Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/timetoleanpod/subscribe Laura Danger and Crystal Britt tackle your household messes! Time to Lean is full of unsolicited advice to tiktokers and reality tv couples, write-in questions and interviews! Send in an anonymous question and we'll chat about it! Laura, @thatdarnchat, is an educator and advocate. Crystal Britt, @itscrystalbritt, is a coach and licensed therapist in California. Send in your questions: https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/timetoleanpod/?hl=en
Laura Danger and Crystal Britt
The Time to Lean podcast, hosted by Laura and Crystal, is an absolute gem that I stumbled upon and am grateful for. It has become a haven for me to gain valuable insights into various issues, especially those related to building equitable partnerships and sharing the mental load. Laura's Instagram page, @thatdarnchat, has always impressed me with its content, and hearing her thoughts in longer form on this podcast is truly a treat. What sets this podcast apart is its ability to provide deeper understanding and perspectives on topics that I thought I had already processed in my mind. Whenever Laura and Crystal discuss an issue, they bring fresh insights that I hadn't considered before. It's truly time well spent listening to their content.
One of the best aspects of The Time to Lean podcast is the excellent content it offers on building equitable partnerships and sharing the mental load. As someone who was unsure about having children due to witnessing the burden women often face with the mental load, I found immense value in listening to Eve Rodsky's Time Out Podcast before becoming a parent. However, Laura's work expands on Rodsky's ideas and also incorporates solid content on emotional labor and intersectional feminism. This makes it an essential resource for anyone looking to create more balance in their partnerships.
While the podcast has numerous outstanding qualities, it does have a small downside for some listeners. There seems to be a heavy focus on certain societal issues such as patriarchy, whiteness, ableism, and capitalism. While these topics are undoubtedly important and deserve attention, some listeners may feel overwhelmed or fatigued by constant discussions surrounding them. However, it's crucial to note that these discussions are presented with relatability, encouragement, honesty, and even humor.
In conclusion, The Time to Lean podcast hosted by Laura and Crystal provides invaluable resources for navigating marriage, parenting, and life within our complex society. Their relatable approach combined with insightful discussions ensures that listeners are engaged and nodding along with every episode. Laura's TikTok presence adds additional value, although it is refreshing to see her content in longer form on this podcast. Overall, Laura and Crystal are doing incredible work by raising awareness, sharing wisdom, and fearlessly calling out issues that need attention. They are truly amazing, and I eagerly look forward to their future episodes.
This week, Crystal presents a new study that claims handling home life well can boost your work performance. We dig into what's really being said(and what's not), why the framing matters, and how corporate culture keeps co-opting care.In this episode:How you handle your home life can boost work performance, shows new study: https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/how-you-handle-your-home-life-can-boost-work-performance-shows-new-study/Pillars of White SupremacyBullshit Jobs by David GraeberWhen You Care by Elissa Strauss
Why is it that we blame the mom when something kid-related falls through the cracks? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss double standards in gendered expectations, the way that clear communication can prevent resentment, and how emotional safety can impact domestic problem-solving.Mentioned in this episode: https://www.today.com/parents/toddlers/mom-forgets-diapers-flight-toddler-rcna203556National Domestic Violence Hotline:https://www.thehotline.org/Check out Substack for resources and ad-free episodes! http://timetoleanpod.substack.com/Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call to Reimagine Our Relationships and Demand More and get a free bonus workbook! Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Is the point of feminism to become a power mom/CEO powerhouse? (spoiler alert: BIG no). In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss why the new branding of feminism misses the mark by a w i d e margin.Mentioned in this episode:Power Moms Marie Claire ArticleBook: A Decolonial Feminism by Françoise Vergès Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this super unhinged episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the HBO show The Rehearsal, specifically episode 2 of season 2. We talk emotional labor, Nathan Fielder, and airline pilots. Mentioned in this episode:Rose Hackman's article: Telling Women to Modulate Their Tone Will Not Hinder Male Extremism Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Laura and Crystal unravel the messy, misunderstood concept of nagging—and spoiler alert, it's not just a "you problem." We're diving headfirst into the nag paradox, that familiar dynamic where one partner becomes the designated project manager of the household… and the other somehow forgets how time works.From cringey comic strip tropes (hello, bathrobe lady with the slipper) to the emotional weight of carrying the mental load, we break down why nagging isn't about being “overbearing”—it's often a desperate bid to feel seen, heard, and understood in a system that undervalues care work.We explore how this pattern plays out in everyday moments, like who's picking up the kids, and how resentment builds when you're forced to either ask for help perfectly or just do it yourself. We also talk about how neurodivergence, gender roles, and unspoken emotional labor all collide to make this a setup for burnout—and sometimes, abuse.Plus:How to spot the difference between weaponized incompetence and skill gapsWhat emotional safety in conflict really looks likeWhy “division of labor” doesn't always equal equityWhen it's okay to say, “this is enough” and walk awayWhether you've felt like the “default parent,” are trying to unlearn your own baggage, or are questioning how to rebalance your relationship, this episode is your big, validating exhale.
This week on Time to Lean, Crystal and Laura sit down with author, essayist, and unapologetic truth-teller Jessica Slice to discuss her powerful new book Unfit Parent. Jessica shares the backstory behind her debut, how she went from social work student to published author, and what it means to parent while disabled in a world that barely recognizes disabled parents exist—let alone values them.We talk about the nuance of documenting disability, the grief of letting go of who you thought you'd be, and the unexpected creativity that disability invites into parenting.If you've ever felt like you're faking it as a parent—or if you're carrying a body or mind that doesn't always “perform”—this one's for you.Order Jessica's book, “Unfit Parent” belowBookshop.org Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the emotional labor and expectations that arise when one partner makes significant decisions, such as donating a kidney. They discuss the importance of communication, the impact of caregiving, and the need for self-awareness in navigating these dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the necessity of considering each other's needs and the collective responsibility in relationships, while also highlighting the role of therapy and community support in fostering healthier interactions.
In this unfiltered and deeply relatable episode, Crystal and Laura dive headfirst into a viral Am I the Asshole Reddit post that brings up a lot of familiar feelings for millennial moms, especially those in cishet partnerships.Research & References:Rose Hackman, Emotional Labor Darby Saxbe, USC: Study on cognitive labor and maternal burnoutStudy on marital burnout in women post-lockdown (2021)Data on marriage as a health “asset” for menStatistic: 6+ years of dissatisfaction before couples therapy, on averageThis show exists thanks to our amazing community. Subscribing to our Time to Lean Substack helps us keep this work going. We've moved off Patreon, so come hang with us there for bonus content, live chats, and more systemic breakdowns served with a side of memes and rage. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
They do. They work 7% more than single men, but how does that impact their marriages? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss how capitalism screws, well, all of us. All genders, in every sphere. Topics We Cover:Married men working more, and why the answer is almost always their wivesOverwork as a tool of oppression—not ambitionThe second shift, the leisure entitlement gap, and who really gets to restWhat Denmark is doing better (spoiler: it's everything)The disillusionment of “equal partnerships” in a broken systemThe lie of corporate loyalty and the emotional fallout of trying to do it allReferenced Research & Sources:Richmond Federal Reserve study on married men's work hoursGender Equity Institute article on overwork and gender gapsOECD stats on Danish work-life balanceWe Grow the World TogetherDiscussions of When We Care, Soul, and Rage Against the Machine (yes, really)Upcoming:Join us Thursday the 27th for Time to Read! We're discussing We Grow the World Together—no reading required to attend, just vibes and snacks.
Ever wonder what happens when the person keeping everything together… falls apart? Spoiler: it's not good. This week, we're diving into the unpaid, undervalued, and often invisible labor of caregiving—who does it, who's burning out, and why society pretends it's not happening until it's too late. From Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa's story to Bruce Willis's wife Emma Hemming Willis calling out caregiving burnout, we break down the brutal reality of care work. Also: why home health workers make less than fast food employees, why women are expected to handle it all, and why we're all one crisis away from disaster. Oh, and The Sims somehow makes an appearance. You're welcome.
What factors help you to decide how hard or simple a household task is? Ellie Windle, CEO and founder of Persist, set out to answer that very question. In this episode, Laura and Crystal interview Ellie about the factors that led to Persist's creation, and reflect on the mirad of ways it has helped to make the invisible labor of the household, visible and valuable.Persist's WebsiteHave a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We know this probably isn't your most burning question, but did you see this video of him last week? Laura and Crystal discuss the double standard of Elon's public displays of fatherhood, and the tokenism of his pro-natal movement. Y'all, we're tired.Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Laura and Crystal discuss an NPR article that caused quite a stir this week by focusing on men's health while women's rights and freedoms continue to be a target of the current presidential administration. Is it fair? Let's get into it!Mentioned in this Episode:New Economy CoalitionMan Box StudyNPR: Men Die Younger Than WomenMiss Diagnosis: A Systemic Review of ADHD in WomenWant to discuss this week's episode with us? Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Is there such a thing as "The One?" Is there such a thing as "choosing well" when it comes to a partner, or are we always looking to trade up to a "better model?" Laura and Crystal discuss a quote from Dean Spade's new book, "Love in a F*cked Up World."Resources discussed in this episode:We Grow the World TogetherBecoming KinEmergent StrategiesLove in a F*cked Up WorldTribal Justice on PBSRestorative JusticeJoin our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss recent viral videos that beg the question: When exactly does weaponized incompetence turn into emotional abuse? Is it always emotional abuse? Resources from this Episode:Fresh Starts RegistryTheHotline.OrgPower and Control WheelCycle of Abuse WheelJoin our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ever wonder if your standard for your partner is too high? Too low? Just right? In this episode, Laura and Crystal explore relationship dynamics when special circumstances like chronic illness and mental health are involved. How can a partnership like this be equitable in the domestic labor arena? Can it? Listen and tell us what you think! Get the "Check Yourself: Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Own Behavior" resource here!Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this weeks episode Laura and Crystal read a message from a follower and explore the idea of “if they wanted to they would.” We also give some of our thoughts on how to self-reflect to find solutions that work for us.Get the "Check Yourself: Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Own Behavior" resource here!Statistics on Queerness and NeurodivergenceStardust Cycle Tracker AppThe Birds, Bees, and the Elephant in The Room by Rachel Coler MullhullandJoin our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we discuss a viral video of a stand-up comedian, whose punchline is how incompetent dads are. We're not laughing.Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode of Time to Lean, we share a wild story about a woman who had a three-year-old dropped into the seat next to her on a flight—without a word from the parents.
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the complexities of family dynamics, particularly in the context of a viral gender reveal and the emotional labor involved in navigating relationships. They explore the concept of the 'mama's boy' dynamic, the importance of setting boundaries, and the cultural contexts that influence these interactions. The conversation also touches on the emotional toll of familial expectations and the need for self-awareness in managing relationships, especially during the holiday season.Mentioned on this episode:Link to the original video!Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Laura and Crystal discuss a viral video that ironically covers not only the Nag Paradox but also the double-standard myth that working outside the home should make a partner exempt from working inside the home with the other partner. Mentioned on this episode:Link to the original video!Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You know the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life?" Well in this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a refreshing take on this tired saying by creator @livunderthestairs. They discuss how it can be reframed more equitably, emphasizing shared responsibilities and emotional labor in relationships.Mentioned on this episode:Link to the original video!The Tragedy of HeterosexualityJoin our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothers to prioritize their kids and role as mom above all else, and the lack of autonomy and self-care for mothers.Mentioned on this episode:The viral Time's article on Ballerina FarmMarie Claire's Article on the Evie CoverAll Fours by Miranda JulySara Peterson's Article Re: Ballerina FarmJoin our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We have a listener-submitted question! Queen of Group Projects wants to know if she should feel bad for wanting her partner to do his own tasks ON HIS OWN, rather than together. Crystal and Laura discuss the purpose of delegating tasks, the benefits of alone time, and how to connect outside of the mundane day-to-day!For resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week's episode has us grappled with some conflicted feelings. We discuss an AITA where someone asks if they're being a jerk by not helping their partner who says they're overwhelmed by the holiday tasks - the same tasks the original poster handled on their own for years. Scratch your head and spiral out along with us.**Oops, you may notice this week's episode had the wrong audio on it! SORRY ABOUT THAT! - Laura You can find the resources we mention here: On our Patreon!For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week's episode has us grappled with some conflicted feelings. We discuss an AITA where someone asks if they're being a jerk by not helping their partner who says they're overwhelmed by the holiday tasks - the same tasks the original poster handled on their own for years. Scratch your head and spiral out along with us.You can find the resources we mention here: On our Patreon!For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we explore a viral video featuring a woman who always says she wants to relax, yet when the moment finally comes, she can't help but get up and keep doing something around the house. We talk through the relatable feeling of never truly switching off, especially for women who feel that even their downtime at home has to be “productive.” Join us as we spiral through the compulsion to stay busy and how deeply it's tied to societal expectations.For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)We
A very special episode, post-election. What now?Resources:National Domestic Violence HotlineWhat Are My Values? Free Worksheet from UsFresh Starts RegistryFresh Starts Experts (if you're in need of a financial advisor or therapist or anyone to walk you through next steps)Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)Resources Mentioned This Episode: DBT Assertiveness Scripts: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-4-Assertiveness-Scripts-and-Interpersonal-Rights-compressed.pdfDBT Boundaries Worksheet: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-8-Interpersonal-Boundaries-compressed.pdfDBT What Are Interpersonal Boundaries?: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/Gottman Four Horsemen and Antidotes: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/DBT TIPP: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/Distress Tolerance STOPP: https://www.hey.nhs.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/OHC_STOPP.pdf Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss Birthday Blues, expectations for partners, and how to move forward if they let you down.Links:Article from The CutTime to Read Book Club for October: Ace by Angela Chen!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the dynamics of a viral video that highlights the emotional labor women often experience in relationships, particularly during crisis or stressful situations. Have you ever felt gaslit by a calmer partner? This one's for you.Links:Original postFollow-Up VideoTime to Read Book Club for October: Ace by Angela Chen!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we interview Jessica Daylover, polyamorous storyteller, educator, mother of two and so much more - including Chief Executive Officer of the Nuclear Fusion App! Jessica shares her journey through motherhood, the challenges of raising a medically complex child, and her vision for community building through the Nuclear Fusion network. The conversation explores the importance of chosen families, the struggles of modern parenting, and the need for vulnerability and emotional intelligence in building connections. It's time to rethink traditional family structures and the value of community support in raising children.Join us as we discuss the question that's constantly on our minds - how do we connect with people and build the community connections we so desperately want?Check out the Nuclear Fusion App here!For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, Crystal reads Laura a story from a woman who faces a disastrous situation while recovering from abdominal surgery and heads to the internet to ask if she's overreacting for being upset. We don't want to spoil it... but she's definitely not overreacting.Read the Reddit post here!Get Ruth Whippman's book, Boy Mom For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this REPLAY episode, we revisit a discussion we had about common commentary along the lines of, "I'm not sure why you're so upset! I do what you ask. I never make demands of you. I'm fine, so it kind of seems like you're maybe just mad... to be mad." Oh, and the ole' "You're no fun anymore." EEk!Mentioned in this episode:https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/02/if-you-want-marriage-equals-then-date-equals/606568/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/10/business/gen-z-dating-pay-etiquette.htmlYou can find us on Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: This podcast is for entertainment and educational purposes. We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/timetoleanpod/message Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we respond to a listener email from someone who is feeling stuck. Their partner says they're on board, but actions don't reflect those commitments. We explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on the mental load, communication dynamics, and the concept of domestic equity. They discuss the challenges default partners face, the importance of setting boundaries, and the role of systems like Persist and Fair Play in managing household responsibilities. What do you do when you're feeling gridlocked and considering options? We talk about the power of community support and self-care - REAL self-care.Use code DANGER15 for a 15% discount to access the Persist web app.Get yourself a copy of Fair Play here!For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Is it your partner's job to make sure you get to work on time? In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a Reddit post about a woman who refuses to wake up her boyfriend in the morning, which has caused him to almost lose his job. They explore the dynamics of the relationship and the expectations placed on each partner. They also touch on the importance of allowing children to experience failure and develop problem-solving skills. The conversation highlights the need for self-advocacy and discernment in navigating relationships and personal growth. The conversation revolves around the dynamics of responsibility and accountability in a relationship where one partner has ADHD. The discussion highlights the challenges faced by the partner with ADHD in managing time and tasks, as well as the impact on the other partner. It explores the importance of self-awareness, communication, and mutual understanding in navigating these challenges. The conversation also touches on the need for individual independence and the potential consequences of relying too heavily on a partner for basic responsibilities.Links:Original AITA Post on RedditFor AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week's episode, we cover an absolutely WILD RIDE of an Am I The Asshole where a woman runs to the internet to ask if she's the asshole for divorcing her husband over lids that are too tight. This may be a spoiler... but in this episode, we also delve into the topic of GASLIGHTING!!A link to the original postGaslighting warning signsWikihow resource on gaslightingFor AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Laura and Crystal are joined by Toi Smith to discuss capitalism, motherhood, and collective liberation. How are they related, and how do we see them affect our day-to-day as we provide care in our homes? Toi Marie Smith is a growth and impact strategist whose work centers on doing life, business, and motherhood differently. She works with people whose work is countercultural, liberatory, and revolutionary in nature...or people who desire and are committed to moving their work or lives in that direction. You can find Toi @toimarie on Instagram and at ToiMarie.com. Cannibal CapitalismCaliban and the WitchCare: The Highest Stage of Capitalism Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we chat about the often-overlooked value of care work and the challenges of juggling work and family life. We share our personal stories about dealing with job insecurity, finding affordable childcare, and the mental toll it all takes. We also touch on how the pandemic has affected women's roles at home and why it's so important to push for fair pay and better support for care workers. It's all about recognizing the value of care work and coming together to create a more balanced and caring society.Post from Female QuotientFatherhood Bonus Article A Decolonial Feminism Braiding Sweetgrass Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Join us as we dive into the rollercoaster ride of decision-making in relationships! We tackle the hot topic of who does what at home and the mental juggling act that often leaves one person feeling like a circus performer. We'll chat about why it's crucial to have teamwork and open communication and explore the difference between handling the practical and emotional sides of a partnership and the art of finding a balance that works.Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Listen to Decoding Couples!Listen to A Fresh Story PodcastJoin us on Patreon! Get ad free episodes, exclusive updates and resources!Register for upcoming book clubs! Links to register and for info on the books here! Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss all things Back-to-Schoo! If you have kids or teach them or babysit them or are around them, you have felt the heavy mental load of this time of year. Join us in discussing this episode in our Patreon, meet up with us on Tuesdays to connect and ask questions-AND you can listen to our episodes AD-FREE for as low as $5 a month!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothers to prioritize their kids and role as mom above all else, and the lack of autonomy and self-care for mothers. Mentioned on this episode:The viral Time's article on Ballerina FarmAll Fours by Miranda JulyJoin our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Laura speaks with Ellyce Fulmore, author of the national bestseller Keep Finance Personal, a book dedicated to helping neurodivergent individuals approach their finances without shame! Find Ellyce @ellyce.fulmore, at Queerd Co., and on her podcast, Dopamine Dollars!Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we delve into the mental load and invisible pressures mothers and primary caregivers often face. We'll listen to a woman whose kids and partner complain about the sleeping conditions at the Airbnb they did nothing to help pick! We discuss the challenges of planning vacations, managing finances, and making family decisions, emphasizing open communication, shared responsibility, and empathy.Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, we have a tweet submitted from a listener regarding initial reactions in communication. We discuss collaborative versus competitive communication and how it deeply effects how men and women communicate.Mentioned on this episode:Gottman Article on Accepting Influence From a PartnerStudy on Collaborative vs Competitive CommunicationGet ad-free episodes and other perks on Patreon! Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IGFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week's episode focuses on an AITA found on reddit where the poster wanted to know if she was a jerk for asking her partner to let a cleaner into their flat when he was tired. This one was murky and we're dying to hear what you think! (Join the conversation over on Patreon. You can sub for free!)Read the AITA thread and comments here!Mentioned in this episode:Boy Mom by Ruth WhippmanEverything and Nothing at Once by Joel LeonGet ad-free episodes and other perks on Patreon! Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IGFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, we discuss how we can course-correct when balance arrives, but the perception of it is still skewed. What work is being noticed? What is being ignored? What can we do to shift the narrative, especially with kids?Referenced in the episode:Our Home by Lori Sugarman-LiReleasing the Mother Load by Erica DjossaParenting Beyond Power by Jen LumanlanJoin our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources One of us is a therapist, but not YOUR therapist--nothing in this podcast is meant to be a replacement for individual therapy. If you have concerns or an emergency, contact 911 for help.Get bonus content on Patreon Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, we discuss the challenges of packing! Why do we pack what we pack? What goes into the process, and why? Packing is a task that's full to the brim with care, consideration, and preparation. A well-planned, well-packed trip means everyone has a better time. Referenced in the episode:MultitoolBluey Episode: The PoolOutside Magazine ArticleJoin our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources One of us is a therapist, but not YOUR therapist--nothing in this podcast is meant to be a replacement for individual therapy. If you have concerns or an emergency, contact 911 for help.Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator, joins Laura and Crystal to talk about the nuances surrounding screens. A video recently went viral on Tiktok where a creator made some serious claims about the harms of screens. Ash chats with us about how you can set boundaries around screens, how screens can be tools and who's really to blame for the significant role they play in our lives. Ash creates amazing content on their IG page. Go check their website out here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources Interested in learning more about Fair Play? You can check out the book here or check out this youtube video!Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener question. She had a friend to visit for a few days and it ended very poorly. What is she supposed to do if she's dying for connection and the way she's getting those needs met are making him a bit miserable?Get ad-free episodes and join the conversation over on Patreon! Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/timetoleanpod/message Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Laura and Crystal dive into executive function, anxiety spirals and the complicated space of trying to emotionally regulate as a parent with your emotionally dysregulated kids. Join our Patreon!Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpodFollow Laura on social media @thatdarnchatFollow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbrittDomestic Violence Resources One of us is a therapist, but not YOUR therapist--nothing in this podcast is meant to be a replacement for individual therapy. If you have concerns or an emergency, contact 911 for help. Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.