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You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Tosha Schore as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Aggression”. We discuss why kids get aggressive, how to handle it no matter how many kids you have, and dealing with the aggressive behaviour from many angles.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:35 Is a child's aggression OUR fault as the parent?* 13:00 Why are some kids aggressive?* 15:00 How do you handle aggression when you have multiple kids?* 22:00 A new sibling being born is often a trigger for aggression in the older child* 29:00 When you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around your child* 35:00 How naming feelings can be a trigger for kids* 37:00 When aggression is name calling between siblings* 42:00 Friends- roughhousing play or aggression?* 49:00 Coming from aggression at all angles* 50:35 Using limits when there are safety issuesResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Tosha's Websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! 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No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript: Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Tosha Shore, a peaceful parenting expert on aggression. I invited her into the Peaceful Parenting Membership a few months ago to talk to us about aggression and to answer our members' aggression-specific questions.So many fantastic questions were asked. I know they'll help you if you're at all having any issues with aggression. And remember, aggression isn't just hitting. It's any expression of the fight, flight, or freeze response—including yelling, spitting, throwing things, and swearing.Tosha is such a valuable resource on this issue. I really, really admire how she speaks about aggression and the compassion that she brings to both kids and parents who are experiencing aggression.One note: one of the members was okay with her question being used in the podcast, but she didn't want her voice used. So in the podcast today, I paraphrased her question and follow-up comments to preserve the flow of the conversation.As I mentioned, this is a sneak peek inside the Peaceful Parenting Membership. If you would like to join us, we would love to have you. It is such a wonderful space filled with human touch and support. There are so many benefits, and it's my favorite part of my work as a parenting coach.We'll put the link to join us in the show notes, or you can visit reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership. If you know anyone who could use this podcast, please share it with them. And as always, we would appreciate your five-star ratings and reviews on your favorite podcast app.Let's meet Tosha.Hello, Tosha, welcome to the membership. I'm so excited that you're going to be here talking to us about aggression today. So maybe you could start out by just giving a brief introduction of who you are and what you do.Tosha: Absolutely. So my name is Tosha Shore and I am the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where we are on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.I'm also the co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. And I work with a lot of families with young kids who are struggling with hard behaviors like aggression, and my goal is to give you all hope and inspiration—to keep on keeping on with peaceful parenting practices because they do absolutely work. Even, or maybe even especially, for really hard behaviors.Sarah: I love that you added that—especially for hard behaviors—because I think there's this fallacy out there that, yeah, peaceful parenting's nice if you have easy kids, but, you know, my kid needs more “discipline” or whatever. So I love that you called that out, 'cause I think it's absolutely true also.So maybe—just—we have some questions from our members that people sent in, and I'm not sure, some people on the call might have questions as well. But maybe we could just get started by you sort of centering us in what causes aggression.I was just on a call with some clients whose child was having some issues at school, which, if we have time, I might ask you about. The mom was saying, “Oh, you know, he's being aggressive at school because I sometimes shout or lose my temper.” And I said to her, you know, of course that plays a part in it, but there are lots of kids whose parents never shout or lose their temper who still are aggressive.So why is that? What causes aggression?Tosha: I mean, I think there are a few things that can cause aggression. I often will say that aggression is fear in disguise, because I've found that a lot of kids who are getting in trouble at school—they're yelling, they may be hurting siblings or hurting their parents—they are scared inside.Sometimes it's an obvious fear to us. Like maybe they're playing with a peer and the peer does something that feels threatening—goes like that in their face or something—and instead of just, you know, play-fighting back, they clock the kid or whatever.And sometimes the fears are a little bit more hidden and maybe could fall even into the category of lagging skills. I don't even like to say “lagging skills,” but, like, skills that maybe they haven't developed yet. School's a perfect example. I think a lot of kids often will be acting out in school—even aggressively—because they're being asked to do something that they don't yet have the skills to do.And that's pretty frustrating, right? It's frustrating to be asked, and then demanded, to perform in a certain way or accomplish something specific when you don't either feel the confidence to do it, or you don't yet have the skills. Which sort of spills into another reason that kids can get aggressive, and that's shame.We can feel really ashamed if everybody else in the class, for example, or a lot of kids, are able to just answer the questions straight out when the teacher asks—and maybe we get stage fright, or maybe we didn't quite understand the example, or whatever it is.So I definitely want to pull that parent away from blaming themselves. I think we always tend—we have a negative bias, right? Our brain has a negative bias. All of us. And I think we tend to go towards taking it on ourselves: It's our fault. If we had just done X, Y, or Z, or if we hadn't done X, Y, or Z, my child wouldn't be acting out this way.But I always say to parents, well, that's a choice. There's like a 50/50, right? We could choose to say, you know what, it could be that I did something, but I don't think so. That's the other 50%. But we always go with the “it's my fault” 50.So part of my job, I think, is to encourage parents to lean into the “It's not my fault.” Not in the sense of nothing I do has an impression on my child, but in the sense of: it's important that we as parents all acknowledge—and I truly believe this—that we are doing our best all the time.There is no parent I've ever met who purposefully doesn't behave in a way they feel good about, or purposefully holds back their love, or purposefully yells, or anything like that. If we could do differently, we absolutely would as parents.Sarah: Mm-hmm. So more like, “I didn't cause this. There's maybe something I could do, but I didn't cause this.” Right.Tosha: I mean, like, look, let's just be honest. Maybe she did cause it, okay? I mean, I've done things—maybe I've caused things—but so what, right? There's nothing I can do at this point.I can either sort of wallow in, “Oh gosh, did I cause this?” Or I could say, probably I didn't, because there are so many other factors. Or I could say, you know, maybe I did, but one, I'm confident that I did the best that I could in that moment.And two—and this is an important part—is that I am doing whatever work I need. I'm getting the support I need, right? I'm showing up to Sarah's membership or this call or whatever, to take steps to do better in the future.So if we're just making a mistake and not doing anything to try to behave better next time, that's not worth much either. Like, I remember once when my kids were little—I don't even remember what I was doing, I don't remember what the situation was—but I do remember very clearly that I apologized. I said, “I'm sorry, I won't do that again.”And my kid goes, “You always say that and then you do it again.”And that was true. But if that were true because I was just saying “I'm sorry” and going about my next thing and not paying attention to the why or getting to the crux of what was causing me to behave that way, then that would be disingenuous.But in fact, I was doing my own emotional work to be able to show up more often in ways that I felt good about. So I could genuinely feel good about that apology, and I could not take it personally. I could say, “You know what, you're absolutely right. I do keep making this mistake. And I want you to know that I am working hard to try to change that behavior.” And that was true.Sarah: Yeah. Makes sense. So you mentioned before that you want parents to see aggression as fear in disguise. And you mentioned that the fear can be something obvious, like someone's gotten in your face and you're scared. Or it can be fear of not being able to meet the expectations of your teacher or your parent. Or shame that can come from maybe even having made a mistake.You didn't say this, but I'm thinking of something common that often happens—like a kid makes a mistake or does something they didn't mean to do, and then they lash out. Right?So how do we get from those feelings of fear and shame to aggression? Because that doesn't happen for every kid, right? Some kids will just cry or say something, but then some kids really lash out and hit, throw things, shout, scream. So how does that happen? How do we get from A to B?Tosha: Well, I think all kids are different, just like all adults are different. And when we encounter fear—any of us—we go into fight, flight, or freeze. And kids who are aggressive go into fight.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So some kids do and some kids don't. And you know, I don't have any scientific research to back this up, but I would say part of this is DNA, part of this is the nature of the kid.Sarah: Right.Tosha: And I think that's also going back to the self-blame. I've got three kids, they're all very different, right? Same house, same parents, same everything. They're different. They came into this world different, and they're still different.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: And I can help guide them, but I can't change the core of who they are. So I think that aggression is those kids who go from “I'm scared, I'm having to protect myself” to that attack mode.Sarah: Right. Makes sense. And just—I mean, I know this—but is it in the child's control?Tosha: No, it's not in the child's control. It is absolutely a reaction. And I think that's why I feel like having that concept of aggression being fear in disguise can be so helpful from a mindset perspective for parents. Because it's so much easier to have empathy for a child who we see as being scared, right? Than one who we see as being a jerk, picking on his brother, or disrespectful, rude—all of those terms we use when we're struggling.Sarah: Right. Well, there may be a few other points that I want you to make, but they might come out in the context of some questions from our members.So I know at least two people on the call right now had sent me a question in case they couldn't make it. But I'm going to ask Sonya—are you willing, Sonya, to unmute yourself and ask your question?Sarah: Hi.Sonia: Sure. Hi.Sarah: Hi, Sonya.(Sarah narrating): Sonia wonders how to handle aggression when you have multiple kids. She has three kids—a 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a baby—and it's often her 7-year-old who reacts in fight mode. She's trying to figure out how to keep her cool and also how to handle it and take care of the other kids and manage him.Tosha: Yeah. So one thing that I noticed is how Sonia kind of glossed over the keeping her own cool. And I want to bring that to everybody's attention, because we all do that. But actually, when we're dealing with aggression, we have to come at it from a lot of different angles.There's no one magic pill I can give her, but it has to actually start—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So it doesn't mean we have to reach Nirvana or become the Buddha or never yell before we can make any progress. But we can't put that aside and just go, “Okay, what do I do to get my kid to stop doing this?”Because our energy has a huge effect on our kids' aggression. And usually—well, let me just say—it makes sense to ask yourself questions like: how am I feeling about this? Because most people are feeling scared—either scared of their child (“they're going to hurt me” or “they're going to hurt a sibling, hurt the baby”), or scared for their child (“he's going to end up in juvenile hall, he's going to end up the next school shooter”).We project forward. So if we're having fear for our child or fear of our child, that child is soaking up that feeling. And I don't know about you, but I've never met anybody who could actually change their behaviors—who was inspired, motivated, or able to change their behaviors—when everyone around them was scared of them or scared for them.Maybe occasionally there's somebody who's like, “I'm going to prove the point because the world is against me,” right? And this is like a Hollywood film. But most of us don't work that way.So I want to come at it from all the angles. There's the “take care of yourself” piece. But at the same time, we have to keep our kids safe.One thing that I think really helps is to pay attention to the pattern of when the aggression is happening, so she's not surprised. Because if we're surprised, then we act in surprising ways to ourselves. We don't show up as our best.So pay attention. Does this happen at a certain time of day? When there's a certain constellation of kids playing together? When one particular child is present? When you're doing something specific? If there's another parent—when they're present or absent? Pay attention to these things so that you can show up ready.Because if you can change your story in your head from, “I have no idea when this happens, it happens all the time, it happens out of the blue”—which is really disempowering—to “I've noticed that every afternoon when I pick my 7-year-old up from school and bring him home, then I go in the kitchen to make a snack… and then he lays on top of the baby,” or whatever—then it is much more manageable.Then you can say, “Okay, well, I remember this call that I was on and they talked about maybe there being some fear in there. Well, I don't know what the fear is, I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to be ready. I'm not going to let it happen.”So rather than make that snack, I'm going to make it before he comes home, or I'm going to just pull out some frozen pizza. But I'm going to stay present with that child during that time and expect that the upset will happen.Because then, when that child goes to lay on the baby—or whatever the aggression is—you can actually physically get in the way. You can prevent it from happening. And then what happens is, because that child—the 7-year-old—has something to push against, something preventing them from acting on their fear response, from fighting—what happens then is like a magic reaction.He's able to erupt like a volcano and release the tension, those fears, the upsets. Maybe it's 12 things that happened to him at school today. Maybe there was shame around not knowing the answer when he was called on. Whatever it was.But there's suddenly space with an attentive adult who remembers that the child is scared. So they have empathy. They're not worried, they're not caught by surprise. So we're not going to jump at them. And that child has the opportunity then to heal.That release of the feeling is what heals the child. It's like pulling up weeds in your garden by the roots, as opposed to just pulling and having them break off, and then the next day you've got the whole thing back again.So this tool—which in our book we talk about as Stay Listening, where we're staying and allowing space for the child to feel—is what, over time, will change that fight response. That's actually the gold nugget that, over time, will both change the intensity of the outbursts and also change the frequency.Is any of that landing for you?Sarah (narrating): Sonia responded that it was very helpful. She's told me before that her baby's almost one, and this started happening a lot right after she had the baby. She also says that she's done my Transform Your Family Life course, and she's still working on it. She's done more of the welcoming feelings, and she has put together that it's usually in the afternoons—so Tosha is right about that—and it's happening after school.She's also connected that there are things happening at school that aren't in line with how she and her husband want their child treated, and she thinks that's related.Tosha: Yeah. So in light of this new information, I would also say—and I'm sure Sarah's talked to you about this as well—but pouring in as much connection to that child as possible.And it can feel, especially when you have multiple kids, that it's unfair, right? One kid is getting more… Are you familiar with the concept of special times, Sarah? Is that something that you teach?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Okay. You know, if you're doing special time—oftentimes we talk about, or I talk about at least—I'm not a “fair” kind of a person. I'm a “life's not fair” kind of a person. My kids will tell you that.But when it comes to special time, I always encourage parents to think about a week and to try to give your kids about the same amount of special time over a week. But—and here's the caveat—when we have a kid who is struggling, they are demanding more of us. They are demanding more attention. And our time didn't increase.Tosha: So that means we are going to need to devote more time. It's going to be uneven. But that child—and especially, like, this is probably the number one reason that I hear for aggression to start, and we didn't talk about this at the beginning—is when a younger sibling is born. I mean, it is so often the trigger, I can't tell you.And if I could go back to all of those parents and say, “Don't worry about being fair. Just pour as much extra love and connection and yumminess into that child who's struggling as you can. It will pay off later. You can make it up to the other kids later.” In fact, you're giving them a gift by helping their older brother, because then his behavior isn't going to have that negative effect on them.So I think that we get stuck in the fairness sometimes. I'm not saying you do this, Sonya—this is just from my experience. And then we hold back from giving that child what they need. So special time isn't the only thing. I would say: make a list of things that you do with that 7-year-old that creates laughter between you, that you both feel really good—where you have that yumminess, like, oh, you're loving on him and he's loving on you. Maybe that's shooting hoops in the front yard, or maybe it's drawing a picture together, or jumping on the trampoline, or reading a book. I mean, it could be anything at all.You can do those things, and you can do them with the other three kids around. Also, keep doing all of that stuff. And you're going to have to, I think, carve out some time for one-on-one special time—named, timed—where he gets to lead and he gets to be the boss.Sarah: That's awesome. And we always talk about equity versus equality with the sibling relationships, and I think that's—Tosha: Oh yeah. I love that.Sarah: Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. Priya, do you want me to ask your question, or do you want to ask the question since you're on the call? Maybe she's stepped away or can't unmute herself. Uh, she wants me to ask. Okay. So I'm going to find Priya's question and ask it.Uh, Priya says: “My five-year-old gets angry at anything and everything. He has zero tolerance for any kind of dislike or disagreement. We acknowledge his feelings with empathy, doing our best to stay calm and give him time to process his emotions. The only limit we consistently set is holding him from hurting people or property while he yells, screams, says hurtful things, and tries with full rage to attack us.“We're consciously making time for roughhousing, special time, connection, laughter, and tears—though he rarely cries—and we talk about asking for help before things escalate. I've been trying to track patterns by logging some incidents, but sometimes it feels completely unpredictable. We often have no idea why he's screaming. If I push a chair slightly, he gets angry. If someone else presses the elevator button, he gets upset. If he has a plan in his mind and we don't pick up on it, he becomes extremely frustrated. He gets irritated and grumpy very easily. It's gotten to the point where we feel like we have to expect an outburst at any moment. It looks like it's becoming a habit for him, and I feel like I'm starting to walk on eggshells—always watchful for what might happen when I say or do something.”Tosha: Yeah, so this is a really—believe it or not—common situation. Did she say he was five? Is that five?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I cannot tell you the number of parents who come to me and this is what they say: “I'm walking on eggshells.” Right? If we get to the point where we're walking on eggshells, generally what that says to me is that we are not either setting enough limits or we're not setting limits effectively.And one thing that I would suggest to Priya is to take a minute to think about whether or not there are places where she's feeling resentment. That's always a good sign for me—like, if I'm feeling resentment about something, then that's probably a place I need to hold a limit. If I'm not, then there's more wiggle room.So when this is happening all the time about everything, I would say: get really clear on what limits are important to you and what limits are not. Right? So if you're in public, in the elevator, and you don't want to deal with a big meltdown about the elevator button, can you plan for that? If you know that that's an issue, when you go in, you can say to people, “Hey, my son would really like to press the buttons—what floor would you like?”Sarah: Mm-hmm. Right.Tosha: “Here's our elevator operator—exactly. What floor, please?” Or, if somebody presses the button—or if she's pressing the button—to just go in knowing, “I'm not going to press the button. I'm going to let my child do this.” And if somebody else has already pressed it, you can say, “You know what? Hey, let's take the next elevator and then we'll press it. You can press it.”So there are places where we can be flexible. But we don't want to do that all the time, because essentially what this child is showing me is that he has a real intense lack of flexibility. And ultimately, the goal that I would have for him would be—slowly, slowly and lovingly—to help him increase that flexibility. So that, yeah, maybe he's not going to say, “Oh, shoot, I'm feeling really disappointed because I didn't get to press the elevator button and I really like to do that.” But maybe instead of having a huge tantrum, he just gets a sourpuss face and crosses his arms. Okay, I'll take that. That's better. We're moving in the right direction.So it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right, but I would hone in on limit-setting. Really: are you taking the time to think about what kind of limits you want to set? Are you letting go of limits when you know that you don't have the wherewithal to stay calm in the face of the upset?So, oftentimes—I'm hearing Priya say she does a lot of Stay Listening—I would be curious to know: what does that Stay Listening look like? Because I was working with a dad this week, a client of mine, and we were talking about a situation that was going on with his kid, who was coming home really frustrated with homework. And what ended up coming out of his mouth was, “I thought I was Stay Listening, but I think I actually wasn't Stay Listening.”Right—because Stay Listening isn't about trying to calm the child, or trying to get them to stop what they're doing. It can't be with the goal of, “Let me get this kid to quiet down,” kind of a thing. Stay Listening is really holding space lovingly for whatever needs to come out, which means—yeah—all the words, all—like, we don't take them personally.Sarah: Can I just interject something? For my community, what they would recognize Stay Listening as is “welcoming feelings.” Mm-hmm. Just because that'll be a familiar phrase to them. So I just wanna—Tosha: Yeah, absolutely. Right. But “welcoming feelings”—I feel like we need to also talk about: what does that look like? Mm-hmm. What does that look like when we welcome feelings? Because, you know, you could be upset and I could just be like—Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: —like waiting for you to be done. Right? I could be like, “Okay, I'm not gonna shut you down, but, you know, hey, whatever you do, what you need to do, I'm gonna go answer my email.” That's—you know—I can “welcome” the feelings like that. But again, coming back to our energy: what energy are we bringing to that? Are we really staying present with the energy of “We are gonna get through this,” with the energy of “You are safe,” with the energy of “I'm here with you.”Mm-hmm. Right? Like, can that child sense that they're not alone—that you're on their team? And that's maybe a good litmus test. If you were to ask yourself: do you feel like your child would feel like you're on their team, or that you're butting heads? Mm-hmm. And if the answer is “butting heads,” then the question is: what can you shift so that your child will feel like, “Hey, we're in this together”?Sarah: Sounds good. Priya, I don't know if you have anything to add. It sounds like maybe she can't unmute herself, but—oh, she says he screams really loud, so we usually stay quiet and don't say anything because it's really loud. We wait for the moment to pass before we can say anything, at the same time being present. So she's saying they're trying to be present, sometimes trying to say, “I see you're really upset.”Tosha: Yeah. And so when she says—I'm sorry, it's a little bit via you here—but before, when you say, “Priya, before I say something,” what is it that you're saying? Because another thing about Stay Listening—or welcoming feelings, from my perspective—is that saying something actually doesn't really have a place. So if we need to say something, it should—I think—uh, or let me just rephrase that: I find it most effective when it's something that essentially allows that child to feel safe, to realize that they're not alone.Right—to realize that we're on their team, and to realize that it's not gonna last forever. So that they're loved—these types of things. So I wouldn't—if you're naming feelings, and I don't know that she is or isn't, but if you're naming feelings—which is something that a lot of professionals, for example, will recommend—I would play around with stopping that and seeing if that makes a difference, because sometimes that's a huge trigger for kids. And maybe even, “I see you're upset,” or whatever it is that she said—that also might be a trigger.Yeah. Don't be afraid to really not say anything at all, and just think about each of these things as an experiment. Take a day and don't say anything at all and see if it makes a difference. Other things to try—'cause it sounds like he's quite sensitive—is distance, right? How close are you to that child? Some kids don't want you all up in their face. Some kids want to be on your lap and hugged. Some kids want to be a room's distance away. So play with distance; play with tone.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. Does anybody else who's on the call have a question? And if not, I have questions that were sent in, but I want to give priority to people who are here. Uh, and—and Priya says, “Thank you, Tosha.”Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. I'm trying to work without the direct back and forth.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: No—so I hope that was helpful.Sarah: Yeah, that was great, Lindsay.Tosha: And I want to acknowledge that it is really hard. It is hard.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It's one of the most—Tosha: It won't last forever either. Like, it's absolutely—move through. I can assure you of that.Sarah: Lindsay, do you have a question?Member B: Yes. I have a question about my son, actually. He's 10 years old, and I have a 10-year-old boy and then a 7-year-old girl. And a lot of times—there's kind of two different questions—but between the siblings, a lot of times my daughter will be, like, have verbal aggression towards him, and then he—he is my—he is a little more sensitive, and he will hold it in, and he won't spit out things back at her, but then he eventually will just hit her. And, like, he comes with the physical aggression. So kind of, as the parent, proactively trying to step in there—like, how do I handle both of those when one is verbal—maybe aggression—and one is physical? I know it can escalate there. Where do I step in?Tosha: Yeah. First of all, I just want to appreciate that you can see that there's a dynamic there. Because oftentimes we get into this place as parents where we're like, “This person is the aggressor and this person is the victim.” Because oftentimes there is a pattern like that, but it's—it's beautiful that you can see this dance that they're doing.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And so if you see it kind of as a dance, you can interplay around and experiment with interrupting it in different ways. Okay. I would say that, in terms of the verbal aggression, what I have found works best—and again, I was talking to a client yesterday and he was saying to me that this is what works. Mm-hmm. I'm like, “Okay, so let's do more of that. You came out of your mouth; you said it works when you do it—let's do more.” And that is being playful in the face of the verbal aggression.And so it can look like a lot of different things. You could say ahead of time to your daughter something like, “Hey, I've noticed that, you know, sometimes these nasty words come out of your mouth towards your brother, and I know you don't mean them. So I'm gonna—I'm gonna pay attention and just try to help you with that, 'cause I know you don't want to hurt his feelings.”Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And just, you know, outside the moment, just kind of toss that out there. And then in the heat of the moment—I mean, you can just get as goofy as you can think. You could get a paper bag and just pull it over her head, right? Or you could get those indoor snowballs and just start pelting her with snowballs. You could do what we call the “vigorous snuggle,” which we write about in the book, which is something like, “Do you know what happens to little girls who call their brothers, you know, ‘stupid buttheads'” or whatever it is—Sarah: Uh-huh.Tosha: —and then you—rather than push away, which is what we tend to want to do—you do something goofy, right? “They get their elbows licked!” And then you're, like, chasing after her elbow and trying to lick it. What you're going for is laughter. You're trying to elicit laughter, because she's stuck in a hard spot where she can't feel compassion for him and she can't feel your love or anybody's. And so laughter will loosen that up.So I would say: interrupt the verbal aggression with play.Member B: Okay.Tosha: Some of those things will maybe annoy her; some of them will lead to laughter. And then sometimes you'll do an experiment and it'll annoy her—mm-hmm—and she'll explode. And what I want to say about that is—that's okay. Because, like we talked about with the school incident, it's an opportunity for her to do that healing and release the tensions and the hurts and the upsets and the gripes and all the stuff that she's holding in there. So when that happens, if you can welcome those feelings and not try to shut them down or judge her—or what many of us, sort of in the peaceful parenting world, will do is just talk, talk, talk, talk to her about it—if you can let all of that go—Member B: Yeah.Tosha: —you'll see the behaviors lessen. Okay? You know, that would be—I mean, we talked a little bit about the physical stuff before, so I thought for this question I would focus more on the verbal.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: But in the sibling dynamic, just kind of rotate who you go to, so they don't feel like there's one “bad guy” and one “woe-is-me” sibling.Member B: Yeah. Right.Tosha: Because ultimately, our goal as parents is to nurture that sibling relationship. Right. I don't—I don't know—like, I just had a birthday. I'm like, “This is my best birthday ever.” And people are like, “Really? How is it your best birthday ever?” I'm like, because, like, a lot of people couldn't come to my party but all three of my boys were home, and we sang karaoke, and the three of them sang me a song and sang all this. It was like—there is nothing I think we want more than to see our kids loving each other, enjoying each other—mm-hmm—having a strong relationship down the road.And let me tell you, these kids were at each other. I mean, now they're 18, 20, and 22. But I have been in your shoes where my mom would call me and be like, “I'm afraid they're gonna kill each other. I'm worried.” I'd be like, “It's okay. I got this, Mom. You know, things will change.” Yeah. But we do want to experiment—interrupt the behaviors.Member B: Yeah, I appreciate the trying different interventions and then also being prepared for her to, like, not enjoy some of them as well. 'Cause I think that happens a lot more than, like, the positive, you know, playful things. Right. So I appreciate that space to, like, let that happen too—and that's okay.Tosha: Yeah. It's—even more than okay. Like, that's kind of what needs to happen—mm-hmm—in order for her to shift—yeah—in order for her to be able to show up differently. She's stuck. Just think of her as being stuck.Member B: Yeah. And maybe it's not gonna fix that moment, but later on it'll be less and less, right?Tosha: Yeah. And it happens much more quickly than we think, oftentimes.Member B: Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. The other quick question—do I have time, Sarah, to ask the second—Sarah: Sure.Member B: Okay. The second one is more—it's my 10-year-old. So recently, like, he was at a playdate. He's getting to play with a lot more of his friends. They're all playing football and sports and things, and he's just a bigger kid—my husband's 6'5”, so he's just naturally bigger than a lot of the kids. And he is super playful, but he gets, like, playful aggression. And, like, one of the moms was saying, like, “Oh my—” I've seen the dynamic of how all the boys are playing, and I noticed Calvin sometimes gets a little too aggressive. And her son Luke is pretty small. And Luke is like, “Yeah, I get trampled sometimes.” And so the mom was like, “I just try and tell Calvin, like, how big he is and, you know, his awareness.” But I know it happens with his sister, and I think it probably happens at school sometimes too—that he doesn't realize his size, and that maybe it comes out to be as, like—I don't know if he has internal aggression or if it's just playful and he's not aware of how big he is.Tosha: Yeah, I mean, I'd say two things about this. One is: I always have to ask the question in these situations—Is it the kids who are having the problem, or is it the parents who are having a problem?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And I don't know the answer in this situation, but oftentimes our kids play a lot rougher than we feel comfortable with—but they're all actually having a good time. Yeah. I mean, the way that you said that kid reported didn't sound like it was a problem. I could be wrong and it could be a problem, but I think it's worth asking: whether or not it's a problem—Is that mom worried, or is the kid not having fun?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: So just to keep that in mind. Because there's often a par between what we are feeling comfortable with and the way our kids are going at each other. Right. And I think in that situation, we do want to stay close if we're not sure. And just ask—like, if you notice that energy going up—just say, “Hey, are you all having fun?” If everyone says yes—okay. If one person says no, then we know we need to intervene. Okay. So that's one piece.And then I think it's about body awareness for him. Mm-hmm. And maybe one thing that you could do at home would be some practice—sort of—physical wrestling matches or something of the sort, where you could just pretend like you're in a ring—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: —with a timer, and do, like, 15-second, 30-second sessions—or whatever you call it. I'm not a boxing person or whatever, but I don't—Sarah: Rounds.Tosha: Rounds. Maybe it's rounds, right? Yeah. So where somebody's actually the ref and saying, “Okay, go at it,” and then when the whistle blows—when the ref blows the whistle—everyone has to run back to their corners. And so we're increasing the awareness of stop-start, stop-start.And then also I think it's oftentimes a good idea to have kind of a—what do you call it—an emergency word, secret word, whatever it's called—Sarah: Oh yeah.Tosha: —the word—Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: What's the word? Safe word. Safe word.Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: Yeah. Safe word. And so you all could figure that out at the beginning of this game. And, in fact, that's something that he could transfer over to his play with his friends. Like, “Yeah, once he learns—he's like, ‘I know I'm big; I'm just having a good time. I know I don't want to hurt you, but if things are getting too rough, say banana and I'll know I gotta pull back.'”Yeah. But “banana” is going to work a lot better than, “Hey, stop doing that,” or a parent coming in and saying, “Hey, be careful, you need to be careful, you're a lot bigger than him, you need to pull back.” That's not going to work as well. But you have to practice those things at home. So—come at it from two different angles.Member B: Yeah. I like how that is—he and his sister have a thing where if they're being too much, they yell “T.” Yeah. Okay. And so if they're like “T, T,” then they know like, oh, that's a timeout—like, I need to pause for a second.Sarah: Perfect.Member B: So yeah, maybe just—yeah—telling him, like, set it up with your friends so they can say it.Tosha: Yeah. If he already has that skill with his sister, that's amazing. Mm-hmm. And then, yeah—could we just transfer it over to a friend?Member B: Yeah, and I agree—it could be a little more parent than kid, because the kid's inviting Calvin over all the time and wants him to come back. So I'm like, I think they're having fun. You know, and it just may be the parent's perception of—or protection of—her child.Tosha: Right. And I think it's—I think it's fair to just ask.Member B: Mm-hmm.Tosha: You know, ask the child. I mean, you can ask the child if the child's at your house. Yeah. You can just say, like, “Hey, you know, if you guys need me, I'm in the other room,” or whatever. Like, you don't have to— I just—I don't like to assume that there's a problem.Member B: Mm-hmm. Yeah, because he's—he—it's very sweet. I just think he—he just plays rough sometimes and—Tosha: Yeah. Well, some kids like to play rough. And the other thing is, if we interrupt too much, we're interrupting the development of important emotional intelligence. Because one of the ways that kids learn—or build—emotional intelligence is through playing with one another. Right? If they play too rough, they're going to lose their playmate. Right. If they don't play rough enough, they're also going to lose their playmate. Right. This kid might like to play rough. I mean, this little kid might like to play rough—mm-hmm—because he doesn't have that opportunity with other kids. And, like, it's an opportunity to sort of be bigger and use strength and feel—I mean, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: But there's something about the dance that they do when they play. I remember reading research about this in the animal kingdom. It was like a—it was a—I forget what his name was. This was like a million years ago at a conference when I was—back when I was a linguist—who was talking about this. And it was super, super interesting. I thought, “Wow, okay.” And so I think we need to let our kids also do that dance and just be present—so if there is a problem, we can step in—let them know that we're there. But don't assume there's a problem when nobody's complaining.Member B: Right. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, Lindsay. That's helpful.Sarah: So I'm conscious that we only have about, uh, eight minutes left with you. And I don't think anyone else on the call has a question, so I will go to a question that was sent in. And actually two questions that were sent in, and I'm not sure how different they are, so I'm going to tell you both of them.Okay. And if you can answer them both together, or if you think they're separate—if that works. Okay. So one of them is a person, a member who has a child—a girl—who is just about to turn eight. And when she gets upset, she hits and throws things at her mom. And they haven't been able to—and she's been following peaceful parenting—but still hasn't been able to curb this. She doesn't have any issues anywhere else, except for—Tosha: Okay.Sarah: —her mom. The second person has a 12-year-old daughter that is hitting, kicking, pinching, saying mean words, etc., to her younger siblings when they're not doing what she wants them to do. She's the oldest of five; has younger siblings who are 10, 8, 4, and 2. And she didn't mention this, but I know she also—when she gets upset—she will do that to her mom too.Tosha: Yeah. Yeah. So for me, these are really both limit-setting issues, right? Like I've said earlier, we have to come at aggression from all the different angles, right? So we talked—we started out at the beginning with the first question about, like, hey, let's—we gotta focus in on our own healing and our own triggers, and make sure that we're not sort of trying to skate over that and pretend that we're gonna be able to be better without addressing anything.We also have to focus on connection. Like—somebody said they're tracking. Yeah, we need to pay attention—like, when does this stuff happen? We need to pour in connection, like we talked about. Make a list of all the things that are yummy when you do them together—just do more, do more, do more. Use play in the ways that we've talked about.But limits aren't necessarily the place to start—but if there are safety issues, then we have to go right there. So if the problem—well, there are lots of problems—but one thing that I've seen is that if we let a child, quote-unquote, succeed—or if a child succeeds in hurting us—let's just say throwing—like, let's say we get a stapler thrown at us and we end up with a black eye, or a cut on our face, or whatever it is—that child feels more fear than they felt before. Because there's a huge amount of fear associated with having that much power when you're so small, and feeling like the adults in your life can't keep everybody safe.Right? Because our number one job, in my opinion, is to keep everybody safe and alive. Let's just start there. Mm-hmm. So this is just basic. So that means that in a situation like this, you're gonna want to pay attention. You're gonna really want to track when this happens. It's good—it only happens with you, I think. That's telling in the sense that she feels safe enough with you to be able to show you that she's kind of holding things together out in the world, but actually feeling yucky inside, and these feelings need to come out somehow.And the next step is you figuring out: well, how do I want to show her that, yes, I can keep her safe? And that is likely gonna look like you physically anticipating—for her throwing something—or you see that she reaches for the stapler, and you're gonna rush in and you're gonna put your hand on her hand on that stapler: “I don't want that stapler to get thrown.”And I'm not gonna lie—it's gonna look messy, and it's gonna be a struggle, and all of the things. That's fine—as long as you're calm. If you feel triggered by the throwing, and you don't feel like you can stay calm, and you can feel like—to talk about, you know, the sweet child underneath the yucky feeling. So let's—got the throwing or the hitting or the cussing out or the whatever up here, and there's just always this sweet child underneath.If you lose sight of that child, then in a situation like this, I would rather you walked out of the room and the—you know—the stapler hit the door. You know, it breaks the window or it dents the door or whatever it is. I don't want that to happen, but I would rather that happen than it hit you and then you hit her, or you held her harder than you want, or you screamed horrible things at her that you wished afterwards you could take back.Right. And I say these things not because I think you're doing this, but just because in my 20 years of working in this world and raising three kids—I know what those feelings feel like, and they're real, and they happen to all of us. So if you feel out of control, remove yourself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: Even at the cost of the window. But—which is why we have to start with our own—getting ourselves in what I call “good enough emotional shape.” Because ultimately, you need to be able to move in, put your hand on that hand with the stapler, and just say something like, “I can't—I can't let you throw that, sweet girl. I can't let you throw that.” And that's it.And then she's gonna have a huge upset. She's gonna fight, and she's gonna try and—“Let go of me,” and “I can't breathe,” and whatever. And unless she breathes through her hand—like, she's breathing okay, right? But that upset, again, is the gold nugget. Like—then you welcome the feelings and you allow them to pour out. Because something happened. Something is going on. And it might not be that one thing happened during that day at school, or wherever, but it might be that there was a little nick and a little nick and a little nick. And every time—whatever—she didn't get what she wanted, or a sibling got something and she didn't, or you answered a sibling before you answered her, or whatever it is—they're just all little things.They happen. They're not your fault or anybody's fault. It's just that if, every time they happen, she doesn't release the yucky feelings that arise in her as a result, then what's happening is they're building up. And so I like to think of it as the sand—or the sedimentary rock—on the beach. You can see those striations in it, right? So it's like—sand is really soft; you can kind of brush it off, but when it sits and it hardens, then you have to take, like, a chisel to it.Sarah: Yeah. For our people, we call that “getting a full emotional backpack,” when you're talking about the nicks that build up over time. So that'll resonate for people.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly.Sarah: Thank you so much, Tosha.Tosha: Yeah.Sarah: I hope—that was—Tosha: Helpful. But you have to physically get in there.Sarah: Yeah, physically get in there. And if it happens too fast to catch the first one, you just kind of do your best and try for the second one.Tosha: Yes.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yes. And then you expect the upset, and you stay with it if you can.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Remembering that that's just a scared little girl in there.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Right. You don't know what this is about. Just trust that her body knows that it needs to do this healing, and she's picked you because she knows you can handle it—that you won't lose sight of her goodness, that your love is strong. And that's an honor. I know it feels hard, but it's actually a real honor when we're the one who gets chosen for that emotional work.Sarah: I love that, and I want to highlight that a lot of what you talked about today was our own inner work on keeping ourselves calm and keeping our mindset of keeping track of that sweet child—as you say, the sweet child inside that's just afraid and needs us in those moments. 'Cause it can feel—I think a lot of parents can feel—like, quote, victimized, and that's probably going to get them deeper into the aggression than get them out of it.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly. And so we want to feel—I hope that after this call you feel empowered. I mean, I hope there's just one thing that you can take away and experiment with doing differently. Just think of these things as experiments. You don't have to get it perfect—right? Whatever the word is that you have in your head. Right. Just try something.Sarah: Just—Tosha: Pick one idea that you heard and try it. Try it for a day. See how it goes. And remember that if it leads to big upset on the part of your child, that doesn't mean you did it wrong. It probably means you're actually doing something right.Sarah: That's so key. I love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. We really appreciate you and your work, and everyone, be sure to let us know how it goes for you when you try some of these things. Let us know in the Facebook group. And thank you, Tosha—thanks for getting up early and meeting with us today.Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you for inviting me back, Sarah.Sarah: Thanks, everyone. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Today, we're talking about aggression, specifically in boys, and how we as parents can respond with understanding, connection, and compassion instead of fear or shaming. Joining me is Tosha Schore, a powerful voice in peaceful parenting and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. Tosha is also the creator of the Out With Aggression program and co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. She's spent decades helping parents shift the way they relate to their kids, especially when big behaviors show up. In our conversation, Tosha and I got into the roots of aggressive behavior in boys, and how it's so often a signal, not of defiance, but of fear or frustration. We explored how society often mislabels boys as “bad” when they make mistakes with little room for second chances. Tosha shared what it means to truly listen to our kids, how to build safe spaces for them to express themselves without shame, and why emotional connection, not punishment, is the key to long-term growth and emotional development. If aggression is something your family is struggling with right now, this conversation is for you. And if you find it valuable, and I think you will, consider sharing it with other parents who might need it.   About Tosha Schore Tosha Schore is a dynamic leader and globally recognized speaker and trainer dedicated to empowering parents and the professionals who support them. As the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully and creator of the Out With Aggression program, Tosha has equipped thousands of parents worldwide with tools to transform challenging behaviors by fostering connection, confidence, and compassion in their relationships with their children. She is also the author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Drawing on her over two decades of experience, and her extensive training in Hand in Hand Parenting and certification as a Step into Your Moxie® Facilitator, Tosha inspires parents to integrate connection as a bedrock principle in their families, and provides actionable answers to the “then what?” questions parents often face when shifting away from harsher, less effective practices. Tosha is championing a cultural shift toward more compassionate parenting and a more peaceful world.   Things you'll learn from this episode Why understanding boys' behavior requires connecting the dots between their emotions, environment, and executive function challenges How recognizing aggression as a response to fear, frustration, or impulse control issues helps parents approach it with empathy Why creating safe spaces for boys to express emotions without judgment fosters emotional growth and self-regulation Why challenging societal perceptions that label boys as "bad guys" is essential for supporting their emotional development How to prioritize emotional connection over discipline in order to navigate challenging behaviors without shame or escalation   Resources mentioned Toscha Shore's website Parenting Boys Peacefully Free 10-Day Reconnect Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Toscha Shore Dr. John Duffy on Helping Our Struggling Teen Boys (Tilt Parenting podcast) Rescuing Our Sons: 8 Solutions to Our Crisis of Disaffected Teen Boys by Dr. John Duffy Seth Perler, Executive Function Coach   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Shaun Clowes is the chief product officer at Confluent and former CPO at Salesforce's MuleSoft and at Metromile. He was also the first head of growth at Atlassian, where he led product for Jira Agile and built the first-ever B2B growth team. In our conversation, we discuss:• Why most PMs are bad, and how to fix this• Why great AI products are all about the data• Why he changed his mind about being data-driven• How to build your B2B growth team• How to choose your next career stop• Much more—Brought to you by:• Enterpret—Transform customer feedback into product growth• BuildBetter—AI for product teams• Wix Studio—The web creation platform built for agencies—Find the transcript at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/why-great-ai-products-are-all-about-the-data-shaun-clowes—Where to find Shaun Clowes:• X: https://x.com/ShaunMClowes• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-clowes-80795014/• Website: https://shaunclowes.com/about-shaun• Reforge: https://www.reforge.com/profiles/shaun-clowes—Where to find Lenny:• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/—In this episode, we cover:(00:00) Shaun's background(05:08) The state of product management(09:33) Becoming a 10x product manager(13:23) Specific ways to leverage AI in product management(17:15) Feedback rivers(19:20) AI's impact on data management(24:35) The future of enterprise businesses with AI(35:41) Data-driven decision-making(45:50) Building effective growth teams(50:18) The evolution of product-led growth(56:16) Career insights and decision-making(01:07:45) Failure corner(01:12:32) Final thoughts and lightning round—Referenced:• Steve Blank's website: https://steveblank.com/• Getting Out of the Building. 2 Minutes to See Why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbMgWr1YVfs• OpenAI: https://openai.com/• Claude: https://claude.ai/• Sachin Rekhi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sachinrekhi/• Video: Building Your Product Intuition with Feedback Rivers: https://www.sachinrekhi.com/video-building-your-product-intuition-with-feedback-rivers• Confluent: https://www.confluent.io• Workday: https://www.workday.com/• Lenny and Friends Summit: https://lennyssummit.com/• A conversation with OpenAI's CPO Kevin Weil, Anthropic's CPO Mike Krieger, and Sarah Guo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxkvVZua28k• Anthropic: https://www.anthropic.com/• Salesforce: https://www.salesforce.com/• Atlassian: https://www.atlassian.com/• Jira: https://www.atlassian.com/software/jira• Ashby: https://www.ashbyhq.com/• Occam's razor: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor• Breaking the rules of growth: Why Shopify bans KPIs, optimizes for churn, prioritizes intuition, and builds toward a 100-year vision | Archie Abrams (VP Product, Head of Growth at Shopify): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/shopifys-growth-archie-abrams• Charlie Munger quote: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/11903426-show-me-the-incentive-and-i-ll-show-you-the-outcome• Elena Verna on how B2B growth is changing, product-led growth, product-led sales, why you should go freemium not trial, what features to make free, and much more: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/elena-verna-on-why-every-company• The ultimate guide to product-led sales | Elena Verna: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/the-ultimate-guide-to-product-led• Metromile: https://www.metromile.com/• Tom Kennedy on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tom-kennedy-37356b2b/• Building Wiz: the fastest-growing startup in history | Raaz Herzberg (CMO and VP Product Strategy): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/building-wiz-raaz-herzberg• Wiz: https://www.wiz.io• Colin Powell's 40-70 rule: https://www.42courses.com/blog/home/2019/12/10/colin-powells-40-70-rule• Detroiters on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/80165019• Glean: https://www.glean.com/• Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Candor-Kick-Ass-Without-Humanity/dp/1250103509• Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges: https://www.amazon.com/Listen-Simple-Everyday-Parenting-Challenges/dp/0997459301• Empress Falls Canyon and abseiling: https://bmac.com.au/blue-mountains-canyoning/empress-falls-canyon-and-abseiling—Recommended books:• The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses: https://www.amazon.com/Lean-Startup-Entrepreneurs-Continuous-Innovation/dp/0307887898• Inspired: How to Create Products Customers Love: https://www.amazon.com/Inspired-Create-Products-Customers-Love/dp/0981690408—Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com.—Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed. Get full access to Lenny's Newsletter at www.lennysnewsletter.com/subscribe

This podcast episode is for every parent of a young child who doesn't want to always resort to yelling or time-outs as  a discpline strategy. Tosha and Tammy walk through the power of play, connection, and laughter even during the most challenging of moments! Tosha Schore, M.A., brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting. She is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems. A sought after coach, author, educator, and speaker, Schore is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their children deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. She is the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully , co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and a trainer of Hand in Hand Parenting. Interested in more from the Institute? The Parenting Handbook: Your Guide to Raising Resilient Children For a limited time only, buy a copy of our The Parenting Handbook: Your Guide to Raising Resilient Children and recieve a free gift! Yes,  when you buy our book you also get access to our Compassionate Discipline workshop valued at $87.84.  Not quite sure yet? Download a free chapter! To find out more, click here for more info! Interested in our Professional Membership? ICP is thrilled to offer its new professional membership. This membership comes with 30+ accredited mental health courses, 15 general children's mental health courses, bi-monthly professional group consults, access to our live tranings, printables, scripts, and case note templates.  Affordable, accesible training all in one spot! Find out more here

In this BONUS REWIND, we welcome Tosha Shore, a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she's on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. I am also co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges,” which has been translated into five languages!  Together we dive into a lively discussion of the differences we've experienced parenting boys vs. girls, how societal expectations lead boys down a different emotional path than girls, how we can best support our boys to be emotionally resilient, and how to connect with them when connection seems lost. Resources We Shared: Learn all about Tosha's program: Parenting Boys Peacefully here. Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges Visit No Guilt Mom Rate & Review the No Guilt Mom Podcast on Apple here. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Listen on Spotify? You can rate us there too! Check out our favorite deals from our sponsors here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As summer winds down, I hope you're settling into the new school year with ease, whether your kids are already back in class or you're soaking up the last few weeks of summer. After a break, I'm thrilled to kick off the fall season with some amazing guests and content that you've come to expect from the Heartful Parent Podcast. Our guest today is Tosha Schore, the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. If you're parenting girls, don't tune out! Tosha's insights are universal and relevant, regardless of your child's gender. The way boys are raised impacts everyone, including girls, so this episode is for all parents. Key Takeaways: Tosha's Mission: Tosha is dedicated to creating a more peaceful world by nurturing boys with empathy and emotional intelligence. Universal Lessons: The strategies Tosha shares apply to all children, emphasizing the importance of connection, setting loving limits, and using play as a tool for growth. Broader Impact: How we raise boys affects the experiences of girls and non-binary children, making Tosha's work crucial for everyone. Expertise and Reach: Tosha has co-authored the book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and her work has been featured on numerous platforms, including Dr. Shefali's Parenting Mastery Summit. Why Listen? Tosha's wisdom goes beyond parenting boys; it's about creating a compassionate world where all children can thrive. Whether you're raising boys, girls, or non-binary kids, this episode offers valuable insights to help you on your parenting journey. Links Mentioned in this episode: Book: Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges (https://amzn.to/3At2ZMw Connect with Tosha: https://parentingboyspeacefully.com/reconnect/ Tune in and join us for this insightful conversation with Tosha Schore! Connect with us!   https://theheartfulparent.com/heartful-parent-academy/   Facebook: @theheartfulparent Instagram @theheartfulparent Subscribe & Leave a Review: Don't forget to subscribe to The Heartful Parent Podcast and leave a review if you enjoyed this episode!     Stay tuned for more Heartful conversations on parenting, love, and inclusivity. Thank you for listening!  

Dr. Dan welcomes back guest Tosha Schore to talk about parenting boys. Tosha is an advocate who works with parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly.  Today's episode is a follow-up episode to Tosha's important work (featured in our episode in December 2018) advocating for boys.  Tosha Schore is a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one boy at a time. She is the co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.” For more information go to www.parentingboyspeacefully.com. Email your parenting questions to Dr. Dan podcast@drdanpeters.com (we might answer on a future episode). Follow us @parentfootprintpodcast (Instagram, Facebook) and @drdanpeters (X).   Please listen, follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. For more information: www.exactlyrightmedia.com   www.drdanpeters.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tosha Schore a Shameless Mom to three mostly grown sons (ages 16, 18, and 20), as well as a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. She is also co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges,” which has been translated into five languages. Tosha works with parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. She has been featured on Dr. Shefali's Parenting Mastery Summit, GoZen's Anger Transformation and ListenUp! Summits, and has spoken to audiences at the Institute for Child Psychology, the Diversity in Parenting Conference, the Davidson Institute, Lawrence Livermore Laboratory, and been on a boatload of podcasts! Tosha and I met at a conference where I was speaking on podcasting. When she came up to me after my talk to tell me a little about her show, I knew she would make a fantastic guest for the SMA. Listen in to hear Tosha share: Her roots in feminism and her alarm about having 3 sons How she wrapped her head around maintaining her identity as a strong feminist and a mom of boys How the feminist movement has left behind boys and men How the patriarchy has harmed women, obviously, but also most men and most definitely our sons The importance of advocating for boys despite their behaviors that we might not enjoy or approve of Why our boys need safe spaces to make mistakes Common mistakes that parents make in trying to stop aggression Her five-step practice to stop aggression Links mentioned: Connect with Tosha: www.parentingboyspeacefully.com Free Resource PBP 10 Day Reconnect:  www.parentingboyspeacefully.com/reconnect Tosha's Course: Out with Aggression Tosha on FB Tosha on Youtube Tosha on IG Tosha on LinkedIn We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we welcome Tosha Shore, a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she's on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. I am also co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges,” which has been translated into five languages!  Together we dive into a lively discussion of the differences we've experienced parenting boys vs. girls, how societal expectations lead boys down a different emotional path than girls, how we can best support our boys to be emotionally resilient, and how to connect with them when connection seems lost. Resources We Shared: Learn all about Tosha's program: Parenting Boys Peacefully here. Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges Visit No Guilt Mom Rate & Review the No Guilt Mom Podcast on Apple here. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Listen on Spotify? You can rate us there too! Check out our favorite deals from our sponsors here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your young boy exhibit behavior that has you in fear for his future, and what kind of man he will become? Parenting boys with difficult behaviors can be very challenging. What can we do now to reduce risks and aggression?   Tosha Schore is a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. She is also co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges,” which has been translated into five languages. Tosha works with parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly, and has been featured on Dr. Shefali's Parenting Mastery Summit, GoZen's Anger Transformation and ListenUp! Summits, and has spoken to audiences at the Institute for Child Psychology, the Diversity in Parenting Conference, the Davidson Institute, Lawrence Livermore Laboratory, and on a boatload of podcasts!   Listen to this inspiring Parenting With Impact episode with Tosha Schore about today's approach to parenting young boys with challenging behaviors. Top 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns in Their Tracks In this FREE insider's guide from the experts at ImpactParents, learn 10 tips that will actually help you reduce the frequency and intensity of meltdowns for good! Used by parents all over the world, successfully help children manage their intense emotions and triggers so they learn to respond with respect and calm. Here is what to expect on this week's show: In the era of “me too” and feminism, how do we want to raise the next generation of young men? Connection between parent and child is the key to reducing aggressive behaviors in boys. When you lean into your relationship, he will do better. Shifting your mindset on how you parent- showing compassion and embracing emotion is valuable in raising boys who have a better handle on their own feelings and behaviors.     Related Links: 6 Core Coaching Concepts for Creating Change Parents are Missing Link to Empower Kids with ADHD Let The Feelings Flow: Dealing With Emotion Worst Parenting Advice for Complex Kids A Parent's Best Question: Is It Naughty or Neurological? Connect with Tosha: parentingboyspeacefully.com Facebook Instagram LinkedIn YouTube Sign up for the next Out With Aggression Workshop   Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools  Connect with Elaine & Diane: Instagram @impactparents Facebook @impactparent LinkedIn @impactparents Twitter @impactparents Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12352. Parenting Boys   Tosha Schore is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time by supporting you to care for yourself, connect with your boy deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly!   She brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting, and is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems.   Through her online community and courses, Tosha helps break the isolation of modern parenting and lifts your confidence so you're better equipped to face the challenges of raising young boys.   Tosha is the creator of all things Parenting Boys Peacefully, including her signature course, Out With Aggression, a six-week sprint to stop your boy's explosions and lift your parenting confidence. She is also co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and a frequent guest expert on podcasts and at online and in-person conferences. You can find her at www.parentingboyspeacefully.com   Try out her 10 day Reconnection Challenge:  https://parentingboyspeacefully.com/reconnect/     Self-Care: Tosha priotizes travel to take care of herself.    Family Fun: Be silly and be physical.  Rough house, play the sock game.  Listen to ideas from episode #328  (https://everydaymotherhood.libsyn.com/328-rough-housing-is-good-with-lawrence-cohen-phd)   Find me on Instagram: Christy Thomas — Coach for Exhausted Moms (@everyday_christy) • Instagram photos and videos Don't forget to leave a rating or review. Email me Play4life.Christy@gmail.com  Don't hesitate to reach out for coaching with Christy: Coaching (christythomascoaching.com)

“I was so passionate about the changes that I was able to create in my own family, that I felt this call to be able to help other people do the same thing and then I realized that I could make money doing it.” This week, Parker chats with Tosha Schore about her financial journey. Tosha is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time by supporting her clients to care for themselves, connect with their boy(s) deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly! She brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting, and is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems. Through her online community and courses, Tosha helps break the isolation of modern parenting and lifts her client's confidence so they're better equipped to face the challenges of raising young boys. Tosha is the creator of all things Parenting Boys Peacefully, including her signature course, Out With Aggression, a six-week sprint to stop your boy's explosions and lift your parenting confidence. She is also co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and a frequent guest expert on podcasts and at online and in-person conferences. You can find her at www.parentingboyspeacefully.com. The Bottom Line by Evolved Finance explores the financial journeys of some of the most successful online educators, thought leaders, influencers, and service providers in the online space. Each week, Parker sits down with a current Evolved Finance client to talk about their relationship with money and how their mindset has changed as their business has grown. To learn more about Evolved Finance: Follow us on iTunes and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/evolved-finance/id1227529139 Download our free audio course: www.evolvedfinance.com/audiocourse Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evolvedfinance/ To learn more about Tosha and her business: Follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toshaschoreyourpartnerinparentingboys/ Subscribe to her YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/ToshaSchoreYourPartnerInParenting Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toshaschore/ Sign up for The 10-Day Reconnect: https://parentingboyspeacefully.com/reconnect/

You're watching your toddler or preschooler act aggressively, what do you do? It can be confusing and scary because you're not modeling that behavior and we often don't know how to respond. In this episode, Tosha Schore comes on to talk about boys and aggressive behavior. We talk about why it happens and what to do about it. If you enjoyed this episode, and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me @mindfulmamamentor. Have you left a review yet? All you have to do is go to Apple Podcasts or  Stitcher (or wherever you listen), and thanks for your support of the show! Tosha Schore is the creator of all things Parenting Boys Peacefully, including her 10-Day Reconnect, an online group experience shared by over 15,000 parents worldwide. She is also co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and a trainer of Hand in Hand Parenting. Get Hunter's book, Raising Good Humans now! Click here to order and get book bonuses! ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe—we're over 25 thousand strong! Join the Mindful Parenting membership. Take your learning further! Get my Top 2 Best Tools to Stop Yelling AND the Mindful Parenting Roadmap for FREE at: mindfulmamamentor.com/stopyelling/ Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Patty Wipfler and Toscha Schore, authors of the incredible book "Listen: 5 Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges"  explore five parenting tools that will foster connection, joy, emotional resiliency, self-compassion, and limit setting in your home. These tools are all beautifully simple, yet incredibly powerful. Irrespective of your child's age, this is a parenting podcast you do not want to miss! Want to learn more from Patty & Tosha? Watch their workshop  based on their best-selling book "Listen" Use code 5TOOLS30 to take 30% OFF! https://instituteofchildpsychology.com/product/five-simple-listening-tools-that-connect-heal/ You can also watch this workshop as part of our membership -- podcast listeners can take 40% OFF their annual membership (or $19.99/m). Get your 7-Day Free Trial today!

Welcome back to Motherkind Moment. Moment is your place on a Monday for calm, connection and maybe even a shift in perspective before the week ahead. This moment is from a brilliant episode I recorded with Patty Wipfler. She is the founder of Hand-in-hand Parenting and has been leading the way in conscious parenting for over 30 years. There is so much authority and wisdom in her words. She reminded me that crying is such a healing release. I think this clip is going to help you reframe how you feel when your children cry and when you have a good cry, too. If you haven't listened to the full episode I highly recommend it. You can listen to the clip by clicking above or the full episode here. ABOUT PATTY WIPFLER Patty Wipfler is the Founder and Program Director of Hand in Hand parenting. Patty writes, speaks, trains parent leaders, and develops resources for parents to help them lift difficulties from their children's lives and their own. She directs the training of Parenting by Connection Instructors from all parts of the U.S. and abroad. Her focus is on building parents' emotional understanding and helping parents to build networks of mutual support that benefit their families and communities. In 1989, she founded the non-profit Parents Leadership Institute, which evolved into Hand in Hand Parenting. She is the author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Through Hand in Hand, Patty offers monthly free teleseminars in conjunction with leading parent educators, writers, activists, and bloggers. Her articles have been published in Mothering Magazine, the Bulletin of Zero to Three, and Child Welfare News. She has been a keynote speaker at Association for the Education of Young Children conventions in Chicago and Philadelphia, and she has done workshops and trainings throughout California, and in Oregon, New Mexico, Texas, and Massachusetts, as well as in Beijing, China. COME VISIT MOTHERKIND ON INSTAGRAM - INSTAGRAM: @zoeblaskey - come engage with Zoe and our community over on Instagram for inspiration, tips, and sometimes a bit of humour to get us through our day.

Welcome to this really special episode. Patty Wipfler has been working with families and children for an incredible 46 years. You may not know her name, but you may have heard of her organisation called Hand in Hand Parenting. It's a nonprofit international resource for parents. Patty is on a mission to help parents by teaching an approach she calls parenting by connection. She also has a book out called Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Hand in Hand is an incredible organisation and I would encourage you to look at their website. There are so many free resources and it's all non-profit. They have 135 instructors in 18 countries. She is currently working with Harvard on a research project to bring Hand in Hand tools to early childhood educators. I love having guests like Patty on the podcast. She has an incredible perspective and this comes across in her tone, energy, wisdom and depth of expertise. When someone like Patty speaks, we want to listen. We chat about: Her moment of transformation Her life's work and mission Crying and what it means if your child cries a lot Why we as parents need to allow ourselves to cry more What happens when we listen to our children's emotions and when someone listens to ours Hand and Hand parenting tools for an incredible connection and relationship with your children What I take from this episode is that our children's emotional release is an important and powerful thing that we do not want to shut down or worry about. She tells us that if your child cries a lot, as mine does, and releases a lot of emotion with you, that is an amazing sign of a close connection of safety. When we feel safe with someone, we can release that emotion and that is what we need to do. Crying is life's natural healer. As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so come and join us there. Resources mentioned in this episode: Facebook: facebook.com/handinhandparenting Twitter: twitter.com/ListenToKids Website: handinhandparenting.org/blog/ Book: Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. FREEBIES! Find out how you can take control of your life, reconnect to you and more! Download ‘10 Ways to Reconnect to You' and our weekly and monthly check-in on Motherkind.co. Are you ready to find freedom from guilt? Let me help you find Freedom from Perfectionism if you are a mother who has ever felt not quite enough. GROUP COACHING PROGRAMME STARTS JANUARY 2022 - Will you join us for Reconnect to you - the reboot? Click here to find out more and to register. About Patty Wipfler Patty Wipfler is the Founder and Program Director of Hand in Hand parenting. Patty writes, speaks, trains parent leaders, and develops resources for parents to help them lift difficulties from their children's lives and their own. She directs the training of Parenting by Connection Instructors from all parts of the U.S. and abroad. Her focus is on building parents' emotional understanding and helping parents to build networks of mutual support that benefit their families and communities. In 1989, she founded the non-profit Parents Leadership Institute, which evolved into Hand in Hand Parenting. She is the author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Through Hand in Hand, Patty offers monthly free teleseminars in conjunction with leading parent educators, writers, activists, and bloggers. Her articles have been published in Mothering Magazine, the Bulletin of Zero to Three, and Child Welfare News. She has been a keynote speaker at Association for the Education of Young Children conventions in Chicago and Philadelphia, and she has done workshops and trainings throughout California, and in Oregon, New Mexico, Texas, and Massachusetts, as well as in Beijing, China.

In my coach-the-coach podcast episode of season 4, I had the pleasure of coaching (and, as I explain early in the episode, strategizing with) Tosha Schore about opportunities in the “professional development speakers for teachers” space. Tosha is a parent educator committed to creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time, who wants to break into speaking to educators and parents. A coach, speaker and co-author with Hand in Hand Parenting founder, Patty Wipfler, of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, Tosha is mom to three boys and an advocate for boys and their families worldwide. She is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. Tosha holds a BA in Women's Studies and Language Studies from UCSC, an MA in Applied Linguistics from UCLA, and is a certified teacher and trainer of instructors in Parenting by Connection. During our coach-the-coach episode, we dive deep into what it takes to break into the “professional development speakers for teachers” market. In episode 405 of Moxielicious®, Tosha and I discuss how to: Identify the focus for a signature presentation that can be adapted for educators and parents Leverage speaking opportunities at national, regional, state, and local professional development conferences to connect with educational leaders for speaking opportunities at their institutions Price speaking opportunities in the K-12 education space (Hint: It's about selling daylong opportunities within a school) Avoid being vague or dismissible by being unapologetic about having a specific focus in professional development Whether you are curious about opportunities in the “professional development speakers for teachers” (and parents!) space, or you are looking for interesting speaker marketing tactics, I think you will enjoy this episode. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Learn more about Tosha Schore on her website. Applications are open for the next cohort of Step into Your Moxie® Certification. Learn more about the first-of-its-kind vocal empowerment certification program for coaches, consultants, trainers, and business leaders who want to amplify their voice, visibility, and influence (while getting paid to show their clients and employees how to do the same). Grab all the details here. Please leave a review and subscribe to Moxielicious® via Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

Having sons forced Tosha Schore to reevaluate everything she knew about boys. Schore, the daughter of a single mom, grew up stepped in the women's movement. As a  child, she attended marches and rallies for women's rights and, in college, she majored in Women's Studies. She was pregnant with her first child and sidelined with a bout of nausea when a startling thought popped into her head: What if I have a boy? The thought was "terrifying," Tosha said, noting that "it never even occurred" to her, before that moment, that she might have a son. After her son was born, Tosha was determined to be a strong advocate for him. And that, she knew, would require some learning. "I realized I was going to have to revisit some of the feminist ideology I was coming from because as much as I believe in it -- and still believe in it -- the ideology that I internalized painted boys and men as the 'other' and 'the bad guy,'" Tosha says. She soon realized that "boys get treated a certain way because of their perceived gender," just a girls do. "it's not fair to ignore that just because males, as they grow, still tend to hold more positions of power," Tosha says, noting that boys struggle in school. "I'm excited that we women have gained ground, but we're losing the boys along the way, and we're losing the men along the way. I think of feminism as bringing some equality to family systems. But that has not been what's happened in recent years. We get to raise boys differently." In this episode, Jen, Janet & Tosha discuss: How feminism fuels Tosha's advocacy for boys Male gender expectations and stereotypes Boys' struggles in education Finding balance in family systems Making room for dad Cultural influences on gender expectations and experiences Why your son needs female friends Boys & aggression Raising boys who can feel & express emotions Separating behavior from personality Getting to the root of your fear regarding your son's behavior Listening as a powerful tool for healing Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: toshaschore.com -- Tosha's website Boy Talk Blueprint — Janet’s guide to better conversations w your son! Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, by Patty Whipfler & Tosha Schore (book mentioned at 27:43)

Patty Wipfler is the founder and Program Director of Hand in Hand Parenting, a non-profit, parent-led organization that helps parents when parenting gets hard.  Her work focuses on building parents’ emotional understanding and on helping parents to establish networks of mutual support that benefit their families and communities. For more than 45 years, she has been teaching basic listening, parenting, and leadership skills to parents. Patty developed Parenting by Connection, a simple but powerful parenting approach that nurtures the parent-child connection. Her instructor team works in the United States and 17 countries serving parents with transformative tools and accessible support. With co-author Tosha Schore, M.A., Patty wrote Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Her Listening to Children booklets have sold over 800,000 copies and are available in 10 languages. Patty’s focus on children began at an early age. When Patty was four years old, her seven-month-old sister developed a mysterious condition in which she descended into having no functional mind and no visible recognition of anyone. A cascade of stress, difficulty, and harm tumbled through Patty’s family that exacted a high price from each of them for decades, hitting her mother and younger brother the hardest. Patty had extensive experience caring for young siblings, as the oldest of six children, and she also helped care for cousins and neighbors. Married at 21 years old, she began her career as a kindergarten and first grade teacher. While doing social justice work with the United Farmworkers in the late 60’s and early 70’s, she had her own two children. She was doing great as a mom until the birth of her second son. Her older son was not happy about being a brother. To her surprise and dismay, she began being harsh and having impulses to hurt the older son who was 2 years old at the time. Then at a weekend retreat in 1973, Patty found herself crying uncontrollably and pouring herself out to Jennie, a woman she barely knew – sobbing about her own father and neglected brother – and Jennie did not interrupt and did not give advice. That afternoon, Patty played with her children and felt patient and joyful. Her whole body felt lighter. The pleasure of parenting had returned. She had no angry episodes for weeks afterward. She knew that whatever Jennie had done, that was what she had needed. Patty went to Jennie and asked her to explain her magic touch, and Jennie replied that she had been taught to listen – that when there is a listener, when someone offloads tension and hurt through laughter, crying, tantrums, or trembling, they can heal and think and function more clearly. Jennie told her that listeners can exchange listening time, grow to trust one another and through listening do deeply beneficial things for one another. She explained that it is a pleasure to listen to someone and assist them in making emotional sense of their lives. “That marked the beginning of my 47 years of experiments with listening,” Patty said. Patty began by listening to an engineer whose wife had just walked out on him, leaving him with a six-month-old Down syndrome daughter to care for. This listening time exchange took place for an hour every week for the next twelve years. Patty’s family life warmed and lightened as a result. She then employed listening with her two-year old son when he became ill. This helped him allay his fear of the medicine he was prescribed to take three times a day. From these early experiences Patty saw that the stress of parenting could be prevented. Listening was a key for the adult and the child. Listening was a way of giving love that was powerful and respectful. “And soon after I saw how Listening Partnerships could help me in an ongoing way as a mother,” Patty says, “I and some other moms and dads embarked on figuring out how to use the ideas of listening to and connecting with children to keep them from reaching adulthood with heavy burdens of childhood hurt that get in their way of having the lives they wanted.” Patty believes it is a privilege to be allowed into the emotional trenches with parents, to listen to them, to lend them confidence in themselves and their children, and to love. She confesses that she has made a lot of mistakes as a parent and that everyone has had hard things happen. She does this work with parents, aware that she has ideas that work very well, but that every parent needs good support to be there for their children, especially when times are tough. Patty has led over 400 residential weekend workshops for families and for leaders of parents in the U.S. and in 23 countries.  She authored the Building Emotional Understanding and Understanding Tears and Tantrums courses, which have transformed the lives of many thousands of parents and children in the U.S. and abroad. Her materials are currently published in English, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese; several other languages will be added soon. She is also the author of the Parent Rescue Series: self-guided, self-paced online classes, focused on specific parenting topics. Through Hand in Hand, Patty offers monthly free teleseminars in conjunction with leading parent educators, writers, activists, and bloggers. Her articles have been published in Mothering Magazine, the Bulletin of Zero to Three, and Child Welfare News. Patty has two sons and three teenaged grandchildren, and lives in Palo Alto with her husband.

When our children act out the one thing parents aren't likely to do in the moment is to simply listen.  At that point parents have usually reached their boiling point and time out, yelling, and a loud list of consequences are likely the punishments of choice to end the situation. Patty Wipfler is a mother as well as the founder of a non-profit organization called "Hand in Hand Parenting".  She is with us this week teaching about the powerful tool of simply listening.  In this episode she discusses her book "Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges".

Hunter talks to Tosha Schore about Listening To Boys. It’s time to be more conscious about how we are raising our boys. Culturally, there’s a lot more shaming going on for boys because we don’t want them to grow up “soft.” But is that really what helps? What do boys need to grow up to be emotionally healthy, and how can we provide that for them? Some big takeaways from this episode include: 1. It’s time to look at “bad” behavior as a cry for help 2. What to do when your child hits you 3. Listening to each other can help us be that safe space for our boys Tosha Schore creates happy households by building your parenting confⅰdence and helping parents shift boys' behaviors through connection. She is co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges."  Website www.toshaschore.com Social Media Links https://www.facebook.com/toshaschoreyourpartnerinparentingboys/ Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review -----> Apple Podcasts or on Stitcher (or wherever you listen!) ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches overstressed moms on how to cultivate mindfulness in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in yoga & mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide, and is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course. Download the audio training, Mindfulness For Moms (The Superpower You Need) for free! It's at mindfulmomguide.com. Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com.

Today we’re talking with Tosha Schore! A parent coach for conscious parents, Tosha helps you shift your boy's behaviors through connection. Tosha is committed to creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time, by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. She helps you lose it less, and raise respectful, resilient boys inside her online parent community, The Playhouse (https://offerings.toshaschore.com/courses/playhouse/). She is also the creator of Out With Aggression! (https://offerings.toshaschore.com/courses/out-with-aggression) A simple 5-Step Practice to Stop Your Boy's Aggressive Behaviors and Lift Your Parenting Confidence, and author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges (https://hand-in-hand-shop.myshopify.com/products/listen-five-simple-tools-to-meet-your-everyday-parenting-challenges#oid=13_17). Tosha also happens to be mom to three boys of her own and is an advocate for boys and their families worldwide. Tosha is offering a Free Live Training (https://bit.ly/2XDRIDO) -- How to discipline your boy without punishment (https://bit.ly/2XDRIDO) -- that would be a perfect fit for you if you've got a boy between 2-10.

What we cover in this Episode:The core question that led me on the conscious parenting journey. An experience with my oldest son that revolutionized our family lifeAn activity in present moment awareness A mini quantum practice I recommend every day Resources referenced:Pam Leo's book, Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear-----> Later I studied Parenting by Connection with Patty Wipfler at Hand in Hand Parenting. Her book is my favorite starter for understanding and applying connection-based parenting:Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Shore

Meet Tosha Schore Tosha Schore is committed to creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time, by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly! She brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting, and is an expert at finding simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems. Tosha is the co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and parent coach at http://www.toshaschore.com/ (www.toshaschore.com ) Fav quotes from this episode: “Remember every parent [including you] is doing the best that they can do in every moment.” “The leader of the family needs to be in good emotional health.” “We can help kids grow into emotionally intelligent beings by offering them our loving attention when feelings bubble up for them as they move through the world.” “As parents of young boys, we have an amazing opportunity to create a different world.” “In order to create a more peaceful world…we have to have that space for our boys to heal from hurts as they happen to them otherwise they are just like pressure cookers.” “It is never too late.” In this episode we talk about: How raising our kids consciously has a direct impact on the state of the world. What to do if you are struggling with your child. The steps you can take to help your child grow into an emotionally intelligent adult. Why truly effective parenting starts with taking care of yourself and some suggestions of how to stay in “good parenting shape”. How raising boys is different to raising girls (and how it’s the same!) Is it ever “too late” for a disengaged/aggressive/distant child? Plus, we talk about the need for parents to build a loving supportive community for themselves in order to escape the feelings of isolation that can often colour parenthood. Resources: Links to plenty of free resources and trainings: https://toshaschore.com/ (https://toshaschore.com/) Tosha’s Youtube channel: http://bit.ly/2ThD82D (http://bit.ly/2ThD82D) Tosha’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Listen-Simple-Everyday-Parenting-Challenges/dp/0997459301 (“Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges”) “Out with Aggression” e-course. Find it https://offerings.toshaschore.com/courses/out-with-aggression/ (HERE.)

Dr. Dan enthusiastically welcomes today’s guest Tosha Schore to talk about a crucial topic for parents and communities across the globe: Raising our boys. www.toshaschore.com Tosha Schore is a parent coach, speaker and co-author with Hand in Hand Parenting founder, Patty Wipfler, of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Tosha is mom to three boys and an advocate for boys and their families worldwide. She is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. Tosha holds a BA in Women’s Studies & Language Studies from UCSC, an MA in Applied Linguistics from UCLA, and is a certified teacher and trainer of instructors in Parenting by Connection. Tosha's intense work with boys (along with her book) teaches parents effective ways to build healthy relationships with their boys. She lives by the philosophy that as parents and caregivers transition through changes that are natural in life, families can come through those changes whole and wholly as who they authentically are. Dr. Dan and Tosha discuss the goal of raising respectful, resilient boys by dealing with emotions, hardships, and much more and in doing the work of good listening we are collectively creating a more peaceful world, one boy at a time. Dr. Dan has great questions for Tosha and her examples (from spaghetti to cell phones!) will resonate with listeners everywhere. The discussion includes parenting strategies that will change your relationship with your boys and the tone of your family. As the mom of boys, Tosha shares a brave and honest Parent Footprint moment to close the show. Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®.

What goes hand in hand with holiday gifting? Toys and more toys. This week we’re asking how you feel about toys, what decisions you make around holiday request lists, and how you can keep them in check, plus why we can all expect some meltdowns over toys in the holidays.  On the episode, you'll hear about: Overwhelm - theirs and yours - and what you can do to overcome it Envies and jealousies Getting clear on what toys mean to you and why Expectations and appreciations: Why your child might find it hard to say thanks Making room, clearing out, cutting down, and giving to others If you've ever felt overwhelmed on how much to give or how much is coming into your house at this time of year, here's a chance to mull over what you love - and might want to lose - about seasonal giving traditions.  Listen to Too Many Toys?  More Resources about Kids, Limits and Toys Read - Toys often cause big feelings for kids - especially when they can't have something they want, or feel like they chose the wrong plaything. Here's how one mom's trip to the store with her son ended in tears, and some positive steps she learned following.  Watch - Hand in Hand instructor Anna Cole reads about the time her son got violent in public when she refused to buy him what he asked for, and the strategies she used to handle his outburst calmly.  40% off Listen - Get over 100 real stories like Anna's of parents using the Hand in Hand approach to parenting in our book Listen: Five Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. When you use "holiday2018" at checkout you'll get the e-book at 40% off. Show me how to get Listen on sale. (Offer good until December 31).  keep connected We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Don’t forget to subscribe! Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our weekly newsletter

Have you ever woken up in the morning and vowed to yourself that you are going to make it A GREAT DAY? And then, 10 minutes later, your kids are bickering over who got the best bowl, homework is missing, and you can't find your purse? And it's like, seriously?!! What happened? And it continues like that, on a downward spiral, all through the day. Worrying about getting to school on time, sniping at your children who are sniping at each other, bribing a kid to take a class, threatening a kid to EAT SOMETHING, yelling at a kid to get IN THE SHOWER. Forget happier, peaceful, supportive parenting! At this point, you don't much like your kids. You don't like the way you handled things so you don't even like yourself. There doesn't feel much to be happy about! And then you get into bed and wonder - how am I going to face all that again tomorrow? The Key to Happier Parenting Is This... But what if you could change that? What if you could go to bed content in being the parent you are, confident in the decisions you made. Happier, because you own your parenting? That's what we're talking about on the podcast today. Owning your parenting means making decisions based on your own family's needs, and feeling empowered not powerless when moments get sticky. Owning your parenting means, ultimately, being a happier parent and in this episode, Elle and Abigail talk about how to get to that point. We find out: How false expectations can wreck our parenting experience How to love the kids you have not the kid you wanted How to feel happier about yourself as a parent even when things don't go as planned Getting past the "I shoulds," "I coulds," and "I bet other people are..." comparison parenting Parenting is tough, but when we can own parenting, we can remain strong, sure and secure when our kids put us through our paces. And when we own our parenting, we can love them fiercely, no matter what. What could be happier than that? More resources on Happier Parenting Hand in Hand Parenting isn't a one size fits all approach. Instead, the five tools can be used and adapted for all of your parenting challenges as you need them. Read more about them here in Learn Five Tools That Will Transform The Way You Parent In One Week The book Listen: Five Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges is available now in paperback, ebook or audio and lists hundreds of ways real-life parents use the tools. Listen to a section of the audiobook here Read What if Parenting Is an Emotional Practice? keep connected We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.  Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting. Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter  Wish parenting was less stressful? Join Hand in Hand’s Parent Club for support and community.  

Today Elle and Abigail are talking to New York Times bestselling author, neuro-biologist and family counselor Michael Gurian. We're talking boys, girls and their differences, and raising boys and girls so each thrives. All over the world boys in schools are failing and girls are succeeding, why? Why Boys Need Special Attention On the podcast today, Michael sheds some light. Known as "the people's philosopher," he breaks down the fascinating differences in how boys and girls brains process information, and what boys need more of in class. Michael addresses the commonly distorted gender paradigms that we as a society have come to believe about what boys and girls need and shares practical strategies to set girls up to do better in STEM subjects and boys to excel in reading, writing and speaking. We also take a look at how Michael's work with The Gurian Institue dovetails into Hand in Hand Parenting through playlistening, roughhousing and Staylistening. On today's episode: The four elements of difference between males and females How boys and girls process information differently and why schools need to teach according to these brain differences to help both sexes Why schools need to move away from verbal-centered teaching towards styles that activate the brain's visual and spatial-kinesthetic centers Mother's raising boys: What male emotional intelligence looks like Join us for a fascinating talk into raising our boys and girls to thrive. More Tools and Support for Raising Our Children According to Science You can read more about Michael and his work at www.michaelgurian.com and The Gurian Institute. The two books mentioned in this podcast are Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys and The Minds of Girls: A New Path for Raising Healthy, Resilient, and Successful Women You might also like to read the science behind the Hand in Hand Tool of Staylistening and if you'd like to find out about all of our five tools you can read our book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges or take the Hand in Hand Starter Class online or in-person with an instructor over 6 weeks. keep connected We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

You’re not alone. Whatever struggle you're facing and however hard it feels to you right now, I’m confident that with support you can get through it. And I’m 100% confident that you’re not the first or only parent to have slipped up in all the ways you have slipped up, nor are you the only parent to have a child who does X or behaves in Y way. So you really aren’t alone and we are our here to support you and help life go better for you and your family. -Tosha Schore In Episode 31, I'm talking with Tosha Schore, co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Tosha is a parent coach whose mission is to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. She is the mother to three boys ages 11, 13, and 15. Hand in Hand Parenting The whole philosophy is really based upon the idea that people are good. That our children are born good and they're doing the best they can and along the way, as they go through life...things happen. And the body has a natural process to heal from upsets and that process is a release of emotions...If we stop that process, a layer of hurt sets in. As the hurt piles up, the behavior gets stickier - off track. Patty Wipfler (co-author of Listen) founded Hand in Hand in 1989, but has working with parents for more than for 40 years. She started out by running a day care and eventually turning it into a non profit, while developing tools based on connection and listening. Patty also wrote a set of booklets that sold very well - one on each of the five tools. Patty is Tosha's mentor and asked her to c0-write the book with her. The Five Tools We want to do a balance of showing them that we care and we love them and they’re important and also pushing them to do things that they’re a little uncomfortable with but listening to the feelings that come up for them as we do that. The tools taught in the Hand in Hand method are "really simple, but not necessarily easy," according to Tosha. Some come easier than others depending on the person. “The whole philosophy is really based upon the idea that people are good. That our children are born good and they're doing the best they can and along the way, as they go through life...things happen. And the body has a natural process to heal from upsets and that process is a release of emotions.” Special Time Staylistening Setting Limits Playlistening The Listening Partnership   Resources Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges (order on Amazon) Sample Chapter & Reviews (On Hand in Hand website) Hand in Hand Parenting Website:Tons of free information, including articles, podcasts, etc. Hand in Parent Support FB group, where parents can look for Listening Partners Tosha's Website View all of Tosha's offerings, including her online course, "Out With Aggression!" and her membership community "Parenting Boys Peacefully: THE PLAYHOUSE." Tosha's Facebook Page: Tosha Schore, Your Partner in Parenting Boys Sign up for Tosha's email list

Hand in Hand Parenting Podcast for Parents, Episode 17: Rebuilding Hope When We Are Shocked or Scared by World Events When shocking events or natural disasters leave us raw and overwhelmed parenting can feel tougher than usual. Today Abigail and Elle share Hand in Hand's ideas for caring well for ourselves and our children when events rock us. We talk about how much to share with our children about these events and why pulling together will be, in the end, what pulls us through. Lack of Control One feeling that's common following a shocking event is of losing control. This episode talks about the idea of focussing on the present moment with our children as a way to nourish and restore our sense of good and security in our immediate world. What To Expect of Ourselves and Our Kids Elle mentions the ways that shock and fear can play our for children in less obvious ways, in clinginess, defiance or bravado, and Abigail talks about how their behavior might trigger us because of the feelings we hold around an event. Making space to let them cry and heal, or to go a little gentler in these times can help, they decide. The podcast ends on a note of hope, with suggestions for pulling together as a family, rebuilding hope and closeness through action. As parents, we can be the change that stops events dividing people, Abigail says, a place we can listen to others even when we disagree. Get More Support Please use and share these posts if you or a loved one needs support On audio: Helping Children Face an Uncertain World An Open Letter (of Hope) to Parents Around the World Helping Children Exposed to Shocking Events Talking to Your Child About Disasters And if you like the ideas in this week's podcast, Patty's book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges has many more for the tough times in parenting. You can get it here, online, or on audio get in touch! We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

It's 2018 already! Happy New Year! This week's podcast has a New Year's  flavor as Elle and Abigail talk about bringing change to yourself and your family. What is the secret to making habits stick? Abigail reveals she's big on studying on how habits work and reveals the three-step process she's used to help keep resolutions in the past. This is great news to Elle, who is less adept at adopting new ways that last beyond February! They talk about the pressure we pile on when we devote ourselves to doing something new - especially when it comes to parenting. Powerful Ways To Bring Change in Your Family The moms introduce some small habits that could bring powerful change to parents and the way their family connects. Join Elle and Abigail as they talk about their own parenting habits, their wins, and their fails. Discount on our book Listen - until January 9th! Elle mentioned a discount on Hand in Hand Parenting's ultimate resource, the book Listen, Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore. To get 20 percent off put Newyear in at the checkout when using the link. Offer is good through to January 9th and is available for the paperbook and ebook copies. The book is filled with hundreds of real-life examples from parents using Hand in Hand Parenting. Enjoy! Get in Touch! We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.  Sign up for Hand in Hand's Monthly Newsletter here You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com   

This week on Mom Talk Radio, Dr. William Sears and Erin Sears Basile, Co-Authors of Dr. Sears T5 Wellness Plan, share tips for getting through flu season. Spotlight on Moms features Jackie Leverton of TotOnThePot.com. Dr. Jay Rabinowitz, author of Cute Kidbits: Funny Converstations Kids Share with Their Pediatrician, shares funny encounters and tips for trips to the pediatrician. Patty Wipfler, author of LISTEN: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, shares tips for family wellbeing. Devorah Blachor, author of The Feminist’s Guide to Raising a Little Princess: How to Raise a Girl Who’s Authentic, Joyful, and Fearless – Even If She Refuses to Wear Anything but a Pink Tutu, shares her inspiration for her book and what she hopes readers will take away.

  It's the season to be...making rituals? What is a Ritual Anyway? Elle asks this week are rituals the same as routine and is implementing them just a lot of extra work? Abigail mentions some family rituals that may already be in place in a family and that will become meaningful even if they are (currently) under the radar. We look at what rituals are, at their heart, how rituals can be so very connecting for family, and how Special Time can be viewed as a regular family ritual through the holidays and beyond, to build long-lasting bonds and closeness between adults and the children they care for. This week's podcast ends with a powerful story of a ritual created one Christmas season many years ago, which has come to define a family's holidays. Come join us and listen to some soothing stories and support in your parenting. Elle and Abigail wish you all well for the holidays. Giveaways: Elle mentioned two giveaways this week, and the details are right here. In time for the holidays, we're giving you a free download to the chapter on Special Time from Listen, Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Click here for Free Chapter on Special Time If you have to Listen already, try this video series on Special Time as “10-minute Tool” which also comes with a checklist you can use to keep your Special Time on track. Get in Touch! We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Elle and Abigail would love. You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter    0000003E 0000003E 0000470E 0000470E 000D41AC 000D41AC 00007EF6 00007EF6 000D41AC 000D41AC

What are you grateful for now? That’s the question Abigail poses to Elle this episode. We’ll be talking about how we feel about being thankful during the thankful season, what happens if it feels difficult, and how we can inspire gratitude rather than demand it from our children? Feelings about gratitude are often triggered around the holidays. In this episode, Abigail and Elle share ideas for: Promoting true gratitude in the family Making space to see and hear your child as they are and monitor your connection How to let children offload trusting they will go back to center Special Time is a great tool for promoting gratitude. Find out how it works or deepen your knowledge with this free chapter on Special Time from our book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.  We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter  You can listen to this episode and every episode on iTunes. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves... :::::::::: Patty Wipfler is the Hand in Hand Parenting Founder and Program Director. Her 40 years of work with parents and children has given rise to Parenting by Connection, a simple but powerful parenting approach that nurtures the parent-child connection. Her Hand in Hand team trains parent leaders in the US and 10 other countries, and offers accessible support for the vital work of parenting. With co-author Tosha Schore, she has written the book, Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. And Her Listening to Children booklets have sold over 800,000 copies in English, Spanish, and 10 other languages. She is the mother of two sons, and grandmother to three. What you'll hear in this episode: •    Active listening and how it helps people notice how they feel about their own experiences •     How being listened to and being able to sort through feelings can help activate problem solving. •    The impact of our own childhood experiences on how we perceive challenges in our children's lives •    Parenting by connection and its relationship with positive discipline. •    Influencing and using presence, setting limits to encourage better behavior. •    How to hold space for your child who is emotionally elevated and let them deal with big feelings •    Letting your child feel the feelings and its impact on the healing process •    The size of the trigger relative to the depth of hurt – helping your child navigate big feelings •    Emotional upset as efficiently releasing tension •    Listening partnerships and how they can alleviate parenting stress and facilitate better parenting •    Emotional projects: ongoing parenting challenges and how to address them What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage is a human being's birthright to be joyfully courageous. Joyful courage means to me what a one year old will sometimes do to pull themselves up so they can stand up next to a table or as a toddler is trying to walk across the room it's like they don't care what happens, they are just going to try it and they are proud of themselves as they do it. I think it's the attitude towards life that we are born with, that we get to keep if we aren't hurt too badly. Sometimes you have to work on hurt to get your birthright back. Resources: Listen: 5 simple tools for meeting your every day parenting challenges  Where to find Patty: Hand in Hand Parenting  i Instagram l Facebook l Twitter l Youtube    :::::::::: Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves... :::::::::: Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!