If I Speak

Is marriage like an island, or more of an open house? Ash talks about state-sanctioned relationships with memoirist Jeremy Atherton Lin, whose new book Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told, is out now. Plus, advice for a listener whose money worries aren't shared by her partner. Are you in big trouble? Send us […]

Moya and Ash deal with your dilemmas, including a daughter who wants to give away her inheritance, a scared mum facing up to her prejudice, a singleton wondering if moving home was a mistake, and a renter whose housemate is a total pig. Are you in big trouble? Email us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash wonder what's up with kids these days, thinking about parenting, advertising, social media and anxiety. Plus, advice for a bereaved listener who's furious with her stepmum. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya has an intrusive thought about our need for certainty and Ash responds with an idea about how the internet has polarised our thinking. Plus, advice for a singleton with avoidant tendencies. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya face up to all the ways their smartphone has warped their minds. Plus, advice for a trans woman struggling to interact with the world in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling. Come and see If I Speak in London on 21st May! Final tickets are available now from Dice. Send your […]

What do straight women find attractive? Too many men think the answer is ‘big muscles' says Ash, who has a big theory about sensuality. Plus: what to do when your boss is a bigot. Come and see If I Speak LIVE in London on 21st May! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – […]

Moya has a big theory and you're not going to like it: most of us would rather be told how to live our lives by someone else than work it out ourselves. Could it be? Plus, advice for a broken-hearted student. Seats for our live show in London are going fast! Join Ash, Moya and […]

Ash and Moya confront their feelings after a bad fortnight for feminism, from Katy Perry in space to the Supreme Court's anti-trans ruling. Plus: advice on divorcing parents and compulsive exercising. PSA: We're going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Special guest TBA! Tickets are available from Dice. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com […]

Ash speaks to author Natasha Brown about the big questions raised by her acclaimed second novel Universality, a ‘whydunnit' mystery about identity, class and how we (re)invent ourselves. Plus: a dilemma about selling your soul. PSA: We're going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Tickets are available from Dice. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com […]

Ash and Moya answer a mystery question and wonder if our quest for a life of convenience was a mistake. Plus: advice for a listener dating a much, much older man. PSA: We're going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Stay tuned for tickets next week. Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash offer advice to a special one who's lost everything after renovating a house with their ex. Plus: what if some of us are ‘relationship people' while the rest are better off alone? We're now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash has an intrusive thought that she thinks Moya can help with: make me fun again! Plus advice for a listener navigating the identity politics of the student council. We're now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Nicola Dinan returns to the show to talk about her second novel, Disappoint Me, and respond to Moya's question about how to deal with a partner's past mistakes. Plus, dilemmas about lip filler and bottom surgery. We're now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya has a bone to pick with Ash about Minority Rule and the conversations sparked by her book tour, while posing the big question: why is it so hard to form your own opinions? Plus: what to do when a newly sober friend starts drifting away. We're now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod Send […]

Moya and Ash discuss the uses and abuses of self-care culture and its roots in Black feminism. Plus: how to get over homesickness. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Why did Stormzy delete his pro-Palestine posts just before unveiling a Happy Meal tie-in with McDonald's? Ash asks Moya if big artists are all just businesses in the end. Plus: how to deal with a delusional friend. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

When did we all start ‘getting the ick'? And why does it mainly seem to be women who get it? Ash and Moya unpack the gender politics behind the ‘ick-course'. Plus: when is the right time to have the big money chat with your partner? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

One whole year of If I Speak! Moya and Ash celebrate with an #AMA, tackling your questions on career growth, love songs, role models, Irish politics and whether they're friends in real life. Plus: listener feedback on last week's “return of the slur”. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya respond to a mystery question about femininity with a conversation about desire, agency and sexual politics. Plus: advice for a listener tangled up in their in-laws' finances. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

After hearing the R-word on a comedy podcast, Moya offers an intrusive thought about the limits of language policing. Plus: what to do about a horrible housemate. Send in your questions for If I Speak's birthday AMA episode on 18th February! ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya discuss women's changing faces on screen and the intensifying obsession with ageing. Plus: tough love for a Special One who's getting in their own way. Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya tackle a mailbag full of dilemmas, including a committed couple arguing over money, a daughter considering cutting off her dad, and a student struggling to overcome the trauma of rape. Plus: Ash blushes her way through your emails about gay porn. CW: suicide, rape. Resources: https://thesurvivorstrust.org/support-in-your-area Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music […]

Recorded live at London Podcast Festival last September, Ash and Moya are joined by Yomi Adegoke – author of The List and Slay In Your Lane – to talk about public shaming. Is the era of the online pile-on over? Plus, our audience of special ones help to solve some listener dilemmas. Email your dilemmas […]

What happens when sex becomes an online stunt? Ash and Moya discuss OnlyFans creator Lily Phillips, who challenged herself to have sex with 100 men in one day, and wonder if the radical feminists were right about porn. Plus: advice for a listener struggling to build deeper friendships. Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by […]

What has 2024 taught us? Ash and Moya reflect on a year of discomfort and grief, from personal challenges to political setbacks. Plus: what classic dance track does Ash have stuck in her head? Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash swerve the fuzzy festive feelings in order to get some things off their chest. Plus, advice for a listener who feels trapped in their happy relationship. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash talk to writer and director Amrou Al-Kadhi about their brilliant debut film, Layla, which follows a young drag queen in chaotic pursuit of self-expression. Plus, advice on how to handle a partner with a porn addiction. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

[Updated file!] Moya has a theory for Ash about unhappy couples who will do anything except break up. Why are we sometimes so hesitant to pull the plug? Plus, advice for a special one dealing with guilt after the end of a relationship. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about breaking bad habits, with a frank discussion about open relationships, exercise and disordered eating (content warning). Plus, a listener with a question about cross-racial dating, and verdicts on Gladiator II and GNX. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya has a big theory for Ash about aesthetic trends as a harbinger of the US election results, which prompts a very adult discussion (read: argument) about the purpose of the podcast. Plus a bundle of your Missed Connections, including hotties spotted in Glasgow, Manchester, at the Palestine protest and – where else! – an […]

Ash and Moya tackle another bumper crop of your dilemmas, including a special one who wants to stop mothering her friends, a burned-out student struggling to get back on track, a self-confessed slacker looking for a meaningful career, and an expat looking for laughs. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt […]

Moya and Ash are joined by the authors of Clown World, a new book exposing Andrew Tate's grip on his followers around the world, to talk about why patriarchy is so seductive. Plus, advice for a special one who is drowning under their workload. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt […]

The veil is thin this time of year, so Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about the spirit realm. Plus, neighbourhood cat panics and advice for a listener who can't stand that her friend is a police officer. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya wonder why women still shoulder the burden of housework, even when they're #leaningin to their careers. Plus, a listener who doesn't know how to deal with his cheating ex-partner. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Are you a Black Cat? Or a #cleangirl? Do you have Main Character Energy? Moya has a big theory about the urge to give ourselves new labels. Plus, a listener who feels like her friends and family can't meet her standards. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya channel their inner Clint Eastwoods to lament the rise of trick or treating, and consider how to interact with other people's children. Plus, a listener dealing with confusing feelings after a difficult abortion. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash turn the weapon on themselves with a Mystery Question about the lows of being on the left – haters and losers, pyrrhic victories, strategic balls-ups and the rest. Plus, a listener who's falling out of love just as their partner needs support. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by […]

Inspired by Moya's big move, Ash wonders what the necessary ingredients are to turn a house share into a home. Plus, advice for a listener whose friend is infatuated with her lecturer. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley. Help us build people-powered media: https://novara.media/support

Moya and Ash argue over a big theory about our need for surprise. Has modern life killed off spontaneity in everything from dating to holidays? Plus: advice for a listener who's wondering why an old friend isn't more excited to be his best man. We're sorry about the uneven audio quality for part of the […]

Are you sitting comfortably? Because Moya has come to a big realisation – and some new rules on dating etiquette. Plus, a whole a new batch of your Missed Connections! Get in touch if you recognise any of these objects of our affection. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash are absent this week – but in the meantime, they're preparing for a LIVE recording of the show this Sunday, 15th September, as part of the London Podcast Festival. They'll be joined wise guest Yomi Adegoke, author of The List, to help solve your dilemmas and sort the personal from the political. […]

Does knowing your attachment style make life any easier? Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about our newfound fluency in the language of therapy. Plus: advice for a listener who's becoming estranged from his sister. ONLY TWO WEEKS until our live show at the London Podcast Festival! Join Moya, Ash and special guest Yomi […]

Moya is on the brink of change – but can she trust her gut on the biggest decision of her adult life? Plus, advice for a listener confused about their lifelong lack of sex. You've only got a few weeks to grab your ticket for our live show at the London Podcast Festival on 15th September, […]

Ash and Moya dedicate a whole show to answering your dilemmas! Featuring a woman questioning her age-gap relationship, an infuriating parent who won't budge on politics, a ghosted lover plotting her revenge, a loner who wants to start socialising, and a low-earner who resents her rich friends. You've only got a few weeks to grab […]

Moya has a big theory for Ash – but the script goes out the window when they start talking about the far-right violence engulfing the UK and unpacking their own emotional reactions to English racism. After that: playing matchmaker with the first batch of Missed Connections. Content note: This episode includes discussion of racist language and […]

Prompted by Kendrick's anthemic Drake diss, Ash claims we're living through the summer of the hater. But what does it mean to hate so hard? Plus: a listener who feels rejected by her English in-laws. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Got your tickets for the If I Speak live show yet? We're […]

Moya and Ash butt heads over the lure of individualism and living a political life. Plus: Moya enters her busy-body era with a new segment, Missed Connections! Tell us about the brief encounters you just can't shake, and we will hunt them down and make them bae. Email us your missed connections with as much […]

Moya and Ash debate the power of astrology and explain how they survived their ‘Saturn return' era. Plus: Ash's best anti-procrastination techniques. Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from Kings Place now. Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya are joined by podcast entrepreneur and single mum Renay Richardson to talk about the realities of solo parenting, from being blocked from adopting to the shortage of Black sperm donors. Plus: a harrowing faux pas. Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available […]

Ash has a theory of cool that involves nonchalance, style and timing – but Moya's not so sure. Plus, advice for one listener who wants respect in their situationship, and someone dealing with a newcomer to the family. Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from […]

The return of low rise jeans was a harbinger of something worse: being seriously thin is back in fashion. But why now? Moya and Ash have a Big Theory. Plus: the brown girl moisturising protocol. CW: weight, dieting, eating disorders, cosmetic procedures. Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on […]