RNZ: It Takes A Village

New Zealand isn't the only country to be concerned about falling student literacy rates and the gender gap in academic performance. New Australian research suggests that boys are twice as likely to be at the bottom in literacy and more likely to fall behind once they reach secondary school. But one boys' high school in North Sydney has defied those odds. Once one of the lowest ranked schools in the state, it is now one of the top for English. Principal Paul Sheather explains to Kathryn how a different teaching approach drove this incredible turnaround at Balgowlah Boys Campus.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Many parents will remember the 'terrible twos' - when your toddler turns into a tiny tyrant whose favourite word is 'no!'. But what happens when they're a little bit older, but still tending toward being stubborn? What's under-lying the behaviour coming from a strong-willed child? And how can parents adjust their expectations and reactions cope with it? Jenny Hale is one of Parenting Place's Senior Parent Coaches. She's also the author of the book Kind, Firm, Calm: Simple Strategies to Transform Your Parenting. Parenting Place has just launched a new parenting course on this topic.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

There are a lot of books on parenting, but very few about what happens when you suddenly find yourself doing it on your own. This was the experience of Australian author and podcaster Rachel Maksimovic. She became a solo mum when she was just 20 weeks' pregnant - and among the financial and career challenges it brought - there were a host of other, unexpected things. That prompted her to start her podcast called Mothering on My Own. It's now morphed into a book of the same name, in which 30 women who have found themselves parenting on their own share their stories. Rachel says society still judges single mums negatively - and fails to recognise the fullness of their lives.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

An attempted abduction of a child outside an Auckland primary school earlier this week has many parents wondering about the best way to talk to children about keeping safe. How much information should parents give children about potential dangers to them? And how? Clinical Psychologist and mother of three Jacqui Maguire has some tips and tricks.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Jill Goldson has spent decades working as a mediator with separating parents, together with their children. As well as running thousands of mediations, she's advised government policy on family law, and is a researcher. Jill Goldson's grounding principle is that child-inclusive work with families can make it better for everyone. She says a nationwide fully funded mediation service is available to families, but not enough people know about it. She's just published a book setting out what she's learned over the years about from working with families. Text any questions for Jill to 2101 or email ninetonoon@rnz.co.nz. Jill's book is available via Amazon and University Bookshop Auckland. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

New data from NZ's largest ongoing cohort study - the Growing Up in New Zealand longitudinal study - shows social connections and caring teachers are top of the list for 13-year-olds when talking about school life. They particularly want time and space to develop meaningful social connections with their peers. Bullying remains a major concern, but kids are well aware of the bullying risks on platforms like social media. The research was done with an app co-designed with 13-year-olds that the children could use to write, record audio or video responses to how their school life was going. The research is done through the Our Voices programme, which is an offshoot attached to the wider longitudinal study. Dr Emma Marks, an Auckland University research fellow in social and community health, talks to Kathryn. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Clinical psychologist Tiffany Rochester says parents going through a separation usually have the same priority: ensuring their children's wellbeing. But she says it's important for parents to get the right support at the right time, in order to create peaceful two-home families where their children flourish. Tiffany Rochester specialises in working with co-parents. She is coming to New Zealand to hold workshops with mental health clinicians and people working with separating families later this year.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

An Australian study has found guilt and feelings of being ill-equipped for parenthood are commonplace for new fathers. Co-author is Norma Barrett from Deakin University in Victoria.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Primary teacher and co-founder of a mental health venture, Alice Peel, says it's ok for children to feel low from time to time. She wants kids to understand the feeling is normal , and that there are tools to deal with those moments. Her new book lays out the science of the brain and replaces parts with animals - making brain functions easier to understand and remember for children. Topics include how to get out of a trap, how to be brave and how to be resilient when you don't want to be. Her book is called How to be a (fantastic sensational) good enough kid. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

How can parents get their children through the anxiety, the disappointment or what comes after a successful sports trial? Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Making sense of behaviour, building meaningful routines and de-escalating high conflict moments are all key tools parents can use when wanting to support their teens' mental health. Psychologist Andrea Temkin-Yu who has written a guide for parents wanting to work on their relationship with their teen. She is a specialist in parent-focused intervention to help young people with their mental health. An assistant professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine - her book is Supporting Your Teen's Mental Health published by Oxford University Press.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Steve Sobota is the co-CEO of an organisation called Big Buddy, and has been matching boys without a dad in their life with positive male role models for nearly 25 years. We know that boys' achievement at school has been lagging behind girls, and that boys are more at risk of behavioural issues and mental health issues. So what can be done to help support boys as they grow to adulthood? Steve has some thoughts based on his near two-decades of work with the organisation.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Term one of the school year is in full swing and with it the after school activities. But how much is too much? And how can parents judge that? Maggie Dent is known as the 'Queen of Commonsense Parenting' and is a former high school teacher, mother of four sons and the host of the ABC podcast Parental as Anything. Maggie says if the activity is being driven by the parent, the benefits disappearGo to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks about children and lisps. What is a lisp, and when should a parent become concerned?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Neuroscience educator and parenting coach Nathan Wallis talks about how early attachment can impact adult relationships. He says the first 1000 days, plays a critical role in defining later outcomes for our children and for their future. Nathan features in a new Australian documentary Seen which explores the importance of personal healing for parents on parenting and its impact on child brain development.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

What's the best way to keep children healthy - and how can you help them when things go wrong? Paediatrician Dr Leila Masson has spent over 25 years working with kids considering these very issues - she specialises in nutritional and environmental medicine.Footnote: In this interview, Dr Masson referred to apples being “covered in pesticides” and recommended that the fruit be washed. A 2010 study by the US Drug Administration found New Zealand apples as having the lowest average number of residues per sample, when compared to American and Chilean fruit (Warner 2012).Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

'Tis the season for visits to and from family and sometimes it's not always smooth sailing. Jenny Hale from Parenting Place says the grandparent / parent dynamic can be difficult to navigate over the holiday season. Whether it's grandad who won't stop handing out the lollies, or grandma going overboard on the gifts. It could be a clash of parenting styles, or a battle for old and new Christmas traditions. Jenny shares tips for a peaceful holiday season.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

What should parents do when they're concerned their child has a mean or 'toxic' friend?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

While many fathers naturally grow into the job of dad, some new fathers are uncertain what their role should be and how they can best parent their child. Research shows that having an engaged and nurturing father is one of the greatest assets a child can have. Parenting coach and education consultant Joseph Driessen shares his thoughts on becoming the best dad you can be.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Neuroscience educator and parenting coach Nathan Wallis says if your teenager seems self-obsessed, defiant and unmotivated, you're not alone. He says understanding the changes that are happening for your teen can help parents navigate these important and formative years. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks with Susie Ferguson about developing comprehension in toddlers and when to be concerned if understanding, speaking and learning do not seem to be coming easily.

Jo Robertson is a therapist, educator and researcher. Earlier this year, she and others presented a petition to parliament - signed by over 10,000 - calling for internet service providers to strengthen filters on all illegal sexual behaviour. This afternoon, she'll appear before a select committee to submit in person. She talks with Susie about legislation changes she wants to see. She also discusses the proposed new law in Australia, to ban social media for under 16-year-olds.

Clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire discusses how baby-parent attachment shapes infant brain development. During infancy - emotion, cognition and behaviour is all part of a developing brain. New research shows that how parents, or caregivers interact with babies not only affects development, but can shape a child's future health, both socially and emotionally. Jacqui has some advice on how to nurture attachment which lays the foundations for healthy brain development.

What is the right way to deal with your kids wanting to quit a sport or an extracurricular activity? Whether it's their first year doing it, or they've been working at it for a decade, it can be a difficult territory for parents and kids to navigate. Sport NZ surveys show kids from 5 to 11 are usually the most active participants in sport, while there is a big dropoff once they reach ages 15 to 17. So, keep dragging unwilling kids to their sports or let them let it go? Kathryn Berkett has her Masters in Educational Psychology and runs her practice Engage which she uses to teach others about using neuroscience in everyday life.

When it comes to body image, it's near impossible to escape pressures to look a certain way - and teenagers especially vulnerable to it. Even with body positive movements in recent years, relentless messaging from the fashion industry and social media it still taking a toll. But how can you tell if it's something your teenager is struggling with? And and what's the best way to approach a conversation about it? Answering these questions is Catherine Gallagher, a Christchurch-based clinical psychologist who has worked across public and private sectors for two decades, with a particular focus on children and young people.

We're looking at what creativity is, why it is important and also how it is not just a preserve of the arts. Kathryn's guest is Mark Osborne - he set up Leading Learning which covers a range of educational services including leadership development and mentoring, curriculum development and creating innovative learning environments.

Shoshannah Shand's second child was six weeks old when she took her on an overnight tramp for the first time - along with her toddler. The Christchurch solo mum of two has thousands of followers on social media for her adventures with her children. She says kids love the outdoors, and she wants parents to know that getting into the backcountry is do-able.

This may sound like living in Utopia - getting your children to tidy their rooms, eat vegetables, the list goes on. Christiane Kehoe is a researcher of child behaviour based at the University of Melbourne, and also the co-author of the Tuning in to Toddlers, Tuning in to Kids, and Tuning in to Teens parenting programmes. She shares some parenting strategies and tips to avert friction.

Educator, speaker, mum and parenting commentator Karen Boyes on the importance of being honest with kids. She is CEO of Spectrum Education, Principal of Spectrum Online Academy and the author of 13 books. She says teachers and parents have a delicate balance of inspiring children, while preparing them for the realities of life. She says telling kids 'learning is fun' and 'high grades will get you ahead in life' is well-meaning but ultimately misleading.

Whether your child is being bullied, or your child is being a bully, Dr Karyn Healy has advice. She is an Australian registered psychologist who has worked with schools, parents and children to prevent and address bullying, and resolve conflict. She co-authored a family programme to address school bullying called the Resilience Triple P program. Dr Healy says parents can help children manage conflict.

When Jennifer Anderson became a mother, she - like many new parents - realised the uphill battle that can be mealtimes. Getting young kids to eat their greens, voluntarily, isn't always straightforward - and advice on how to encourage them is polarising. Do you force them to sit and finish their plate, bribe them with dessert... and at what point, do you just give up on the brussel sprouts? But Ms Anderson, a registered dietician, took that angst, and honed in on a specialty in feeding children and picky eating. She founded Kids Eat in Color - a resource to help families feed their children, from their first bite of solid food right through to elementary-aged nutrition needs.

The phrase "there's an app for that" certainly applies in the education space - one estimate puts numbers available on the Apple and Google Play stores at nearly 400,000. But are they any good?

The big question for many parents of young children is - how can I get my kids to do what I'm asking them to do?

New York Times contributor Andrew Reiner writes about traditional roles previously assigned to men and boys affects their lives. 

Maggie Dent is known as the Queen of Commonsense Parenting. She's a former high school teacher, counsellor, mother of four sons, grandmother of seven, author of numerous books and the host of the ABC podcast Parental as Anything. Her latest book is called Help Me, Help My Teen. And Maggie's coming to Auckland next month for two public sessions: Mothering our Boys and Calming Today's Anxious Kids. Send questions for Maggie to 2101 on text or email ninetonoon@rnz.co.nz

Parenting commentator Nathan Wallis joins Paddy Gower to talk about what to do when child only wants the other parent.

Dr Lucy Foulkes is an academic psychologist at the University of Oxford, and her new book draws on decades of research to reveal why teens behave they way they do. 

A University of Auckland led study has investigated how parents discuss setbacks with their children - and the correlation with a child's fear of making mistakes.

Tips and tricks for keeping your cool with your children.

Clinical and health psychologist Dr Toni Lindsay says anxiety is a bit like chocolate: a little bit is ok, but too much can make you spin out. 

Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright discusses the different spoken language stages preschoolers go through as they learn to talk. 

Psychologist Jacqui Maguire discusses tips and advice for parents struggling to carry the mental load of parenting, family life and work.