Half Better

Happy holidays and Happy New Year! We're popping into the podcast feed to share with you that mostly unintentionally, we've been saying no to the podcast for a few months now. And as we're resetting for 2020, setting our goals and focus for the year, we've decided to intentionally step back from the podcast (for now). We are forever grateful to have published 65 episodes. Thank you thank you thank you. And this isn't goodbye forever. Here are some ways to stay in touch: * stay subscribed to the feed. . . you never know when we might pop back in again to say hey! * sign up for our email newsletter (and receive a free audio training from us called A Couple's Guide to Setting and Supporting Goals): https://halfbetter.us/goals * speaking of email, shoot us a note at hello@halfbetter.us (mailto:hello@halfbetter.us) * finally, follow us on Instagram (I think we're intentionally coming back to that social network slowly but surely) * @lesleymlang (https://www.instagram.com/lesleymlang/?hl=en) * @zachary_lang (https://www.instagram.com/zachary_lang/) Until next time, we wish you and your better half the best on your journey of personal development, Together.

As important as it is to have a plan for doing work, it is perhaps more important to have a plan for rest, relaxation, self-care, and sleep. ~ Akiroq Brost On today's episode we dive a little deeper into self care. What is working for us, what are some tips and tricks, and how do we help each other as partners? We use the Full Focus Planner's new Self Care Planner as a framework for our conversation. We go through: Sleep Eat Move Connect Relax

Joyce Meyer said, "I believe that the greatest gift you can give your family and the world is a healthy you." Brendon Burchard states that if there is one piece of advice he can give to his productivity clients, it would be to take a year and get in the best shape of your life possible. With those in thoughts in mind and knowing that October is Breast Cancer awareness month -- something very near and dear to my heart as there is history of Breast Cancer in my family -- we have two guests on today to talk about Environmental Toxins (specifically within cosmetics) and how they can can affect your health. . . and ultimately your productivity. Lesley here. This week, I chat with Director Jessica Wall and Senior Consultant Dr. Tijana Sefic Eby of BeautyCounter to talk about the risk of environmental toxins to your health and the role that switching to safer skin care and cosmetics can play in prevention. Additionally, I am excited to talk with both of them because both are moms who work multiple side hustles. How do they make time for a side hustle and fit in into their life? We explore the power of a strong why, and how finding connection with other women and entrepreneurs brought unexpected joy into each of their lives. I hope you enjoy the episode, and join us in our listener challenge for Breast Cancer Awareness Month: - text BETTERBEAUTY to 52886 in the US - switch out one skin care/beauty product to a safer choice (www.beautycounter.com/lesleylang) - and if there is one thing you do - please do a breast exam every month!!!! Where to find Jessica Wall: - The CounterCurrent Facebook Group (https://m.facebook.com/groups/194516981238387?ref=share) - Instagram (www.instagram.com/countercurrentmama) Where to find Dr. Tijana Eby - https://www.healthybeingwellness.com/ - Instagram (http://instagram.com/healthybeingwellness) - Facebook (http://facebook.com/healthybeingwellness) Check out the BeautyCounter Holiday Line here: https://www.beautycounter.com/lesleylang?goto=/products/gifts

Today on the podcast, we discuss the book Make Time by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky. The book helps you to see the value in the Make Time Framework, which helps you to choose what you want to focus on, build energy to do the work you want to do, and then break your default habits so that you can actually focus and be intentional about the way you live your life. Literally - its about making time for what matters. The Make Time Framework is 4 steps, repeated every single day. The four steps are: Highlight Laser Energize Reflect The book is chock full of 80+ tactics to try and figure out how to make the framework work best for you. We love how it's not a one size fits all approach and we have a lot of fun discussing several of the tactics that we have opted to try out. We hope you enjoy it, and encourage you to try some of the tactics out! Until next time, we wish you and your better half the best on your journey of personal development, together.

The pursuit of goals, personal development, even just getting by day-to-day (with or without a task list) can sometimes feel chaotic and never-ending. What if we could use a filter to help us focus on what is really important to us? That's why we recommend using the Rule of 3 to help guide you through your year, quarter, week, and day. In today's podcast, we go into detail about how to achieve the life you want by: deciding on 7-10 goals to pursue throughout a year focusing on 3 goals for a 3-month period (quarter) breaking up the goals into 3 manageable outcomes per week getting to work on those outcomes through the daily action of 3 tasks In terms of a partner perspective, we recommend at the least sharing your 3 goals/objectives with your partner for the year, the quarter, and the week. These conversations can be really interesting dives into what is important for your partner and your family, how you can support each other. We think it might get a little tedious to share Daily Big 3 with a partner, however, we recommend sharing a win at the end of the day. Studies show that when you share joy with someone, it increases your sense of well-being. That little boost to your motivation might be just what you need to wade through the resistance and the messy middle of completing a goal. Until next time, we wish you and your better half the best on your journey of personal development, together.

"We can’t improve what we don’t assess." ~ Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy Lesley and Zachary chat about a weekly (p)review - what it is, how to do it, and how it can help you feel a little more centered and less frazzled even when you're super busy. Topics include: why a weekly (p)review doesn't have to be complicated the basic framework they use every week the importance of scheduling the (p)review how to make the time special sharing components of a weekly (p)review with your partner

All improvements begin by reconnecting with the ideal. ~ Michael Hyatt Today we thought we’d do a deep dive on the concept of the Ideal week; what is is, and how to use it to align your week with your values and to make time for what’s most important to you. We cover: How do you create an Ideal Week? What should an Ideal Week be helping me with? How can sharing and aligning an Ideal Week be even more powerful? We'd love to know how crafting an Ideal Week goes for you. . . let us know in the comments below or on Instagram.

After a bit of a rest, we're back! And we're talking about the book Rest. We cover the main topics of the book, plus discuss our overall thoughts and a partner perspective: The Problem of Rest The Science of Rest Stimulating Creativity Sustaining Creativity The Restful Life

“If you can learn how to say no skillfully and wisely, you can create what you want, protect what you value, and change what doesn’t work.” Today on the podcast, we are discussing the book “The Power of a Positive No - How to Say No and Still Get to Yes” by William Ury. This month, we’re all about cutting back, resting, and rejuvenating, and one of the best ways to do that is to not take on more things, more to-do’s more stuff. But how do you do that in a way that doesn’t alienate you from the people around you? That’s where the power of a positive no comes in! Together, we learn about: The Three-A Trap (how most people say no) The framework for creating and delivering a positive no Why respect is essential What this looks like in a relationship We walk through some concrete examples so that you can leave the episode with a clear understanding of how to navigate the framework of a positive no, and feel more confident to say no in a way that protects your values and what you want, all while keeping the relationship intact. Let’s continue the conversation below: which Three-A Trap do you typically lean on when saying No?

It’s time for another HQ Review with Lesley & Zach! We love these episodes where we get to check in with what’s going on in our lives, answer any questions that have come up from listeners, and give you a glimpse into how we look at our progress with personal development. In this HQ review, we’re checking in about finances, work & side hustle stuff, health, planners, & creating a summer rhythm and new Ideal Week for when the kiddos are not in school! If you have any questions you’d like us to answer in the next HQ review, leave them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/halfbetter.us/), and we’ll make sure to answer it next time!

We’re traveling this week, so we hand picked one of our favorite past episodes to revisit — Zach and Lesley have traveled a lot together, both with and without kids, and we’ve compiled a bunch of our best tips for making your trip a little more like a vacation, even if you do have kids.

Today we’re talking with Tosha Schore! A parent coach for conscious parents, Tosha helps you shift your boy's behaviors through connection. Tosha is committed to creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time, by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. She helps you lose it less, and raise respectful, resilient boys inside her online parent community, The Playhouse (https://offerings.toshaschore.com/courses/playhouse/). She is also the creator of Out With Aggression! (https://offerings.toshaschore.com/courses/out-with-aggression) A simple 5-Step Practice to Stop Your Boy's Aggressive Behaviors and Lift Your Parenting Confidence, and author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges (https://hand-in-hand-shop.myshopify.com/products/listen-five-simple-tools-to-meet-your-everyday-parenting-challenges#oid=13_17). Tosha also happens to be mom to three boys of her own and is an advocate for boys and their families worldwide. Tosha is offering a Free Live Training (https://bit.ly/2XDRIDO) -- How to discipline your boy without punishment (https://bit.ly/2XDRIDO) -- that would be a perfect fit for you if you've got a boy between 2-10.

We’re traveling this week, so we hand picked one of our favorite past episodes to revisit — in this one, we discuss growth mindset, one of the cornerstones of personal growth and development. We’ll be back next week with a great interview. Until then, we wish you and your better half the best on your journey of personal development, together.

Today on podcast, we're continuing our discussion of stress, but focusing more internally on things that you can do for yourself in a season of stress.⠀ We dive into 6 strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety. Set up your guardrails Mel Robbins' 30 before 7:30 Go on a social media/news detox The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins Reframe your perception of stress Lean on others

Are you feeling stressed!?? How about your partner?? It is inevitable, that at some point in your relationship, you are going to go through something stressful - for one or both of you. Well, today we’re going to talk about how you can not only make it through that season of high stress, but come out the other end more connected with your partner. We break down 5 ways to support your partner through a period of high stress. Listen in and let us know, what is one way you are going to support your partner when they are feeling stressed?

Last week we said our next episode was going to be about enneagram, but. . . our guest needed to reschedule, so we’re going to pivot (PIVOT!) and instead talk about our favorite productivity and self development resources. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5afed6e1b98a78eda050ba98/1559265513523-2YSYD72QNXO288C9IFUU/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kHQjNvxPzDLVMV_OLPL13FhZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWQUxwkmyExglNqGp0IvTJZamWLI2zvYWH8K3-s_4yszcp2ryTI0HqTOaaUohrI8PIOe75LCI2yvFZV_CA8vCE_UQZcXfnZNocmBLbaNHDAsY/Pivot?format=2500w

It’s time for another HQ Review with Lesley & Zach! We love these episodes where we get to check in with what’s going on in our lives, answer any questions that have come up from listeners, and give you a glimpse into how we look at our progress with personal development. In this HQ review, we’re checking in about finances, work & side hustle stuff, health, planners, & creating a summer rhythm and new Ideal Week for when the kiddos are not in school! If you have any questions you’d like us to answer in the next HQ review, leave them here (or on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/halfbetter.us/)), and we’ll make sure to answer it next time!

So last week we talked about Life Planning together as a couple - but WHAT if your partner isn’t a planner? What if they are a reluctant goal setter? Today we dive into this topic, because we know there are lots of you out there in this boat (heck, we’ve been there, too). We discuss five tactics on how to navigate planning with a partner that is reluctant to, well, plan.

Life planning is like building a house.  When you build a house, you use a blueprint - it has all the instructions on it, such as where rooms, walls, stairs and windows are going, along with the dimensions, etc.  Think of life planning as creating that blueprint for your life “house” you’re going to build. If you’re in a relationship though, there’s another dimension to this! What you ask?  Now it’s not just you building a house, it’s you and your partner.  You’re building a house together. So what does that mean? It means…. you need to use the SAME blueprint!  You don’t want one of you to be building a mansion, while the other one is building a cottage.  Yes, it is possible that together you build one house using separate blueprints, but neither one of you is truly going to be happy with the results. It’ll be this combo house that you neither one of you particularly loves.   So what are you to do?  Well, it means you’ve got to work off of a similar blueprint.  That way you’re building a house that you are both in love with.  That, my friends, is called life-planning with a partner.  It’s deciding together what kind of house you’re going to build.  Together.  So when the house is finished, you can both look at it and say yes - that’s the house I’ve always wanted. Today on the pod, we’re talking about exactly that - writing that blueprint for your life.  We’ll break down the steps to getting it done, and go through some real-life examples for what it looks like, especially when you’re life planning alongside the love of your life. This episode comes with a fun clarity sheet to help get the process rolling, so listen in, download your sheet, and let us know - what life channel are you going to work on first?

Here’s a question for you: What was so appealing about your partner at the beginning of your relationship? Why did you want to spend time with them? And when you were together - what did you do? Today on the podcast, we’re talking about how to incorporate more play into your relationship. How can you get back to doing more of what you loved doing with your partner when you were first together. Everyone plans on keeping that fun, playful part of their relationship intact, but then work, kids, chores, activities, stress, and really, just LIFE takes over. While we may not realize it’s happening, taking time to enjoy life often just gets pushed to the side. But that is what makes life fun - PLAY! And playing together has some serious benefits. As Markman writes in his book 12 hours to a great marriage: A step-by-step guide for making love last, “having fun together is the greatest factor in a sense of friendship, commitment and the greatest influence overall in marital satisfaction”. Who doesn’t want more of that? So listen in, and we’ll give you 4 ways to incorporate more play into your relationship as well as as list some ideas for some of our favorite ways to play together, and as a family. We’d love to know - what’s your favorite way to play with/date your partner? Let us know in the comments below. References: Markman, H.J., Stanley, S.M., Blumberg, S.L., Jenkins, N.H., & Whiteley, C. (2004). 12 hours to a great marriage: A step-by-step guide for making love last. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass

And now for something completely different. . . we ask and answer Tim Ferris’ questions he posed in Tribe of Mentors (https://www.amazon.com/Tribe-Mentors-Short-Advice-World/dp/1328994961/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=tribe+of+mentors&qid=1556209755&s=gateway&sr=8-1). It was really interesting to think through our own answers, plus to listen to each other’s answers. Give it a go yourself: What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life? What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? (Specific brand or model is great) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours? If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love? In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life? What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore? What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise? In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips? When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

Today on the podcast, we’re chatting about quarterly goals again. Q1 just finished, and we’re looking forward to our next set of goals for Q2. We break down precisely how to do a quarterly review with your partner. And you guessed it, as with all our things - work on yourself first. So, we discuss how we each do our own quarterly review. Next we discuss how we share those with each other, but more importantly why we take the extra time to do this. We could stop at doing a quarterly review - because that alone is an amazing step in progress towards reaching goals. So we share the 4 reasons why it’s so important to us that we consistently share what we’re working on with each other. Listen in and let us know - why do you want to share your goals with your partner? How would that help you achieve your goals?

To round out our series on finances, today on the pod, we’re discussing the book Millionaire Success Habits (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401956874/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) by Dean Graziosi. While this really wasn’t a finance book, per se, what it did was present the reader with self-reflective exercises and habits to push you towards the next level of success. The thinking goes, with that new level of success, you’ll be able to up-level your finances, your health, your relationships, etc. The book itself is chock-full of habits, hacks and exercises to try, and while other might resonate with you, we decided to pick out a few of our favorites and discuss them for our listeners. We hope that you enjoy it - and let us know in the comments below after listening, what is the one exercise or habit you are going to take and utilize to up-level your life?

The goal of any marriage is not to think alike, but to think together. - Robert C. Dodds This awesome quote was brought to us by our guest — Nikki Beal. Nikki — the brains behind the inspiring Weird Life of Us — is a family finance and frugal living expert, who is helping others live an abundant life on a frugal budget. In this special interview episode, we discuss: Nikki and her husband’s unique debt-free journey Tips on how to have a successful Budget Meeting Date Night How Nikki and her partner work on individual goals (not just financial) together One of the biggest takeaways that Nikki leaves everyone with is a sense of hope and purpose.

The most important change you can make in your relationship with money is to change your habits surrounding money. Spending money is a habit. Saving money is a habit. Budgeting is a habit. Now a budget for yourself is one thing, but so many other things come into play when there are two people (and an entire family) that can affect the budget. If you are new around here, I want to catch you up on the three things that we do every week that are the keys to our success as a partnership. The first is individual: The weekly Preview/review. The second two are the partner meeting (which includes a budget meeting) and our family meeting (which can sometime encompass money talk as well). Today we're going to focus on the section of our partner meeting that deals with money: The Budget Meeting. Once you have had your money discussion - then it's time to graduate to a budget meeting. This is, essentially, a meeting you have with your partner (hopefully every week or at least once a month), where you look over the budget together. We chat about what we’ve learned over the years in budgeting together (the do’s and don’ts), and what habits we’ve created to help with budgeting and debt repayment. How about you? Do you discuss your budget with your partner? What does that look like?

Do you talk about money with your partner? Do you sit down weekly and discuss your financial status? Do you know how much you spend in different categories? Do you have debt and if so, do you know how much you have? Do you have financial goals together as a couple?⁣ We spent several years not talking about our finances. . . so we are all too familiar with how hard of a first step it is to talk about money with a partner. There is so much shame surrounding money, especially if together you’re not handling it well. Today on the podcast, we give you some easy tips on how to take that first step.⁣ Specifically, we discuss: Your money story and how that translates into behavior Assessing where you are Determining your money goals and dreams What to do if your money goals are competing Your why (individually and together) We've come a long way in our 16 years together, and our communication in regards to money has significantly improved. We’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, and by talking about something a lot of people don’t want to talk about (particularly inside your relationship) - we hope you can avoid the pitfalls and arguments that we had in our relationship!

Those of you in the CrossFit world have heard the acronym AMRAP. It stands for As Many Reps As Possible. So, for example in a workout, you could be given 10 minutes to complete as many reps as possible of 10 air squats, 10 double-unders (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tF3hUsPZAI), and 10 push-ups. You set the clock, go, and see how much you can push yourself to get things done. Today on the podcast, we dive into the AMRAP Mentality by Jason Khalipa by discussing his newly released book, As Many Reps As Possible (https://www.amazon.com/As-Many-Reps-as-Possible-ebook/dp/B07MHSQ8XP/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549565369&sr=8-1&keywords=amrap+mentality+jason+khalipa). Using the framework of an AMRAP, Jason has sought to extract as much as possible from the time he has in each day, and he encourages his readers to do the same. We discuss the AMRAP framework, specifically covering: Discovering and clearly knowing your why Focusing only on what you can control Working Hard Effectively shifting gears After action reviews Join us for the discussion and see how you can apply the AMRAP Mentality in and out of the gym.

We continue our focus on health this month by talking about Exercise. This is a great episode, especially if you set goals for yourself in 2019 to “be more healthy.” We talk about : Why the goal “I want to get in shape” won't get you anywhere Focusing on moving your body, not what you look like How to make exercise attractive  How to find a support group/accountability partner for your fitness goals Breaking down big lofty goals (like running a race) into tiny achievable habits Using the power of the Ideal Week and non-negotiables to stick to you goals Our next book is As Many Reps As Possible by Jason Khalipa (https://www.amazon.com/As-Many-Reps-as-Possible-ebook/dp/B07MHSQ8XP/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549565369&sr=8-1&keywords=amrap+mentality+jason+khalipa).

This month on the podcast, we will be focusing on Health - both physical fitness and nutrition. So we're starting the month off by focusing on nutrition, and since we both just read James Clear's Atomic Habits, we thought diving in and discussing habits for nutrition was the perfect next step. This is a great episode, especially if you set goals for yourself in 2019 to “be more healthy”. We talk about : Clarifying your goal so that it's actionable How to habit stack a new healthy eating goal How to design your environment to set yourself up for success Why you should start with a tiny change Ramping up your Successes Meal Planning Where and how to get support (from your partner or elsewhere) We've been getting some super great questions about the #familyhqcalendar, so we took a few moments to do a little Q&A about our family hub, and also why the Family HQ supports us as a family in our nutrition goals. Our next book is As Many Reps As Possible by Jason Khalipa (https://www.amazon.com/As-Many-Reps-as-Possible-ebook/dp/B07MHSQ8XP/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549565369&sr=8-1&keywords=amrap+mentality+jason+khalipa). P.S. - Download our new freebie, How to Create a Family HQ (https://halfbetter.us/email-list-signup)!  This is a step-by-step guide that will walk you through setting up a Family HQ so that you can get your family all on the same page. 

What defines you? What makes you, you? James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, presents strong evidence to the fact that your habits reveal who, in essence, you are. Your actions show how strongly you want something, and how much something means to you. Over time, these habits become your identity. Habit formation (and getting rid of habits) is more about a process of becoming someone, rather than wanting something. In comparison to Charles Duhig's book, The Power of Habits, this book is approachable and clear. I finished The Power of Habits wanting more - I got to all the science and the why's, but I didn't get the HOW. With Atomic Habits, you finish the book feeling like you have the capability to quit your bad habits and the systems and processes to start those new ones. Today on the podcast, we dive into this fabulous book, exploring the 4 Laws of Habits (how to create them and how to get rid of them). We also discuss: Why tiny habits? Why not big sweeping change? Mastering the art of showing up How to prime your environment for success Motion vs. Action Shifting from a person who wants to a person who is How we incorporate this in our family and partnership To start off 2019 with a bang, and to help you reach the goals you set for yourself this past New Year's, listen in for an actionable episode that will help you create a system for reaching those goals. Want to read the book? You can get it here (https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break-ebook/dp/B07D23CFGR/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1548849247&sr=8-1&keywords=atomic+habits).

When it comes to to-do lists and being productive, one of the biggest things that come to mind is, “I need a planner.” But the question is, what kind of planner? In today’s episode of the podcast, we chat with Megan Seeley about how we can match a planner to our personality so that we can find one that works best for each one of us as an individual. Megan Seeley is the Planning Fairy Godmother over at The Goal Designer, where she coaches clients on how to find the best planner, and more importantly, the processes and rituals to keep using that planner. We talk about how self-care rituals are often forgotten about, but should actually be the first thing scheduled in each week. We tackle the question head-on of how to still be productive, yet not feel like you’re running ragged all the time. Here’s a hint: the only way to be happy and productive is to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself first. Using her Plan to Plan process, Megan walks listeners through the steps for keeping those non-negotiables front and center. Once those are scheduled in, you can worry about obligations to other people, and counter to what you see everywhere else, your to-do list is the very last thing that you put in your planner! We also talk with Megan about personality types and why she started pairing Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies (Obliger, Upholder, Questioner, Rebel) with different planners. We definitely learned several things in this section of the interview about how our tendencies guide our thinking and ability to stick with a certain planner. We round out the interview with a few tips for sticking with your planner in 2019 so that you can achieve those goals that you’ve set for yourself. It was a blast to speak with Megan and we are honored to have had her on our podcast. We definitely recommend that you head on over the thegoaldesigner.com (https://www.thegoaldesigner.com) and take her quiz to see what planner would work best for you. You never know: your inability to stick with your planners might have absolutely nothing to do with you, but everything to do with your planner! Enjoy!

The best advice I know of in this situation is, if you want to change someone else, change yourself. People change because they’re inspired by someone else’s example, not because they were coerced into doing it. People change because they see in someone else what’s Probable, not because someone harasses them over and over about what’s Possible. You will never change someone else unless you find the courage and the will and the resolve to change Yourself. ~Rachel Hollis We’ve all said it at one time or another (either out loud or in our head). “I just wish my partner would change or do XYZ.” I bet you can think of one thing right now that you’d love for your partner to change or do. Here’s the thing: You cannot change anyone else. Period. I know that might sound odd coming from us here at Half Better where we’re all about making small improvements together, but here’s the thing: personal development is just that. Personal. No one else can do it for you. No one else can make you do it. You have to want it. All by yourself. But wait - there’s hope. While you can’t change someone else, you can influence them. We are not counselors or licensed therapists. We are just two people who are really interested in personal development, couples goals setting, and being productive so that we can be present together. We have experience within a partnership where we have both seen the benefits of personal growth and growing together. We have experience with trying to make someone change and that backfiring, and today on the podcast we’re going to talk about all of it! We’ll lay out 4 ways to influence your partner towards growth and to encourage them to be supportive of your own growth. While everyone has the ability to change, it does not mean everyone will choose to change. A person has to want it all on their own to actually do the work required to change. So we’re going to talk today about how to tip the scales in favor of encouraging growth in your partnership. What ways have you found helpful to encourage or support growth in your partner?

Well, we finally finished the book, Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. Procrastination much? Moving past the guilt associated with that, this book was good for an end of the year/beginning of the year read, as it forced both of us to assess our current lifestyle and pair it down to match our goals. To simplify, not only our physical stuff in the form of decluttering but to also take a hard look at the rhythms and schedule we have for our whole family (not just us). Simplicity Parenting is really a goals and dream book. Remember when you first got married and together you dreamed about how life would be when….? Do you even remember what those dreams are? Does your life currently reflect those dreams? Are you heading in the direction of those dreams? The author, Kim John Payne, encourages couples to pull out those dreams again, dust them off, and align the details of your daily life to match those goals. So often, we get caught up in the swift current of doing more and a busy schedule that we forget what it was we wanted for ourselves. And it’s not that you forgot your dreams, you just put them on the back burner for that time when… and when seems increasingly farther and farther away. But as we talked about in Episode 35, you need to distill your dreams down into daily actions, and as we discuss on the podcast today, we talk about actionably doing this with your schedule, routines, and rhythms. This book reminded me that the exact same things that are beneficial for us as adults (such as routines, cutting out distraction so you can have deep work, cutting down on decision fatigue) are also vitally important for children. When you are able to simplify and add rhythms for the whole family, the results you achieve are usually “far more reaching and powerful” than what you thought might occur. Kim John Payne points out that by putting in a little bit of work in these areas, you’ll gain time for connection, increase security and ease in relationships, and for partners, increase your intimacy. And who doesn’t want more of that? Intimacy can’t happen in the hustle and bustle of crazy home life, it happens in those downtime moments, and when you simplify, you can have more and more of those moments. If you’re feeling like life with kids is crazy, that you’re just spinning your wheels, doing the day to day thing without really connecting with your spouse or your children, then this is a really important episode for you. Because after all, the author points out, “it’s not just what you make of your time, it’s whether you have the time to make it your own.” Our challenge for you, dear listeners, this week is to write out an ideal week, individually at first, and then share it with your partner. As we discuss in the podcast, make sure to build some routines or consistency, and also some times for connection. It is in those small moments of connection that life is lived. Our next book will be Atomic Habits by James Clear if you want to read alongside us. Download our new freebie, How to Create a Family HQ! This is a step-by-step guide that will walk you through setting up a Family HQ so that you can get your family all on the same page.

Happy New Year!  Yep - it’s that time of year when everyone is setting goals and resolutions, or making declarations about what they are going to achieve in 2019.  We’re doing the same thing, but with a little twist - goal setting is absolutely something that we do with each other in mind.   Today on the podcast, we chat about our recent get away to the Len Foot Hike Inn for our goal setting session.  We cover lots of things, such as: Why you should consider goal setting with your partner How to make sure you and your partner’s goals aren’t competing How to hold each other accountable without causing shame - because we all know we’ll struggle at some point How to do an after action review of 2018 and use your challenges and regrets as opportunities in 2019 Tips & tricks for making sure that you stick with your goal (even through the messy middle) The tools we use, such as the #fullfocuspanner and our workbook from the #bestyearever conference with @michaelhyatt This one is for you, if you’re looking to get you and your partner on track to living the life you always dreamed of.  We break it down easy for how to take those big dreams and fit them into your weekly schedule.  As we mentioned in the podcast, we want to keep those goals front and center, so if you’re willing to share your goals, snap a picture, or make a background like @zachary_lang and tag us @halfbetter.us so we can cheer you on!  

Today on HalfBetter, we check in on where we are and what we’re up to as the year comes to a close. It’s a pretty candid conversation about how we’re struggling with a lot of things right now as the year comes to a close. As two people who view ourselves as productive and good with systems, we discuss our frustration and thoughts on this time of year and how it can really affect everyone. We dive into some excellent topics such as: yearly themes/words stress, health, and sleep our systems (and the lack thereof) new planners we’ve been checking out going on a hike (and our upcoming annual review) apps we’re currently using We recorded late at night - 10:00pm to be precise, which goes to show you just how off our rhythms and ideal week we are! Yet I wouldn’t change that, because I think it gives a pretty true to life nod to the fact that we’re both struggling with falling off the bandwagon. Sometimes trying to balance it all does not look pretty! We hope you enjoy it!

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy." ~ Fred De Witt Van Amburgh With the holidays in full swing around us, gratitude is really top of mind for everyone. Yet, gratitude should not be a seasonal thing, not something that you think about only when the holidays force you to. As we discuss on the podcast today, there are immense benefits of cultivating gratitude in your life, from more optimism and enthusiasm to physical health and well-being. But what does that look like in real life? Gratitude is totally one of those things that you know you should do, but don’t seem to do. We share several easy and quick ways that we cultivate gratitude for ourselves, but also how we share this with each other and our children (Lesley even gets emotional over one example!). How do you cultivate gratitude into your life? What are some of the ways you practice it yourself, or with your partner or family? We’d love to hear - we’re always looking for new ideas!

Today on the podcast, we talk journaling. If you’re looking at your daily routines and thinking about adding a journaling habit, it can seem really daunting. Today, we break down the why’s and how’s of creating a journaling habit, and we also discuss the benefits that we’ve seen with the introduction of a journaling habit into our lives. 

This month on the podcast, we’re discussing creativity starting with the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Do you have room for creativity in your life? Do you allow space for things that make you smile and bring you joy? That brings you beyond the mundane of your life and the roles you encompass into something more?

Today on the podcast, we round out our discussion of Carol Dweck’s book Mindset by discussing how mindset plays a role at work.

This week on the podcast, we continue our deep dive discussion of the book Mindset by Carol Dweck with a focus on parenting. We delve into what growth mindset looks like in parenting, what it doesn’t look like, and how to pass on a growth mindset.  Growth mindset parenting is a little more than “praise the process, not the outcome”. It also isn’t enthusiastically and blindly saying “you can do anything you can put your mind to!” Rather, it looks more like helping your children to find the resources to make progress towards their goals, such as hard work, trying new strategies, and seeking input from others. 

What are some things that you can do to get yourself over the negative talk hump? We discuss about viewing health and fitness as a continual work in progress and viewing set-backs as motivating, and not the end all be all.

In relationships, there is a whole other layer to the mindset puzzle. There is a me, a you, and a relationship. And ALL THREE can have their own mindset! What a wonderful opportunity for growth, especially if you can view that all three of those pieces in the puzzle have the opportunity to grow and change.

Today on the podcast, we discuss the book Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, where she explores the two mindsets and how each one affects the way you live and perceive your life. While possessing many layers, the fixed mindset is essentially when you believe that your qualities are carved in stone Whether you are naturally good at something or not, you will not work at improving yourself. In contrast to this is the growth mindset, which Carol says is “based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way - in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests or temperaments - everyone can change and grown through application and experience…. the passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of a growth mindset”.

Last weekend, Lesley and Zachary spent some time in Nashville at the Full Focus Planner Achieve Conference. We had such a great time and walked away feeling energized and ready to tackle our goals. On today’s podcast, we talk about some of the great ideas and inspiration that we got from attending the conference together.

As we head into the school year, we wanted to do a deep dive into our school rituals. For our family, and perhaps for many of you out there, we find that transitioning between seasons can be tough. The changing of rhythms and responsibilities can be intense. I started back at work, and we transitioned from a hybrid home-school family to sending our oldest full time to school. Things were going to change, and had to change, in terms of how the day to day running of the house looked for our family. After a very stressful, and frankly exhausting, first week back at school and work, we were forced to re-evaluate our current rhythms. Ultimately, we wanted to find a way to manage to do all the things that needed to get done, and still have time for connection.

This week on the podcast we discuss the book How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine A. Price. While the title of the book may feel daunting, the book is more of a guide to evaluate the use of phone and media technology in your life.

As Donald Shon says, “Reflective practice is a dialogue of thinking and doing through which I become more skillful.” What Zach and I have learned over the past few years, is that taking the time to continuously reflect on where you are and what you’ve already done goes really far in taking you where you want to go. With that in mind, we look back at our first full year with the podcast HalfBetter to look at what we accomplished, what we struggled with and what we’re going to do next.

Zach and Lesley have traveled a lot together, both with and without kids, and we’ve compiled a bunch of our best tips for making your trip a little more like a vacation, even if you do have kids.

We had a great conversation about Michael Hyatt’s Free to Focus course — “a total productivity system designed specifically for executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders, created to help you slay distractions, free your time from interruptions, and finally focus on the projects and people that matter most.” Tune in to find out how we use what we learned from the course in our partnership.

This week: a conversation about our experience with the Whole Life Challenge. This was the first time that Zachary and Lesley participated in the challenge together; we discussed our experience as individuals, and of course, doing it together as a partnership.

Lesley and Zachary have a conversation about the book Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be. We each covered a few of our favorite takeaways from the book and then discussed how you can use the information in this book in your partnership. We want you to walk away with actionable tools to incorporate what we’ve learned in this book to help you and your better half live more intentionally.