Black Girls Heal

Sometimes family and loved ones don't rise to the occassion and show up for us as we need them to at our big events (i.e. weddings, graduations, birthday parties, child births, etc). This abandonment is a real form of trauma. In this episode, I discuss what to do to emotionally prepare yourself if you have an event coming that you fear you may be disappointed and also coping  with your feelings if something hurtful has happened before.   Click here to Register for Our Open House on Tuesday, August 30th at 6:30pm CST CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

When relationships do not work out (Friendship, romantic, familial, or otherwise) we can have a variety of emotional responses: neutrality, intense longing and love, hatred and rage, and any combination in between. In this episode, we talk about how you are allowed to have whatever emotions you need to have about this relationship in this season.   Register for our Recovery School Open House - Click here to Save your Seat   CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org  

In this episode, we talk about the difference between disempowering helping (enabling) and empowerment. Register for our Open House: Click here to save your seat   CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org  

Pulling from the title of the book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself," we're talking about the importance of doing the actions that you have learned to do to create change. Register for our final Enrollment Open House   CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Even healers can overgive and need to be mindful of triggers. I break down a recent event and how it triggered me and next steps I'm taking to move forward.    CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Things are changing. It's time to grow.

Heartbreak is really hard for love addicts. Especially when we're still holding on. This episode is to give 5 truths for love addicts healing for heartbreak. Click here to register for our next open house for The Recovery School  RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

I'm sooo excited to share the debut of our brother podcast, For the Fellas Click here to listen now on Apple Podcasts Follow our website: forthefellas.org Follow us on IG: @forthefellaspodcast RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Pulling from the work of Dr. John Gottman, we talk about the importance of bids and repairs to the health of a relationships. Click here to learn more about Dr. John & Dr. Julie Gottman's work     Register for the Let Them Love You Workshop live in Houston, TX   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Your partner is their own person with their own feelings. But sometimes those feelings can be triggering to us even when they don't intend it to be. In this episode, we go over 3 things to keep in mind to help you allow your partner to have their own emotional experience.    Ready to let your loved ones in or provide space for those who want to love you? Check out the Let Them Love You Workshop to gain skills and make love easier. Register for the Let Them Love You Workshop RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

To feel protected in a relationship is one of the biggest blessings but should ALSO be a standard that you hold for every partnership and friendship you have. In this episode, I will talk about 5 signs that you are in a relationship where you are feeling protected and seen.   Ready to let your loved ones in or provide space for those who want to love you? Check out the Let Them Love You Workshop to gain skills and make love easier. Register for the Let Them Love You Workshop RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

The last few weeks have been tough.   I just wanted to send you all some love

Touching base this week in a mini-epiosde talking about learning to take space to figure out what works for me with my ADHD

If you're a mom and have a conflictual relationship with your daughter, part of it *might* be because your unresolved inner child wounds that resurface when faced with a part of yourself you have not embraced. In this episode we're going to talk about what it may look like along with 9 steps for you to take to work through this.   Click here to Join You Are Worthy Click here to Join The Loved Woman Foundations     RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

If you have felt sad or disheartened because you haven't been able to build the relationship you want with your mother, this podcast is for you. Let's talk about how to grieve your relationship with your mother even if she is physically present.   Click here to enroll in The Loved Woman Foundations Course   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Let's break down was living in self forgiveness looks like so we can move forward! RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Register for the next open house for Signature Coaching Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Let's take a deeper look at love deprivation including it's symptoms, the impact of withdrawal, and ways to exit the cycle. Enroll in The Loved Woman Foundations Course RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Let's talk about what it looks like when we're triggered, how we respond, and healthier next steps to take. This episode is a replacement of the episode aired earlier this week.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

We're drawing from our text inspiration messages for this week's episode. We hope you find it inspirational! RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Making the right decision for yourself is hard, and it can make you go through a lot of back and forth.  In today's episode, I talk about some lessons I learned during this process.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

As you're recovering, it takes so much work and inner reflection to find your voice and what's true for YOU and the relationships you want to cultivate. In today's episode, we talk with our amazing student Shandalla about the journey she has taken to find her voice and the lessons learned along the way.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Coaching Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available Come to our next Healed and Loved Woman Retreat CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

To maintain safety and love with your relationships, it's important for you to know how to ask for what you need emotionalyl when sharing with your friends and how to repair when there's a disruption. Let's talk about what that looks like in today's episode!   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

In this episode, Dr. Marcuetta Sims breaks down what perfectionism looks like in our lives and how to work through it.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

It is totally okay for you if the holidays are important for you in a relationship. You deserve to feel special. This episode is in support of women who may have felt overlooked and forgotten by partners on special holidays like Valentine's Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, and others habitually.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Enroll in our Signature Program for single and partnered women: From Addicted & Avoidant to Available CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org6653

We are recapping the Healed and Loved Woman Framework to embody being balanced, available, and worthy in our relationships.   Click here to join us at our retreats   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

God is not calling you to be abused in your relationship. Period. In this episode, we are talking about domestic violence, why it is NOT the same of other typical couple conflict, and support for Christian women who may feel conflicted with leaving. Note: Though this episode pulls from Christian teaching, the message is for everyone who needs it. Domestic Violence Hotline (call, chat, or text for free 24/7) The National Center Against Domestic Violence RESOURCES Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHeal TikTok: @blackgirlsheal Facebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

In a current social trend that is pushing misogyny at length as self help, in this episode, we're looking at some common examples of internalized misogyny love addicts and codependents may face due to trauma, examples of alternative mindsets, and encouragement to be kind with oneself and self-forgive while unlearning these patterns.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Five things I'm currently doing to cultivate my friendships in this season in spite of avoidant tendencies. RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

It's okay to be over it. Checking in a little bit. Resources Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

How to Find a Therapist for Love Addiction My Suggested Models:  EMDR (or Brainspotting) Somatic Experiencing Post Induction Therapy Sex Therapy (AASECT Certified) Sex Addiction Therapy (IITAP Certified)   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Rest is SOOO important. It's really about how we treat ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. We talk about how not resting is a fight or flight response and the importance of being aggressive about protecting your peace. ➡️ Grab your 2022 Planner and Best Year Ever Bundle RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Family Estrangement is super painful and can hard to navigate, especially during the holidays.  Therapist Violetta Fernandez breaks it down for us and also how to cope with it. CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST Instagram: @terapista_violetita RESOURCES MENTIONED Shop The Loved Woman Co Planners Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

There are three things we never need to apologize for. Our boundaries, our identity, and our voice are so important and valuable to us.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Have you been procrastinating putting yourself out there and making yourself available to get to know others? Then this one is for you. It's time to stop living in fear and actually create the life you want for yourself. RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Opening up and building trust to others is super important. But also so is being discriminate with who you allow into your heart. In this episode, I talk about why this is important. RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org    

What do you do when you realize you were the toxic one in a relationship? Let's talk about what it can look like here and also some steps for you to take.   Click here to join The Recovery School 2.0   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Join The Recovery School 2.0 to unlearn symptoms of love addiction and love avoidance Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

In this episode, I recap the things I learned from the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat about fear, hiding, and the importance of sisterhood.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

In this episode, we talk about how to host a relationship check in with your family, friendship, and romantic partnerships. Grab a pen and paper to get started!   Purchase your Loved Woman Co Planner & Tools here   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

We're answering listener questions in today's episode! Today's questions talk about addiction, trauma bonds, family conflict, and dating! RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org    

RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Love Addiction and Love Avoidance are different sides of the same coin and have the same goal in mind. Let's talk about it today! RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

If you've missed red flags in a relationship, it's completely and totally okay. There is no shame in having missed the signs and suddenly realizing that they are there. Which is why I'm sharing what to keep in mind when you miss red flags.  Lately, I've seen a lot of chatter about women starting to heal and then suddenly seeing the signs of a bad relationship that they'd previously missed. For so many women this noticing leads to feelings of shame and guilt that they didn't recognize the signs sooner.  Stop right there.  Instead of heading down the shame spiral, take a moment and be kind to yourself. So you didn't recognize those signs right off. You do now and that's what's important. Be kind, compassionate, and loving to yourself so that you can finally break the cycle.  I also want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not what is broken. Even if you've chosen the same type of relationship over and over again, it's not your fault that you're being mistreated.  Lastly, no matter how long you've been in the relationship or where you're at in life, you have the right to choose how to respond. It doesn't matter if you're 10 minutes, 10 days, or 10 years into it, you can change your future by making a new choice.  You're on the path to healing and growth because you see the red flags. What choice will you make now that you know?  In this episode:  [00:35] Welcome back loved ones! [02:22] Have you ever felt regret or shame for missing red flags in relationships?  [03:22] When you do notice those red flags, be kind, compassionate, and loving to yourself.  [04:26] Do you know what being kind to yourself means?  [07:28] I want you to do something different than you've ever done before.  [09:36] There is nothing wrong with you. [13:06] Don't mistake self-accountability and taking ownership with self-deprecation. [13:38] No matter where you are or how long things have been happening, you get to choose how to respond.  [15:27] As soon as you decide that you're ready to get out, that's all you need. Links & Resources:  RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

It's time to give yourself a pat on the back. One of the things we as women, but especially Black women, don't do often enough is recognize when we've made progress. This is why I'm sharing three ways to know that you've grown and are healthier.  The reason I decided it was time for this type of episode was because of a conversation I had with one of my coaching students. We were talking about some things going on in her life and she kept prefacing her comments with, “I'm love avoidant…” or “I'm trying to be less love avoidant…”  As she was talking I had to stop her and point out that she isn't love avoidant anymore. She'd made huge progress and was actually approaching various situations in completely new ways and had really stepped away from being love avoidant.  The problem was, she couldn't see it. She didn't recognize her growth for what it was and continued to see herself as the person she was when she first started her work.  Which is why you need to do the work, but then recognize it when you've grown. If you've started pausing before you react, been more open to alternative viewpoints, and have started feeling your emotions, then you've grown.  Listen in to hear more and then take a moment to celebrate your growth and give yourself a pat on the back. Even if you've only fully stepped into one of these areas, you are on the path to healing and you need to celebrate your milestones. I'm giving you that permission right now!  In this episode:  [00:51] It's so important to give yourself credit and recognize that you've grown. Learn why! [01:27] Why I'm sharing this topic.  [04:54] Learn three signs that you have grown and get ready to celebrate them. [06:06] Do you pause before you react? Then you've grown! [08:41] Have you been more open to seeing alternative viewpoints in a conversation?  [11:39] Asking questions and being curious is very helpful in relationships.  [13:19] You have a choice when you ask the phrase, “Is that true?” in a conversation.  [16:07] Another alternative is acknowledging when you go into fantasy mode while dating.  [19:41] Choose the meaning you attach to your emotions and feelings.  [20:16] The third sign you've grown is that you're able to feel your emotions and validate them. [22:01] One bonus sign is that you share your emotions with people who are safe.  [25:34] Pat yourself on the back and celebrate your growth.  Links & Resources:  RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

I'm sharing these tips for anyone who is a professional healer. Those of you who are therapists, coaches, crystal workers, healers of all sorts, listen in. But, if you are the sage of your family, perhaps a priest or pastor, or maybe a teacher who hears the burdens of your students, then this is for you as well.  As healers, we need to be sure to avoid codependency. What does that mean exactly? As a whole, it means not making your client or family member or student's journey about you. You cannot superimpose your issues onto their healing.  The first way to avoid codependency is by not arguing with people who aren't ready for transformation. You cannot push people toward healing. They will walk the path toward healing in their own time and you badgering them into it will not make them go any faster.  When people share their feelings with you, stop, take a moment, and then ask them what they need from you. Rather than listening and then immediately trying to fix the problem, see what they're looking to gain by confiding in you first.  Also don't personalize the other person's progress. Their wins and losses are not reflective of your involvement in their life. It's their healing journey, not yours so their progress has nothing to do with you.  Listen in to hear all four ways plus a little bonus. We all have our own issues to deal with which is why healers also need to have their own healer to go to. Just make sure that you don't use your relationship with your clients to work on your own baggage.  In this episode:  [00:34] Being a healer is a privilege in someone's life no matter if it's in a personal or professional capacity.  [02:27] If you are a healer, it's important that you don't expect more from the relationship than it is.  [05:38] You do not argue with people who are not ready for transformation.  [07:29] This looks like you, making their journey about you. Learn more.  [09:56] When people are sharing their feelings with you, you need to pause and ask them what they need from you.  [12:30] Don't personalize your client's progress.  [15:20] Our emotions are so layered and also so simple.  [17:52] Stop over-giving, which is not the same as over-delivering.  [20:12] If you truly believe in this person, then step out of the way.  [22:59] I personally have struggled with over-giving as a coach even though I perfected it as a therapist.  [27:01] No matter how hard someone pushes you, you'll complete things in your own time and space. The same is true with your clients.  [30:54] Are you talking with your therapist or coach about your own personal triggers?  [32:37] We all have places where we need to learn and grow.  [33:05] Why you need to stay focused on your own life.  [36:14] As a healer you cannot be possessive or jealous. You don't need to be someone's everything.  [38:17] Learn how to just say no. Space is okay. [41:26] If you're a healer, more is not always better.  [43:53] How I'm modeling this.  Links & Resources:  The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

It's that time again. It's time for a refresher on what it means to be a healed and loved woman as developed in our three part framework. Listen in to hear the framework again and what you need to do to move from love addiction, avoidance, or anorexia to being a healed and loved woman.  I'm starting it all off with love addiction. So many women are stuck in a cycle of love addiction and aren't sure how to get out of it. Oftentimes we think of sex addiction as something separate but it's really another facet of being addicted to love. It's just manifested in the physical.  When you're love avoidant you're perfectly happy to just relax and keep yourself away from love. Many times wives and mothers hide love avoidance through the actions of taking care of others, but you still need love.  Love anorexia is a short-lived stage, but it's one that is prolonged when you're not balanced. Love anorexia or love deprivation results in women living in a fantasy world. Usually this disorder is triggered by a bad relationship and then swearing off love, but when you live a balanced life you no longer need dramatic swings.  Intimacy disorders are complex, but with the right guidance you can leave them behind and live a balanced and fulfilled life. Listen in to hear more. Which of these do you identify with?  In this episode:  [00:34] Welcome back! Get ready to refresh your knowledge on the Healed & Loved Woman framework.  [03:25] Learn more about the three intimacy disorders that I discuss on this podcast.  [06:37] The signs of being a love addict.  [08:32] Ways sex is used to create a deeper connection but it doesn't necessarily work.  [11:32] Signs that you may struggle with love avoidance.  [14:45] Personal attributes you may have when you're love avoidant.  [17:35] Love avoidant women want nothing more than to just relax.  [18:14] Do you have love anorexia?  [21:56] Love deprived ladies will often build lives built on fantasies.  [23:36] How did the term “love anorexia” come about?  [26:57] Join our From Avoidant to Available program. [28:33] The swings that love avoidant and love anorexic women will see in their lives.  [30:57] A ring does nothing for your internal beliefs. Neither does losing weight or other measures. [31:57] What it looks like when you become a healed and loved woman. [33:15] Learn about balance in your relationships.  [35:48] You can like someone without having to be with them.  [37:04] What boundaries really should mean and how they should be presented.  [38:11] The benefits of being love available. [41:59] The traits of a love available woman.  [44:29] What it looks like when you're living in your love worthiness.  [48:01] When you are active in your love worthiness you show up for opportunities to find love. Links & Resources:  RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

Why is it so difficult for some women to find and maintain healthy female friendships? Joining me today is Danielle Bayard Jackson, The Friendship Expert, to share more about this topic and to help provide actionable advice to get your friendships back on track, even if they've fallen off due to the pandemic.  Danielle is a publicist by day and a certified friendship coach by night. She started her career as a high school English teacher for many years and was relied upon by her students to help navigate friendship issues.  What she didn't realize is that those “high school dramas” weren't limited to high school. So often the way we approach friendship and relationships in general at a young age, follows us throughout our lives and experiences.  Friendship like any other relationship requires work and nurturing but after more than a year of limited in-person interaction, it may seem daunting to reconnect.  Listen as Danielle shares her tips for re-emerging as we reach the end of this pandemic and what you can be doing right now to start working on building new friendships. Remember that there could be people in your existing circle that you'd click with, you just need to give it a chance.  Also, just because someone doesn't have the capacity to spend time with you right now does not mean that they aren't interested in friendship. Don't let the stories you tell yourself obscure what could be an amazing relationship.  If you've struggled in any way with finding strong female friendships, then you won't want to miss out on everything Danielle has to share. In this episode:  [01:01] Welcome friendship coach and expert Danielle Bayard Jackson to chat all about making and maintaining adult female friendships. [04:22] Listen as Danielle shares more about her background and business.  [05:24] How did she become a friendship coach?  [07:10] Why is it so difficult for us to keep and maintain female friendships in adulthood.  [09:14] Danielle shares how she defines and describes a healthy friendship.  [13:31] Ways to deal with the waiting period between finding new acquaintances and making new friends.  [15:43] There is a study that has attempted to quantify how long it takes to build a friendship. [18:03] What to do when you realize that you don't feel like you have the energy for friendships.  [23:42] Is there a right and wrong to determine how many coins we have available to give? [27:03] The special thing about woman-to-woman friendships.  [30:47] Learn the single greatest determining factor of our overall well-being.  [32:37] What is your next step after you self-assess and you're ready to cultivate new friendships?  [39:52] The things you shouldn't do when you slide into someone's DMs to make a connection.  [42:04] When people tell you they aren't available is not a sign that someone doesn't like you.  [44:49] If you're willing to be a friend and put in the time, then it's never too late.  [45:19] Connect with Danielle.  Links & Resources:  Connect with Danielle:  Friend Forward Podcast Better Female Friendships @friendforward on Instagram @thefriendshipexpert on TikTok RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal

I'm back! It's been a little over a month since I dropped a podcast episode and I've taken the time to do some deep soul searching. Listen in to hear all the things I've learned about myself both professionally and personally and what that means for you and the future of Black Girls Heal. Probably the most important part of my hiatus was self-assessing my ADHD. I've spent years wondering whether or not I have ADHD. Every time I hear someone talk about the symptoms or describe their lives, I immediately think that they're talking about my life.  So, when one of my business mentors released a podcast episode describing their journey with ADHD, I decided it was time. I took several self-assessments and they all told the story of my ADHD. I then made an appointment with a psychiatrist to formalize my diagnosis and to be prescribed medication.  My doctor agreed that I do indeed have ADHD, specifically inattentive ADHD, but unfortunately I cannot take any medication at this time. Now I'm looking for ways to treat this in a naturopathic way, but my goal is to elevate my overall health so that I can, someday soon, be placed on medications to help me with my activities of daily living.  But that's not all. This hiatus was a necessity for my life and business. Listen in to hear all about my revelations and what I focused on during the hiatus. I'm feeling better than ever and I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things and help women, specifically Black women, to heal.    In this episode:  [00:34] Welcome back to the Black Girls Heal podcast! [02:15] I took this time to go through the Recovery School curriculum.  [03:26] It was also a time to self-assess for ADHD and get clear on what I'm manifesting. [05:08] Self-care was a huge focus for me during the hiatus as was personal development.  [06:08] I sought clarity around how I help women publicly and privately.  [07:57] I've suspected for several years that I qualified for the inattention version of ADHD, so I decided it was time to dig deeper.  [11:52] How I approached my self-assessment and treatment.  [14:09] The things I checked off as it applies to inattentive ADHD.  [18:57] After all this work, I'm not able to take ADHD medication.  [23:04] Why I want to be able to take medication in addition to natural therapies.  [26:54] I do not want to see black people continue to struggle with their mental health when they need more than therapy, yoga, or prayer.  [29:00] Stepping into my feminine energy has helped heal broken areas of my life.  [32:00] I'm planning to head out to New York because travel is great for my soul, especially because my trips allow me to connect with students.  [34:30] I've started dropping my excuses around exercise as self-care.  [36:55] Be careful about the things that you say you'll never participate in.  [38:15] The last few things I focused on during the hiatus revolved around the business.  [40:26] I've been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a long time, and I'm ready to do it, but in a different format.  [42:30] I am launching a planner. Listen to learn what this planner is built to do for women everywhere.  [44:42] I'm revealing the name of the new business and who this planner is for.  [46:32] How I used the hiatus to confront and overcome my own impostor syndrome.  [48:17] Stay tuned for all of these updates.   RESOURCES MENTIONED Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in From Avoidant to Available Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here Create balance and love in your life with The Loved Woman Planner CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

I'm going on vacation!   RESOURCES MENTIONED The Healed and Loved Woman Membership Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in the Recovery School  - Click here to pre-apply! Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org

Something I see a lot with the women that I serve is this stressful and conflicting scenario of hearing the phrase “you deserve someone better”. This is a phrase that is commonly used when someone, particularly a romantic partner, seeks to cut ties with us.    In today's episode, I'm sharing helpful and encouraging advice about finding the message within that particular message. I share 3 messages that you should know when you hear phrases such as “you deserve someone better,” or “it's not you, it's me”. I discuss why accepting this phrase stems from a low sense of self-worth, and a one-sided negotiation that only happens within yourself.   It can be easy to personalize and internalize this message. And my hopes with today's episode is that I provide a new perspective to this roller coaster of a scenario. This is a common situation many of us find ourselves in at one point or another. So listen to this episode as many times as you need, share it with a friend or family member, and take the messages that resonate with you.   RESOURCES MENTIONED The Healed and Loved Woman Membership Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in the Recovery School  - Click here to pre-apply! Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here   CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

It seems like we're all in a place of transition right now, trying to determine our new normal.  Hear some encouragement about why transitioning is totally okay. RESOURCES MENTIONED The Healed and Loved Woman Membership Join our weekly text inspiration list by texting PODCAST to 832-219-7815 Get our free download - The 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction Apply to work together in the Recovery School  - Click here to pre-apply! Learn that YOU ARE WORTHY  - Enroll in You Are Worthy here   CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal Facebook: Black Girls Heal Website: Blackgirlsheal.org