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My guest and conversation partner for this episode is Anna Pereira. Anna grew up in New Jersey. She tells us about growing up in a home where she was discouraged by her father from going to college. She tells us that while her mom typically exceeded to the wishes of her dad, Mom did insist that Anna should be able to go to college if she wished. And so Anna did, but only stuck it out for three semesters.   Anna then joined the workforce holding a variety of jobs and becoming successful at most of them.   In 2009 she met and married her husband. That story is one I leave for Anna to tell, but suffice it to say Anna's story is an inspirational and fascinating one you should hear from her. Anna's husband is a sports expert as you will learn. A few years after marrying Anna and her husband moved to Portugal for a job and have been spreading their time between New Jersey and Portugal ever since. In fact, not just travels to Portugal but also to other countries around the world.   The Wellness Universe concept was created by Anna to help bring wellness to leaders and others. Through The Wellness Universe, and now Wellness Universe Corporate Anna has reached thousands of people. Her programs are in large part membership-based endeavors that help promote well being and a more positive outlook on life.   Our conversation is not only informative and inspirational, but it also is quite animated in a positive way that I believe will keep you engaged. Please enjoy your time with Anna and reach out to her afterward at www.thewellnessuniverse.com. I think you will see why Anna believes she is truly changing the world.       About the Guest:   Anna Pereira is the CEO of The Wellness Universe, and Wellness Universe Corporate, creator of wellness events, projects, community, programs, author of 4 best selling books, and founder of Wellness for All, donation based wellness programming and leads a woman-owned business, where they believe happy, healthy, healed humans lead to peace globally. She's an inspirational leader, mentor, and connector for business owners who help humans to live and lead their best life. Anna has worked with thousands of wellness business owners bringing their transformational resources to those seeking wellbeing and now taking those people to help transform organizations through the lens of company culture and well-being. Her contribution and impact are well documented through those she has worked with, evident in over 150 written recommendations in her Linkedin profile.  Anna resides between Portugal and her birthplace, New Jersey, USA, with her husband, sports expert, Hugo Varela. The couple has adopted pets (one dog and two cats) and cares for strays and their African Gray is a quite conversationalist speaking two languages. Her relationship with her loved ones and others is top priority. Anna finds balance in being creative, in nature, and at the beach.  She's dedicated to serving her calling and leaving her legacy as a ‘conduit for change' by bringing more health, happiness, and wellbeing to the world with a collaborative spirit and intentional action.   Ways to connect with Anna:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/annapereira1/  https://www.thewellnessuniverse.com/world-changers/annapereira https://www.facebook.com/CirclesOfInspiration IG - @annapereiraofficial Books - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08VFFJPN9       About the Host:   Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes:   Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, hi everyone, and welcome to another edition of unstoppable mindset. Today we get to chat with Anna Pereira. And Anna is the founder of the wellness universe, the wellness universe and other things that we're going to talk about. She's written several books, and she has been a very active and engaging person. We've had fun catching up even before we started doing this podcast, because Anna spends her time between Portugal and her home in New Jersey, and where she lived in New Jersey was like just a few miles from where I and my wife Karen lived in Westfield New Jersey for six years, so we hadn't talked about that before. Shame on us, but now we have, and we got caught up. Anna, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're glad you're here. Oh   Anna Pereira ** 02:14 Michael, thank you so much. I am delighted to be here. Thank you for having me. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 02:18 I'm really glad that we're getting a chance to do this. So tell us a little bit about kind of the early Anna growing up and all that stuff. Might as well start with that,   02:31 such a big question. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 02:33 if we take the hour to talk about that, then we know that there were some interesting events.   Anna Pereira ** 02:39 All right. Well, great. Well, you know, it's so funny, like you said, we were talking about growing up in in very close proximity to each other, probably around those same years, and had no idea that here we are, later again and and it was our wonderful friend Sharon Carn, that actually put us together here. Yeah. So I grew up in New Jersey, and I had a pretty, pretty average childhood, except for the fact that I feel, and I think that with a lot of first generation immigrants, people that came in from a very strict background, my my culture, my background is Portuguese. My parents raised me in a pretty strict household, but I was not a very compliant individual, growing up with a very free spirit and very creative spirit. So with that, I was always very independent. Wanted to do my own thing, and at the same time, there wasn't, like, a lot of, I want to say nurturing or good parenting from the from the angle of, there wasn't a lot of I love using the house, or there wasn't a lot of encouraging me to pursue a more of an academic route in life. When I expressed that I wanted to further my education, I was met with the minds with my father's fear mindset around money, saying, you know, no, you're not going to college. We can't afford it. Instead of saying, let's explore options here, let's get our child who is interested in furthering her, you know, her, her education, the resources that she needs in order for her to pursue her dreams. So everything was kind of met with that. So where was your mom and all that? My mom was there, and she was just basically subserving to my father. Okay, the and it's a great segue to the the conclusion of that my mom was the one who said, no, no, we're going to go enroll you in college. That's what I was wondering. Yes, thank you. So I went to the wonderful UCC over here in in Cranford. So. I went to for a few years of Union County College, and it still wasn't for me. So I never really finished with any degree, as with many union, I'm sorry, county college students and I joined the workforce. But growing up was a mixed bag. I was very artistic, and I was very well championed and respected, and my peers and even teachers and people around me really knew me for my artistic talent. They and I was very much celebrated and encouraged in that area, but there was a lot of areas that I felt were lacking. I was bullied when I was growing up, and again, the lack of nurturing, and if something happened, well, it had to be my fault. And if it was my fault, then there was the shame and the blame and all that put there. So in growing up with all of these stigmas and traumas, only as I became an adult, did I understand what what I went through and how to become more aware of the situations and circumstances which kind of led me to where I am today. But all through that time, it was interesting, because I don't know where the inspiration came from to have adult conversations as a teen with my teachers, my guidance counselor, which with other adults, and they would ask me for my advice or my perspective on things that I I don't know where I came up with things, but that was kind of like the the seeding of where I am now,   Michael Hingson ** 06:46 interesting. You know, one of the things that that comes to mind when you when you say that last bit, is that I've learned, if nothing else in the world, our subconscious minds, our heart, if you will, observes everything that goes on around us, and oftentimes, will tell us things if we learn to listen. So in a sense, I'm not really surprised that maybe you were able to carry on adult conversations because they picked up on that, but clearly you had been observant enough to be able to gather the knowledge to be able to go off and deal with some of those things, and it's so often that people don't do that today. My favorite example of that is playing Trivial Pursuit. When somebody asks a question and you immediately think of an answer, and then you go, Oh, no, that can't be the right answer. It came too quick, and then you give some other answer, but the original answer was the right answer. And we just don't follow our instincts and our heart nearly as much as we probably ought to.   Anna Pereira ** 07:44 I love that you use the word instinct, Michael, I like to use the word intuition.   Michael Hingson ** 07:49 Same concept, yeah, for what I'm talking about here. Yes, it's there, and we just, we don't use it. We, we seem to be taught by others that that's not the way to do things, and it's a problem.   Anna Pereira ** 08:08 I'm laughing so hard right now, authentically, laughing at what you're saying honestly, and people are now. And then you learn. You go through life, and then you learn like I should have listened to my gut. I should have listened to what I was being told, you know? And if we, if we do, listen more into that, and we lean into that space, which is what, literally, I'm all about right now, and the people I surround myself, it's like listening to that, tuning into your heart, tuning into your gut, and quieting the mind, because the mind is really great after you've come to some sort of decision to help you balance that decision. But if you go to your strictly to your mind, well, that just that just gets all up in the way.   Michael Hingson ** 08:54 Of course, it's really going to part of your mind, because the other part of your mind is really your gut that we don't tend to listen to nearly as much as we should agree. How long ago did you leave college? When did you leave?   Anna Pereira ** 09:06 Oh, my goodness, it was, it was quick. It was basically, I went to county college. So I went for like, three semesters or something. I was probably around, like, 19 or 20.   Michael Hingson ** 09:18 Okay, well, I was wondering how, like, how long, so, how long have you been in the workforce? Then,   Anna Pereira ** 09:23 oh, I've been in the workforce since I was 12 years old, if you want to talk about workforce, okay, no, I got it. I got a part time job after school, and then I was working three jobs when I was 19, so I can get my own apartment. So I joined the workforce like early on, and had always worked, and even when I was in college, I was working two jobs along with being in college. So it just kind of my ethic. And honestly, again, from the immigrant perspective, you work hard, you stay out of trouble, and then. You know you'll have an okay life. And so   Michael Hingson ** 10:03 often, even on this podcast, I hear people who talk about being immigrants directly, or first generation with parents who were immigrants, who say that very same thing and who follow that work ethic, and it serves them so well.   Anna Pereira ** 10:22 There's, there's lots of great things to take away from that. I will say, like when I'm dedicated, I'm committed. You know, there's a lot to be said for a lot of the benefits, as they have seen, have benefited them. But I also see how it creates a lot of shortcomings in your life, and I'm trying to reverse some of that, those patterns and that thinking and those beliefs, those false beliefs, as I've gotten older, because that they really don't serve. Not, not every single thing from that point of view, serves   Michael Hingson ** 11:02 no but it lays a foundation. And then the question is, how you work with and how you evolve? Yes, yeah, which, which really makes a lot of sense. But so you had, what kind of jobs did you have after you left college? Then,   Anna Pereira ** 11:17 oh goodness, well, I've done everything from retail to undercover security, to office, to head of a $15 million division for a pet products company. I've had my own businesses. I've had my own clothing lines, I've had jewelry collections. I I've been an entrepreneur, and I still am, and so it's kind of a hodgepodge, and I've taken away from every single experience, a very big learning experience, from the people that I worked with to the jobs that I've held to you know, even when I talk now, I know, for example, when I design product for a pet products company, I know that there's a certain footprint that a department store or a spec or a store, you have to stay within that footprint when you're designing the packaging, because if you design the packaging outside of that footprint, they're not going to bring the product in it. The profit margin is not there to that makes sense to occupy that footprint, right? So there's, there's so many things that I've learned along the way that I bring into my now. But, yeah, I've hold, I've held, like, various, various job. Telemarketer, like, you name it, almost, I've done it. I've done it. Michael, well,   Michael Hingson ** 12:34 let's, let's get real. You live in New Jersey. Bada, bing, bada, boom. Did you ever work with Tony Soprano? Just checking.   Anna Pereira ** 12:42 I did not, you know, just yesterday, where we headed out to Connecticut, and one of the one of the rest stops are named James Gandolfini, rest stops.   12:50 Oh,   Anna Pereira ** 12:51 I was like, That's so nice, yeah. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 12:52 what? I actually have a funny story when we were building our house. Well, we built our house, and the builder was a gentleman and his sons, Joe scalzidonna, and his partner was the financier for the for the group, and his name was Joe Pinto. And they Joe, especially Pinto, I guess, made his money ready. Here it comes in the garbage business. And it means all that that implies. But, you know, they were very nice to us. All of them were, were really great to us and helped us a lot. They they were very concerned about making sure everything that could be done to make the house accessible for Karen was done. And did some some really great things, and had some really creative contributions over the things that we included in the design. So it was wonderful to work with all of them. But, you know, it's an interesting it's, I like New Jersey. We had a lot of fun there. We would go into New York many weekends and go to the theater or just walk around, and so it was a lot of fun. But Karen was a native Californian and always wanted to get back to California. So after September 11, we did move back here, but it's always good to keep in touch.   Anna Pereira ** 14:14 Yeah, I do love it here. I couldn't give up my home when I married my husband back in 2009 um, it was we were here. But then my husband had to leave and go out of the country, back to Portugal to for an opportunity that he had, that he couldn't, that he couldn't refuse,   Michael Hingson ** 14:33 couldn't refuse one of those, huh?   Anna Pereira ** 14:37 But in a good way. And you know, then there was the, this is where it led to me living between two two countries. But I literally, there was no way I could go in my home in New Jersey. I'm sorry. I am a Jersey girl at heart.   Michael Hingson ** 14:49 There you go. Do you guys ever commute back to Portugal now?   Anna Pereira ** 14:53 Oh, yeah, we live between the two and also our global citizens. Like I just got back from San Paolo on I. Friday morning? Yeah, we, I've traveled this so this year, so far, we've been to San Paolo three times, Rio to London to Dubai to Oh, Argentina is   Michael Hingson ** 15:14 all of that for work?   Anna Pereira ** 15:16 Yes, well, both, because both of us are both business owners, entrepreneurs, networking is a big part of our success. So it's work related, not you know more, more with networking and showing up for different things. I came actually here from Portugal to attend an event as a as a facilitator of a master class for wellness. So I was actually in Portugal when I got called back here to come back to New Jersey, so and so. There is no rhyme or reason or where we go, or what when we go, unless it is provoked by a business opportunity or meeting.   Michael Hingson ** 15:58 What kind of work does he do? So   Anna Pereira ** 16:01 my husband is a very interesting person. He is actually a specialist in the sports world. He had played, yeah, he had played professional football in Portugal, which we call soccer. We call soccer Yes. And from that, it kind of ushered him into this amazing career. He used to be a professional goalie. He went from that to sports agent to advisor to sports team owners restructuring teams, to overseeing the whole workings of teams and helping helping an owner to being part of a fund and being owner of teams, as well as intermediate intermediating different deals and negotiations between partners and just all kinds of things he is. He is a sports expert. He's actually been asked last week to be part of a book that has nothing to do with sports. It's about, I think it's a mathematician or an economist that is a professor over at the college in Portugal has asked him to contribute to the book based on his expertise of sports management. So he's kind of like I want to say, and you and I will understand the terminology. He's a businessman in the sports world so   Michael Hingson ** 17:26 well, that's pretty cool. So does he own a team? Yes.   Anna Pereira ** 17:30 So we are in and out of ownership, depending on when you speak with us. Their their group buys and sells teams. They go in, they restructure, they make sure that the team becomes, you know, better than they were, and they create a great investment out of the the team that they're invested in based on, you know, recruiting great, great talent, selling those, selling the players for transfers much more than what they paid, things like that. So right now, we're in between, but something is coming very soon, and I'll let you know when that happens. When it happens. Keeps   Michael Hingson ** 18:06 you busy. Has he ever thought of or ever explored? This is an off the wall question. But what the heck creating any kind of level of accessibility in soccer, either for like people in wheelchairs or people who are blind, because there are people. I don't know about soccer, but I know that, for example, there are blind people who are well, there are blind golfers. I know a couple of blind people who is children in high school actually played baseball, and they have a clever way to do it. And it was and it was competitive. They were parts of regular teams, and of course, there's, you know, other things like basketball. But I'm just wondering, has he ever considered that, or has that ever come up? I   Anna Pereira ** 18:49 love that you brought this up. First of all, Michael, because this was actually just part of a larger conversation of the conference that I came back for. So my husband's wheelhouse is not in that area. However, you can imagine the amount of detail that goes into the inner workings or structure of an organization for the employees and the structure of a sports organization, down to the individual athletes and then to all of the experiences for everyone who's engaged, every stakeholder, every fan, and so I don't know how much he's ever been involved in those particular conversations before, but I will tell you what was so interesting last week, the organization Sega Sports integrity, global alliance is the organization that is addressing this. And last week we had the master class, sorry, a week and a half ago, there was the master class that I was part of, and the next day were panels, and one of the panels really addressed diversity and inclusion. And the the whole event was, was. Focused on female leadership in sport to bring in more women into the leadership. Their goal is to have 30% of the leadership to be women in sport, professional sport, all of it. So they their big focus, because their founder was part of the soccer world, Emmanuel, but they focus on all the other areas of sport, and so they had offensive champion on the panel. They had someone representing golf, someone there representing chess. They had someone representing all of these different areas, basketball, volleyball, from all these different areas of sport and the the Special Olympics and the Olympics were discussed, and there was a speaker there in a wheelchair, and we, they actually addressed this at this conference specifically. So it is a big conversation. It is a big topic. But to answer your question specifically about my my husband, my husband, I don't know how much he's been into that conversation, specifically.   Michael Hingson ** 21:06 Well, it's interesting. I remember this year when the LA Marathon was run, the first winner was the person from well, the wheelchair category. And I learned last year or the year before, in talking to somebody on the podcast that in reality, oftentimes people in chairs will actually complete a marathon course significantly faster than regular runners because they they get those chairs moving. But of course, it does mean that they have the athletic prowess to do it. And equating competitiveness is, of course, a different story. I suppose that ought to be explored. But the fact of the matter is that oftentimes, wheelchairs will will go through the whole 26.3 miles, or whatever, faster than a person just running with their legs. Now, at the same time, I know a woman who is blind who was an international rower. So rowing is not something that requires any real mate, well, any adaptations to work. But she could never be on an Olympic team. She could only be on a Special Olympic team because she was blind, even though what she did and what rowers did certainly could be done whether you're blind or sighted. So you know my my opinion is what we really should do is require that all sports be played totally in the dark, without any lights, and then we'll see who wins.   Anna Pereira ** 22:49 That is, that's an interesting approach. That's an interesting approach.   Michael Hingson ** 22:52 I worked for a company once, and when my wife also worked for the company, and she was in charge of Doc document control for the company. And one of the things I said is, if you really want to have true document control, because some of the people in the company, including the President, would oftentimes go in and steal the gold copy or the master copy of something, and send it out, rather than making a duplicate, which is a no no. But they did it anyway. And I said, well, then to have doc control, just put everything in Braille and then see what they do. But, you know, good doc control. But so it was just an interesting question, and it is a topic that is more and more part of the discussion, the whole issue of having some level of access for people who are who have other disabilities. And I say that because my opinion is, of course, that every person has a disability. Yours is your light dependent. You know, if the lights go out, you're in a world of hurt, although I'm not. And you know, Thomas Edison and the invention of the electric light bulb mainly fixed that it covers up the disability, but it's still there, but it's but it is true that we are at least discussing it more than we used to. And if we take that discussion further and make something happen with it, that will be a good thing, but it is a an interesting thing that we we end up having to face from time to time.   Anna Pereira ** 24:23 Well, I'll tell you what the individual that I was just speaking about that was part of that panel would probably be interesting for you to have a conversation with. If this is something that you're passionate, have a conversation with Michael. Her name is Karen Korb, K, A, R, I N, K, O, R, B and she she was the one that was speaking on that panel, specifically, and and she was in a wheelchair, so that is really something that she would love to dive into. I'd   Michael Hingson ** 24:50 love to chat with her. If you have a way to help us get an introduction, that would be cool. We'd love to have her on the podcast.   Anna Pereira ** 24:56 Absolutely, she's a divine in. Visual. And   Michael Hingson ** 25:01 of course, as I as I tell people often on this podcast, anyone who has an idea for a guest, we're always looking for, for more people to have so love to meet folks. It's fun.   25:12 Absolutely well, so   Michael Hingson ** 25:14 you wrote a book, 25 tools for happiness, one of four, I believe. And you talk in there about the fact that you manifested your husband. That's an interesting topic. Tell me about that, if you would.   Anna Pereira ** 25:27 Yes. Oh, Michael, this is one of my favorite stories. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity. Any chance, any chance I get. To number one, talk about my husband. Number two, encourage hope in someone who is of, you know, a middle age and still single. Is, is just, it's just a joy for me so and just, I just wanted to correct that. I didn't write the book. I authored book because I had, and this is why I want to, I want to really make note of this. I had 24 other 25 amazing authors contribute to this book. The diversity of stories in that that particular book is really, really, really amazing. So, God, where do I start? And it happened here, in the hat, in the home in union, New Jersey. And a lot of going back to what we were talking about earlier, about what structured my belief system about myself from my childhood and growing up, and how it manifested through my life, and the type of self love, self awareness, belief system I had from growing up really impacted my general happiness. So one of the things that at this point in my life, I just really wanted to settle down with someone that that I was going to build a life with. And in that introduction to the 25 tool this, it's the wellness universe guide to complete self care. 25 tools for happiness. Book my introduction specifically shares my secret sauce of how my life has literally turned into well, I mean, nobody has a fairy tale. Even a fairy tale has its challenges, right? But of as much of a fairy tale as possible, humanly possible on this earth, one day for no reason at all, and I this is why I believe that we all are connected to the Divine and have this channel, this guidance. I wish I just I was at the second floor of my house. I was at the top of my stairs, and it just hit me like because I had just gone through some really traumatizing experiences with somebody that I was getting involved in business with, and she was it just, was just terrible, terrible experience, one of the worst in my life taught me a lot of things. And for some reason, just that day, I was like, and I was raised Catholic. I don't really go to church. I don't like, I don't believe in strict religious rules, but I believe in my spirituality and who exists on the other side watching over me. I think that they are so I was at the top of my stairs, and I was like, Dear God, universe. You know Mary, Jesus, you know Joseph, Saint Rita, whoever's watching over me, I'm like, please just let me, allow me to release judgment of myself, judgment on others, and what I believed others are going to judge me on. And please just bring me someone that's going to allow me to live my happiness and make beautiful babies with and that's what I asked for. And all of a sudden, just by voicing that out, I release so much off of myself, but hearing myself say those words allowed me to have hope and believe in this and hang on to it and cling on to it. And I did. And nine months later, on october 26 I went out on my first date with with my now husband, but I didn't know it at a time. So october 26 was our first date. And on December 23 2009 we were married, and we've now been married 14 years. If, if I met, my math is correct and and that is, I believe, how I manifested, you know, my husband, because of making sure I voiced it, I committed to that I owned it. And then i i Every day, I reminded myself of what I really wanted, and because for me, happiness, it's not it's not what you're experiencing now, you don't really even know what happiness is until you're experiencing so I can't say I want this for the rest of my life, because you don't know if that's exactly what you will want tomorrow, it can make you very miserable tomorrow. Or whatever's making you happy today, like I might not want to go on a roller coaster tomorrow. You know what I mean, and I liked it when I was 14 or 15, so leaving it open to please just allow me to live my happiness was a very strong statement and resonated with me because I was aware enough to know that there was so much undiscovered territory in the world that I would not know what happiness was until I was there and and now here I am living around the world, experiencing all of these new experiences globally, traveling everywhere that I would have never known existed if I had boxed myself into one scenario or one expectation, or what I thought I would be happy, happiness for me, at least at that time, having the wherewithal to say, just allow me to live my happiness and make beautiful babies with and then beautiful babies was just more of a metaphor of Like, bring me someone who's attractive, who I'll be attracted to, who's and that we can create things together that would be beautiful. And I believe that we're doing that through his work, through my work, and through what we're doing on this earth, and our relationships with our friends and family. I think we're creating beautiful things.   Michael Hingson ** 31:18 So do you have children? No, we   Anna Pereira ** 31:21 have not had children and when the window is closed, but we do, we do talk about adoption when things get a little bit more settled, things are a little crazy with all the travel and the work. But no, we ended up not have being able to have children, not because of, you know, physiological reasons, but because of just timing and travel and time passed. I was 36 when, when we met. So,   Michael Hingson ** 31:48 yeah, well, and so, you know the for us when I met Karen, it was in January of 1982 and so I was basically 32 and she was almost 33 and we I always thought there had to be somebody who would be right for me, and I would know it when we met and when I met Karen, and it was a friend who introduced us, we started talking, and when we hit it off. So it was just great conversations. Great great interacting together. And over six months, we we talked some, and then, well, actually, seven months, and then at the end of July of 1982 we were in a car in Santa Ana, and I asked her to marry me, and she said yes, and we have said ever since we were old enough and mature enough to know what we wanted in a person who we would spend the rest of our life with and as I said, it is we. We were together 40 years, and I'm sure that she's still up there monitoring me, so I will behave but, but you know, it, it was just something that took it was the right thing to do, and she was definitely the right person. We had conversations about children and decided she was in a chair and didn't want to really go through a lot of the physical things, because she said if she had to be pregnant, she'd probably be bedridden for a lot of it, and she didn't want to do that. So we made the decision together that we would spoil nieces and nephews, because the advantage of that is that we could kick him out at the end of the day and shoot him home and do and did. So it worked out pretty well. But I know exactly what you're saying, and you know it when the right person comes along, if you really look at it and think about it, and again, it's like most things, all too often, we don't think about the right kinds of things, or we don't think about stuff enough, and that can be a challenge. Or in our case, it wasn't because we thought about it enough and it worked.   Anna Pereira ** 34:15 I love that. Thank you for sharing that.   Michael Hingson ** 34:18 So it is that's cool. And you know, you you guys will will figure out what you're going to do. And adopting. There's a podcast episode that we did with someone now, almost two years ago, and he and his wife adopted two daughters from China when they were over 40, because she wanted to adopt a child from China. And there were stories behind it, but they adopted, and now the children are, I think, like 22 and 25 or 23 and 25 or so, and he's written a book about their adopted. Option journey. But again, the the issue is that you never know where life's going to take you. And they never thought about adopting a Chinese girl, or he didn't his wife did for for various reasons, but they both became part of the journey, and it was, and it still is, a great adventure for them.   Anna Pereira ** 35:21 That's wonderful. So gives us hope.   Michael Hingson ** 35:24 Yeah, a lot of a lot of kids need adopting too. Yeah, so you went to Portugal and for the first time, and by the way, have you learned Portuguese? Let   Anna Pereira ** 35:40 me just put it this way, my Portuguese is as good as my singing. You don't want me to hear you want to hear me do either unless I am. It's absolutely necessary so,   Michael Hingson ** 35:55 and I assuming people in Portugal have probably affirmed that in some way, so I won't dig any deeper. Yes, but you, while you were there or somehow involving Portugal, you decided to form this thing called the wellness universe. Tell us about that.   Anna Pereira ** 36:15 Oh, thanks. Yeah. So I was over in Portugal, and I really didn't have much to do. I started a jewelry collection and a Facebook page to kind of get, you know, get the word out about the jewelry collection, but much more my my approach was to just share who I was and inspirational messages, because that's kind of what lent to the jewelry collection. They were called circles of inspiration, and they had, you know, words of inspiration and colors that attracted certain things to you. And so my facebook page actually really became the outlet for my inspirational memes and quotes and things like that, just where I shared and I grew a great community organically. You know, I started in 2011 and I kind of quickly grew to about 300,000 Facebook followers. And from there, I was very much networked with a lot of inspirational people, whether they were life coaches or spiritual coaches or counselors or speakers or authors or therapists, they all had something to do with being inspiring or motivating in some way shape or form a group of my followers And so we were networking and sharing each other's inspirational posts, you know, the memes, things like that. And then I was sitting at my kitchen table again, when you're hit with these moments of inspiration, when you go quiet and you listen, you know, it's amazing what messages you receive. And I was sitting on my kitchen table in Portugal in 2013 September 2013 and something told me, you know, there needs to be a place where people who are changing the world need to come as a community, and you're the one to build it. And I was like, Okay, not too big of an ask. I'm like, All right, so I kind of held to myself for a couple of months, and then I went out to one of my friends, Teresa. She ran this, this page called on the road to me, I believe it was, and I told her first, and I got her input, because she was very wise and she was a good friend, and she's like, Oh my gosh, it sounds like such a great idea. And I said, okay, so Well, since that was the cat was let out of the bag, I'm gonna move forward with this. I went to my husband, I said, Look at this, what I'm thinking of doing. Are you behind me on this? Because basically, when I moved to Portugal, he was like, you don't have to work. You don't have to do anything. You just, you know, you just hang out and you do what you want to do. And I was like, Okay, well, I can't not work. I mean, I have an entrepreneurial spirit. I cannot not work. So aside from the the the jewelry collection, which was slow, I mean, the the it was a slow business, so the inspirational side of me really took over. And this building, the wellness universe, was the next project on my agenda. And through 2014 we started growing a Facebook group of practitioners and people who and hobbyist as well. And then in 2015 we launched the first version of the platform, and it was, you know, self funded, membership supported. And so from 2015 january 2015 we've been growing the wellness universe every year. And now it's a basically, it's a directory of practitioners, wellness practitioners, and people who are making the work. A better place. So anyone go and find them through the wellness universe.com but we also have amazing classes and courses. The practitioners who are part of membership are able to host their classes and courses on our platform, the lounge, the wellness universe lounge. But also we work in partnership with those that we know, love and trust to help them also amplify their message through a program, what we call wellness for all and wellness for all programs on the platform are all free to join in donations supported by people who are seeking those courses and classes. And we have a blog, and like you mentioned, we have the books, the four books that we've published with over 65 people that we've created into best selling authors, because some of them have repeated through some of the books. So that's why it's not 100 authors, 25 chapters per book with 25 different authors. And now we've launched wellness universe corporate, and so we are actually delivering wellness solutions through a company culture lens of analyzing, going in and assessing an organization on what their needs are and their culture, through their culture, and then bringing in wellness components to shore up those gaps, while we have the buy in from the leadership, letting everyone know, hey, based on, you know, the assessment the organization, this is what you need, and we're bringing this in. So that's kind of like the very condensed version of the wellness universe, and wellness universe corporate division. And I'm really, really honored and blessed to have worked with some of the most transformational people in the world, like our friend Sharon, and bringing wellness to to places that it may have not been before, and bringing the conversation to stages and and rooms and boardrooms and classrooms and retreats and things like that that may not have experienced it before, which is really, that really, I find is the most fun when I when I bring something to someone and they never heard of it before, like EFT or muscle testing or, you know, you know, you know, you know, trauma informed, you know, sessions, stress management sessions, you Know, Like, what like that really has been so rewarding when people at the end of the day are like, you know, I learned from you last week, or what I read or whatever, or the person that you brought to me or to my organization, and it truly has transformed my life. I found, I found. I just got a story the other day from a woman who read our books, and from reading the stress relief book, she's like, you know, after reading this book, I had, I found the self love to go and get a surgery on my foot that I've been putting off because I feel I was worth the investment of the surgery to relieve myself of this pain. But then I did it after reading your book, and I was like, I literally was in tears. And of course, Michael, as you know, as an author, how often do we actually hear those stories that are so rewarding from the people you know? How do you feel about that? By the way, let me ask you questions. I know that. I know that you're interviewing me, but   Michael Hingson ** 43:20 how it's a conversation. It's fair.   Anna Pereira ** 43:23 Thank you. How great is it when somebody comes back to you and says, Your story has changed my life?   Michael Hingson ** 43:33 Well, let me tell you one of my stories. So the answer is great, of course, but I also know that I can't let that kind of thing go to my head. But let me tell you one of my favorite stories. I've talked about it a couple times here. In 2003 I was asked to go to New Zealand, so as basically a year, and it was about 1516, months, no, 14 months after September 11, and 16 months, I guess. And anyway, I was asked to go and help to raise some funds for the Royal New Zealand foundation of the blind by speaking. And they paid me to come over. And before I had had come over in, actually, early 2002 a gentleman from New Zealand called he said his name was Paul Holmes, and he wanted to interview me. Well, he came, what I learned was to to do an equivalent sort of thing. He is, what you would say would be the Larry King of New Zealand, so very famous and all that. Well, anyway, he came and we chatted and all that. And he said, If you ever get to New Zealand, I want to interview you first before you go anywhere else and talk to anybody else. And I said, Okay, had no idea that anything was going to happen about going to New Zealand. But then the next year. Early in 2003 I was invited, and we set up the trip to go over in early May. So needless to say, being a loyal kind of guy, I emailed Paul Holmes and said, hey, guess what, we're coming over. So we got there on a Wednesday, and he had arranged for the interview to be done that night, New Zealand time at seven o'clock. So we went and did the interview, and the Royal New Zealand Foundation had me traveling all over New Zealand for basically 16 or 17 days. We did 21 different stops, both by flying and by car and all that, in 16 or 17 days. But anyway, so we did the interview and a week and a half later. So it was the second Sunday I was in New Zealand. Now we were on the South Island. We had landed originally on the North Island. Now we're on the South Island. And I was speaking to a group of blind people, and I they wanted to know all about the World Trade Center and all that. And I told them, and then one of them said, we have to tell you a story. And his story went on something like this yesterday. That would have been a Saturday. We took a river rafting trip, and the foundation set it up. These are all clients from the foundation, and said they set it up, and the guy who was in charge of the trip took us out, and we all had a great time. It was wonderful. But at the end, he said, I have to be honest with you guys, I was about to cancel this trip. And I said, why? Or No, I didn't say, I mean, they said, why? And he said, well, because he said I didn't think that blind people could do this. He said I was just all afraid that the next thing that was going to happen by the end of the trip is at least one person was going to fall overboard and drown. But he said, I happened to be watching the telly the other night, and I saw Paul Holmes interview this blind bloke from the United States who was in the World Trade Center. And he said, if he could get out of the World Trade Center, the least I could do was have an open mind about you guys going on this trip. And he said, it has been the best trip I have ever had. Wow. So, you know, I, of course, there was a lot of pride. I love the story, and I know I've taken a fair amount of time to tell the story, but the point is, you never know what seeds you're going to plant. And the bottom line is that my goal in speaking has always been if I can help even one person learn something and inspire one person. I've already done my job. And more important, I've decided a long time ago, if I could help people move on from September 11, and I've done my job, but what a what a great story. And yeah, it has inspired me a lot, and it's one of the stories that continues to propel me forward, knowing that if I can help people and get them to understand about being blind a little bit more and and accepting of people who are different than they then, then it's working out really well. Michael,   Anna Pereira ** 48:22 I am so glad that you shared that story with me, and that is really that speaks the truth and the power of showing up and sharing who you are and impacting someone where they impact the many. Wow. Can you imagine if that guide had called off that trip and didn't give the opportunity, sure people, I'm sure, I'm sure, probably many was their first time. I don't even think river rafting. Oh my gosh, that's great. Thank you for sharing that.   Michael Hingson ** 48:55 It was great. I haven't either. I've been on boats, I've been on cruises, but I haven't gone river rafting, so it's something to do someday. Yeah, well, let me ask you this. You know you talked earlier, especially about your husband and in relationships and networking and so on, networking is certainly a very important thing. So relationships are really essential to having success. Tell me what you think about the whole idea and the intersection of having a relationship and building relationships, especially authentic relationships and success.   Anna Pereira ** 49:37 Michael, I've been talking a lot about this lately. To be honest with you. We were even talking about this last night, the new company that we're forming, we're actually putting together a very strategic team on the back side, and some of those people are new in my world. And one of the people happened to be this gentleman that was introduced to me by my partner. And. Founder of the wellness universe Corp. And his name is Jack, and I've met him online, virtually, you know, on Zoom calls, over several calls, I'm very confident, very comfortable with him. And I really, I really admire him and the work he's done in his life and what he's achieved. So he's already proven that he has been able to create successful businesses, manage successful businesses, exit successful businesses, and things of this nature. So none of that was was was why I wanted to meet with him, but I found out that he was because he lives kind of in the middle of the middle of the country, lives in Milwaukee, so he was coming out to New York and to Connecticut, actually, to for his current company that he's at, to be a part of a conference. And so with that, I'm like, Oh, you're coming out here, Hugo and I are going to be home. I want to come out. I want to meet with you. And what's interesting is he disclosed to me last night that I'm not going to use the words he says, But he said, like when I asked him to meet up in person, you know, he gets off the call with me, and he turns his wave. He's like, you know, what is Anna? Want to bleep and beat me for? And it was so funny to hear him say that last night, because for me, it's about making that authentic connection and meeting someone in person, if I have the opportunity to which I do and investing, knowing that you're investing in a bigger, a bigger project, building a company together, you know, it's, it's not transactional, it's about, it's about a bigger thing and and so I couldn't understand why he felt that when he when he said this To me last night. But then he said, I understand now, like, and I get it like, I get that. I get who you are, and I see who you are, and I see that you just wanted to just meet up, just to see who you know who I am, and for me to see who you are. I said, That's it, Jack. Because his immediate response, as you know, a man who's white in the business world. He felt that probably I was Troy. I wanted to kind of, quote, unquote, interview him in person after all of these months of working with him, you know, remotely, with alongside with him, on through us, building this new team together. But for me, it was all about beginning the foundation to nurturing a relationship that we've had many meetings, many strategy sessions, many of the do, do do phone calls and the what's what phone calls. But I wanted to sit down with this gentleman and have a break bread with him, see what he's about, him to see what I'm about, what my husband's about, and I truly believe, and I say this over and over and over again, and quite unfortunately, because of my position as the founder of the wellness universe, people see the wellness universe as a bright, shiny object. They see me as somebody in a place of power that I can just give stuff out or help them, give them a hand up, but it's it's not always that. It's still the same thing. Relationships need to be nurtured. I need to get to know someone if they're going to represent the brand of the wellness universe and work with us through wellness universe corporate, for example, or they're going to be a member, I have to see who they are in action that's helping me to nurture the relationship so I can work with them and bring opportunity to them, as well as you saw, Michael, as soon as I am completely networking relationship minded, I am all about giving opportunity and sharing the spotlight and giving the microphone over to people who are talented, just as you said before. It reminded me of Karen Korb, you know, I would love to introduce you to her, for her to be a guest because of a specific topic that was struck up while we were having conversation. This is just who I am. I do believe that networking has a bad name. And if you believe in the networking, like from the early days, and it's just about exchanging business cards, which of course, nobody even has anymore, but I mean, you know what I mean, I have one too, by the way. But if you just think it's about showing up and shaking as many hands as possible, and then, like just vomiting all over somebody what you do and how great you are at it, you're never going to get far in business these days, it's about building, nurturing those relationships and sharing and listening to what someone needs and sharing with them whether you're a resource for that need or not, and chances are 99% of the time, you're really not. But by giving them something that they need, they're going to remember you, and you've just created yourself as a value in their life. So by creating yourself as a value in their. Life, you're still nurturing the relationship. It may not have created a business transaction in the moment, but guess what? You're starting to nurture a relationship that will lead to business growth, that will lead to personal growth. I like to approach things that like you said before, if you don't, it was, well, you didn't say this, but it was part of the conversation, in a way, I think was before we started. You know, if I don't like the person, why would I want to do business with them? And I look at every, every person that I come into contact with, like, do I like this human? Am I trying to show up as my best self for them to like me as a human? And then we'll see where the chips fall around that, yeah, and that. That's kind of my whole philosophy around networking and building relationships.   Michael Hingson ** 55:44 Well, you know, one of the things that I encounter a lot when I'm talking to people about coming on the podcast is, well, I don't, I don't see why I would be an interesting guest. Why do you want me to have Why do you want to have me as a guest on the podcast? I don't have anything in the way of a famous story or anything to tell. And I, I love to tell people, Look, everyone has stories to tell. And the fact is that if you're willing to come on and talk about things and and as you know, I really want to cover the topics that you as a as a person, coming on as a guest, want to talk about, but we do have a conversation, and I do like to encourage everyone to come and tell stories, because I've yet to find people who don't have a story to tell, and I believe everyone does. Everyone's adventures in life is a little bit different than everyone else's, which makes the telling of the story worthwhile.   Anna Pereira ** 56:47 Agreed? Oh, agreed.   Michael Hingson ** 56:51 So with the wellness universe, Corp and so on. Tell me a little bit more, if you would, about wellness and how that plays into company culture,   Anna Pereira ** 57:05 absolutely well. I want to thank you for that. I mean, a few years ago, somebody else was because I was in the throes of my initial co founder, exiting the company and pivoting in some great way, and I didn't know really what was going to be. And at the same time, someone approached me, they wanted to create, you know, corporate wellness solution with me, and that started and fizzled out. And then I brought on somebody else that was going to do that with me. And then that started up and fizzled out. So over the past several years, I've been looking for the proper strategic partner that created a holistic approach to the well being of an organization so we can really create impact. Because all of these years, I've been building the community. I quite honestly, have had 1000s of members come through the wellness universe. Right now, we have a little over 100 and something, enrolled members, active members, people who have a membership and pay a membership and have a public platform through the wellness universe that we work with. But there's been 1000s that have come through. And I really wanted to find a way to work with the people I know trust and love, because they have something, something so great to offer the world. And it wasn't just about creating a wellness app or just the wellness component. There had to be something else that we can sink our teeth into. And also allowed an organization to really get behind because what happens is they bring in a wellness app because it's nice to have, and I'm doing air quotes right now, it's nice to have a wellness app, and then the truth behind it is, for a wellness app, the success rate is to have, you know, 4% is the highest engagement on with a wellness app, and that's their success rate. So nobody really uses that. They the wellness apps, and nor do I find it like a sustainable or something that's part of the person to go to through, through their you know, through their work. But if you go into an organization and you do an assessment around what's going on in the company, and you have that buy in from leadership, because they can see exactly where the breakdowns are and where the successes are. And then you bring in the solutions to reinforce the successes and also shore up where they have the challenges, and then you bring in wellness as a component for for the retention of the employee, for the happiness and health of the employees as individuals, then you have an ecosystem that creates success for the entire organization. And. Coming back down to the individual. So it's really important to find this way to holistically serve and it's a delicate balance, because sometimes it's going to create disruption and the changes that need to be implemented, but you have to have buy in from the leadership, and you have to show them this is exactly why you need it, and that's why the company culture, and addressing that through the assessment that we have is really essential to bringing in the different solutions we have, from the corporate trainings and things like that, to the wellness experience, the wellness experiences and stress management type of classes and courses and things. So for me, it was an evolution and a learning curve over the last four years. I think it took for me to find the proper partner, Alex Bowdoin and people first is her company, and that's where she comes from as a HR consultant, expert, and coming together with the wellness universe, and knowing what I know in the people experience, along with the evaluating the practitioners for what they do and how they serve to give a great experience to a wellness seeker, and then merging the two worlds together with the technology and the platforms and the solutions that we bring so then, that way, it's a really in depth, and I want to say all encompassing solution for an organization, for everyone to walk away, go home and feel good at the end of the day, and come back to work more and be more productive and happy in what they do, and know that they are, that they're supported by their organization, for an organization to be proud to bring these solutions to their employees, knowing that they're bringing something that they actually will use,   Michael Hingson ** 1:01:55 and that's really all anyone can ask For. They will do that and make it work. And think about it, they'll be more successful by any standard in the world. I would think   1:02:10 we would hope Yes. So if people want   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:12 to reach out to you and learn more about wellness universe and maybe contact you and become a part of it, how do they do that? Sure, so   Anna Pereira ** 1:02:21 my email is so simple. It's Anna a n, n, a at the Wellness universe, typical spellings, the wellness universe.com, they can reach out to me there, or they can go right to the wellness universe, which is the wellness universe.com, and connect with me there, or on any of my social platforms. I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. I'm very excited to be a top voice in leadership on the platform, and they can connect on LinkedIn as well by searching. Anna Pereira, you'll see me come up. But I think those are probably the best ways to connect with me. There's, you know, there's Facebook and Instagram and things like that, but if you really want to reach me, I check these platforms, my email, and I check my LinkedIn and my wellness universe. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:12 there you go. Well, I hope people will reach out. This has been fun. It's been exciting, and what a great conversation. I'm glad that we did it and we finally got connected. And thanks, Sharon. Thanks, Sharon, for me, and I hope all of you have enjoyed this as well. So love to hear from you. Love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to email me. I'm easy to reach. It's Michael M, I, C, H, A, E, L, H, I at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S, I, B, e.com, or you can go to our podcast page, www, dot Michael hingson.com/podcast, and Michael Hinkson is m, I, C, H, A, E, L, H, I, N, G, s, o, n, so as I said earlier, love it. If you have any ideas for guests, we really appreciate and value any introductions that you can make. And Anna, we didn't mention it and much, but that's okay. I do. I'm really ramping up speaking again. So if anybody knows of anyone that needs a speaker, love to explore that and and we'll always be glad to talk to people about coming and speaking. If you would please give us a five star rating wherever you're listening to us today, we really value your ratings and your thoughts, and of course, I want to hear your opinion, so please let us know. So thank you once again, everyone for listening. And Anna, specifically for you, thanks again for being here and for being on the podcast. Thank   Anna Pereira ** 1:04:34 you, Michael. I really appreciate the time with you.   Michael Hingson ** 1:04:41 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.

Abigail, (Abby), Stason is all that. Abby grew up in New Jersey and eventually served in a 20-year career with Wall Street firms including Meryl Lynch. She was a sales leader and worked to train and supervise brokers.   Eventually, she decided to leave the financial world and begin her own company, Abigail Stason LLC., to teach people about skill building and authenticity. Today she works with individuals, teams and companies to help them become more authentic and truer to what they do.   Abby and I get to have a good conversation all about authenticity and truth. We discuss the many complexities around truth and authentic behavior that we face today. At one point I ask Abby if she feels that our world regarding truth and being authentic is more complex today than in the past. Her answer is quite interesting. Listen and see what you think.   About the Guest:   Abigail “Abby” Stason (she/her/hers) is a master teacher and skill builder. A former Wall Street executive, in 2010, Abby left a 19-year career to become an entrepreneur. She is passionate about championing equality and human development. Abby uses neuroscience to convert abstract learning concepts into pragmatic practices that apply in our day-to-day world.   Abby equips human beings and leaders with behavioral skills for a modern world and global gig economy. Abby is the author of Evolution Revolution: Conscious Leadership In An Information Age, a handbook of human and leadership development skills that she converted to e-learning programs. Her mission is to be an exceptional partner to the human race and planet and to facilitate global consciousness.   Abby enjoys the outdoors in all forms: hiking, cycling, snowshoeing, and swimming. You will find her strolling through a farmers' market for fresh produce to experiment with new recipes or at a coffee shop enjoying a matcha latte. She also volunteers for her teacher's foundation, the Gangaji Foundation Prison Program.   Ways to connect with Abigail:   https://abigailstason.com https://consciousleadership.online/home https://www.linkedin.com/in/abigailstason/   About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, welcome once again to unstoppable mindset where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. And from my perspective, the unexpected part is what makes it the most fun. We get to do all sorts of unexpected things from time to time, and we'll see what happens with our guest this week, Abby Stason, who is a master teacher and is very much involved in dealing with the world of humanity and being very concerned about people, and I don't want to give any more away, because I think it'll be a whole lot more fun to hear it from her. So, Abby, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're glad you're here.   Abby Stason ** 01:57 Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here, and you know, I just lit up. Also when you said unexpected, the unexpected happens when we're inclusive and we don't know what's going to happen, and that's where the interesting stuff happens. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 02:11 that's what makes it the most fun. I love telling a story about one person that was on our podcast a long time ago now, gosh, almost two years ago, he was a software engineer, and he lives in Southern California, in an area called Dana Point loves to swim in the ocean. And he, while we were talking, talked about the fact that he went in the ocean once in the winter, and he decided after that that he was going to swim every every chance he got in the ocean, whether it was winter or summer. And I asked him about being afraid in the in the winter, and he said, Well, it was a little bit daunting. The first time I went into the water, it was 55 degrees. And he said, I noticed that the closer I got to the water, the slower I moved, and I wasn't sure I wanted to do this. And then he finally just said, I'm going to bite the bullet and do it. And he jumped in. He said it was only a couple seconds. He was used to it, and he's been swimming in the water, even in the winter without a wetsuit, ever since, and he swum nose to nose with dolphins and other things like that. So he's had a lot of fun doing it, but then that led to a 10 minute discussion between us on the whole subject of fear, which is not anything that either of us anticipated talking about. So the unexpected is definitely a part of what we   Abby Stason ** 03:34 do. Yeah, and I applaud him. I would need a wetsuit to do that, yeah, to overcome my fear. I need a wet suit. And you know, I appreciate you always in the discussions we've had and how you hold it, this is an inclusion and diversity can be a heavy topic, but I appreciate how you hold it lightly. And you know, let's have some fun, because if we take it all too seriously, that's when we get a little bit in our own ways.   Michael Hingson ** 04:02 Well, yeah, I think the problem also is that people take it, I won't say way too seriously, but they take it in a way where it ends up really being much more divisive or non inclusive, or less diverse. I just had a conversation with someone who is a guest on our podcast, and we were talking about disabilities, and I said the biggest problem that I see is that people with disabilities are not really included in the conversation in so many different ways. We we we don't talk about disabilities, we don't talk about people with disabilities, and we're left out. And I've said, I said to him, one of the things that I've heard from a few people who have been on experts on diversity, is, but disability is it starts with this. It's not you're it is not the same. I. Yeah, and my point is, disability exactly is the same, because every single person on the planet has a disability, and reality is so disability starts with dis, so does disciple, so does discrete, so does discern, and yet we don't regard those in a negative context. So the reality is, we can re evaluate and change how we view some of the words that we use. And as I've indicated to people on this podcast as well, every person on the planet has a disability, and I can make that case very, very well. We won't spend a lot of time on that here, but I could make that case and point out that everyone has a disability of some sort.   Abby Stason ** 05:40 I would echo that. That, yeah, that's, that's well said, Actually, and I'm pretty appreciating what I'm learning already, of course. But yeah, you know, agreed. And can we just see each other as humans? Just we're all humans. Disability   Michael Hingson ** 05:56 really needs to be viewed as not some thing that a few people have that makes them less than us, but disability is a characteristic that manifests itself differently, but for everyone you know, and the argument that I make is most all of you are light dependent, and from my perspective, that makes you awfully disabled compared to me, because I don't have to worry about whether the lights are on and, and the reality is, though, that your disability is covered up by light bulbs and by so many other ways that light on demand is made available today and, and that's fine, but don't knock the rest of us just because We don't happen to have the problem that you do when you think that you're superior, because you can go turn a flashlight on, or start a flashlight on a phone if, if power goes out, that works only if you have the device. And so your devices cover up your disability, but doesn't change the fact that it's there. Yeah, and,   Abby Stason ** 07:00 and, you know, society tries to tell us what ability or disability is. What if we just flip those? Yeah, you know, what if we what if we just flip those? Because that's where we have to get past societal conditioning. Who, who decides who to say, who's disabled or not? I mean, yeah, we're all human beings, if we can look past the surface to see that we have, you know, we're all the same. And, yeah, to get past societal conditioning on who we say is better than less than or what the expectations are, you know, and how we set up our lives and systems around that. I think it's a it's a good inquiry and a good investigation, and something for us all to continue to talk about and to bring to light.   Michael Hingson ** 07:49 Yeah, I think it is something that's very important to do, and hopefully more of us will do it over time. Well,   Abby Stason ** 07:55 that's why you know what you're up to is so important, and you inviting me into this discussion and others into the discussion you're leading away with it. So I appreciate being here, and I'm proud to be sitting here next to you over technology. Well, thank   Michael Hingson ** 08:10 you. It's good to have this opportunity and get a chance to visit. Tell me a little bit about the early Abbey, growing up and all that stuff.   Abby Stason ** 08:18 Yeah, the early Abbey, the early Abbey. That'd   Michael Hingson ** 08:21 be a great TV that's a great title for a TV or radio show, the early Abbey. I was watching on I was watching on TV, looking at a guide, and there was a show, and my wife and I used to watch it, The New Adventures of Old Christine. So we can talk about the early Abbey.   Abby Stason ** 08:40 The early Abby, there's a bit of, you know, it's a bit of excitement, a bit of drama, a bit of sadness, but, you know, I was born and raised, am I going to go through my entire life to end here? Whatever   Michael Hingson ** 08:51 you'd like to Yeah, yeah,   Abby Stason ** 08:53 I was born and raised in New Jersey, and you know, where, very early age, where I knew that, you know, one thing that I always loved is the truth. I loved hearing the truth no matter what it is, whether it's, you know, I'll use these words, good, bad, or whatever. But I love the truth. And I noticed that people around me didn't love the truth. So I at, you know, at times I kind of, you know, I was active, I had a healthy life, and all that. But one thing that in throughout my lifetime, which I'm bringing this up, because it brings me to today, is that I was penalized for telling the truth. It wasn't popular for telling the truth, you know, and and I really struggled with that. I mean, I'm a privileged person, and I always, yeah, I always had an internal disconnect with that. But I love the truth no matter what it is. And I find myself today now just getting very excited about the truth, the truth in myself. You know, when I screw things up to the truth and what's happening anywhere to the truth around inclusion? And diversity? Yeah, so it was pretty, I pretty, pretty much compacted myself and didn't align with who I was, because it wasn't always comfortable to tell the truth. Because, you know, to, you know, I'm LGBTQ, I'm a woman's you know, if you're in a environment where being a female, you're suppressed, and you try to tell the truth about what you want, or if you try to tell the truth that you're in love with someone of the same sex, you know, that was penalized. So I really struggled as a youth trying to tell the truth. And so today we come full circle. I'm just, you know the truth is it for me, I'm, you know, I love the truth. So you know, admitting when I make mistakes, and telling the truth about that to the truth of what's happening in the world, or any of it, and not calling it, any of it, good, bad, right, wrong, you know. And I spent, you know, 20 years on Wall Street, and you can imagine truth telling, talk about truth Yeah, you know, or lack thereof, yeah, right. Truth telling in Wall Street was, was something of a, you know, yeah, kind of like avoiding the truth a little bit the corporate world can be, you know, lifted to an art form, you know what I mean. So that's why I always kind of grappled with that. And, you know, and that's one of the reasons I left was to, you know, really start telling the truth. And what it comes down to is being more conscious. In essence,   Michael Hingson ** 11:27 where in New Jersey are you from?   Abby Stason ** 11:29 I am from, you know, a very small town. Everyone says Now everyone I'm listening on this is probably she doesn't have an accent, although some people will pick up sliced trace, traces of so I can hear a little, yeah, I was just gonna say you're probably picking up on it. I'm from a very small town in Warren County New Jersey called Belvidere. Okay, right on the Delaware River, right? Yeah, okay. I lived   Michael Hingson ** 11:51 in, I lived in Westfield for six years. Oh, great, yeah.   Abby Stason ** 11:54 So Westfield, so, you know, you know, you know Belvedere, and you know some people, it's not like Newark for the viewers listening, and it's the farmland of New Jersey. And, you know, we used to go sleigh riding, and lakes would freeze over. We'd go ice skating and all that. We never locked the doors. Went to the shore every year.   Michael Hingson ** 12:15 What's, what's really funny about Westfield for me is that before we moved there, we had selected property and then chose to build a house, because my wife was in a wheelchair her whole life, and so we chose to build a house, because if you build a house, it really doesn't cost a lot more for access than it does just to build the house. If you buy a house and modify it, it costs a bunch of money. Yeah, the the only, the only extra expense we had was that it had to be a two story house, because that's what the development had. So we did spend 15,000 extra dollars in the construction of the house to put it in elevator. But beyond that, you know, it didn't cost more. But still, when we were once, we selected the property and we were back in California telling people where we were going to live and all that. I had never heard of Westfield before we went there. But I was amazed at the number of people who knew about Westfield New Jersey here in California.   Abby Stason ** 13:12 Well, so I so when it then fast forward. I was working in lower Manhattan, you know, after 911 which, you know, obviously, yeah, so I lived in Summit, New Jersey, Ah, okay, but yeah, so I lived in Summit, took the train to Hoboken and then took the ferry over to the ferry, yeah, her open edge center, yeah. What?   Michael Hingson ** 13:33 What did you do on Wall Street?   Abby Stason ** 13:37 I was in sales leadership, you know, basically in charge of brokers, if you will. You know, help, you know, supporting them, hiring, firing, you know, helping clients with issues, anything you can imagine. So   Michael Hingson ** 13:52 you must have had a lot of fun dealing with people and the truth from time to time.   Abby Stason ** 13:58 Well, you know, yeah, you know was, it was, so you everyone's gonna on the call, will probably stereotype me a little bit, and being on Wall Street, and that's quite all right, because it's, it's the stereotyping is a little bit. But, you know, it's an exciting industry, yeah, it's got a little bit of its warts on it. You know, one of the things that was really tough was being a woman. So I left Wall Street in 2010 so, you know, it was 19 years on Wall Street. It was pretty tough to be consistently the only woman in the room. So I really had to take care of myself. And, you know, meet kind of the challenges that came with that sometimes It'd be my meeting and I'd be asked to get coffee because I'm the female, or I'd be asked to take notes because I'm the female, you know. So that got a little bit tiring, but I never became a victim of that. Victim, any of us in an underrepresented group of any kind. It's easy to go to victim, but I chose not to do that.   Michael Hingson ** 14:58 That's really the issue. Is. And it's a matter of, are you going to be a victim or not? And that's of course, what happens so often, is that that we seem to learn to be a victim, rather than recognizing that we don't need to be. We discover, for all too often, that people just decide to be a victim and they don't need to be a victim.   Abby Stason ** 15:22 Yeah, you know, it's because you, because we, you, we are a little bit victims. But there's, there's an essence of going for victimhood, you know, unnecessarily. So it's, rather than whining about it, it's understanding that this is the reality that I live in. And so how can I meet this. How can I take care of myself? You know, how can I respond with ability versus reacting, you know? And, you know, bringing in other underrepresented groups, I mean, certainly you come across that same type of we just talked about disabled people and, you know, there's black people and, you know, underrepresented groups, it's easy to go to victim but I encourage people, and I never got victim me about it. It's just like this is a reality I live in. What can I do and how can I spark a greater discussion? Are people available for a different discussion around this? If not? Okay, but just keep going.   Michael Hingson ** 16:18 Well, it gets back to the whole thing we talked about earlier, about disabilities and so on, because so many people, like people who are blind, specifically people who become blind later in life, grow up sighted and in an environment that says you're not whole if you can't fully see. And all too often, they end up being victims or view themselves as victims and don't recognize that. Okay? So they're still traveling down the road of life, maybe in a different lane, but you're still going down the road of life, and you can learn to do and choose to do all the things that you could do before. It's very rare that there isn't something that a person who is blind can't do, that a person with eyesight can. Yeah, probably blind people aren't most likely going to be football players. However, being football strategists is another story, yes, and and so sometimes exactly what we do changes. But on the other hand, like I said, the whole issue of light dependence, I'll, I'll put my ability to understand a lot of my surroundings up against what most people can or or don't do in terms of understanding their surroundings, because people don't learn to really observe, whereas it's part of my way of life.   Abby Stason ** 17:47 Yes, and it's an opportunity to to ask, How can I cultivate resilience? You know, if I can use a such any situation to strengthen my resilience, then that's, you know, you know, talk about having fun, you know, it's, you know, I'm not making light of any situation. But if I can cultivate more resilience and learn, it's a you know, I matured really quickly. You know what I mean? You know, I grew up really quickly, which was delightful, right? It was delightful. And, you know, I want to say too, that working on Wall Street as a leader was extremely satisfying from the front. So people are people are people. So one of the things I love doing is human development, so I got to do that a lot on Wall Street. So I was really pleased with my ability to impact people's lives, even on Wall Street well.   Michael Hingson ** 18:40 And the reality is that the people on Wall Street, by and large, were very intelligent, very creative, very bright people, and had some real challenges and pressures to live up to in order to do the things that they do. So I can understand where the environment developed from, although, as you point out, the issue of getting people to grow and recognizing that a female can can do things as well is, is something that some people accept and some people don't. But that's not just Wall Street that, unfortunately, is a guy thing that has to change. Well,   Abby Stason ** 19:19 I think it's, it is, yeah, it's a guy thing, and it's, you know, we all can change to see, you know, we are just human beings. Because actually, gender and race are just social constructs. Actually, a lot of the social conditioning that comes with anything that we stereotype has a lot of baggage to it. Can have baggage, and we're not align with ourselves, and we're trying to fit into society's mold. And conditioning is useful, but if left uninvestigated, yeah, you know, it's, you know, it's not as much fun, no, right? Because, like, we can see this wants to change, but yet we keep doing the same thing, and that's just stuck, stuck. Yes,   Michael Hingson ** 20:00 I was watching a commercial last night about, well, this woman comes on and she's talking about Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in baseball, but he was not the first baseball player of color, if you will. And talked about the Negro League and that, there's a whole podcast about that now, which I haven't listened to yet, but I can relate to being different than most people. And also, I'm well aware of the Negro League, which it was called, and and appreciate it and look forward to learning more about it, because I believe talent is talent, wherever it comes from.   Abby Stason ** 20:39 Yeah. And this notion of, you know, can I be true to myself, no matter what? You know, can I be really true to myself, you know, with who I am, and can I be real no matter what? And in some places, to be real means I will scare the heck out of people, you know, again, for the biases, you know, if I show up as a strong female, that's the success, like ability bias is negative for women and positive for men. So then I start scaring people. So then I need to stay conscious to that, to see how I'm being received, and where's the conversation headed, and how can we connect beyond Yeah, how   Michael Hingson ** 21:18 do we help people grow?   Abby Stason ** 21:19 Yeah, that's right, it's an opposite opportunity that's really well said. It's an opportunity to stretch and grow.   Michael Hingson ** 21:24 So what did you do after you left Wall Street?   Abby Stason ** 21:27 Well, so I, you know, and going back to what I was saying, what I love doing was, you know, I got results because you want to, you know, you want to have positive results and disciplined business practices, takes care of the day to day. But what I really loved doing was leading and developing people, mentoring, coaching, developing human beings. You know, I have no problem developing someone younger than me, them going off to be a CEO and work for them. So I decided to follow that passion. I was in the Bay Area. Wanted to stay, so I leapt, you know, took the leap. I leapt off the cliff, then started my own practice of basically teach us more of a teacher than a coach. I basically teach people skills around everything we're talking about. You talked about fear earlier, etc, but that's really satisfying for me, because that's what I love to do. I consider myself a Constant Learner.   Michael Hingson ** 22:22 And where do you live today?   Abby Stason ** 22:24 Now, I live in Oregon. Okay, I'm in Southern Oregon, so that's   Michael Hingson ** 22:29 a little bit away from Wall Street. Yes, it's a long walk, but that's okay. So you and what does your business do today?   Abby Stason ** 22:46 Yeah, so basically, I teach people skills, you know, I do one on one sessions. I do team workshops. I do I help companies with their cultures and team workshops. I have an E learning platform. I have a whole curriculum that I teach people skills, specifically skills to navigate the human condition you were just talking about. And I read, or, excuse me, listen to that podcast about the gentleman at Dana. Point is really interesting. So like him, you know, overcoming his fear? Well, we have fear throughout the day, so fear is a big driver of our behavior. So that's something that I teach, is how to overcome fear. And you know, in short, I'm sharing my journey for my own development, my own human development. Here's what I've learned, here's the skill I've learned, and here's what worked for me. And also I clients kept asking me questions, how do I do this? How do I do that? So finally, one client said, you know, I want, I don't want another catch phrase. I want frameworks. I want skills. I'm like, You got it here. I am well.   Michael Hingson ** 23:46 And the fact is that if you really look at fear, most things that we fear or are afraid of never come to the light of day. They're not they're not real. We are. We're really good at creating fear out of nothing and and it really is nothing, and we we don't step back enough, or we don't learn, as I describe it, how not to be blinded by fear, especially when it's unexpected things that come up that can really be perilous. We really, those are the times that we really need to keep our wits about us. And the reality is, we can do that. Yeah,   Abby Stason ** 24:26 yes, and you're right. Wait the human. You know, humans are wacky, wackiest species on the planet. We are great, and we are the wackiest. I put myself at the top of the list. I mean, we will, you know, this is the mind body connection. We will actually create a fear response in our physiology based on some story we're telling ourselves. Yeah, we we know this scientifically. So it's like, why would we ever do this? Like, I'm looking at you. You're in your home. I'm looking at me. I'm in my home. You know, we're both. Safe. There's no reason for us to be fear. We're to be fearful. You know, we get along great. But you know what we do is we make up stories in our head, and then we go into a real fear response, and then our behavior comes from that. We know why that is. It's exciting. We live in exciting times because we know now I get very excited. As you can tell, is we know now, as opposed to even 1015, 20 years ago, how our brains and our biology impact our behavior like it's it's no more a mystery to us, and we're going to get just continue to get more and more informed about that, including why we exclude people, and why we treat people of different colors or disabled people differently? So I think we're in an exciting time   Michael Hingson ** 25:46 well, and the reality is that a lot of the well, most of the time that we treat people differently is because we don't understand, and to some degree, or for some people, to a large degree, we don't want to understand. We don't want to be as, as people would say, confronted with the facts. Don't confuse me with the facts. That's what I believe. Is what I want to believe. And and there are issues with that that really should allow us to move beyond it and recognize that we all have gifts. As I've said, the thing is, disability does not mean a lack of ability, and disability is truly a characteristic that we all have that manifests itself in different ways for different people.   Abby Stason ** 26:37 Absolutely, and you know when we you know, when you see someone who's disabled, someone who's different than you, we immediately go into us. Our brains go into us versus them, and then we also assign all of the behaviors of those biases that we've been taught, whether they are accurate or not. So I'd love the reframe you were talking about earlier, about, you know, disabled people, they really have abilities, but we have stereotypes about disabled people. We have stereotypes about women, we have stereotypes about men, we have stereotypes from about blacks, any, you know, any of it. And it's all just this old wiring, which is which I find exciting, because we can actually rewire that.   Michael Hingson ** 27:24 Yep, unfortunately, we grow up learning one way to wire, and it is something that we can change and we should change. Yes, it's also a growth issue, because for years, people thought what they did about disability or people who have disabilities. And the fact is that as we evolve, hopefully we recognize that our own views are not really necessarily totally accurate, and we should change them and be a lot more inclusive than we tend to be. Yes,   Abby Stason ** 28:00 and that takes this is where conscious, you know, being conscious and aware of my self as I see someone who's different than me, requires me almost to stop and pause for a split second to interrupt any kind of conditioning that comes In. So this is where we can make more space for humanity, and I'm not. It doesn't mean slowing down. It just means stopping and saying, Okay, I'm looking at this person. What are the stories I have running? What are the biases I have running? And can I let those go and make different associations, or be open to actually get to know this person before I make any judgments about them, yeah, you know. So that interrupts the brain wiring, you know. And I love our brains. If we didn't have conditioning, we wouldn't be able to live, you know, if we didn't have social conditioning, you know, social conditioning is useful. For instance, we have stop signs and street lights and other norms that really help us get through our day to day. We wear uniforms. You know, imagine walking into a hospital and seeing everyone dressed like ranchers. I don't know. You know people. You know cowboys. You mean they're not right. You'd walk into the hospital and need treatment and be like, wait a minute, I'm not in the right place. And you would go into a fear response. That's why we have uniforms and some other norms. But when those norms keep us from really connecting is when it's problematic, and we're seeing that   Michael Hingson ** 29:34 well, this, this concept that you talk about and that you address regularly, about being real. What? What got you started down that road and deciding that that was a really important thing to do?   Abby Stason ** 29:49 Yeah, so it great question, you know this word authentic? I don't think people know what it means to be real or to be authentic. And if. If it's sometimes dangerous to be real or authentic. In some communities, you know, I'm thinking some places where women, if you want to be real and take off, you know, don't, not cover your face, that can be dangerous. You know, that's the extreme horn of it. But really it's aligning your your inner experience with your outer expression. It's knowing what your values are and standing for them. It's allow. It's aligning with your commitments in the world and who you want to be you know. So I don't think people know what it means to be authentic. It means to be, you know, exposed for the truth of who you are, but that, you know, context matters also. It's not in a vacuum. But I think it's helpful to know, really, what it means to be authentic. It means that that I'm not hiding myself from you. You know that I'm transparent. I don't walk up to someone and just say, Here's my life story. But right? You know, I think when we're authentic, we're revealing what, what wants to be revealed. When it wants to be revealed, we're not wearing some persona, some mask, you know, we are aligned with who we are. We know what our values are and stand for that. It's, you know. It's about, you know, being congruent, you know, living and leading or whatever in alignment with what you profess to stand for. So if I stick, you know, yeah, go ahead, are   Michael Hingson ** 31:28 we taught not to be authentic?   Abby Stason ** 31:32 Well, I, you know, I'll say the answer to that, I think, is yes. I mean, are we taught not to be authentic? I think we're taught. We're not taught anything. We kind of grow up and we inherit. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. We grow up and inherent crafts and values from our parents. And don't ever when we start to get to adulthood, really ask, Well, who am I? Am I? Are these just values of my parents? And, yeah, there's social pressures to act certain ways, so we adopt those, rather than saying, you know, do I want to adopt these? Am I working in the right place? You know, so are we? We're not taught, really. We're taught to go along, to get along. That's a lot of what we're taught to go along, to get along, at the expense of ourselves. And I'm not saying we should fight against everything, but I think there's an opportunity for us to, you know, be in the truth of who we are and align with our own values and what's true for us. And also, you know, the brain is wired to go along, to get along and lessen so that so it can be very fearful to go against what a group is saying. So that can be challenging for people, even though it might be healthier for whatever's happening.   Michael Hingson ** 32:57 But you know, the reason I asked about being taught it may or may not be volitional, but when I look at well, very frankly, look at politicians and how often they will deny something, they can be caught doing something or having done something, and sometimes that goes to extremes. Nowadays, you could do something 30 years ago and still be chastised for it and drummed out of the core, if you will. But the bottom line is that all too often, politicians will just deny with the hope that, well, if I push back hard enough, then people will believe it didn't really happen. And the result is that, in fact, they did something, and that teaching, or that activity, teaches so many others, especially kids growing up. Well, if they get away with it, why can't I? Yes,   Abby Stason ** 33:51 exactly. That's really well said. You know, politics is a great example of where you rarely hear the truth, you know, and also we're as humans. We're really not wired to speak fact to fact. I mean, we don't. We don't really speak fact to fact. In other words, we don't get on this zoom call and say you have headphones on. I don't, you know we don't. We just don't talk that way, like you have a gold shirt on I have a blue shirt on. That's not how we communicate as humans. The brain is wired to contextualize everything. That's okay, but then understanding that what comes out of my mouth is my opinion. It can be a judgment and intuition, and that's okay too, but we treat some of these things that we see on the news as facts when it's an opinion. So then you can take the opinion in and either agree or disagree with it, but we say that that's the truth well,   Michael Hingson ** 34:57 and sometimes you. We hear something say on TV that is an opinion, or it's not even a good opinion, because it clearly goes counter to reality and to facts, and yet people still say it, and if they don't get caught somehow, then it stands, and a lot of people call it gospel, and that's unfortunate, because what they're really counting on is that most of us don't ever go into an analytical mode where we really look at things and say, is that opinion? Is that true? I should really look into that for myself, right?   Abby Stason ** 35:42 And this is herein lies the suffering and the challenge of being a human being where, you know, to take responsibility for, am I treating that as truth? Am I investigating? Am I doing my own, you know, due diligence? No, I'm not saying we should go and all become scientists or anything like that, but certainly, you can tell an opinion when you hear it. But a lot of people, this is about being unconscious. You know, it's just, I'm not making anything good, bad, right, wrong, but there's consequences to not challenging anyone, and particularly our politicians and leaders, elected officials and anyone, and challenging each other to lift humanity into again, the truth and the facts of the matters and and also inviting people to say, hey, you know, that's not exactly true, but you know. Let's take a look at that. You know. But we consider things as truth, and then we take that and we then what, you know, and you're alluding to that, is that then we we take action based on something we think is true. Or   Michael Hingson ** 36:49 sometimes people will say, Well, you said that, but that's not what I have experienced or what I've observed, but that's but that's fair. It's fair to then have the discussion. Yes, and it may very well be that both sets of experiences are absolutely valid. And if you will, true, although it is so tempting to say you can't handle the truth, but we won't go there. That's that's a different movie.   Abby Stason ** 37:18 That was a good impression.   Michael Hingson ** 37:19 I actually was somewhere I cannot remember when it's been several years. I love, I love movies and lines, and I was talking with someone, and they said, Look, all I want from you is the truth. And I couldn't resist so I said that you can't handle the truth. And it really, it really busted up the whole atmosphere, and people were able to talk a whole lot more more seriously after that. Of course, there was another time I was somewhere and somebody said, Surely that's not the case. I said, Well, yes, it is. And don't call me Shirley, but, as I said, movies, but you know, from   Abby Stason ** 37:59 airplane, that's from airplane I'm tracking. I'm totally tracking.   Michael Hingson ** 38:05 Yeah, what can I say? I love to personally inject humor where I can, and I think that we take things so seriously sometimes. But the reality is, truth is important, and authenticity is important. And I guess I'd ask you, why is that's the case? Why is why should we really be authentic? Well,   Abby Stason ** 38:28 first of all, it's more satisfying on an individual level. So that when I'm aligned with who I am and I'm telling my truth, that is my experience and what's true for me, it's much more satisfying. Here's the other thing, you know, it avoids a lot of drama. You know, it opens up connection. It avoids drama. It takes away the blaming shaming. If we really make truth the primary goal, you know, then actually we have in the time we spend in drama and arguing, we have more time and space to enjoy ourselves. But it's, it's when we, when we don't tell the truth, our self esteem takes a hit. So right, when I'm not telling the truth and align with who I am and I'm not authentic with myself, you know, standing for what I you know, behaving a way that about what I profess to stand for, my self esteem takes a hit. Now, if my self esteem takes a hit, and we're all doing that, our collective self esteem takes a hit.   Michael Hingson ** 39:32 I also would submit that not telling the truth or not being truthful is stressful and it's a lot harder to do. Some people learn to do it very well, unfortunately. But it doesn't change the fact that in general, it's a lot harder to do, because you always have to worry about, am I going to be caught?   Abby Stason ** 39:55 Yep, spot on, and then I'm then, then it's like, okay. I lied, so then I have to cover up the lie, and then I Okay, so then I have to build on the lie. It's, it's a lot of unnecessary suffering, yeah. And the truth can be really inconvenient, you know, that's the other thing. The truth can be absolutely inconvenient. Oh, sure, you know. So. And then that might mean I have to rearrange some things in my life if I tell the truth, or, you know, if I, you know, this is the thing too. So here's the other thing is, society doesn't isn't compassionate. When we make we're all human beings, and we make mistakes, right? We do harm others and we make mistakes, but society is not forgiving or compassionate or doesn't make it cool to like, raise your hand and say, I really screwed this up. Here's what I did. I take responsibility. I want to clean this up, you know, and here's what I've learned. But instead, we blame and shame, and particularly in an era of social media and everything now visible, we just blame and slam anyway, you know, the cancel culture, so we don't make it easy to tell the truth about screwing up and then recovering from that, because I think there's a lot to learn when you know, even these politicians that make mistakes, or any of these high profile people, everybody makes mistakes, but we slam them and just try to blame and shame them and just annihilate them, instead of saying, Well, what, what happened? What was your experience when you were doing that? Or what? What have you learned? You know, where do you think that comes from? It Right? What's coming to mind? I'm going to say it just because it's here. Is the when Will Smith slapped rocket Oscars. And I'm thinking, what an opportunity to sit there and say, Okay, what happened? What did you learn? Instead, it just blew up into a ton of drama, yeah, you know. So we miss out on opportunities to grow our humanity by if anyone wants to tell the truth, it's it's hard because you'll get slammed, you know, literally, you can be canceled. You can lose your job, you know, all that. And sometimes that's appropriate. I mean, there should be consequences. I'm not saying, you know, when you tell the truth, some people, I might have to go to jail, and that's part of their taking responsibility. But overall, what we're talking about is the day to day things that happen that we could really benefit more from learning rather than blaming and shaming. In my opinion,   Michael Hingson ** 42:38 do you think, Well, what do you think society really says or believes about being real?   Abby Stason ** 42:45 Oh, gosh, yes, societies, you know, it's my experience. He says, Be Real, as long as it's what we say you real is go along to get along, you know, if so, you know, you know, look, there's, I'm LGBTQ, I'm happy to be bisexual. There's 300 plus lawsuit law, pieces of legislation against gay people. There's X number against transgender people. Now that's now you're saying that now the society, the government is saying to me, you can't, you shouldn't do that. So we're going to write laws against you. So this is where it gets tough. You know, I want to be real, but this is where intelligence comes in, context comes in. And I also say self care. Yeah, self care. I I'm teaching, especially now the I'm teaching women and underrepresented anyone in an underrepresented group, you know, self care has got to be non negotiable, because you're it's swimming upstream, and I'm not, yeah again and not victimy. But let's get in the reality of that you have to take really good care of yourself.   Michael Hingson ** 43:55 You have to be the first to take responsibility for doing that, because no one else is going to well said   Abby Stason ** 44:00 you should repeat that, and that should podcast if you're listening to this, that's the that's the main message from this repeat, that you   Michael Hingson ** 44:09 have to be the one to do it, because no one else is going to you have to take care of yourself. And that's that's absolutely fair to do. And I would go beyond it to say you need to really learn for you what self care is about. You know, for a person who is blind, let's say who has become blind, who grow, who has grown up with an attitude that blindness is less than being able to see, now you're suddenly confronted with it. What does that mean? Self Care wise, as opposed to say someone who is LGBTQ in terms of their sexual orientation. But the reality is that both do have things that they can do to care for themselves, mentally and physically in order to be able to continue to function. And first. I recognize that they are just as much a part of humanity as anyone else's.   Abby Stason ** 45:05 Yes, I just was quiet because that was well said, Very well said. So I hope everyone listening in, you just go back repeat what he just said and just repeat it, because you'll listen to it over and over. That's, that's the core message of this podcast, right? And I'll add, you know, I'm looking at you. I can see you have gray hair. I'm turning 58 in a few days, you know. So now ageism starts to come in, right? You know, I'm 58 so if I act, society says I should act like a 58 year old. So I have big energy, as you can probably hear in my voice, I'm pretty active and, you know, I'm not really intimidated by getting older, you know, I'm certainly don't act as energetic and athletic as a 25 year old. But society says I should act a certain way in my age, you know. So the, you know, going full circle to your society question, yeah. I think it's a time to examine our societal conditioning and ask what's outdated?   Michael Hingson ** 46:07 Yeah, and the reality is that things become outdated because we learn which we should do, and we recognize that some of our basic core beliefs that we were taught aren't necessarily, really so yes, totally agree, yeah, and it is. It is still something that we do need to and should learn to deal with. It's fair. Again, I talk a lot about blindness, of course, but that's what I tend to know a little bit about anyway. But I know that that the views that people still all too often have are very outmoded. I still hear of people who are losing their Well, let me do it this way. I hear about people who go to ophthalmologists because they don't see as well as they used to, and the doctor says, well, you're going blind. There's nothing I can do. And the doctor just walks out of the room. Or the doctor says, you know, go live in a home because you can't do anything anymore. You're, you're going to be blind. And that's not real. Yeah,   Abby Stason ** 47:16 wow. That's, that's, yeah, that's right there. That's a, oh, that's really, well, I feel offended Just hearing that, you know, I feel offended just hearing that's not inspirational, it's not looking at possibilities, it's not helping anyone. It's and it's not true. Yeah, that's right, because there we can all do things   Michael Hingson ** 47:38 well, the reality is that that we have, having been in the World Trade Center and escaping on September 11. The reality is that proves that anyone can be in an unexpected situation, and it's a question of how we choose to deal with it. Of course, a lot of people tell me, Well, you must have been so afraid or, of course, you didn't know what happened because you couldn't see it. Well, excuse me. You know they couldn't they couldn't see it. One is really easy. I was on the 78th floor on the south side of the building, and the airplane hit on the area between floors 93 and 99 on the north side of the building, basically 18 floors of concrete, steel and everything else between me and where the plane hit, what was there to see. Nobody could see it, and nobody and when we were going down the stairs, none of us knew what had happened. I never really learned what happened until both towers had collapsed, and I called my wife, and she is the first one who told us how two aircraft had been crashed into the towers. Now we knew that something was going on, because one of my colleagues saw fire before we evacuated, so we knew that something happened. And then as we were going down the stairs, we smelled fumes from burning jet fuel, but we had no idea what really had occurred. There was no way to know, but I was the one. But I was the one who observed to people around me, I smelled in the fumes from burning jet fuel. And other people said, Yeah, we were trying to figure out what that is. That's what it is. You're right,   Abby Stason ** 49:12 yeah, you know. And you're hearing, I'm imagining is, is very strong, right? The brain will make up for loss. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 49:22 only if I use it, only if I and that's, it's, that's a good question. But the reality is, only if I learn to use it. Your hearing doesn't become better simply because you lose your eyesight. It's like, you take a person from SEAL Team Six, and you, you take someone from some other profession that doesn't require as much eyesight, they're not going to see the same one will see better than the other because they've learned to use their eyesight. And it's the same thing with hearing.   Abby Stason ** 49:57 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's remarkable. I mean, yeah, I'm just, I notice I'm thinking of you and the towers, and what an experience. And it's a privilege to sit across from you right now and just, you know, yeah, it's amazing that you were there and lived through that. And I have a special, just a special type of feeling for the people of New York. And, you know, I worked in lower Manhattan after it was 2004 to 2006 and that's one of the reasons I went to work in Manhattan. Lower Manhattan is to, I don't know, I felt drawn to go there and just be a part of that. And it was a privilege to work there for two years   Michael Hingson ** 50:41 after, after all that had happened, where were you before then,   Abby Stason ** 50:46 I was in Atlanta, Georgia, okay, yeah, I was in the southeast. And, yeah, I was offered a job, and in same company, Merrill Lynch and I was offered a job in lower Manhattan. I just felt like, you know, I felt called to go and do that. And mostly because of 911 it was like a privilege to work with people who had lived through it, and, you know, like it's a privilege to sit across from you. It's, of course, one of the most recognizable, impactful events in the USF, yeah, you know, I mean, I'm putting that lightly. I'm not even giving it justice,   Michael Hingson ** 51:22 but it is one of the things that that we learn to deal with, and that's okay, but, but the reality is that I think even with that September 11 is, for a lot of people, just history. I mean, you've got a whole generation who never experienced anything relating to it and just reading about it. It's like Pearl Harbor for a lot of us, is just history, unless we take the time to really step back and and think about it and internalize it. Now I love to collect old radio shows as a hobby. So I've heard many radio broadcasts, not only about Pearl Harbor and that day, but other things relating to world war two and so on that make it very real. And have learned to use my imagination, and I hope people will do that regarding September 11 as well, because even though maybe you weren't born yet, or for those of us who were born who were able to remember it, but only saw it as whatever the size of our TV screen or our newspapers were, it's important to internalize that and think about it and decide, what does that really teach us about history? And I don't think it does teach us that Muslims are evil or anything like that. I think it teaches us that there are thugs in the world who want to force us to try to bend to their will. But the reality is that we're stronger if we work together, because after September 11, just the way this country behaved for a while. Then unfortunately, we started to see things like MCI WorldCom and Enron and other things like that, and politicians who really lost all the momentum that we had gained after September 11.   Abby Stason ** 53:18 Yeah, and I'm really appreciating, you know, really you said it really well too. Kind of a summation is we don't internalize our experience, so we skate over our direct experience, whether the experience be astronomically stressful and traumatic, like 911 but you still don't want to skip over your direct experience. You know, we don't internalize our experience. We we interact superficially, and we just say, Oh, that was okay. This was great. That wasn't. This was awful. Rather than really getting into our direct experience, that's where we can build resilience, that's where insight and wisdom comes along. Like you just said, yeah, really well. Said, appreciate the wisdom I'm getting today. I always learn something. I'm like, I wonder what I learned today. Well, here we are. I   Michael Hingson ** 54:15 hear you me too. I figure if I'm not learning at least as much as anybody else, then I'm not doing my job very well, because I I love doing this podcast, because everyone who comes on teaches me a lot, which I value a great deal, and then putting it all together is a lot of fun. So, you know, tell me, tell me a little bit more about what it is you do today, and what's your company and so on.   Abby Stason ** 54:44 Yeah. So my company name is my name, Abigail station LLC, really the nice, creative name, yeah, I know. Well, you know, it's just was easy, easy, and got recommended to me. But, you know, in a nutshell. Yeah, everything we're talking about is coming full circle because people want to show up. People want to be real, they want to be authentic. They want to be pleased with how they show up. They want to know what their values are. So it's it's like navigating the human condition in our modern world, in a global gig economy, requires skill, right? If I have an experience, what does this mean for me? How am I treating people that requires skill? So I basically teach skills on how to navigate the human condition, particularly while relating to others. It's one thing to be skillful when I'm by myself, but you know what it's like when we get we start working as a team and launching a product. You're shaking your head, right? We   Michael Hingson ** 55:44 impress ourselves very easily, don't we?   Abby Stason ** 55:48 That's where so we, you know, and it's important today, as opposed to years ago, when we worked on assembly lines. You know, we're well past that. Yeah, we're working on an assembly line. You didn't, you know, you basically said hi to your neighbor, you didn't have to share ideas and wisdom. You didn't have to collaborate with them. So now, everything in the workforce today in a gig economy, a global gig economy, across cultures, right across languages. So what's required of us is to be skillful human beings. So that's I have a curriculum that centers around that. So I do that in a one on one forum, Team workshops, open workshops, retreats, you name it. Anyone who wants to learn how to be, how to behave, more consciously. And I'm not making it good or bad, right or wrong, right?   Michael Hingson ** 56:34 How do you do that? How do you teach skills?   Abby Stason ** 56:38 Oh, like, literally, you know, so I'll, you know, I have framer. I talked about frameworks. So I have a skill like presence. I teach a framework on what it means to be present. Emotional Intelligence is a skill. And I, you know, it even like I'm laughing, because emotional intelligence is necessary. It's non negotiable for resilience. We know this scientifically. If you're not emotionally fluent, you're you will hurt your immune system. But people don't know actually how to feel their emotions. So I teach people that to notice the sensations in their body, to then capture the wisdom from that. How to Speak the truth, right? We've talked about that, how to listen, how to cultivate self esteem. So I have processes, many processes, if you will, for each skill, it's just like, Look, let me simplify it for you. You know, everybody's got a hobbit hobby of some sort, a hobbit, a hobbit, a hobbit. Covid might have a hobbit. I have five out here in my closet so, but everybody has a hobby of some sort. Well, let's say so I was a run. I used to run. I didn't go out and run a marathon in the first minute. What did I do? I learned how to train, right? So it's just like that, except we don't do strength training for our behaviors. Yeah, so it's, it's repetition, it's, it's a workout, if you will.   Michael Hingson ** 58:10 What kind of suggestions do you have for people who want to, want to get real, who don't necessarily know how to get real, especially people from underrepresented groups.   Abby Stason ** 58:25 Yeah, so, so for that, I mean, you know, I have you look me up at Abigail season.com, and I'm, I, you know, I'm happy to help anyone. But with underrepresented groups, it's particularly more important so that the skills there are, knowing when I'm present, knowing when I'm emotionally intelligent, because you're gonna have you're gonna be especially if you're an underrepresented group because of what we talked about, you'll be criticized for being real. So you have to understand your emotions. You have to know what your values are. You have to know what you stand for. And I will add self care because of what we talked about, because as an underrepresented group, we're swimming upstream, so you have to really understand how to take care of yourself, because we need to be strong as underrepresented groups. And I'll go back to my days on Wall Street. I was, you know, a lot of swimming upstream, you know. So I was okay. How am I doing this week? Am I taking care of myself? Each of those is a skill.   Michael Hingson ** 59:27 How do people do all of that? So, you know, when, when you talk about these are the things that then one needs to do. How do they do that?   Abby Stason ** 59:37 How do they do that, like, so, actually, you know.   Michael Hingson ** 59:42 So how do they learn about self care, for example, and so on. How do they learn about being more competent about themselves? Yeah,   Abby Stason ** 59:51 okay, so, so, you know, you can get, get support. You can, you know, one, I'll say you can buy my book. I mean. Abigail station.com, my book is called evolution, revolution, conscious leadership for an information age. So I have the skills in them that actually teach you how to be you know again, how to learn what your values are, how to thrive. You have five buckets of thriving, spiritually, mental, physical, emotional and financial. And I have a worksheet so you can actually fill out the worksheet to see where you're thriving or not, and what bucket you need to you know correct for, where are you doing in each bucket. So it's, it's again, it's it sounds, it's not abstract. It's just like if you're learning how to play tennis, you pick up a ball, you pick up a rack, and you start hitting it right? Well, just like this, you pick up a worksheet, you fill it out, and you examine what's true for you, and then you put it into practice.   Michael Hingson ** 1:01:01 And important to do. And in our cover notes, we have a picture of the book cover and so on. So I do urge people to to look at that and and get your book to really understand a lot of the insights. And I think that that's the issue, is that the ultimate answer I would think to them to my question about how do people do it is you ask questions, you go to people like Abby, who have the information, and listen to them. You figure out what will work for you, but really take the time to figure it out, and then you can put it into practice.   Abby Stason ** 1:01:40 It's a matter of stopping to investigate what's going on with me. How am I doing and where do I need support, and all that and all that. It's just, it's skill we it's my experience, and what I teach is we can be more skillful human beings. It's a complex world now,   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:02 do you think it's more complex than it used to be?   Abby Stason ** 1:02:06 I think we make it complex. Okay, that you know, that's what I happen to. Think it's my experience too. And this is what notice, how I'm notice what I'm saying. It's like, it's my experience. Here's what I think, you know, my it's my opinion and my experience. Notice how I'm saying the truth is XYZ. Notice how I'm saying that, right, right? It's my experience. It's my opinion that we make it complex, but yet, the skills that I teach, they're simply said, but they're not easy, right? It's a challenge of a lifetime.   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:42 Well, I think there's a lot to be said for all that, that that we make it a complex world. Is it really more complex than it used to be? Maybe not we. We tend to want to think that it is. But is it really of has the real dynamic, have the real basic concepts changed or not, and that's really the issue, and that's why I agree with you that we tend to want to make it more complex. Oh yeah, there is a lot going on, things like social media and other things bring us closer together and so on. And so there's a lot of stuff going on, but we're the ones that have control over that, right?   Abby Stason ** 1:03:27 Well, Said, because we can go back to take a responsibility for our part, right? How am I showing up on social media, etc?   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:34 Well, if people want to reach out to you, how do they do that? Yeah, they can go   Abby Stason ** 1:03:39 to Abigail stason.com,   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:41 would you spell that, please? Yeah,   Abby Stason ** 1:03:43 I should just going to say it's A B, I G, A, I L, S T, A, S O N.com, you can email me at Abby, a, b, b, y, at Abigail, stason.com, and I you know if you're interested, if they're if you anyone's interested is listening. In a good place to go is go to my website, Abigail station.com, go to my blogs. It's a good way to pick up a lot of these information. I don't I don't send out it. I don't flood you with emails. Come to my blogs. That's a good place to get some exposure to some of this. Pick up my book, evolution revolution and conscious leadership for an information age. And I have an online course too, a self study course that you can sign up for. It's only $250 that walks you through each chapter. I made it priced at a price point to get the skills in as many hands as possible. Cool,   Michael Hingson ** 1:04:38 well, I hope people will do that, I think there's never anything wrong with doing good skill building and growing and stretching. One of the things that I've talked about a lot on this podcast, that I've learned to do over the years, is to spend a little bit of time each day thinking about what happened today. How did it go? Why did. That not work. Why did that work? And even when it worked, could I have done it better? And what can I learn from everything that I do? I just think introspection is a beautiful thing.   Abby Stason ** 1:05:09 Yes, and I want to stress what you said at the end, and what have I learned about myself? That's a great summary. You know your process right there. Listeners follow that process. Absolutely,   Michael Hingson ** 1:05:22 I've learned I used to talk all the time about listening to my speeches because I was I travel and speak. I like to record them, and I've always said I'm my own worst critic. So I listened to speeches because I'm my own worst critic. And I'm going to learn from that. What I realized is how negative is that? And I've learned that what I really should say is I'm my own best teacher, and I will learn from it. And I just think that's I think we need to look at the world in a more positive way, and even the things that aren't necessarily working right, we can be more positive about what we do.   Abby Stason ** 1:05:56 Yes, and notice the reframe of that. Instead of putting yourself on trial. It's simply what, what did I learn, and how can I grow? That's it, and that's   Michael Hingson ** 1:06:06 the way it ought to be, yes, yes, and, and look, you know, it's   Abby Stason ** 1:06:09 way more fun, righ

In this Conversations with the Best Minds in Real Estate episode, RCLCO's Joshua Boren, sits down with Shelley Brindle, Mayor of Westfield New Jersey and Doug Adams, Senior Vice President, Development at Streetworks Development

Alice live from in front of the Watcher House.

In this episode we will dive into the creepy case of 657 Boulevard. A beautiful 1.3 million dollar home in Westfield New Jersey- with a dark and sinister secret. But was it real? Or all just an elaborate hoax. You be the judge.

The time was 2014. The place, Westfield New Jersey. Derek and Maria Broaddus was in the market for a newer and bigger home. After some searching, they were able to find their "dream home" with more than enough space for them and their children and in the town where Maria grew up. But their happiness and elation of their new home was short lived when they started receiving dark and ominous letters from a person calling themself, "The Watcher." As they attempt to make renovations and move in, the letters continue to come and the nature of the letters becomes more frightening. With personal details added to the letters, the family goes to the police to try to get some answers. Who is the Watcher? Why is he or they watching this one house? Will this family or the police investigation get any answers to their questions? Listen as Charming Amy and I, discuss the letters, the timeline, and the possible suspects as to who The Watcher may be. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The Guys tackle the case of The Watcher, a stalker who terrorized the town of Westfield New Jersey as recently as 2017. This episode proves a true crime case does not need to be filled with blood to be terrifying. Will the guys crack this cold case? Definitely not, but they'll name a few suspects and drink a few beers while doing it. Make sure to let us know what you want to see next!  

In 2014, the Broaddus family encountered a nightmare after buying what they thought was their dream home in Westfield New Jersey. It was a home that they never even moved into. Shortly after buying the home, a mysterious letter appeared in the mailbox. Its tone was extremely ominous and it was signed by someone calling themselves The Watcher. Join Mike and Morf for their Halloween episode where they discuss the spooky case of The Westfield Watcher. More letters followed and the terror grew with each letter. The family decided not to move in after a few of the letters mentioned their children in a threatening way. There are many theories on who The Watcher could be but so far that person has yet to be identified. Netflix bought the rights to the story and is set to make something on it soon. You can help support the show at patreon.com/criminology An Emash Digital production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

MYSTERY: This week Brianna takes us to Westfield New Jersey where we try and uncover who The Watcher is by sifting through some of their ominous letters. Jayj then tells us the amazing work the DNA Doe Project is doing by telling us the story of The Mowry Wetlands Jane Doe, New Britain Jane Doe, Apache Junction Jane Doe.

SURPRISE!!!I'm back! In this episode I'm gonna tell you all about why I've been missing for a couple weeks and were also gonna dive into the story of a family in Westfield NJ who got a lot more than they bargained for when they bought their dream home! Don't forget to bring your sage and your bible!Sourcesallthatsinteresting.comToday.comThecut.com

So this episode is a little creepy, not so paranormal. But it's got a personal connection because Dre is about to close on a house and I thought that this unsolved mystery would be great for the spooky season, 48 days by the way. For this week's case we are covering The Watcher of New Jersey. Sources: https://www.today.com/home/watcher-house-new-jersey-finally-sold-new-owners-t160504 https://kfgo.com/2020/03/23/tales-of-true-crime-episode-18-john-list-and-the-watcher-of-westfield/ Channels: iTunes:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/blood-firewater/id1481772619 Breaker: https://www.breaker.audio/blood-and-firewater-1 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9hOGQxM2M4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4BN0Ifh7cONwdzDIb1UC6I Social Media: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/bloodandfirewaterpodcast/ Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/bfwpodsquad

Spencer and Chris talk about the legends of Houston's Batman, The Face at University of Texas Medical Branch, the Killing Fields, and the Infamous Watcher of Westfield New Jersey.

Join us in this laid-back & cozy episode as we discuss the bizarre and terrifying story of the home on 657 Boulevard and the Watcher that seemed to come with it. After the Broadduses purchased what they thought was their dream home, ominous letters possessing intimate details of their lives began arriving, and they had no idea who was sending them. Was it a neighbor? A scorned lover? A centuries-old spirit requiring human sacrifice? Let us tell you the story. Join the family to get access to extra episodes, monthly gifts, exclusive merch, live streams & moreFollow us on InstagramThe article we referenced for this episode was:The Haunting of 657 Boulevard in Westfield New Jersey by Reeves Wiedemanhttps://www.thecut.com/2018/11/the-haunting-of-657-boulevard-in-westfield-new-jersey.htmlSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/creepitrealpod)

In this episode we travel to New Jersey but we visit so many other locations. A man seeing the world marrying a woman with a child, and building a life turns out to be one of the worst father's in history. Tune in as we explore the case of John List and his eighteen years of freedom after a heinous crime. (crimesamerican@gmail.com) (Patreon.com/Podculture) Thanks for listening! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/americancrimes/support

The name Circleville comes from the town’s original layout. The Center of the town was once built around a 1,100-foot Hopewell earth mound. In the 1850s the town’s layout was changed to a more familiar grid-like layout. The town is known for its annual Pumpkin Show every October. It’s is also known for a mysterious set of happenings in the late 1970s that started with strange and threatening letters and may have ended with murder. the-line-up.com/circleville-letter-writerscarestreet.com/circleville-letters/YouTube video (v65yJwcfKDM)WikiPedia article about Circleville, OhioThe town of Westfield New Jersey is nestled in Union County. It boasts a population of 30,316 and is one of the wealthiest towns in the state. It’s a picturesque community, a great place to buy a house. This is exactly what the Broudduses did, only to find their new home came with its own watcher…WikiPedia article about Westfield, New Jerseywww.thecut.com/2018/11/the-haunting-of-657-boulevard-in-westfield-new-jersey.htmlpatch.com/new-jersey/westfield/westfield-watcher-letters-revealed-10-creepiest-excerptsabcnews.go.com/US/alleged-stalker-watcher-sends-letter-specific-threats-nj/story?id=46480325Local Headlineswww.jsonline.com/story/communities/waukesha/news/waukesha/2020/02/25/woman-performed-spiritual-ritual-dead-possum-waukesha-police/4870877002/wvexplorer.com/2020/02/28/bigfoot-sighting-west-virginia-new-river-gorge-wv/www.foxla.com/news/hearse-stolen-outside-pasadena-church-with-womans-corpse-inside-crashes-on-110-freeway?fbclid=IwAR1…Aap8You can follow the show on Twitter or Facebook @stscast, or on Instagram@stscast.gramThis week's featured podcast is What the HopsAnd be sure to check out Big Heads Media for more great pods! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Just imagine having your eyes on a beautiful house in a safe neighborhood and finally getting the money to buy it... only to find out someone else has had their eyes on it too, but for much different reasons. In 2014 when the Broaddus family bought 657 Boulevard in Westfield New Jersey, they thought they were buying their dream home. But their dream slowly became a nightmare as they started receiving letters from "The Watcher" who claimed to be watching the house and its inhabitants for years. Email: crimeculturepod@gmail.com Website: crimeculturepodcast.tumblr.com Instagram: @crimeculturepodcast Twitter: @CrimeCulturePod Facebook: @crimeculturepodcast And join our Patreon! (All other links can be found on our website and linktree in our social media bios!) Hosts: Hayley Langan and Kaitlin Mahar Social Media Manager: Elissa Sanci Theme Song Composer: Michael Quick Mix Engineer: Elliot Leach We'll see you next Tuesday! xx

John List býr ásamt eiginkonu sinni Helen og börnunum þeirr þrem Patty, Frederick og John Junior í nítjá herbergja, þriggja hæða villu í Westfield New Jersey. Það mátti með sanni segja að utanað komandi aðili myndi segja að þetta væri fjölskylda sem væri að lifa ameríska drauminn, en raunin var sú að innan veggja heimilisins bjuggu djúp leyndarmál. Ekki ert allt sem sýnist.

We've got a surprise for you this week, creeps and peeps! We're bringing you our Milwaukee and Asbury Park, New Jersey stories retold from the studio! Tune in to hear Em cover the haunted Pfister Hotel and how they surprised Christine on stage by covering the hotel we stayed at. We may also have experienced our own creepy happenings in the grand hotel and at the very least saw some ugly cherubs. Meanwhile, Christine tells the extremely chilling tale of the Watcher House of Westfield New Jersey, a story so mysterious and scary we would NOPE out of there so fast... and that's why we drink! Please consider supporting the companies that support us!  Try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com/drink To get $80 off your first month of Hello Fresh go to hellofresh.com/drink80 and enter code DRINK80 at checkout  Get 10% off your first Brooklinen order when you go to brooklinen.com and use promo code DRINK Get 15% off your first ThirdLove order when you go to thirdlove.com/drink