Cowpunchers!

Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid directed by Sam Peckinpah and starring James Coburn, Kris Kristofferson and Bob Dylan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers make some connections between this and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Amy wants to know who left their gun in the outhouse. Stu curses Bob Dylan for making him feel feelings. Mel uncovers the secrets of the "coot suit". Unexpectedly, this movie seems to have it out for birds.

The Ox-Bow Incident directed by William A. Wellman and starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, and Harry Morgan.Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are once again up against a town of assholes. Amy finds a movie that does, indeed, begin as most Western do. Stu finds much in this movie's message that could be applied to today.

Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken directed by Steve Miner, and starring Gabrielle Anwar, Michael Schoeffling and Cliff Robertson. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers discuss a very odd, dare I say, confusing, scene of horse touching. Detective Amy begins to suspect Mel of having once been a horse girl. Mel has some quibbles with some of the horse husbandry in this film!

The Rifleman - Season 3 Episode 28: The Clarence Bibs Story and The Rifleman - Season 5 Episode 5: Death Never Rides AloneEpisode Round Up: The Cowpunchers enjoy a more violent version of the Andy Griffith Show! Or perhaps a less violent version of Gunsmoke? Either way, we are treated with appearances by Lee Van Cleef! Stu diagnoses your husband with a terminal case of "Coot". Mel is very pleased at the outcome of the Super Bowl. Amy devises a diabolical game to close out Sabatathon 2025!

Watch Out Gringo! Sabata Will Returndirected by Alfonso Balcázar and Pedro L. Ramírez, and starring Jorge Martín, Fernando Sancho, and Vittorio Richelmy.Episode Roundup:The Cowpunchers are baffled and distracted by one very unfortunate beard. Stu really wants to take a nap. Amy turns the recap into a deep philosophical discussion about the nature of existence. Mel draws connections between this movie, Shakespeare's Hamlet, puppets, and a really bad game of Telephone.

El Condor directed by John Guillermin and starring Jim Brown, Lee Van Cleef and Patrick O'Neal. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are delighted to see a new kind of Lee Van Cleef in our first episode for Sabatathon 2025! Amy left all her Santana references at home. Stu likes the hat tan. Mel wants to know what everyone in this movie has against underwear?? Stay till the end for the geography quiz and letters from our lovely listeners!

Once Upon a Time in the West directed by Sergio Leone and starring Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda, and Claudia Cardinale. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers make the determination that they'd be terrible 19th Century Robber Barons. Amy asks for "The Jug." Mel loved Claudia Cardinale's performance; hated her wardrobe. Whenever Stu gets thirsty, he asks for a cool, refreshing sip of Hat Water.

Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 directed by Kevin Costner and starring Kevin Costner, Sienna Miller and Sam Worthington. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers admit that none of them have what it takes to make it out West. Despite Mel's affection for the UK, she is reminded of why we threw the tea into the harbor. Stu is excited to see the accurate historical portrayal of a huxter. Despite her contentious relationship with the montage, Amy trusts Kevin Costner.

Troublemakers directed by Terence Hill and starring Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, and Boots Southerland. Episode Roundup: HO-HO-HOWDY! The Cowpunchers bring the holiday cheer (and a vat of beans) with this Christmas Classic! Stu is your bean-counter. Amy delights in a gruesome Christmas tree. Mel is undecided whether or not she liked this one.

The Cheyenne Social Club directed by Gene Kelly and starring James Stewart, Henry Fonda and Shirley Jones. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch some cowboys have a midlife crisis. Amy is too scared to dance in front of Gene Kelly. Stu thinks Jimmy Stewart needs to lighten up a little. Mel is glad that Jimmy Stewart and Henry Fonda fixed thier marriage.

Blood at Sundown (released as "Perché uccidi ancora") directed by José Antonio de la Loma, and starring Anthony Steffen, Ida Galli, and Gemma Cuervo. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are nearly trampled to death by a cavalcade of horse chases. Mel presents her scientific thesis pinpointing the exact moment that the movie began to suck. Amy is frustrated to find that none of the writers knew how siblings worked. Stu states that this movie is barely worth the price of admission, which is saying something because he watched it for free.

Forty Guns directed by Samuel Fuller and starring Barbara Stanwyck, Barry Sullivan and Dean Jagger. Episode Roundup: The cowpunchers are faced with relentless induendos in this 1950s Western. We handle it about as well as a handful of middle schoolers. Mel thinks that Griff's normal walk might be his super power. Stu is impressed by a large gathering of sweet looking dudes. Amy prefers a version of Tombstone where the leaders of the enemy factions want to SMOOCH. Stay 'til the end for an after Halloween treat as Mel gives a quick review of Bloodrayne II: Deliverance.

Ravenous directed by Antonia Bird and starring Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, and David Arquette. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers cook up a great discussion after watching this Halloween treat that gave them a lot to chew on! Amy draws a connection between MLMs and cannibalism. Stu makes that case that President Grant was a wendigo.

Rio Bravo directed by Howard Hawks and starring John Wayne, Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers accidentally ruin Rio Bravo for themselves, but hopefully, not for you! Stu threatens enter the spirit realm in order to contact John Wayne. Mel deletes Jerry Lewis from her memory. Amy proposes a Roman style leadership structure for coots.

Frontier Marshal directed by Allan Dwan and starring Randolph Scott, Nancy Kelly, and Cesar Romero. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are nearly overrun by an infestation of cowboys. Amy seeks directions to the next whiskey cart. Mel advises you to not threaten the people you like. Stu gets a lesson in how Vaudeville actors defend themselves in violent situations.

The Last of the Mohicans directed by Michael Mann and starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe and Russell Means. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are reminded why we threw the tea into the harbor. Mel finds this movie too close to her personal brand of stress dream! Amy does not recommend you get burned at the stake. Stu posits that the movie The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford is in fact still going on. Will Mel and Amy get better at geography? Stick around to the end to see how they do on the geography quiz! We also have another lovely letter from a lovely listener in the pony express this week!

Winchester '73 directed by Anthony Mann and starring Jimmy Stewart, Shelley Winters, Dan Duryea, and a gun. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers welcome you to the Gun Show. Amy regales us with tales of the One Rifle. Stu has all the Steve Miller Band puns you need. Mel heads over to the Sherwin Williams for a gallon of Dutch Henry Brown.

The Man from Snowy River directed by George Miller and starring Kirk Douglas, Tom Burlinson and Terence Donovan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers go back to a rainy day horse camp to watch a cozy movie while the boys are away. Amy wants to wrap herself in this movie like a big fluffy blanket. Mel wants to know why all the old west jerks are named Curly and is the evil horse a vampire??

Light the Fuse...Sartana is Coming directed by Giuliano Carnimeo and starring Gianni Garko, Nieves Navarro, and Massimo Serato. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in a festival of double-crosses. Stu is fascinated by the proliferation of tiny guns. Amy comes up with the follow up to the series "Is It Cake?"

True Grit directed by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers advise you to stay away from your local murder-hobo. Amy wonders why the Philadelphia Flyers Mascot - Gritty - was not included in either version of the film. Mel wonders if Matt Damon's "Matt Damon-ness" works for this character? Stu shares what types of bait one needs to leave out to attract a porch-full of coots. Rooster Cogburn, get your fingers out of my mouth!

True Grit directed by Henry Hathaway and starring John Wayne, Kim Darby, and Glen Campbell. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers reflect on awful childhood haircuts. Mel warns us of the dangers of fourteen-year-old horse girls who are good at math. Amy successfully describes a snake pit. Stu is impressed by John Wayne's lumbering.

Annie Oakley directed by George Stevens, starring Barbara Stanwyck, Preston Foster and Melvyn Douglas. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a 1930s biopic of Annie Oakley that is so loose with the facts that they forgot to put her husband in the film! Amy accidentally gets herself banned from watching any future Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies. Stu reveals himself to be a true feminist. Mel coins the new collective noun for coots, a Porchfull!

Cattle Queen of Montana directed by Allan Dwan and starring Barbara Stanwyck and Ronald Reagan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch another Reagan B-Movie where the "B" stands for "Blatant Propaganda." Amy would like to see Barbara Stanwyck shoot more creeps. Mel doesn't like the character that the movie told her to like. Stu gave up half way and just watched baseball.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers directed by Stanley Donen and starring Jane Powell, Howard Keel, and Jeff Richards. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers contemplate the question, "If a tree falls in the forest, and it crushes your parents, do you turn feral?" Amy unexpectedly learn a lot about ketchup. Mel successfully identifies the jumpy boy. Stu advises you to buy your crush a cheeseburger.

Calamity Jane directed by David Butler and starring Doris Day, Howard Keel and Allyn Ann McLerie.Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers observe some gals bein' pals! Mel and Amy categorize Calamity as a lady coot and have an interesting digression about teeth. Stu is enamored by Doris Day, and would prefer we stop talking about teeth. 

The Mask of Zorro directed by Martin Campbell and starring Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers discuss the issues inherent in "Horny Confessional." Mel revels in all the clever one liners. Stu identifies Catherine Zeta-Jones as this movie's "sexy howitzer." Mel gets best-in-class on the geography quiz simply by showing up.

Ride the High Country directed by Sam Peckinpah and starring Joel McCrea, Randolph Scott and Mariette Hartley Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers meet the drunkest judge, the most sinister set of brothers and your favorite western grandads. Amy declares that sometimes you just have to be a person! Stu becomes enamored with Randolph Scott. Mel is confused by Kate's choice of wedding attire. This episode is dedicated to Randolph Scott, and to a lesser extent, President Jimmy Carter.

Appaloosa directed by Ed Harris and starring Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and Renée Zellweger. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers encourage you to wash your butt. Amy conducts a thorough investigation to determine what are the female lead's motivations. Mel felt the movie didn't live up to its name. Stu enjoyed watching smug dudes getting shot.

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron directed by Kelly Asbury and Lorna Cook, starring Matt Damon, James Cromwell and Daniel Studi. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers aren't crying! You're crying! Stu pitches a new reality TV show: Horse Wives. Amy suggests you watch this one with subtitles. Mel gives a stern warning about petting wild bison.

Death Rides a Horse directed by Giulio Petroni, and starring Lee Van Cleef, John Phillip Law, and Mario Brega. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 ends with this bleak tale of greed and revenge. Mel is excited to hear Lee Van Cleef call someone an idiot. Stu concludes that if you trap Lee Van Cleef in a hotel room, you've only signed your own death warrant. Amy asks us all to roll for initiative.

Dig Your Grave, Friend... Sabata's Coming directed by Juan Bosch, starring Richard Harrison, Fernando Sancho and Raf Baldassarre. Episode Roundup: Can a Sabata by any other name be as cool? The Cowpunchers find out in this Sabata copycat containing a boat load of heinous hats, awkward fight foley work, and one truly unbelievable fake mustache. Amy picks a movie that is impossible to find, Mel uses all of her research powers to unearth it. Stu doesn't think this movie exists. We also answer a question from one of our lovely listeners about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly directed by Sergio Leone and starring Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 gets off to a solid start! The Cowpunchers highly recommend that you drop everything and watch this movie right now. They also recommend that you don't go out and get hit by a train. Mel presents her PhD thesis on this movie's costumes. Amy gets closer to outlining a scientific definition for "coot." This movie was so beautiful that it made Stu mad.

Blazing Saddles directed by Mel Brooks, and starring Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder and Slim Pickens. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are bombarded with hilarious gags. Amy can't remember the main character's name. Mel researches some references that went over our heads. Stu writes to Hollywood and asks to bring back the intermission.

Badland directed by Justin Lee and starring Kevin Makely, Trace Adkins, and Mira Sorvino. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers delve back into the depths of the worst movie they've ever seen only to discover...that they were WRONG. Mel admires the landscape of Kevin Makely's abs. Stu embraces the madness. Amy thinks we just weren't ready for this movie in 2020.

A Cowboy Christmas directed by Jeremy Drummond, starring Brenna Coates, Teagan Vincze and Brennan Martin. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are tricked into watching a non-western. Stu gets nit picks the cookie math. Mel is offended on behalf of Hallmark movies and recommends you watch a much better one. Amy posits that the sister is a secret murderer. What is Cole hiding under that hat??

For our 100th Episode the Cowpunchers discuss aspects of the genre, what makes a Western great, and watch every Western movie made before 1900 (at least the ones we could find). Mel won't get you the big knife. Stu gives a sober history of the saloon. Amy wonders if the movies we watched on this episode were truly Westerns or just current events of the 1890s.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford directed by Andrew Dominik and starring Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck and Sam Rockwell. Episode Roundup: The Cowpuncher watch nearly three hours of cowboy ASMR with bits of movie sprinkled in as a treat. Mel finds the narration unintentionally hilarious. Amy refers to Jeremy Renner exclusively as Hawkeye, and has trouble with the bro-code. Stu struggles to describe the shootout between Dick Liddil and Wood Hite without any innuendos.

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter directed by William Beaudine, and starring John Lupton, Narda Onyx, and Cal Bolder. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers get pedantic. Amy uses complex Non-Euclidean Geometry to explain the romantic subplot. Mel is holding out for a himbo. Stu observes someone's kink.

Billy the Kid versus Dracula directed by William Beaudine and starring John Carradine, Chuck Courtney and Melinda Casey. Episode Roundup: For our spooky Halloween special, the Cowpunchers discuss inappropriate ways to look at things. Pat takes umbrage with the inconsistent vampire lore. Amy is confused about how doctors are educated and hopes cryptid lore is included in the curriculum. Stu sends a rude postcard to Francis. Mel implores you to take it seriously when someone wants to "catholic" at the problem

More Dead Than Alive directed by Robert Sparr and starring Clint Walker, Anne Francis, and Vincent Price. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers attempt to adequately describe how big and tall Clint Walker is, but ultimately come up short. Amy advises you to not taunt unhinged young men with firearms. Mel is convinced Anne Francis is a time traveler. Stu comes up with a last minute Halloween costume.

The War Wagon directed by Burt Kennedy, starring John Wayne, Kirk Douglas and Howard Keel. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers reccomend you watch another movie. Stu posits that a train would be a more economical option. Amy forgets that train robberies exist. Mel fixes the movie by setting it inside Westworld. Stay to the end to hear a letter from a listener with some bonus 3:10 to Yuma facts!

3:10 to Yuma starring Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, and Ben Foster. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers want to know where Charlie Prince buys his jackets. Mel has valuable advice on where to store your high explosives. Amy says what we're all thinking, "Hey, $200 is $200, am I right?" Stu seriously doubts the medical accuracy of this movie.

3:10 to Yuma directed by Delmer Daves and starring Glenn Ford, Van Heflin and Felicia Farr. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers beg Mark to shut his mouth. Mel's eyebrows are living their best lives. Stu exhausts his thesaurus as he comes up with new names for Contention City. Amy critiques the heavy shots at the saloon.

Two Mules for Sister Sara directed by Don Siegel and starring Clint Eastwood and Shirley MacLaine. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in hearing Clint Eastwood say "ass." Mel tells the story of the largest rosary she's ever seen. Amy proposes using an exploding Bible as a weapon. Stu describes his ideal career; doing nothing.

I Am Sartana, Your Angel of Death directed by Giuliano Carnimeo and starring John Garko and Frank Wolff. Episode Roundup: This episode is bursting with fun surprises! Stay till the end to hear a lovely letter from a lovely listener, our world famous geography quiz (that Mel and Amy forgot to do on the last episode) and at the very very very end... Stu attempts to read through the show notes for the other Sartana movies we've watched. The Cowpunchers discuss the finer points of cowboy pokemon evolution, then nearly come to blows over Coot taxonomy. Stu wants to steal Sartana's outfit. Amy nearly dies. Mel loves Hot Dead. Contact us at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com or check our our Instagram! @CowpunchersPod

The Telegraph Trail directed by Tenny Wright and starring John Wayne, Duke the Wonder Horse, and Frank McHugh. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a movie that was as lazy as it was racist! Seriously, it was a wagon full of slurs paired with about 25 minutes of stock footage. Amy demands the release of the "scooch cut." Mel builds on the theory that "Fellowship of the Ring" is a Western.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre directed by John Huston and starring Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston and Tim Holt. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers talk delicious Texas peaches, what happens when you give a coot some gold, and that the true treasure was the friends we made along the way. Mel posits that this may be the prequel to Silverado, and advises you to not get bit by a gila monster. Amy provides some Mining Facts(TM). Stu tells us the badges he's earned while in the Coot Scouts and is impressed with how sweaty Humphrey Bogart looks.

Ringo's Big Night directed by Mario Maffei and starring William Berger, Adriana Ambesi, and Eduaro Fajardo Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers observe several subplots go out in search of a main story arc. Mel is so upset by observing numerous and flagrant equine safety violations that she calls Horse OSHA. Pat is viciously and mercilessly assaulted by Foley artistry. Stu moderates an intense discussion about horses the only way he knows how; by looking at memes.

Old Henry directed by Potsy Ponciroli and starring Tim Blake Nelson, Scott Haze and Gavin Lewis. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch the Western version of John Wick. Amy makes a lot of Pokémon references. Pat teaches us about cowboy guns. Stu is shocked by Chekov's Hogs.

Our first "Best Of" Episode! Enjoy this collection of our favorite jokes, gags, and bits from the last 3 years! Mel rants about Kenneth Branagh. Amy laughs hysterically at a list of stuffed horses. Pat gets mad at poor firearm/banjo handling. Stu observes a weird dinner. Episodes included: Arizona, Badland, Sabata, Shanghai Joe, Shakiest Gun in the West, Sabata Revisited, Sabata the Killer, the Grand Duel, White Buffalo, BloodRayne 2, Christmas Mountain, Boot Hill, Wild Wild West, Tombstone, Dodge City, My Names is Nobody, Trail of Robin Hood, Mark of Zorro 1920, High Noon, Return of Sabata.

The Mark of Zorro directed by Rouben Mamoulian and starring Tyrone Power, Linda Darnell and Basil Rathbone. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers gleefully return to Caballero night! Mel and Amy enjoy men's fashion. Stu doesn't believe this is a western at all. And finally -- Justice for Chihuahua! Send us a note at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com!