Throw The Game

We determine the winner of our bracket tournament of Naruto characters! Discussion topics: Neji's Canonical Death; Does "Yamato" rhyme with "Tomato"? Italian Mighto Guy; Where's Itachi? It's the episode where we use Kabuto's resuresction jutsu to reanimate Babe Ruth.

After 3 years of radio silence, Harry and Sky are back to make good on their Maaarrrch Maaadddness promise from 2020. Here it is in all its nerdy glory: we talk for hours about Naruto. Harry drinks a Rusty Kunai. There's Coffee In That Forbidden Jutsu. It's the episode where we forget who, like, half of these Naruto characters even are.

This bonus episode recorded in May 2019 was made for people who donated $1 CAD or more to TTG's production (thanks Jason!). But it was so good we wanted to give it to you for free! Topics: How to see two ppl doin' it in a HP movie, Dumbledore's canonical shit, Youngbledore, Ronbledore, wizard hats, LeBron playing Hagrid in the Cosby-Show-esque sitcom The Weaselys. Recommendations: The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemison Michael Moorecock's "Elric of Melnibone" novels This is the end of the line for TTG - we have had so much fun sharing our bullshit and bits with you over the years but Harry and I have moved on to other projects. Some of the best parts of TTG have found new life in the narrative and comedy podcasts that Harry makes for Blue Wire. Please follow Harry on twitter @HarrySwartout for these, and also for all inquiries and correspondance related to TTG. Our TTG twitter account will remain active but dormant and unmonitored - please don't hack it. Our archive of episodes will remain available for the foreseeable future. If we ever make another collaborative project, we'll drop a note about it here. Thank you for listening. Mr. Celery Forever. -TTG

Back in July 2017 we recorded a pilot of what would eventually become TTG just before Sky moved to Montreal. This was so long ago that I can make no claims for its content or quality, and I'm too lazy to listen back to it now before I post it so I just hope we don't say anything too inappro-pro. Enjoy!

After considering a Who Framed Roger Rabbit Space Jam (starring Bugs, LeBron and Mickey Mouse), we play a game Sky wrote 2 years ago and never played: "1990s Kentucky Derby Entrant, 1990s Ska Band, or Shit I Made Up"  Plus: The Ballad of Old Billy!

We pick teams for a fantasy kickball game from Nicktoon TV shows of the 1990s. What could possibly go wrong? Sky's Team:  “The Off-Beats” The Flesh Krum Grandpa Lou Pickles Powdered Toast Man “Pookie” Bob from Prometheus and Bob (club mascot: The Monkey) Mr. Krabs Tito Chalky Studebaker   Harry's Team: “The Slimeville Nine” Torwald Ickis Roger Klotz (club mascot: Stinky) Larry the Lobster Norbert Nigel Thornberry Cliff Otto Rocket Dad (fairly oddparents)

Step inside, weary traveller, and we will regale you with tales of interest from the strange past of sport. With other gentlemen! Harry and Sky discuss 1960s womens' basketball rules and uniforms (both whack, of course), the Moe Berg of Hockey, the Soviet hockey anthem Cowards Don't Play Hockey, and Sky's increasingly dumb Resident Evil 4 nuzlocke runs.

Harry bought a chair so that he can work from home, but he needs more seasonally appropriate smelly candles Sky questions whether or not Farmers Only is real Harry got plagarized hard in the paint  

We crown the winner of Maarch Maaddness 2020: Dragon Ball Z: The World Martial Arts Tournament Topics: Harry's got Dome Cones just like Frieza? Does Krillin fuck? Is Star Wars just Dragon Ball Z now? Is Cell's power just Kakashi? What does Piccolo (AKA Post Boy) look like wearing shorts? What is the Laura Dern Machine? This is our 100th Episode! Thank you for listening. Stay tuned next year for Maarch Maaddness 2021: Naruto: The Chunin Exam (ok not really. but maybe)

NCAA March Madness is cancelled because of COVID-19 but the 2020 TTG Maaarch Madddness Tournament is still live from the World Martial Arts Tournament. Will anyone be able to take down overall no. 1 seed Goku? Is Yajirobe the dumbest character in Dragon Ball? Is Vegeta's daughter named "Barbara Briefs?" Why would they make like 5 characters differentiated only by a series of consecutive numbers?

Are dog shows sports? What about cat shows? Olympic Skateboarding Uniforms XFL is real?

In this very old episode, we talk about Bowl Game Gatorate Dumps, Muppet Orgeron, Randy Moss, and Double Landos.

We're dropping this Christmas Spectacular about the cult classic "Gleaming the Cube" (1989 dir. Graeme Clifford). In this film, Christian Slater has BDE (Big David Bowie Energy), Yabbo has a literal man cave, and Tony Hawk has 5 phones for some reason. Don't give me no jerkoff handjob! At time of posting, Gleaming The Cube is available to stream for free with Amazon Prime in the USA, so watch along with us as we unpack this bizarre 80s skateboard/murder movie. We'll be back in 2020 with more stupid sports and no hot takes. Thanks for listening!

This week on TTG: Caffeine is a PED at BYU NBA Jam Creepypasta Guaranteed Jordan

You better watch out: Gritty Claus is coming to town. That's right, the real Christmas Creep, the Reason for the Season! Also: Why aren't "The Jersey" and "The Muppet Show" on Disney+ ??? Is Vin Scully dead in the world of The Sandlot? Harry breaks the rules of Card Wars.

We draft Thanksgiving dinner foods on this week's episode. Also: Were you a shortsm'n?; Earl Grey's broken trophy; Zombie Gordie Howe

We talk athletes' beer ads in this weeks episode, from Shaq's chinese beer spot to Jason Alexander's big break in a Miller Lite commercial. We watch Happy Gilmore in 60 seconds. Would our dad drink Purple Jesus for the 'gram? Harry's Uniform Corner: LA Chargers' Mexico Starter Jackets Card Wars: NHL 1991

Today on TTG: Losing our Taco Bell virginity Bucket School memories Getting a jersey at an Albany Patroons game, Mean Joe Green-style You know Rocky fuckin' voted for Trump

In this TTG: We imagine an alternative future in which Harry is a Masshole. Sky runs the family car into a yellow pole. Is Tacko more of a 7-ft-tall potato like Andre the Giant or a 7-ft-tall cylinder like Yao Ming? Lebron vs. Bezos in the Firefighter Civil War of 2019. Harry learns who Kylie Minogue is when we look at trading cards from Street Fighter: the Movie.

We talk the Shaq/Damian Lillard rap beef & attempt to salvage our disastrous "Card Wars" segment Topics: Somebody get Dwyane Wade a puppet! Bad 2: The Sequel To Bad VORP-al sword goes snicker-snack! Sky eats 30-year-old baseball card bubblegum again

Happy Grittiversary! We examine Gritty's mysterious handler and mourn the loss of the Columbia's marching band in this week's episode. Harry punches some bread. Sky talks to Alexa. Our NFL cards are full of scrubs. The goose? A goose? My goose?

Congratulations to the Wilmington Blue Rocks for their championship win in the A-Advanced Carolina League this year! Woo Hoo! Other topics: Beiing panda mascot trippin' balls Bartolo Colon throws a ball through a kid's chest Mike Fiers B/W beard Data B/W beard And the worst Star Trek trading cards ever produced!

Harry proposes new swag for U Miami's sidelines, the Octopus Grill (also special appearance by our gym teacher and Harry's football coach Dr. Watkapus). How do you build a car shaped like basketball shorts? Also we talk No Mas and other Boxing Legends of 1991.

After our annual(?) high school football season preview, we invent Time Trial Taken in which a unicycle-mounted Liam Neeson takes out crime on the Tour de France. In this week's Card Wars, does Popeye f*ck?

Questions answered (maybe) on this week's TTG: What are chicken squares? How do you solve the riddle of the Sphinx-Vampire? Why do all these 1991 Topps NHL Stadium Collection cards say "Rookie Card" even if the player depicted is not a rookie? For the answer for the additional question, "Is Harry Potter wearing a conical wizard hat all the time?" donate to TTG and listen to our donors-only bonus episode The Harry Potter All-Takes Hour. Email throwthegamepodcast@gmail.com for donation details.

What if the Phanatic, Mr. Celery, and Dillon the Pickle Man all worked for the Arizona Diamondbacks? OK, we won't make you consider that nightmare scenario any further than that but we will talk mascots and their value to a team. Should the Rangers buy Youppi!? Also, we open Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban trading cards to promote our donor bonus episode "The Harry Potter All-Takes Hour Hosted By Throw The Game." Email us at throwthegamepodcast@gmail.com for instructions on how to donate to get your genuine mp3 copy!

The crickets you hear in the background are from Sky's new al fresco recording studio, not from all our bad jokes. Harry returns from a cruise. We talk about what's inside an english pie mascot's mouth. We win a trip to 1990 Spring Training to see Young Griffey and Old Griffey. Sky attempts to chew 30-year old gum.

Welcome to Throw The Game Season 2: The Season of the Corn: The Season of Giving After a hiatus, we're back on our bullshit with a live episode recorded in Harry's living room and featuring The divine omen of the double water bottle spill In an ironic twist, Harry gets cancelled instead of Pete Rose Elementary school letter song deep cuts The worst/best MiLB game Smart House was directed by Levar?!?

We recorded this episode way back on June 5, but this lost tape is pretty timeless, just like the music of Will Smith. We talk Will Smith, walkup music, and Will Smith's Will Smith walkup music, along with summer favorites baseball, beer, and uh Udder Tuggers (ew). Season 2 of Throw The Game is just around the corner. Get hype, son! Get our lavishly produced donors-only bonus episode, The Harry Potter All Takes Hour Hosted By Throw The Game, by donating one Canadian Dollar or more (or USD equivalent). Email us at ThrowTheGamePodcast@gmail.com for details.

TTG went on an unexpected hiatus from for June and most of July, but be prepared: SEASON 2 of THROW THE GAME is just around the corner! To tide you over until the big event, we present The Lost Tapes, two episodes we recorded back when the Toronto Raptors didn't yet have a Ring but did have Kawhi. After incorrectly predicting the outcome of the NBA finals but correctly predicting that we still don't know what hat Kawhi will wear on his plaque at Cooperstown, we spend much of this episode discussing the all-time great sports photographs, from Crying Jordan to Muhammad Ali. ALSO: You can now obtain your very own MP3 copy of our donors-only bonus episode, The Harry Potter All-Takes Hour Hosted By Throw The Game by donating at lease 1 Canadian dollar (or USD equivalent) or more (please more). Email us at Throwthegamepodcast@gmail.com for details. Join our #1 listener/donor Jason Lederman, who called it "the greatest podcast ever."

On this week's episode, we talk about an All That reboot, Gritty as World's Greatest Clown, the NBA draft lottery, and Dwayne Johnson's secret identity Brock Throckmorton.

This week's topics: CFL fashion uniforms Basketball & backgammon Odell Beckham Jr. in a kilt Check out Harry's new podcast for Sports Illustrated, The Throwback, as they cover the 1991 Women's World Cup, feat. an interview with Sepp Blatter! Link: https://www.si.com/soccer/2019/05/02/throwback-podcast-1991-womens-world-cup Email us at throwthegamepodcast@gmail.com to arrange your donation of 1 Canadian Dollar or more to hear our upcoming donor bonus episode, the Harry Potter All-Takes Hour Hosted By Throw The Game.

Topics: Guy Fieri memories; Guy Fieri of the night; Harry's close personal friend Jeff Dale Earnhardt Jr.; Bad mascots, good-bad mascots, and good-great mascots on Twitter @woohoocelery; Upcoming Donor Bonus Episode: The Harry Potter All-Takes Hour Hosted By Throw The Game. Email us at Throwthegamepodcast@gmail.com to inquire about donating to our dumb podcast to get our extra dumb bonus podcast!

In our very first episode, "Tiger Woods starts The Process," we made jokes about Tiger's performance and his prospects for a comeback. 74 episodes later, we are surprised and delighted to see that Tiger has beat out Joel Embiid's 76ers and has finished The Process. Other topics: Gin & Tonic improvements Harry Potter & The All-Hot-Takes Podcast Thin Ron Funches & The Second Tooter Tim Anderson got robbed / Bean balls are a C R I M E

What we were supposed to talk about this episode: the collapse of the AAF, the Jets' new logo, the NFL draft hats. What we actually talked about: Steely Phil, Magneto/Professor X slash fiction, Kobe Bryant on All That. Listen at your own risk.

We complete our Maaarch Madddness bracket to find out who the coolest X-Men is. Is it Juggernaut? No. It is not Juggernaut.

Get your brackets ready! We've got march madddness but we decided to talk about X-Men for an hour instead of talking about Zion's shoes. Friend and past guest @Lederman reveals the Blue Rocks' donut hotdog name (what are sweatmeats?) Why did we have 2 Corsair X-Men action figures? What if Shredder got all of his shit polished? What if Patrick was a metal man? Print Your Bracket and play along!

Who doesn't like waffles? Waffle fries, waffle cones filled with fried chicken and pork bellies and drizzled with delicious maple syrup, the list of our favorite waffles to eat at a baseball game goes on and on. Other topics: improving an 18th century baseball promotion, dodgebow, a tribute to Joe Auer.

Harry and Sky spend most of this episode discussing the NFL Scouting Combine AKA the NFL Chunin Exam: Didn't everybody go to college with a guy named "Kiki"? Deebo Samuel vs. Dabo Swinney D.K. Metcalf: "No Middle Sliders" come to life! It's the episode where we sing the DK64 Rap AND the Gilmore Girls theme song!

On this week's TTG: Bluto v Pete boxing match Tebow/Kaepernick QB duel in the AAF (TTG boys can dream, right?) Swolest POTUS contest Lionel Messi's Cool Hand Luke Hat Trick

Our 104-year-old Great-Great Aunt Jeanne passed away and we recorded this episode at Harry's apartment the night before her funeral. It is a singular document celebrating a life well-lived... so please excuse the audio quality, we promise this one is extra funny. Topics: Slam dunk contest winner Moises Alou; B A G E L   L O V E; "Don't be an E-Cig guinea pig," get high with Joe Biden instead! It's the episode fueled by 40-year-old Tanqueray that we found in Aunt Jeanne's apartment as we were cleaning it out (pour some out for Aunt Jeanne!).

Recovering from colds, Harry and Sky are kind of a mess this week, but that doesn't stop us from: Pairing Lo Balls with high balls (Lonzo, uh, Finds a Ball) Sharing Pokemon Red/Blue Safari Zone strategy Detailing the rules of beer pong baseball Looking up famous Chicago White Sox fans (Roger Ebert, Michael Jordan, et al)

We open the mystery sports junk that we bought each other on the Electronic Bay! Also: Memoirs of the Stadium Grille; How much is shipping from Switzerland? Is it safe to use a 30-year-old toothbrush? And the MVC: Most Valuable Canadian.  

Harry and Sky go to eBay to buy each other the dumbest, coolest sports shit they can find. Along the way: A size Mens/Womens??? The Tragedy of Dante Culpepper, a Tee Shirt. How much does the original Dandy costume sell for on eBay? $25? Tune in next time when we unbox the surprise packages we bought for each other.

How would you trick out a sport's Hall of Fame? With Hologram Tupac, obviously. On this ep we make (some very wrong) MLB HOF predictions. Other topics: best practices for showing your butt on TV, Carmen Sandiego game show with adult contestants.

A young Bruce Wayne models his super hero persona on the scariest thing about Space Jam: Wayne Knight. "I am vengeance. I am the Knight!" We enter the Knightoverse ft. Commissioner Jordan and the Knight Stick (Lil Wayne). Also: Are Nike's self-tightening shoes just Puma Click Cats? Are hoverboards real?

We check out the surprisingly robust character creation engine of the National Football League and apply Montster Factory's "no middle sliders" rule to every mascot in the NFL. Also: an elaborate con to buy the Rose Bowl and the Chargers; Harry's annual TTG performance review ft. the Fifth Beatle.

We talk bad bowl games and great football names on this week's episode. Harry says "nice" and "juicy." We look for a backup QB to send our tweets to. What if Gossamer and Grimace had a weird, gross baby? We both mispronounce "Geoduck." Remember, send any corrections or negative criticism to @damonhuard

Fresh for your Christmas stocking, the 2018 TTG Christmas Spectacular! We discuss the 1993 family sports comedy The Sandlot (dir. David Mickey Evans), by far the best movie we've watched for Throw The Game. Was puke big in the early '90s? When Hamilton says "You're killing me Smalls!" he's talking about Biggie, right? It's the episode where we talk about taking the SAT as full grown adults.

On Christmas Morning, the TTG 2018 Christmas Spectacular will drop! Your stocking stuffer this year will be a discussion of the 90s Childrens Sports Comedy Classic (TM), The Sandlot (1993, dir. David Mickey Evans). We invite you to watch along with your loved ones this Christmas. The Sandlot is streaming as part of subscriptions to DirecTV and HBOGo, can be rented to stream from Amazon Prime, iTunes, Google Play etc., and Sky found a good quality free stream at Archive Dot Org. As Harry reminds us, you can also dust off your old DVD or VHS(!) copy from your childhood.

Join us for the Season of Miracles as we discuss the Miracle in Miami and draft Decemberween characters for a pickup basketball game. Who will win: Harry's Bumbles or Sky's Bleak Midwinter? You decide! Also, we answer the following questions: Kirk Cameron or James Cameron? Who is allowed to be a Patriots fan? What does a Small Forward do? If James Naismith was Canadian, why is the Basketball Hall of Fame in Massachusetts?