Whiskey Wednesday Podcast

JCVD is Darren McCord, a French Canadian, ex firefighter, current fire marshal, lackluster father, tinkerer/engineer, and honestly knower of any skill he needs in the moment.  This movie isn't good but it's fun as hell.  Also, this movie showcases what if helicopter ignored physics?  Listen in and find out...or don't...I can't tell you what to do.

It's Jet Li, it's Luc Besson, it's wild.  Watch it.  Listen to us fawn over it.

Michael Douglas is Nick Conklin.  Andy Garcia plays a guy with two first names.  The manager from Mr. Baseball is in this movie, and is by far the best part of the movie.  Welcome to Black Rain, a buddy cop movie crossed with 30 seconds of WW2 commentary, crossed with landscape shots, crossed with Ridley Scott, crossed with...and I can't emphasize this enough, the word "Babe".  It's a noun, it's a verb, it's an adjective, it's a gerund, it's 17% of the script.  Also Nick rides bikes. That's important.

Another OG episode, standard stuff...Nolan pours, weird stories, Thomas gets roasted, etc etc etc.

Erik and Thomas discuss High Plains Drifter which means ghosts, assaults, weaklings, and lots of red paint.

Gunnery Sgt. Tom Highway would like to have a word with you.  He needs to impart his wisdom about drinking, being a marine, t-shirt rotation, beating up Scandinavians, crossway breezers, AK-47s, filling out forms, counterfeit stogies, physical fitness, vogue magazine, long showers, Korea, calling collect from a warzone, being demoted, and of course clusterfucks. This movie is a must watch classic about invading Grenada and we talk for WAY too long about it.  Also STITCH JONES?!

Brandon Lee...Powers Booth...Naked Dragon Lady sketches...what more could you want?  Oh it also takes place in Chicago which means we have a rogue's gallery of background Chicago actors whom also appeared in Code of Silence.  This was a really fun movie that I'm glad we found.

We watch a new installment of the Predator franchise, Prey.  It takes place in 1719.  The story follows a young Cherokee hunter and her quest to kill a worthy prey to prove her worth.  Uh oh, a Predator is in town and now she is the Prey!  This movie seems like it would be a ho hum affair but holy shit does it rock.  The sets, scenery, and costumes are killer.  The directing and pace are perfect.  The actors are wonderful.  The original Predator is a classic but this is a CLEAR #2 in the Predator movie power rankings, this is the closest someone has gotten to dethroning the Arnold classic.  Also, we are GD funny on this one, everything really came together.

Ray Tango and Gabriel Cash, they are America's sweethearts.  They are out to stop Jack Palance's city-wide drug empire and guess what...Tango and Cash are bad at it.  This is a movie that has a great 1st act and 3rd act, but one of the worst middles in a long time.  Oh and at the end, there is an armored truck with a mini gun that attacks an abandoned airfield that looks suspiciously like a dirt bike track.  It's all very strange, mostly fun, and thank god Kurt Russell is there to carry Sly.

We are late posting this but we watched Violent Night a few weeks after the holidays and it did not disappoint.  We have four hosts talking over each other about a new holiday classic.  A genuinely  fun movie and a full-on recommendation from us all.

This movie stars Chuck Norris.  Watch it.  Listen to it.  Be thankful.  Also Cragie sucks.

Our first Marky Mark flick is a tale of the world's most misunderstood spec ops team.  I cannot overstate how much that they are misunderstood, because their decision making is absolute garbage.  Marky Mark is a gigantic asshole who yells at his team, eventually gets them all killed, and like a complete sociopath instantly shrugs it off like he forgot his umbrella in a cab.  All told, its a straightforward action flick with one amazing redeeming quality...our man...IKO UWAIS

Another JCVD classic.  Tong Po has crippled Eric Sloane and it's up to Eric's brother Kurt to avenge him.  All it will take is a lot of training, a glib sensei, drunk dancing, and a shit ton of hawks.  Wrap your hands in hemp cord, dip them in glass, open a bottle of Mekong Spirit, and watch a must see film from the late 80's.

It's an ugly planet, a bug planet!  Our federation heroes are gonna kill 'em all...or at least die a lot before catching Jabba the Bug in a big net.  A Sci-fi classic from 1997 that shows us fascism, as government of the future, would be bad.  As if we needed to be told that.  This was a lot of fun to do, a shit ton of laughs along with some real craziness, VERY large plot holes, and VERY large actual holes.  Load your weapons, gather your remaining best friends, try to not die horribly, and you too can get a minor field promotion!  Welcome to the Roughnecks!

Charles Bronson is Jack Murphy, a burned out cop who has been framed for three murders.  This is a Cannon joint, Bronson is a bit older, and the premise is razor thin.  That all adds up to a very fun watch, Bronson is extra surly in this, and his counterpart Arabella McGee (Kathleen Wilhoite from Road House, ER, and other things) is given some of the worst dialogue you've ever heard.  Very little of this movie makes sense but it's worth a watch.

Crime is the disease and Marion "Cobra" Cobretti is the cure...but also he is a power crazed "health nut" cop who recommends you eat cheese instead of cake to stay healthy.  He also has a laser sight on his machine gun for day time shooting and plenty of hamburger based comedy.  We remembered this movie being more fun but it's absolutely worth a watch if you haven't seen it before.  It's a tribute to the 80's, robots, pizza scissors, and Reagan era crime panic.

We finally cover Bond 25, and the penultimate episode of Bottled in Bond?  It's a masterpiece and anyone whom says otherwise is frankly very wrong.  So many deaths, so many quips, possibly the most attractive female duo we've ever had, a top third villain, great cars, plenty of gadgets, drinking, set pieces...I could on for days.  If you have an issue with Bond's personal life choices or the ending then you are a cold person.  This movie rocks and we have a blast talking about it.

Back to basics.  We've got a classic Arnold movie, swords, sorcery, Wilt Chamberlain protecting a 14 year old princess's virtue...frankly a lot of weird choices but a damn entertaining movie.  Arnie is buff as shit, along with some old school special effects, and most importantly Thomas buying a Conan sword then surprising Erik with it around minute 10.  Bad decisions are the theme.  Listen or don't, I can't tell you what to do.

Buckle up for 3 hours of pure chaos, brought to you by 5 hosts in various states of inebriation and anger.  We talk whiskey, wine, beer, Bobby Bonilla Day, No time to Die, tipsy Amazon shopping, Car-Jitsu, the six simple machines (previously four), expensive Japanese caskets, expensive Japanese dog houses, LIV-Golf, Thomas spilling drinks, and much more.  It's a lot, listen at your own risk.

In honor of the 4th of July, we covered a weird American/Israeli jingoistic sizzle reel that is the Delta Force.  Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin, Steve James, Joey Bishop, George Kennedy, Martin Balsam, Shelley Winters, and so many more.  Not to mention more Uzis than you can shake a stick at plus rocket shooting motorcycles.  This is the movie I've seen the most.  Watch it, Love it, spray it with bullets.

You know that we are crazy for the Swayze, but when you add in John Wick, Gary Busey, and the gal from A League of Their Own?  Baby you've got yourself a stew going.  Tommy and Thomas break down this gem of a film.  Tommy is a Point Break stan, Thomas was a detractor but has since converted to the good word.  We talk bank robberies, beach full tackle football games, ACL reconstruction, drinking in an open office environment, dick bosses, weird gurus, Tom Sizemore, and most importantly all the 50 year storms coming your way.  Sit back, relax, and drink in a movie that is 35% surfing stunt man sizzle reels.

Robits versus Big Old Monsters!!  We got Jax Teller drifting with anyone really, more importantly we got some Idris Elba speeching it up.  This movie is dumb but my god it's so much fucking fun.  Tim and Thomas (with a guest!) have a blast breaking down a very funny, very flashy disaster movie.  It's a solid choice where things made an equal amounts of sense and zero sense.  Listen to this one, we were on our game.

I don't know what to say, really. 102 minutes of the biggest battle of our podcast lives all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a podcast or we're gonna crumble, inch by inch, play by play, 'til we're finished.We're in hell right now, gentlemen, believe me. And, we can stay here -- get the shit kicked out of us -- or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell one inch at a time.Now, I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I look around. I see these young unknown action stars, and I think -- I mean -- I made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.You know, when you get old in life things get taken from you. I mean that's...part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life's this game of inches. So is podcasting. Because in either game, life or podcasting, the margin for error is so small -- I mean one-half a step too late, or too early, and you don't quite understand what the fuck Nic Cage is doing. One-half second too slow, too fast, you don't understand why this movie was made.The movies we need are everywhere around us.They're in every break of life, every minute, every second.On this podcast, we fight for that inch. On this podcast, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch, because we know when we add up all those inches that's gonna make the fuckin' difference between winning and losing! Between livin' and watching shitty Nic Cage movies!I'll tell you this: In any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die against an amorphous predator look-alike who's gonna win that inch. And I know if I'm gonna have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willin' to face CGI shuriken and die in a weird first person dutch angle shot. Because that's what livin' is! The six inches in front of your face!! That's where there's a camera filming you as you react to nothingness!Now I can't make you do it. You got to look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes! Now I think you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this podcast because he knows, when it comes down to it, you're gonna do the same for him!That's a podcast, gentleman!And, either we heal, now, as a podcast, or we will die as individuals.That's action movie podcasts guys.That's all it is.Now, what are you gonna do?!

There are twins, they're named Chad and Alex.  Chad is a Paris/LA guy who is flexible and proclaims to have a huge surprise.  Alex head butts people whilst smoking stogies.  Terrible green screen is aplenty in this movie along with the normal action tropes of guns that don't need to be reloading, lesbian panic, mustaches, evil brits, and penthouse models.  This was a fairly average movie to watch but we found plenty to talk about.  BEWARE: there are several 15 minute tangents in here.

Buckle up for the experience that is Gino Folino (I may have spelled that wrong).  This is a story of revenge, vengeance, shifting accents, plot holes, the destruction of car suspensions, cleavers, and cracked orbital bones due to cue balls.  We discussed where in the world is Richie, prostitution police codes, mid 80s sedans, animal safety, weird animal naming, fatherly disappointment and knife sharpening, but most of all Seagal's possible bipolar-ness.  This was a wild ride, a lot of fun, and endlessly discussable.

It's easy to forget sometimes that not all action movies are made for the good old US of A.  This week's cinematic masterpiece was clearly targeting toward eastern and southeastern Asian market.  We've got Tony Jaa (Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, Fast and Furious 7), Iko Uwais (The Raid and The Raid: Redemption), Tiger Hu Chen (Matrix Reloaded, Matrix Revolutions, John Wick 3, Scott Adkins (Expendables 2, Doctor Strange), and Michael Jai White (Black Dynamite, Spawn, The Dark Knight) all kicking ass in a symphony of fights and gun play.  Made on a fairly modest budget, we see mostly practical effects that look great, especially the robust amount of squibs.  The martial arts are a steady escalation of awesomeness.  The plot is...there.  Lots to like in this one, rent or buy this on Amazon.  You shan't regret it.

We gathered up again with all 5 hosts for a night of revelry and mutually assured jackassery.  Our whiskey was A Fistful of Bourbon which was somewhat divisive among our group. We drank two great beers: Perennial Artisan Ales Savant Beer 2017 and Cascade Brewing Peche Fume 2017.  Other topics discussed include: Box office busts, Hunger Games Dream Team, Eraser 2, Sandra Bullock, Japanese Lace Boxer Briefs for men, and a truly ridiculous triumvirate of stories about women whom love inanimate objects...in increasing levels of awkwardness...but good for them?  We also have questions for the room and a check in on what notable wrestlers have passed since we last met.It was loud.  It was fun.  It was nonsense.  It was an O.G. Whiskey Wednesday.

Do you like bazookas and I mean REALLY like bazookas?  Well this is the movie for you.  Chuck Norris stars as Matt Hunter, retired CIA agent and America's only hope when his soviet arch nemesis bands all of America's enemies together (not dissimilar to Mance Rayder in GoT) to take of the US of A.  The invasion never really leaves south florida but according to the news, the entire democracy is teetering on the knife's edge...thank your lucky stars that Chuck is there to brave all sorts of dangers: Racist bars, fan boat assassins, grocery store riots, reporters, just driving down the street, fake military police, and rocket launcher duels all to save the US (or at least Miami) from falling into anarchy.Also, Chuck has a pet armadillo in this movie...I don't know what to do with that, just going to leave it here.

Another round of Sean Connery, mercifully he is wearing more clothes than he was in Zardoz.  This is a movie we didn't know about going in.  A sort of murder mystery/drug police story or Io, a moon of Jupiter.  Sean Connery stars as the sawed off shotgun wielding marshal of a corporate mining colony.  He must solve a series of deaths and eventually realizes that the corporation isn't (GASP!) trustworthy.  We get loads of shotguns, star wars rip offs, Sean Connery running pretty well, keycards, body bags, weird red drugs, Cliff from Cheers, General Orlov from Octopussy, and a finale battle on the side of a pyramid on the 3rd moon largest moon of Jupiter.  The stakes couldn't be any more medium, join us as Sean Connery skirts regulations to bring justice to an non-OSHA compliant mining facility in space.Also in Danish, this movie was called "Rumstation Jupiter"...so great.

We discuss the 4th worst movie ever, Tommy and Erik loved it.  Thomas and Katie were based in reality, you tell me who's crazy.  Sly Stallone stars in this film that has a kick ass 1st act, but stalls in the middle before a relative benign 3rd act.  John Lithgow has a hard to place and crazy accent that we were obsessed with.  I spent most of the podcast doing a mediocre to passable Sly impression, it's not great.  Join us won't you for a meandering conversation about the 2nd best 1993 movie from Sly Stallone.

Were you under the impression that this is a Bruce Lee movie?  So was I.  It's actually a Bruce Leroy movie...seriously that's the main character's name.  This is a tale about martial arts, music videos, pizza, local arcade magnates, backup singers to Prince, the Shogun of Harlem, and a mysterious force known as "The Glow".  What is the glow?  Who is the glow?  Where is law enforcement during all of this movie?  Why is everyone so sweaty?  But most importantly can bad special effects save this movie?  No. We watched The Last Dragon and had plenty of tangents as usual.

The name's Action...Action Jackson.  Carl Weathers absolutely should have been a bigger action movie star, this movie kicks ass.  It's only 90 minutes but there is so much to love in this one: an "invisible" hit squad, Carl Weathers being absolutely CUT, an early super hot Sharon Stone, comedy, action, a hero running 30 mph...I could go on.  Finally, this movie has sooooo many 80s action character actors.  Seriously, you can spend most of the night going "I know that person from somewhere".  The movie was 90 minutes, we went 180 minutes, an absolute blast.

For the first time we tackle a reboot of a movie we've already covered.  In fact, it was the first hasta movie we ever did: Total Recall.  Colin Farrell replaces Arnie, Kate Beckinsale replaces Sharon Stone and Michael Ironsides, and Jessica Biel is there with some kick ass pants.  Also, no Mars this time.  It was a shiny movie, it was an unnecessary movie, but was it a bad movie?  Listen won't you and find out? 

We delve into Burt Reynolds and his magnificent backlog of films, and boy was it an underwhelming start.  Gator McClusky is our paragon.  He is also an antagonist.  He is felon, he runs illegal shine, and he is hell behind the wheel.  His continuing adventures in the deep south have him running into villains such as JC Connors and Bama McCall.  Through all of this he is barely redeemable, only because the rest of the characters are absolute utter shitbags...especially Bama McCall and his preference for underage women.  These movies are an absolute grab-bag of craziness.  If you should dare to watch them, we would suggest a bevy of potent potables. 

Tom Hanks and the jerks at Apple bring you a heartwarming story about a wonderful doggo and his complete shit bag of an owner.  Also, it's an apocalyptical dystopian future where a solar flare has nuked the earth (except for Saint Louis) in 5-10 years.  This movie makes Castaway look like a Michael Bay movie, legit nothing happens in this film...hence the short run time of the pod.  With barely anything to chat about, we just trashed this movie...Tom Hanks played the part and there were robots...but somehow that still didn't equate to anything redeemable.  Share our pain, won't you?

An unwanted Xmas present from us to you, another OG Whiskey Wednesday!  The OG WWs are becoming almost quarterly at this point and we had a almost full table to boot.  We tried Jefferson's Rye Whiskey Finished in Cognac Casks, Three different types of Goose Island Bourbon County Stout, as well as finishing the pod with a bottle of Papa Pilar Aged Rum Ernest Hemmingway edition.  We also chatted about pop-up bars, Star Wars experience hotel, camel beauty contests, and more.  Join us as the entire table proceeds to verbally keelhaul Thomas for the opening 15 minutes.

Whoop that trick! It's hard out here for a pimp!  These "hits" and others on this edition of Ladies Choice.  We watched the 2005 MTV movie classic Hustle and Flow.  Did I think this movie was about a dance competition?  Yes.  Was it?  No!  It's about a Memphis pimp trying to make it in the hip hop industry.  We've got Terrance Howard, Anthony Anderson, DJ Qualls for some reason, and Ludacris!  This is one of our louder podcasts but super fun...it's also the first podcast we have recorded in Illinois which was scary but a nice learning experience.

We did a commentary track for Mission Impossible 3.  We were not very sober and the sound also is soft in spots...I bet you can't wait to listen!  Well, it's here if you want it.

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!...Michael Bay is coming at you in full force.  It's the story of Lincoln Six Echo and Jordan Two Delta, aka Ewan McGregor and ScarJo.  They are essentially clones whom have the mental acuity of a 14 year olds and are cloned organ farms for the rich and powerful.  This movie invented the lens flare, running, and OVER ACTING!  Also, the musical score is unfathomably stupid.

We are back to a movie starring the owner of the Lone Wolf Ranch, Lone Wolf McQuade himself, Chuck Norris.  Ignore the punctuation in that last sentence.  We dive into what could be considered Chuck's best movie.  Have you ever thought I want a western, action, drug movie, set in El Paso, where the hero is a degenerate drunk Texas Ranger with interesting family dynamics?  Yes?  Fantastic, also the titular "Lone Wolf" is never alone in this movie.  It's a hell of ride, enjoy it as much as we did because this is a long recording.

The rare OG Whiskey Wednesday, we tried three different whiskies...and it wasn't a complete disaster!  We also talked about drug using dolphins, a man who joins a search party for himself, recasting favorite TV shows, questions for the room, and much more.  A lot of fun per usual, we hope to do these more frequently in the future.

This seems familiar...oh wait it's another time loop movie, one of our favorite types of SciFi.  This time it's the Frank Grillo vehicle, Boss Level.  Available on Hulu, this was a really easy and fun watch.  It has comedy, action, weird Mel Gibson, Michelle Yeoh (a WW favorite), over 200 loops of the same day, and much more.  We also tried a spirit we've never had before but showed up in the movie, Baijiu...it's certainly intoxicating.

Julia Robert's...brother stars in the Best of the Best.  Also James Earl Jones yells at everyone in this movie including a mostly racist Chris Penn.  This is a Karate/Judo/Taw Kwon Do/Kickboxing movie filmed for not a lot of money, everything is weirdly truncated...there are 4 or 9 montages but they are all less than two minutes long.  Eric Roberts is chewing the hell out of the scenery in this one.  Oh, "Korea" is the villain for some reason.

The year is 1993, the people are crying out for the two biggest movies stars to do a movie together, well goddamn it Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes are not those movies stars.  But they did in fact do a movie together, it's called Rising Sun.  A murder at a Japanese corporation, constant rain in LA, Connery is an expert on Japan...you know what there are a lot of bold/weird choices in this one.  In any case, we did a commentary track on it if you want to queue this sucker up and join us.

ZARDOZ!  Well, we finally took the plunge and covered what is widely regarded as one of the worst movies of all time.  We both liked it for very different reasons, thankfully this movie is long.  If nothing else, this is the strangest movies we've ever done…and folks that is really saying something.

We've said it before but this is truly a movie that you NEED to watch if you are a fan of action movies or spoof movies.  It's complete absurdity for 90 minutes, we had a tremendous time watching it and talking about it.  Michael Jai White kicks ass and is genuinely hilarious as the titular Black Dynamite.  Also a shout out to my personal favorite character, CHOCOLATE GIDDYUP!!!

It's space + horror this time around with Event Horizon.  We've got science up the wazoo in this one from folding space to black holes to G force crash couches...and most of the time the science is pretty decent.  Toss in some Latin, a gateway to hell, some shitty CGI, some good CGI, and Sam Neill's character's dead wife...baby you got a space stew going.  This is a great movie.

Jeff Motherf*cking Speakman!  Why didn't this man have more movies.  Every single Asian character actor is in this too...also RU...FI...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  This was genuinely a fun, movie with a slab of wood as the lead actor...but that slab of wood can kick ass.

An all star-ish cast in an all time terrible disaster movie and yet it's incredibly fun.  Gerry Butler, Abbie Cornish, Andy Garcia, Ed Harris, Zazie Beetz, and others are part of a cautionary tale of global warming, corruption, satellites, sibling rivalries, being a terrible father, movies made for overseas markets, and most importantly DUTCH BOY!  Drink every time dutch boy is said...better yet don't...that's a bad bad bad idea.

A legendarily good bad movie as Charles Bronson reprises his role as Paul Kersey.  This movie is crazy in every sense of the word...we've got mail order rocket launchers, booby traps galore, a horrific director, Deanna Troi, and Bill S Preston Esq.  Drinks and this movie are an amazing idea...seriously watch it.

A rare bottled in bond episode in which we go head to head in Bond trivia using the 007 Scene It game. Although half the battle was trying to figure out the game itself.