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Hello and welcome to the only podcast that is "Regular Features". In this episode, Joe samples forbidden chlorinated delicacies of the new world, Ryan Coogler bugles his way into and out of yet another scrape, and Steve wonders what if Bebop out of Ninja Turtles wound up Pope.
Welcome back to the Regular Features podcast, the only podcast that enters your dreams every night to chase you around a big hedge maze. And when you wake up there are hedge clippings under your pillow. And when you shake your husband awake to tell him about the dream, he has OUR faces. Dream within a dream, baby! We're the only podcast that does that, we checked!! In this episode, an Instagram voodoo-witch lets Gav in on an ancient secret you WON'T believe. Joe invites you on a murder investigation with a SHOCKING twist. And Steve pings around pointlessly like a DVD logo.
It's another quiet day in the Regular Features stock market today, and OH MY GOD THE FEATURES INDEX IS CRASHING. Put in a big buy order for Log talking about Tinkletown! Sell your stocks in Pope futures, because Joe's lifting the lid on a smoky secret! And whatever you do, hold onto your animal facts, because Matt's flooding the market!
Welcome to Regular Features, the only podcast that's been clinically proven to be both big AND clever. In this week's episode, teenage Steve gets a visit from The Rock out of Wrestling, Matt intrudes into the personal doings of a Pikachu, and Log designs his own cash register, or "till", as in "I'm not serving you this pint till you give me coins for my cash register".
Are you a victim of shiny ham? Did you think it was like shiny beef (which is fine), ate it, and your hands fell off? Then are we the legal team for you! We will personally sue the pig who produced your ham that went shiny. If they're already dead, we'll sue their piglets. We will get you your money back! But not your hands, those are long gone. Actually, can you bring your hands to our law office? We want to see fallen-off hands, just for our own curiosity. And while you visit, we might play you an episode of Regular Features in which Matt finds out Mavis Beacon wasn't real, Log starts but - crucially - does not finish a feature, and Joe makes a startling discovery inside an audio illusion. DON'T DELAY IF YOU ATE BAD HAM.
Hello, my name is Betty Boop, the owner of the Regular Features podcast. I am 95 years old but still as sprightly as a bag of Tennessee pickles. Teehee. Anyway it is my pleasure to welcome you to another episode I suppose. In this one, Steve's still on about aeroplanes for some reason, Log discovers the origins of Hockley Nottingham's infamous Goose Gate, and Matt lists the horses from worst to blurst.
This week Bobby Williams' monkey movie has a grip on the Regular Features boys however one of the lads refuses to be caught up in the zeitgeist and has done a feature about Family Fortunes or summin'. This episode of the podcast is dediated to Twins director David Lynch.
New year, new you? No! Old year, OLD YOU. Open up those earholes and let us slither on in again, like you always do. Change is for the weak. Continuing to listen to Regular Features is strength. Phwoar. Look at you. Have you been working out. In this episode, Joe's got hoofs on the baize, Steve's got lungs out of phase, and Log's got heraldic insights that amaze. Roll tape!
Hello, this is an episode Regular Features. Please remain seated until your group number is called. In this episode, Log's friend Wolf Blitzer dispenses with his unruly cats. Matt dispenses playground justice. Steve dispenses a helicopter into a mountain. Joe dispenses a lost Elvis Presley recording.
Horpen up your gorp and slorp it orp, friend, it's a new episode of Regular Features, the podcast that just won't stop. If we stop doing it, we die! In this episode, Steve experiences a sensory deprivation tank. Log's friend visits a mysterious horny island. And Joe translates opera for our swine-ears, our uncultured hog-brains. Meep.
It's another episode of Regular Features, the podcast named "top result" by Spotify when you search for Regular Features in the podcasts section. In this episode, Steve writes an entirely original screenplay for an action movie. Joe dives deep into the horrid curse of the Kennedys. And Log, god love him, Log is simply standing there while this whole thing happens around him. What more can you ask?
Knock knock, open wide, see what's on the other side. Knock knock, any more, come with me through the magic door... of Regular Features! In this episode, Log finds out once and for all who dogs love the most, then reveals some behind-the-scenes gossip about the hit new videogame Thank Goodness You're Here. Steve addresses the Simmons in the room.
"Stop, Children, what's that sound?" Let me stop you right there, Buffalo Springfield, because I think I know the answer to this one. "That sound" is Episode 562 of Regular Features. And you know what? It very nearly wasn't. This is an unusual episode, in that it survived the total post-recording elimination of one participant, "Log", thanks entirely to "Log". This is the Little Podcast That Survived. It is a perfectly lovely Frankenstein of an episode. If you were a Lady Frankenstein, I reckon it'd be right up your street. If you *are* a Lady Frankenstein, and you want me to put you in touch, please send an SAE marked "I promise not to scream when Episode 562 calls me FRIEND, sending it into a suicidal rage" to WE BELONG DEAD PO Box 562 Ashby De La Zouch Thanks for being you. (Unless you're awful) Features Scheming Weasel by Kevin McLeod off of Incompetech.com
Well, I ate the whole thing. Shrug emoji! In this episode, Joe brings us to the aid of an ailin' 'n' flailin' maestra flautist, Gav discovers a hidden side effect of jelly boy bonification, and Steve delves deep into the Regular Features agony auntsack.
Here at Regular Features, we like to barge our way through old hotel doors and stumble into the room to find nothing but an open window and a fluttering curtain, then saying "he's gone", before YOU, our trusty sidekick, spots a hat on the hatstand and says "well wherever he's gone.. he's not wearing his hat". That's just how we like to do things, as you well know. In this episode, Log imagines what it might be like when eventually Laurence Fox leaves us all behind. Matt sets out to invent an entire arts and crafts movement. And Steve's friend deals with news of an impending vape ban. Ready!?
Gather round, gather round. No stop, that's too much gathering. Disperse... A little more... A little more. Well now you're far too dispersed, aren't you? You're gonna wanna give me just a hint more gathering. Woah woah woah, now you're even more gathered than the first time. So much for the wisdom of crowds, ya tightly packed throng o' boneheads. In this very chatty episode of Regular Features, Gav recounts the tale of our annual trip to the most happening Halloween party this side of Godalming. Steve hosts a "guess the TV theme tune" quiz in lieu of actually doing a feature. And Joe turns informant for anyone who'll listen. "Onion Capers" and "Newer Wave" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
You've heard of good podcasts, now get ready for fast podcasts. That's right, in this very special and speedy episode of Regular Features, Joe, Log and Steve will pepper your naked body with a quickfire hail of what science is calling "Actual Micro-Features". It's like we are feature Scarfaces, and the features are the bullets, and you are an entire Bolivian drugs cartel bent on revenge. Any smaller, and these features would be a sort of inhalable mist. And that simply wouldn't do, now would it? Say hello to our little features.
You can keep your Emily Maitlises and your Frost/Nixons, because Regular Features is finally pivoting to hot hot politics. In fact, we are the only politics podcast that doesn't have a Krishnan Guru-Murthy constantly riding around on an electric scooter in the background, and that's a Regular Features promise. In this episode, Log introduces us to the Republican Party presidential candidate nominees, thanks to a couple of hypnotic lanyards he found under his pillow one morning. Steve tries to help out his old friend Roger Helmer MEP with a professional calf massage. Remember to vote or something.
In this episode of Regular Features, Log's been playing the hip new rocket propelled grenade Final Fantasy 16. Steve's been caught dumping aspartame into all your favourite sugar free drinks. And Joe's found a prudish new sponsor who'll take us from curse... to worse!
Main Feature: Karen Yager discusses teaching using concept based curriculum.Regular Features: Kolber's Corner - Steven reflects on why we don't often promote teachers or teaching to the public; Ideology in Education, Tom Mahoney explores the ideooogy underpinning teacher workloads; Education in the News, Cameron discusses the recent federal budget, and the Price Waterhouse Coopers crisis as it may apply to education.Links at www.terpodcast.comSupport TER Podcast at Patreon.com/TERPodcastTER Podcast on TwitterFollow TER Podcast on Facebook
This episode is with Landlord of the King Billy pub and one fifth of the Regular Features podcast Jon "Log" Blyth
Main Feature: Ellen Koshland of the Australian Learning Lecture, and authors Chris Bonnor and Tom Greenwell discuss the recent report Choice and Fairness: a common framework for all Australian schools, which outlines a proposed model for funding Australkian schools that addresses the issues of equity and segregation that are identified as rivers of educational decline.Regular Features: Kolber's Corner, Steven Kolber invites teachers to consider their cultural backgroud and concepts of normalcy; Ideology in Education, Tom Mahoney considers the ideological foundation of the practices of standardisation in eucation.Links:– Support TER Podcast at www.Patreon.com/TERPodcast– Steven Kolber on Twitter– Tom Mahoney on Twitter– The issue of increasing disruption in Australian school classrooms– Choice and Fairness: A Common Framework for all Australian schoolsSupport TER Podcast at Patreon.com/TERPodcastTER Podcast on TwitterFollow TER Podcast on Facebook
Support TER Podcast at www.Patreon.com/TERPodcastMain Feature: Kathy Mills, Len Unsworth, and Laura Scholes, authors of the book "Literacy for Digital Futures", discuss how the concept of literacy has evolved in the 21st century, where digital technologies are increasingly integrated into our communication and daily lives. The book explores the idea that literacy is no longer just about print-based skills, but also involves knowledge of digital platforms and technologies, including coding and gaming.Regular Features: Kolber's Corner, Steven Kolber presents strategies for increasing productivity with easily accessible apps; Ideology in Education, Tom Mahoney continues his reflection on the ideologies underpinning the Science of Learning movement; Education in the News, Cameron reflects on the sudden announcement of the departure of the NSW Education Secretary.Timecodes:00:00 Opening Credits01:31 Intro03:34 Kolber's Corner10:48 Ideology in Education19:31 Education in the News30:44 Feature introdcution33:31 Interview - Literacy for Digital Futures01:29:28 Patron Shout OutsLinks and Transcripts here.Support TER Podcast at Patreon.com/TERPodcastTER Podcast on TwitterFollow TER Podcast on Facebook
Hoik up your britches and join us in the Regular Features tide pool, but mind you don't step on a hermit crab or one of those cool wet slugs. They were here first and we are their guests in the tide pool. We must always remember that the wet slug is our hostess. Write it down. Write down in your copybook that the wet slug is your hostess before you get into the tide pool. In this episode, Joe is visited by a Babadook who wants to set the record straight. And Steve's received a newsletter from Roger Helmer with some top ideas about where to house asylum seekers. Log? Well, Log attended. He was *there*. You can't take that away from him.
Welcome to the far future, where Blobbies buy you on eBay. Frightened yet? Well listen to Regular Features and feel a lot nicer about yourself.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire... writes the crime scene investigator in his crime solving notepad, as he shakes his head and cries into an evidence bag in the charred ruins of a house. It was a crime scene investigation this entire time, that's the twist. Please be fire safe this Christmas! Turn off your Christmas lights and don't play with candles. Okay! Let's have some Regular Features. In this one, Log has some advertisements for other podcasts on the Regular Features network. Steve writes a jilted Log/Joe gem-hunt fanfic. Joe recalls his favourite Christmas song. GO.
There's never been a better time to invest in worms. Worms are under you right now, working around the clock to make the rotten wet soil nice for daisies. Worms are versatile! They act like novelty Banana Boats for holidaymaking earwigs - AND they make chic scarves for robins in winter. And when the weather warms up? Don't put your worm scarf in the wardrobe! Rip it off, peck it to shreds, and eat a bit of it before getting startled by a cat. Worms are at the intersection of fungus and tree. Their thought processes are so alien to us that we can only look on in bewilderment when we see a ball of 3,200 pregnant worms rolling down a hill. Take it from me, if a ball of 3,200 pregnant worms stops rolling down a hill, you hear a record scratch, and a worm narrator says "I guess you're wondering how I got into this situation", you POLITELY WALK AWAY. Please enjoy this very special episode of Regular Features, in which Log and Joe both done features about worms, because nobody else turned up to stop them
Please, for god's sake, put down the weapon... and pick up a BIG SMILE because it is time for Regular Features actually. This week, Joe takes policing into his own hands, and Steve talks about a creature that doesn't even HAVE hands (but it does have a gun). Log turns up, but then leaves because a member of the glitterati had twizzled in to give us the inside scoop on Hollywood's biggest ever problem: James Corden.
You know how submarines are designed to go under the water and do torpedos and pinging and that? Well we've just come up with an idea for a new type of submarine that goes above the water. We can't give you any more details but let's just say it's called a SURmarine, it can carry 140 tactical nuclear warheads, and you CAN'T get it wet. In this episode of Regular Features, we receive a letter from an underwater-faring surmarine. Log checks in with our old friend Wolf Blitzer. And Joe envisions how each of us would die in a Cluedo-style murder mystery type scenario. Let's go!
Show Notes: Introduction 0:00.000 Owning Woketards By Sperming Them Up 2:56.074 How Classified Government Documents Are Like Child Pr0n 8:18.697 Painful Head Waxing 11:40.864 A Gay Domestic Dispute Featuring A WWE Wrestler 13:10.577 Road Rage – Off Duty Cop Edition 18:57.736 Regular Features’s Ode To Scat! – Check Out The Podcast 23:30.716 Sign Up For […] The post Sperming Up The Woketards first appeared on Distorted View Daily.
Show Notes: Introduction 0:00.000 Owning Woketards By Sperming Them Up 2:56.074 How Classified Government Documents Are Like Child Pr0n 8:18.697 Painful Head Waxing 11:40.864 A Gay Domestic Dispute Featuring A WWE Wrestler 13:10.577 Road Rage – Off Duty Cop Edition 18:57.736 Regular Features’s Ode To Scat! – Check Out The Podcast 23:30.716 Sign Up For […] The post Sperming Up The Woketards first appeared on Distorted View Daily.
Guess what, we're pivoting to HONEY SALES now. That's right, Regular Features has produced a small batch of 100% organic honey with the help of a hive of bees in North London. Visit our shop at the link below to grab your jar of our special sticky reserve today, before they're all gone! https://regularfeatures.com/shop/honey-by-regular-features/ To celebrate our new venture, in this episode we take you behind the scenes on a tour of the very hive our honey got scraped out of. We can hardly believe it either.
This might sound like a special in which we include deleted scenes from past episodes of Regular Features, but it ISN'T. What it actually contains is Log and Joe joining forces for a never-before-seen twoboy episode in which they theme multiple micro-features along the theme of deleted scenes. We've got the Green Mile, we've got Se7en, we've got Big Yellow Taxi, we've got My Baby All-Gone, and we've got even more tenuous connections than that. And if you DARE suggest that this is being called a special because we hadn't properly counted how many episodes there were before the episode 500 live show, we will just kick right off, capisce?! Fig Leaf Rag Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ "Breaking News" Credit: https://www.FesliyanStudios.com Background Music
This week's episode of Regular Features is presented, as always, in high-quality .wav format. You make a .wav by walking up the holy mountain and holding your Zune to the sky. A single raindrop will fall into the 3.5mm headphone jack, and a .wav will be shat out. It's beautiful. This week's .wav is filled with a spicy, sexy episode of Star Trek, a look into the newest FIFA game on PS2, and a discussion of why you'd ever want to be in a bath full of Beelzebub's juice - wine.
Well aren't you just knee high to a horse, you lovely little thing. Let me give your hair a ruffle, oh you're ever so cu- YOU JUST BIT ME. Why did you bite me? I just came along to tell you what's in this week's episode of Regular Features and now I shall have to get a shot for some kind of muddy disease. Serves me right for trying to be nice. Well here's the low-down I SUPPOSE: Matt has had a crazy weekend fistbumping rappers and trying not to be bullied by children. Steve has his hands on a precious audio tape of some dirty words from a beloved childhood figure. Log invites his friend Kirsten Dunst along to show us her nine different accents. Joe is angry at an older man again, this time for believing in himself. Look! I'm bleeding! That was very rude of you.
Well, there's nothing else for it, we'll simply have to do another episode of the Regular Features podcast IF IT SO SUITS THEIR HIGHNESS. In this one, Log fails to groom an heir to his publican throne, and Joe mourns the loss of the thing where the continuity guy talks about Hollyoaks over Danny Elfman music. Steve is here, as useless as ever, staring slackjawed into the sun like a statue. Love you!
Have you ever wanted to know how Regular Features' greatest stories came to be? Have you ever wondered how Grapesalicious gained her penchant for a piece of pink peppercorn? Or how Buck Pawchucker became mayor? What about how Gav surivived? Well, we answer NONE of these questions in this otherwise origin story-packed ordeal from Steve, Log, and Joe. Strap them lugholes into a helment - you're about to go back in time using only your freakin' ears.
Gavin and Joe infiltrated a world of alakazams by putting on cloaks and big hats and saying that they knew what a spell was, and now they present to you, the Regular Features reader, a special report on the Blackpool Magic Convention 2022. If, while you read this episode, your whole body falls off, don't be afraid - it's just magic. Kazoo Orchestra does Danse Macabre by Imaginary Kazoo Orchestra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj9yMUWjtyA
Ohhhh big stretch. Regular Features is all snoozy and cosy in bed! It is so warm and nice under the Regular Features duvet, we could just stay here forever. Do you want to climb in with us? There's a space here just for you! Don't worry about that thing you've got to do, just wiggle your way in between us and have a big yawn and a nice rest. That's right. We'll blow you sweet little kisses while you drift off. There we are. In this episode, Steve's got all sleepy. Joe can levitate now. And Log conjures James Van Der Beek. Shhhh. Shhhh.
There's a legend around these parts, a legend about a kid who filled his belly button with bird seed and waited in the garden. "Any minute now", he thought, "a robin will land on my tummy and eat the seed out of my belly button!" But the Robin never came, because the boy kept rolling around and shouting and farting. His mother came out and said "you'll never catch a robin if you roll around, shouting and farting!" And the boy said "well I don't want a Robin then, Robins can suck it". And you know what? That little boy grew up to be the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991. Enjoy this episode of Regular Features, where a little crab with a secret teaches Sophie Ellis-Bextor the meaning of death, a goose gets looser than she's used to, and the full geometrical range of the Dr Oetker factory gets explored in thrilling detail! Musical credits: Onion Capers Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Hello it's me, the grape stomping lady who fell out of a bucket of grapes in a viral video from 2007. In this episode of Regular Features, Winnie the Pooh falls into Log's public domain, and a falling log wins Joe's public acclaim (which is to say he saw a poop in a TV show and wondered what if all TV shows got a poop in their finale). I hope you enjoy the episode, Steve is in it too and he does a fart!! Love, Grape Stomping Lady from 2007
From our screaming throats to your hungry ears, it's another episode of Regular Features, the only podcast that's got us in it. In this episode, Joe chronicles the greatest number you've never heard about unless you read the episode title. Steve unlocks an exciting new octave thanks to possible permanent scarring of the larynx. And Log rates and review every mince pie within a ten minute mince pie fuelled sprinting distance. Let's go, actually.
Make no bones about it, it's episode 466 of the Regular Features podcast. Hey, you in the back there with the bones, what are you making? A diorama of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand? Oh okay. You're definitely not making bones about this episode are you? No? Oh yes, we see the little motorcade of femurs now, and it's very clever how you've used a scapula to portray Gavrilo Princip. Wow, and this is your hobby is it? It's fascinating. We've just got to write this podcast description, but we'd love to talk to you more about your bone thing later. Maybe over a drink haha. Oh you do this with your girlfriend do you? That's cool, yeah yeah no that's cool she can come too. Anyway. Log unearths ancient Google Doc fan fiction. Matt is ambassador for playground slides. Steve blossoms into a fine young gentleman. Let's go!
According to the big Regular Features egg-timer on the roof, it's been exactly ten years since we invented podcasting. To celebrate, we've given ourselves a facelift. The unparalleled Sonny Ross has created new podcast art. The Patreon has an exciting new tier. And as for us? Well, we're only speaking in Spanish from now on. Por favor... www.patreon.com/regularfeatures En este episodio, Gav intenta meternos en el Libro Guinness de los Récords Mundiales. Y Joe recibe la visita de un magnate de las media sociales enormo, MySpace. Por los próximos diez años!
Here at Regular Features, we like to push boundaries. That's why we're the first podcast to ever discuss BDSM without giggling or being sick into the microphone. In this episode, Log talks about hardcore leather strap velcro kink sex, then Joe, apparently unaware of the theme, discusses tuna. Steve, god bless him, is just sort of... there? What a strange boy.
Main Feature: Amanda Heffernan and Fiona Longmuir discuss their research into the different perceptions of teachers and teaching held by the public and by those in the profession. Regular Features:... Want to learn about teaching and education in Australia?
I'm on a secret pirate island now, sorry!! Sorry everyone. In this one, Steve gets his coronavirus vaccination. Joe, desperate to keep up with Steve's trailblazing lifestyle, gets HIS vaccination too. Then Log launches a Regular Features podcast network, just to keep you on your toes. Bassa Island Game Loop by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3424-bassa-island-game-loop License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Now imagine it's a speedboat, and you've broken every maritime law there is, and you're on the run from the boat police. Now stop, calm down. None of this is happening, and you're listening to Regular Features actually. Log has written his own pub menu app, and Gav is gestating a viral tweet that's just aching to be twooted. Steve stands lookout, in case the pigs start sniffing around.
In this very special episode of Regular Features, we tackle the real issues facing our societies todays, what are named of: kayak mishaps, duck tits, Channel 4 anchors, a jungle disease (red flower), some guys who live in a bed even way after they're dead, and what to do about a Tim Allen. Excuse me, but please save your laughs for another episode, because it's time we got serious, and that's not even a joke.
Tuck in your elbows, lock eyes with the person you love the most, and then hurl yourself out of the nearest window, because it's time for another episode of the Regular Features podcast. In this one. Log gets a visit from his good friend Eartha Kitt. Steve takes you on a saucy Loyd Grossman adventure. Joe shares an old family recipe. And Gav emits an inaudible hum that will cook your unsuspecting sinuses in ten minutes FLAT.