Fake Love and Flying Monkeys

Have you been blamed for the very abuse you endured? Did the narcissist tell everyone you were the toxic one—while playing the victim themselves?Www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au In this episode,  I break down one of the most devastating tactics narcissists use after a breakup: DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) and the smear campaign. Learn how they manipulate others, twist reality, and destroy reputations—while leaving you to pick up the pieces.We'll talk about:Why narcissists accuse you of the very things they've doneHow smear campaigns are set up and why people fall for themWhat to do when no one believes your side of the storyHow to reclaim your identity, peace, and power—without needing to prove anything to anyoneWhether you're co-parenting with a narcissist, navigating a false narrative, or trying to heal in isolation, this episode will give you the validation, strategy, and support you need.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Want to support the channel? Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

They ghost you, block you, abuse you—then pop up like nothing ever happened. Why?In this eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we unpack one of the most confusing behaviours in narcissistic abuse: when the narcissist reappears with selective amnesia and zero accountability. Whether they send a flirty text, a casual “hey,” or act like everything's fine after days (or weeks) of cruel silence, there's always a strategy behind it.Www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au I explain exactly what this behaviour means, why it's not love or remorse, and what you can do to protect yourself when they try to slither back in.

What happens when the narcissist doesn't just come after you—but starts poisoning your child's mind against you? And worse—what happens when the court system believes it's your fault?Www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au In this raw, eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we're diving into the heartbreaking experience of narcissistic parental alienation—when the narcissist manipulates your child and weaponises them to hurt you, isolate you, and destroy your bond.Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here This isn't just messy co-parenting. It's psychological warfare.  They don't co-parent. They counter-parent.We also unpack how this manipulation often gets misread in family court. Protective, loving parents—who are desperately trying to shield their kids from harm—are often accused of parental alienation, while the narcissist walks away with a smile and a custody agreement.If you've ever felt like you're being erased from your child's life by a narcissist who's playing the long game… this episode is your validation. You're not alone. You're not imagining it. And no—this is not your fault.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

Have you ever noticed how the narcissist in your life seems to get annoyed—or even angry—when you're finally doing well? When you're smiling, thriving, feeling peaceful... they suddenly go cold, start a fight, or make a snarky comment that sucks the joy right out of the room?Www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we unpack the painful truth behind why narcissists hate when you're happy.Narcissists feel deeply threatened by your confidence, independence, and emotional growth—because it reminds them of what they're lacking and what they can't control. Your happiness represents your freedom, and freedom means they're losing power.We explore:Why narcissists are triggered by your good mood, laughter, and lightnessHow they subtly (or not-so-subtly) sabotage your joyThe emotional manipulation tactics they use to steal your peaceWhy they downplay your wins or guilt-trip you for having funThe connection between your happiness and their loss of controlWhat it really means when they pick a fight right before you leave for an eventWhy your joy makes you a “threat” in the eyes of a narcissistIf you've ever felt confused about why someone would punish you for being okay, this episode offers clarity, validation, and insight into one of the most emotionally draining patterns in narcissistic abuse.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Want to support the channel? Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Narcissists don't just leave you—they discard you with intent. And it's never kind, never clean. In this powerful episode, I revea 7 of the most horrific ways narcissists discard their victims—each one designed to shock, shame, and cause maximum pain.(More information on this available on my website www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au)From cold ghosting and public humiliation, to triangulating with the new supply and recruiting flying monkeys to finish the job—this isn't love. It's emotional destruction disguised as a breakup.If you've been discarded and feel like you're losing your mind, this episode will show you:⚠️ You're not crazy.⚠️ You're not alone.⚠️ You were targeted by someone who needed control, not connection.

What happens when your mother-in-law acts more like the jealous ex than the proud parent? In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into one of the most emotionally exhausting dynamics a woman can face: navigating life with a narcissistic mother-in-law who sees you as competition—not family.From constant criticism to controlling behaviour, narcissistic mothers-in-law often believe they hold the number one spot in their son's heart—and anyone who threatens that position is seen as the enemy. You'll hear real-life examples of women caught in the crossfire of toxic in-law relationships, including the subtle manipulation, emotional blackmail, and triangulation that turns what should be a joyful family connection into a confusing and painful power struggle.We explore how narcissistic mothers-in-law undermine parenting decisions, interfere with your relationship, and create chaos under the guise of “just being helpful.” We also talk about the damage it causes when your partner is either completely oblivious to the manipulation—or worse, supports it.You'll learn what these dynamics look like, why they happen, and how to spot the signs of covert narcissism within the family system. Whether your partner is still emotionally enmeshed with his mother or has become a passive participant in the dysfunction, this episode unpacks the emotional toll it takes on you as the daughter-in-law.We also examine the long-term impact on your mental health, your relationship, and your children, especially when boundaries are repeatedly ignored and your voice is dismissed. From power struggles over parenting to passive-aggressive guilt trips and smear campaigns, we break down how this toxic dynamic plays out behind closed doors—and how easy it is to internalise the blame.If you've ever been made to feel like the “other woman” in your own marriage, if you've walked on eggshells around family gatherings, or if you've questioned your sanity after being emotionally sidelined by a manipulative in-law, this episode is for you.This raw and validating conversation sheds light on a taboo topic that's more common than people realise—and offers understanding for anyone trying to survive the emotional battlefield of a narcissistic in law.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Want to support the channel? Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Struggling with narcissistic abuse recovery as an adult child of a narcissist? Do you feel overwhelming guilt when setting boundaries with toxic parents—even when you know it's the healthiest thing you can do?You're not alone.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I dive deep into the emotional conditioning that narcissistic parents use over a lifetime to keep you trapped in fear, obligation, and guilt. I explore the complex reality of being one of many adult children of narcissists, where saying “no” feels wrong, loving yourself feels selfish, and healing childhood trauma means unlearning everything you were taught about love, loyalty, and guilt.I break down the psychological tools narcissistic mothers and fathers use—like emotional abuse from parents, trauma bonding, and guilt after going no contact—to keep you stuck in patterns of people-pleasing and self-abandonment.You'll hear:Why narcissistic family dynamics are built on control, not connectionHow toxic parent relationships make you feel responsible for their happinessReal stories from survivors working through narcissistic parenting woundsWhy choosing yourself isn't selfish—it's survivalPractical steps for surviving narcissistic parenting and reclaiming your powerIf you're navigating the pain of breaking free from family manipulation, or still wondering why you feel so guilty for protecting your peace, this episode offers the clarity and validation you've been searching for. Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Want to support the channel? Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of domestic violence, murder-suicide, and police-perpetrated abuse. Please take care while listening.In this powerful and heartbreaking episode, Bruce Bieber joins us to share the story no parent should ever have to tell — the murder of his daughter, Hillsborough County Sheriff's Deputy Abigail Rose Bieber, by her boyfriend and fellow deputy, Daniel Leyden, in an officer-involved domestic violence (OIDV) murder-suicide in January 2022.Abby had planned to end the relationship during a weekend away in St. Augustine. What neither she nor her family knew was that Leyden had a prior domestic violence history — one that was known to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office but never acted upon meaningfully. When Bruce and his family began asking questions, they were met with silence, deflection, and eventually complete shutdown by HCSO.Bruce shares the gut-wrenching journey from grief to advocacy — his fight to uncover the truth, the betrayal by law enforcement leadership, and his mission to push for mandatory OIDV policies and accountability nationwide.This conversation is not just about Abby. It's about the wider, deeply hidden epidemic of domestic violence committed by those sworn to protect — and the systemic failures that allow it to continue.If you've ever wondered what happens when the abuser wears a badge — this is the episode you need to hear.

Weddings should be one of the happiest days of your life—but when you have a narcissistic parent, they often become a masterclass in manipulation, guilt-tripping, and sabotage. In this episode, we're unpacking the emotionally exhausting tactics narcissistic mothers, fathers, or in-laws use to hijack your big day and make it all about them.From passive-aggressive comments during the engagement, to dress code drama, unsolicited planning control, and even last-minute emotional meltdowns—this episode explores the subtle and not-so-subtle ways narcissistic parents attempt to stay centre stage. We'll also dive into how they use weddings to maintain power, enforce control through financial strings, and stir conflict between you and your partner or in-laws.If you've ever felt like your wedding was more about managing someone else's ego than celebrating your love, you're not alone. This episode also explores why your partner may not see the manipulation, how trauma bonding and childhood conditioning can create blind spots, and the emotional impact of facing smear campaigns or guilt after the wedding is over.Whether you're planning a wedding, reflecting on one that didn't go as planned, or trying to support someone in this exact situation, this episode offers deep insight into narcissistic family dynamics, emotional abuse, and the psychology behind sabotage during milestone events.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Ever been accused of cheating by a narcissist — even when you've been nothing but loyal? This episode dives into one of their most toxic manipulation tactics: projection.We explore why narcissists often blame their partners for cheating while they're the ones actually betraying the relationship. This behaviour is deeply confusing and emotionally exhausting, often leaving victims in a cycle of denial, guilt, and over-explaining. But behind the false accusations lies a calculated strategy to control, distract, and destabilise.Learn how projection protects the narcissist's false self, shifts blame, and keeps you in a constant state of defence. We unpack how this tactic ties into narcissistic supply, gaslighting, and the broader cycle of emotional abuse.If you've ever questioned yourself after being unfairly accused, this episode will help you understand the deeper motives behind the narcissist's behaviour — and why it was never about you.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Why do narcissists discard their partners in such sudden, cold, and brutal ways? Why is there never closure — only silence, blame, or replacement with someone new? In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the psychology of the narcissist's discard phase and why it feels so horrific.This stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle is where the mask truly drops. After months or years of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional control, the narcissist walks away without empathy, explanation, or remorse. Whether you were ghosted, publicly humiliated, or immediately replaced with new supply, the discard is designed to destabilise and devalue you one final time.We unpack:✔️Why the discard is so sudden and savage✔️How narcissists use new supply to inflict pain✔️The emotional aftermath for the victim✔️Why trauma bonding keeps you stuck post-discard✔️How to start untangling from their controlIf you've ever been discarded by a narcissist, this episode will help you understand that it was never your fault — it was part of a toxic pattern rooted in control, not love.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

Why does it feel like the covert narcissist always knows how to ruin your mood—right before a party, dinner, or important event? If you've ever found yourself crying in the bathroom or cancelling plans because of a last-minute argument, this episode is for you.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I (Nova Gibson, narcissistic abuse counsellor and author of Fake Love) unpack exactly why covert narcissists pick fights before you go out—and how this emotionally manipulative tactic is actually a form of social sabotage and control.In fact, I was recently interviewed by Mamamia, Australia's largest women's media platform, to talk about this exact phenomenon—known as “Occasion Theory.” You can read the full, incredibly relatable article here

Why do narcissists seem obsessed with keeping access to your emotions—even after they've discarded you or moved on to someone new?In this powerful episode of Fake Love & Flying Monkeys, I break down why narcissists hoard your emotions as a form of control, dominance, and emotional manipulation. From love bombing to passive-aggressive guilt trips, I expose the ways narcissists use your emotional reactions as narcissistic supply—fueling their ego and avoiding their own emptiness.Learn:Why narcissists panic when you detach emotionallyHow your anger, tears, and even silence serve their need for controlWhat emotional hoarding looks like post-breakupHow to protect your energy and fully detach from the narcissist's gripIf you're feeling drained, confused, or like you're still "on the hook" emotionally—this episode will give you clarity, validation, and practical strategies to take your emotional power back!Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

If you've escaped a relationship with a narcissist, you know the damage runs deep. From shattered self-worth to constant self-doubt, the aftermath of narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling like a shell of who you used to be. But healing is possible—and it starts with real, practical steps.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, host Nova Gibson—lead trauma-informed counsellor and author of Fake Love—shares 6 concrete, no-fluff healing strategies you can begin using right now to rebuild your confidence, trust your gut again, and reconnect with your true self.You can order your copy of Nova's best-selling book Fake Love  - Understanding and healing from narcissistic abuse here

If you've ever walked away from a narcissistic relationship feeling confused, unstable, or like you've lost your grip on reality, you're not alone. In this episode, we break down why narcissistic abuse leaves you feeling crazy, emotionally exhausted, and unable to trust your own instincts. From gaslighting and manipulation to trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance, we unpack the psychological tactics narcissists use to keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. Whether you were in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, parent, or coworker, this episode will help you make sense of the chaos, regain clarity, and understand how emotional abuse impacts your nervous system, mental health, and sense of identity.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Are you constantly second-guessing yourself in a relationship that once felt perfect? Do you find yourself apologising for things you didn't do or trying harder just to keep the peace? This episode dives deep into the covert, subtle, and often overlooked manipulation tactics narcissists use to control, confuse, and emotionally exhaust their victims.From disguised insults and emotional withdrawal to rewriting history and passive-aggressive forgetfulness, narcissistic abuse isn't always loud or obvious — and that's exactly why it's so dangerous. This episode explores specific narcissistic abuse tactics that are often mistaken for everyday relationship dynamics, including conditional affection, guilt-tripping,  and sabotage masked as concern.If you've ever felt like your reality is being distorted, your independence threatened, or your confidence slowly eroded, you may be dealing with covert narcissistic behaviour. We explore how narcissists weaponise your vulnerability, punish autonomy, and use “jokes,” comparisons, and passive-aggressive behaviours to chip away at your sense of self.These manipulation tactics go far beyond classic gaslighting and love bombing — they are calculated forms of psychological control that leave long-lasting emotional scars. This episode is essential for anyone wanting to understand the complex and insidious nature of narcissistic relationships, emotional manipulation, and toxic abuse cycles.If you've ever wondered why you feel off around someone — but can't quite put your finger on it — this deep dive into lesser-known narcissistic tactics will give you the clarity you've been searching for.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

Dating a narcissist can feel like a rollercoaster of confusion, self-doubt, and emotional highs and lows. In this powerful episode, we unpack the 10 most common signs you're dating a narcissist—signs that are often disguised as love, charm, or even care. From love bombing and gaslighting to emotional withdrawal and future faking, these patterns are subtle at first but deeply damaging over time.This episode explores how narcissists use manipulation, charm, and psychological tactics to gain control and erode their partner's sense of reality. We take a closer look at the emotional abuse cycles that often go unnoticed in narcissistic relationships, helping listeners recognise the red flags before they escalate. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells, constantly questioning your worth, or doubting your own perception of reality in a relationship, this episode will bring much-needed clarity.Listeners will learn how to identify covert manipulation tactics, why narcissists behave the way they do in romantic relationships, and how emotional dependency is created through trauma bonding. This deep dive reveals not only the surface-level behaviours but the psychological reasons behind them—so you can spot the difference between genuine affection and narcissistic control.This episode is especially relevant for those dealing with a narcissistic partner, wondering if their relationship is toxic, or healing from emotional abuse. It's a must-hear for anyone questioning whether they've been love-bombed, devalued, or discarded by someone who never truly loved them, only controlled them.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

If you've ever found yourself being accused of things you didn't do, or being labelled with traits that clearly belong to the narcissist themselves, chances are you've experienced this toxic psychological trick firsthand. In this powerful episode, we explore one of the most insidious tactics narcissists use to manipulate and emotionally destabilise their victims – projectionProjection is a defence mechanism that allows narcissists to avoid taking accountability for their actions. Instead of owning up to their own flaws, behaviours, or toxic attitudes, they shift the blame onto you. Suddenly, you're the one who's "too sensitive," "selfish," "lying," or "manipulative." It's a calculated move designed not only to confuse and disarm you, but to make you question your own reality and integrity.We break down exactly how and why narcissists project, with real-world examples drawn from counselling sessions, survivor stories, and lived experiences. You'll learn how this tactic often shows up in narcissistic relationships – from romantic partners and parents to workplace bullies and toxic friends – and the emotional toll it takes on victims.This episode also highlights the emotional confusion and cognitive dissonance that projection creates. Narcissists are masters at using it to gaslight and distort the truth, making it incredibly difficult for victims to identify what's real. We'll talk about the circular arguments, the deflection, and the rage that often accompanies projection when you dare to stand up for yourself or question their narrative.We also unpack why narcissists rely so heavily on projection. Whether it's to preserve their fragile ego, avoid guilt, or maintain their false self-image, projection serves as a smokescreen that keeps the narcissist in control while leaving you doubting yourself.If you've ever felt like you were being punished for someone else's behaviour, made to feel responsible for the narcissist's emotions, or gaslit into silence by relentless accusations, this episode is a must-listen. Understanding projection is a crucial step in unravelling the narcissist's manipulation and reclaiming your voice, clarity, and confidence.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Why do narcissists seem to lash out when you're at your happiest? Why do they ruin birthdays, holidays, family events, or moments of personal success? If you've ever found yourself asking “Why can't they just let me enjoy this?”, this episode is for you.In this deep-dive episode, we unpack the disturbing reality behind why narcissists can't stand your joy. Whether it's your graduation, a promotion, a peaceful family gathering, or simply a quiet moment of contentment, narcissists have a way of inserting chaos, guilt, or drama—ensuring that the spotlight shifts back to them.We'll explore:The narcissist's pathological envy and need to undermine youHow they weaponise special moments to create emotional confusionThe psychological reason your joy feels threatening to themThe difference between support and sabotage in toxic dynamicsCommon tactics: disappearing acts, passive-aggressive comments, arguments out of nowhere“They see your joy as a reminder they can't feel theirs.”Narcissistic sabotage isn't random—it's a patterned behaviour used to reassert control and destabilise you emotionally. These moments of sabotage are often followed by gaslighting, blame-shifting, or false apologies that keep you questioning yourself and walking on eggshells.You'll also hear real-world examples from my counselling practice, helping you identify red flags and understand the deeper emotional manipulation at play.“They won't let you have the moment—unless it serves them.”This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt emotionally ambushed during what should've been their happiest moments. I'll help you see through the manipulation and take the first steps toward emotional freedom.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

They live right next door—but your life feels like a psychological battleground. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we're diving into one of the most overlooked forms of narcissistic abuse: the narcissistic neighbour from hell.If you've ever had your boundaries trampled, your privacy violated, or your daily peace destroyed by a toxic neighbour, you're not imagining it—this is real, and you're not alone."It's not just petty disputes about fences or noise. A narcissistic neighbour plays a much bigger game—the long game of power, control, and psychological warfare."As a specialist narcissistic abuse counsellor, I sharethe red flags, manipulation tactics, and deeply distressing psychological games these neighbours play—from covert sabotage to blatant intimidation. Whether it's smear campaigns in the street, passive-aggressive “niceness,” or constant efforts to provoke you, this episode gives you both validation and strategy.We'll explore:Why narcissistic neighbours target certain peopleHow they use neighbourhood dynamics to isolate and smear youThe emotional toll of living next to narcissistic chaosWhat NOT to do (and why reacting fuels them)Boundaries, grey rocking, and legal strategies that protect your peace"You don't have to justify your need for peace, safety, or space—especially not to someone who thrives on taking it away."Whether you're dealing with noise complaints used as weapons, creepy surveillance, or subtle community manipulation, this episode will help you reclaim your power and sanity.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

They poke the bear—then cry victim when the bear roars.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I'm pulling back the curtain on one of the most manipulative narcissistic abuse tactics out there—narcissist baiting and bashing. If you've ever been provoked, poked, or pushed to your emotional limit by a narcissist only to have your reaction twisted against you, this episode is for you.We're diving deep into how narcissists bait you, why they do it, and how it connects to their larger smear campaign strategy. I'll walk you through the red flags of baiting—those sly jabs, passive-aggressive comments, and guilt-tripping setups that are meant to elicit a strong emotional reaction. Once you take the bait, the narcissist flips the script, painting you as unstable, aggressive, or even abusive—this is what I call the narcissist's bash phase.“They want you to break—so they can blame you.”In this episode, you'll learn:What narcissistic baiting looks like in romantic, family, workplace, and co-parenting dynamicsThe emotional and reputational damage that occurs when you reactHow baiting is often the first step in a calculated smear campaignWhy staying silent, not stooping, and emotionally detaching is your greatest defenceGrounded strategies to protect your peace and reputationHow to reframe your mindset so you stop reacting and start reclaiming powerWhether you're co-parenting with a narcissist, working with one, or trying to disengage from a toxic ex, knowing how to spot narcissist baiting before you take the hook is essential for your healing and safety.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Are you constantly second-guessing yourself, walking on eggshells, or feeling like you're going crazy in a relationship? You may be experiencing narcissistic victim syndrome—a deeply damaging psychological response to ongoing emotional and psychological manipulation by a narcissist.In this eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I break down exactly what narcissistic Victim syndrome is, how it develops, and the red flags you should never ignore. As a trauma-informed counsellor who specialises in narcissistic abuse recovery, I'll guide you through the real signs of narcissistic abuse and narcissisti  Victim Syndrome, and help you understand the emotional rollercoaster that victims often experience—confusion, anxiety, hypervigilance, low self-worth, and trauma bonding.Whether it's a narcissistic partner, parent, friend, or boss, this episode will help you identify the manipulative tactics narcissists use—like gaslighting, love bombing, intermittent reinforcement, and devaluation—that leave you emotionally drained and psychologically trapped.In this episode, we'll cover:What narcissistic Victim syndrome really isCommon signs you're being emotionally abused by a narcissistHow narcissistic abuse affects your mental health and identityWhy victims stay and how trauma bonding formsSteps to begin healing and reclaiming your sense of selfNarcissistic abuse isn't always obvious—but its effects are long-lasting and real. If you've ever been made to feel like you're the problem, this episode will validate your experience and give you the clarity and language to understand what's really happening.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

By the time you realise what's happening, you're no longer you.In this eye-opening episode I dive deep into how covert narcissists slowly chip away at, and dismantle your personality, piece by piece.We're talking about the subtle manipulation tactics that don't leave bruises but completely rewrite who you are:Why covert narcissists target your self-esteem and independenceHow they use gaslighting, guilt, and fake concern to erode your confidenceWhat it feels like when your values, beliefs, and even your sense of humour no longer feel like your ownHow survivors often don't recognise themselves anymore“You're not ‘too sensitive'—you're being conditioned to question your reality.”Whether the narcissist is a partner, parent, colleague, or friend, the long-term psychological effects of narcissistic abuse are real—and they're devastating. This episode explores how your core identity is gradually overwritten by a covert narcissist's control.“Their goal isn't to love you—it's to control who you become.”If you've ever felt like a shell of your former self, or like your personality has been “trained out” of you, this episode will help you make sense of the confusion, reclaim your identity, and start the healing process.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

What if everything you thought you knew about narcissists was just the tip of the iceberg?In this eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I'm revealing 10 of the darkest, most tightly kept secrets narcissists don't want you to uncover—because once you know, their power starts to crumble."A narcissist's greatest fear is exposure. The moment you see through their mask, the game changes."These are the secrets they use to:Manipulate your perception of realityKeep you hooked through cycles of idealisation and devaluationPretend to be the victim while destroying your reputationAnd maintain control long after you've walked awayWhether you're dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, co-worker, or friend, this episode will equip you with the insights you need to see their behaviour for what it really is."They don't want you to heal. They want you to doubt yourself forever."Expect to hear the truth behind:Why they seem so confident (but are actually deeply insecure)How they mirror you to win your trustThe real reason they never take responsibilityWhy their charm is a calculated actAnd how their ‘love' is just another form of control"The moment you stop playing their game, they panic."It's time to take your power back. The more you understand these dark narcissist secrets, the less influence they'll have over your mind, emotions, and future.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

Why can't anyone seem to understand narcissistic abuse — no matter how hard you try to explain it? In this validating episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys,  I break down why victims struggle to put their experience into words and why outsiders often dismiss, minimise, or misunderstand what's really happening.I unpack powerful tactics like gaslighting, love bombing, and covert emotional abuse — all designed by the narcissist to stay hidden from others while destroying you behind closed doors. You'll learn why survivors are left feeling isolated, disbelieved, and even blamed, and how this adds to the trauma.If you've ever felt crazy, exhausted, or alone trying to explain your abuse — this episode will give you clarity, validation, and support. Your pain is real, and it matters.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

In this powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I'm joined by none other than Dr. Sam Vaknin, the world-renowned expert on narcissistic personality disorder and author of the groundbreaking book Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited. With over 300,000 YouTube subscribers and millions of views, Dr. Vaknin has become one of the most recognised voices globally on narcissism, drawing from decades of research, clinical observation, and personal experience.Together, we take a deep dive into the narcissist's destructive cycle of idealisation, devaluation, and discard — the pattern that leaves victims confused, traumatised, and trapped. Dr. Vaknin explains why narcissists go from love bombing you with intense idealisation, to cruelly tearing you down during the devaluation phase, before abruptly discarding you when they've extracted everything they need. You'll learn the psychology behind this cycle, why it repeats, and most importantly, how to recognise it early and protect yourself from further harm.Dr. Vaknin brings his signature no-nonsense insight, blending clinical knowledge with raw truth that resonates with survivors around the world. Whether you're dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, this conversation will validate your experience and empower you with practical understanding.Please follow Dr Sam Vaknin on his YouTube channel at https://youtube.com/@samvaknin?si=9L6UYK8vr63gfIEgNeed Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Ever wondered how a narcissist loves — or if they're even capable of real love at all? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys  I break down the hard truths about what narcissistic love really looks like in romantic relationships, families, and friendships.You'll learn why narcissists appear so loving and affectionate at first with intense love bombing, only to later devalue and discard you. I explain the difference between real love and narcissistic love, and why narcissists make you feel like you're walking on eggshells, doubting yourself, and constantly trying to win back their affection.We explore how narcissistic parents show conditional love through the golden child and scapegoat dynamic, and why narcissistic partners shift from idealising you to tearing you down with silent treatments, manufactured conflict, and emotional manipulation. I also cover the key signs that you're dealing with narcissistic love — and how to protect your self-worth and reclaim your peace.If you've ever been stuck in the cycle of confusion, asking yourself, Did they ever really love me? this episode will give you the validation and clarity you need to start healingNeed Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Have you ever wondered why certain people seem to become prime targets for covert narcissists? In this revealing episode of Fake Love and  Flying Monkeys I break down exactly what kind of personality traits covert narcissists are drawn to — and why.From the outside, it might seem like bad luck, but I explain the deeper psychological reasons why these manipulators select partners, friends, and even colleagues who display certain appealing traits. Are you overly empathetic? A chronic people-pleaser? High-achieving but secretly struggling with low self-worth? Expect to learn:The top 5 personality traits covert narcissists actively seek outHow your strengths — like kindness and loyalty — can be twisted and weaponised against youWhy boundary issues are often at the core of the narcissist-target dynamicRed flags that signal when your good nature is being exploitedThis episode is packed with insight, validation, and practical strategies to help you recognise the patterns — and break free from them. Whether you're currently stuck in a toxic relationship or reflecting on past encounters, this conversation will empower you to reclaim your self-worth and stop being an easy target."Your empathy is your strength — but without boundaries, it becomes your weakness in the hands of a narcissist."Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Ever felt like you were suddenly competing for someone's love, attention, or approval—without knowing why? You might have been caught in the toxic game of covert narcissistic triangulation.In this eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I dive deep into one of the most painful and manipulative tactics narcissists use: triangulation. Whether it's with an ex, a friend, a sibling, or even your own child, covert narcissists thrive on creating emotional chaos by pulling in third parties to control, confuse, and hurt you.I'll break down what triangulation really looks like, why narcissists do it, how it affects your mental health and self-esteem, and—most importantly—how to recognise it and shut it down. From silent treatment and comparisons to backhanded praise and fake alliances, this episode exposes how narcissists use others to punish you, keep you off balance, and maintain power.You'll hear real-life examples from my counselling practice and learn practical tools to detach from the drama, protect your peace, and heal from the emotional damage this cruel tactic leaves behind.This episode is for you if:You've been compared to others constantlyYou feel like someone's always being used against youThe narcissist in your life brings up their ex way too oftenYou've been turned against someone you once trustedYou're stuck in a toxic triangle that leaves you drained and confused"The narcissist doesn't want peace, they want power—and triangulation gives them both."Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

What happens when the abuse doesn't leave bruises—but instead rewires your nervous system?In this episode of Fake Love and Flying I dive deep into the reality of Complex PTSD (CPTSD) as it relates to narcissistic abuse."Narcissistic abuse doesn't just hurt—it conditions you to expect pain as love."Whether you've left the narcissist or are still untangling from the trauma, this episode breaks down the long-term psychological and physiological effects of prolonged exposure to emotional abuse, gaslighting, control, and coercive manipulation. We explore how CPTSD develops differently from PTSD, how the narcissist's cycle of idealise–devalue–discard contributes to emotional injury, and why survivors often feel confused, hypervigilant, or stuck in shame.You'll learn:What CPTSD really is and how it develops from repeated emotional traumaKey symptoms including emotional flashbacks, dysregulation, and shame spiralsHow narcissists create the "perfect storm" for CPTSDWhy healing requires more than just going no contact."CPTSD is not weakness. It's your brain's survival response to ongoing emotional warfare."This episode is for anyone seeking to understand the neurobiological toll of narcissistic abuse, how CPTSD keeps survivors locked in fear and confusion, and—most importantly—what recovery really looks like.Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

Forgiveness is often misunderstood, especially by those who haven't lived through the manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse narcissists inflict. This episode will help you understandShould you forgive the narcissist? It's a question that haunts many survivors of narcissistic abuse—and today, we're unpacking it.In this powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I explore the loaded topic of forgiveness when it comes to narcissists. You'll learn why the push to “just forgive and move on” can feel invalidating, how toxic positivity can pressure survivors into unsafe situations, and why your healing doesn't have to include reconciliation or even formal forgiveness.We cover:* Why forgiving a narcissist isn't the same as healing* How “forgiveness culture” can retraumatise survivors* What real healing looks like without forced forgiveness* When forgiveness is helpful—and when it's just another trap* How to set boundaries and protect your peace, even without closure Whether you're still in contact with a narcissist or have gone full no-contact, this episode will validate your journey and remind you that your healing path is yours to define.“You don't have to forgive the narcissist to heal—you just have to free yourself from their control.”    Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here You can leave a Rating and a Review here You Can Share this Podcast here Join me on FB here Join the private FB group here Join me on Instagram here Join me on YouTube here Please Buy me a coffee ❤️ Thank you for listening! Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host. Nova xx

She seems so sweet—how could she be the problem? That's exactly the mask the covert female narcissist wears while slowly chipping away at your confidence, your voice, and your sense of reality.In today's powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we're pulling back the curtain on 10 subtle but deeply damaging ways the covert female narcissist erodes your self-esteem—and often, your entire sense of self. Whether it's your narcissistic mother, sister, partner, friend, boss or even a "mean girl" in your social circle, these women are masters of manipulation, sabotage, and emotional control—but they do it all behind a mask of innocence.We cover:The weaponised “victim” role she plays to guilt youHow she uses backhanded compliments and passive-aggressive digs to keep you second-guessingHow she sets you up to fail, just so she can swoop in as your 'rescuer'The ways she turns people against you subtly, yet deliberatelyAnd much more...Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    These aren't just toxic habits—these are narcissistic abuse tactics designed to confuse, isolate, and emotionally paralyse you. But once you learn to spot them, you can begin to heal, reclaim your self-worth, and set powerful boundaries that protect your peace.If you've ever felt like you were walking on eggshells around a woman who “never did anything wrong” but somehow left you feeling drained, anxious, and never good enough—this episode is for you.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

If you've ever been cheated on by a narcissist, you know it's not just betrayal—it's psychological warfare.In this raw and eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I'm breaking down the top 5 reasons narcissists betray their partners—and trust me, it's not because of anything you did or didn't do. If you've ever been blindsided by infidelity or left questioning your worth after a narcissist moved on like you never existed, this one's for you."Cheating isn't about love for narcissists—it's about power, control, and ego."We're diving deep into the psychology behind narcissistic infidelity. From the compulsive need for validation to the thrill of deception, I'll help you make sense of the chaos they create and the emotional wreckage they leave behind. This episode also explores how narcissists set the stage for cheating long before it happens, often grooming new supply while still in a relationship with you.Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    "They don't cheat because you're lacking. They cheat because their ego is never full."What you'll learn in this episode:Why narcissists view relationships as transactional, not emotionalThe role of boredom and entitlement in their infidelityHow cheating fits into the narcissist's cycle of idealise, devalue, and discardWhy they're addicted to the chase and how they sabotage real intimacyThe devastating impact of betrayal on victims—and how to begin healing"To a narcissist, loyalty is a one-way street—and they're always the exception."Whether you're still reeling from a narcissist's betrayal or trying to understand the patterns in your past relationships, this episode will validate your pain and give you the clarity you deserve. It's not about blaming yourself—it's about understanding the calculated cruelty behind their choices and reclaiming your power.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

Feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time, constantly explaining your spending, or having to ask permission for your own money? You might be experiencing coercive control and financial control — one of the most insidious forms of abuse.“It's not about money. It's about power.”Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    In this eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we're diving deep into the devastating trio of narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and financial abuse — the silent weapons narcissists use to dominate, isolate, and wear down their victims.I break down how narcissists use money as a weapon — not just to punish, but to own you. From limiting access to joint funds, racking up debt in your name, sabotaging your job, or demanding to see every receipt, these tactics aren't random — they're calculated.You'll learn:✅ What financial abuse looks like in narcissistic relationships✅ How coercive control traps victims in silence and shame✅ Why narcissists use money to dominate and destabilise✔️ The subtle red flags most people overlook⭐ How survivors can begin to reclaim their autonomy and financial safety“Financial abuse keeps you stuck long after the relationship ends.”Whether it's a partner, parent, or even an adult child — narcissists use coercive control to chip away at your independence. I draw from real-life client stories and professional insight to help you recognise the patterns, understand the tactics, and start the journey to empowerment.“If they control the money, they control your choices.”Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

"Same game. Different masks."Covert and overt narcissists may look like opposites—but don't be fooled. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I expose 5 unmissable differences between covert and overt narcissists, and how each uses toxic tactics to control, confuse and devalue you."Covert narcissists fly under the radar. Overt narcissists want the spotlight."Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    Learn how covert narcissists use silent sabotage, guilt-tripping, and false humility to chip away at your confidence—while overt narcissists operate with arrogance, grandiosity, and open manipulation.Whether you're dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, friend, or boss, this episode will help you clearly identify which type you're up against—and how to protect yourself.I share real-world examples from my counselling work, plus empowering tips to help you break free from the narcissist's manipulation—once and for all.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

They know enough to hide it from others, but do they actually know what they're doing?In this powerful episode, I dive deep into a question almost every survivor of narcissistic abuse asks: Do narcissists actually know they're hurting you? Or are they just so emotionally disconnected that they genuinely believe they're blameless?Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    Drawing on my years of experience as a trauma-informed counsellor and Director of  Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service, I break down:✅ The emotional awareness of narcissists (yes, they see your pain) ✅ Why their selective empathy is strategically turned off ✅ How they often weaponise your emotional reactions to make you the villain ✅ The key difference between malignant narcissists and emotionally immature people ✅ What this all means for your healing, boundaries, and freedomA narcissist doesn't need to feel what you feel—they just need to know what hurts you to use it to their advantage You'll leave this episode with clarity, validation, and the tools to stop seeking remorse from someone incapable of offering it.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show!

Real love heals. Narcissistic love destroys. Do you know the difference between true love and narcissistic love? While healthy love is built on trust, respect, and emotional safety, narcissistic love is a trap—an illusion designed to control and manipulate you.In this episode I'll unpack how narcissists mimic real love in the beginning, only to shift into cycles of devaluation and emotional abuse. We'll also discuss how true love feels different from love-bombing and trauma bonding, so you can recognise the red flags before getting trapped in a toxic relationship.Inside this episode we discuss:✔ The key differences between healthy love vs. narcissistic love✔ How narcissists manipulate emotions to keep you hooked✔ Red flags that you're in a narcissistic relationship✔ What real love should feel like (without confusion or chaos)✔ How to break free from toxic love and start healing"Love shouldn't feel like a rollercoaster. If it does, it's not love—it's control."

Have you ever lashed out in frustration after relentless emotional torment, only to be told you are the problem? That is reactive abuse, and it is not the same as the calculated, intentional cruelty of narcissistic abuse. They push you until you break—then call you the abuser. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we expose how narcissists provoke emotional reactions and then twist reality to shift blame onto you."They create chaos, then play the victim."Narcissists know exactly how to push your buttons, using manipulation and gaslighting to trigger an outburst. Once they get a reaction, they weaponise it—telling others you are unstable, you are the abuser. It is a classic blame-shifting strategy designed to discredit you and keep you trapped in self-doubt and shame.We break down:What reactive abuse really is—and why it is not actual abuseWhy narcissists provoke reactions—and how they use your response against youHow to break free from their manipulation—so you stop playing their gameOvercoming self-blame—so you can reclaim your truth and healLosing control after endless provocation does not make you the abuser.If you have ever questioned yourself after a toxic argument, this episode will give you clarity, validation, and strategies to stay in control.If this episode resonated with you, please rate and review—it helps others find this podcast. Share your thoughts in the comments! Have you experienced reactive abuse? Let's talk.For more insights and strategies to break free from toxic relationships, grab a copy of my book, Fake Love.If you would like to support the channel, you can buy me a coffee—the link is below. You can book a Telehealth Online zoom counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at your event through my website  Brighter Outlook Counselling Service or email me at nova.pollard123@gmail.com You can purchase a copy of my book  ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse   here Join me on Facebook here Join the private Facebook discussion group here Join me on Instagram here https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibsonSend us a textThank you so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me, please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Counselling Service, or email me at nova.pollard123@gmail.comTo order a copy of my book, Fake love: Understanding and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse, the best-selling practical self-help book of 2023 , available in Paperback, Audible and Kindle) Please click here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

Being discarded by a narcissist feels brutal—like you never mattered. One moment, you're their everything. The next, you're replaced, ignored, or worse—mocked. But here's the truth they don't want you to know: narcissists do look back. They do miss the people who once fed their ego. And yes, they often return—but not for the reasons you think.In this powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I dive deep into the psychology behind the narcissist's discard phase and what really makes them miss you.“Your absence is the biggest statement you'll ever make.”Whether you're reeling from a discard or just trying to understand why they moved on so quickly, this episode is for you. You'll learn:* Why narcissists discard their partners so suddenly* What triggers a narcissist to miss you after they've moved on* The role of new supply and why it's not what it seems“Nothing unsettles a narcissist more than your peace.”This isn't about playing games. It's about understanding how narcissists think—and how to emotionally detach from someone who feeds on your reactions. If you've been discarded and you're stuck in a cycle of rumination, wondering if they'll ever look back or regret their actions, this episode brings you clarity, comfort, and strength.“When you stop chasing, they start wondering.”Let me know your thoughts—has the narcissist ever come back after discarding you? Drop a comment, share this episode, and let's keep the conversation going.Don't forget to rate and review—it helps others discover this podcast and feel less alone.Grab your copy of Fake Love for more insight, strategies, and validation.Want to support the show? Buy me a coffee with the link below—every bit helps me keep this content coming.Nova xx Need Support?www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au Buy my book here. https://linktr.ee/novagibsonSend us a textThank you so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me, please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Counselling Service, or email me at nova.pollard123@gmail.comTo order a copy of my book, Fake love: Understanding and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse, the best-selling practical self-help book of 2023 , available in Paperback, Audible and Kindle) Please click here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

Covert narcissists hide in plain sight, using subtle tactics to break you down.In this second part of our series, we delve deeper into the covert narcissist's manipulative tactics that leave victims feeling invalidated, confused, and emotionally drained. If you've ever felt manipulated or questioned your worth in a relationship, this episode is a must-listen.We continue to unravel the covert narcissist's hidden strategies. From emotional blackmail to narcissistic triangulation, learn how these manipulative narcissists use psychological abuse to control and devalue their victims. In this episode, we reveal five more covert tactics that narcissists use to keep you hooked, create confusion, and isolate you from your support system.What you'll learn:The covert narcissist's ability to invalidate your emotions and make you question your own reality (covert narcissist devalues).How triangulation works to create tension and manipulate relationships (narcissistic triangulation).The emotional blackmail tactics that narcissists use to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries."Breaking free from a covert narcissist requires seeing the manipulation for what it is."If you're struggling to break free from a covert narcissist, this episode offers critical insights and strategies to regain control and start healing. Understanding these tactics will empower you to protect your emotional well-being and rebuild your life, free from narcissistic abuse. Remember to share, comment, and rate this episode! I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. For deeper insights and strategies to heal or escape your toxic relationship, check out my book Fake Love.If you'd like to support the channel, buy me a cup of coffee via the link below.You can book a Telehealth Online zoom counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at your event through my website  Brighter Outlook Counselling Service or email me at nova.pollard123@gmail.com You can purchase a copy of my book  ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse   here Join me on Facebook here Join the private Facebook discussion group here Join me on Instagram here https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibsonSend us a textThank you so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me, please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Counselling Service, or email me at nova.pollard123@gmail.comTo order a copy of my book, Fake love: Understanding and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse, the best-selling practical self-help book of 2023 , available in Paperback, Audible and Kindle) Please click here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

"They don't yell. They don't rage. But they destroy you—quietly."In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I expose 15 subtle but devastating ways the covert narcissist devalues you.From silent treatment and manufactured conflict to jokes that aren't funny and fake concern laced with sabotage, these tactics are designed to break you down while keeping their hands clean.“They make you feel like you're the problem—while they quietly pull the strings.”If you've ever felt confused, manipulated, or constantly walking on eggshells around someone who seems nice on the surface, this one's for you.Press play now and start reclaiming your clarity, confidence, and peace.Need support? Book a Zoom counselling session with Nova at: www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au Book me to speak at your event here You can purchase a copy of my book  ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse' here Join me on Facebook here Join the private Facebook discussion group here Join me on Instagram here https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibsonSend us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

“They replaced me like I never existed.”If you've ever been discarded by a narcissist only to see them jump straight into a new relationship, this episode is for you.I explain why narcissists move on so fast, how they pre-groom new supply, and why their “perfect new relationship” is just another manipulation tactic. It's not love—it's control.You'll learn:Why narcissists rush into new relationshipsHow they use new supply to punish, provoke, or replace youWhat love bombing looks like for the new partnerWhy their new relationship isn't what it seemsHow to reclaim your self-worth and start healing"It's not about you. It's about their need for constant supply."Whether you're recovering from a breakup with a narcissist, dealing with a toxic co-parent, or trying to break free from emotional abuse, this episode offers validation, clarity, and steps forward.Subscribe to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys for weekly episodes on narcissistic abuse recovery, emotional healing, and surviving smear campaigns and trauma bonds.Need support?Book a Zoom counselling session with Nova at:www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.auBook me to speak at your event here You can purchase a copy of my book  ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse' here Join me on Facebook here Join the private Facebook discussion group here Join me on Instagram here https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibsonSend us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

What Happens When a Narcissist Can't Control You Anymore?Have you ever wondered what happens when a narcissist loses control over you? The moment you break free from their grip, their true nature is fully exposed. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys I dive deep into the chaotic, desperate, and often dangerous behaviours narcissists display when they can no longer manipulate their victims.Narcissists thrive on control—whether in romantic relationships, family dynamics, friendships, or even the workplace. When their power slips away, they resort to extreme tactics to regain dominance. You might face smear campaigns, relentless hoovering, guilt-tripping, or even outright rage. Some narcissists will play the victim, trying to make you doubt yourself. Others will spread lies, turning mutual friends and family against you to maintain their illusion of superiority.But here's the truth: their reaction isn't about love, regret, or missing you—it's about losing control. I break down the psychological warfare narcissists use post-breakup, helping you understand their mindset and, more importantly, how to protect yourself. Whether you're going no contact, setting firm boundaries, or recovering from their manipulation, this episode will give you the insight and validation you need to stand strong.If you've ever felt trapped in a toxic relationship, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to stay empowered, avoid being reeled back in, and finally reclaim your freedom. Don't let a narcissist dictate your life—take back your power today!Subscribe to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys for more expert insights on narcissistic abuse, healing, and recovery. Let's expose their tactics and break free together!To book an online zoom counseling appointment with me please visit my website link below

Protecting Children from Domestic Violence, High-Conflict Divorce, and Coercive Parenting: w/ AJ GajjarChildren are often the hidden victims of domestic violence, high-conflict divorce, and coercive parenting. In this powerful episode I am joined by AJ Gajjar, and we explore the lasting impact these experiences have on children and discuss practical ways to protect their emotional well-being. AJ Gajjar is a mom, Parenting and Trauma Consultant, child development specialist, and children's advocate. She supports professionals within the domestic violence, family law, children's mental health and child protection sectors to recognize the detrimental effects of domestic violence, high-conflict divorce and coercive parenting on children. AJ also supports concerned parents, to best protect and empower their children not only to recover from trauma, but also to develop resilience against future traumas. Having combined her education in Developmental Psychology, over 18 years of experience in early child development and mental health, along with her lived experience, AJ has created Trauma Healing Parenting, a parenting model specifically designed to best support children who experience ongoing relational harm.You can reach AJ at her website: thetraumahealingparent.comSend us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

Narcissists Use Sex as a Weapon to Control YouSex should be a source of connection, intimacy, and mutual pleasure—but in a relationship with a narcissist, it often becomes a tool for control, manipulation, and emotional abuse. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I explore how narcissists weaponise sex to dominate their partners, leaving them confused, emotionally starved, and desperate for validation.Narcissists use sex in different ways depending on their agenda. In the beginning, they may shower you with intense passion, making you feel like the most desired person in the world. This "love bombing" stage creates an addictive high, making you crave their attention and approval. But once they've secured your emotional investment, everything changes. They start withholding affection, making you feel unattractive or unworthy. You may find yourself begging for intimacy, wondering what you did wrong. This is a classic tactic to destabilise you and keep you seeking their validation.Some narcissists use sex to punish and control. They may demand it constantly, disregarding your comfort, emotions, or physical boundaries. Others withhold it entirely, using rejection as a way to make you feel unlovable. They may compare you to others, accuse you of being inadequate, or even engage in affairs to make you feel replaceable. These strategies keep you walking on eggshells, desperate to please them and regain their attention.In this episode, I also discuss how narcissists exploit sex to reinforce trauma bonds, making it even harder for victims to leave. The intense cycles of pleasure and rejection create deep emotional hooks, making you feel like you can't live without them. But here's the truth: this isn't love—it's manipulation.I'll share real-life examples from survivors I've worked with in my counselling practice, detailing how they broke free from this toxic dynamic. I'll also give practical advice on recognising these patterns, setting boundaries, and healing from the emotional damage caused by narcissistic abuse.If you've ever felt controlled, devalued, or emotionally drained in a sexual relationship, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to reclaim your power and break free from the narcissist's grip.Don't forget to subscribe to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, and grab a copy of my best-selling book "Fake Love" for more insights on healing from narcissistic abuse. Follow me on social media for daily support and strategies to rebuild your life after toxic relationships!You can book an online zoom counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at yoSend us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

3 Tactics Covert Narcissists Use to Isolate YouHave you ever felt your world slowly closing in, leaving you disconnected from friends, family, and even yourself? That's no accident—it's a calculated move by a covert narcissist. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I'm exposing three manipulative tactics covert narcissists use to isolate their victims. Unlike overt narcissists, who are obvious in their control, covert narcissists operate in the shadows, subtly pulling the strings to keep you emotionally, mentally, and even physically dependent.If this resonates, you're not alone. Recognising narcissistic isolation is the first step to breaking free. I'll share real-life cases from my counselling practice and practical strategies to help you reclaim your independence, including:Subtle Smear Campaigns – They plant doubts in your loved ones' minds, making you seem unstable or untrustworthy.Guilt and Obligation Traps – They use emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible for their well-being, discouraging outside connections.Control Through Crisis – They create constant chaos, making you too drained to maintain relationships beyond them.

Navigating the trauma of domestic abuse and addiction: with Azadeh AtzbergerIn this episode I'm joined by Azadeh Atzberger. Azadeh is a distinguished 3-time Bestselling Author, the esteemed Founder of Finally Free Life, serving as a Transformational Life Coach and Couples Coach. Renowned as the visionary behind "The 12 Steps For Narcissistic Abuse Recovery," she draws from her own journey as a trauma survivor of domestic and sexual abuse and a triumphant conqueror of addiction. Her profound passion lies in empowering individuals to navigate trauma, and find the freedom to manifest the lives they aspire to lead.Here is Azedahs story ♥️ https://finallyfreelife.com/Send us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

Can a Narcissist Change if they go to counseling?Therapy is often the first step for victims of narcissistic abuse—a space where they can untangle years of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional trauma. Yet, one striking pattern emerges: while the victims of narcissists seek healing, the narcissist themselves rarely, if ever, steps into a therapist's office.Why is that? If narcissists cause so much harm, wouldn't they benefit from professional help? In this episode, we'll explore why the victims are the ones in therapy rather than the narcissist, and whether true change is possible for someone with narcissistic personality traits.If you've ever wondered why the narcissist in your life never seeks help, never apologises, and never takes responsibility, this episode is for you.Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with anyone dealing with narcissistic abuse. Your healing starts with knowledge—and I'm here to guide you every step of the way.Nova xx You can book an online zoom counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at your event here You can purchase a copy of my book  ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse' here Join me on Facebook here Join the private Facebook discussion group here Join me on Instagram here https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibsonSend us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

Unmasking the Narcissistic Family Dynamic: Control, Manipulation, and Emotional AbuseGrowing up in a family should feel safe and supportive—but what happens when narcissism poisons the dynamic? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we're uncovering the truth about the narcissistic family system, where control, manipulation, and emotional neglect take centre stage. If you've ever felt like the black sheep of your own family, constantly walking on eggshells, or questioning your own reality, this episode is for you.If you grew up in a family where love felt conditional, where you were constantly made to feel “not good enough,” or where speaking up led to punishment, you are not alone. This episode will validate your experience and help you reclaim your power.Tune in now to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys and don't forget to subscribe for more deep dives into narcissistic abuse, trauma recovery, and breaking free from toxic relationships. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with anyone dealing with narcissistic abuse. Your healing starts with knowledge—and I'm here to guide you every step of the way.Nova xx You can book an online zoom counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at your event here You can purchase a copy of my book  ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse' here Join me on Facebook here Join the private Facebook discussion group here Join me on Instagram here https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibsonSend us a textThankyou so much for listening! Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse. If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.comTo order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here or simply go directly to AmazonI looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee

Narcissistic Abuse victim pays the ultimate price (Trigger Warning): w/ Ali Kessler In this episode I am joined by Ali Kessler. Ali is a writer, marketing professional, passionate parent advocateand founder of Greyson's Choice, a 501(c)(3) created to raise awareness aboutthe risk of domestic abuse on children.Greyson's Choice was founded by AliKessler in memory of her sweet, vibrant,and fearless 4.5-year-old son, Greysonwho was murdered by his biologicalfather in a murder-suicide during anunsupervised, court-approved visit in Ft.Lauderdale, FL, in 2021. This came justhours after her petition for a domesticviolence injunction was denied by aBroward County judge, citing that the'petitioner has failed to allege any overtacts by the respondent which wouldconstitute domestic violence underFlorida Statute,Ali's advocacy efforts culminated insuccessfully passing Greyson's Lawduring the 2023 legislative session. Thisbill now requires the court to considerthreats against ex-partners or spouseswhen making child visitation and custodydeterminations in the court.Here is Ali's story

Flying Monkeys Manipulate you on Behalf of the Narcissist: How do they do it?If you've ever escaped a narcissist, you've likely faced another terrifying reality—their flying monkeys. These enablers, whether knowingly or unknowingly, act as the narcissist's messengers, spies, and attackers, working behind the scenes to manipulate, pressure, and control you. But why do they do it? And how can you protect yourself from their toxic influence?In this episode of Fake Love & Flying Monkeys, I'm breaking down the five most common tactics flying monkeys use to manipulate you for the narcissist. From guilt-tripping and emotional blackmail to smear campaigns and outright intimidation, these tactics are designed to keep you trapped in the narcissist's web of control. I'll also be sharing real-life examples from my counselling practice, helping you recognise these toxic behaviours and, most importantly, learn how to shut them down.Expect to hear: ✅ Why flying monkeys get involved – Are they victims too, or just as toxic as the narcissist? ✅ The guilt-trip trap – How flying monkeys make you feel responsible for the narcissist's pain. ✅ Smear campaigns and reputation sabotage – How they destroy your credibility to keep you isolated. ✅ The “forgiveness” pressure tactic – Why they push you to reconcile, even when it's unsafe. ✅ How to set boundaries and protect yourself – Practical strategies to cut off toxic flying monkeys for good.If you've ever been pressured to “just move on” or felt the sting of betrayal from people you once trusted, this episode will give you the clarity and validation you need. Flying monkeys might think they're helping, but in reality, they're doing the narcissist's dirty work—and it's time to take your power back.