Eat Your Peas

If your relationship feels harder than it should, you might be playing two different games without realizing it. In this episode, I share how mismatched expectations, childhood blueprints, and unspoken needs create friction and how my Me → You → We process helps couples get on the same page. You'll learn how to rediscover yourself, relearn your partner, and recreate a relationship built on trust, respect, and growth.What You'll Learn:* Why you and your partner might be playing by different rules* The Me → You → We method for deeper connection* How to move from conflict to collaborationLinks & Resources:* Instagram: @lillyrachels* Free guide: Clear the Air: How to Say What's Bothering You (Without a Blow-Up) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

In today's episode, I'm unpacking a reel I saw recently that really bothered me. It suggested that you should strive not to care if your partner cheats — that detachment will somehow make you more desirable.Here's the thing: that's not detachment. That's avoidance.I get it, protecting yourself can feel safer than risking being hurt again. But building walls to avoid pain doesn't make you stronger. It just keeps you disconnected. I talk about what real emotional strength looks like, how avoidance masquerades as power, and why vulnerability is the key to healthy love.I also share one of my favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis that captures this beautifully.If you've been hurt before and find yourself pulling away from intimacy to stay “safe,” this episode is for you.

Ever felt yourself shut down after a tense moment with your partner, only to realize it wasn't really about the moment at all?In this episode, I share a personal story of conflict, emotional shutdown, and repair. I walk you through how childhood wounds still echo in adult relationships and what it truly takes to navigate those moments with courage and connection.You'll hear:* The childhood belief I uncovered that still affects how I receive feedback* What emotional distancing looks like in real time and how to come back from it* My thoughts on AI therapy and why human connection still mattersIf you've ever struggled to take feedback, felt “icy” in a relationship, or wondered why the little things hurt so much, this one's for you.

Feeling stuck in your relationship?This episode is for you. I'm sharing what stalemate looks like, how to move through resentment, and why emotional courage (and a little play) might be the reset you need.

In this unfiltered episode, I talk through grief, perfectionism, emotional armor, and my Friday night.Recorded from the mountains on the first day of summer — with dogs snoring nearby and tears still fresh — this is me, sharing honestly. About a client I lost. About why I do this work. And about how easy it is to isolate when what we really need is connection.If you're tired of holding it all together… this one's for you.

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, I share life updates, including an exciting new venture: Relational Somatics, a company focused on trauma training for practitioners. I also dive into recent reflections on relationships, boundaries, and people-pleasing, discussing how setting boundaries has transformed my personal and professional life.Follow Relational Somatics on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/relationalsomaticsKey Takeaways:* Big Life Update: Relational Somatics is a company offering trauma training for practitioners. Stay tuned for a free masterclass!* Boundaries & Self-Worth: You can have boundaries and still be liked. Setting boundaries isn't mean—it's necessary for healthy relationships.* People-Pleasing as Manipulation: People-pleasing often stems from a fear of being disliked, but true connection comes from authenticity, not approval-seeking.* Growth Through Discomfort: Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but it ultimately leads to deeper, healthier connections.»COMING SOON!«THE ENERGETICS OF COMMUNICATIONUnlock Your Voice, Deepen Your Connections, and Transform Your RelationshipsA 5-Module Mini-Course for Those Ready to Speak from Love and Lead with Confidence in Their Relationships

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the concept that " how you do anything is how you do everything." We examine how our internal patterns influence all areas of life, especially under pressure. I share a personal story of self-reflection, explaining how to identify the root of negative emotions and choose a more intentional experience in relationships and everyday life.Key Takeaways* Core Concept: How you respond to any situation reveals what's inside you. Under stress or comfort, your true self comes through in all areas of life.* Choosing Your Experience: You can choose how you respond to tasks or situations, even those you don't enjoy, by focusing on how they benefit your long-term goals.* Growth Through Discomfort: Doing uncomfortable things—whether physical or emotional—can lead to long-term growth and healthier relationships.* Emotional Regulation: Feel the full range of your emotions without letting them control your actions or dictate your behavior.* Relationship Impact: Small frustrations in relationships often reveal deeper unresolved feelings. It's essential to address these internally rather than acting out.Feel to HealFeeling overwhelmed by emotions and stuck in a loop of overthinking?Download your FREE Feel to Heal Starter Kit:* Quick Step-by-Step Guide to help you identify and release intense emotions without running, avoiding, or shutting down.* A soothing 5-minute Grounding Meditation designed to quiet your mind and ease emotional overload. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore how to navigate overwhelming situations that are out of our control. I share three key strategies that help me shift from rumination and frustration to acceptance and peaceGet my FREE guide and meditation FEEL TO HEAL.Key Takeaways:* Prayer – Praying for the person or situation helps shift your energy, release resentment, and bring a sense of peace.* Meditation – Sitting in stillness allows you to process emotions, quiet your mind, and detach from the need for control.* Move Your Body – Physical movement, like walking or yoga, helps release pent-up emotions and bring clarity.Feel to HealFeeling overwhelmed by emotions and stuck in a loop of overthinking?Download your FREE Feel to Heal Starter Kit:* Quick Step-by-Step Guide to help you identify and release intense emotions without running, avoiding, or shutting down.* A soothing 5-minute Grounding Meditation designed to quiet your mind and ease emotional overload.https://relearnrelationships.myflodesk.com/feeltoheal Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In today's episode of Relearn Relationships, we discuss breakups and how to reframe the idea of "relationship failure." I share a personal story about my own divorce and the mindset shift that helped me see relationships—not through the lens of longevity but through growth.Key Takeaways:* A relationship doesn't have to last forever to be successful.* Growth, self-discovery, and lessons learned are markers of a meaningful relationship.* Breakups aren't a sign of failure—they're an opportunity to reflect, heal, and evolve.* You are the common denominator in your relationships—self-reflection is key to breaking unhealthy patterns.Feel to HealFeeling overwhelmed by emotions and stuck in a loop of overthinking?Download your FREE Feel to Heal Starter Kit:* Quick Step-by-Step Guide to help you identify and release intense emotions without running, avoiding, or shutting down.* A soothing 5-minute Grounding Meditation designed to quiet your mind and ease emotional overload.https://relearnrelationships.myflodesk.com/feeltoheal This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Free Guide + 5-Minute Grounding Meditation to Calm AnxietyIn this episode of Relearn Relationships, I share the three practical tools I use to quiet my mind to fully engage with my partner. These techniques have transformed how I show up in my relationships, and they can do the same for you.Key TakeawaysOverthinking and Listening:Overthinking doesn't mean you're a bad listener, but it can pull you out of the present moment.Childhood patterns often create overthinking habits—give yourself grace as you learn to break them.The Power of Body Language:Open body posture signals receptiveness to others and also to yourself (e.g., uncrossed arms, palms facing up in your lap).Maintain gentle eye contact to stay focused and help your partner feel heard.Regulating Breath:Slow, deep breaths help ground you and calm an anxious or racing mind.Avoid sighing, which can send the wrong signal to your partner.Summarizing to Clarify:Summarizing and sharing what your partner said to ensure understanding and reduce miscommunication.This method keeps you engaged in the conversation while minimizing assumptions.Download your FREE Feel to Heal Starter Kit HERE* Quick Step-by-Step Guide to help you identify and release intense emotions without running, avoiding, or shutting down.* A soothing 5-minute Grounding Meditation designed to quiet your mind and ease emotional overload. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Why Making Yourself the Problem Makes You the SolutionIn this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the transformative power of personal responsibility. Instead of blaming others for failed relationships, we discusses how identifying yourself as part of the problem opens the door to growth and lasting change. Through introspection, vulnerability, and actionable steps, you can let go of baggage, reclaim your agency, and become the solution to the challenges in your relationships. This heartfelt conversation is packed with personal insights and strategies for creating the love and connection you truly desire.Join for FREE: www.relearnrelationships.comKey Takeaways:Agency Over Your Life: Taking responsibility for your role in a situation gives you the power to change it, unlike blaming external factors, which leaves you feeling stuck.Self-Reflection is Key: Examine your fears and patterns to understand how they impact your relationships. You are the common denominator in all your experiences.Healing is Essential: Childhood trauma or past relationship wounds might not be your fault, but healing them is your responsibility to foster love and connection.Break the Cycle: Unhealed wounds and defensive behaviors can perpetuate unhealthy patterns. Address them to open yourself to a healthy, thriving relationship.Prepare for Love: By shedding fear and letting go of pain, you can become more receptive to deep, meaningful relationships. Don't carry past hurt into your future.Don't Victimize Yourself: Moving from a victim mindset to a growth-oriented one is the first step toward building the relationships you want. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the painful and confusing experience of wanting to be close to someone but finding yourself unintentionally pushing them away. This dynamic often stems from unhealed emotional wounds and protective patterns. Learn why grounded and healthy relationships can feel confusing and how to address the barriers preventing deep connection.Book a walk-and-talk session:https://buy.stripe.com/3cs01m9CU9sg4CYfZwJoin Relearn Relationships for FREE:https://www.relearnrelationships.com/3 Silent Killers of Relationships Masterclass:https://stan.store/lillyrachelsKey Takeaways:Understand the Push-Pull Dynamic:A desire to connect paired with self-protective behavior often creates emotional distance. Hypervigilance and fear of rejection contribute to overthinking and relationship sabotage.Foundation of Emotional Safety:It is crucial to differentiate between a good-willed partner and one who contributes to insecurity. A relationship built on mutual care and respect is the foundation for growth.Childhood Trauma: Adverse experiences and disordered attachment in early years shape how we approach relationships.Unresolved Baggage: Past relationship wounds influence present emotions and behaviors.Emotional Suppression or Projection: Internalized feelings and unmet needs create inner turmoil.Healthy Relationships Feel Different:Stability may feel uncomfortable, even boring if you're wired for instability. Recognizing this as a Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the power of words in shaping your relationship From shifting negative talk to fostering connection through positive communication, this episode highlights how small changes in language can lead to big transformations.Upcoming Event:Join The Three Silent Killers of Relationships Masterclass on January 9, 2025. Learn how to tackle common communication issues and build a healthier, happier relationship.

In this episode, we reflect on 2024 and set relationship goals for the new year. I share how I evaluate what worked and what didn't in my relationships and how to do this with compassion and curiosity. I talk about three common challenges—unspoken expectations, assumptions, and miscommunication—which we will cover in-depth in a free virtual masterclass in January!FREE virtual masterclass: The Big 3: Silent Killers of Relationships (and How to Easily Tackle Them)You'll learn:>> The 3 silent killers that ruin your relationships.>> Simple ways to tackle each one and rebuild connection.>> Practical tools to improve communication and trust.*Access to the replay, sent to everyone who signs up.Save your seat: https://relearnrelationships.myflodesk.com/jan-masterclass*** IF IT IS PAST JANUARY 9TH 2025 AND YOU WANT THE MASTERCLASS EMAIL support@lillyrachels.com for info***Key Takeaways from today's episode:Reflect on Your Year: What worked well in your relationship this year? What didn't? Approach this reflection without judgment.Common Communication Pitfalls: Unspoken expectations, assumptions about your partner, arguing over different issues in the same fight.Solutions for Growth: Cultivate self-awareness and take responsibility for your actions, lead with love, compassion, and respect in your relationships, and focus on your own growth, which can positively influence your partner. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the fear of rejection and how it impacts your relationships. Lilly dives into the roots of this fear, stemming from childhood experiences, and examines how it manifests as self-sabotaging behaviors like keeping others at arm's length or constantly seeking validation. You'll learn to distinguish between real and imagined fears, break the cycle of self-rejection, and open yourself up to love and connection.Action Steps:Reflect on whether your fears are real or imagined.Begin a meditation practice to ground yourself in the present moment.Consider booking a Walk and Talk session with Lilly for personalized support in addressing the root causes of your fear. https://buy.stripe.com/3cs01m9CU9sg4CYfZwSubscribe to Relearn Relationships for more insights, clarity questions, and actionable advice to transform your relationships.https://www.relearnrelationships.com/Key Takeaways:Fear of Rejection: Often includes fears of judgment, abandonment, and unworthiness.Origins of Fear: These fears are typically rooted in childhood experiences and untreated emotional wounds.Manifestation in Relationships: Behaviors like pushing others away, overthinking, or looking for signs of rejection create a self-fulfilling prophecy.Real vs. Imagined Fears:Real fears are grounded in present evidence within the relationship.Imagined fears stem from past experiences or anxiety about the future.Steps to Overcome Fear:Practice mindfulness and meditation to stay present.Address and heal past wounds.Use affirmations like, “I'm open to the possibility of love.”Embrace Vulnerability: Authenticity is key to meaningful relationships. Let down your fear-driven walls to create genuine intimacy. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Welcome back to Relearn Relationships! In this episode, we explore the two major barriers to effective communication in relationships: misunderstandings and assumptions. You'll get practical tools for fostering clarity and curiosity to strengthen your connections and keep relationships thriving.Go Deeper:Star HERE.Buy a Walk + Talk Session HERE.Key Takeaways:Communication as the Lifeblood of Relationships:Poor communication erodes the foundation of relationships, leading to hidden parts of yourself, unmet needs, and resentment.Misunderstandings:Happen when partners aren't on the same page during conversations or conflicts.Solution: Summarize/paraphrase what you hear and ask for clarification with an open, curious mindset.Shift your mindset: You and your partner are fighting the problem, not each other.Assumptions:Making assumptions shuts down communication and leaves no room for growth.Solution: Challenge assumptions by asking yourself why you're assuming and stay open to being wrong.Actionable Tools for Better Communication:Summarize what you hear and ask, “Is this what you mean, or is it something else?”Notice when you're assuming and ask yourself what could happen if your assumption is wrong.Leave space for your partner's growth and evolution—stay curious. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Welcome back to Relearn Relationships! In this episode, we dive into the power of gratitude and how cultivating a daily gratitude practice can transform your relationships. Lilly introduces a 31-day gratitude and meditation challenge happening on her Substack this December and explains how both specific and nonspecific gratitude practices can shift your mindset and improve your connections with others.You'll learn how to implement a simple gratitude routine, the science behind its effectiveness, and why focusing on positive emotions helps you overcome relationship friction.Links:Join the Gratitude and Meditation Challenge: HERE.Key Takeaways:Gratitude Transforms Relationships: Regular gratitude practices help you focus on the positives in challenging areas of your life, whether it's a relationship, job, or personal growth.Specific vs. Nonspecific Practices:Nonspecific: Reflect on something in the last 24 hours that brought you joy.Specific: Focus on a single person or area (e.g., work, parenting) and find daily gratitude there.Steps for a Specific Gratitude Practice:Choose a focus (e.g., partner, boss, parenting).Write a gratitude statement.Reflect on why it matters and how it makes you feel.Visualize the situation and notice the emotions it evokes in your body.Meditation Enhances Gratitude: Spending just 5 minutes focusing on your breath after your gratitude practice helps reinforce a calm and positive mindset.Train Your Brain for Positivity: Gratitude activates your Reticular Activating System (RAS), training your brain to notice and appreciate the good around you.Community Helps: Meditating and practicing gratitude with others fosters accountability and shared growth. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the transformative power of vulnerability and its role in fostering deeper, more meaningful connections. From breaking down protective shields to rebuilding trust after being hurt, this conversation sheds light on how openness can strengthen relationships and create lasting bonds.Go Deeper:Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack for weekly Clarity Questions and Action Steps.www.relearnrelationships.comFounding members get a 60-minute Relationship Strategy session with Lilly.www.relearnrelationships.com/subscribeKey Takeaways:Humans Are Wired for Connection:We thrive in community and relationships. Early experiences of disconnection can create protective patterns that block intimacy.Patterns of Protection:Protective behaviors like hyper-independence may seem positive but often stem from unresolved trauma.These patterns can prevent genuine vulnerability and keep relationships shallow.The Breaking Point:Vulnerability often emerges when protective shields can no longer hold. Sharing openly can deepen connections, as seen through personal experiences.Deep Relationships Require Vulnerability:Your relationships can only be as deep as your willingness to show your true self, including the pain and struggles. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we dive into the importance of openly communicating what's on your mind instead of letting unspoken assumptions or fears create destructive narratives in your relationship. By understanding how our past shapes these patterns, we can learn to break free from self-sabotaging thoughts and foster healthier, more secure connections.Go Deeper:Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack for weekly Clarity Questions and Action Steps.www.relearnrelationships.comFounding members get a 60-minute Relationship Strategy session with Lilly.www.relearnrelationships.com/subscribeKey Takeaways:Communicate, Don't AssumeSilence fuels negative assumptions. Clear communication prevents self-created, hurtful narratives.Self-Sabotaging MindsetsA “waiting for the other shoe to drop” mentality can lead to unnecessary fears, often undermining a healthy relationship.Self-Fulfilling PropheciesSeeking evidence for our fears, we often act in ways that strain relationships, confirming our doubts.Hypervigilance PatternsChildhood instability can lead to overthinking and taking on others' emotions in relationships.Breaking Overthinking CyclesRecognizing ingrained patterns from our upbringing helps us break free and allow deeper intimacy.Awareness as a Path to ChangeUnderstanding our patterns and triggers is the first step to dismantling defenses and building secure, open connections. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we dive into relationship polarity and what we can learn from the characters Beth and Rip in Yellowstone. Using this example, we explore how balancing masculine and feminine energies can bring harmony—or create disconnection—depending on how well partners honor each other's natural expression. We discuss why trying to change your partner's emotional style can diminish attraction and how tuning into your own body can help bridge differences.Beth and Rip don't show us a healthy relationship. There is HIGH dysfunction on both sides. I'm using these characters as a fun example. :)Key Takeaways:Understand Polarity in Relationships: Masculine and feminine energies each bring unique strengths to relationships. Balancing these energies enhances attraction and connection.Avoid Trying to Change Your Partner's Style: Pushing a partner to communicate like you may cause disconnection; respect each other's natural energy.Embrace Emotional Awareness: Recognize your emotions in your body to reduce reactivity and deepen understanding.Masculine and Feminine Bond Differently: Women often bond through sharing, while men bond through solving. Recognizing this helps us appreciate each other's approaches.Honoring Attraction through Polarity: Encouraging your partner to stay true to their energy (masculine or feminine) strengthens attraction and intimacy.Go Deeper:Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack for weekly Clarity Questions and Action Steps.www.relearnrelationships.comFounding members get a 60-minute Relationship Strategy session with Lilly. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In today's episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore why taking action and having that honest conversation matters so much more than getting lost in overthinking. Lilly shares a personal story about how assumptions, internal processing, and a lack of communication nearly ended a close friendship. Tune in to learn how vulnerability, emotional awareness, and intentional conversations can prevent misunderstandings from snowballing and strengthen the bonds that matter.Key Takeaways:Overthinking vs. Open Communication: Processing alone can create inaccurate stories in our minds about others' intentions. Speaking up can save us from these spirals.The Impact of Assumptions: Assuming without asking shuts down communication and hinders connection. Curiosity, instead of assumptions, keeps relationships clear and healthy.The Power of Vulnerability: Facing discomfort and using your voice, even when it feels risky, builds trust and clears up misunderstandings.Emotion Awareness: Recognizing emotions in the moment, rather than intellectualizing them, allows us to respond authentically and make healthier choices in relationships.Clarity in Needs: Once we're clear on what we feel, it's essential to voice the impact of the experience and express what's needed to move forward.Go Deeper:Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack for clarity questions and action steps on attachment styles.www.relearnrelationships.comFounding members get a 60-minute Relationship Strategy session with Lilly. Thank you for subscribing. Share this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.relearnrelationships.comWhat we cover in this workshop:Understanding Your Flight ResponseWe'll explore why you tend to flee or avoid conflict, diving into the emotional and psychological reasons behind this instinct. You'll gain clarity on how your past experiences, particularly from childhood, influence your present behavior in relationships.Emotional Regulation ToolsLearn powerful techniques to manage anxiety and stay calm in the heat of the moment. You'll walk away with practical tools that help you stay grounded and present, even when conversations get tough.Conflict Resolution SkillsDiscover strategies for approaching conflict in a productive and compassionate way. You'll learn how to express your emotions clearly, listen actively, and set healthy boundaries that create space for both you and your partner to feel heard and understood.Facing Discomfort Without FleeingMaster the art of leaning into discomfort. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, you'll gain the confidence to stay and work through them, creating stronger emotional connections in the process.Want to go deeper?Book a Relationship Strategy Session HERE. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

WORKSHOP: How to Face Conflict Without Running AwayBecome a Paid subscriber to attend HERE.ORBuy a class pass HERE.In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore emotional reactivity in overthinkers who internalize emotions rather than express them. Through relatable stories and examples, we'll look at how high emotional reactivity impacts our relationships and how it might show up differently for those who appear calm on the outside but experience intense emotions within. This episode unpacks the internal struggles of overthinkers, the impact of unexpressed emotions, and the journey toward achieving true emotional regulation and peace.Key Takeaways:Emotional Reactivity Emotional reactivity can look like an adult “tantrum”—but it can also be quieter, showing up as mental rehearsal or overthinking. Even those who seem calm outwardly may struggle with high emotional reactivity internally, feeling anxious, guarded, or deeply hurt while appearing composed.Signs of Internalized Emotional TurmoilPeople who internalize emotions often struggle with anxiety and overthinking, leading to mental “stories” or “what-ifs.” Rather than outwardly reacting, they may withdraw or put up emotional walls to feel safe.The Importance of Developing Internal StabilityWhen we regulate ourselves emotionally, external events don't shake us as easily, helping us build resilience and peace in relationships.Go Deeper:If today's episode resonated with you, subscribe to Relearn Relationships for more insights into navigating emotional challenges in relationships. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode, Lilly explores how attachment styles—shape our relationships. Instead of labeling yourself as one specific style, she encourages seeing attachment as a continuum. The episode emphasizes that while attachment styles are formed in childhood, they can be changed through awareness and inner child work.Key Points:Attachment Styles as a Continuum: Avoidant, anxious, and secure are points on a spectrum, not fixed labels.Labels as Limiting: Labels can be used to justify unhealthy behaviors; it's better to view attachment styles with curiosity and growth in mind.Childhood Influence: Your attachment style is shaped by early experiences with caregivers but can be changed through self-awareness.Secure Attachment: Formed through consistent, responsive caregiving. It leads to trusting relationships, self-esteem, and emotional sharing.Anxious Attachment: Results from inconsistent caregiving, leading to fear of abandonment and distress in relationships.Avoidant Attachment: Develops when needs are neglected, causing emotional distance and intimacy issues.Self-Awareness for Change: Understanding why you've developed certain attachment tendencies helps heal and change those patterns.Actionable Insight: Inner child work is the key to healing attachment wounds and moving toward secure attachment.Go Deeper:Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack for clarity questions and action steps on attachment styles.www.relearnrelationships.comFounding members get a 60-minute Relationship Strategy session with Lilly to explore their attachment style and move towards secure attachment. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Welcome back to the Relearn Relationships Podcast! In today's episode, Lilly dives deep into the topic of conflict in relationships and how our early childhood experiences shape the way we navigate disagreements with our partners as adults.Lilly also introduces the concept of the Enneagram Triads and explains how understanding your Enneagram type, and your partner's, can help you identify your natural tendencies during conflict—whether you move towards, against, or away from your partner. Armed with this knowledge, you'll be better equipped to navigate disagreements and create space for healthier communication.What we cover in this episode:How childhood experiences shape our adult reactions to conflict.The impact of withdrawing, acting out, or suppressing emotions in relationships.Why learning to use your voice is crucial for building connection.Introduction to Enneagram conflict styles and how they influence the way you handle disagreements.Practical tips for staying present and calm during heated moments.Join the Relearn Relationships Community! Ready to dive deeper into transforming your relationship patterns and learning effective communication skills? Join for free today!www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Lean into GratitudeIn this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the power of gratitude and its profound impact on relationships. You'll discover how cultivating gratitude can transform your perspective and enhance your connection with your partner.www.relearnrelationships.comTopics covered include:* Why gratitude is key to healthy, supportive relationships.* How our thoughts shape our reality and limit our possibilities.* The Reticular Activating System (RAS) and how it filters our experiences.* The importance of appreciating small things in your relationship.* Practical steps to start a daily gratitude practice.* How gratitude rewires your brain to see more positivity in your relationship and life.Ready to go deeper? Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack to access exclusive content, tools for self-reflection, and insights to help you build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we dive deep into the importance of understanding your personal definition of love and how your childhood experiences shape the way you show up in your adult relationships. Lilly shares her own journey with love, revealing how her realized experience of love clashed with her aspirational ideals, creating confusion and friction in her relationships.www.relearnrelationships.comTopics covered include:The difference between your aspirational and realized definitions of love.How childhood experiences and perceptions shape your understanding of love.The distortion of love through attempts to "earn" it and the concept of unconditional relationships.How partners can have completely different ideas of love, leading to miscommunication and conflict.Practical steps to reflect on your own definition of love and how to begin reshaping it.Reflection Questions:Whose love did you crave the most as a child?What did you think you had to do to get that love?By exploring these questions, you'll begin to uncover patterns that influence how you give and receive love today. Join us as we explore how getting clear on your definition of love can transform your relationships.Ready to go deeper? Subscribe to Relearn Relationships on Substack to access exclusive content, tools for self-reflection, and insights to help you build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.relearnrelationships.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

In this episode of Growth Over Easy, I dive into communication in romantic relationships. Inspired by a concept from Jesse Itzler's newsletter, I explore how intentionality in our interactions can transform the way we connect with our partners.We often give our romantic partners the worst version of ourselves—something we wouldn't do with strangers or colleagues. I challenge you to reflect on your recent conversations with your partner: Would you speak to others the way you speak to them? If not, it may be time to reevaluate how you communicate in your relationship.If you find that the way you're communicating with your partner needs improvement, I'm here to help. Reach out to me at lilly@lillyrachels.com for a free consultation to explore how we can work together to repair and strengthen your relationship.Don't miss out on future episodes—subscribe to Growth Over Easy on Substack. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

Are you thinking about couples therapy? In this Walk + Talk, I will make a case for skipping couples therapy and what you can do instead. Growth Over Easy is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

Do your relationships have healthy boundaries? Listen to today's episode to better understand how boundaries help relationships thrive!Coming next week!Free Workshop: Stay in Love: Essential Boundary Skills for Healthy RelationshipsTuesday, June 5th, at 5:30 p.m. CT. The replay will be sent out to everyone registered.What You'll Learn:* What Healthy Boundaries Look Like* Discover the characteristics of healthy boundaries in relationships.* Understand how these boundaries foster respect, trust, and mutual understanding.* Why Boundaries Protect Love* Explore the connection between boundaries and love.* Learn how setting limits can actually enhance intimacy and connection.* How to Know if You Have “Leaky Boundary Syndrome”* Identify the signs of "Leaky Boundary Syndrome" where boundaries are too permeable.* Learn the impact of weak boundaries on your well-being and relationships.* Setting Boundaries Without Feeling Like a Jerk* Understand the importance of assertive communication.* Overcome the fear of seeming harsh or unkind while standing up for your needs.* Using The Blueprint Awareness Method to Heal “Leaky Boundary Syndrome”* Get introduced to the Blueprint Awareness Method, my unique approach to healing and strengthening boundaries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.growthovereasy.comWelcome to my first Campfire Conversation. This is a combined episode with my soul sister Carli Kahl, the host of Balanced with Boosty, we dive deep into friendship, mental health, emotional intelligence, and human design.

In our fast-paced world, convenience often takes priority over the process of crafting something meaningful. This trend has seeped into our relationships, where the quest for instant connection can overshadow the deeper, more rewarding work of building a solid foundation. The Joy of CraftRecently, while on holiday, I found joy in the simple act of making a matcha latte. It wasn't just about the drink; it was about the entire process—measuring the perfect amount of matcha, whisking it just right, and even using special ice cubes. This experience illuminated a key insight: the craft of creating something brings immense joy, far exceeding the ease of a quick, ready-made alternative.Convenience in Modern RelationshipsModern dating, especially through online platforms, often prioritizes convenience. Swiping through profiles becomes a rapid, almost mechanical task, reducing potential partners to mere data points. This approach can lead to unrealistic expectations, where we hope to find a perfect, fully-formed relationship without investing the necessary time and effort to build it.The Importance of Craft in RelationshipsBuilding a meaningful relationship requires patience and a willingness to embrace the process. When we enter a relationship with the mindset of building something together, we allow for growth and development, acknowledging that both partners may need to adjust and evolve.Steps to Embrace the Craft of Relationships* Know Yourself: Understand your core values, goals, and what you bring to a relationship. Self-awareness is crucial before seeking to understand someone else.* Align Values and Goals: In the initial stages of dating, focus on whether your long-term goals and core values align or complement each other. This foundational compatibility sets the stage for a strong partnership.* Be Open to Growth: Recognize that a relationship is an evolving entity. Relationships thrive when both partners are dedicated to personal and mutual growth and are willing to address and work through challenges.* Embrace Imperfection: Accept that no relationship is perfect from the start. Building a strong bond involves navigating through differences and learning to harmonize your lives.* Choose to Build: Understand that a great relationship is a choice. It's about committing to the process of crafting a life together, rather than seeking a ready-made solution.Great relationships aren't found, they are built.Ask yourself: am I looking for convenience, or am I ready to invest in the craft of a lasting relationship?If you struggle to connect and be in a long-term partnership, I can help. Via my Blueprint Awareness Method, I will guide you through breaking the unhealthy patterns that make relationships and emotional intimacy hard.Email lilly@lillyrachels.com for more information and to apply for coaching. Get full access to Growth Over Easy at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

Today we are talking about playing the tape forward and the importance of thinking long-term if you want your relationship to last.»Free Event: Master Relationship Communication«May 7th, 11 a.m. - 11:45 a.m. CTThe replay will be emailed to everyone registered. If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy party on Substack. Get full access to Growth Over Easy at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

Today I'm sharing my frustration regarding relationship conflict and couples breaking up. Get My 15-Minute Practices to Heal Your Relationship HERE.If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy community on Substack. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Let's talk about cultivating inner peace and why it's an inside job.New Program Alert! (early launch pricing)30-Day Anxiety Relief for Men* Do you struggle to unplug?* To sit still?* To be in the present moment?* Are you a high achiever with a racing mind? * Do you attach your value to your success?* Is this pattern leaving you with a sense of dread and restless nights?Join me for a 30-day Anxiety Relief program for Men.In this program, you will learn to:* Calm your mind* Address your overthinking triggers* Create space to rest* Communicate your struggles* Foster intimacy in your relationshipsYou don't have to live with anxiety. This program is for men ready to make a change and are looking for the tools to do it.Structure:* 4 private calls (60-minute each) tailored to your specific needs* 30 days of Voxer Acess (business hours) for accountability and supportInvestment: Early launch rate of $997. Price moves to $1200 after 3/31!Email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com to learn more!You matter. It's time to prioritize your mental health. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

In this workshop, we unpack the difference between masculine and feminine vulnerability and why suffering in silence harms your health and relationships. New Program Alert! (early launch pricing) 30-Day Anxiety Relief for Men* Do you struggle to unplug?* To sit still?* To be in the present moment?* Are you a high achiever with a racing mind? * Do you attach your value to your success?* Is this pattern leaving you with a sense of dread and restless nights?Join me for a 30-day Anxiety Relief program for Men. In this program, you will learn to: * Calm your mind* Address your overthinking triggers* Create space to rest* Communicate your struggles* Foster intimacy in your relationshipsYou don't have to live with anxiety. This program is for men ready to make a change and are looking for the tools to do it.Structure: * 4 private calls (60-minute each) tailored to your specific needs* 30 days of Voxer Acess (business hours) for accountability and supportInvestment: Early launch rate of $997. Price moves to $1200 after 3/31! Enroll HEREInterested but have questions? Email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com You matter. It's time to prioritize your mental health. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Today on Growth Over Easy Podcast we unpack the difference between emotional regulation + emotional suppression. Free Workshop March 27th at 5:00 p.m. CSTGrowth Over SilenceA Workshop for Men ready to break the stigma, communicate their struggles, and access the support they deserve.You matter. It's time to prioritize your mental health.Subscribe to save your seat. (replay will be emailed out after).Add the workshop to your calendar HERE. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Let's talk about the problem with using humor to bypass uncomfortable emotions and what you can do instead.Free Workshop March 27th at 5:00 p.m. CTGrowth Over SilenceA Workshop for Men ready to break the stigma, communicate their struggles, and access the support they deserve.You matter. It's time to prioritize your mental health.This event will be a live Zoom (to get the Replay please Subscribe).Add Workshop to your calendar HERE. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Let's talk about communication and why sharing the context of your struggles benefits your relationship. Curious about coaching? Let's chat, book a Virtual Coffee with Lilly, or email Lilly at lilly@lillyrachels.com.If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy community on Substack. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Please enjoy the replay of How to Calm Your Mind: An Over-thinker's Guide to Peace.Are you stuck in your head? Do you often avoid uncomfortable conversations, criticize yourself, or find yourself ruminating on past situations? Perhaps words get stuck in your throat during stressful moments, leading you to isolate and struggle to express your needs in relationships. Do you feel lonely, and disconnected, and tend to suppress your anger, feeling like you're fighting this battle alone?The Problem:Many of my clients come to me due to overthinking, experiencing anxiety, and having difficulty communicating what they want and what they need. Despite trying mindset shifts, biohacking, and endless YouTube solutions, they find that nothing sticks. That's because it's not just about mindset; it's a deeper pattern issue that requires diving beneath surface-level solutions.Why I Can Help:I'm a relationship coach with a Master's in Social Work. My background includes therapy, personal training, and trauma-sensitive yoga instruction. Unlike quick fixes, my method focuses on understanding and treating the root causes of emotional and communicative disconnect. I specialize in Inner-Child Work, Grief Support, and Relationship Communication, offering a unique approach that goes beyond traditional methods.What You'll Experience:* Breaking Free from Destructive Patterns: Identify and move beyond patterns keeping you isolated. Rewire your brain for deeper connection and understanding.* Learning to Stop Overthinking and Find Peace of Mind: Silence the critical inner voice that leads to overthinking, allowing you to embrace gratitude and emotional availability, and find peace of mind amidst life's challenges.* Mastering Confident Communication and Emotional Expression: Communicate with love and confidence, expressing your needs without hesitation.The Structure:Your 3-month journey with me includes 12 personalized 1:1 sessions tailored to your unique needs. You'll also receive daily Voxer support, for real-time guidance, and weekly accountability check-ins to ensure progress and growth.Client Testimonials:Bob, Business Owner: "I got more out of a 40-minute call with you than 5 months with my therapist."Jon, Realtor: "Lilly's coaching program was customized to fit my evolving needs... She has a nonjudgmental, empathetic ear coupled with an understanding of the human condition."Amy, Teacher: "I have learned how to be more compassionate towards myself, which was the beginning of an abundance in life."Denise, Nurse: "I have a better relationship with my family, friends, and most importantly, with myself."Commonly Asked Questions:Q: Is this coaching right for me?A: If you're tired of feeling stuck in destructive patterns and crave genuine connection and emotional resilience, this coaching is for you.Q: What if I can't afford the full investment right now?A: Flexible payment plans are available through Affirm, making it easier and more accessible to invest in your growth.Q: How soon can I expect to see results from coaching?A: Results vary depending on individual circumstances and commitment to the process. Many clients report noticeable improvements in their communication, emotional resilience, and relationships within the first few weeks of coaching.Interested in Coaching?Reach out today to schedule your complimentary consultation and take the first step towards a more connected and fulfilling life.Email: lilly@lillyrachels.com or book a time HERE. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Let's talk about anxiety and how you don't have to keep living with it. Come join my next free workshop on February 27th: How to Calm Your Mind: an Overthinker's Guide to Peace. Save your seat HERE.Curious about coaching? Let's chat, book a Virtual Coffee with Lilly, or email Lilly at lilly@lillyrachels.com.If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy community on Substack. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com

Let's talk about overthinking and four ways it keeps you from connecting with others. Need support?Book a Virtual Coffee with Lilly HERE or email Lilly at lilly@lillyrachels.com.If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy community on Substack.If you know anyone who could benefit from this podcast please share it with them. Get full access to Growth Over Easy at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

In this workshop, we begin to unpack the stages of grief. Grief is not a linear journey. The Stages of Grief represent experiences, not a set map to follow. You may experience different stages more than once. Be patient with yourself. Grief can be complicated - you don't have to go through it alone.Curious about what support would look like? Book a Virtual Coffee with me. Get full access to Growth Over Easy at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

A simple practice to begin releasing suppressed emotions.Grief can be complicated - you don't have to go through it alone.Need some support?Book a Virtual Coffee with Lilly HERE or email Lilly at lilly@lillyrachels.com.If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy community on Substack.SubscribedIf you know anyone who could benefit from this podcast please share it with them. Get full access to Growth Over Easy at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

Let's talk about anger and how it shows up when you are moving through grief.Grief can be complicated - you don't have to go through it alone.Need some support?Book a Virtual Coffee with Lilly HERE or email Lilly at lilly@lillyrachels.com.If you are listening to this on a podcast platform come join the Growth Over Easy community on Substack.If you know anyone who could benefit from this podcast please share it with them. Get full access to Growth Over Easy at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe

Let's talk about complicated grief and how to stop suppressing and escaping, and start healing.Need more support? Confused about where to start? Email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com to sign up for a Free Support Call (30 min). Get full access to Growth Over Easy at growthovereasy.substack.com/subscribe

Let's talk about the complicated grief that comes with losing a parent you had a rough relationship with.If you are in the middle of a life transition/grief and need support please email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com.  Get full access to Growth Over Easy at growthovereasy.substack.com/subscribe

This one is a little different. I share my experience with grief and the holidays. If you are in the middle of a life transition/grief and need support please email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com.  Get full access to Growth Over Easy at growthovereasy.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I share what I do when I'm struggling with indecision. If you are interested in coaching with me email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com

Let's talk about the complicated grief that comes with losing a parent you had a rough relationship with.If you are in the middle of a life transition/grief and need support please email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com. 

This one is a little different. I share my experience with grief and the holidays. If you are in the middle of a life transition/grief and need support please email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com.