Doing What Works

Everything's derivative, but not everything needs to be attributed. Still with us? You'll enjoy this edition of Doing What Works!Here are your show notes…“To My Grown-Up Son,” by Alice E. Chase, played in my head constantly as Katie grew up.I once accidentally stole a passage from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.“I'll have what she's having” is from When Harry Met Sally…Just Do It!If you gave credit every time it was due you'd be insufferable. Aim for the golden mean.Dan Savage is an oft-quoted, oft-attributed source.

“Two men looked out through prison bars. One saw mud. The other, stars.” This edition of Doing What Works is an ode to Maureen's penchant for stargazing.Here are your show notes…Seth Godin, Tim Urban, and Scott Adams are a few of my favorite people to keep up with.Jane Brody says people often look at questions as attacks.The Let Them Theory is a useful way of looking at the world.It was never between you and them.

You might not know if you want to be friends with someone after a few seconds of meeting, but you probably know if you don't! This edition of Doing What Works is permission to trust that feeling.Here are your show notes…Jane Brody suggests you trust your knee-jerk impressions of people.Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out!

You don't want to live in the past, but why not mine it for its treasures? We'll be your guide in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Are you drifting through life?Work can be a form of procrastination.Urgent versus important!It's only too late if you don't start now.Successful people live by this question.

Being willing to try things is great. Being sure the next thing is the secret to life might mean closets full of gadgets you never use. This is the smart shopping edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Confirmation bias is the tendency to process information by looking for, or interpreting, information that is consistent with your existing beliefs.A low-probability, high-consequence event is a risk you don't necessarily want to take.Derek Sivers says if you trust the source you don't need the argument.We contain multitudes.Garrison Keillor says what keeps us going is the hope tomorrow will be different.

Maybe finding the perfect anything -- the job, the apartment, the person -- isn't the point. Maybe the point, as we suggest in this edition of Doing What Works, is to get better at adjusting your sails as you go.Here are your show notes…What's standing between you and the life you want?Callings author Gregg Levoy has had to cultivate patience on the order of years for callings to come through.You wake up the brain by quieting the thinking mind.There's no settling down without some settling for.Choose the bigger life.

Not sure what you want to do with the rest of your life? There are ways of finding out! We show you a few of them in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…We are blind to our own brilliance.The Riverview Theater is a delightful venue in Minneapolis.If you have difficulty deciding on a career path, you might be a scanner.

If enough things go wrong at once they're useful distractions from the others. This edition of Doing What Works is a shame-busting look at shame.Here are your show notes…A Million Miles in a Thousand Years introduced us to the concept of memorable scenes.“I have spent my whole life scared.” That's from Breaking Bad.

Everyone you meet gives you another window on yourself. This edition of Doing What Works is an invitation to make the most of it.Here are your show notes…Dating and data are related, linguistically.We grow in relation to others.Do you really want to marry someone you'd dread being stuck in traffic with?

Good stories don't magically appear on the page. Someone grinds them out. In this edition of Doing What Works I'll tell you how I wrote my second book, why I didn't want to, and why I'm glad I did.Here are your show notes…Left for Dead: A Second Life after Vietnam is the memoir of Jon Hovde.Staying the Course: A Runner's Toughest Race is the memoir of Dick Beardsley.Platoon helped me get in the mood to write Left for Dead.There's a difference between a story and a sequence of events; the writers of South Park know!There's no such thing as writer's block.The Summer of Ordinary Ways “wrings intensity,” as one person put it, “from the seemingly mundane.”

Loss, grief, even a pause you didn't ask for. This edition of Doing What Works is a search for better ways of appreciating what you have.Here are your show notes…Why do Jeep drivers have rubber ducks on their dashboards?The Panorama of the City of New York.How Tim Urban stops tossing and turning.Hedonic adaptation is why you aren't happier.Outer weather versus inner weather.

Be sparing with promises and save your energy for keeping them. We examine the stakes in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…The Four Agreements is billed as a practical guide to personal freedom.It isn't a sin to refrain from making a vow.Twenty percent for new business.The human heart demands an adventure.“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?”

Do you consider yourself a contrarian? If you do, then we have an encore edition of the show for you! If you don't, that probably makes you a contrarian -- so we have a show for you, too. Here are your show notes… The Secret was wildly popular. How do you feel about it? Martha Stewart is wildly successful. Are you happy for her? Gretchen Rubin thinks enthusiasm is a form of social courage. Do you agree? Daniel Stern's character in City Slickers said getting married meant he wasn't a goofball anymore. Does marriage confer status? Let me fall if I need to fall. The person I become will catch me. We grow in connection with others.

Have you ever been so distraught you were surprised you could laugh at something, anything, even for a moment? It's one of many milestones we encourage you to savor in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…“By the end I was deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards.”Can you think of your challenge as a lucky fin?

What does a forty-hour fast have in common with an ankle injury or even a vacation? We're so glad you asked! The answer's in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Supposed fasting benefits!The supposed doctor within.Interruptions are God's plan.Dad has family arrive at the airport before it's even built!A meltdown in Trader Joe's.August Turak says the most difficult thing he ever assigned students was to sit in silence.Conor Grennan is the author of Little Princes.

If you've ever been accused of being too sensitive, undoubtedly by someone who's too judgmental, this edition of Doing What Works is for you!Here are your show notes…Pamie Ribon hails from the world of roller derby.Crying is a release.NurtureShock offers new thinking about children.When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead author Jerry Weintraub suggested you not ask colleagues how they're doing.

Advice is easier to take when you've asked for that, but what about the unsolicited variety? We give it careful consideration in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Story is a book about not only screenwriting but how to live.If you trust the source you don't need the argument.The Let Them Theory will show you how to stop wasting energy on things you can't control.

It's impossible to love people exactly as much as they do you, to get paid exactly as much as your time is worth, to be rewarded with cosmic goodies commensurate with your good deeds. We answer the “How lopsided is too lopsided?” question in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…The peace you feel without their presence in your life is worth being the villain in their story.Once you realize your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.Successful people cut their losses early.I've got a song. I carry it with me and I sing it loud. If it gets me nowhere I'll go there proud.

Katie sprained her ankle just before Christmas, and navigating NYC -- first on crutches, then with a knee scooter -- has been awful. And wonderful! This edition of Doing What Works is quite a ride.Here are your show notes…Are you spending time worrying about how not to hurt someone's feelings who deserves to get those feelings hurt?

Reliable heat, hot water on demand, level surfaces. These are a few of my favorite things, and I no longer take them for granted. What about you? How would you like a gratitude-packed edition of Doing What Works?Here are your show notes…Barbara Sher said the passage of time drives you crazy when you know you're not using it right.Do you take technology for granted?Hedonic adaptation is a way of taking things for granted.

If you feel like you have more than your share of winceworthy moments, this edition of Doing What Works is for you!Here are your show notes…We tend to romanticize the road not taken.A Million Miles in a Thousand Years!The Other Side of the Mountain was a touchstone for my sisters and me.Sliding Doors was a touchstone for people Katie's age.Choose the bigger life.

You finally pull off something you're not only proud of but think will change the trajectory of your career, and that doesn't happen. Now what? We're glad you asked! And we think you'll find this edition of Doing What Works as thought-provoking as we do.Here are your show notes…“I have no cherished outcomes.”“We have a right only to our labor, not to the fruits of our labor.”Jack Canfield's yellow notebook story!The karaoke scene in My Best Friend's Wedding that's a great example of committing to the bit.

Don't do something only because you started; that's a terrible reason. It's one of our guiding principles, we'll cover a few more in this edition of Doing What Works, and we'll inspire you to think about your own.Here are your show notes…“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."“Choose the bigger life."“Making the same mistake over and over again is called a decision.”“What is the price of admission?”

Where does your mind go when it wanders? If those reveries skew negative we have some ideas for you in this encore edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… “I Worried” is a poem by Mary Oliver. Improv Wisdom might inspire you to commit to the bit. Mel Robbins suggests you ask yourself this: “What if it all works out?”

Is it possible to move through the world without lying? Do you bristle at people who claim they do? And are white lies really that innocent? We do our best to give you honest answers to those questions in this encore edition of Doing What Works. We also inspire you to evaluate the quality of your relationships by how grounded they are in truth. Here are your show notes… “Be impeccable with your word” is the first agreement in The Four Agreements. The Honest Truth About Dishonesty might inspire you to realize you lie more than you think. Does wearing fake designer sunglasses prime you to be dishonest in other ways? White lies are a gateway to bigger lies.

Being wrong gets a bad rap, and our producer thinks this exploration of that topic is the best edition of Doing What Works yet. It's worth a listen just to hear Katie's take on what's at stake!Here are your show notes…Have you been inserting trash bags the wrong way?Ten thousand ways that won't work is what some of us call…not failing!How Not to Be Wrong is the right book to read if you really, really hate being wrong.

A name is often a destiny. In this edition of Doing What Works we suggest you proceed accordingly.Here are your show notes…The story behind “A Boy Named Sue.”“Play Me” was featured in Fleishman Is in Trouble.“I Got a Name” was featured in Somewhere in Queens.“A Horse with No Name” is not, shall we say, universally loved.Adding “in progress” to the name of a project is bad juju.Art is never finished, only abandoned.Wabi sabi is the beauty of imperfect things.Architect Sarah Susanka uses fruit to illustrate what's memorable.

Katie broke a mirror on a Friday the 13th seven years ago and is celebrating the end of a run of supposedly bad luck. Because really, who knows? This edition of Doing What Works examines how we cope with the unknowable.Here are your show notes…Buddy the Elf rides the escalator.What were the odds you'd be conceived?How birds see the world.All the religions of the world seem to agree that dreams are one of the channels through which the gods traditionally speak to mortals.Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

There's a wood stove in your basement that you want to drag up the stairs and out the door of your house. Is that something you attempt by yourself? We help you with decisions like this in this edition of Doing What Works.No show notes this time!

You can help keep rats at bay by more carefully rinsing your recyclables, and you can get more ideas for making the world a better place in this edition of Doing What Works!Here are your show notes…The NYC Rat Pack!How bad for the environment can throwing away one plastic water bottle be?

Financial security. Your person. The bad habit you finally break. In this edition of Doing What Works we wonder what would happen if you finally got what you want, whether you should make peace with not getting it -- and how those two scenarios might be related.Here are your show notes…The quest to catch a flightless bird!Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.Was Sisyphus at peace with his plight?When you're single, things happen to you. When you're married, things slow to a crawl.Bewitched aired for eight seasons on ABC.We grow in connection with others.

You'll never be sorry you took good care of yourself, so why do you have to force yourself to work out or eat well or even get enough sleep? If it's because there's usually something more fun you could be doing instead, why do some of us have to force ourselves to have fun? Questions worth pondering in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Morning Guy wishes Night Guy would have gone to bed at a reasonable hour.“Rushmore Cave” is our family's way of saying, “Try it. You'll like it!”No swimsuit required!

Do you consider yourself a contrarian? If you do, then we have a show for you! If you don't, that probably makes you a contrarian -- so we have a show for you, too.Here are your show notes…The Secret was wildly popular. How do you feel about it?Martha Stewart is wildly successful. Are you happy for her?Gretchen Rubin thinks enthusiasm is a form of social courage. Do you agree?Daniel Stern's character in City Slickers said getting married meant he wasn't a goofball anymore. Does marriage confer status?Let me fall if I need to fall. The person I become will catch me.We grow in connection with others.

Do you recline your seat on an airplane? Do you crack jokes in a cramped elevator? Do you pressure your little girl to kiss Grandpa when she recoils at the thought? We bet you'll find this edition of Doing What Works relatable!Here are your show notes…The Impossible Institute's Dan Gregory is the co-author of Selfish, Scared and Stupid.

The latest version of Tour Guide Katie joins us for this encore edition of Doing What Works, and we dare you to find a better example of doing what works. Here are your show notes…The 1939 and 1964 New York World's Fairs captured Katie's imagination.  Jane's Walk!

Your physical possessions. Your financial history. Your digital files of (thousands of?) photos. It's the spring cleaning encore edition of Doing What Works! Here are your show notes… Bob Culbertson plays the Chapman Stick.

Justice, love, even shame. There are themes running through our lives, and in this edition of Doing What Works we show you why they're worth examining.Here are your show notes…How The War of Art's Steven Pressfield discovered the themes of his life.Jonathan Fields: “If you're tethered to a toxic person, you can't meditate or journal that away.”

Every time I sit down to write I think, “I've got nothing.” The same with the show: “There's nothing left to cover.” Katie knows I power through anyway -- she helps! -- and we share how in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Rick Rubin's The Creative Act might help you trust what you already know.Steven Pressfield might help you defeat Resistance, but the struggle will be daily.The Rookie might help you remember it isn't too late.Anne Lamott might inspire you to see the value in not-at-all-perfect first drafts.

When someone who self-identifies as frugal offers to buy you a sixteen-dollar pretzel, wouldn't you be touched? Katie was, but she was also sad. That was nine years ago, she's still sad, and this edition of Doing What Works is a study in wistful.Here are your show notes…What is a weird kind of sad?Are you ready for kindergarten?

What strikes you about your scrapbooks, journal entries, or photo albums? This edition of Doing What Works is an ode to the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.Here are your show notes…Even if you don't keep a journal, your body remembers trauma.Are you a Rememberer or a Forgetter?Like rivers, people change.

Letting people be is a superpower, one that's put to the test when relationships end. We redefine closure in this edition of Doing What Works in the hope pragmatism will prevail.Here are your show notes…Their behavior was your closure, because if they wanted to act differently they would have.Closure is something you give yourself.Like rivers, people change.“There are only two questions people have fought about since the beginning of time: ‘How much do you love me?' and ‘Who's in charge?'”The unsettling secret of lasting love.People act when forced to act.

Volunteer work, donations, even taking in stray animals or people. So many ways to give back to the world. How do you choose where best to spend your time, money, and attention? We have the answer in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…The power of lollipop moments!Dick Bolles said if you search for half your vision with half your heart, you fail before you start.   Debbie Millman suggests you start with a big, fat lump in your throat.Boys State is on Apple TV+.“Wake Me Up” is my Katie-goes-to-college song.No character transformation, no story.

A thirst for useless information, a quest to be right, the willingness to be wrong. We follow our curiosity about curiosity in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Store things at the store.Are you a Rememberer or a Forgetter?Two movies on one screen.Advice from Keanu Reeves for when someone mistreats you.The magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding.

Blind spots are, by definition, difficult to challenge. Katie and I rise to the occasion in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…Do you remember the “Marine Biologist” scene from Seinfeld?“Don't make assumptions” is one of the agreements in The Four Agreements.David Foster Wallace's This Is Water might inspire you to be less judgmental.The “thirty seconds or fewer” kindness rule.High levels of positive illusion can help you sustain long-term romantic relationships.“The Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect is a phenomenon where individuals trust media information despite recognizing its inaccuracies in their areas of expertise.”

Happily ever after isn't guaranteed, and closure's often elusive. True in movies, true in life. Some of us are more comfortable with ambiguity than others, and that's why hijinks ensue in this edition of Doing What Works. Can't say more without spoiling the ending!Here are your show notes…Beautiful Country is a beautiful book with a beautiful ending.Cheryl Strayed's Wild became a movie I ruined by knowing too much about how it was made.  Nothing could spoil Friday Night Lights for me; no one spoiled Hamilton for Katie.The Mary Tyler Moore Show had a perfect ending, as did Staying the Course and Left for Dead.  Steven Pressfield has become a cheerleader for creative types.

Ever since Katie made a solo bike trip from Brooklyn to Albany and back she's been plotting her next big adventure, and she'll take you on a new ride in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…“Choose the bigger life.”Lightning McQueening bugs, where your face is the windshield, is from Cars.

I'm a sucker for anyone who doubles over with laughter at my observations, waits patiently for me to get ready, or talks me down off a ledge that's all of four inches high. What about you? Love is Katie's core value, one reason she's the perfect host for a discussion of love in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…“Love is the quality of attention we pay to things.”Jonathan Haidt says your attention is the most precious thing you have.Laughter is glue.Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness says love is action.

Where does your mind go when it wanders? If those reveries skew negative we have some ideas for you in this edition of Doing What Works.Here are your show notes…   “I Worried” is a poem by Mary Oliver.  Improv Wisdom might inspire you to commit to the bit.  Mel Robbins suggests you ask yourself this: “What if it all works out?”

Katie successfully weathered her quarter-life crisis, and now she does her best to help me with a lifelong crisis of my own. This edition of Doing What Works is a study in contrast we hope you'll find relatable.Here are your show notes…“There should be more rituals!”Can you relate to what Gregg Levoy calls a low-grade, background anxiety about death?Seth Godin suggests you ask whether something is a problem or a situation.When he watches video of the 1982 Boston Marathon, Dick Beardsley still hopes for a different outcome.What Color Is Your Parachute? author Dick Bolles said our gifts are meant to be shared.

Is it possible to move through the world without lying? Do you bristle at people who claim they do? And are white lies really that innocent? We do our best to give you honest answers to those questions in this edition of Doing What Works. We also inspire you to evaluate the quality of your relationships by how grounded they are in truth.Here are your show notes…“Be impeccable with your word” is the first agreement in The Four Agreements.The Honest Truth About Dishonesty might inspire you to realize you lie more than you think.Does wearing fake designer sunglasses prime you to be dishonest in other ways?White lies are a gateway to bigger lies.

There's more to life than speeding it up. So much more! And in this encore edition of Doing What Works we'll give you a list of inaction items.Here are your show notes…Humanity isn't a hack. Silence is the only true religion. Erma Bombeck wrote a lot of clipworthy columns.