage, The All or Nothing Marriage by Eli J. Finkel. Learn about the history of marriage in America, and how our journey towards becoming the best version of ourselves puts more stress on American marriage than in any time in history. With incredible insight into the challenges and opportunities modern couples face, this book offers perspective, "lovehacks," recalibration techniques, and so much more! Learn more about the author, Eli J. Finkel hereFind us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

In Part Two of this two part series discussing the #MeToo movement and relationships, Emily and Nate dig into how the conversation transitioned from an external conflict to one that they discovered was very close to home. Also, this week's giveaway winner is revealed!Articles discussed in this episode:https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/3/8/17087628/sexual-assault-marriage-metoohttps://truthout.org/articles/its-time-to-confront-sexual-harassment-within-marriage/https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a21532856/me-too-movement-marriage-monogamy/Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

What is marriage like in the midst of the #MeToo movement? In Part One of this two part episode, Emily and Nate explore their initial reactions, their individual connections with the movement, and how the collective conversation forced them to look at their own relationship in a new light. Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

In this week's episode, Nate and Emily weigh the pros and cons of having babies... Pro: cute. Con: smelly. Pro: fulfillment. Con: very smelly. Pro: making said baby. Con: never having sex again. You get the idea. Also, we pick the first winner in our giveaway sweepstakes!! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Abandonment, Betrayal, Codependency... Emily and Nate discuss how their cumulative baggage has weighed on them - and what a relief it was to toss it out (just don't forget to empty your garbage).Click below to see The Fool tarot card (artwork by Fabio Listrani) on our Facebook and Instagram pages:Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Are you aiding and abetting bad habits in your relationship? We are too! After all, nothing says I love you more than a giant ice cream sundae with a heaping dollop of shame. Listen as Nate and Emily talk about their healthy habits and workout woes, and how NOT to be an enabler.Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Join Emily and Nate in the confessional booth as they each discuss the best and the worst of what they offer the relationship. Then listen to them react and break down how sometimes our biggest weaknesses can be used as strengths...or something like that.Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Emily and Nate answer the age old question: who's turn is it to do the dishes? Spoiler alert: They don't actually know! But one thing is for certain, the everyday tasks and household chores are a real buzzkill, but it really helps to have a plan! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Emily & Nate celebrate their 9th wedding anniversary by reading and critiquing their vows. What did they even mean by that?! Find out what they thought they were saying, and what they wished they could've said knowing what they know now.Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

What does it mean to be stuck at home, spending every single waking minute with your parter? Emily and Nathan discuss how they have dealt with the quarantine and offer insight into how not to murder your partner for chewing too loud. For better or worse, they're in it together. Forever.Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com