Counseling On Demand

Resistance is generally used in a positive sense, and of course, can be a good thing. But it can also hold you back from getting yourself to where you want to be mentally.  Likewise, confrontation usually carries a negative sense.  We tend to want to avoid confrontation right?  But what if confronting our resistance is the best way to get better?

We love to people watch, especially at the mall. Or at the store.  Or at The Fair..  Or at a dance recital.  Let's face it, people can be fun to watch

In fact, they can be a GREAT thing!  With modern technology we can reach out to friends and family, read the news, even listen to podcasts (wink wink!) But you can also use various apps on your phone to get your mental health both checked and treated. Today Dr. Fred shares some various mental health apps you can use 

Today we're looking at some examples of "what were THEY thinking" from the internet.  Now we know the internet has an abundance of these sort of things, so Dr. Fred has picked a couple of examples to share with us so that we can look at our own little quirks and see that we're not alone.

Friends are the ones who are there for us, and we like to be there for them. Not all of us are therapists, but that's not always the kind of help our friends need. Here's some tips on how to help our friends when they need it, and how to communicate with our friends when we need help from them!

Your marriage needs nourishment just like a tree does.  If it goes without, it dies, becomes brittle and nothing more than a plain old stick.  Today Fred goes over the many similarities between a tree and your relationship, and how you can use this comparison to strengthen your own marriage.

Of course, those with military experience are very likely to have various levels of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but those four scary letters can be a result of your everyday life too. Today Fred takes on PTSD and how to deal with triggers and responses when the past creeps back into the present.

It's hard to face the fact that people in the world are going to judge us. Sometiems unfairly, sometimes harshly, and on the rare occasion, justly. How to handle being judged..  That's a tough one. How do we make ourselves feel as confident with others opinions as we portray. It's easy to say that it doesn't bother us.  But it does, and it's not fair. Here are some tips on how to handle judgement.

Everyone faces tragedy differently. I'm not just talking about loss here, the term tragedy could mean a lot of different things. A change in job or relationship, and illness, or sustaining a major injury also go int he same category.  How we deal with tragedy depends on who were are, and it's never as simple as "getting over it" or "moving on"

Our producer, Jon has a problem. He CONSTANTLY misplaces things. Is this normal?  Turns out, yes it is! In fact men are more likely to misplace things than women. It's science.  We'll discuss in this week's WHAT WAS I THINKING WEDNESDAY!

Now more than ever we see attractive people who just have everything together.  Rockstars, movie icons, and now thanks to social media, our own friends, families, and neighbors. But how much of them are we seeing? More often than you think, the people you see as put together and seem to "have it all" are dealing with insecurity, anxiety, and even depression.  Just like us! Could that make them..  gasp.  Normal!? Let's discuss on today's episode!

Dr. Fred falls victim to an online video that was just to good to be true!  How often does that happen to you?  If not a video, a picture that's been photoshopped.  Maybe a news article that looks to be from an official source. Things have evolved in the ol' rumor mill so today we'll discuss some of the funny things we see.

In fact, let's talk about the MIDDLE, middle child... There are a lot of things said about kids in the middle. Some of them true, others not so much. So let's discuss! Some of the things that make the middle children among us so great are also some of the things that make being a middle child so challenging.

We've all been wronged at some point. How long should we wait before automatically forgiving someone? I'm talking about those times when someone straight up blasts you and walks away without giving you an apology. It's good to forgive and forget, but we're all human and sometimes that's difficult.

You know how it is, you buy something that requires "some assembly". You look at the instructions and then throw them away. Even though it's likely you'll need them later, you still toss them in the trash!   Also, ever notice that when people pick up salad tongs the first thing they do is clink them together a few times before using them? What's up with that?

The self-proclaimed "King Of All Media" has recently become more open about his mental health, and his use of therapy to help himself feel more comfortable. It's hard to imagine a guy that makes more than $100,000,000 a year feeling bad about himself right? But his battles with anxiety, compulsive disorder, and depression are all spelled out. Utah Radio Personality, Jon Smith joins Fred for a talk about life in the public eye, and what happens when your fans don't want to move on from your past success.

Every so often something in our world changes. We lose a job, a loved one, get divorced..  When something like this happens in our life we tend to classify our world as before and after. But what about IN BETWEEN?  Let's talk about how we get from before to after.  How do we figure out who we are once "before" is no longer "now".

What Was I Thinking Wednesday!  The day we look at some of our mistakes, and decisions that may not reflect us at our best...  Today, it's themed around "Dont touch that" Whatever it is..  Wet paint, caution, hot!..  Sometimes we all want to touch whatever it is the sign is telling us not to.

Stress.  We all have it.  For some of us, even seeing the word "stress" stresses us out. We all handle stress differently and this week Dr. Fred Riley takes some time to help us identify, manage, and even reduce our daily stress.  For some of us, we may even realize that not all stress is a bad thing!

Continuing our conversation from earlier this week about grief, loss, and all the possible ways of dealing and overcoming the stress and emotions that come with it.  Let's learn to heal, and deal with our grief.

Let's face it, sometimes we make mistakes.  But what about when we make those same mistakes over and over.  What about those times when we know it's a mistake but we do it anyway?   Even those times when we're completing a project, or performing a task where we KNOW it should be done a certain way, but we decided to take a different route.. What are we thinking?!

It's something we'll all deal with at some point.  Grief.   How do we deal with grief?  We've heard of the stages of loss, but are those accurate? Are they the same for everyone?  Today Fred Riley takes on the fear of loss, and how to deal with grief in part one of this weeks topic.

It's time to give ourselves a break, as well as a pat on the back.  We're all getting better, and better each and every day. Don't believe us? Well, here's seven (or is it eight?) ways that you rock!

Why is it that some people will hold loyalty to a person, team, or thought even after they're proven wrong?  Is it more important to us to be loyal than correct?   Is it group thinking? Mob mentality? What are we thinking?

It seems that school shootings are becoming more common. But it's not just shootings, bullying, suicide, depression, and anxiety are all very much a problem for our kids.  How can we deal with these high profile situations better when they come across our screens and headlines? What resources do our students have when it comes to dealing with these issues? 

Recently, a guy.  We'll call him "Jon" was working as a wedding DJ.  Something he's done professionally for over two decades.  But this time, he was DJing a wedding for a family that had by coincidence invited some high school friends of Jon.  What happened when these friends told him he should play a song that was highly inappropriate for the setting?  Well, let's just say it left him wondering "What was I thinking?"

Many of us do, and may not even know it.  A "zombie parasite" is that person that makes it all about them. They take and take, and give nothing back. Just like an actual parasite, they can be tricky. They can change their surroundings to help them grow and even take over their host. Unfortunately for some, the zombie parasite turns out to be a close friend, or even a family member. Today Dr. Riley will help us identify potential parasites in our lives, and help us with ways to deal with them.

We all have at least one friend or family member that you don't discuss certain topics with. But what about our friends that we want to engage or debate certain things with? How do we keep ourselves civil and polite when important matters come up in conversation? Dr. Fred Riley helps navigate the muddy water between the issues and the relationship.

We've all heard that we should be bold, different, stand out! Yet, it's in our nature to follow the group.  Today Dr. Fred Riley explains group behavior and even shares his own experience with following the crowd.

Recently it's all about something called the "MOMO Challenge".  A challenge that supposedly pops up in kids videos on Youtube and tells our kids to do dangerous things. Turns out much of what we heard was an overreaction. But was it a hoax?  Not exactly. MOMO is just another example of chain letters and ghost stories that we all grew up with. Only now this is much more serious thanks to the internet. So was it real?  Yes.  And no. 

Today we discuss the tradition of moving. In this case, specifically moving Fred's office furniture from one side of town to the other. With a slight pause to retrieve a couch that flew out of the truck on the freeway. Why didn't you tie it down Fred? What were you thinking?!

Ever feel like your friends and neighbors are more put together than you because of social media? Well, you're not alone! In fact, it's likely they feel the same about you. After all, it's not like you post unflattering images of your life online. Today Fred Riley tells us how to separate fiction from reality when sharing in your friend's adventures online.

Let's say a neighbor approaches you and is accusing you of ripping them off.  They're angry.  They're yelling, screaming.  Possibly even threatening to retaliate.  What is the proper response?  Obviously there is a misunderstanding of some sort, but how do you de-escalate this situation while not compromising your own integrity?  Drank Riley has that and more in this edition of Counseling On Demand.

Some parents think what was I thinking even getting into this job. Fred was thinking about hard parenting and fatherhood can be. The dad jokes are strong in this episode. Fred talks about his personal transition from dad jokes to magic tricks. Online: gettingback2life.com Instagram: @rileycounseling

No matter how old you are, or where you are in life. Chances are you've had those moments where you question your own worth.  This episode, Dr. Frank gives us tips on how to find your smile, no matter how long it's been since these doubts first entered your life.  Then helps us return to the point where we knew how much value we have.

We all have them. Even children as young as a year old. Research about devices like tablets and phones has finally started to come out so we can finally start understanding the impact they can have on adults and children. Parents know, getting a child on a device to listen can be nearly impossible. We also talk about studies that look at a link between depression and devices. Enjoy the content? Give us a rating and review.

Human rating is the extent to which we compare ourselves to other people. Our talents, abilities, possessions, all get rated against other people. On the positive side, human rating can motivate us to do better. But it can also really weigh us down.

Individuals with depression are good pretenders. They become masters at flying under the radar and hiding their depression. Maybe this describes you or someone in your life. People think of sadness when they think of depression. Yes, that's part of it, but there are other symptoms as well. Lack of interest in things, trouble sleeping, fatigue, poor appetite, excessive worry. Do you find yourself "what iffing"? Speculating on the bad things that might happen? Do you have other self- defeating thoughts?

You've been in a restaurant and noticed your spouse totally disconnected. Maybe you've seen people that should be connected, but they're totally not. Their face is down in a device. Letting a device interrupt a moment sends a message of rejection.

Here are a few things you can do with your spouse as a booster shot for emotional intimacy. Everyone's relationship is in a different place and this may be an uncomfortable place to go, but this podcast is about change. Emotional intimacy are feelings that are shared toward each other. Shared experiences bring us together and helps us think about each other more. These experiences can be both happy and sad, but they help keep us together.

Fred is using the metaphor of imagining yourself as a house for his lesson on keeping arguments out of the bedroom. It is important to have a place that you can rely on as a safe base. This can save so many fights and arguments in marriages or relationships. Online: gettingback2life.com Instagram: @rileycounseling

It's called re-fueling and it is essential to being successful and happy. Re-fueling is a break from your normal and taking a break is OK. Re-fueling can mean different things based on your personality type. Introverts and extroverts have very different ways of re-fueling.  Online: gettingback2life.com Instagram: @rileycounseling