Doc's Dumb Dumb of the Day

$7.00 doesn't seem like much, but it was enough for 51-year-old Janice Oney of Salisbury, Maryland to take drastic measures. When she didn't get the money she said he owed her, Janice rode off on her bicycle to get a bottle of gasoline, went back, and lit his house on fire. Dang. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After shoplifting $1500 worth of merchandise, including 21 bottles of probiotics, from three different pharmacies, 32-year-old Tyler Jones was pulled over for riding his bike at night without a light. HE thought they wanted him for the thefts, which they did when the first thing he said was "I didn't do it."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A bar in Huntingdon Valley, PA had to deal with a patron, first by kicking him out when he got drunk and disorderly, second by calling the cops when that guy came back with a machete in one hand and a nail gun in the other.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

41-year-old Omalia Medina already had 9 outstanding warrants for various offenses when she was caught with a knife and 8 boxes of ice cream. Must've been a hot day in Boston.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Golf isn't usually considered a "dangerous" sport, but they do things differently in Florida. After becoming aggravated by the slow pace of the pair in front of him, Jason Hughes assaulted one of the golfers and got arrested after trying to leave the scene. He was released on bond with one condition: He can’t play golf. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22-year-old Erin Punton of Northumberland snatched a live seagull after a night at Wetherspoons. It was just sitting there, so she took it home. The next day she took it to a vet, where it tested positive for bird flu. Erin now has the cleanest, most-disinfected home in all of Northumberland.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

36-year-old Stephen Blasetti is a new kind of "folk hero" after taking a joyride on the Hudson River, naked, in a stolen boat. They took him to a local hospital for a psych evaluation but, when the officer guarding him fell asleep, Stephen was able to make a slippery escape.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Christopher Spain wasn't mowing a yard at 8:30 in the morning, instead he had taken a ride on his lawnmower on Florida's Suncoast Parkway. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Closing time at a Planet Fitness in Sarasota, FL got real interesting when a naked man ran through the building, tried to start a fire in the bathroom, climbed up in the ceiling, and tried to elude police by hiding in a tanning bed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shantel Benett-Wyatt made herself a little too conspicuous with a HUGE stuffed animal strapped to the roof of her Ford Explorer in Pasco, WA. Police were looking for just such a vehicle after a woman tried using a machete on a man in a city park, then ran him over and broke his leg. Sheesh.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jonathan Jacoby wanted a better view of the ocean from his home on Nantucket Island, so he had trees blocking that view cut down. They were his neighbor's trees. She's mad, and suing, and Jonathan was arrested because you can't do that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30-year-old Tony Roe was in court for sentencing on drug charges when he was caught trying to deal drugs with another convict. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For his 57th birthday, Jonathan Winslow celebrated by stealing the Conch Tour Train in Key West, FL, driving it to the famous Southernmost Point Buoy, picking up several passengers along the way, and wrapped it all up by getting arrested. Meth may or may not have been involved. Happy Birthday, Jonathan. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new law targets anyone going faster than 100 mph with a penalty of up to 30 days in jail, a $500 fine, or both. The new law took effect at 12:01 a.m., the first offender was caught at 12:03 a.m. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

27-year-old Benjamin Kidd, the victim of today's Dumb-Dumb, could use your help.Follow the link for Ben's GoFundMe Now, for Patches Magickbeans (yes, they tell us that's his legal name). He's a 34-year-old man in hot water for driving the van that hit equipment Ben and another worker were on inside a tunnel in Two Harbors, MN. Troopers, to NO ONE'S surprise, found drugs in the vehicle and "Patches" freely admitted to taking psychedelic mushrooms and an edible. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a fight with his wife 4 days prior, police discovered an unnamed 44-year-old man "staying" in someone's Davenport, FL home to avoid her. When police arrived the man was preparing supper and getting ready for a bath. "Sure, make yourself right at home."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A 42-year-old man, whose legal name is Loony John Franklin Toon, disappeared onto a golf course Friday night after a police chase. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boy, was THIS guy surprised when 36-year-old Kristin Spearman, his ex, delivered a marriage license showing they were married. She had pulled a fast one with an area pastor and a county clerk, now she's in jail. We don't have much hope this marriage will last.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jose Perez of Salt Lake City was arrested after lunch with a buddy took an unexpected turn. Jose had gotten it into his head that his friend was a werewolf and felt he needed to take appropriate actions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

72-year-old Samuel Thomas of St. Petersburg, FL has called 911 647 times to complain about his neighbors, and that's in just the last 6 months. Records show Sam has called 911 16,000 times in the last five years.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19-year-old Cody Mallon learned the hard way that just because the prison's closed doesn't mean the locks don't work. He also learned you shouldn't trespass in a closed prison, alone, in the middle of the night.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

43-year-old Shanna Tognarelli led police on a high-speed chase before driving into someone's backyard and jumping in their in-ground swimming pool. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A driver in Denver, CO tried to flee the scene of an accident with a police officer in their car. The cop had gotten in to shut of the vehicle's engine when they found the driver unresponsive behind the wheel. When that driver woke up, all hell broke loose.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Walmart customer in Arizona was trying to buy 9 avocados at self-checkout. Instead of punching in 9, they punched in 999 and freaked when they thought Walmart was trying to rip them off. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

23-year-old John Robinson was going to be late for his Spirit Airlines flight from Detroit to L.A. His solution for delaying the plane's departure was ill-advised, and illegal as all get-out.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a night out in St. Petersburg, FL 31-year-old Andrew Davison from Statesboro, GA needed a ride home. When he saw a cop car with flashing lights, he hopped in the back seat and told the officer he "wanted a ride home." Andrew got a ride, just not home. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Richard Pruneda got a DUI in Eddyville, Kentucky over Memorial Day Weekend. His car was impounded by the country sheriff and he spent the night in detention. The next day he bonded out and asked to get some items from his car. He realizes not that was a mistake.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A first date with 20-year-old Mazyar Azarbonyad ended with a high-speed chase, 5 wrecked police cars, 7 injured police, and some jail time.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Erica Muzzy resigned her position with the Sheriff's Department after recent events, events she knew were illegal like having a fake tag on her motorcycle and uploading videos to her social media accounts of "reckless stunt riding on public roads." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kenda Hess had a warrant out for her arrest, so when cops pulled her over she pretended to be her sister, Koty. Koty also had a warrant out so Kenda was arrested anyway.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An unnamed male burglary and theft suspect climbed 80 feet up a tree trying to not be arrested. It took cops 8 hours to talk him down. Talk about delaying the inevitable.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A bank employee tried to sue his employer after being fired for being naked from the waist down during an online virtual work meeting. For the record, it is SUPER creepy for any "professional" to be 1/2 naked during a work call. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It wasn't so much the chip, but rather the beer Darin Deilkes grabbed after eating the chip that got him in trouble. Video of the act in a Florida bar made its way to Darin's parole officer. Darin's not supposed to even be in a bar, much less drink any alcohol. The violation of his probation requirements got him (re)arrested last week.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Police questioned a bridge jumper after he was rescued by emergency crews, including a fireboat and the Coast Guard. His reason for jumping off the Cambie Street Bridge left authorities less than impressed.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

William Mullin McLeod Jr. was out and about, yelling at everyone and no one, in nothing but his underwear and shoes. When cops asked for ID William told them he was Superman ... then he said he was God. Neither turned out to be true.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Prison guards at Pococi Penitentiary spotted a fence-jumper the other night. It was a cat, but strapped TO that cat were packages of drugs. The cat was captured but not detained. The delivery was not made.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Johnnie Norman wanted to surprise his potato-chip-loving wife for her birthday. She was surprised all right. Johnnie bought 30 small bags of potato chips and asked the hotel to spread them on the bed before they arrived. He didn't ask them to open the bags and dump the chips, they did that for free.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Who knew the devil shopped at Walmart? A woman caught shoplifting told authorities the devil, yes, THE devil told her to buy the items for someone else. The devil could not be reached for comment.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

L.A. resident Michael Duarte returned home one night to discover a stranger in his bed.That was just the tip of the iceberg. What the stranger did BEFORE climbing into bed, naked, is what's getting everyone's attention. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Male, 24, looking for a new roommate. That's what happens when your previous roommate steals your food, has an allergic reaction, then wants YOU to pay his medical bill. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The McGirr family ran up a $200 tab at the Horse And Jockey Pub in Tideswell, England, paid their bill and left. Management got the impression the family left without paying and took their beef to social media, including videos and photos of Peter and Ann McGirr and their kids. Except the HAD paid, then they SUED.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

38-year-old Gordon Pierce owed someone $20,000. His plan to pay it back was a long-shot. (HA!) He dragged an 800 pound cannon from a park, cut it up, and delivered it to his drug dealer. The dealer didn't want it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.