The Autism Mom Coach

In Episode 165, Lisa Canera examines "the space between" - the developmental gap parents observe between their autistic children and neurotypical peers. Drawing from her experience with her teenage son Ben and insights from her coaching practice, Lisa offers practical guidance on responding effectively when this gap becomes more apparent. She provides a balanced perspective on processing emotions rather than defaulting to additional interventions or self-blame.What You'll LearnHow the developmental gap can trigger stress responses in parentsWhy middle school often represents a turning point where social differences become more pronouncedThe counterproductive nature of constantly trying to "catch up" through additional therapiesPractical strategies for pausing before making reactive decisionsHow acknowledging reality creates space for more intentional parenting choicesCase StudiesLisa discusses her son Ben's experience with social skills development as peer interactions became more complex in middle schoolA client's realization when her son's differences became apparent during a track practice that had previously been successfulCommon patterns of parental response when confronted with developmental differencesSpecial AnnouncementLisa currently has two openings in her one-on-one coaching program. This opportunity includes:Personalized coaching tailored to your specific challengesAccess to the group program (only available to current clients and alumni)Support for becoming a calm, confident parent your autistic child needsAbout Your HostLisa Canera is a lawyer, certified life coach, and full-time single mother of a teenager with autism. Her evidence-based approach helps parents navigate the complexities of raising children with autism while maintaining their emotional wellbeing.Take ActionVisit theautismmomcoach.com to schedule your consultation call.

In this quick episode, I share a few thoughts on the recent autism headlines—from the latest prevalence data to RFK Jr.'s controversial comments about autism—and how these moments shine a light on the deeply different experiences within our own community.This is not a political take. It's a reminder that autism parenting doesn't look the same for every family—and that true acceptance starts with making space for each other's stories, even when they differ from our own.

Discover how to navigate public meltdowns, reduce anxiety, and heal from the trauma of feeling constantly judged.In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach, we unpack the PTSD of being “on display” as the parent of a child with autism. Episode SummaryPublic meltdowns can trigger deep emotional distress for both the child and the parent. Prolonged exposure to judgmental stares, unsolicited advice, and sudden confrontations often leads to anxiety, hypervigilance, and feelings of fear or helplessness. Drawing from real-life events, this episode shines a light on why these experiences stay with us, how our brains respond to perceived threats, and practical ways to build resilience for you and your child.Why You Should ListenIf you've ever felt criticized, misunderstood, or singled out in public while managing your child's meltdown, this episode is for you. Gain trauma-informed insights, real-life examples, and actionable tips to help you cope and heal. By addressing both the emotional and practical aspects of public meltdown stress, you'll walk away feeling more equipped, supported, and empowered in your parenting journey.Subscribe & Stay ConnectedListen now to Episode 163 of The Autism Mom Coach on your favorite podcast platform.Subscribe so you never miss an episode packed with actionable advice for parenting children with autism.Connect on social media for more autism-friendly strategies, PTSD awareness, and mental health resources.

It's April—Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month—and today, we're talking about what autism acceptance really looks like in real life.Have you ever felt like all eyes are on you when you're in public with your child? Whether it's the school drop-off line, the grocery store, or waiting in line at Chipotle, those moments when your child's behavior stands out can feel like you're center stage in a performance you never auditioned for.In this episode, I share my own experience of what it means to be on display as the parent of a child with autism—and how my mindset has shifted from shame and over-apologizing to pride and advocacy.You'll hear:Why being "on display" used to feel like failure to meWhat changed over time as I redefined what autism acceptance looks likeThe story of a school drop-off panic that left me feeling exposed and mortifiedWhy I stopped apologizing for my child's autismA powerful moment on an Amtrak train that reminded me what true inclusion looks likeThree practical tips to feel more grounded when you're “that family”Whether your child is melting down at the playground or wearing a Paw Patrol shirt at 15, these moments are opportunities—not for hiding—but for showing up and modeling what support, advocacy, and love look like in action.Remember: Autism acceptance starts with us.Resources & Links:

Have you ever had teachers insist your child is thriving at school, yet at home, they fall apart? This episode explores autism masking—when autistic children hide their natural behaviors to appear neurotypical. Learn why masking happens, the heavy emotional and sensory toll it takes, and practical steps you can take to support your child.In this episode, you'll discover:What autism masking is and the reasons children engage in it, including avoiding bullying, negative consequences, and internalized shame.How masking can mislead educators into thinking your child doesn't need support.Why People Think My Child ISN'T Autistic - The Coke Bottle Effect Explained by autistic advocate Orion Kelly.Key signs your child might be masking, such as drastic behavioral differences between school and home, frequent bathroom breaks, increased stimming, and physical complaints.Work with Me: If you're feeling caught between pushing your child forward and holding back to prevent overwhelm, schedule your complimentary consultation today and let's create a plan to support both you and your child effectively.Book Your Complimentary Consultation HERE.

My blood boils every time I see it—the IEP trap. It usually shows up as a proud post from an autism parent:“My child is doing so well that the school reduced their IEP support!”Sounds like progress, right? Wrong.The harsh reality is this: a child's progress is not a reason to remove supports—it's proof that those supports are working. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.In this episode, I'm breaking down: What the IEP trap really is. The real reasons it happens. What you can do to protect your child's services and mental health.If you've ever been told your child's progress means they don't need as much help, this episode is for you. Tune in and get the clarity you need to keep advocating for your child's true needs.Want more support? Book your complimentary consultation call here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/

Your child screams, ignores you, or lashes out—and it feels personal. But here's the truth: it's not about you. Their behavior is a reflection of what's happening in their nervous system, not a measure of their respect or love for you. In this episode , I'll teach you how to: Understand why we take our child's behavior personally (and why it's a natural response). Recognize what happens in your brain when you get triggered—and how to stop reacting. Break the cycle of co-escalation and become a calming presence for your child.Develop a new response strategy so you can stay in control, regulate your own emotions, and actually help your child.When you shift your mindset, everything changes. You will stop feeling like your child's behavior is an attack and start responding in ways that help them feel safe and supported.Want more support? Book your complimentary consultation call here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/

Are school struggles leaving you feeling defeated and overwhelmed as an Autism parent? You're not alone. In this episode, I talk with Rachel, an Autism mom and my coaching client, who transformed her own experience of her child's school challenges in just a few weeks. By changing how she thought and felt about behavior struggles, bus issues, and meltdowns, she went from feeling ashamed and exhausted to confident and in control—without changing her son or his school.What You'll Learn in This Episode:The biggest mindset shift that helped Rachel stop feeling ashamed of her son's behaviorHow she built confidence as an Autism parent and became a stronger advocate for her childSimple but powerful strategies that helped her navigate school struggles with less stressIf you've ever wondered:How do I handle my child's school challenges without feeling defeated?Why do school struggles impact me so much?What can I do to support my autistic child and take care of myself?This episode is for you! Tune in now.

I'm sure you've realized by now, no matter how hard we try, we can't control our children's behaviors. However, we can choose how we want to think about them. That might not sound particularly powerful, but trust me when I say it's a real gamechanger.

We all wanted our kids to talk.We persisted, we prayed, and we paid for them to learn this skill.And now… they have it.But sometimes, that means hearing words that **sting**. “I hate you!”“That was terrible.”“You're annoying.”After all that effort to help them communicate, **this** is what we get? It can feel like a punch to the gut.But here's what I want you to remember: *it's not personal.In this episode of *The Autism Mom Coach*, we're breaking down: Why autistic kids communicate so bluntly (and why it's not the same as being rude). How to stop taking their words personally—so you can respond, not react. The simple mindset shifts that help you decode what they *actually* mean. Why staying calm matters more than forcing politeness. Tune in now to learn how to handle these moments with more understanding, less stress, and a whole lot more patience.*

Many of my clients have had this moment: “Wait… I think my husband is autistic.”Maybe it's how literal he is. Maybe he hates socializing, disappears at family gatherings, or doesn't pick up on emotional cues. And then there's this—when you say *“I'm fine”*… *he actually believes you.At first, it's a relief—finally, an explanation! But then comes the frustration, the sadness, the overwhelm. What does this mean for your relationship? For your emotional connection? For the life you imagined?In this episode, I'm breaking down:The emotional rollercoaster of realizing your spouse might be autistic.Why a diagnosis—*or his agreement with it*—doesn't actually change your relationship.How your *thoughts* about him shape your experience more than anything else.Why even small efforts can be meaningful (if you choose to see them that way).The difference between accepting your spouse *as he is* and settling for less than what you want.If this is something you've been grappling with, you're not alone. Tune in now for real talk, practical shifts, and a new way of looking at your relationship.Listen now on *The Autism Mom Coach*!*

In this week's episode, I am sharing with you one of my favorite poems.It is called “The Gift” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a clinical psychologist and author who teaches that children **aren't here for us to "fix"—they are here to teach us**.And who knows this more than Autism parents?Tune in now to hear The Gift and how you can apply it to your Autism parenting journey today.The GiftDr. Shefali Tsabary

In this episode, I'm answering a listener's question: How can I teach my child patience—and how can I become a more patient parent? Patience isn't something we're born with—it's a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned and improved with intention. But here's the key: If you want to teach your child patience, you need to model it first.I'll walk you through practical strategies to:Build your own patience so you can demonstrate it in everyday momentsSet SMART, achievable goals to help your child develop patience step by stepUse tools like timers and narration to make waiting more predictableReinforce patience with positive support—not pressureIf you ever feel like patience is impossible in your home, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn simple, actionable steps to help both you and your child build this essential skill. Ready to take this work deeper? Book a free consult with me at talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me.

Ever find yourself running through worst-case scenarios like, “What if my child has a meltdown in public?” or “What if I'm missing something critical?” This is anticipatory anxiety. It's that relentless “what if” loop that keeps you stuck in fear, bracing for problems that haven't even happened yet.In this week's episode of The Autism Mom Coach, I'm breaking down what anticipatory anxiety really is, how it shows up in your life, and why it's stealing your energy. Plus, I'll teach you a powerful strategy called positive projection to stop the cycle and start parenting with more confidence.Don't forget—my free webinar, “Stop Walking on Eggshells and Start Parenting with Confidence,” is happening tomorrow. I'll go even deeper into how to break free from bracing for your child's emotions. Register through the link here or my Instagram bio.

In this episode, we dive into the hidden costs of walking on eggshells as an Autism parent. I share my personal experience and insights from working with families across the country who struggle with this issue.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/151

I'm shining a bright light on what it really means to walk on eggshells as an Autism parent. I share insights on how this impacts both you and your child, and most importantly, I provide actionable strategies to help you break free from this draining cycle. Get ready to reclaim your confidence and learn how to parent from a place of calm and stability.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/150

Learn how to identify the limiting beliefs and stories that are holding you back, and how to reframe your thinking to find the opportunities for growth and progress. I also share some of the ways I help my coaching clients use reflection to create new patterns and strategies for themselves and their children. If you're ready to leave regret behind and embrace a fresh perspective, this episode is for you!Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/149

I revisit the important topic of how coaching changes everything, helping you make the progress in your life that you really want to see. Tune in this week to discover how coaching changes the game for Autism parents. I share my own story of finding a coach who truly understands Autism and my experience as a Special Needs parent, and you'll learn the foundational tools that helped me really embrace what coaching has to offer. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/148

Learn how to step back from emotionally charged moments and view them from a more lighthearted, observer's perspective. This emotional distancing tactic, rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy, can help reduce stress, create space between you and the situation, and empower you to respond intentionally rather than react emotionally as an Autism parent.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/147

I'm here to validate your experience with holiday GOMO and share some strategies to help you cope. Learn tips for honoring your feelings, redefining what matters for your family, connecting with people who get it, limiting social comparisons, and celebrating your wins. My goal is to help you have a holiday season that works for you and your child, even if it looks different from the Hallmark version.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/146

I explore why people give us unwanted comments, anecdotes, or approaches to discipline, and how it can make us feel as Autism parents. Hear the power of responding proactively in these situations, why setting firm boundaries is vital, and my top tips for protecting your energy and having your own back as the expert on your child.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/145

In this episode, I share my tips for not just surviving, but thriving during the holiday stretch as an Autism parent. I help you understand why this time of year is so challenging for our kids, and what you can do to prepare yourself and your child for the ups and downs of the season.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/144

Tune in this week to learn what gratitude masking is and how to stop doing it. You'll learn exactly where gratitude masking is making your life harder as the parent of a child with Autism, and I share practical tips to help you stop weaponizing gratitude against yourself.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/143

Hear my personal experience of navigating outings with my son, and how social stories became a game-changer in preparing him for new experiences with confidence. Learn what social stories are, why they can be incredibly effective, and how they help children understand what to expect in specific situations.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/142

Tune in this week as I talk about how to handle those moments when it feels like you're the center of attention as an Autism parent and everyone is watching. I share strategies for staying calm, focusing on your child, and even educating others in the process.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/141

Tune in this week as I share a powerful personal story illustrating the importance of staying in your own lane, both literally and figuratively. Learn practical strategies for swerving back into your own lane and supporting your child's emotional growth in the process.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/140

Learn the top three mistakes parents make during meltdowns and simple antidotes that will help you respond intentionally, and how, by avoiding these pitfalls, you can create a more peaceful and supportive environment for your child.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/139

Hear why Googling Autism is the favorite pastime of all Autism parents and my thoughts on why you should stop. You'll learn how it often undermines your sense of confidence and control. I offer questions that will help you gain awareness of why you're doing it, how it's impacting you, and how you can make more mindful decisions about how much and what type of information you consume. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/138

Learn how to rewire your brain, reduce your anxiety, and show up as a calmer, more effective parent. In this replay of one of my early podcast episodes, I dive deep into the cognitive distortion of catastrophizing. I explain what it is, why we do it, and why we mistakenly believe it's useful. Most importantly, I share practical strategies to interrupt the catastrophizing loop when you find yourself in it. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/137

How often do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, only to end up feeling worse than before? As Autism moms, we turn to social media for support, connection, and resources. But if we're not careful, it can quickly become a source of stress, comparison, and negativity.Listen in this week to hear the toll scrolling on social media can have on your experience as an Autism parent, and how our brains are wired to compare ourselves to others. You'll hear practical strategies that will help you reclaim your peace of mind, and my top tips for transforming social media from a stress-inducing scroll to a tool for support and empowerment. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/136

While we may not be able to eliminate stress completely, there are sneaky habits that many of us have fallen into that unnecessarily add fuel to the fire. By bringing awareness to these patterns and making small shifts, you can lighten your mental load and find more ease in your daily life. Tune in this week to learn how to identify where your stress is coming from, some simple strategies to reduce stress, and find out how to get involved with Stress Less Octoberfest.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/135

Learn practical strategies you can implement right away to respond to meltdowns with more compassion and confidence. From morning routine struggles to self-injurious behaviors, I cover a range of meltdown situations that many Autism families face and what you can do to effectively support your child. Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/134

Discover practical strategies to either avoid, interrupt, or shorten the duration and intensity of your meltdown hangovers. Learn how to show up as the best version of yourself for your child, and I give you actionable advice to help you break free from the grip of meltdown hangovers and find a sense of calm and resilience. Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/133

Uncover the common signs of meltdown hangovers, understand how long you can expect them to last, and get questions you can ask yourself to identify your specific symptoms. Stay tuned for part two next week, where you'll learn actionable steps to reduce the intensity and duration of meltdown hangovers.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/132

I walk you through how to create your own Response Barometer with specific strategies for dealing with each level of your child's Behavior Barometer. Learn how to make effective decisions ahead of time, allowing you to respond to your child in a way that serves both of you.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/131

Learn how to create your own customized Behavior Barometer. I'll walk you through why this tool is so powerful for building your confidence as an Autism parent. With a Behavior Barometer, you'll gain perspective on which situations are truly significant and be equipped with an objective framework to guide your response, even when you feel triggered.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/130

If you're walking on eggshells around your child and it doesn't feel like it's helping, tune in this week to discover what to do instead. I explain the cause and impact of walking on eggshells around your child, framed through the CBT model, and show you how to take back control next time you find yourself in this situation.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/129

Discover why your child's meltdowns are informative and how to learn from these meltdowns instead of fearing them. I show you how to get curious instead of emotional when things get hard, and you'll learn a powerful step-by-step process for showing up with objectivity when your child is melting down.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/128

Tune in this week to discover my burnout buster for Autism moms. I show you how all the visible and invisible labor of being an Autism parent leads to burnout, share the value of saying no strategically, and break down a simple technique you can try to help you say no when it serves your well-being the most.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/127

In this episode, we take a look at what's actually happening in your brain when anxiety takes over. I break down the different parts of the brain involved and how they interact to keep you stuck in fight-or-flight mode. Once you understand the science behind it, anxiety becomes a lot less scary and mysterious. Learn my 4 C's method for challenging anxious thoughts in the moment and choosing a different response.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/126

Learn a biological hack for immediately creating calm in your body when you're stressed. I share how the Autism Mom Ice Water Challenge works and my top tips for implementing this technique in your everyday life.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/125

Rob Gorski is a solo parent of three sons with Autism, each with unique characteristics. He lives in Ohio and runs a popular blog and hosts an impactful podcast called The Autism Dad, where he shares his experiences and offers support to other parents raising children with Autism and other disabilities. Learn a fresh perspective on Autism parenting from The Autism Dad, Rob Gorski.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/124

We believe more is better, and that if we do more, our child with Autism will be ‘okay' or won't struggle as much. I debunk the myth that more intervention is better and explore the dangers of the 1987 Lovaas study. I'm showing you why higher amounts of therapy may not be helpful to your child, how your well-being matters more to your child than speech or behavioral intervention, and the importance of trusting your instincts and expertise. Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/123

Discover why emotions are contagious and what you can do with this information. I discuss the science and statistics behind emotional contagion in children with Autism and their parents. Learn how to create a more stable environment for your child when they're melting down.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/122

Discover why your child's behaviors, regardless of whether you like them or not, are neutral. I share how remaining neutral about your child's behaviors helps you to stay calm as you navigate the challenges of Autism parenting, and you'll learn how to stop looking at your child's behaviors as either good or bad, so you can avoid the anger and frustration that accompanies challenging behaviors.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/121

I'm giving a voice and a name to the experience that Autism moms everywhere have of missing out on parenting experiences we expected and the childhood we imagined for our kids. This is what I'm calling GOMO, the grief of missing out. Discover how to start acknowledging the grief of missing out and learn how to not get stuck there when this grief strikes.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/120

I'm sharing two of the most valuable lessons I've brought you in the history of this podcast: that worrying is optional, and how to stop worrying. Tune in this week to discover why we worry and how to stop. Discover why worry is always optional, how worrying is impacting your life in more ways than you currently realize, and you'll learn how to get control over your worrying brain so you can show up in the way you and your child really need you to.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/119

If you feel like there's something off about the oxygen mask analogy, tune in this week to discover why you're totally correct. I discuss why the oxygen mask fallacy doesn't offer us any comfort as Autism parents, and you'll learn what to do next time somebody tells you to put your oxygen mask on first before you try to help your child with Autism.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/118

Learn my top tips for planning a summer that brings both you and your child joy. I'm sharing how fear and guilt might be showing up in your parenting, how to actually relax and enjoy your summer, and the best thing you can do for yourself and your child to make the most of the summer. Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/117

Discover what picking your battles looks like as an Autism parent. I discuss the challenges of having and enforcing boundaries, why your child will always resist the boundaries you try to put in place, and you'll learn how to follow through with your boundaries when you want to, and when to pick your battles if you feel like you need to.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/116

Tune in this week to discover why boundaries are not mean. I discuss how boundaries protect you as an Autism parent and allow you to show up as your best self, and you'll learn how to uphold boundaries that protect your well-being, even during the most challenging times.Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/115