Kicking and Screaming Podcast

In this adolescent episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing to Baby Assassins, which is unfortunately not set in the Boss Baby cinematic universe. After revealing a little too much about how she "played" with Barbies as a child, Vanessa counters with another top-notch tale of teenage terrors: Tragedy Girls. But how much does a slasher have in common with an assassin? Why do Vanessa and Elijah always pretend that the titles of the movies are a surprise? And which animals could Elijah confidently Judo throw? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Baby Assassins and Tragedy Girls is instant ramen and spiked prom punch. This episode was brought to you by teen angst. (This episode is also brought to you by our editing software not working) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that was surgically removed from its larger twin, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing to the body horror masterpiece Basket Case. After explaining why Belial is his brother, Elijah counters with the twin Van Damme-sterpiece that is Double Impact. But after an extended hiatus, will Vanessa and Elijah remember how to host the show? Is it possible to have too much Van Damme? And how did Vanessa and Elijah spend their break from the show? Find the answers to all these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Basket Case and Double Impact is a double-double with Mike & Ike's. We're back, baby. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode passed on through generations by word of mouth, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for one of the greats of martial arts cinema, Fist Of Legend. After being utterly derailed by a cat, Vanessa counters with Jayro Bustamante's La Llorona (2019). But what does a vengeful spirit have in common with a martial arts hero? How much will Vanessa cry in this episode? And is it the La Llorona you're thinking of? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Fist Of Legend and La Llorona is sopa mein. This episode was brought to you by undercranking. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this flashback-heavy episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for recent horror favorite Censor. After Vanessa recovers some previously-censored memories of her own, Elijah counters with one of the greatest samurai films of all time: Harakiri. But what does the tragic tale of a down-on-his-luck ronin have to do with a British film censor in the 1980s? Is the world bleaker than ever, or is there cause for optimism? And what games has Vanessa been playing lately? The official snack pairing of Censor and Harakiri is s'mores. This episode was brought to you by class solidarity. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this seafaring episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for Yuen Woo Ping's Red Wolf. After firmly establishing that xylophones are not villainous, Vanessa counters with another tale of death on the high seas: Deep Rising. But besides their nautical settings, how much do these two films really have in common? How are Vanessa and Elijah planning to pay for their new editing equipment? And what's the most cursed Air BnB Vanessa has ever stayed at? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Red Wolf and Deep Rising is baked Alaska with calamari. This episode was brought to you by Goldie the orb weaver. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode best listened to while wearing 3D glasses, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing to the, we'll say it, underrated slasher My Bloody Valentine 3D. After offering to accept any and all challenges to a pickaxe fight, Elijah counters with a film he specifically had underrated: True Legend. But what does the origin story of a martial arts folk hero have in common with a massacre in a mining town? What was Vanessa's earliest intrusive thought? And when are we finally going to get the #VanessaCut? Find the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of My Bloody Valentine 3D and True Legend is a heart-shaped box of liquor-filled chocolates and you have to eat the whole thing in one sitting and then drunk-text someone. This episode was brought to you by executive dysfunction. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode with strong maternal instincts, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for Vietnamese actioner Furie. After establishing that Vanessa has finally entered the “annoying” stage in her journey as a fan of martial arts movies, Vanessa counters with the slasher titan that is Friday the 13th. But what does the summer camp slasher have in common with Furie? Why has it taken so long for them to cover a Friday the 13th movie? And does Pamela Voorhees have superpowers? Get the answers to all of these questions and more in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Furie and Friday the 13th is s'mores made with fancy Vietnamese chocolate. (Probably the brand Marou, which Vanessa and Elijah discovered only after recording) This episode was brought to you by hard-working single moms who do it all. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that also serves as a loving parody of previous episodes of this podcast, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for one of his most-quoted films of all time: Black Dynamite. After talking for longer than you'd expect about boomerangs, Elijah counters with another one of his most-quoted films of all time: The Editor. But can anything really measure up to Black Dynamite? Is Malignant a giallo? Will their cat Kyle successfully stop the recording? Get the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Black Dynamite and The Editor is a waffle in the style of a zeppole and, regrettably, malt liquor mixed with espresso AKA “Homemade Four Loko” This episode was brought to you by boomerangs. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this landmark episode, Vanessa and Elijah cover their first ever listener-submitted double-feature. First up is the fantastically-titled Scott Adkins actioner Avengement. After cursing our reality for being one in which Scott Adkins is not the most successful actor alive, Vanessa and Elijah move on to its perfect horror pairing, (which just so happens to be one of the greatest horror films of the decade) Green Room. How much does a horror movie about punks fighting neo-Nazis have in common with Scott Adkins spin-kicking mobsters? Why are specifically jiu-jitsu guys always looking for a fight? And if Vanessa's such a tough guy, why does Elijah want to kiss her so bad? Find the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Avengement and Green Room is a spiral-cut hot dog topped with pickled egg. This episode was brought to you by friend of the podcast and all around rad person Gareth (@WoodsRunning) who submitted this week's picks! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this howlin' good episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for what is almost definitely the best werewolf New Year's movie, The Wolf Of Snow Hollow. After firmly establishing that Officer John Marshall is not a great guy, Elijah counters with another tale of a small town in the throes of lycanthrope violence, Brotherhood Of The Wolf. But how much does this French period piece really have in common with The Wolf Of Snow Hollow? What are the werewolves metaphors for? And which actor made Vamessa turn into a (horny cartoon) wolf herself? Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of The Wolf Of Snow Hollow and Brotherhood Of The Wolf is Moon Pies and jerky. This episode was brought to you by The Committee For Better Werewolf Martial Arts Films. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that serves primarily as a character study of its two hosts, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for grim samurai masterpiece The Sword Of Doom. After comparing the protagonist to Pinhead, Vanessa pulls a wildcard and pairs it not with Hellraiser, but with The Ritual. But what does being lost in the woods have in common with the journey of a heartless swordsman? What makes David Bruckner's horror so effective? And how did Vanessa land on "Samu-rye"? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for The Sword Of Doom and The Ritual is hot sake and vodka, drunk alternately until you feel introspective. This episode was brought to you by the cursed sword Elijah bought at a garage sale. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that may not be what it seems, Vanessa gives Elijah the unenviable challenge of finding the perfect martial arts movie to pair with John Carpenter's The Thing. After talking about what a hunk MacReady is, Elijah counters with New Dragon Gate Inn. But what does a wuxia film about a power-crazed eunuch have in common with alien shapeshifters? Is Antarctica a desert? And why does Vanessa keep coughing? Hear the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion! The unofficial snack pairing of The Thing and New Dragon Gate Inn is xiaolong bao, a dumpling that hides a soupy secret. This episode was brought to you by fans of John Carpenter's Starman. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this seasonally affected episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the final entry in a classic samurai series, Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell. Vanessa counters with one of the best vampire films of the 2000s, Let the Right One In. But what do childhood romance and vampires have to do with the plight of a wandering swordsman? How does it feel to walk The Demon Way in Hell? And how prepared are your hosts to defend themselves from guard dogs? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell is onigiri stuffed with salted plum. This episode was brought to you by the grim and inevitable passage of time. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that is absolutely down with the sickness, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the most Kicking and Screaming movies of 2021, Malignant. After saying the words “backwards parkour” more times than you might expect, Elijah counters with the singularly bizarre early 2000s sci-fi actioner The One. But what do interdimensional doppelgangers have to do with Malignant? How many times did that doctor say “It's time to cut out the cancer”? And what dubious distinction makes this pairing unique in Kicking and Screaming history? Hear the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Malignant and The One is red twin pops. This episode was brought to you by nu-metal. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode with all the trimmings, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for that Thanksgiving judo classic, Throw Down. After discussing the three Fs of Kicksgiving (Family, Food, and Fighting), Vanessa counters with the giallo masterpiece Opera. But what does this tale of a cursed opera have in common with seedy judokas? Do crows really remember their enemies? And is Vanessa finally going to start doing judo? The answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Throw Down and Opera is a piece of burrata you throw onto the floor and then eat off of the floor while muttering dreamily about how you're not like anyone else. This episode was brought to you by the fighting spirit of Kicksgiving. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this shockingly lifelike episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the underseen direct-to-video gem Pin. After realizing a microphone wasn't plugged in and losing half an hour of material, Elijah counters with a masterpiece of martial arts mannequins: 18 Bronzemen. But what do bronze shaolin mannequins actually have in common with an anatomical teaching aid? Does Pin feature the best boyfriend in horror history? And how quickly can Vanessa recap the half hour they lost? Find the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Pin and 18 Bronzemen is a cold glass of milk with bronze glitter poured in. This episode was brought to you by latex flesh suits. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this sobering episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the wine-soaked martial arts masterpiece that is Drunken Master 2. After some frank talks about addiction (Sorry, Grandma!), Vanessa counters with another all-time cinematic classic of violence and spirits, The Shining. But aside from their mutual love of a stiff drink, how much do Jack Torrance and Wong Fei Hung really have in common? Does alcohol make Elijah better at fighting? And is Vanessa really who she says she is? Hear the answers to all these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Drunken Master 2 and The Shining is drunken noodles and an unrelated side of french fries with ketchup. (Best served between 2 and 3am, somewhere between the bar and your house) This episode was brought to you by Emilio. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that is chock full of references to previous episodes of this podcast, Vanessa challenges to find the perfect martial arts pairing for what is easily the best third entry in a nonexistent trilogy, Dude Bro Party Massacre III. After reminiscing on their recent trip to Portland (and clarifying that Crows Zero and Kung Fu Hustle are also acceptable pairings), Elijah counters with a film that totally should have spun out into a trilogy, Kung Fu Killer. But how much does a series of martial arts duels really have in common with Motherface's rampage? Why do your hosts sound particularly cozy? And what's the most embarrassing thing that's happened at a film screening Vanessa has programmed? Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Dude Bro Party Massacre III and Kung Fu Killer is beer and Shin Ramyun Black. This episode was brought to you by the city of Portland. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this seasonal episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing for the martial arts slasher Dreadnaught. After rebranding the podcast to a musical parody show, Vanessa counters with the blueprint, Halloween (1978). How much do White Tiger and Michael Myers have in common? Why do Vanessa and Elijah have such different perceptions of Michael Myers? And why does Vanessa keep moving away from the microphone? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Dreadnaught and Halloween (1978) is individually wrapped taffy served in a plastic jack-o'-lantern pail. This episode was, unfortunately, not brought to you by Benihana. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this fatherly episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing for a film that may have the catchiest theme song in slasher flick history, The Mutilator (aka Fall Break). After singing the chorus a few too many times, Elijah counters with Donnie Yen actioner Dragon (aka Wu Xia). But what does this noir-tinged kung fu throwback have in common with The Mutilator? Who is Vanessa's preferred alternative to Chuck Norris? And what does Elijah's mustache sound like? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of The Mutilator and Dragon is oyster shots with Sichuan chili crisp. This episode was brought to you by complicated feelings towards father figures. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that spans multiple generations (of runtime), special guest William Bibbiani challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for Shaw Brothers staple Executioners From Shaolin. After getting downright giddy that someone besides Elijah picked this movie, Vanessa and Elijah counter with 2018's franchise reboot-quel, Halloween. But what does Michael Myers' return to Haddonfield have to do with a story of Shaolin vengeance? Which character reminds Vanessa of her grandmother? Will your hosts find a way to once again mention both Freddy vs. Jason AND Kill Bill? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Executioners From Shaolin and Halloween (2018) is candy corn glazed chicken wings. This episode was brought to you by The Justice for Ben Tramer Foundation. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this mysterious double-feature, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing for the South Korean martial arts noir film The City Of Violence. After lowkey trying to start a fight club, Vanessa counters with the early aughts slasher Valentine. But what does a holiday-themed slasher have in common with The City Of Violence? Who were Vanessa and Elijah's grade school bullies? And what is the podcast's new catchphrase? Find out, on this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of The City Of Violence and Valentine is chocolate liqueurs. This episode was brought to you by Milhouse. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this eye-catching episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the Italian gore classic The Beyond. After talking a bit too long about the part where a tarantula eats a guy's tongue, Elijah decides to uphold the podcast's long standing tradition of discussing sequels before originals whenever possible and chooses the twenty-second film in the Zatoichi franchise, Zatoichi Meets The One-Armed Swordsman. But what could these two swordsmen possibly have in common with a hotel built on a gate to hell? Is Elijah going to make good on his promise to eat every snack pairing? And why is Vanessa so fired up about a recent video game character reveal? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for The Beyond and Zatoichi Meets The One-Armed Swordsman is étouffée onigiri. This episode was brought to you by the ancient art of sumo. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

Surprise! It's our 50th episode! And because we didn't realize it, we did nothing to acknowledge or celebrate that fact at the time of recording (No one was more surprised than us). So here is our standard, non-celebratory episode description: In this manly episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the Sonny Chiba classic The Street Fighter. After pulling Elijah back from a brief existential crisis, Vanessa counters with another tale of unchecked hyper-masculinity, American Psycho. But what does a Wall Street serial killer have to do with a karate mercenary? How did Elijah's grandma react to the scene with the grandpa in Texas chainsaw Massacre? And who is Vanessa going to be for Halloween this year? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for The Street Fighter and American Psycho is a regular hot dog but it costs $80. This episode was brought to you by the 49 episodes that came before it over the last 11½ months, and all of the amazing listeners who have kept us going. Thank you! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this twisted episode (Get it? Twisted? Like a drill), special guest Alex Steed challenges Vanessa and Elijah to come up with the perfect martial arts pairing to subversive slasher classic Slumber Party Massacre. After finally unpacking some SUPER SUBTLE symbolism with the drill, Vanessa and elijah counter with Righting Wrongs, perhaps the only martial arts movie to also feature drill murder. But besides drills, do these films really have a connection? Why has it taken us this long to talk about Cynthia Rothrock? And is Slumber Party Massacre the representation we've been missing? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Slumber Party Massacre and Righting Wrongs is fish ball pizza. This episode was brought to you by toy train tension. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that we hope will someday serve as a father figure to a hapless latchkey kid, Vanessa flips the script by challenging Elijah to find a horror pairing for the movie that made his father (Jean Claude Van Dad) a star, Bloodsport. After finally admitting that he only competed as a kickboxer in the hopes that it would make JCVD proud of him, Elijah counters with a film that was equally influential to Vanessa, From Dusk Till Dawn. But what does a bar full of vampires have to do with a kumite? What was young Vanessa's most quoted line? And will this top the Lake Mungo/Day of Reckoning episode for Most Crying? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Bloodsport and From Dusk Till Dawn is apple pie. This episode was brought to you by the outrageous lies of Frank Dux. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this meaty episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing for Sammo Hung starring kung fu classic The Magnificent Butcher. After determining that The Magnificent Butcher is actually also a horror film, Vanessa counters with one of the greatest films of all-time, horror or otherwise: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. But aside from both featuring butchers, how much do these two films really have in common? Would Elijah rather meet Leatherface or his dad? And how does Sammo Hung remind Vanessa of Fran Drescher? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of The Magnificent Butcher and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a whole jar of pickled pig's feet. This episode was brought to you by shameless thirst for Sammo Hung. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that's actually a loving homage to our Scream/Kung Fu Hustle episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of her all-time favorites, Waxwork. After dropping an absolute bombshell on Vanessa, Elijah counters with the underrated kung fu throwback Gallants. But what do aging martial artists have to do with Satanic wax monsters? Why is Waxwork so horny? And does Vanessa want you, the listener, to eat a slug? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion. The snack pairing for Waxwork and Gallants is steak tartare with a duck egg. This episode was brought to you by Vanessa's newscaster voice. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this viscous episode, special guest John-Michael Bond challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the shockingly rad creature feature Slugs. After confirming that you should absolutely not watch Slugs while eating a salad, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the outrageous Shaw Brothers classic Buddha's Palm. But how can a movie without a single slug possibly pair with, well, Slugs? What formative movies did cool video store clerks suggest to your hosts at impressionable ages? And what does John-Michael Bond's dad think about the Fast and Furious franchise? Find the answers to all these questions and more in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Slugs and Buddha's Palm is escargot and jalapeno poppers. This episode was brought to you by Zit Boy. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that your cousin's boyfriend swears can totally hear someone being murdered in the background of, Vanessa (sort of) challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing to the slasher gem Urban Legend. After reminiscing on a simpler time when we all found Jared Leto more palatable, Elijah counters with hugely influential action masterpiece John Wick. But how much does a gritty hitman actually have in common with a series of urban legend-inspired murders at a college? Is Brenda from Urban Legend one of the most underappreciated slasher villains of all-time? And does Elijah's shirt have very complicated patterns? Find the answers to all these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Urban Legend and John Wick is Blanton's bourbon and cola in a glass rimmed with Pop Rocks. This episode was brought to you by an unending affection for Brad Dourif. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that never closes, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing to his favorite movie of the year, Hydra. After spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about Waffle House hash browns, Vanessa counters with the slapstick splatter classic Blood Feast. But can the absurdity of Blood Feast really pair with the slow-burn drama of Hydra? How can Elijah be this hyped about a movie that only has two fight scenes? And how does Vanessa take her hash browns? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Hydra and Blood Diner is a veggie burger with a tandoori sauce. This episode is dedicated to Smear, the goodest boy. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this dreamy episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing to the all-time great slasher A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. After establishing that Vanessa is a real piece of work, Elijah counters with the sleep-fighting extravaganza Sleeping Fist. But does it pair as well as Avenging Eagle would have? What kill in Dream Warriors makes Vanessa squirm? And which of your hosts is the more capable sleep fighter? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and Sleeping Fist is a glass of chardonnay and Nadiya Hussain's beetroot feta pasta. This episode was brought to you by the ghost of a circus child --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode with a strong character arc, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the Shaw Brothers classic Avenging Eagle. After determining that any movie with a group of themed assassins slaps, Vanessa counters with the buddy horror zomcom classic, Shaun of the Dead. Is it a better pick than Elijah's Nightmare on Elm Street suggestion? Why is Vanessa adapting the 2006 movie Smokin' Aces into a graphic novel? And will this be the episode that ends Vanessa and Elijah's marriage? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Avenging Eagle and Shaun of the Dead is Bugles and salted peanuts. This episode was brought to you Vanessa's commitment to a bit. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that absolutely demolishes the previous podcast record for “most on-air crying,” Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a pairing for the mockumentary masterpiece of dread that is Lake Mungo. After determining that it's worse to cry in an M&M store than a White Castle, Elijah counters with what is possibly the greatest 6th film in a franchise of all time, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning. But what does a movie about bioengineered beefcakes have in common with a slow-burn story of a haunting? Why can't Elijah say “Lake Mungo” in a normal voice? And does Vanessa remember your Twitter handle? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing for Lake Mungo and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is a dirty martini on an empty stomach. This episode was brought to you by profound sadness. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this testosterone-laden episode, special guest Brea Grant challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find a pairing for the epic action opus that is The Raid 2. After Elijah declares that it is quite possibly the greatest action movie of all time, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the slow-burn genre-bender Kill List. But besides brutal hammer-related violence, do these two movies really have anything in common? What is the logical conclusion to a life of unrestrained toxic masculinity? And what's the worst movie to see on a first date? Get the answers to all these questions and more in this week's double-feature discussion! The snack pairing for The Raid 2 and Kill List is griddled rabbit (with an additional vegan rabbit substitute option). This episode was brought to you by cryptic symbols. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that we hope will age well, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the rough and tumble Muay Thai actioner Chocolate (2008). After talking a bit about problematic handlings of characters on the autism spectrum in media (yes, we're once again looking at you, Cube), Vanessa counters with another movie about a deadly young girl, Orphan. Can Vanessa convince Elijah that this pairing works? Would Elijah accept his adopted child if they turned out to be a murderer? And what is Vanessa's equivalent of Popeye's spinach? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Chocolate and Orphan is chocolate (duh) and red wine. This episode was brought to you by Vanessa's ability to “turn it on.” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode made primarily of audio stolen from other podcasts, special guest Joe Starr challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for the Godfrey Ho z-movie classic Cobra Vs. Ninja. After struggling to summarize the plot, Vanessa and Elijah retaliate with another sleazy story of bad bets and dirty money, Leprechaun 3. But all gambling aside, can you really compare a leprechaun to a ninja? How did Joe like his first Leprechaun film? And is Godfrey Ho actually an underrated genius? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Cobra vs. Ninja and Leprechaun 3 is gold-dusted chicken nuggets and a Big League Chew trading card. This episode was brought to you by a CD-ROM that teaches you about cryptids. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode that refuses to die, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a pairing for the immortal masterpiece that is Re-Animator. After getting a little more schmaltzy and romantic about Re-Animator than you might expect, Elijah counters with the pinnacle of stylishness, Versus. But what does an action movie about yakuza and escaped prisoners have to do with the greatest Lovecraft adaptation of all time? How did Elijah make a terrible impression with Stuart Gordon? And does Vanessa look really good in a Herbert West costume? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Re-Animator and Versus is a glowing green appletini and a skewer of chicken hearts. This episode was brought to you by a sick-ass guitar riff. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this appetizing episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the criminally underrated epic of arts both martial and gastronomical, Bushido Man. After some heated nunchuk debate, Vanessa counters with an equally filling flick: The Stuff. But can a movie so viciously unappetizing really pair with the deliciousness of Bushido Man? Which film’s protagonist is the stronger fighter? And what is a “burrito switch?” Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Bushido Man and The Stuff is halo-halo. This episode was brought to you by our unending love for Jollibee. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode best listened to in your car, the Kicking and Screaming format is broken for the first time when neither host challenges the other to find a double-feature pairing. Instead, both films were mutually agreed upon during a roadtrip: Drive (1997) and The Hitcher (1986). Vanessa and Elijah discuss why Drive is one of the most underrated buddy movies of all time, queer subtext in The Hitcher, and why we’ve become the official podcast of congratulating Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song on their newborn son. The official snack pairing for Drive and The Hitcher is a cheeseburger with finger fries and a milkshake in a rocket cup. This episode was brought to you by Mark Dacascos’s captivating musical number. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In an episode we’re extremely possessive of, special guest Sapphire Sandalo challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for all-time classic The Exorcist. After waxing about their relationships with religion and faith, Vanessa and Elijah counter with another classic tale of possession, Ninja 3: The Domination. But can a movie about ninjas and dance aerobics truly match one of the most iconic masterpieces of horror cinema? What is the least sexy liquid? And do your hosts believe in ghosts? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for The Exorcist and Ninja 3: The Domination is pea soup washed down with a V8 juice. This episode was not brought to you by V8. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this skinny double-feature, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of his childhood favorites, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. After lusting after Viggo Mortensen (and his jeans), Elijah counters with a film from the very short list of martial arts slasher flicks, Human Lanterns. But can any martial arts movie match the unhinged ferocity of The Family? How did Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 cause baby Elijah to embarrass his family? And who is the dumbest protagonist in Kicking and Screaming history? The official snack pairing for Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 and Human Lanterns is chicharrones and crepes. This episode was brought to you by severe technical difficulties. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this gritty reboot of an episode you loved growing up, special guest DeVaughn Taylor challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the best horror reboots of the decade, Evil Dead (2013). After lamenting the extended Necronomicon-verse that could have been, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the relentlessly paced Broken Path (AKA Broken Fist, AKA Attack Of The Yakuza). But what does this obscure low-budget martial arts movie have in common with a modern horror masterpiece? Would Elijah read from the Necronomicon? And what is Vanessa’s ranking of all the A Star Is Born movies? The official snack pairing for Evil Dead (2013) and Broken Path is a big turkey leg from specifically Six Flags, and a cherry slushie spiked with sake. This episode was brought to you by turkey carvers. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this animal-loving episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for what is easily the best martial arts movie about a man trying to find an elephant, The Protector. After finally determining her favorite animal at a truly unfortunate time, Vanessa counters with another movie about the dangers of interfering with animals, Long Weekend. But how can a slow-burn relationship drama/psychological horror hold up to a bone-crushing masterpiece of Muay Thai? What’s the greatest single take in all of film? And does Vanessa have rabies? The answers to all of these and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for The Protector and Long Weekend is animal crackers and a hardboiled egg that you dye red. This episode was brought to you by the sort of manic energy you get when you’re doing something you love for the first time in a while. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this still-probably-not-kid-friendly episode, special guest BJ Colangelo challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for possibly the most 90s movie ever made: 3 Ninjas. After obsessing over a deeply inappropriate sound-effect, Vanessa and Elijah counter with a classic of children’s horror, The Witches. But what do witches actually have in common with ninjas? What movies terrified Vanessa as a child? And what can modern Hollywood action directors learn from 3 Ninjas? The official snack pairing for 3 Ninjas and The Witches is pizza and mysterious gold-wrapped chocolate bars. This episode was brought to you Anjelica Huston's wig. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this vengeful episode, special guest Andrew Bowser challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the greatest creature features of all time: Pumpkinhead. After getting to the heart of what makes Pumpkinhead so effective, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the absolutely bonkers Jet Li classic, The New Legend Of Shaolin. But can a movie this goofy truly pair with the bleak tale of grief and vengeance that is Pumpkinhead? What did Andrew Bowser think of his first kung fu movie? And is Vanessa going to marry Red Bean? The official snack pairing for Pumpkinhead and The New Legend Of Shaolin is candy pumpkins that you clumsily try to eat with a big pair of metal claws. This episode was brought to you by a love of 80s horror. And SPEAKING OF our love for classic horror, please support Andrew Bowser’s feature film Kickstarter at www.onyxthemovie.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this surreal episode, special guest Emma Cogan challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the Japanese psychedelic odyssey that is House (1977). After fawning over Blanche the evil cat, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the absurdist oddity Shaolin Drunkard. But can anything measure up to the singular vision of a movie where a girl named Melody is eaten by a piano? What do the watermelons represent? And what is Vanessa’s history with the toad demon? The official snack pairing for House and Shaolin Drunkard is watermelon and wine that you drink out of a tiny cannon. This episode was brought to you by a melting clock. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this episode that was stolen from a wealthier podcast, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for The People Under The Stairs, a classic horror story about the scariest thing of all: The obscenely wealthy. After crying for the first time on the podcast, Elijah counters with another tale of stealing from the rich to give to the masses, Iron Monkey. But can a movie without even a single cannibal match up to The People Under The Stairs? Has Vanessa ever gotten so high that she bombed on stage? And can billionaires enjoy horror movies? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for The People Under The Stairs and Iron Monkey is s’mores that you make with chocolate coins. This episode was brought to you by a contempt for the ultra-wealthy. Link to donate to Wor Watthana Muay Thai gym: https://www.worwatthana.com/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this mysterious episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for his favorite Jackie Chan film, the frustratingly titled Wheels On Meals. After talking about Elijah’s time as a boy detective, Vanessa counters with the unparalleled vibes of the giallo classic Blood And Black Lace. But can she convince Elijah that a movie with no food trucks, skateboarding, or kickboxing is truly a match for Wheels On Meals? Are Vanessa and Elijah wealthy fat cats? And why do Osmosis Jones and Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes work so well together? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Wheels On Meals and Blood And Black Lace is a food truck hamburger with too much ketchup on it. This episode was brought to you by a mysterious inheritance. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this dearly beloved episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the self-aware slasher masterpiece, Bride of Chucky. After reminiscing on why he didn’t get invited to many sleepovers as a kid, Elijah counters with another tale of newly wedded mayhem, Heroes of the East. But how much can a story about clashing martial arts styles have in common with killer dolls? Which co-host is better at throwing secret darts? And who invented the three-section staff? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Bride of Chucky and Heroes of the East is Swedish meatballs with Chinese 5-spice and miso paste. This episode was brought to you by severe exhaustion. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support

In this precocious episode, special guest Rosie Knight challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for the horrifyingly brutal martial arts masterpiece The Night Comes For Us. After being reminded of their own fragile mortality, Vanessa and Elijah counter with another cautionary tale about the dangers of taking care of children: The Girl With All The Gifts. But how much can a martial arts gangster story and a zombie movie really have in common? Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? And will Kicking and Screaming pair a Joe Taslim vehicle with a zombie movie three weeks in a row? The official snack pairing for The Night Comes For Us and The Girl With All The Gifts is a porterhouse steak and a jawbreaker. This episode was brought to you by box cutters. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/vanessa-gritton/support