The Joe and Smith Podcast: Read the Book of Mormon with us

Joe is interrupted by Dr. John from this podcast.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith is joined by Count Orlok this week. If you don't know Bill Reel's story about getting ex'd for calling JRH a liar, he probably covers it in this ep. Count Orlok and Smith struggle with the Akinator app and site.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys start with a surprise 4-minute watchalong to this Postal Service video. They reference info from this podcast episode about a song about an ex.  Joe refers to this podcast episode from RFM.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Tech note: Smith has an audio issue for the last half of the episode. Smith reviews some recent purchases à la the Add to Cart p-cast with the widow howl app. Smith tells about his grandparents who had to clean movie theaters, but got some fringe benefits from it. Joe brings up this part of Modern Romance. Joe's description does it zero justice. Smith refers to this animated gif from the band Pentagram.  Smith talks about this YT video that may have been prophesied about in this chapter. Joe talks about an old poem, and Smith reminds him about Dalton Wilcox.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Is it a solo Smith-o? Nope. Ariff Em shows up, and boy is he angry about JK (not Rowling). He talks about the smell of napalm in the morning. Ariff Em refers to the formation of Voltron.  Ariff Em provides an accurate summary of the movie Conclave.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys start out with tech talk. Smith is anti-pepto. Joe shares his B-52's karaoke idea. Smith loves this karaoke video from Eric VanAusdal of John Cage's 4'33" composition. Joe refers to this episode of MoNiteLive. JBTW Fkng rules. Smith wants to add zombies to the BOM.  Joe gets excited about BSA cheers. It's quite a scouting tangent. Joe tells his latest favorite Brazilian rollercoaster   Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Joe is not drunk, but his creepy guitar-playing suggests it.  Smith refers to this Vic Berger video about Ted Cruz, and this Vic Berger video about Jon Voight. Smith also talks about this part of a Vsauce video featuring the voice of presidential assassin JWB. Definitely JWB. Then there's this scene from Idiocracy (2006). There's also this short of Tyson walking away from an interview with his buns, plus MJ doing the first Man on the MW. Joe refers to this guitar for JP. There was no easily available YT video of an LDS hymn on a Chapman Stick, but there was a wonderful consolation prize: this. Joe refers back to this chart/scene from Idiocracy.  Joe refers back to this other Radiohead song which was recorded while Thom sang his vocals in reverse or something. TBH, he mistook it for this one, which would also be super cool in reverse too. Joe talks about the music video for REM's Pop Song ‘89 which features people sans tops. Here's the B&B version. Find your own version, if ya nasty. Joe makes everyone take an axolotl break. Then Joe refers back to this episode of The Dollop about an early LDS branch. The guys love Pete Holmes and Joe tells Smith about the BCPE film. No reward on the pork store from the Talking Sopranos podcast.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Joe tells an Alien$ story he heard on the Blank Check podcast. Smith wants more info about Cary Elwes. Smith comes up with the best name for a garment store.  Smith refers to this episode of the Dollop podcast. Joe tells about how this Mr Magoo cartoon spoiled Moby Dick for him.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith informs Joe about the church purchasing the Kirtland Temple from the Community of Christ. Joe refers back to this South Park episode and summarizes the beginnings of the BOM for anyone who doesn't know. Smith mentions this part from the Tim and Eric movie. Joe points out this series of Behind the Bastards podcast episodes. The guys have both heard Teller's voice. Here's a link to an unvetted podcast ep with Teller as a guest. The guys discuss Neil Hamburger's voice and his performance as Toby Determined on Gravity Falls. Smith provides his idea of some of the original text before it was edited.  Joe complains about how expensive everything is in Aspen, Colorado. Smith tells about his weiner dog protecting him against a Siberian Tiger on TV. Joe complains about the one and only segment he watched on the History Channel show, Strange Evidence. His description reminds Smith of a classic segment on T&E.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys talk about how they're feeling about the church after being out for a while. Some of Joe's kids don't really remember even going. Joe plays a reverse-jeopardy style game to try to relay information to Smith about the director Henry Selick. Smith announces a new BOM-related Lego line. The guys look down on the f***ing idiots who said ‘page number' instead of ‘hymn number. Joe brings T2: JD news from the corrections department.  The guys are anti most forms of traffic and trafficking. Smith refers back to this song from The Offspring. He tries to use the commitment pattern to get Joe to watch The Oath with him. Smith brings up this news story about Native tribes returning donations to the church. Joe gets excited that the Hess's were Oscar nominated for their animated short film- Ninety-five Senses.    Presented by Catchall Audio Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Joe refers to this piece of church art, and then this YT video from a news blooper compilation that he enjoyed. He then refers to this David Bazan song.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith reminds the listener about a bundle of sticks. Joe has a scary story from E Colfax Ave. Smith spoils the end of The Prestige (2006), and gets a C-Nol quiz from Joe. There is more back-and-forth between Abinadi and King Noah. The guys keep referring to this unattributed picture.  The guys remember an old Pablo Francisco bit. Smith confesses to going to PF on V-day with Jared from Static Cycle. Joe recommends the 2014 documentary, Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau. Smith describes The Sopranos in case anyone didn't know what it was. The guys refer to this TGTTM end credit sequence.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys are back after another unplanned hiatus. Smith reminds Joe of some of his favorite mormonads, Joe isn't convinced they're real. Joe shares his thoughts on the authorship of the Bible after having listened to a lot of the Bible Brothers podcast. He plays a couple of BOM-related clips from it. Joe inaccurately refers to this unattributed picture of Tiger King Noah. Joe kills some fun by bringing up info that he heard from this 5-hour Jahndallyn episode. Smith wishes he had this meme about a former US pres on hand.  The guys don't know much about Marshall Mathers. Smith thinks Tony Soprano may expedite the succession process in church leadership. Smith mentions Ari Shaffir's 2022 special: Jew. Joe proposes the idea that the BOM may be more boring than the NT, but definitely less boring than the OT. Joe remembers this video from Onion News Network.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Joe talks about the P's of the C attraction at Disneyparks. Smith discovers that Chapter 14 is an Isaiah chapter so the guys skip it. Joe talks about one of his favorite new podcasts, Bible Brothers, where two actual comedy writers read the KJV. Smith talks about a D ass B quote that he saw online in a job posting for the church. Smith talks about an exmo reddit post that contrasted the shirt colors of brethren in the priesthood session from the 1970s vs today. Joe goes on a minor rant about keeping things “the old way” for the sake of trying to teach the same lessons to the new generation. Smith tells his favorite pirate joke. Abinadi doesn't do a very good job at clarifying the GH. Joe refers to some Dan Vogel Eps from the Jahndallyn Show, and reminds the listener how much DV reminds him [Joe] of Andy Daly's Hot Dog character. Joe pulls a very relevant Bennifer reference. The guys get put on hold trying to get answers from the prophet. JS loves this part of Isaiah regarding mountains and feet.  Joe brings up David Bazan. Chapter 15 clears up a lot of doctrine that probably mattered in 1820-1830. Smith blazes through the end of the chapter. Smith tries to clarify the need for atonement. Joe brings up this Johnny Cash song. The guys acknowledge some of the current controversies surrounding the church. Joe mentions his time as a participant in the Lifestar program, which made him ashamed of his body and alienated him from his (at the time) tbm wife.   Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

This ep would be all-the-way skipable if it weren't for the action we get from King Noah and the crew. Smith wasn't feeling well, and it had been too long since an episode was released, so Joe broke protocol and recorded a solo episode. It serves the dual purposes of moving along in the reading, as well as demonstrating the necessity of our dear Smith.  Joe questions his own sanity in talking to himself. Abinadi flexes on King Noah's priests, and then he provides some bible fan fiction of the 10 Commandments. Joe thinks about making an idol of his axolotls. Joe goes on for too long about the idea of a Shabbat goy. The bible reminds us that a wife (and a servant) is a possession. Joe noticed that everyone who is made angry by the statement “Mormons are Christians” are people he doesn't want to hang out with. He quotes Air Supply.     Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Joe bears testimony of necessary divorce, and the guys realize that they wouldn't be good marital partners to each other. Smith gets emotional over Joe's fast food. Smith changes his opinion from last week about OK Go videos and admits to having watched videos for: This Too Shall Pass, Needing/Getting, White Knuckles, but not The One Moment. The corrections department lets us know about Charlotte Gainsbourg whose name was missed last week. Smith reminds the listener of some recent controversy regarding a temple in Cody, WY. Smith comes up with a great safe word for BOM bondage. They guys reflect on which HP characters received howlers. The guys take a couple of detours getting distracted by Smith's wienerdog and Joe's axolotls. Smith reminds Joe and the listener about Rusty's 2003 Ensign article about how god's love is not unconditional. Joe talks about the good influences of the church over the years and expresses frustration.  Joe gets annoyed that he still gets defensive when people tell him that Mormons are not Christians. Smith reminds Joe about a picture of a religious billboard that Joe sent to him this week. The guys talk about the fanfiction from the 10 commandments that finish off this chapter. Joe talks about a convo he had with someone who lived in ID who had a positive experience living among the mormons. Joe talks about watching Gentlemen Broncos (2009) with their #1 Patreon subscriber and remembers that toward the end, the film includes an antiquated anti-trans term.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

For a minute Smith convinces Joe that a church-produced JS video was directed by Lars von Trier. Joe gets excited about this OK Go video. Joe refers back to one of Brucer's theories about rainbows. The guys touch on the phenomenon of white mormon boyz wearing lavalavas to church. Smith tells us about that shithead King Noah, and his unnamed father. Joe makes an irreverent reference to Astronaut Jones from SNL in the 90's. Smith describes an early cryptocurrency ZiffCoin. Smith provides an anecdote from the other side of Brother Brigham's conference center prophecy. Joe's Hightower joke does not land. Smith tries to tell Joe and the listener about some recent controversy regarding a temple in Cody, WY. Joe comes back with another google translation hymns game. Smith is vague about his definition of cockubine. The guys can't help themselves re all the bondage talk in this chapter. This chapter overtly teaches that god is “slow” to answer prayers of people he doesn't like as much, not a great example of unconditional love. For some reason, Smith can't stop envisioning King Noah and Abinadi in a way that can only be described as Fribergian. Joe pitches the next Indiana Jones movie- the golden plates. Joe thinks that the church is too big to fail. The guys pontificate about what kind of social problems could be solved with $150B.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Joe got excited to show Smith clips from the Richard Dawson-era Family Feud. Check this post on our patreon site for a taste. Joe plays a family feud-style game from some of his screenshots. Smith is curious about the name of King Laman and whether it's a name that shall not be named. Joe revisits the idea of trying to keep a sportsmanlike attitude when it comes to the idea of whether or not JS wrote or translated the BOM. Smith recalls hearing this episode of the oooold Mormon Matters podcast. Here is a link to a follow-up Jahndallyn episode where Natasha discusses her excommunication. Look at him. Smith gets excited about the prospect of a high budget, church-funded, Hollywood, BOM movie.  The lord is not pleased with Laman's m-bation. Smith provides an inspiring reenactment of Zeniff/President Whitmore from Independence Day's inspiring speech. Smith referred to this exmo read it post where heroes have taken a D Ass Bednar post and made their own narration.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Welcome to chapter 9, chapter 9, chapter 9. The guys briefly talk about body counts in works of fiction. Smith refers to this reggae song. Joe tries to list the hosts of Family Feud over the years. This episode was released during the wildfires on the island of Maui in August of 2023. Several responsible nonprofits have launched fire relief efforts, including: The Hawai‘i Community Foundation “Maui Strong Fund.” Make donations at https://www.hawaiicommunityfoundation.org/maui-strong. The Hawai‘i Red Cross, is assisting with shelters for those displaced by the fires. Make donations at https://www.redcross.org/local/hawaii.html.   Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Smith delights us with a dollop-esque intro, and then discusses this post from ex-mo read it about someone playing b-ball with the Sandman. Joe got some advice from his kids about a possible BB spinoff. Ammon likes to rehearse in this chapter. Joe comes up with his idea of King B's last words. Smith refers to this terrifying/telling photo of Jeff Warrens and his wives. Smith uses this chapter to piece together the equation rehearsal > evidence.  This chapter tends to focus on someone trying to get someone else to translate ancient golden plates. Weird. Joe tells another kid story about a Jason Bourne corn p-cast. The guys discuss starting a colt cult.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys are back after a break! Joe learns of Smith's fandom of The Doors and his trumpetsmanship. Smith had a great idea involving a film where Tom Cruise is a stuntman for a Tom Cruise lookalike who portrays the lead in said film. The guys discuss some Wes Anderson movies and actors. King Mosiah gets teased. Ammon shows up and spoils the L-word regarding the baller director, but he's so dreamy and strong. Joe gets excited by a character named Hem.  The guys take a moment to thank their actual #1 Patreon subscriber! Smith goes over some instances in which missionaries will ghost investigators. The guys get sarcastic about the murkiness of the LDS godhead in the BOM. Joe can't help but refer to All the Food is Poison.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys start with a little bit of companionship inventory that they learned on their missions. Smith confesses to a secret goal he used to have about his beard length. Joe refers to this part of an old Tom Goes to the Mayor episode. Smith bares his testimony of who he thinks is the best Big Brother contestant. Smith gives another super long quote from KB's people that was amazingly in unison. Joe comes to the rescue for listening to this episode of the Pete Holmes' pcast with our beloved prophet Brian Regan.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys try to contextualize some of the dom/sub talk from last week. Joe asks about old missionary tales of baseball/pool baptisms. Smith confesses some sins from his mission including watching Super Troopers (2001) on a TV/VCR from the church library. Again, Joe talks about Crispin Glover and tells anecdotes which can be mostly backed-up in this AV Club interview with him. Joe makes a correction from last week about his notion of Protestant Jesus. Smith reminds the listener about D'Oakes' Hosanna shout mishap. Joe compares the King Ben's conditions on God's love to something Brené Brown says about scarcity culture.  Joe remembers a seminary lesson for this chapter where they watched this Phil Collins video. Joe refers back to this episode of Mormonism Live where they talk about devaluing the JST and the KJV. Smith proposes and Elvis brother over an eldest brother.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Smith keeps trying to get Jeezy Chreesties [sic] to stick. Smith tries to convince Joe that an angel gave Smith a urim and thummim. This chapter of the BOM includes a quick, Bible fan fic, summary of the life and times of JC. Joe forgets the title of the Crispin Glover movie, Willard from 2003. Bane returns to give us a long wind-up and prediction of JC from the BOM. Joe expresses his disappointment for the lack of bear intercourse in The Revenant (2015). Smith calls Joe out for trying to move things along by giving Smith agreeable answers. Joe celebrates that he can get answers to simple questions without ads from ChatGPT by Open AI, Smith predicts what the future will be like with ads.  Smith has more promises from his urim and thummim. Joe refers back to several dirty raps from the old Harmontown podcast. The guys piece together how this chapter of the BOM brings non-consensual dom/sub dynamics into LDS scripture. Smith refers back to this episode of The Dollop podcast. The guys refer back to the NF doc, Murder Among the Mormons as well as the co-directors' episode of the Jahnadlyn fun hour.  Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith refers to this meme that he found reposted on a recent reddit post. Joe refers back to this episode of Mormonism Live with comedian Fresh King Benjamin. The guys talk about this episode of the Petey Pants podcast.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Hi friends, no notes this week  Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

No notes this week, sweeties   Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Joe can't help but confess some of his struggles with the WoW. The guys discuss whether or not Brewster's Millions (1985) may be worth a re-watch. Joe teases telling his Jerome, AZ ghost story, but then forgets to tell it later. Smith refers to this Brother Jake video, and then the guys make a plea to get him on the pcast. Smith reminds Joe about a wonderful TMBG video that stars one of the guys' faves! The guys get unnecessarily angry at Chemish. Smith reveals some of his secrets to giving a good sacrament meeting talk. The guys argue about whether or not y'all is an appropriate contraction in polite society. They pitch for PFT to play a character called Yontu in the SWU. Joe talks about something he heard from this episode of an anti podcast. In a moment of weakness, Smith uses the H word about the BOM.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Smith opens with a classic, but offensive, J&S Hymn. Joe is brazen about his unpreparedness and asks Smith to keep talking while he searches for this group of podcasts Ep's from The Jahndalyn Show. Smith talks about a May 2023 segment on the news show 60 Minutes regarding some of the church's financial/whistleblower troubles. When it comes to the financial scoreboard, the church is true. Joe has a tangent about the film Nightmare Alley (2021), and The Lobster (2015).  Joe refers to the song “do bow bow”, AKA-  Oh Yeah by the band Yello. Smith refers to this Mitsubishi materials YT video/meme. Joe tries to re-reenact the convo between Enos and the Lord. Smith reads from a ChatGPT tangent where Snoop Dogg wrote part of the BOM.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith starts by trying to usurp Joe's authority. Joe expresses remorse about his previous (and current, and future) cynicism. Joe refers to a conversation he had with Reneigh about the podcast A Year of Polygamy with Lindsay Hansen Park. Smith talks about a sweet blessing on the food he saw on the NF series Alone. Joe talks about whether or not he wants to try RMO's at Buckhorn Exchange.  Joe talks about stumbling into some pro-mo material. Joe refers to a Chris Rock quote that may not be all-the-way attributable to him.  Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys have some fun thinking about the 3 Nephites. Joe refers to the I Was There Too podcast. Smith reminds Joe about Nick Offerman's laugh. The guys get excited that this chapter of the BOM has a narrative. They reenact Jacob's convo with HF about smiting Sharom. The guys try to make each other giggle by keeping a straight face while using a different name to refer to the book of Enos.  Joe comes back from break with a fictional movie trailer idea that he sent to his beloved EV back in 2013. Joe refers back to this Weird Al funny or die video that inspired the 2022 film, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. Smith refers to the YT video where Weird Al shreds.  Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys are very excited to welcome guests Molly Morgasm and Reneigh for this episode. Joe refers to this part of this episode of the LDS discussions podcast about how the parable of the olive tree could have come about. Molly: “if you have a vagina and a pulse, you're qualified for primary”. Joe outs Reneigh as the leading member of the corrections department, and how her truths can be hard for the wicked. More on that later.. Molly talks about being nekkid, and how LDS years can be properly quantified in which U2 album was released that year. Still not the good kind of come, nor the good kind of cleave. Smith shares a special spiritual experience about the spirit leading him to $5 that he needed. The guys plea to Reneigh to reassure them that they are good people despite their biases, and she does the best she can to absolve them, although not entirely.  Joe reminds the rest of the gang about a prank they pulled on Molly once. Molly reminds them about this YT video which is a compilation of clips from movies where people get hit by a bus, it's more than you'd expect. Molly gets existential about how the church brought about her (and the guys') existence and how that concept is something with which she grapples. Molly outs Joe's family about the ‘may-zure', ‘tray-zure','play-zure', game that his family would play during GC. The guys play a song that they received from their band leader as a submission for the forthcoming hymns (or hers) book. Joe makes everyone play a game that he stole from the Threedom podcast.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys make the decision to not read the rest of Jacob chapter 5. The guys refer to a couple of episodes of the Behind the Bastards podcast that talked about El Rushbo. Jahndallyn joins the guys to respond to a clip from John Dehlin on an episode of LDS Discussions podcast. Joe refers to this pro wrestling documentary on Amazon prime.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

The guys are excited to welcome their friend Jack as a guest this episode. Joe refers to this episode of Radio Free Mormon, and this song by The Violent Femmes. Smith refers to this Outkast song. Joe can't stop referring to this song either. Joe refers to this wonderful SNL sketch about shirtless bible salesmen. Joe talks about this very well intentioned 13.5 minute church-sponsored bullshit video explaining Jacob 5. Smith talks about this horrible video where Sister Bednar's husband…you can finish the sentence. Joe and Smith recommend watching the Jared Hess/Tyler Measom doc on Netflix.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith tells about how he got out of jury duty one time from not having very much faith and humanity. Smith reads an alternate ending of the BOM from a robot that could signify the end of humanity.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys confess that this recording is a “take 2” due to previous poor decision-making. Joe refers to this episode of his beloved Radio Free Mormon podcast and this episode of The Dollop Podcast.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

What would you do with the lost 116 pages? Joe and Smith have a very limited imagination that has to do with money and/or sex and/or alcohol. Smith asks Joe to remind him about the happiness letter, but it didn't work. Joe tells a mission story about the worst moment of his life. Joe remembers to tell the limousine joke from last episode.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Join our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys forgot about their idea to try to be more positive with their attitude toward the BOM. Joe says that he feels ashamed of how he used to use these two chapters with investigators when he was on his mission. The guys recommend finding the Whiskers and Wires release on band camp (and no other service, just band camp).    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Join our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Joe and Smith are back without a guest and maybe they're a little too critical (or not critical enough?) of how it went on the last episode. Joe goes on (what can only be described as) a rant about skepticism vs cynicism, or maybe sincerity vs cynicism. The guys play a round of Hymnal Literal Translation to learn some crazy ish.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Join our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith  Remember who you are and what you stand for

It's happened. This week the guys are joined by a guest, Friendjamin, who is still a card-carrying saint of the latter-days. Joe recants his negative review of the Jon Heder ep of the Petey Pants Podcast. The conversation devolves into mission masturbation and the like. Smith took an awesome picture of hot lava that can be seen here. The guys are excited about their Turtle Friend's LDS doctrine-based Christmas t-shirt that he designed. The guys play a round of “I've got some bad tunes for you” which was borrowed without permission from the Threedom podcast.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys are back and they did not land their exclusive guest this week (sad face). Smith sent Joe a picture of the cutest baby tortoises you've ever seen. They want you to check out their patreon page- https://patreon.com/JoeAndSmith. A bible? A bible? The more the merrier. Smith refers back to this classic Brother Jake youtube video about the different branches of the church. Smith proposes an interesting test to tell if one is a real Christian. Joe wonders about the future of the temple video. Smith predicts VR temple sessions in the future. The guys discuss some garment do's and dont's. Joe refers back to another classic youtube video about ‘Mormon Jesus'. Joe is about halfway through the Jon Heder ep of the Petey Pants Podcast. The guys reminisce about Pete Holmes' ‘lesbian Val Kilmer-look alike' bit.  Joe refers to a  Mark Rober youtube video, and he points out that Mark reminds him of a million different guys from elder's quorum who didn't like him (Joe). Joe spoils an entire Black Mirror episode. The guys talk Schitt's Creek and Keep Sweet etc.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for

The guys are back with a new special challenge this week. They'll get to it a few minutes in. Joe notices what he doesn't like about dad jokes. Smith gives new meaning to the term ‘superspreader' and makes Joe giggle. Smith refers back to the Aliki series of sketches from Portlandia. The guys try to self-edit to try to land a tbm guest next week. All sorts of aspersions are cast. Joe gives an attempt at an apologist answer for the BOM to teach principles in terms of conflict and good and bad. Eat, drink, and be merry.The guys try to reconcile the perfectionism that they absorbed growing up with other, more positive messages within the BOM. The irony is not lost on the guys that they are trying to ‘play nice' and this chapter is pretty much a direct criticism of one of the main theses of the podcast. Does the BOM criticize the church?  Some other stuff happens.  Russel M Nelson Divine Love  “divine love…cannot correctly be characterized as unconditional”    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Smith does his best Mark “Jacko” Jackson impression. Joe accuses Smith of sending him down a “Helf hole” after referring to him an article from Psychology Today published in 2017. The article is in reference to a separate scholarly article published in The Journal of Sex Research about so called, ‘sex addiction' as it pertains to religious people. A bad Ballam shows up, but is quickly cast out. Joe claims he can do an impression of himself, but he doesn't deliver. Joe makes an executive decision to read 2 Nephi 27 despite the Isaiah tw in the chapter heading. Don't worry, the guys think better of this decision later. Joe expresses some frustration over his experience with a very specific way in which the church conditioned married women to have control over their husband's sexuality. The guys toy with the idea that re-reading the BOM for the podcast will bring them back into the church. They want to use this idea to make money. You can buy anything in this world…you know how it goes. Nobody else likes Pavement, but the guys can't help but tell one more thing about the show. The guys finally decide to pull the plug on reading chapter 27.  Joe offers a hearty pat on the back to Smith for legitimately forgetting that it was GC weekend last weekend. Smith reads some excerpts from old GC talks about the evils of pornography. Bane shows up to read anti-porn quotes from GC. Penn and Teller come up again. Joe insists that church members should be talking about consent rather than talking about abstaining from porn. Joe describes going down a Helf hole where he listened to at least 10 hours of podcasts from the wonderful Natasha Helfer. Smith reads another frustrating GC quote. Along Joe's journey this week, he learned about an LDS apologist called Kwaku and someone else who has an anti-Jahndallyn blog. Kwaku has an unlisted yt video about the evils of Jahndallyn. Smith's assessment of some of the exmo drama is that it's a classic who done it. The guys try to see how many times they can say Kwaku. Heaps. Smith reads one more anti-porn quote that is really Jesus talking to the Pharisees in SLC. Vmemo 09/2011 Kid R   Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Smith asks for an idea about what to call listeners, Joe suggests not to include ‘anti'. Joe talks about his dear friend (not deer friend, aka D'ump) who is a loving tbm. The guys recap their time together in Denver for the Pavement show in Sep 2022. Smith noted Joe's breathing. Joe gets a little frustrated by all of the filler in the BOM, just like last chapter. The guys discuss whether or not a church member is ‘allowed to ask questions'. Joe reaffirms that a big part of the guys' premise is that JS wrote the BOM, but now what? Smith talks about how some of the resentment is from devoting so much time to an organization that wasn't completely forthright with some very important facts. Is it wrong to teach kids to pray? Maybe if the kids are praying to someone who doesn't love them unconditionally. The guys get back around to the point that having a strict upbringing growing up, made it easier to leave the church. Smith notices some lingering perfectionism, and that the BOM preps its readers to be persecuted.  Vmail- it's none of your business 10-2012 The guys come back from break with text-to-speech ai, who is a little sassy. Joe recommends doing a search for common phrases in the BOM; there is a lot of filler. Smith wants an ai to analyze the language of the BOM. Joe gets caught off guard by the use of ‘terrible ones', but the guys learn that it's not from JS. The guys point out the irony of the description of other churches in this chapter. Smith stumbles into a good one-word Jahndallyn impression, and Joe reminds him of his JK Simmons one-word impression. The guys get sidetracked talking about a pretty old Mr Richards incident and his cup o' coffee with regular-sized Jerry. There is some more irony about priestcrafts. Joe offers an explanation of some of the random vmails that have been showing up. Smith is reminded of a terrifying picture of Rusty in the June 2022 Liahona.  Vmail- Noodle McGroodle 07-2011 Smith tries to make sense of some JS/BOM logic, but it's not really worth the time. The guys confess that they are not well-versed in the Friends-o-verse. They express their disdain for alternative guitar tunings- probably derived from a religious fundamentalist worldview growing up. Smith comes up with an apt nickname for Joe as the breathin heathen. Joe tries to remember if there is thumb-thing else they forgot to talk about.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Show notes are on the way. The guys are recording together in the same room. Smith came to visit Joe so they could go to a concert together. 

Joe questions whether reading the BOM is good for him. Smith suggests for the listener to order a free one, but the missionaries will bring it. The guys accidentally stumble into the church's new branding campaign to have a BOM in your crotch. They return to the well until the end of the episode. In this chapter, JS warns us that there are some Isaiah chapters coming. Like 13 of them. There are 2 more BOMs in crotches. Smith has a story about a TBM friend, who may be a deer. The guys remember D'ump from Tim and Eric. Joe passes along a book recommendation from someone he trusts- Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died Smith opens some mail that he got from Joe. Joe included his testimony of the BOM in the package. Smith re-reads a previous verse. JS, he has a BOM in his crotch. Joe doesn't like the use of the word proving in the BOM. 5 more BOMs in crotches. The BOM just isn't going to burn in some house fires. Is Santa a lie for children? There is more BOM logic about why God exists. Also the LDS Godhead is confusing. Mysterious vmail- Phoenix Gem and Mineral Show (07/26/2012) Joe poses a hypothetical scenario about guys arguing over the bible. Joe gets the Kinderhook Plates mixed up with View of the Hebrews. Joe liked hearing that Australia has more restrictive standards for what is and is not considered a religion. Joe tries to quiz Smith about the names of some of the brethren's wives. They find out that Joe is reading from an old list. Also, that LDS guys technically get more virgins than some of the other religions' afterlife. Some more BOMs in crotches. Smith has a story about his earthly father. Joe asks how Smith's dad is doing. Joe tells a story about catching up with an old friend. Joe tells an embarrassing story about the guys' friend, Sam the Eagle. One more BOMcrotch. Joe reads a ‘yo child is so perished' from their listener. Smith presents Joe with a challenge that he will not take on. Joe presents a scenario that would send Smith into a rage. OK, just one more.    Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for

A Smith and Joe exclusive! Joe takes it upon himself to read this week. It doesn't take long before the guys devolve into adolescent pp jokes. They wonder who took the longest to take out their endowments out of the last few leaders of the church. Smith doesn't like to use the word scripture. Joe makes a promise (that he later breaks) about a ‘yo kids are so perished' joke. This chapter teaches us that there is no other nation that would crucify their god. God reminds Smith about John 3:16. Smith talks about how being raised in the Western US is different from the East. Wanton eyes will probably not come up again (sad face). Joe suggests skipping to an Isaiah chapter because it sounds more interesting, even Seuss-y. The guys take turns doing bad Cosbys too. This chapter denounces priestcraft, while the guys in SLC probably had their grandkids help them sign up for direct deposit. And updated: Joe, or JS, may be ant wizards. The LDS godhead is confusing in the BOM. This chapter is very jingoistic, like maybe the worst one yet, USA! USA! Joe criticizes the church's reaction to news stories about child molestation in the church. Smith polls the audience, but they don't respond. The spirit shows up to weigh in on who is the better reader. Joe didn't know that JS had an actual sword. The spirit tries to spread a rumor about Lucifer having some of his ribs removed. The black-and-white thinking is pretty heavy in this chapter as well. The guys are reminded of some David Bazan lyrics where he's arguing with a god who sounds like the god of this BOM chapter. Joe still says oh my gosh. The US is a choice land above all other lands…barf. Joe gets excited about photos from the James Webb telescope. It sounds like Joe may have a hard copy of the BOM which tickles Smith for some reason. In this chapter, JS tells us to cheer up and choose happiness. It's very ‘of its time' sort of thinking. Will and Defoe. SWK was short, and boil-ridden. Bummer. Smith reminds us that his childhood friends who didn't take the church as seriously at the time are still in the church now. Smith has a teaser for a sort-of unboxing on the next ep.  David Bazan When We Fell   Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for  

Don't adjust your podcasting devices, you're hearing correctly. Smith picks up reading before talking or anything else?!!? Joe tells Smith about why they're not funny, or maybe they're only funny to each other. Is it learned or learn-ed? JS is not a fan of smart people. The learn-ed person is kind of the natural enemy of the con artist. Joe makes an ableist joke that seminary teachers would like. Can a person get reverse-circumcised? Smith looked into it before. Joe's summary of how the contents of the BOM can be categorized into 3 or 4 categories comes from Jahndalyn's interview with Grant Palmer. Is JS LARP-ing as a 19th Century Protestant preacher in this chapter? Was Captain Kidd the same as Indiana Jones? Was the dog's name Captain? Joe reminds us of the idea where he reads a chapter. Smith prefers the Ron Howard series of The Office. Joe tries to give a pass to Arrested Development for being of its time. Smith teaches Joe about SMILE and Joe is not a fan. The guys go over new changes they would like to see in the endowment ceremony. Joe thinks the movie should be history of the entire world, i guess, and Smith wants it to get sexier.  Smith refers the listener back to an episode of Nathan for You. JS gets a little bold about truth claims in this chapter, as per use. Joe starts to make a point about his faithful friend, Dwayne, but then he forgets. Joe refuses to cut ambient noise in this ep (he didn't follow through). He gets upset about the idea that the BOM is going to teach us about the ‘consequences of sin'. Then he issues a challenge to make a tbm-friendly ep that is sincere. The guys try another take on the condescension of god. Maybe they'll get it next time.  Joe recaps some of his convo with a tbm friend which ended in the question- would the world have more sexual abuse if the church didn't exist? The guys talk about some of the methods the church uses to address the elephant in the room. Does the org structure of the church facilitate SA? Smith has heard some pretty inflammatory SA second-hand accounts. The guys are too afraid to tell their actual families about the podcast, so….spread the word? Don't forget to keep your relationships professional. Your family relationships, keep it professional. One of Joe's naughty mission companions taught him a song about smoking joints. The guys don't really have a patreon.    Mormon Stories Podcast 030-033: AN INSIDER'S VIEW OF MORMON ORIGINS — AN INTERVIEW WITH GRANT PALMER history of the entire world, i guess Nathan For You - Claw of Shame - The Event The Toyes - Smoke Two Joints Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for

Show notes are on their way, hold your tapirs 

Smith starts us with a wonderful invocation. It gets a little morbid, but Smith tells us about a classic country song: Bury Me Under That Durian Tree. Joe invokes Marty Robbins. Smith wants to know the difference between light and heavy petting. Good thing Joe learned about it in seminary. The guys detour into more Pavement talk. Joe's #1 fave Pave-cast is Meeting Malkmus: A Pavement Podcast. A close second: Stuff You Should Know. Smith contends that Malkmus is in the top 5 of the top 10 of something. The same goes for his favorite R.E.M. podcasts. Joe reads a reddit meme from Smith. The guys love to talk about not liking themselves. Joe has an ant update, and Smith has an update from Who-ville. Smith is not yet ready to return and report about the JS apology from last week. Joe discovers that he can see things in JS that he doesn't like about himself. Joe wants to do a proxy B for PSH. Joe pitches the idea that proxy O's should include the cause of death. Smith gets a little conspiratorial about what the LDS app is tracking and who is looking.  The guys are not good at jazz scatting. Joe shares his version of a Simpsons quote. Smith reads a headline about the church covering up sexual abuse. Smith still hasn't seen Zodiac (2007). Smith asserts that the systems in place in the church are a breeding ground for grooming. The guys quickly veer off into the Potterverse. Joe bears his testimony of the everlasting message from the Fab 4 about love, and he's not stoned.  Joe points out why it's not fun to read the Isaiah chapters on J&SP:RtBOMWU which is that JS did not write them. Is grad school regalia Satan's counterfeit of the temple ceremony? Are drugs Satan's counterfeit of the priesthood power? Joe points out that the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected to white male privilege. Smith feels dumb sometimes, but he isn't. Joe found a scholarly article where the author asserts that JS did not, in fact,plagiarize Isaiah. Smith asserts that the author's argument is sometimes referred to in the church as ‘justifying your own sin'. Smith reminds us that morals don't come from religion. Joe tells the story “he would tell you that he is happy” about a friend's apostate family member. The talk about how some of their religious trauma involves feeling like they don't deserve happiness now because they're not following the church. Smith casually refers to himself as a trainwreck and Joe reminds him that it's the mormons who taught him that he was a trainwreck, not the gentiles. Smith still has a family member who treats him as if he was a trainwreck. Joe concedes that he had a genuine laugh a the John BTFW video on this chapter. Who's talents are being wasted on the BOM? Meeting Malkmus - a Pavement podcast Stuff You Should Know Podcast  Glenn Ostland's JS Apology (start around 19 min in) Seven Years of Sex Abuse: How Mormon Officials Let it Happen Brother Jake Explains: Book of Mormon Translation (feat. seer stone) Was Joseph Smith Guilty of Plagiarism? John A. Tvedtnes CES Letter My Search for Answers to my Mormon Doubts John Bytheway and Darryl Discover 2 Nephi 8 and Isaiah 51 Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org  Remember who you are and what you stand for