Podcasts about stop walking

Welcome to today's episode of What to Say and How to Say It, the podcast designed to help you fix your marriage! Join Shai Lewis and Nina Rosner as they dive into the topic of the Martyr Complex—an unhealthy mindset that can trap us in conflict and distance within our relationships. In this episode, we discuss the signs of a martyr or savior complex, how they show up in our marriages, and how to break free from the victim mentality that holds us back. We also explore ways to retrain your thinking and embrace personal responsibility to bring healing to your marriage.

Are you feeling stuck in your marriage? In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner dive deep into the victim mindset and the lies that keep us trapped. We explore biblical truths that help rewire your thinking, build stronger connections, and navigate conflict in a godly way.   2 Corinthians 10:5 – "Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." Topics Covered: The 4 lies that keep you feeling powerless How to shift from a victim to a victor mindset Why God's timing matters more than our expectations Setting healthy boundaries in marriage The truth about submission & faith over fear   Free Resources!

Licensed mental health counselor and author Jill Sylvester discusses strategies and tips, along with trusting your own inner voice-NEW!: 5 Minute Therapy Session- Stop Walking on EggshellsContact Jill SylvesterFollow us on IG @jillsylvesterSend us questions or feedback at jill@jillsylvester.comFor more information or to check out our other products: www.jillsylvester.comThanks to Carl Sylvester for production, Jon Grabowski for sound engineering, Michelle Sylvester (@michellesyllvester) for social media output, Tracy Colucci for newsletter creation, and Good Health Hanover Massachusetts for sponsorship. With their support, the TYI podcast is made possible for YOU to gain personal development strategies and live your best life. Thanks for listening!

Welcome to What to Say & How to Say It, the podcast that helps you navigate conflict and build a thriving marriage. In this episode, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner continue their series on narcissism—this time exploring healing. If you've been in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you know how challenging it can be to regain your sense of self. Today, we'll discuss: ✅ The impact of prolonged exposure to narcissistic behavior ✅ How healing is possible with God ✅ The role of radical acceptance in your journey ✅ How to stop taking things personally and break free from the enemy's cycle

Send us a textEpisode 174: How to Stop Walking on Eggshells and Create a Healthier Relationship If you have ever felt like you are walking on eggshells around your adult child—constantly giving but not receiving respect in return—you are not alone. Setting boundaries is one of the most common struggles parents face, but many misunderstand what boundaries actually are. Boundaries are not about controlling your child or shutting them out; they are about creating a healthier, more balanced relationship based on mutual respect. In this episode, we explore: What boundaries really are and what they are notHow to communicate your boundaries with clarity and kindnessWhy setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but is essential for a stronger relationshipReal-life examples of how to set and maintain boundaries in everyday situationsThe difference between boundaries, rules, and enmeshment, and why understanding these distinctions changes the way you relate to your childBy the end of this episode, you will have a clearer understanding of how to set effective, loving boundaries without guilt, anxiety, or fear of disconnection. If you are ready to take this work deeper, join my free class, Heal Your Relationship with Your Adult Child Without Guilt, Anxiety, or Walking on Eggshells.Join the Free Class: Heal Your Relationship with Your Adult Child In this class, we will take a deeper look at the patterns that are keeping you stuck and how to start making real, lasting changes. Registration is open now. Click here to sign up. Host and Show Information: Host: Tina Gosney, The Family Conflict Coach About: Helping mothers navigate difficult relationships with their adult children Website: tinagosney.com If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who could benefit from it. Thanks for listening, and see you next time.  Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. Developing healthy family relationships can change lives. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Connect with us: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach. Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

We're tackling the tough and often confusing topic of narcissism — what it really is, what the experts say, and how to handle these challenging behaviors when they show up in your marriage. Are you married to a narcissist — or just dealing with narcissistic behaviors? Either way, you'll come away with practical, faith-based strategies to help you show up differently, set boundaries, and protect your heart.  

Welcome to Dark Work Daily! Tune in to explore the secrets of resilience and perseverance needed to unlock your full potential.

We often break promises, overcommit, or underestimate the work involved in our commitments—leading to frustration and a loss of trust in relationships. In this episode, we explore how inconsistency affects respect and connection, why follow-through matters, and practical ways to avoid this common pitfall. Download our FREE PDF, 5 Tools for How to Stop Walking on Eggshells, and take our marriage assessment at greaterimpactwives.org.  

2025-02-09 -Eph 4:17-24 -"Stop Walking That Way" by Imperial Berean

Send Lauren a text! In this episode, I'm diving into something SO many parents tell me about - that feeling of walking on eggshells around their anxious tween or teen. That sense that you're literally tiptoeing through your own house, scared that saying or doing the wrong thing might trigger a reaction that sends your whole family's day into a spiral. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone!

Feeling unappreciated in your marriage? You're not alone. In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner dive into the silent killer of relationships—lack of appreciation. Learn why couples drift apart without realizing it and how small, intentional actions can break the cycle.

Ever find yourself running through worst-case scenarios like, “What if my child has a meltdown in public?” or “What if I'm missing something critical?” This is anticipatory anxiety. It's that relentless “what if” loop that keeps you stuck in fear, bracing for problems that haven't even happened yet.In this week's episode of The Autism Mom Coach, I'm breaking down what anticipatory anxiety really is, how it shows up in your life, and why it's stealing your energy. Plus, I'll teach you a powerful strategy called positive projection to stop the cycle and start parenting with more confidence.Don't forget—my free webinar, “Stop Walking on Eggshells and Start Parenting with Confidence,” is happening tomorrow. I'll go even deeper into how to break free from bracing for your child's emotions. Register through the link here or my Instagram bio.

In today's episode of What to Say and How to Say It, it's all about the lack of respect that often shows up in relationships, how it leads to communication breakdowns, and what you can do about it. Whether you're dealing with stonewalling or just a communication gap, this podcast provides actionable insights to help Christian married couples rebuild trust and connection. We discuss how to make the first move with small gestures, understand the importance of giving space, and even address the complexities of the "no contact" approach when things go terribly wrong in a marriage. Tune in for practical advice, support, and wisdom on how to navigate tough moments and re-engage with your spouse. Free PDF: Five Tools for How to Stop Walking on Eggshells Marriage Assessment: Available at greaterimpactwives.org  

Welcome to today's episode of What to Say & How to Say It – the podcast that helps you fix your marriage! Join hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner as they tackle the thought-provoking topic: "Is self-love or self-respect selfish?" In this episode, we explore the fine line between self-love and selfishness from a Christian perspective. How do self-care and dying to oneself, as taught in the Bible, coexist? What does it mean to navigate relationships with self-respect while staying rooted in Christ-like values? We share powerful stories, including how prioritizing self-respect can transform relationships, and offer practical insights on setting boundaries and expressing needs clearly. Plus, we reflect on the cultural confusion around self-love and the role of faith in guiding these choices.

Welcome to What to Say and How to Stay, the podcast dedicated to helping Christian married men and women navigate conflict and build connection for a thriving marriage.

In this episode, we're diving into 3 powerful ways to make vulnerability your superpower in challenging conversations.

Stop Walking On Eggshells

In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner delve into the fascinating topic of adult development and how it impacts your relationships, especially marriage. Just back from an inspiring Strength and Dignity Conference, they're sharing insights from Dr. Robert Keegan's Constructive Development Theory (CDT) to help you better understand yourself, your spouse, and how maturity affects relationship dynamics. Do you ever wonder why conflicts keep surfacing in your marriage? Or feel like you and your partner are on different pages in handling challenges? This episode explores the stages of adult development, from the egocentric self to the socially aware self, and how these stages influence our behaviors, expectations, and emotional responses in relationships. Plus, download our free PDF, “5 Tools for How to Stop Walking on Eggshells,” at greaterimpactwives.org to start transforming your interactions today. Whether you're looking to strengthen your connection, manage conflict better, or deepen your self-awareness, this conversation will provide essential tools to foster a more understanding, compassionate, and mature marriage. Tune in, reflect, and take your first steps toward a more connected and thriving relationship.

In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner dive into a powerful conversation on how competition in marriage can either bring couples closer or drive them apart. Inspired by a story from the Paralympics, we discuss 3 practical ways to navigate competitive tendencies and build a unified team in your marriage. We also talk about healthy competition, dealing with insecurities, and how to celebrate each other's wins. Don't miss this insightful episode packed with biblical wisdom and real-life stories to help you create a thriving, Christ-centered marriage!   FREE Resources:

In this episode of What Toes Say and How to Say It, we tackle a crucial question: Are you truly willing to do the work to fix your marriage?   Join us as we dive deep into the difference between wanting and being willing, featuring expert insights from licensed professional counselor Kyle Hargrove.   Discover the steps you can take to restore your relationship, the importance of communication, and why showing up isn't enough without intentional action. Get ready to stop complaining and start making real change in your marriage. Don't miss out!

  Welcome back to "What to Say and How to Say It"! I'm Nina Roesner, joined by the incredible Madison Agostini, known for her impactful work with the Respect Dare and the Respectful Wives Club. In this special episode, Madison shares her expertise on building meaningful community connections. Whether you're struggling with loneliness or looking to enhance your existing relationships, Madison's insights will guide you on how to cultivate genuine connections. Tune in to learn practical steps on how to create and deepen your community, and why having strong, supportive relationships can transform your life.

Hey there dog lover! This week on the podcast I am giving you permission to just quit. Yes, I said it. You can quit. Quit all the things Quit the training Quit the walking Quit. If your walks with your dog are miserable or stressful, you can stop. And let's take a breath and a reset. Today, I am discussing what the first steps of a reset will look like for you and your dog. And if you or someone you know is struggling with your fearful or fear-reactive dog, be sure to sign up for my free 2 Day LIVE online event: ⁠Calm Down, Dog! Bootcamp⁠ happening Sept 9-10th 2024. In this Bootcamp we are: going to be discussing why your current training methods aren't giving you the results you want. exploring the #1` most powerful factor that will transform your dog's behaviour uncovering the truth about what it really takes to help your dog feel safe, secure and more confident, without relying on treats, tricks, and training So be sure to sign up today @ ⁠beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp⁠ After you sign up remember to join the Facebook group for all the pre bootcamp fun! See you there! Tracy

Stop walking Aaron Judge! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is like diving into a new world—think of it as the quantum physics of emotions. To truly understand a person with BPD, you have to leave your sense of reality and journey into borderline territory. While navigating relationships can be challenging, there's plenty of hope. This week, we'll explore the emotional and behavioral patterns of BPD and how they often appear in relationships. I have some experience to share on identifying emotional triggers, using effective communication, and taking care of yourself.  Resources mentioned in today's episode: "Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" Psychology Today National Domestic Violence Hotline Child Abuse Hotline Suicide Prevention Hotline Want more content? You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok 

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is more than someone just being emotional or overwhelmed, it is a disorder that can be treated but until it is, it can be very intense in emotions, actions, and mood swings from seemingly "normal" (what is normal, anyway?) to erratic or extreme.  Help is available.  Listen in.   For more help with Borderline Personality Disorder resources, you may consider those mentioned in today's episode: About Us |Online Mindset Coaching | Skeeters Strength Mindset Coaching, the book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger, or Michelle's previous interview of Episode 6 with Rose Skeeters To join the Mental Health for Christian Women Membership Community or further connect with us, Click Here.    

When was the last time you had a truly meaningful conversation? Our society is grappling with a shift. Differences of opinion have always been part of life, but today's culture sees nearly a third of individuals cutting ties over disagreements.   Join Shy and special guest Prof Tim Muehlfhoff as we tackle ending the stalemate of cancel culture and fostering meaningful conversations. Check out End the Stalemate: Move Past Cancel Culture to Meaningful Conversations on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/End-Stalemate-Culture-Meaningful-Conversations/dp/1496481151.   Grab our free pdf, Find Your Voice: 5 Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpactcouples.org

In this episode, The Little Shaman discusses dealing with the unpredictability of narcissistic personalities.   Appointments, Workshops & Free Tools: https://www.littleshaman.org Books by The Little Shaman: https://www.littleshaman.org/products Support the show: https://www.paypal.me/littleshaman Articles by The Little Shaman: https://hubpages.com/sindelle Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic: https://www.littleshaman.org/clinic 

Boundaries can be hard.  But they don't have to be. Join Shy and Nina in this enlightening episode of the "What a Woman Needs in Her Marriage Series," where they delve into practical strategies and insights to help you create and maintain boundaries that foster respect, understanding, and love in your marriage.   Don't miss this opportunity to enhance your relationship and discover the key to a happier, healthier marriage. Grab our free pdf, Find Your Voice: 5 Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpactcouples.org.

Been walking on eggshells much? Caught yourself saying something to avoid hurting your spouse, but wish you could actually tell them? Join Nina and Kyle as they dig into this important topic today!  Grab our free pdf, Find Your Voice: 5 Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpactcouples.org

You are going to love this conversation with this week's guest, Niki French! Today, Niki shares her dog training backstory, and why she decided to write the bestselling book, “STOP walking Your Dog” along with founding the international #dontwalkyourdogday which happens every April 2nd. We dive into how the whole idea - and pressure! - of taking our dogs for walks in the ways that we do is actually a human invention that isn't necessarily the best thing for every dog. Niki also talks through a real-life example of how to help a senior dog with joint issues adjust to a new routine. Niki is a self-described, “dog-mad, people-loving, award-winning dog trainer, author, and podcaster”. After a bicycle accident in 2014 interrupted her 30-year career as an international Sales and Marketing Director (queue the Universe stepping in!) Niki pursued her childhood dream of working with animals. In 2019 she set up Pup Talk and Twickenham Dog Services, in collaboration with her CEO Bodie, a lively Collie Lurcher Cross, that she rescued from Battersea Dogs and Cats Home in London.  Niki's area of expertise is really in helping dog-owners to learn how to leave stress and frustration behind with simple, fun, and transformational games to help build a stronger bond with their pup. If you're anything like me, and the dog walk can be just as stressful for you as it is for your dog, I just know you're going to come away from this episode feeling seen, and with a bunch of new tools for your tool belt!  Even if you don't have a reactive dog like Lucky, you'll gain some really helpful tips and tricks that you can be using to enrich your dog's experience, or to give them something really fun to do when going for a walk isn't an option. You might even want to try out some of these suggestions this coming April 2nd to celebrate and take part in #dontwalkyourdogday To find out more about Niki, her courses, and Don't Walk Your Dog Awareness Day, visit her website: https://puptalk.co.uk Instagram/X/TikTok/Threads @puptalk101 You can also find her amazing podcast, Pup Talk The Podcast on all major platforms, including https://puptalk.libsyn.com/ Please consider using the following affiliate links to purchase Niki's book, ‘Stop Walking Your Dog: A Guide to Training Your Nervous, Reactive, or Over-Excited Pup'. When you do, I may receive a commission on qualifying purchases at no cost to you. This helps support the podcast to keep it running! Amazon USA: https://amzn.to/3PkMVAV Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/3wZRjim And Tricia Hersey's book, “Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto” that I mention can be purchased at the following affiliate link, if you're interested in checking it out: Amazon USA: https://amzn.to/3VHIsMP Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/3IKScOE Finally, a quick note that this episode was sponsored by Aspirationery, which, in full transparency, is another project of mine where we create books, notebooks, and stationery to help you become all you aspire to be. You can check out our shadow work and moon magic journals and workbooks, as well as our popular “My First Period Tracker” for young girls and tweens on Instagram @aspirationery. TIME STAMPS 00:22 INTRO 05:54 Introducing Niki French! 14:00 Finding your mentors, voice, and confidence 16:45 The dog as WOMAN'S best friend + women rising to claim our voices 19:25 Why sometimes not walking your dog might be the best thing for your pup 34:15 Why your dog might have difficulty resting and switching off 41:15 Practical alternatives to the dog walk you can do today 53:00 What Niki suggests for a senior dog with joint issues that needs to reduce his walks, but loves the routine of walks, and how you can apply this to your dog 1:03:40 Practical tips to mix up what a walk looks like 1:06:15 #dontwalkyourdogday Join in the fun on April 2nd! 1:10:45 What dogs have taught Niki about what it means to be human 1:13:32 OUTRO DISCLAIMER: This is not a substitute for medical advice or other relevant professional advice.

Men and women both need a combination of love and respect in their marriage. However, our modern culture has blurred the lines between genders to the point where relationships have become more confusing than ever! Nina Roesner recognizes this, and she has addressed it powerfully in her books and her ministry, Greater Impact Ministries. Nina is the executive director of the program, and she is experienced with coaching married couples who are on the brink of divorce. “Our respect for someone else should be because we're a respectful, godly person not because we judged them as being worthy of it,” she explains. Nina offers pointers on how women can create an environment that allows their husbands to step into their role of Biblical leadership. Check out The Counter Culture Mom: https://counterculturemom.com/ Be sure to grab our free pdf, Find your voice - 5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpactwives.org

Are you ever surprised by the difficulties in your marriage? Today Nina & Kyle Hargrove (LPC) talk about three ways to get your marriage back on track when you run into problems. Be sure to grab our free pdf, Find your voice - 5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpactwives.org

Whether you're personally navigating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or supporting a loved one, relationships can present unique challenges. In this episode, discover actionable strategies to navigate these complexities with finesse and understanding. Join us as we explore practical tips and insights to empower you in fostering healthy connections and thriving relationships despite the challenges posed by BPD. Dr. Skye Fitzpatrick an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology at York University and director of the Treating and Understanding Life-threatening behaviours and Posttraumatic stress (TULiP) lab. She focuses on identifying ways to optimize, expedite, and broaden access to BPD and PTSD treatments on their own and as they co-occur. As Dr. Skye mentioned they are currently recruiting participants for their Feeling Connected Study. Check out their research at ⁠ https://tuliplab.ca/feeling-connected.html ⁠. If you are interested to contact ⁠bpdstudy@yorku.ca⁠ for inquiries. Follow them on social media: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tuliplabyork/⁠ Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/tuliplabyorkuniversity/⁠ ---------------------------------------------------------- This episode is proudly sponsored by ⁠⁠⁠Hope for BPD⁠⁠⁠ Hope For BPD is that resource, a beacon of hope. Whether you're personally affected by BPD, or you're supporting a loved one through their journey, this platform is here to assist you every step of the way. Hope For BPD provides confidential and compassionate treatment consultation, information and research about evidence-based treatments, ongoing solution-focused and nonjudgmental support for individuals with BPD and family members, and more. Visit⁠⁠⁠ https://www.hopeforbpd.com/⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about their services, and to find that glimmer of hope you've been looking for. ---------------------------------------------------------- Thank you so much for tuning into this Show! If you've enjoyed it then share, subscribe, and leave a review if you haven't already :) Join us on social media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@bpdbravery⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠ and feel free to contact me via email at braverybpd@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bpd-bravery/support

David and Susan both felt super frustrated with how they went about trying to solve problems. Seems like every conversation blew up in their faces with both of them hurling insults at each other. Sound familiar? There is a way to navigate conflict confidently and solve the problems in your marriage.  Join Nina and Kyle as they dig into this all-too-common topic today!  Grab our pdf “5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells” off our website at https://greaterimpact.org

When Tina and Greg got married, like most couples, they seemed to agree on everything and didn't have arguments. Two years into the marriage, they started have issues and didn't know what to do. So they started the pattern of avoidance and then blowing up. What happened? Listen to this episode as Nina and Kyle explore the causes and the solutions. Be sure to grab our free pdf: Find Your Voice, 5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpact.org

When God makes a promise, He keeps it. But sometimes, we lose faith in the waiting. In this message, we'll look at a moment when God gave Israel a very interesting battle strategy. What can we learn from the Walls of Jericho? God's promises have purpose. God's methods are unique. And God's promises require faith. Don't stop walking because God's not done!

Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells around your partner? When you feel like you have to be extremely careful about what you say, otherwise your partner will blow up, get defensive, or feel hurt, something has to change. So what's your path forward? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast.  You'll learn:  What causes us to walk on eggshells in a relationship Why this dynamic is bad for you, your partner, and your connection How to communicate in a way that minimizes defensiveness When it's time to get help for your relationship.  I hope this episode helps you reflect on why you're feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, and some strategies for building a relationship where you can be open and authentic — because that is what you deserve.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — This is a pattern that's best tackled with help from a relationship expert. Schedule your free consulation with a Growing Self couples counselor. 

Carol sat stunned in silence as she read the paperwork the deputy handed her. She knew she had overreacted to Jessie's spending too much money on a golf tournament... she knew she had upset him when he left that day, now a week ago. She had no idea he would file for divorce, however. Her chest tightened, stomach knotting, and her voice escaped her.  Don't find yourself in Carol's shoes. If you are dealing with emotionality in your marriage, know if you don't handle it the escalation will continue! Listen in as Kyle and Nina talk through the three ways emotionality is destroying your marriage. Be sure to grab our free pdf: Find Your Voice, 5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpact.org

Emma and Jack are facing a problem they didn't even realize they had: not understanding each other's feelings about respect. Emma, busy with work, felt ignored, while Jack, taking care of their home, wanted appreciation. This led to tension until they figured out what the problem was. To learn more about respect in relationships, check out this episode. Discover how a small change can make a big difference and learn the secrets to a happy marriage! Listen to this episode as Nina and Kyle explore the causes and the solutions. Be sure to grab our free pdf: Find Your Voice, 5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells at https://greaterimpact.org

They say it is a safety measure. www.patreon.com/stevelehto

Today we have special guest Katie Millar-Wirig to discuss Becoming a Mean, Teen, Parenting Machine. Creating a happy and emotionally healthy teenager begins with interactions with parents. The Parenting Machine reveals the keys to transforming your relationship with your adolescent children. Teenagers are a maze of emotions and many parents are throwing up their arms wondering what happened to their sweet, obedient child. Taking it back to the basics, mother and educator Katie M. Wirig demonstrates how to implement tried and true principles that will ensure results. Break free from reactive parenting by focusing on topics such as: How to have hard conversations How to build reciprocal trust Preventing emotional burnout in your teens Using real life experiences from parents and educators alike. Those who apply these principles will enjoy happier and more peaceful homes. Check out the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Parenting-Machine-step-step-ebook/dp/B0BWGTVP11. Be sure to grab our free pdf of our website, https://greaterimpact.org, and Stop Walking on Eggshells today!

Chapter 1 What's Stop Walking on Eggshells"Stop Walking on Eggshells" is a self-help book written by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger. The book primarily focuses on providing guidance for individuals who have a loved one with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It aims to help readers understand the disorder and its impact on relationships, while also offering practical strategies for setting boundaries, improving communication, and taking care of oneself.Chapter 2 Why is Stop Walking on Eggshells Worth ReadStop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason is worth reading for several reasons:1. Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): The book provides valuable insights into BPD, a complex mental health condition characterized by unstable mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. By reading this book, individuals can gain a better understanding of the disorder and its impact on individuals diagnosed with BPD and their loved ones.2. Practical Advice and Strategies: Mason offers practical advice and strategies for dealing with and communicating with individuals who have BPD. The book provides insights into the common behaviors and patterns of individuals with BPD and offers guidance on how to interact with empathy, set boundaries, and increase communication effectiveness.3. Validation and Empathy: Stop Walking on Eggshells emphasizes the importance of empathy and validation when dealing with individuals with BPD. It helps readers develop a deeper understanding of the emotional turmoil experienced by individuals with BPD, encouraging empathy and compassion rather than judgment.4. Support for Family and Loved Ones: The book offers support and guidance for family members and loved ones who are often caught in the emotional roller coaster of living with someone with BPD. It helps them understand the challenges they face and provides strategies for self-care and setting healthy boundaries.5. Well-Researched and Authoritative: Paul T. Mason is an experienced clinician well-versed in the field of personality disorders and has co-founded the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder. The book is based on both Mason's personal experiences and extensive research, making it a reliable and authoritative resource on BPD.Chapter 3 Stop Walking on Eggshells Summary"Stop Walking on Eggshells" is a self-help book written by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger. The book primarily focuses on understanding and dealing with people who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) or other similar conditions that cause emotional instability and erratic behavior.The authors provide a comprehensive overview of BPD, its symptoms, and its impact on relationships. They explain how individuals with BPD often engage in self-destructive behavior, have intense mood swings, struggle with self-identity, and have difficulty controlling their emotions. They discuss how these traits affect their interactions with others and can create a walking-on-eggshells environment for their loved ones.The book offers advice and strategies for handling situations with someone with BPD. It teaches readers how to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and maintain their own emotional well-being. It emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-compassion, as well as seeking professional help when necessary.Furthermore, "Stop Walking on Eggshells" provides practical tips for validating the feelings and experiences of individuals with BPD without enabling their destructive behaviors. It encourages readers to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, by considering the person's underlying emotions and trauma.Overall, the book aims to empower readers by providing...

Welcome to Episode 142 of the Being Human Podcast: How to Start Healing an Unhealthy Relationship (A Relationship Series, Part Five) This week, Dr. Greg follows up on last week's episode about the warning signs of emotional abuse to answer the question “What can I do if my relationship is unhealthy?” In this episode, he breaks open three practical steps you can take to help you navigate through the challenges of a difficult relationship.   Highlights from the episode:  The subtlety and invisibility of emotional and psychological abuse;  How the parts of us that believe “if only the other person would change, my life would be better” can overshadow other more helpful parts;  Free will and self-determination as integral parts of our humanity that cannot be taken away;  The importance of identifying where we still have freedom to make a choice; The fruitlessness of attempting to change another person's behavior;  Understanding boundaries as necessary when making decisions in and about a relationship;  How there can be parts of us that put up roadblocks to our growth and development due to fear; The way we react, respond, and participate in relational dynamics as a result of our personality formed in childhood;  Growth in self-awareness as essential in the process of healing;  How courage and greater strength come from support and community.    Resources mentioned or relevant: Last week's episode: Seven Signs of Emotional Abuse (A Relationship Series, Part Four);  Need help? Schedule a free consultation call with someone on our team to discuss how we can support you; Past episodes on Internal Family Systems and parts work:  Ep. #34: A New Theory! with a Catholic Lens  Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Parts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski;  More about the Catholic Mindfulness Virtual Retreat; Books:  Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life; Stop Walking on Eggshells; Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning; Become a member of the Integrated Life Community to get access to every course Dr. Greg has created, plus the opportunity to participate in Integrated LIVE's - weekly, Mentor hosted Q&As covering topics like boundaries, communication, trauma, forgiveness, and more! Download The Integrated App for access to free audio exercises, courses, prayer resources, and more; Learn about IDDM (Mentorship), our new model of accompaniment; Sign up for Being Human, our weekly newsletter, to stay up to date on the exciting developments at CatholicPsych; Visit our website to read the CatholicPsych blog, shop in the CatholicPsych bookshop, or discover other resources we have available; Join the waitlist to be notified about our next Open House to learn more about the new CPMAP certification!   Contact us! Have a topic or a question you would like Dr. Greg to address on the podcast? Want to give some feedback about this episode? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com - we would love to hear from you!   Rate, review, and subscribe Please help us in our mission to integrate the Faith with Psychology by hitting subscribe and also sharing this podcast with your friends. Please consider rating or leaving a review of our show. It helps us reach other Catholics just like you who want to become more integrated, whole, and happy human beings. For Apple podcasts, click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate 5 stars, and choose “write a review.” Then type your sincere thoughts about the show! If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any episodes. Subscribe to the podcast now!  

How do we declutter the relationships in our lives that no longer serve us? And how do we create boundaries around the relationships we want (or need) to keep so we can reclaim our precious time and energy? Today we are diving into these topics and much more with my guest Jen Rogers. Jen is a wife, mom, stepmom, daughter of the King of Kings, inspirational speaker, #1 Amazon best-selling author, certified professional life coach, and a pickle ball lover! She is also the podcast host of the top 1.5% globally ranked podcast Bold & Blended Stepmoms, where she helps Christian stepmoms Prevent Stepmom Burnout, Stop Walking on Eggshells, and End 2nd Wife Imposter Syndrome for good. She is passionate about equipping women to reclaim their identity in Jesus and preventing re-divorce. Resources Mentioned: Connect with Jen on her website, her podcast Bold & Blended Stepmoms, or join her free Brave Stepmom Community Grab her free resource Top 10 Tips to Prevent Stepmom Burnout Have a question about decluttering, simplifying, systems, or anything else we talk about on the podcast? You can now leave me a voice message here. Scroll to the bottom and look for the microphone and the bottom that says START RECORDING. Who knows, your question may be answered on an upcoming episode! *** I help moms declutter their homes, heads, and hearts. Contact - > info@simplebyemmy.com  Podcast -＞ www.simplebyemmy.com/podcast Learn -＞ www.simplebyemmy.com/resources  Connect -＞ Join our free Facebook group Decluttering Tips and Support for Overwhelmed Moms Instagram -＞ @simplebyemmy and @momsovercomingoverwhelm   *** Don't Know Where to Start? *** 5 Steps to Overcome Overwhelm -＞ https://simplebyemmy.com/5steps/ 5 Mindset Shifts for Decluttering -＞ https://simplebyemmy.com/mindset/ Wanna work with me to kick overwhelm to the curb, mama? There are three options for you! Step 1: Join a supportive community of moms plus decluttering challenges to keep you on track at the free Facebook group Decluttering Tips and Support for Overwhelmed Moms Step 2: Grab a free 10-minute discovery call at https://calendly.com/simplebyemmy/discovery Step 3: Get more personalized support with in-person or virtual decluttering coaching! www.simplebyemmy.com/coaching

Chuck Scrivner is a leader in his community and a man who once received a diagnosis that could have changed his life forever... and it did - but not in the way you think.    If you would like your own set of battle cards you can email Chuck at charlesscrivner@gmail.com   Follow 2 Lead Coaching https://www.follow2leadcoaching.com/   Spirit and Truth Substack https://spiritandtruth.substack.com/   Tony on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/twmilt/   Be sure to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reclamation-podcast-reclaiming-good-practices-for-following/id1429933082

I wouldn't wish borderline personality disorder on anyone – it's a truly difficult and chaotic way to live life. Yet it's just as difficult to be in relationship with someone who lives their life on an emotional roller coaster. Today we're going to focus on how you can set boundaries with folks who have borderline traits (I'll also go over the traits themselves). We'll focus specifically on having a parent with borderline PD – but these suggestions could also help if your friend or cousin or sibling suffers from the disorder. I'm pulling from some extremely well-written articles as well as my own experience with patients – and those links you'll be able to find in the show notes.. The listener voicemail is tough to listen to and involves murder – so please realize this may be a trigger for you. It's from a woman who's deeply grieving her daughter's actions as well as the deaths of grandchildren - and blames herself – or feels guilt – for not knowing how to help. I'll do my best to answer… Vital Links: Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens - now AG1 - with bonus product with your subscription! Have you been putting off getting help in 2023? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! Mayo Clinic's list of signs and symptoms Psychology Today article, Matthew Hutson Article by Megan Glosson from The Mighty Books on Borderline Personality Disorder: Understanding the Borderline Mother, Stop Walking on Eggshells, and I Hate You Don't Leave Me.  You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you'd like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook! And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You'll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you're giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I'll look forward to hearing from you! Episode Transcript This is SelfWork. And I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. At SelfWork. We'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world and what to do about them. I'm Dr. Margaret and SelfWork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own selfwork. Hello and welcome or welcome back to SelfWork. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. I'm a clinical psychologist and I started SelfWork almost seven years ago in order to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who might already be very interested in psychological and emotional issues, maybe you're even in therapy, would would appreciate the comments from another therapist or thoughts or to those of you who might be looking for answers. Maybe you've just been diagnosed with a mental illness or you have a loved one that you're concerned about. But also to those of you who are bit skeptical about the whole mental health thing, this is for you and I so appreciate every one of you being here. You know, I wouldn't wish borderline personality disorder on anyone. It's a truly difficult and chaotic way to live life, but it's just as difficult to be in relationship with someone who lives their life on this kind of emotional rollercoaster. Today we're gonna focus on how you can set boundaries with people who have borderline traits. And I'll also go over the traits themselves. We'll focus specifically on having a parent with borderline personality, but these suggestions would also help if your loved one is a friend or a cousin or a sibling that suffers from the disorder. I'm pulling from some extremely well written articles as well as my own experience with patients and those links you'll be able to find in the show notes. I discovered a wonderful article on the Mighty written by someone with borderline who offered what I thought were creative and very helpful tips on how the individual themselves can set boundaries with themselves that allow them to slow down, be less reactive, and thus create less chaos. The listener voicemail is tough to listen to and involves murder. So please realize this may be a trigger for you. It's from a woman who's deeply grieving her daughter's actions as well as the deaths of grandchildren and blames herself or feels guilt for not knowing how to help. I'll do my best to answer. I wanna announce that for a few weeks now, self self-work has offered transcripts for episodes which we hope will offer the hearing impaired or anyone who might wanna read the actual transcript. What I hope is that those folks who wanna do their selfwork will now be able to read it. Before we get started, let's hear from the top online therapy provider. Better Help. Research continues to show by the way that online therapy is as effective as in-person and is far more convenient and doable for many. I recently heard a fascinating reframe for the idea of asking for help. Maybe you view asking for help as something someone does who's falling apart or who isn't strong. So consider this. What if asking for help means that you won't let anything get in your way of solving an issue, finding out an answer or discovering a better direction? Asking for help is much more about your determination to recognize what needs your attention or what is getting in your way of having the life you want better help. The number one online therapy provider makes reaching out about as easy as it can get. Within 48 hours, you'll have a professional licensed therapist with whom you can text, email, or talk with to guide you, and you're not having to comb through therapist websites or drive to appointments. It's convenient, inexpensive, and readily available. Now you can find a therapist that fits your needs with better help, and if you use the code or link Better help.com/self work, you get 10% off your first month of sessions. So just do it. You'll be glad you did. That. Link again is better help.com/self work to get 10% off your first month of services. So let's answer the most obvious question first, what are borderline traits? Here's the Mayo Clinic's list of signs and symptoms, and I'm adding my own comments about what that might look like in real life. So here's number one, an intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection. Now when they say extreme, it can be very extreme. I once worked with a man, happened to be a doctor who'd been so emotionally abused by a wife with borderline that he was divorcing her. He drove from another city to see me because she'd follow him, threaten him with bizarre threats and leave frightening troubled notes or dead animals to try to prevent the divorce from happening. This was very serious. Now obviously she had severe borderline and borderline is on a spectrum just like everything else in mental health, but this fear of abandonment is really, really strong. Number two is a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care or is cruel. So you can go from the best friend ever, the best child ever, if it's your parent, the best therapist ever to the worst, just imagine what it might be like to truly feel that way, the way the borderline feels. And of course when you're on the receiving end, and if you are a child, it's highly confusing and can feel very manipulative. Number three is rapid changes in self-identity and self-image. That includes shifting goals and values and seeing yourself as bad or as you don't exist at all. What I've found is that questions will be asked like, do I matter at all? For example, years ago I had a client who'd leave this message on my voicemail, "Call me back if you want to." So if I called back, I obviously wanted to reflecting that it was soothing to her that it wasn't my job to call her back, but cause I cared about her. And of course the opposite of that would be if I didn't call her back, at least not immediately, it would mean to her I didn't care and the client could even feel that she didn't exist for me. And so they can set themselves up by this need for reassurance. And also when they don't get it in the way they want it, they can feel as if they don't exist. They're not important, they're bad, whatever. Number four is periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality lasting from a few minutes to a few hours. Now this is the case for truly severe cases of borderline. I'd say what happens more often is that the person with borderline personality disorder frequently disassociate likely due to previous abuse.And so it's become a way for them to de-stress. Dissociating means that your minds sort of goes someplace else and you feel like you're not really in your body. Daydreaming is a mild form of dissociating. But people with a lot of abuse in their histories, their minds have dissociated from the abuse when the abuse was happening as a way to protect themselves. Here's the next one, impulsive and risky behavior such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex spending, sprees, binge eating or drug abuse or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship. Now this trait can be confused with bipolar disorder and does have quite a few similarities, but when the mania is over, someone with bipolar disorder will see the damage as damage. Someone with borderline personality disorder may not. Most of this is due of course, to the fact that they are governed by their emotions. So if they wanna do it, if they feel like it's an impulse at the time that they wanna do or they'll spend the money or they'll drive recklessly it's sex they wanna have, then they'll do it no matter what the impact on them is or other people. Actually. The next one is suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection. This is very, very common. Cutting is often a part of this or burning yourself. Another is hitting their heads against something repeatedly. And of course what someone with borderline personality disorder might tell you is that when they cut, they're actually trying to distract themselves from their deep emotional pain. It relieves the depth of their emotional pain by feeling physical pain. Other borderlines have told me that they don't feel anything when they cut. So it is truly a dissociative, like we were talking before, it's a dissociative behavior. Here's the next. Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame, or anxiety. Again, this really mimics bipolar disorder. Here's a very important one, ongoing feelings of emptiness. I had the same, "call me if you want to" client tell me her soul felt like it was a black hole. In my work with borderline personality, I often used the image of creating a safe sponge in your soul. So when something positive comes your way, you can absorb it instead of being lost in that black hole and you lose the existence of whatever positivity there was. But of course, someone with borderline may also or more often absorbed the negative. That's why the sponge idea has to be linked with positive feedback. And then the last is inappropriate intense anger such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter or having physical fights. So those are the major signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Now your next question could easily be how does someone develop B P D? The only answer is that its cause seems to have multiple levels, multiple facets because we don't know. It may be from early trauma, very poor attachment, never feeling safe. There are many in fact who feel that dissociative identity disorder or what used to be called multiple personality disorder is really a severe borderline disorder where in your past your safety was so compromised that you literally had to break into another sense of self or another persona to handle the stress of no safety. Think of it as something getting heavier and heavier to hold. So you have to use both hands. As the stress increases with the horror in this case, increases, your mind creates another self to help with the weight of that horror. And so doing your mind stays more stable, although you are now "broken" into two personas. Much less severe is the person who may feel as if they morph into different aspects of themselves. Not two different names or identities, but again, those symptoms we discussed of changing values or identities is tied into dissociation so early trauma can cause it. Then there's genetic inheritance, although genetic factors are being ruled out in other areas. So I'm not sure on this one. Now these behaviors can also be learned if you had a parent with borderline, you can absorb and mimic those beliefs and behaviors. But what I really wanna say is that it's a miserable way to live. And obviously if you are a child of someone with borderline, it's very confusing and very complicated. But let's move on to trying to love and relate to someone with borderline personality disorder. We'll talk about that right after we hear from AG1. Our next partner is AG1, the daily foundational nutrition supplement that supports whole body health. I drink it literally every day. I gave a G one a try because I wanted a single solution that supports my entire body and covers my nutritional bases every day. I wanted better gut health, a boost in energy immune system support. I take it in the morning before starting my day and I make sure and leave it out for my husband because he tends to forget. I love knowing that I'm starting my day so incredibly well and I wouldn't change a thing because it's really helped me the last two or three years I've taken it. And here's a fact, since 2010, they've improved their formula 52 times in the pursuit of making this nutrition supplement possible and the best it can be. So if you wanna take ownership of your health, it starts with ag one. Try ag one and get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free ag one travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drink ag one.com/ self-work, and that's a new link. Drink ag one.com/ self-work. Check it out. Okay, let's get down to setting those boundaries. Many of the authors and researchers who write about borderline personality say it's helpful to see the different kinds of people with borderline traits. If you've listened to SelfWork a lot, I did an episode a while back on the different categories of narcissism. So this is similar we should say here, and in fact I probably should have said it in the beginning. There do seem to be more females with borderline than males. The reason for that is unknown. So let's talk about those types or categories of borderline. Christine Lawson, author of Understanding the Borderline Mother has a taxonomy of the troubled parent. There are four of them, the waif, the hermit, the queen and the witch. In a Psychology Today article, a man named Matthew Hudson writes, "The queen is controlling, the witch is sadistic, the hermit is fearful and the wave is helpless." Why is this important? Because the way they may have of interacting with you is going to look and feel different from one another. And so each requires a different approach. Again, I'm still quoting Matthew Hudson. "Don't let the queen get the upper hand. Be wary even of accepting gifts because it engenders expectations. Don't internalize the hermit spheres or you'll become limited by them. Don't allow yourself to be alone with a witch. Maintain distance for your own emotional and physical safety. The witch is probably the most sadistic and even sociologically pathological kind of personality, and the wife don't get pulled into her crises and sense of victimization". Lawson says, "Pay attention to your own tendencies to want to rescue her, which just feeds the dynamic." But all that said, what does loving someone with borderline personality feel like and what can you do? Often the chief of motion you have to deal with and learn how to confront is guilt. Let's say your phone rings, you look down and her name appears on your screen. Sadly, you dread clicking over and then comes the guilt you history with her rushes into your mind as you wait for one more ring, you're reminded of all the times that you've rushed her aside, comforted her and told her you'd be there for her while realizing over time that your caring would never be enough to shore up her fragile self-worth. Or you think of how you've watched as she's made one impulsive choice after another, while blaming others, including you. For the chaos of her life, you've had to set boundaries against which she constantly pushes, ultimately accusing you of not caring when she senses your fatigue. Perhaps you've heard thinly veiled hints of self-harm followed by admonitions that she doesn't know how long she could continue like this. Maybe there are sudden unexplainable times when you felt that your love for her was reciprocated in an intense, almost intoxicating way, yet almost as quickly as it arrives, that warm glow that you feel disappears in a cloud of sudden anger or irrational disappointment that's coming at you. Even more confusing is that others who know her in the community may adore her. They have a clue about how draining this relationship can be for you and would find your reality nearly unbelievable as she can often be quite popular and well loved by coworkers, neighbors, and even strangers. You see, structure offers her a scaffolding, a role to play, and if she's the teacher or the supervisor, she can shine, but she lacks the empathy needed for closer, more intimate relationships. What this means, again, is that with structure, someone with borderline personality disorder, when that structure is provided for her, when she knows what her role is, what her duties are, what her responsibilities are, she can follow those rules exactly and be beloved, be kind, be enthusiastic. But when she leaves that structure and has to build her own, that's where she can fall apart. And so she's not a good mother or she's not a good friend. In fact, she could be an awful friend or an awful mother no matter who she is, whether she's your mom, your sister, your partner, your friend, you can become exhausted and your own guilt can be unrelenting. And guess what? She'll encourage that. So what does guilt sound like inside your head? "She's my mother. She raised me the best way she could. I owe her and she's getting older and isn't able to care for herself." Or, "She's my daughter. I'll never forget the day I saw her for the first time. So tiny, so trusting, she deserves the same kind of relationship I have with the other kids", but she's not like your other kids. "Even though she's my ex, I don't know how she'd treat the kids if she felt like I wasn't there for her.She flipped out when we got divorced. I can't totally abandon her ever. It's wreaking havoc between me and my now wife who of course she detests" And one more. "She was my best friend when no one else would talk to me in the eighth grade. She was there always. So why do I shudder at the thought of simply talking with her?" Now you can hear it. Guilt. Guilt and more guilt, In I hate you. Don't leave me the classic book on borderline personality disorder. The author state, "The borderline shifts her personality like a rotating kaleidoscope, rearranging the fragmented glass of her being into different formations". That's what we were talking about before, right? Like a chameleon, she transforms herself into any shape that she imagines will please the viewer. That's why you can think you know her, but then when you try to develop an intimate or emotionally intimate relationship with her, all of these other traits that we talked about begin to come out. In fact, it could actually be uncanny how well someone with borderline traits can assess your own internal struggles and use those very issues to manipulate you. For example, if you're someone who takes responsibility for your actions very seriously, she may subtly or not so subtly insinuate you're falling down on the job or question whether you know what you're doing. A lot of times if I had a borderline client, maybe I hadn't slept the night before and I was a little fatigued, and she would look at me and she'd say, "Oh, you know what? We don't have to meet today. You look kind of tired." You could hear that she's zoned in on my fatigue already and she's trying to see if I'm going to tell her, "You're right, you're not important to me. Let's call off this session". Or "Of course you're important to me even though my fatigue is showing." It's a setup, but they don't realize it's a setup. That's what's important to know. As someone who's lived and tried to love someone with this struggle, you can only be responsible for that which you can control. I wanna say that sentence again. You may be someone who's lived and tried to love someone with this borderline struggle, but you must remember you can only be responsible for that which you can control. You've probably tried multiple times to get your loved one help. And what does she do? She stops taking her meds, she gets involved with another bad relationship, or she doesn't return your text after she's threatened suicide one more time. Perhaps she even denies that she has a problem at all pointing the finger at you and stating you're not, not trying hard enough at the relationship. So here are some steps to minimize that guilt and establish those boundaries we talked about in the title of this episode. What you need to do is one, face the fear of your own helplessness in this relationship by predicting the most feared outcome, most likely suicide or some kind of highly dramatic action and decide how you would handle it. This sort of anticipatory grief or anticipation of the worst helps you develop some kind of armor to it. I know what's probably going to happen and I won't be as hurt by it. Number two, assess whether or not she's capable of physically hurting you. Is that a rational fear on your part? If it is, seek advice from a lawyer or in an emergency, the mental health emergency services in your area if you have any. Number three, try to objectively see the damage caused to you and to other family members because someone with borderline is not going to understand the impact of her actions. You need to journal about it and see how your acknowledgement of that may influence your future actions. But you have to claim, yes, I've been hurt, my children have been hurt, whatever it is. Here's number four. Give her back the responsibility for her own life. For example, when she calls with another crisis, say, I know you'll find a way to cope with this and get off the phone. Again, that's giving her back the responsibility for her own life and likely she'll do okay. Now, she may call you back in 20 seconds or 20 minutes, but you just have to keep reassuring her, you know you've got what it takes to handle this. Knowing that she may respond by doing some dramatic action. That's what we talked about at the very beginning. Number five is you wanna provide empathy but not sympathy. You wanna set up strict boundaries for communication, especially around hot topic issues, and then be available. If she does indeed, follow those guidelines. Give her feedback about the positives in the relationship and what you appreciate about her. You want to know and to remember that she's probably in many ways not realizing her impact again, but you don't wanna feel sorry for her, but you can have empathy for what that must feel like. Number six, you wanna grieve the relationship that could have been acknowledge and feel the pain of that loss. Again, journaling can be very helpful here. Number seven, realize she may never have the capacity of understanding the impact she's having on you. She's not withholding something from you, she's likely not capable of giving it. So if you stop expecting that from her, perhaps she won't get hurt. Number eight is get support from others who understand or have walked the same walk. Again, books like Understanding the borderline mother, stop walking on eggshells and I hate you Don't leave me provide great strategies. And number nine, and perhaps the most important, have compassion for yourself. But now quickly, I want to add in some advice from an author who has borderline personality disorder herself and offer some steps for the borderline to set their own boundaries. It's a woman named Megan Glosson, and I found this on The Mighty. So this is boundary setting for the borderline herself. You wanna maintain a two-sided conversation where you listen as well as talk. So focus on listening. You want to ask people if they have the emotional bandwidth to talk to you before you start divulging something serious or telling them how dysregulated you're coming, how upset you are. Don't answer phone calls and don't text messages during your work or sleep hours. You want to pause before you respond in conversations. When you feel yourself growing what she calls dysregulated again, upset, unstable, angry, whatever it is, you wanna take certain situations to your therapist for coaching before you simply react emotionally. You get to practice with your therapist. I loved this idea. You wanna create a list with your family members of off limit topics or friends who don't agree with your perspective and you know you're just gonna argue about it. So there's a list of topics that you agree not to talk about. You can say no to requests that feel uncomfortable or may lead to poor decisions on your part. And then this last one I really liked. You could ask people to not use your diagnosis of borderline as a weapon or an excuse to treat you poorly. And that's exactly right. Now again, some of that may be things you're perceiving erroneously, but that's not fair for someone to say, you know, you've got borderline personality disorder, you're crazy. That's gonna go nowhere. So I thought this was wonderful advice. And from someone who knows how hard it is to live with borderline personality disorder, you can hear the pragmatism in her suggestions. Stop, wait, think, then act. I'll end with this. When I have someone as a client with borderline personality, I'll suggest they ask themselves the question, will this likely create chaos? Now, the definition of chaos might need a little work, but overall, you want to help someone stop and wait and think through things, and that's vital to healing. And if you're trying to love someone with borderline personality disorder and if they have any sense of how their behavior is impacting you and their relationships, perhaps this is a list you want to share with them. And then perhaps you could apply the stop, wait, think, and then act to yourself. Speak pipe message from dr margaret rutherford.com. Let's hear from the listener voicemail for today. Again, a warning is about a murder of two children. Please don't listen if that will act as a trigger for you. Good morning. I woke up feeling guilty this morning because I wasn't able to or didn't know how to help my daughter. At her darkest moments. She wanted to kill herself and I didn't know how to help. She ended up killing her two kids and she attempted to kill herself as well. Her relationship with the kids' father was terrible. She never asked for help. She really put up a front that everything was really good. I live in California, she lived in Las Vegas, but she never said anything and I feel really, really guilty about that. I'm very sad. So the past two years I had my two grandkids pass away, and this year my mother passed away. I've worked with parents and even grandparents who've lost children to murder, but for the mom to kill these children, that's obviously a deep, deep illness or pathology. I could guess that maybe she was hearing voices that told her to kill. That's called psychosis and the proper term is auditory hallucinations. But there's another term for killing your children. It's called philide. The most common factors are depression, including postpartum depression, psychosis, prior mental health treatment, and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it can happen because a mother believes death is in the child's best interest or she can have delusions. And again, she may be hearing these command hallucinations that tell her to kill. This can occur as a result of cumulative child abuse, neglect, or what's called Munchhausen syndrome by proxy. We won't go into that today. It's too long . Maybe I'll do an episode on it. And actually sometimes it's a very selfish mother who believes her kid as a hindrance. We've recently heard about a woman who killed children because they weren't following her particular religious views where she saw them as filled with the devil. And this is the rarest, a mother who kills as an act of revenge against the child's father. But whatever the reason or the pathology behind it, it's horrific for those who've loved all of them. And this mama also tried to kill herself or it looked like she did this kind of grief that's also accompanied by absolute horror. To use that word again, is so very complicated. I'm certainly going to recommend that this listener gets someone to talk to about the guilt she carries since her daughter didn't look sick. Then it's likely that she kept secret whatever was really going on with her. It could have been postpartum depression or some kind of depression that she hid. Perhaps more will be discovered. But until then, the guilt that you didn't see, this is something that I've seen as a part of many types of grief that occur from sudden loss. The fact is, your daughter didn't want you to see it. She didn't want anyone, it sounds like to see it or to see her. I'm so sorry for your loss and sad for all involved, but please turn to a therapist who knows how to work through this kind of trauma with you. Thank you all for being here today. I know there are many ways you can spend your time and having you here at self-work means so very much. Don't forget my Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/ selfwork, and please leave me a rating, a review wherever you listen. I cannot tell you how important that is and how absolutely grateful I feel when I see a new review. Thank you again for being here. Please take very good care of yourself, your family, and your community. I'm Dr. Margaret and this has been SelfWork.      

The Chicago White Sox could not stop Shohei Ohtani and Michael Kopech could not stop walking batters. The White Sox lost to the Angels by a score of 4-2. Shohei Ohtani hit two homeruns and struck out 10 Sox batters in 6+ innings of work. Not bad for one evening. Sox offense was lifeless again until the 9th inning. With one already home, the Sox managed to load the bases with nobody out and could not execute. It was heartbreaking but an all too familiar scene. Tim Anderson and Luis Robert Jr. were each 0-for-4 with three strikeouts. Michael Kopech only lasted four innings. He had little control and little confidence as he walked seven in yet another brief outing. At the halfway point of the season, the White Sox are thirteen games under .500 and six games out in the AL Central.Support Us By Supporting Our Sponsors!eBay MotorsFor parts that fit, head to eBay Motors and look for the green check. Stay in the game with eBay Guaranteed Fit. eBay Motors dot com. Let's ride. eBay Guaranteed Fit only available to US customers. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.GametimeDownload the Gametime app, create an account, and use code LOCKEDONMLB for $20 off your first purchase.FanDuelMake Every Moment More. Don't miss the chance to get your No Sweat First Bet up to TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS in Bonus Bets when you go FanDuel.com/LOCKEDON.FANDUEL DISCLAIMER: 21+ in select states. First online real money wager only. Bonus issued as nonwithdrawable free bets that expires in 14 days. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit FanDuel.com/RG (CO, IA, MD, MI, NJ, PA, IL, VA, WV), 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 (AZ), 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-9-WITH-IT (IN), 1-800-522-4700 (WY, KS) or visit ksgamblinghelp.com (KS), 1-877-770-STOP (LA), 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY), TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Chicago White Sox could not stop Shohei Ohtani and Michael Kopech could not stop walking batters. The White Sox lost to the Angels by a score of 4-2. Shohei Ohtani hit two homeruns and struck out 10 Sox batters in 6+ innings of work. Not bad for one evening. Sox offense was lifeless again until the 9th inning. With one already home, the Sox managed to load the bases with nobody out and could not execute. It was heartbreaking but an all too familiar scene. Tim Anderson and Luis Robert Jr. were each 0-for-4 with three strikeouts. Michael Kopech only lasted four innings. He had little control and little confidence as he walked seven in yet another brief outing. At the halfway point of the season, the White Sox are thirteen games under .500 and six games out in the AL Central. Support Us By Supporting Our Sponsors! eBay Motors For parts that fit, head to eBay Motors and look for the green check. Stay in the game with eBay Guaranteed Fit. eBay Motors dot com. Let's ride. eBay Guaranteed Fit only available to US customers. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply. Gametime Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code LOCKEDONMLB for $20 off your first purchase. FanDuel Make Every Moment More. Don't miss the chance to get your No Sweat First Bet up to TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS in Bonus Bets when you go FanDuel.com/LOCKEDON. FANDUEL DISCLAIMER: 21+ in select states. First online real money wager only. Bonus issued as nonwithdrawable free bets that expires in 14 days. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit FanDuel.com/RG (CO, IA, MD, MI, NJ, PA, IL, VA, WV), 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 (AZ), 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-9-WITH-IT (IN), 1-800-522-4700 (WY, KS) or visit ksgamblinghelp.com (KS), 1-877-770-STOP (LA), 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY), TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From 3 meltdowns/DAY to 2/WEEK!  THAT'S A 90% DECREASE!  Parents of 2 kids ages 3 + under, Jaclyn + Ryan, are SPILLING THE BEANS - sharing all sorts of insider secrets, insight and advice after graduating my program, Wholeheartedly CALM!I pick their brain, digging for what takeaways stuck with them, how their mindset shifted, and how different life is now, including NO LONGER walking on eggshells.IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...The "Game-Changers" they attribute their success toWhat they thought it'd be like VS. What it wasThe mantras bouncing around in their heads to this dayDON'T MISS:The term they coined for me! :)// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //Website: parentingwholeheartedly.comIG: @parent_wholeheartedlyAPPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/applyFREE CONSULT: wholeheartedly.as.me/callYou're invited to my 100% FREE Parenting Class teaching you the ONE tool that UNLOCKS cooperation in strong-willed kids and STOPS a meltdown before it starts!LIVE: Tuesday, July 11th - 11 AM Pacific / 1:00 PM Central / 2 PM EasternSAVE YOUR SEAT:www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/game-changerSupport the show*FREE* MASTERCLASS: Learn how to CONFIDENTLY parent your strong-willed child WITHOUT threats, bribes or giving in altogether so you can BREAK FREE of power struggles + guilt www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/unapologeticwww.parentingwholeheartedly.com

CREEPYPASTA STORY-►0:00 "If you see a girl drinking rainwater, run" Creepypasta►23:15 "Some old Disneyland rumors are true" Creepypasta►42:40 "We accidentally started a myth" Creepypasta►1:04:51 "My time as a prison guard may be short lived" Creepypasta►1:35:49 "My best friend's family has strange rituals" Creepypasta►1:54:34 "If you see this woman on the side of the road. Don't offer her a ride" Creepypasta►2:09:07 "My Livestock Won't Stop Walking in Circles" Creepypasta►3:00:21 "Not all gifts come from Santa" CreepypastaCreepypastas are the campfire tales of the internet. Horror stories spread through Reddit r/nosleep, forums and blogs, rather than word of mouth. Whether you believe these scary stories to be true or not is left to your own discretion and imagination. LISTEN TO CREEPYPASTAS ON THE GO-SPOTIFY► https://open.spotify.com/show/7l0iRPd...iTUNES► https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast...SUGGESTED CREEPYPASTA PLAYLISTS-►"Good Places to Start"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7YCb...►"Personal Favourites"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEa2R...►"Written by me"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX6RA...►"Long Stories"- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...FOLLOW ME ON-►Twitter: https://twitter.com/Creeps_McPasta►Instagram: https://instagram.com/creepsmcpasta/►Twitch: http://www.twitch.tv/creepsmcpasta►Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CreepsMcPastaCREEPYPASTA MUSIC/ SFX- ►http://bit.ly/Audionic ♪►http://bit.ly/Myuusic ♪►http://bit.ly/incompt ♪►http://bit.ly/EpidemicM ♪This creepypasta is for entertainment purposes only