Doc's Dumb Dumb of the Day

Kasper Lincoln is just a big kid at heart. After he'd had a few "adult" beverages, he borrowed a child's battery-powered toy jeep and went for a ride to get a Slurpee. He found out the hard way you can STILL get a DUI, even behind the wheel of a pink Barbie Jeep.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Cianci may have found the hack for not having to attend any more weddings. He got drunk at a reception in Connoquenessing, PA and, when the bartender cut him off, John started swinging. The first person he hit was the bride. The BRIDE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Quickly putting distance between you and the crime you just committed is usually "best practice," unless you're really hungry and need a Frosty.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When police decide they're going to arrest you, they don't really care what you're up to at the time. Alec Bogus was in a mud bath at Indian Hot Springs in Colorado when cops made their move. Then he made HIS move and got away ... for a little while.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

They wouldn't let him cut in line at the grocery store, that's it. That was enough for 65-year-old Daniel Kenel to attack them in the parking lot and shoot them both in the face with bug spray. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ronald Jackson found out the hard way you do NOT get a cash reward for turning yourself in. He's mad that Crime Stoppers denied him the $500 reward after surrendering to police in Macon, Georgia.The devil's in the fine print.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Michael Hudak had a key to his neighbor's house, in case of emergency. When that neighbor returned home after an extended vacation, a $16k Rolex was missing. Police found out Michael had pawned it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

49-year-old Jason Brooks tried to nonchalantly retrieve his downed drone from someone's backyard in Lutz, Florida. We're thinking he was pretty anxious considering all the drugs attached to his drone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's hard to pull off the "not me" claim when you're standing right there. The driver of a car that slammed into a home's retaining wall told police someone else stole his car and crashed it. The K-9 alerted otherwise and the driver, not his imaginary friend, was arrested for DUI.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Drem Benjamin traveled to her cheating ex-boyfriend's house and trashed his truck with a crowbar.Problem #1, it wasn't the right house. Problem #2, that meant it wasn't the right truck. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Marcia Morgan of St. Petersburg, FL actually got arrested for this. Police found her decorating a neighbor's car with toilet paper while dressed as a giant hot dog. Yes, alcohol was involved.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jasmin Hernandez has a lead foot, but not a valid driver's license or insurance. She was busted for going 74 in a 35, and her reason was less than satisfactory.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

These didn't happen on the same day, 'cause it's best to pace yourself. Ryan Bunting seems to have an issue with anyone in a uniform. First, he mooned first responders who were answering the call for a fire. 2 days later he refused to leave a home and fought with cops while being arrested. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

51-year-old Anthony Marzola was arrested for wielding a dagger and confronting a landscaper who was just trying to mow a lawn. Oddly, Anthony was dress in a Court Jester's costume at the time. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a fight with her ex-boyfriend, 31-year-old Stephanie Carlquist got revenge by totaling his car. The glitter in the air vents was our particular favorite. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bello Azees was arrested in Nigeria for faking his own kidnapping. He needed money and, since his family had money, he thought they'd pay to get him back. It didn't go as planned.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yes, drugs were involved last week when a DoorDash driver ran his vehicle into a tree while making a delivery. He poured fuel on the fire (literally) by lighting the car on fire and making a run for it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rashawn Scott pretended to pull over, but took off for a high-speed chase. Authorities ended things with stop sticks and found out later Rashawn had been on Facebook Live during the chase.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yes, 47-year-old Kipp Polston was driving through Nebraska naked. That actually turned out to be the least of his worries.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lisa Cleaver didn't have the patience to wait for a ride after being released from the Livingston Parish, LA Detention Center. First she tried to steal a car from the parking lot, and unmarked Sheriff's car. That didn't work so instead she took off in a Department of Public Works truck. She was re-arrested 2 hours later.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eric Lord either doesn't realize there's more than one bank in the world, or he just really wanted to go back to jail. While on supervised release for a previous robbery, Eric tried robbing the same bank again.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

$7.00 doesn't seem like much, but it was enough for 51-year-old Janice Oney of Salisbury, Maryland to take drastic measures. When she didn't get the money she said he owed her, Janice rode off on her bicycle to get a bottle of gasoline, went back, and lit his house on fire. Dang. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After shoplifting $1500 worth of merchandise, including 21 bottles of probiotics, from three different pharmacies, 32-year-old Tyler Jones was pulled over for riding his bike at night without a light. HE thought they wanted him for the thefts, which they did when the first thing he said was "I didn't do it."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A bar in Huntingdon Valley, PA had to deal with a patron, first by kicking him out when he got drunk and disorderly, second by calling the cops when that guy came back with a machete in one hand and a nail gun in the other.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

41-year-old Omalia Medina already had 9 outstanding warrants for various offenses when she was caught with a knife and 8 boxes of ice cream. Must've been a hot day in Boston.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Golf isn't usually considered a "dangerous" sport, but they do things differently in Florida. After becoming aggravated by the slow pace of the pair in front of him, Jason Hughes assaulted one of the golfers and got arrested after trying to leave the scene. He was released on bond with one condition: He can’t play golf. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22-year-old Erin Punton of Northumberland snatched a live seagull after a night at Wetherspoons. It was just sitting there, so she took it home. The next day she took it to a vet, where it tested positive for bird flu. Erin now has the cleanest, most-disinfected home in all of Northumberland.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

36-year-old Stephen Blasetti is a new kind of "folk hero" after taking a joyride on the Hudson River, naked, in a stolen boat. They took him to a local hospital for a psych evaluation but, when the officer guarding him fell asleep, Stephen was able to make a slippery escape.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Christopher Spain wasn't mowing a yard at 8:30 in the morning, instead he had taken a ride on his lawnmower on Florida's Suncoast Parkway. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Closing time at a Planet Fitness in Sarasota, FL got real interesting when a naked man ran through the building, tried to start a fire in the bathroom, climbed up in the ceiling, and tried to elude police by hiding in a tanning bed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shantel Benett-Wyatt made herself a little too conspicuous with a HUGE stuffed animal strapped to the roof of her Ford Explorer in Pasco, WA. Police were looking for just such a vehicle after a woman tried using a machete on a man in a city park, then ran him over and broke his leg. Sheesh.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jonathan Jacoby wanted a better view of the ocean from his home on Nantucket Island, so he had trees blocking that view cut down. They were his neighbor's trees. She's mad, and suing, and Jonathan was arrested because you can't do that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30-year-old Tony Roe was in court for sentencing on drug charges when he was caught trying to deal drugs with another convict. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For his 57th birthday, Jonathan Winslow celebrated by stealing the Conch Tour Train in Key West, FL, driving it to the famous Southernmost Point Buoy, picking up several passengers along the way, and wrapped it all up by getting arrested. Meth may or may not have been involved. Happy Birthday, Jonathan. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new law targets anyone going faster than 100 mph with a penalty of up to 30 days in jail, a $500 fine, or both. The new law took effect at 12:01 a.m., the first offender was caught at 12:03 a.m. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

27-year-old Benjamin Kidd, the victim of today's Dumb-Dumb, could use your help.Follow the link for Ben's GoFundMe Now, for Patches Magickbeans (yes, they tell us that's his legal name). He's a 34-year-old man in hot water for driving the van that hit equipment Ben and another worker were on inside a tunnel in Two Harbors, MN. Troopers, to NO ONE'S surprise, found drugs in the vehicle and "Patches" freely admitted to taking psychedelic mushrooms and an edible. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a fight with his wife 4 days prior, police discovered an unnamed 44-year-old man "staying" in someone's Davenport, FL home to avoid her. When police arrived the man was preparing supper and getting ready for a bath. "Sure, make yourself right at home."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A 42-year-old man, whose legal name is Loony John Franklin Toon, disappeared onto a golf course Friday night after a police chase. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boy, was THIS guy surprised when 36-year-old Kristin Spearman, his ex, delivered a marriage license showing they were married. She had pulled a fast one with an area pastor and a county clerk, now she's in jail. We don't have much hope this marriage will last.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jose Perez of Salt Lake City was arrested after lunch with a buddy took an unexpected turn. Jose had gotten it into his head that his friend was a werewolf and felt he needed to take appropriate actions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

72-year-old Samuel Thomas of St. Petersburg, FL has called 911 647 times to complain about his neighbors, and that's in just the last 6 months. Records show Sam has called 911 16,000 times in the last five years.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19-year-old Cody Mallon learned the hard way that just because the prison's closed doesn't mean the locks don't work. He also learned you shouldn't trespass in a closed prison, alone, in the middle of the night.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.