Broadcasts – Christian Working Woman

A study showed if you have a good friend at work, you are much more likely to be satisfied with your job. How would you describe your work relationships? Do you just tolerate your coworkers, or would you count at least some of them as good friends? Your answer to those questions could have a lot to do with how you feel about your job. I want to talk about what you can do to work well with others, to make those working relationships more pleasant and to have more unity where you work. The workplace can bring out the worst in people, but as ambassadors for Jesus Christ, the workplace is our opportunity to shine as lights in a dark place and change the atmosphere by learning how to work well with others. One person can make a difference, so why shouldn't that one person be you? Here is my number one suggestion for working well with others: Don't play the blame game. Shifting the blame for any situation is a big no-no. I'm not suggesting you take blame for something that was not your responsibility, but don't alienate coworkers by pointing fingers, especially in a meeting or where multiple people are present. Often problems must be addressed and those responsible must be identified and corrected. But the way you go about this will make all the difference in helping correct a problem or making it worse. You should always confront privately, one-on-one, after you have had time to think it through, form your words, control your anger, and make sure you're speaking truth in love—meaning you're doing this for the good of the other person not to vent your frustration. You could win a person over this way. Remember, pick your fights. There are some hills that simply aren't worth dying on, so be willing to let some things go.

I thought it important to talk about times of crucial conversations, because quite honestly, they can be helpful in unifying people on the job. But if not handled correctly, they can cause division. As Christ-followers we should always speak the truth in love, and that just means you hold these crucial conversations for the purpose of helping another person understand, keeping their welfare in mind. You speak the truth with the right motivation. Every crucial conversation needs to be surrounded by prayer. If you know in advance that such a conversation will occur, obviously you have time to pray specifically about it. If not, that's when you send up emergency prayers for that conversation. If you will pray in advance, asking for wisdom, making certain your motivation is one of helping not blaming or condemning, asking God to help you see this person as he does, it will make a huge difference in how you handle the conversation. Here's an example of a crucial conversation on your job: Imagine you are a manager, and you have an employee who is not being truthful with you. Records are lost, money is missing, reports are doctored—and now you must have a crucial conversation with this employee about these issues. The stakes are high—the employee could be fired—and you are already feeling the emotions of such a conversation in advance. How do you handle this crucial conversation? Consider first that it is best not to cause the other person to become defensive or shut down and refuse to share if you can avoid it. Even if you have proof that they are guilty, a finger-pointing approach doesn't work. In our hypothetical case, you might begin by saying, “If the information I have is correct, it seems that your reports are not factually accurate, and it appears that the use of funds has not been according to company policy. Can you shed any light on these?” Think of what you really want to achieve through this crucial conversation. Do you want the relationship to survive? Do you want this person to learn from these mistakes and move forward? If your goal is not only to confront wrongdoing but to correct it and move forward, then think of how you need to approach this person to achieve those results. In a conversation about a church situation where a staff person had to be confronted about wrong behavior, the question was asked, “Did you try to restore that person?” In this case, the position had to be relinquished because of the nature of the offense, but was anyone trying to help restore this person spiritually? Unfortunately, the answer was no. The goal was to ask for his resignation, with little or no thought given to restoration. This conversation might have had a better outcome if the goal of the conversation had been more than just requesting a resignation but also trying to restore that person to a right relationship with God. Galatians 6:1 reminds us: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. That's a good guideline for determining our purpose for a crucial conversation. Now, let's talk about how we deal with strong emotions in a crucial conversation. If you're like me, you probably have difficulty controlling your emotions when you're in these situations. Crucial conversations are almost always high-charged emotional conversations. They are about issues that are sensitive; they often bring to light some wrong behavior or mistake that is not easy to talk about. And that can cause all kinds of emotional responses. In this hypothetical situation of an employee who has proven to be dishonest in several areas, it's like catching your kid with his hand in the cookie jar—the proof is irrefutable, but they still try to avoid the consequences. So, how can this crucial conversation move forward to an effective conclusion when you or the other person is angry, scared, or hurt?

If you had a person who caused you lots of grief, would you pass up an opportunity to get back at that person? Our friend, Fran, could have gotten her boss in trouble, but because Jesus was beside her, giving her love and pity for Marilyn, she has chosen to back off and let Marilyn off the hook. Marilyn can't cover up her obvious relief as she realizes Fran won't insist on her right to escalate this issue. Marilyn realizes Fran has saved her a lot of potential trouble. "Okay," Marilyn says, "I'll get off a memo to you confirming what we've agreed to. And this will all be between us. If you can improve your rating, then no one has to know about the whole thing—right?" "Sure, Marilyn," Fran replies, and she gets up to leave. Marilyn closes the door behind her, and Fran has a strong feeling Marilyn may have ended up in tears. "Jesus, if I'd been on my own, I would have kept pushing her and insisted on talking with Ed. But now I see that by backing off, I've shown Marilyn mercy—the way you always show mercy to me—and her whole attitude changed toward me—right in front of my eyes." "Well, Fran," Jesus replies, "that's why I guided you to back off. You had every right to escalate this matter to a higher level, and Marilyn's lie would have been exposed. But you chose to show mercy to Marilyn. You were able to see her through my eyes, and so instead of getting angry and demanding your rights, you gave them up. Marilyn just read I Corinthians 13." "She did?" Fran replies. "I didn't see a Bible on her desk? I don't think she's ever read the Bible, Lord." "No, not in the Bible, she read it in you, Fran. You are the Living Edition of God's Word. Now, you can wait and see what will happen because you chose to be merciful.” Jesus says the words Fran longs to hear: "Well done, good and faithful servant." Tears come to Fran's eyes. Just to know the Lord is pleased with her is all she needs to know. "You know, Lord," Fran says, "even if I'd been fired on the spot, I could make it just hearing you say those words to me. I guess I don't really need Marilyn's good appraisal; all I need is yours." "If you'll keep that clearly focused in your mind, Fran, you'll always do the right thing," Jesus says. Fran has had another incredible lesson from Jesus on how to deal with difficult situations. And in the process, she's been a witness to a woman who desperately needs to know Jesus. Who knows what will come from all this.

Fran has been given a very bad appraisal and put "on notice" by her manager, Marilyn, because Fran refused to submit dishonest numbers to a prospect, as Marilyn told her to do. With Jesus to guide her, Fran has calmly asked to exercise her right to talk with the VP of Human Resources, Ed, and voice her disagreement with the very bad appraisal she received. It has become clear to Fran, by the way Marilyn is reacting, that she doesn't want her to talk to Ed, and she is certain Marilyn has been lying to her. Marilyn stares at Fran with a look of fear and hatred, and she says to Fran, "If you think you can get me in trouble, you're wrong, Fran. My job is secure; they'll believe what I tell them, not what you write on that form or say to Ed." For the first time, Fran sees Marilyn is an insecure, desperate woman. The facade of being in charge and having it all together has fallen off like a coat. Seeing this, Fran can feel nothing but pity for Marilyn. "Lord," she says to Jesus, "look at her. She's pitiful." "Yes, Fran, you're looking through my eyes now and you see Marilyn to be what she is: A very insecure and frightened woman,” Jesus says to Fran. And now Fran knows what she should do. She turns to Marilyn, and says, "You know, Marilyn, maybe it's not really necessary for me to talk to Ed at this time. If you'll just tell me exactly what I have to do to improve my performance, and put that in writing for me, I'll do everything I can honestly do to improve. I believe another appraisal will be due in three months, and hopefully by then you will be able to change it. That could solve the whole issue, couldn't it?" Fran turns to Jesus with a funny look. "I didn't intend to say that, Lord. Where did that come from?" Jesus smiles at her. "From me. You prayed that your words would be pleasing to me, so I put them in your mind. That's an answer to prayer, Fran." Fran is amazed, and she looks at Marilyn, who has quietly sat down and seems much calmer, almost sheepish. "Fran," she says, "I, uh, I'm sure, uh... Well, yeah, I think that's a possibility. You could possibly pull your appraisal up in three months. Do you still want to talk to Ed?" Marilyn asks. "No," Fran replies, "as long as I have in writing exactly what I'm supposed to do, I'm willing to give it a three-month trial before talking to Ed." Fran could have caused Marilyn a lot of trouble; instead, she chooses to show mercy. And all because Jesus was there with her, guiding her every word.

Fran, our workplace woman has just received a very unfair and vindictive appraisal from her manager. This means Fran will be officially "on notice," and could lose her job in three months. She went into panic mode, but with Jesus right beside her, she hears him tell her exactly what to say. Fran turns to Marilyn, her boss, "Well, Marilyn, I think the procedures give me the right to voice my objection to this appraisal. I'd like to express my feelings." Marilyn's face gets redder, and she stands over Fran intimidatingly. "You can do whatever you like, but it won't get you anywhere. I've reviewed all this with Ed, Vice President of Human Resources, and he's in total agreement with what I've done. Insubordination is an offense for which any employee can be fired. You'll find it in the personnel handbook, if you don't believe me." "Oh, I believe you, Marilyn," Fran replies, "but I don't feel I've been insubordinate, and I'd like to follow the procedures for expressing how I feel.” Fran is amazed at the calmness in her voice, and the peaceful feeling she has. She's also amazed at Marilyn's lack of control; she's never seen her so angry and hateful. Jesus whispers in Fran's ear, "Please remember that Marilyn is angry because you did the right thing. You were a light shining in her darkness, and she didn't like it. Don't take it personally; I'm going to get you through this, Fran, I promise." Just hearing his voice assures Fran, and the peace that passes understanding sweeps over her. But somehow, the more peaceful she feels, the more upset and out of control Marilyn seems to be. After pacing in front of Fran, Marilyn turns and says, "There's a place on page 3 of the appraisal for your comments, if you insist on getting yourself in further trouble. After you write them, return the appraisal to me. I'll take it to Ed." "Marilyn," Fran says, "I can request an interview with Ed, isn't that right?" When Fran sees how angry this makes Marilyn, she says to Jesus, "Oops, I think I said the wrong thing. Guess I shouldn't have brought that up, huh Lord?" "No," Jesus responds, "it's okay, Fran. Marilyn is uncomfortable because she's been lying to you, and she knows you could get her in a bunch of trouble if you go talk to Ed." "Lying to me? Why, of course," Fran replies. Suddenly it's all so clear to Fran. Marilyn is bluffing about Ed, trying to frighten Fran. She never dreamed Fran would think of talking to Ed. And now Fran has the advantage over Marilyn. All she has to do is insist on her right to talk to Ed, and Marilyn will be in trouble. What will Fran do now?

Our friend, Fran, a workplace woman, was headed into her boss's office for her annual appraisal. But thankfully, she's not going there alone; she is aware Jesus is right beside her. "Come on in, Fran," Marilyn says in a rather rigid voice, as she closes the door behind her. "I've already completed your appraisal, and what I'd like you to do is look it over and then we'll discuss it.” She hands Fran the appraisal form. Fran's eyes begin to focus on the appraisal form and slowly she realizes she has been given a very poor appraisal. Marilyn has given her the grade of "Does not meet the requirements of the job," which means Fran will be put on notice. By being put on notice, she is given three months to improve and if not, she will be fired. She gulps hard and silently prays. "Lord, do you see this? Can you believe it? There's no way she can justify this poor rating. It means I get no raise, and I may get fired. Lord!" "Yes, Fran, I see it. The important thing now is to stay calm. Remember, you prayed about your words, so be very careful what you say. Measure your words carefully," Jesus assures her. With her heart beating like crazy, Fran looks up at Marilyn. "I guess you can see that this appraisal is very shocking to me. I really don't understand how you can honestly appraise my work as not meeting the requirements. Here are my sales figures; as you know, I'm second in the whole office in volume and first in customer retention. I just don't understand," Fran says to Marilyn, as she hands her the sales figures. "Listen, Fran, numbers don't tell the whole story. You demonstrated a total unwillingness to obey orders, you were insubordinate, and as a result we lost the D3 University business. I could fire you for that, Fran, but I'm giving you a break. You have three months to shape up and decide if you're a team player or not. Otherwise, you'll be looking for another job." Fran can't believe her ears. "Jesus," she says, "are you going to let her get by with this? You know how unfair this is; after all, I was doing what you told me, I was doing the right thing, and now I'm about to lose my job. Jesus, where are you?" "I'm right here, Fran; I haven't moved an inch," he says comfortingly to her. "Have I ever failed you?" he asks Fran. "Have I ever left you or forsaken you?" "No," Fran replies, "but this is different. I'm really in trouble. What do I do?" "I thought you'd never ask," says Jesus, and he begins to put into her mind what to say to Marilyn.

I continue the story of our friend, Fran and Jesus on the Job. A few months ago, Fran was faced with an ethical decision. She actually refused to make a presentation to a client using deceptive methods—even though her manager asked her to do it—and as a result the account was taken away from her. She made the right choice, though it wasn't easy. Today, as Fran arrives at work, she's a little nervous because it's the day for her appraisal with her manager, Marilyn. She says to Jesus: "I'll be glad when this is over. I hate appraisals. But I hope it goes well because the better the appraisal, the more raise I get, and I could use a nice raise." Jesus replies: "Fran, I'll go right into that appraisal with you, so take a deep breath and know that whatever happens, I'm in this with you." "Thanks, Lord," she smiles at Jesus' words of encouragement. It really helps her to keep her perspective. After all, she works for Jesus not for Marilyn, and as long as he is pleased with her work, she has the approval that is important. "You know, Lord, my track record is good this year. I was second highest in sales volume in the whole office, and my account retention record is the best. And, you know, I got that big order from John Warton last week; nobody's been able to break that account before. So, I think I'm in good shape." "Do you think Marilyn will have anything to say about the D3 University account, Fran?" Jesus asks. The D3 University account is the one Fran had to give up because she refused to submit deceptive figures in her proposal. Marilyn gave it to Tom, a young salesman, who blew it and lost the business. "Well, who knows, Lord, but with my good record, I don't see how she can refuse to give me a good rating on my appraisal. After all, I didn't lose that account; Tom did! Well, it's about time to go.” Fran starts to rush out. "Why don't you have a quiet moment of prayer before you go in there? Do you have time?" Jesus asks. Fran smiles, as she shuts her office door. "Of course I do, Lord. I can't afford not to take time for prayer, can I?” She sits down beside Jesus and prays quietly, "Dear Father, give me your strength, your perspective, your calmness and your peace as I go into this appraisal. I ask you to put the right words in my mouth. I pray for a favorable appraisal, if that is your will. Thanks for giving me Jesus to be right here beside me during this. That helps a lot. I pray this in his name. Amen." Together they head toward Marilyn's office for the appraisal.

Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 20 that is a puzzle for us to understand. It's the story of an employer who offers to hire workers for a certain amount, the workers agree to the pay, and they go to work in his vineyard. Some start working early in the morning and work all day, others are hired throughout the day, and finally at five o'clock this employer hires even more people to come and work in the vineyard for the last hour of the day. At the end of the workday, the employer pays them the exact same amount, even though some have worked twelve hours, some ten, and some just one hour. Well, as you can understand, those who worked the entire day were not happy campers. When they received the pay they had agreed to, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,' they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day' (Matthew 20:11-12). To our human minds, this just seems wrong! It's not fair! Those are probably some of the first words you ever uttered: It's not fair! We're born with an “it's not fair” attitude—wanting things to be equal, fair, right. But this parable emphasizes the fact that the Kingdom of God is not a fair kingdom! Grace is not fair. God pours his grace and blessings on us though we never deserve them. The Kingdom of God is run on Jesus rules—and those are totally different than the way the world works. Jesus tells this parable to help his followers understand that he will bless those he chooses to bless and be generous to those he chooses, and we should always remember how unfairly God has treated us—and be very grateful. He doesn't deal with us as our sins deserve. He doesn't dispense grace to us based on our performance. His kingdom is not like ours; his rules are usually the opposite of what the world's rules are. As Jesus tells this parable, this is how the landowner responds: But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?' (Matthew 20:13-15). Jesus is trying to show us that God is God, and he runs the show. He rules the universe. It runs on the Jesus rules. But here's the thing—the Jesus rules are meant to bring us peace and contentment, and they do when we live by them. It's upside-down living, I know, but it brings immediate and eternal joy. His message in this parable is that we are to work without envy. We are not to compare ourselves to others and envy what others get or have or do. Envy will eat you alive. Proverbs 14:30 says: A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Is there some envy in your heart today—toward coworkers or others? It will rot your bones—destroy your health, shorten your life. If you want to work by Jesus rules, then you need to clean out the envy in your heart. Believe me, you'll be so glad you did. In Matthew 21 Jesus tells the parable of the two sons. The father told the first son to go work in the vineyard. That son refused to go, but later he changed his mind and went. The second son agreed to go, but then he didn't. Jesus asked, Which of the two did what his father wanted? Obviously the first son did what his father asked. One of the things this parable teaches us is that we should walk our talk. The second son gave the right answer, he looked and sounded good, but he failed to deliver. He was all talk and no walk. A good rule of thumb is “Under promise and over deliver.” That's what the first son did. He delivered more than he promised. His talk wasn't very impressive, but he actually went out and got the work done. Have you known people who could talk a really good game but never put the elbow-grease behind their talk?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen What is clear is that as followers of Jesus Christ we are called to handle conflict differently. In verse 1 of John 16, Jesus says to his disciples, all this I have told you so that you will not fall away. Why is this significant? This singular verse follows John 15, and Jesus teaching about abiding. Just as we discussed earlier this week, Jesus knew we would face conflict. In fact, he is even more specific about this conflict in John 15:18. Jesus reminds us that if the world hates us know that it hated him before it hated you or me. Now let's put this together. Jesus wants us to abide, because he knows we will need him. He knows we need his love, his friendship, his counsel and his joy. The conflicts in our day to day are heavy, but sometimes our Father is using these conflicts to help us to bear more fruit for his Kingdom. Yes, I said it. God uses these conflicts to grow us! John 15:2 states, every branch that does bear fruit he prunes that it will bear more fruit. Pruning is a verb meant to trim by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth. Sometimes conflict happens to remove things from our lives that don't belong. That could be at work too. God can use these moments to shine a light of our need for a greater reliance or abiding with him. Another word used in these verses in place of abide is remain. Remain or stay. How often are we not remaining with Jesus? Are we wandering too far from the perfect, life-giving vine of Jesus Christ? This is the vine of perfect love—a vine that says we can ask whatever we wish in Jesus' name! A vine that doesn't consider us servants but friends. A vine that apart from, we can do nothing. Don't ever forget this. Apart from Jesus we can do nothing. This means conflict. We should not engage in conflict without seeking Jesus. Now, conflict isn't the only pruning God uses in our lives, but surely when we are in the midst of conflict, God's number one goal for us is how we seek him in the trial!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Is a past conflict weighing on you? Perhaps it is something someone did to you or is it the other way around? As Christians in the workplace, we must hold ourselves to the higher standards of a calling to live our life in a way that reflects Jesus to others. More specifically, we are called to the greatest command to love one another as Jesus Christ loved us. The problem can be sometimes that our past conflicts may impact how others view our actions now or how we view others. Perhaps you weren't following Jesus when you started working. You lead a very different life now, but people that knew you “before” remember conflict you caused. Old behaviors where maybe you caused conflict can linger. Maybe you were prone to carry the office gossip, or perhaps you took credit for a project that you worked on with other colleagues! But now you walk away and try not to say anything, and you try to ensure that you give words of encouragement to others for the work they do. Your choice not to engage in these old behaviors any more may even isolate you from colleagues or even a boss. Those that knew you as the office gossip or credit grabber may not initially trust your good intentions. Paul is a terrific example of a follower who started off his vocation creating a lot of conflict. From the book of Acts, we know Saul was a persecutor of the followers of Jesus. They were truly frightened of Saul! After his miraculous conversion, Saul, now Paul, is brought back to Jerusalem to meet with the disciples. And, you guessed it, they were initially afraid to meet with him! What conflict with someone from the past has impacted you? Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of conflict. Maybe a colleague or boss placed the blame on you for a key project not being completed on time. Have you been on the receiving end of that gossip? Maybe you were called out for your faith or for holding a point of view that is contrary to others in your workplace. None of this builds trust or confidence. However, as followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to forgive others. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins (Mark 11:25). I am not suggesting you should forget the actions of others, in fact, being aware of past occurrences can help you navigate them better in the future if they happen again. Forgiveness will allow you to continue to shine the light of Jesus at work and draw closer to God.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Staying quiet when you are in conflict is hard! I know I have been guilty of saying too much during a conflict—especially if it is something I am passionate about! Getting wound-up during a conflict is easy. You have a point of view, and you think it is the right point of view. Maybe you have stated your point of view, but it seems like no one is listening. Perhaps you are experiencing a conflict and don't know what to say, or you feel plain defeated in trying to continually do the right things and it doesn't seem to get you anywhere. Are your words empty? The Bible cautions of the words that we use. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words (Matthew 6:7). Are you talking a lot but without a lot of substance? Proverbs 21:35 in the message translation also warns, Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save a lot of grief (Proverbs 21:35). In the heat of a conflict, you can often say things you don't want to say. My greatest encouragement is to tell you to remember it is ultimately God that fights your battles. He even calls us to be silent. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still (Exodus 14:14). Have you ever tried deploying silence and waiting for the Lord to work on your behalf in a conflict? In the world this is counter intuitive. We are told to speak up and to fight for our point of view. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). In this silence and waiting, turn to the Lord in prayer. Those empty words that you may say during a conflict are better used in a silent prayer to God to step in for you. Prayer is powerful. It draws you near to the Lord and helps you increase your trust that he knows the plans he has for you.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Sometimes when we are in the midst of a conflict, we talk about it with others to seek counsel. Seeking counsel from others is not a bad thing. In fact, Proverbs 15:22 tells us that without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed, and in Proverbs 24:6 we learn surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers. Sometimes during a conflict, we seek counsel from people who may tell us what we want to hear instead of what we need to hear. You know that group of friends or colleagues that always seems to share your point of view, the ones that cheer you on and will tell you the other party is just plain wrong. In industrial psychology, we call this group think. Irving Janus, a Yale psychologist defines group think as a mode of thinking that people in a group engage in where striving for unanimity overrides the motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action. Finding people that will agree with us can certainly feel good in the moment, but it can have monumental consequences when it comes to resolving a conflict. In 1 Kings 22 Jehoshaphat sought counsel to discern whether he should go to battle. The prophets that he would typically take counsel from told him to go … for the Lord will give it into the king's hand (1 Kings 22:6). When he asked if there was another prophet that he could inquire of, Micaiah was suggested. Jehoshaphat states, I hate him because he never prophesies anything good about me, but always bad (1 Kings 22:8). In the remaining verses of 1 Kings 22 we learn Jehosaphat goes to battle after not listening to Micaiah, and he lost his life. When you are seeking advice during a conflict, are you listening to wise counsel or are you listening to the voices that always agree with you? And more importantly are you seeking counsel from other believers? Good counsel asks questions; it challenges you and will seek to help you maintain and discern how you can come to a good resolution to a conflict. Good counsel will turn you toward God's Word and to your relationship with Jesus as you look for solutions in whatever situation you are in.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Sometimes the headlines are too much. These days the news is full of conflict, and it seems like this conflict has made its way into work in many ways. Whether it is continued conflict about gender or racial bias, income inequality, views on sustainability or environment or politics, we can count on people at work having differing opinions. And these opinions can bubble over into conflict when we least expect it. In John 16:33 we are reminded by Jesus in this world we will have tribulation. Tribulation is defined as great trouble or suffering. You can see how each of these issues we just mentioned can cause great trouble and suffering. Beyond these macro level issues that we are all aware of, what about the day-to-day conflicts at work? It could be something as simple as a colleague not completing their work in a timely fashion which causes your work to be late, or a boss that requires you to be in the office every day but only comes in once a week. While Jesus promises us all this conflict, he also tells us to take heart because he has overcome the world. Earlier in John 16:33, Jesus also tells us that in him, we will have peace. How can you find the peace of Jesus in these conflict moments? This week we will look at ways we can find the peace that Jesus offers. Perhaps some of your conflicts are self-inflicted. Are you listening to wise counsel? Are you listening and staying silent enough? Maybe you are saying too much, when it is God you should be reliant on. How closely you abide to your peace, Jesus, will be indicative of your greatest success or failure during times of conflict. Remember, Jesus promises us this conflict, but he also offers us the greatest solution in himself! If you are feeling overwhelmed by a macro level conflict in our world today, Jesus isn't calling you to avoid it, he is calling you to rely on him! If you are going through a micro level conflict at work or at home, he isn't calling you to avoid it either, he is calling you to rely on him!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen As a follower of Jesus Christ, I have thought a lot about what God wants me to do with conflict, and I've realized I can only control how I react and engage. I can't control the other person or people with whom I may be in conflict. I have thought about different types of conflict, and while all require personal engagement, there are some in business that boil down to contracts and paperwork and have nothing to do with an interpersonal spat between two people. In both circumstances, God calls us to walk in a manner that reflects our kingdom status as we walk as ambassadors at work and in this world. Conflicts at work can be weighty. They can impact you personally, and they can impact an organization's culture. Conflicts can ruin long-standing relationships and creative divides that close a business for good—especially a family-owned business. But one thing I learned about conflict, especially as a believer in Jesus Christ, is that God uses conflict to prune me. He uses these moments, whether personal or in business, to make me better for his kingdom. John 15:2 states: every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will bear more fruit. Pruning is a verb meant to trim by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth. Pruning is good. Pruning is meant to help you and me do more for the kingdom. Pruning is meant to show us what to do more or less of. Pruning can remove people- it may even remove a job. I was curious about workplace conflict statistics, and I learned that at the high end, statistics state that 85% of employees report conflict at work. A study from the Peaceful Leaders Academy estimates that employees spend an average of 33.3 minutes a day in negative discussions about other colleagues! Even in a small company, let's say 25 people, this results in 13.875 hours of time spent in potential conflict! Of employees who report conflict, 57% of them have seen this escalate to the level of physical altercation! A recent Harvard Business Review article reports that most conflicts at work are caused by differing perspectives or different personalities. I have learned that you can't manage what you can't measure, and apparently measuring conflict is important! We cannot avoid conflict, but we can strive for peace with others. What does this peacemaking look like and how do we do it? As we look at resolving conflict through our biblical lens, is it possible that others can align with us if they don't believe what we do? The answer is mostly yes, and sometimes, no. However, if we are honest, even conflict with other believers can go unresolved. The answer is still sometimes yes and sometimes no. Matthew 5:9 tells us: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.” One of my all-time favorite books is The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. I have had this book since 2007 on my shelf and find that I have referenced it many times over the years to describe the good and bad of handling conflict. Sande's visual of what he calls the slippery slope of conflict outlines what he calls peace-making, peace-faking and peace-breaking. Of course, the goal is to be in peace-making mode, but what about the other end of this spectrum? Peace-faking is described as an escape response to conflict with the ultimate response of suicide. Peace-breaking is described as an attack response to conflict with the ultimate end of murder. I just mentioned that 57% of employees have seen a conflict escalating to a physical altercation; let's think about this as peace-breaking. Obviously, this is an attack response and is on the slippery slope to something even worse. What are the roots of most conflicts? I just mentioned the Harvard Business Review which said that differing perspectives and differing personalities cause most conflict, but it is much more specific than this.

God sent Moses to confront Pharaoh several times, to try to resolve their impasse in a way that would be best for both. Moses told Pharaoh, “Let my people go,” but Pharaoh refused to take the advice, and he paid a big price for it. As we've talked about constructive confrontation, I've encouraged you not to avoid confrontation when it is the right thing to do. But we also have to be aware that even constructive confrontation doesn't always work, because we do not have control over how the other person will react. It's important to remember even when we do the right thing in the right way, the confrontation may not have an immediate good result. The other person must ultimately choose how he or she will respond, and sometimes it doesn't work out the way we had hoped. That doesn't mean we failed. Jesus was often rejected by those he confronted with the truth, and he allowed people to walk away. Even when you believe you know what is best for other people, ultimately, you must be reconciled to the fact that they make their own choices. In some situations, you may have the power or the authority to execute an ultimatum if the other person refuses to conform. For example, if you confront an employee about their poor work habits and they refuse to change, they may indeed face the consequence of losing their job. But before you present the ultimatum to that person, try to achieve the desired result—changing that person's poor work habits in a more conciliatory manner. It may work, and you won't need to issue the ultimatum. In other situations, you may be powerless to enforce the change you are trying to achieve. Then, depending on the relationship, you must be prepared to live with it without allowing it to ruin your life, or you have to make changes if you are not prepared to live with it. I want to encourage you to get past your fear and resistance to confrontation and learn how to confront when it is right to do. It is good to speak the truth in love even if it is painful.

What is the best way to confront a person? When you are ready to confront, you need to open the conversation in a way that avoids sounding like finger-pointing. Think about it: Whenever someone approaches you in a finger-pointing mode, you most likely become defensive. If you begin the conversation with something that sounds like “you're wrong and I'm right,” you won't get to first base. Remember, we are aiming at constructive confrontation, an outcome that will be beneficial to everyone. We need to choose words carefully, words that don't create a defensive reaction, if possible. Here are some examples of opening words that could get the conversation off in the right direction: “I wanted to talk with you personally because I believe between the two of us, we can find an appropriate solution to this issue that will help both of us in the end.” “I believe when there's any kind of conflict between two people, the best way to resolve it is to bring it out in the open and discuss it. So, I decided it might be a good idea for us to talk about this issue, because I need to know how you feel about it.” “After some thought I decided the best thing I can do is express openly to you how I feel about this and give you an opportunity to express your feelings as well.” It is very smart to compose these opening words ahead of time. Recently a good friend told me of her need to confront her father, and she was very fearful of doing it. But it was necessary. I suggested she write it out so that when she talked with him, her nervousness wouldn't cause her to stumble with her words and say it the wrong way. She did just that, wrote a couple of paragraphs before dialing his number, and then did what was difficult but necessary to do. She reported the confrontation went well, though she is not sure if he will take her advice. But at least she was able to get it said in the right way, and he listened.

Confrontation can be very constructive and helpful when it is done for the right reason, at the right time, and in the right way. Yesterday, I talked about searching our hearts to make certain our motives are pure. Always pray in advance so you don't confront out of anger or selfishness. Confronting at the right time is very important. Let's say you need to confront someone on your job because their poor work habits are affecting others, and it's affecting the quality of the work effort of your organization. You know this situation needs to be confronted. Pick the right time and place. Never confront when others are present. It should always be a one-on-one encounter. Embarrassing or humiliating someone is sure to backfire on you, so choose a place that is private and conducive to a confidential conversation. Consider an off-site location. That often works best in business confrontations. Consider confronting over a meal. It seems to break down some barriers when we share a meal with someone. But again, it needs to be in a private setting. Timing needs to be carefully considered. Make sure you time your confrontation when you are in control of your own emotions. It's not a bad idea to follow the “sleep on it” rule of thumb before confronting. Also time it when you have carefully considered what you will say. Consider timing as it relates to the other person as well. If you know this is the busiest week of the month for that person, you might be well advised to wait until next week. Or if you are aware that this person has recently experienced a personal problem or a health issue, take those things into consideration. Someone who is already struggling with another issue likely will not handle one more thing very well. Wise Solomon wrote: a prudent man gives thought to his steps (Proverbs 14:15) and a patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29). Patience and prudence are very important as we think about confronting someone.

Constructive confrontation—does that sound like an oxymoron to you? I want to assure you confrontation can indeed be very constructive when it is done for the right reasons, at the right time, and in the right way. Remember when the children of Israel were held captive as slaves in Egypt? God told Moses, “Get up early in the morning and confront Pharaoh…and say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me'” (Exodus 8:20). Moses was sent on a mission of confrontation by the Lord. Unfortunately, Pharaoh chose not to heed Moses' warning, and he suffered immense harm and eventual death as a result. But God kept sending Moses to confront Pharaoh so these disasters could be avoided. That was the purpose of the confrontations; it was a very constructive and appropriate action to take. Can you think of a person or a situation in your life right now that needs some constructive confrontation? How can you tell if it is constructive or not? Consider these questions: If the confrontation were successfully completed, would the confronted person benefit from it? Does this situation/person really require confrontation, or do you need an attitude change or more patience? Is your desire to confront imbedded in a desire to get even, or is it wrapped up in anger and vengeance? What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God (James 4:1-2). Anytime the turmoil inside us is simply our own selfish unfulfilled desires or covetousness or anger, obviously we are the one who needs confronting and changing, first and foremost. As you think about the person or situation in your life that needs confrontation, search your heart in prayer before the Lord, read this passage from James 4, and make certain your motives are in line with God's Word. Otherwise, you will be confronting in the power of the flesh for the wrong reasons, and I can assure you that will fail miserably.

If we took a survey of the things we don't like to do, confrontation would come out somewhere near the top. Whether on the job or in our personal lives, most of us struggle with how and when to confront someone. It is not a pleasant experience, and therefore, we often avoid or postpone it. Confrontation can be one of the most constructive things we can do when it is done at the right time, for the right reason, in the right way. Let's talk about what happens when we avoid confrontation. Suppose you and I worked together, and you were doing something that caused me difficulty in some way or another—you were doing something wrong. But instead of bringing it out in the open with you and trying to find a solution, I just let it boil up inside me until what was a small issue became a major stumbling block in my mind. Now in this hypothetical situation, instead of addressing the issue in a constructive way, I go into gossip and complaining mode about you. I tell another coworker what I don't like about you. This other person is influenced by what I've told her about you, so now, instead of solving the problem, I've spread the problem further because I've infected someone else with my gossip. You can see how this could continue to spiral throughout the organization, until we have a major conflict involving not just two people, but several others as well. Has the problem been solved? No, not at all, because the one person who needs to be confronted is the object of gossip and backbiting, and she may not even realize her behavior has caused a problem. Suppose instead I decided to confront you, and I did it in such a way that there was a possibility you might handle it well. And suppose indeed you do handle it well. Now, you are in a position to correct whatever it is that is causing a problem—or to correct my perception—and you and I have an improved relationship. Nobody else needs to ever know anything about it. By constructive confrontation, we've eliminated tons of unnecessary stress and avoided all kinds of unpleasant encounters. Good idea? I think so.

As our story unfolded in part one, Louise, Fran's Christian coworker, is asked to approve an expense account of a senior account rep in her group—Jerry—and Louise knows he has included meals that were not with clients but were with his girlfriend. Louise talks with Fran about this dilemma, and Fran invites her over in the evening for prayer and a search of Scripture so Louise will know what to do. That's where our story left off. Just as Fran gets her children ready for bed, the doorbell rings, and Louise arrives. "Whew," Fran says to Louise, "as much as I love them, it's always nice to have the peace and quiet that comes once they're in bed." "But they're so nice, Fran," Louise says. "They really are nice." "Thanks, Louise," Fran replies. "Well, have you given the problem any more thought?" Louise asks. "Off and on all afternoon," Fran says. "I couldn't come up with a specific verse which I thought gave a specific answer, could you?" "Well, not exactly," Louise says. "But I know it would be wrong for me to approve the report, since I know Jerry is cheating. That much I know." "Right, I agree," Fran says. "So now we just have to consider your other options." "Let's start with prayer," Louise suggests, and they spend considerable time praying together. Both pray for wisdom from above, and Louise again confirms to the Lord that she is willing to do his will no matter what the cost will be to her. Fran prays their minds will be renewed by God's Spirit so they won't think incorrectly, and they will know God's good and perfect will. "Louise," Fran says, "I suggest we start by listing all the options you have." "Good idea," Louise agrees, and they get a pad to write on. After some discussion, they come up with only two options: Turn in the report without Louise's approval on it and see what happens. Return the report to Jerry and ask him to complete it and turn it in himself. No longer is any consideration given to approving the report as it is, or lying in any way. They both agree that is not a biblical option. "Let's think about what will happen in each case," Fran suggests. So, she and Louise write down everything they can think of. Option 1, they decide, is simply postponing the inevitable. The report would come back to Louise for completion, and she'd still be faced with the dilemma. Option 2 would mean a direct confrontation with Jerry and would undoubtedly cause him to be very upset with Louise. And Louise is fearful of retribution on his part. After all, Jerry's been around a long time and has some pull in the company. "You know," Louise says, "it's not like Jerry would even miss the $87, Fran. He makes plenty of money. You'd think I was talking about $87,000, the way he acts about this." "Remember Louise," Fran responds, "money makes people do crazy things—even small amounts of money. That's why Jesus said you can't serve God and Money, with a capital M. It has power over people to cause them to do all kinds of dishonest things, and often totally out of proportion to the amount." "You know, you're right," Louise says. "I remember last week I was filling out an expense account for myself and I was really tempted to put down a meal I didn't have to pay for. I had to force myself not to do it, because I wanted to pick up $15." "Oh, it's happened to me many times," Fran says, "and I haven't always done the right thing." "I guess I can't be too hard on poor Jerry," Louise says. "After all, if it weren't for Jesus, I'm sure I'd do the same thing. And even with Jesus, I'm tempted to cheat for a few measly dollars." "Yeah, you're right," Fran agrees. "You know, Louise, we didn't pray for Jerry. We should." And with that, they stop where they are to pray for Jerry, for his salvation, for his family, for Gail, his girlfriend, and for a change of heart to be willing to do the right thing. "I hadn't thought about praying for him," Louise says as they finish.

Let's discuss is the vindictive, malicious, even vicious coworkers who are openly trying to cause you problems and do you harm. The first thing you need to understand is these people are in a world of hurt! They won't admit it, but you can be certain they are miserable. It could be their hostile behavior is caused by the light and salt that emanates from you. You know, Jesus told us men love darkness, and if our lights are shining as they should, we will discover some people not only run from it, they fight it. Have you really stopped to think about what Peter is telling us when said: To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:21). The only way you can learn to accept unjust suffering is to constantly remind yourself that by doing so, you have an opportunity to share in Jesus' suffering, which gives you the great privilege of learning to follow in his steps. Think about it: When you are going through tough waters, you feel very close to someone who's been there before you. When you have an opportunity to taste the kind of suffering Jesus drank fully for us, then you know him better. And that in turn brings his resurrection power into our lives. We've been talking about difficult coworkers, as though the problem is always with the other person and never with us Christians. How I wish that were true, but I know better because I know me! It would do us all good to take a close look and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us if we're guilty of any of these difficult characteristics in our relationships with our coworkers. Peter wrote our lives should be above reproach so when others try to find something bad to say about us, they have to manufacture it! I am reminded of what Jesus said to his disciples when they were having difficulty getting along with each other: If you want to be first in my kingdom, you have to be a servant (Matthew 20:26). A servant heart is the sum total of what we've been saying here. As difficult as that is at times, it's much easier than doing it our way. And the benefits we reap are eternal ones. Let's go for it.

Let me ask you, have you ever had to deal with a condescending and arrogant coworker? They talk down to you; they know everything; they're unteachable; they're always right. They're not very easy to endure! I have a friend who worked in a bank, and she was having trouble getting along with an arrogant-type coworker. After prayer and consideration, she started "Project Love," her name for a planned program on her part to bridge the gap between her and her coworker. First, she invited her to have lunch with her. The coworker was a little surprised, but she accepted. Through this, they got to know each other, and my friend discovered underneath the arrogant attitude was a very insecure, fearful person with many personal problems. Now they've become friends, and this woman has frequently turned to my friend for counsel and help. Thankfully my friend was willing to submerge her own normal resentment toward this arrogant, prejudicial coworker and extend herself to make a bridge. Jesus taught us to love our enemies, and this is an example of how we put that principle into practice. It's helpful to remember we don't have to like others to love them. Loving them means acting toward them in considerate and loving ways, even though you may not feel it. Dealing with a domineering coworker Have you ever worked with someone who tried to manage everyone, including their manager? They're always telling you what to do, and everything in you wants to say, "Hey, you're not the boss around here!” Jesus told us to humble ourselves, and that's an important lesson for us to learn. Did you ever think we could use these relationships with domineering people to help us learn humility? It is humbling to keep your mouth shut and not bark back. It is even more humbling to take their direction! There may be times when that's the right thing for us to do. God is interested in developing Christ-like characteristics in us, and sometimes he uses unfair and uncomfortable circumstances for that purpose. Learning humility is how we become more and more transformed into the likeness of Jesus. If God has you in humility school right now, trust him to bring you through, and while you're there, learn your lessons well. Don't rebel and get bitter. Use it as a tool for righteousness. God is so good at doing that for us. Remember, if a confrontation is called for, our motives have to be carefully examined to make certain we're confronting for the other person's good, not just to vent our frustration.

Have you ever had a problem getting along with someone you work with? Most of us have, and it surely can cause a lot of grief, can't it? I can tell you Christians certainly are not immune to these interpersonal conflicts. We need some biblical principles to guide us. Let's consider the problems that arise when we deal with a negative coworker. Dealing with a negative coworker Our worlds are full of negative thinking and talking people. It seems they have nothing good or encouraging to say about anything or anyone. If you've ever had to work closely with a very negative individual (and who hasn't!), you know just how tough it is to be around that person. This is one of those times when you need lots of compassion, because compassion lengthens your tolerance and helps you think about where the other person is coming from and what's causing them to be so negative. I think without Christ, I'd be negative in this world most of the time. There are a couple of proverbs which apply here. A cheerful look brings joy to the heart (Proverbs 15:30). One way to fight the irritation is to keep your own spirits up, and a smile on your face will help do that. Have you learned the secret of smiling? I know when I'm feeling down, frustrated, or irritated, if I can make myself smile, it starts to change the way I feel. I think God gave us the ability to smile to keep us going in the middle of tough situations. I encourage you to try smiling a lot more. An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up (Proverbs 12:25). Some kind words spoken to that negative person might be the key to getting him or her to open up and share their real feelings with you, and in so doing, you may discover their negative attitude is a cover-up for fear or anxiety. If they can share that with you, it gives you an opportunity to be of help to them. It doesn't always work that way, but it's worth a try. Give them some kind words, in spite of their negativism. One warning here. Be careful you don't allow them to bring you down to their negative levels. Fight back by humming choruses to yourself. Quote Scripture to yourself. Change the conversation to something positive. Often, we allow negative people to set the tone and drag everybody else down with them. Guard your own mind against the onslaught of negativism.

I wonder how many of you are in a work environment where there is conflict among coworkers, perhaps even a personal conflict you are facing. It happens quite frequently, and as Christians, we need to be aware of biblical principles in dealing with these difficult coworkers. Yesterday we were talking about the lazy coworker, who doesn't do his or her share of the work. We pointed out one principle to consider is the extra-mile principle given in Matthew 5. I can hear some of you saying, "What? Are Christians supposed to be doormats? I don't buy that.” What I find myself and other Christians doing so often is rationalizing and watering down God's principles based on our own reasoning processes and the influence of this world's thinking on us. We think Jesus taught us to go the extra mile and love our enemies and all that, but he wasn't referring to this type of situation. And we begin to pick and choose our beliefs from Scripture. You know, I've decided if I'm going to make an error in applying God's Word, I'd like to err in favor of going too far rather than not doing enough, for a change. Now, let me assure you I don't think it's right for people to be lazy. But how other people act and react shouldn't change our commitment to God's principles. Matthew 5 gives principles for dealing with people who are doing the wrong thing; people who are against us, people who cause us problems and difficulties. I'm not saying we should do the lazy person's work forever, and never say anything. There are times when an open confrontation with the lazy coworker and/or with management is appropriate. Jesus confronted people frequently, but never to vent his own frustrations. He always confronted for their good and benefit, and I think that has to be our guiding principle in determining who and when to confront. What we must guard against is this build-up of bitterness, which can quickly happen when we're dealing with lazy coworkers. We can't blame bitterness on others. It's our responsibility to keep a root of bitterness from growing within us.

We typically spend eight hours a day on our jobs—with coworkers and peers whom we might never voluntarily choose to spend one-third of our waking hours each week. But there we are—together! And even though we're Christians, we're not immune to the irritations, aggravations, and outright conflicts that can exist between coworkers. Let's face it: coworkers can get to you! However, these relationships give us opportunities as Christians to demonstrate the power of Christ, to show that his presence makes a real difference in our everyday lives. Some close friends were at my home and several of them were sharing the struggles they are facing on their jobs with coworkers. But in each case, as they shared how God had helped them get along with those coworkers, they told of dying to their own rights and then watching God work miracles in those situations. And in each instance, their ability to deal in a Christ-like way with a difficult coworker has opened a door of witness on their jobs. In many of those situations, the coworker has not yet changed, and their behavior is extremely difficult. But even when they don't change, God can change us, so we are equipped to handle it properly. Often God just gives us grace to cope, grace to endure, grace to accept, even though the other person never changes. But isn't that just as great a miracle as changing the other person? I think so. Let's look at one type of difficulty we encounter with coworkers. Dealing with the lazy coworker Sometimes we have to work with a person who is lazy, and if we have to pick up his or her slack, we may find ourselves becoming bitter and resentful. And of course, that would show in sarcastic words, angry looks, body language, etc. In these situations, we need to know whether to confront the situation; to let the work go undone; to go to management; or to do the work for a while. One principle to consider is we are called to have an extra-mile attitude in our relationships with others. Read Matthew 5 beginning at verse 38 to refresh your memory on how Jesus taught us to go the extra-mile. Of course, this is not the world's solution, and it goes against all our natural reactions. But God may have good reasons for us to go the extra mile and be willing to do what we don't have to do.

I want to emphasize that the purpose of these stories is to help us remember that Jesus is with us all day every day on the job, and he wants to give us comfort, help, guidance, and strength. We must learn to practice his presence. Fran has some conversations with Jesus, which are obviously imaginary but based on Scripture. After all, that's how Jesus speaks to us—through his Word and his Spirit. So, with that, let's begin our story. "Fran, you got time for lunch today?" Louise asks as she pokes her head around Fran's door. Louise and Fran have become good friends, and it's great to have a fellow believer on the job to talk to. They meet for lunch once a week to pray for the company and for the people they work with. It has been a wonderful time of fellowship, and they've seen lots of answers to prayer. But this is not their prayer day, so Fran asks, "Something wrong?" "Well, kinda," Louise replies. "I just need some advice, but I know how busy you are so..." "No, let's do it," Fran answers. And with that they head to the cafeteria. Sitting down in a quiet corner, Fran says to Louise, "You look worried. I have a feeling something is bothering you." "Yeah, you're right," Louise agrees. After asking God's blessing on the food, Louise says, "Fran, you know how Marilyn made such a point in the staff meeting last week about our expense accounts and what's allowed and what isn't, especially as it relates to meals." "Yeah," Fran replies. "She told me that some people have really taken advantage of that policy." "Well," Louise says, lowering her voice, "I'm supposed to approve all expense accounts for those in my group before they go to Marilyn, and she made it clear we're supposed to make certain all the charges are in compliance with company policy. That's what I'm upset about. Jerry is—well—he's lying about his expenses, charging meals to the company that are not business related, and today we had some words about it.” Jerry is the senior account manager in Louise's group. "What kind of words?" Fran asks. "He turned in his expenses with receipts for meals that were not with clients," Louise explains. "So, I gave them back to him with a note about the meals policy, and he calls me in his office, shuts the door and says, 'Since when are you telling me what meals I can charge and what I can't?'" Louise lowers her voice further. "I told him these were the new instructions I had received from Marilyn and that it was my responsibility to make sure all charges were accurate. Then he said, 'Well, I've been working for this company for twelve years, and I won't have someone checking my expense accounts.'” Louise looks at Fran and shakes her head. "What did you say?" Fran asks. "I said something like 'Jerry, I'm just following instructions. Marilyn told us to be responsible for these expenses and make sure they're right. What do you want me to tell her?'" Louise takes a deep breath. "He threw the report at me and said, 'You just note those meals are client meals.'  Then he gave me names of two clients to put on the report, but I knew it wasn't true. So, I said, 'Gee, Jerry, I think you must be mistaken.'  And I reminded him they weren't client meals. He stared at me with a look that could kill, and said, 'You're supposed to do as I direct you to do, so just do it, Louise. Don't make a big deal out of it.'" "Oh, great," Fran says to Louise, "he really put you in a tough spot. What happened then?" "Fran, I'm ashamed to tell you, but I didn't have the guts to stand up to him. He is so intimidating," Louise replies. "So, I just took the report and walked out." Louise is obviously very upset with herself. "Fran, I didn't do the right thing. You know, I just kept thinking about how much I need this job, and I know Jerry. He is politically connected, and I would never win in a fight against him.” Louise puts her fork down and pushes back from the table, very agitated. "Louise,

I was asked a very interesting question by a woman who had come to hear me speak. She said to me, "Are you a liberated woman?” That question caused me to stop and ask: "What is a liberated woman?” Women's liberation became a much-used term during the last two or three decades, and on this day as we celebrate the freedom we have in our country, it's a good idea to ask that question again: What is a liberated woman? For some women, to be liberated means they are free from the control of men, or from the traditional roles that women have been confined to in the past. There are some women who would say a liberated woman is one who is free from the sexual restraints of the past and has sexual freedom. Often liberated women are defined by their status: how far up the ladder they have climbed; how much money they make; how much power they have, assuming the higher you climb, the more you make and the more power you have, the freer you are. What does that term mean to you: a liberated woman? Are you one? Do you know any? How do you recognize one when you see her? Let me begin by saying I consider myself a very liberated woman! Indeed I do! I'm liberated, set free, because I've been set free by Jesus Christ. Feminism does not offer me that freedom, no organization can offer me that. No job can offer me that. No amount of money or power can give me freedom. No other person can liberate me. But Jesus has set me free. I can certainly understand the desire and passion for freedom and liberation that women feel. Everybody wants to be free. And throughout world history we've seen incredible struggles for freedom from slavery, freedom from aggression, freedom from abuse, freedom from discrimination. All of those struggles are understandable and legitimate. I appreciate the freedom women now have to pursue any career for which they are qualified. It wasn't long ago that many of those opportunities were either denied to women or made extremely difficult. But my friends, as one who has pioneered some new paths for women, let me tell you that you won't find true, lasting liberation in a career, no matter how good it may be, nor in new role definitions or worldly success or status or money or power. Freedom is found only in Jesus. That is not a trite cliché'; it is truth. That's the freedom to celebrate—the freedom that comes in knowing your sins are forgiven and eternity with Christ is sure. I'm a liberated woman! I hope you know the same freedom only Christ can give.

Often what we need to do is re-learn something we've already learned! As I start to prepare the programs, I think, "I don't have anything new to say.” And I start to panic because I haven't got a new idea or a new topic to present. But God reminds me repetition is the way we learn. Do you, like me, have to learn and re-learn and re-learn the lessons God wants to teach you? I'm amazed at the patience of our Lord, as I see how slow I am to truly learn and obey all I know. God will work on one area of my life, and I'll think I've made some progress. Then I look back a few weeks or months later and realize I need to learn again what God has already taught me. How easily I forget; how easily I go back into old habits and wrong ways of thinking. What I'm learning from all this is I must be prepared to re-learn many times the things I've already learned. I must go back and repeat because repetition is absolutely essential for me. I think of the verse to the old hymn which says, "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; prone to leave the Lord I love.” Truly "prone to wander" is a good description of me. How about you? Let me encourage you, if you find yourself in this same dilemma, learn to re-learn. Go back and listen again to what God has already taught you. Do a lot of review. If there were books which spoke to your heart, read them again. If you've heard messages that made an impact on you, listen again and again. Repeat and repeat what you already know. That's another good reason to keep a journal of the things God is saying to you and what you've been learning from the Bible, so you can go back and re-read those things which you'll otherwise forget. It's a good way to re-learn. Plan to be a re-learner, so that you're not so prone to wander from the good and basic lessons God has already taught you.

There is a story in Joshua 9, which is very relevant to us today. Joshua and his people were doing very well, and all the neighboring countries were frightened of them because of their victories and the power they had from the Lord. One of their neighbors, the Gibeonites, decided to trick Joshua into a peace treaty. They made themselves look tired and dirty, like they had traveled a long way, and came to Joshua asking for a treaty. Verses 14 and 15 tell us: The Israelites sampled their provisions but did not inquire of the Lord. Then Joshua made a treaty of peace with them to let them live, and the leaders of the assembly ratified it by oath (Joshua 9:14-15). Here was a business transaction facing the Israelites. A group of people made them an offer. The men of Israel looked at the outward evidence, decided it looked like a good deal to them, and signed the bottom line. They found out later they had been deceived. The facts were not as they appeared to be, and they had made a strategic mistake. Why? Because they trusted in their eyes and their minds, and did not inquire of the Lord. There are times we don't think we need to consult the Lord; it's just a cut and dried situation in our view. We make decisions in our own strength, based on our human reasoning. And that gets us in trouble. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). Do you remember when Jesus told Peter to go fishing? Peter's own understanding of fishing told him there were no fish there, since he had fished all night and caught nothing. Besides, it was the wrong time and place to fish. But because Jesus told him to, Peter went fishing and caught more fish than ever before. Peter had to learn, as do we, you can't just depend on your own understanding. Leaning on our own understanding is the norm especially in the business world. But, as Christians, we should take all our decisions to the Lord and ask for his wisdom. Sometimes our own understanding is very shortsighted and incomplete. We need the eternal wisdom of our Savior; we need to inquire of the Lord. Remember to inquire of the Lord in any decision you face. Don't lean solely on your own understanding. That can get you in trouble.

You know, everybody needs encouragement and help at times. As I read 2 Corinthians 7, I realized even the great Apostle Paul had difficult times when he needed other people. He said in verse 5: For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within (2 Corinthians 7:5). Doesn't that describe the way you feel at times? Conflicts without, fears within? But this is the spiritual giant, Paul, and it surprises us to realize he would have these same feelings. We really need to remember that positions of prominence do not isolate anyone from being human. Paul was tired and fearful. He needed help. Where did his help come from? He goes on to say, but God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus (2 Corinthians 7:6). He needed a friend at his side to comfort him, and so Titus came along. We could say to Paul, "But wasn't it enough to have the Lord there?” And Paul would respond, "The Lord was there in the person of Titus. He comforted me by sending Titus." That's how the Body of Christ should function. God wants to use us in each other's lives as messengers of comfort and encouragement, to pick up each other at those weary and frightened moments of our lives. God has given us each other for that purpose. Paul goes on to say he was comforted by the good report Titus brought to him of the concern for his welfare by his friends in Corinth. Paul needed to know they cared, they hadn't forgotten him, they still loved him. How often do we miss these opportunities to be God's comfort in the lives of others? How often do we need to be by a friend's side when they're experiencing dark days? Or send a message to them—by email or snail mail or on the phone—just to say, I care. Hallmark Cards has coined the phrase, "When you care enough to send the very best.” When we as Christians care enough about each other, we can send our very best, which is the comfort of God pouring through us to those who need it. Is there someone in your life today who needs a Titus? Ask God to show you and allow him to use you as his agent of comfort and encouragement.

Have you read the verse which says, "Be kind to everyone who is kind to you. Be kind to the people you like. Be kind when you want to impress someone, or when there's something in it for you"? No, you haven't seen that verse in Scripture, but Paul wrote to Timothy the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone (2 Timothy 2:24). I once witnessed a situation in which a Christian sister was obviously unkind to a person simply because she didn't like that kind of person. Based on her prejudices and some bad experiences she had, she had classified a group of people as undesirable. So, she was obviously unkind to this person, and it was hurtful and harmful. Another person with whom she is sympathetic came in, and she was very kind and caring to her. I watched that interaction and my heart hurt to see a Christian treat someone unkindly. Then I realized I probably do similar things all too often. I mean, it's easy to be kind to people who seem to deserve our kindness. But the Bible says we are to be kind to everyone. That includes strangers, people who irritate us, people who are not kind to us—everyone includes everyone! Once I was unkind to a clerk at a hotel who was not very efficient at her job. Her lack of efficiency inconvenienced me just a bit, and though I didn't say anything, I'm sure the look on my face and my body language was most unkind. How easy it would have been for me to say something kind to her, to make her feel a little more comfortable, to forget my minor inconvenience and try to help her a bit. The Holy Spirit convicted my heart as I walked away, reminding me the Lord's servant must be kind to everyone—even people who don't do their jobs as well as they should. Praise the Lord we don't have to do this in ourselves, because we'd never make it. The Holy Spirit within us is there to give us the power to be kind to everyone. I'm praying specifically now that God will help me be kind to strangers, for that seems to be an area where I often fail. Where do you often fail to be kind? Shore that area up with prayer, and ask God to help you be kind, as the servant of the Lord should be, to everyone.

I have to admit, I am not a graceful person. In my first Christmas break of college, my mother lined up private lessons with a woman who coached me on how to be graceful. Now, for my mother to spend money on such lessons was an indication of how much help I needed! I was not then—and still am not to this day—graceful. But I'm happy to report that though I may never be graceful, I can be grace-full—full of grace. That is not contingent on my agility or nimbleness or any physical attributes. It is, instead, contingent on my openness to the grace of God and my willingness to let it fill my life. In writing of our Savior, John says, The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Jesus was and still is full of grace. As believers in Jesus Christ, you and I are in the process of being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory. We are to be filled with his Spirit, and therefore, we have the incredible opportunity to be filled with grace. Like Jesus, we can be full of grace. When asked what the one thing that sets apart Christianity from all other religions, C. S. Lewis responded, “Oh, that's easy. It's grace.”  No other religion offers God's love and redemption coming to us free of charge, as a gift, no strings attached, no performance required, no standards to meet. Only Christianity dares to make God's love unconditional. That's because Christianity has the only qualified Savior, Jesus Christ. I want to encourage you to become very intentional about being a woman—or a man—who is grace-full; full of God's grace. It must become more than a cliché, more than words we say or songs we sing. God's grace needs to permeate every corner of our being so we are living examples of his grace. And then, when we are full of God's grace, we can become grace dispensers. The song, “Amazing Grace,” is sung all over the world by people who have no understanding of its message of salvation through Jesus. But the idea of grace appeals to everyone. But what does it mean for you and me in our world today to live grace-full lives? What does that look like? I'd like to give you the ABCs of grace-full living. Here is “A”: A- Abundant Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10b).  Jesus wasn't talking about being full of money, earthly success, or freedom from problems. He was talking about a life that is grace-full! In 2 Corinthians 9:8 we read: And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. When the grace of God fills us, then it must flow out to others in the form of good works. What good works? The good works you were created to do. Ephesians 2:10 says, We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Here are a few examples of how we dispense grace to others: Someone is sick; you minister to their needs. Someone is rejoicing over good news; you rejoice with them. Someone has a broken heart. You cry with them, listen to them, sit with them, and console them. Someone is wandering away from God. You confront them in love, admonish them, and help them to come back into fellowship. Someone is lost in sin, without Christ. You share the gospel in every way you can, lovingly planting seeds of truth in her life. Someone needs financial help. You give out of love and concern. You teach the Word of God in a small group; you organize prayer for your company; you begin a Bible study at work or at home; you invite others to hear the Word of God. These are just a few ways we become grace dispensers to others, abounding in good works. I can testify to you from personal experience that the abundant life Jesus promised us comes in knowing God is using you in the lives of...

Presented by Julie Busteed We've explored what it means to practice hospitality in everyday life, but how does that translate to our jobs? Today, there's an entire hospitality industry—hotels, restaurants, travel, and event services. You can even earn a degree in hospitality management! For those working in that field, hospitality is built into the job: welcoming strangers, serving with kindness, offering guidance, and meeting the practical needs of guests. But even if you don't work in that industry, the call to hospitality still applies. In the workplace, it might look like showing patience and grace to coworkers and clients, offering help when someone is overwhelmed, or simply pausing your own agenda to listen. It's that same outward focus—seeing others and responding with care. The greatest example of hospitality is Jesus himself. He consistently met people's practical needs with compassion and love. In Mark 8, he responds to a hungry crowd. “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. If I send them home hungry, they will collapse on the way, because some of them have come a long distance” (Mark 8:2-3). Jesus saw their need—and he acted. He miraculously provided food when none was available. In Mark 1, a man with leprosy begs Jesus for healing. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. ‘I am willing,' he said. ‘Be healed!' Instantly the leprosy disappeared, and the man was healed (Mark 1:41-42 NLT). Jesus saw the unseen people. He touched the untouchable, welcomed the outcasts, and made space for the overlooked—women, children, lepers, Gentiles, and sinners. Then of course when Jesus washed his disciples' feet at the last supper he beautifully demonstrated how to practice hospitality—to show God's love in practical ways and serve them—all for his glory. Hospitality isn't all about entertaining. It's about seeing others and serving them with love. Whether it's a kind word, a helping hand, or a listening ear, it's all for God's glory. I hope you're encouraged to practice hospitality wherever you are—including your workplace. Because when we serve others, we reflect the heart of Christ.

Presented by Julie Busteed Have you ever caught yourself grumbling about serving others? The Apostle Peter addresses this issue in 1 Peter 4:9-11. “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen (1 Peter 4:9-11). Did you catch that? You and I are called to offer hospitality without grumbling! That means showing God's love by serving others with the gifts he's given us—and doing so without complaining. Peter gives examples of how to serve others using our God-given gifts. Whether it's through speaking truthfully from God's Word or helping one another with all our strength. Everything you and I have is from him, and we are called to use it for his purposes. Hospitality can take many forms: Listening with care Sending an encouraging message Reaching out to someone who's struggling Praying with or for someone Helping with a task or technology Running errands or grocery shopping Visiting someone who is homebound Peter emphasizes we're not to complain about this kind of service. Why? So that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. When we serve others with a willing heart, we reflect Christ and bring glory to God. Offering hospitality can be inconvenient, expensive, even aggravating at times. But you and I are called to pursue this with a good attitude. It pleases God and is a witness to how Christians are meant to love and care for one another.

Presented by Julie Busteed Have you ever been described as a “Martha?” When I say “Martha,” I'm referring to the account of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 which says: As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:38-42). Can you relate to Martha? I certainly can. I often find myself caught up in the preparations—focused on the details, planning, organizing—because I genuinely enjoy it. But sometimes like Martha, I get so consumed by all the things that serving becomes a burden rather than a joy. Jesus gently reminded Martha—and me—that “few things are needed and indeed only one!” I need that reminder: to keep my focus on my guests, to be present, listen, and offer encouragement. Hospitality should be outward-focused. It's not that preparation is wrong. It's good and necessary—but it shouldn't take center stage. The priority is the guest, not the checklist. It seems to me that Martha truly wanted to give her best. She opened her home and gave of herself and time, but she became frustrated when her sister Mary had a different priority. Interestingly in John's gospel we see a later moment in Mary's life. After Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, she and her siblings hosted Jesus and his disciples again: Here a dinner was given in Jesus' honor. Martha served (John 12:2a). Martha is still serving, still practicing hospitality, but it seems to me she's not distracted. Her priorities have changed. That's my prayer for me and you. That we would continue to practice hospitality—showing God's love through our service, without letting the details overshadow the purpose.

Presented by Julie Busteed We are looking at what it means to practice hospitality as the Apostle Paul encourages us to do in Romans 12. Certainly, part of this is entertaining guests—and usually that's a planned event. But what about the unexpected guests? In Genesis we read about the patriarch Abraham and the three “visitors.” You can read the entire story in Genesis 18, but let me give you the highlights: The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant (Genesis 18:1-5). The story goes on to describe how he and Sarah quickly prepare meat and bread—the finest things they had on hand—and serve their three unexpected guests. They used what they had on hand. This is a great reminder that according to the Bible, being hospitable isn't about being perfect and having everything in place. It's more about being open and welcoming and offering to share what I have and focus on the relationship more than the presentation. Abraham saw his visitors' needs and met them. Their feet needed washing from the journey. They needed to escape the heat of the day in a shady place. He was eager to show hospitality and acted on it. My guess is they were not planning to host any visitors that day. But Abraham saw these visitors and was quick to greet them and invite them to stay and be refreshed. It may not have been convenient for him. There was a sacrifice of time and resources. Yet, he was welcoming and generous. What an example this is to you and me. Hospitality is not about having the perfectly clean house or a meal that's been planned and prepared in advance. It's opening our homes to welcome those in need. It's setting aside our agendas, seeing others, and reaching out.

Presented by Julie Busteed What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word hospitality? Do you picture having friends over for dinner or hosting overnight guests? We are looking at what it means to show hospitality from a biblical perspective. When I have guests over it usually involves a lot of planning and preparation ahead of time. I'm thinking about menus, making lists, going grocery shopping, planning activities, cleaning the house—all to make guests feel comfortable and welcome. And I enjoy doing it. But is that really what the Apostle Paul is talking about in Romans 12? Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality (Romans 12:13). What does it mean to practice hospitality? It's an unusual phrase to me; it stands out to me. The definition of practice means to put something into action—not just think about it. Hospitality comes from the Latin word “hospes” meaning host, visitor, or stranger. It focuses on the treatment of strangers and visitors, not just friends. This is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of hospitality. But I think it's what Paul means: actively seek to welcome and care for those you don't already know. The ESV translation puts it this way, seek to show hospitality. It's not just about entertaining—it's about looking for people in need and reaching out. I also like the way The Message paraphrases it: be inventive in hospitality. Be creative about showing God's love to others who are in need. There's not just one way to practice hospitality. Use the gifts God has given you to practice hospitality. Biblical hospitality goes beyond dinner parties. It's about seeing and serving others—especially those who might feel overlooked or alone. Maybe it's inviting someone who needs encouragement or having a homesick student over for a meal. The Bible doesn't say this is a requirement for only certain people with specific gifts—not just for those of us who like to entertain guests. I think all of us are called to “practice” hospitality. It's not dependent on our own feelings, living conditions, talents, or resources. It's about putting God's love into action in practical and meaningful ways.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Love. This rich, often misused word in our culture is all over the Bible. We seem to hold it loosely in today's culture. Using the word love to say we love a particular food, the way something looks, or how we feel about things, people, and activities. How many times have you proclaimed, “I love this and such!” These cultural exhortations don't meet the biblical standard of love we are commanded to show as followers of Jesus Christ. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-39. We are told, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…and you shall love your neighbor as yourself. 1 John 4:19 gives us the added standard of we love because he (God) first loved us. How did Jesus love us? Sacrificially, unconditionally, and wholly. He loved us so much he died for our sins. God's love is not loose. God's love is described as steadfast and enduring, sacrificial, unconditional, personal, and transformative. This is a hesed love. Often translated as lovingkindness, mercy, and steadfast love. It encompasses how much God loves us, and how he shows love for us. As we focus on how to show God's love to others and remember that God's love is constant, we also need to be honest with ourselves. There are worldly blocks that keep us from showing God's love to others. As the world creeps in, the love we are called to show gets dimmed. One of the fruits of the spirit I often need to work on is patience or long-suffering. Of course, the opposite of patience is impatience. One of the ways we can show people God's love is through how we display patience. When we are the opposite—impatient—we can scarcely show love. How patient was God with you in your sin? In your wandering? Before you accepted Jesus? What about after? Clearly, we are having a conversation about being impatient believers. Guess what, God is still patient with us, bearing with us in our sin. Impatience can show itself in how we deal with others and how we deal with situations. Sometimes at the same time! Romans 12:12 tells us to rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. It is natural to impatiently await the end of a hard trial in our lives. Whether it is a health hardship, financial hardship, or something else, what matters is how we show others how we are dealing with whatever it is. Part of showing God's love in tribulation is modeling how our understanding and belief in his faithfulness. It can open conversations with others about why we are different and give us a wonderful opportunity to talk about God's love for us! We may also be impatiently waiting to hear about something good! Perhaps it is a promotion or a new job. Again, are you impatiently displaying your waiting, or are you telling others how you trust God's timing for you. Being filled with impatience whether in the waiting or a trial doesn't leave us much room to think about how we can love others. Ephesians 4:2 tells us we should act with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. But what about when you don't feel very patient and loving? Is there a person at work who is on your last nerve? Whether it is a colleague, boss or subordinate, how can you be patient with them even when you really don't want to? Romans 12:12 offers some of the best advice—be constant in prayer. When I am feeling impatient, this is my go-to. I pray to God to give me the patience he has shown to me. And I ask others to pray very specifically for my patience! I find a close follower of impatience to be judgement. Whether it is judging ourselves harshly or judging someone else, we clearly block both experiencing God's love ourselves or showing it to others. 2 Corinthians 5:10 reminds us that we all must appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the ...

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Has someone ever asked you if you live to work or work to live? Did you know this question is one asked on some assessments to evaluate whether a candidate is a fit for a company culture? I will admit, I was a live to work woman for a long time. Over the years I have shifted more to a work to live mentality, but I know God calls us to strike a balance. After all, he created us for work! Living to work means you get up each day with work as your number 1! Working to live feels more like, I cannot wait for my day to end so I can be doing life. If you were hiring someone, how would you want them to answer this question? While I think we likely have seen a shift in how many would answer this question, I wonder how this sits for a prospective employer. If you are a manager or business owner, you want to hire people who are motivated to come to work and do a good job! But I would argue you also want employees who have a good balance of loving their life! As employees, God calls us to do good work as we are his representatives every day, but we need to be mindful we don't get too focused on the live to work mentality! It can be so tempting to pour time into our work, especially if we enjoy our colleagues and our work. The more we live to work, the easier it is for that busyness to be all consuming! Jesus cautions us of the live to work mentality. We see this contrast between Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. Martha is busy and distracted with serving and Mary is sitting at Jesus feet listening to his teaching. Jesus tells Martha she is anxious and troubled about many things but one thing is necessary. One thing is necessary, and that is coming to the feet of Jesus. If you and I are anxious and distracted by living to work, we will clearly miss opportunities to both experience God's love and show God's love to others. Striking a balance, making God first and loving others a close second, is where we need to rest.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Have you set some goals lately: personal or professional? How are they impacting how you show God's love? Goals are important: personally and professionally. In the context of work, goals help us understand our part in a larger vision or project that impact our organization. Outside of work, goals can help us focus on achieving in other aspects of our life like health or finance. I would argue any good goal can go bad, especially when it takes us away from what is most important to God. Again, Scripture tells us God wants us to love him and love others as we love ourselves. How full is your goal set both at work and personally? Is this filling your time so much that you are not able to love God or love others? We live in a metric-based, title-hungry culture. When we set goals, how are we being measured, and what is the reward? When the measurement and reward become more important than God, we start walking down that slippery slope. Are you in sales? Perhaps you take an extra lead or two that will help win a trip or sweeten a bonus, but this causes a colleague to miss their goal by a margin. Or maybe you end up staying late to get more done and skip a church commitment. Are you working a lot of overtime to make your metrics look better than others at work and miss time connecting with a friend in prayer? Perhaps you feel like you are pulling a lot of weight on a project and complain about a colleague, not knowing they are suffering a personal hardship. Personally, have you set goals that compromise your time spent in God's Word, or are you doing activities you enjoy but keep you away from showing love to your family? Measurement and reward: They are not bad but can become bad when they are not balanced with our thoughts about God and our love for others. We are already winning in the eyes of God if we have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. How can we show this to others? Maybe you pass those sales leads along, help balance the workload to make your team look better or ask questions when a colleague is falling behind on a project. We are called to walk differently. Our reward is much greater than any trip or title we could ever achieve here on earth! How can we show others this type of love? Not the pizza and coffee love. Not the “I love my dog” love. Not the “I love the way the color looks on you” love. I mean the “I want to share life with you” love—the proverbial “I would give to someone event if it hurt” love. The love that weeps with those who weep and rejoices when others rejoice. When we are too busy, it is easy to give the glossy heart and flowers love. It is harder to focus on and think about how God wants us to show his love to others.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen A culture of busyness can keep us from showing God's love. How loosely do we hold this word? Like our notions about time, we also confuse love. A large part of our problem is we love everything and everyone. So, when you pause to think about how to show God's love to others or to explain to them what God's love feels like, maybe it gets lost in the emptiness we often attribute to this word. We all love. When thinking about using the word love, my mind is filled with red and pink hearts, flowers, candies, and other visual or physical ways we see or experience love. I also think about how many times I have used the word love in the prior weeks. I love having coffee with my friends. I love the flowers I buy from a local farmstand. I love my husband. I love my dogs. I proclaim how much I love a friend's dress. I love pizza. I loved our zoom gathering this month. I think you see my point. We fly loosely with the word love, and if we are too busy to reflect on how special God's love for us is, it will be very hard to show it to others. While everything I noted already can help us show God's love to others, we need to go deeper into the meaning of what God wants us to show others. God's love is described as steadfast and enduring, sacrificial, unconditional, personal, and transformative. Perhaps you have heard the word Hesed. This is the deep conventual love in action that God gives to us as a promise. There is nothing we can do to change God's love for us. It never fades. We feel God's sacrificial love in John 3:16. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). We see his steadfast and enduring love for those that, even though they wander like Israel, God still loves them. We see his transformational love in Jesus' abundant healing ministry. How can we show others this type of love? Not the pizza and coffee love. Not the “I love my dog” love. Not the “I love the way the color looks on you” love. I mean the “I want to share life with you” love—the proverbial “I would give to someone event if it hurt” love. The love that weeps with those who weep and rejoices when others rejoice. When we are too busy, it is easy to give the glossy heart and flowers love. It is harder to focus on and think about how God wants us to show his love to others.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen How are you filling your calendar each day? These days, it is harder to be disconnected and unseen. Even through the lens of work, digital connection and the importance of social media can fill our moments more than we realize. Most companies have an entire marketing and social media strategy, but now we live in a time where personal branding and social media strategies are noted as important for our careers. Gone are the simple days of a resume, and if you are in a job search, it can feel overwhelming. The traditional outplacement or career coach has taken on a new role that focuses on image, connection, and perhaps even developing a website. While the first use of the term personal brand dates back to 1997 in an article in Fast Company Magazine, the notion of personal brands as a strategic career asset is relatively recent. While created in 2003, LinkedIn has exploded in the recent years alongside other platforms. You may be thinking, Lauren, what does this have to do with how I show God's love?! My answer—simply, if we don't pay enough attention to the need for our own attention, it is easy to keep the focus on ourselves and not on others. Now, I am not suggesting a personal brand is bad, but I do want us to think about the time it takes. What are you doing in your spare moments to create your personal brand? If you are in a job search this may be a greater amount of time, but if you are working full-time, this easily creeps into spare moments and evenings. How much time are you spending focused on yourself? And if you are focused on your personal brand, how can you first spend that all important time with God? And how can you show God's love if you are constantly consumed with the social and digital aspects of this personal brand culture? Have you ever paused to consider what the Lord wants for our self-promotion? How would God want us to get noticed? How is God part of your personal brand? And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you (Matthew 6:5-6). First, as we balance showing our faith at work, we need to consider our intentions always. Are our intentions genuine, or are we trying to be seen? Second, invite God into this practice through prayer. How can he guide how you present yourself? Finally, pause and make sure you are looking at the needs of your neighbors. Don't spend so much time consumed with your digital brand that you forget the importance of connecting with others. Maybe they are struggling with some of the same things. How can you invite God and others into this new era of extra busyness that can easily cause too much self-focus?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen We live measuring time: minutes, hours, days. We count just about everything that we do in time. We use time to mark special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Some of us make lists of what we are doing with our time, and almost everyone has a digital calendar with the advent of the smartphone. We talk about how we fill our time, as if there is a vessel to be filled. The problem is we keep filling the vessel until it simply overflows and cannot hold anything else! We talk a lot about how we fill our time. In fact, it is common to ask, what does your schedule look like this week? Do you have time for ___? Can you squeeze in ___? Think about your calendar for a moment. I want you to visualize this for me. Each day has 24 hours that can be scheduled whether you use a paper or a digital calendar. Most mark the time in 30-minute increments. How much of your calendar is full or colored in? Family, work, social commitments, but what about God commitments? You have heard this before: if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy. Attributed to Corrie ten Boom, this phrase sums up why I want to highlight our culture of busyness and how this inhibits us from showing God's love. You and I are running quickly and filling our calendars with everything but God. And, if we are not filling our time seeking God's presence, other things that can be bad more readily can creep in. How can we expect to experience God's love or show others God's love if we make no time for this? We will consider some of the ways our work culture creates more busyness—inhibiting us from showing God's love if we don't consciously make time to fill our moments, thinking about this most important command, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37) and to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39).

I'm sure there have been people in your life you thought, “I'd like to be like her—or like him.” You saw things in that person which were attractive and endearing, and you desired those qualities for yourself. Well, I want to encourage you to have that attitude toward a man named Joseph. His name was Joseph, but the apostles called him Barnabas, which means Son of Encouragement. You can read about him in Acts 4. Imagine people calling you by a name that signified you were an encouraging person. I can't think of a greater compliment, can you? I want to show you how you can become a Barnabas in your workplace; you can be known as a person who encourages others. A good friend, Traci Mason, has compiled these ideas and allowed me to share them with you. We all recognize our workplaces can be full of discouragement, especially in these days of economic uncertainty. But this gives us a perfect opportunity to help others by becoming an encouraging person. Now, mind you, this will take some time and effort on your part, but the return on your investment will be eternal! So, here are some practical ways you can become a Barnabas where you work: Write notes. Handwritten notes are almost extinct. Keep a supply of note cards and encourage colleagues by placing a note on their desk, in their mailbox, or in their hand. It's easy to make personalized cards on our computers now; so, get creative and write a note just to encourage someone. Send e-cards. It's really easy to send an e-card to your coworkers to let them know you are thinking of them. You can even send the same card to multiple addresses. Employees receive messages that make requests and give instructions. They would surely welcome something more pleasant in their inbox, and an e-card would be a pleasant surprise. Remember birthdays. Find out the birthdates of coworkers, put them on your calendar, and simply give each coworker a birthday card to help them celebrate their special day. We send birthday cards here each month, and I've been amazed at how many people are encouraged to receive a special birthday card. It's so easy to do! Smile! Did you realize a simple smile can cheer up and encourage someone? Smiles are contagious and can brighten the atmosphere where you work. When talking to or passing by others, just turn up the corners of your mouth and flash them a radiant smile. It costs you nothing, and it can really make a difference in someone's day. Greet people! As you enter the workplace, greet coworkers with a simple, “Good morning.” You never know the energy it took for others to arrive at work. A pleasant greeting can start a person's day off right and possibly help them forget about their troubles. Be the Welcome Committee. When a new employee joins the team, introduce yourself and offer to be of assistance. Help that person find his or her way around, offer to have lunch together. Think how comforting it could be for that new colleague, because being the new person can be challenging and a little frightening. Share your lunch. Purposely take more than you can eat for lunch and invite a coworker to eat with you. Or if you baked something special and have some leftovers, bring it in for others to enjoy. You could go the extra mile and ask them ahead of time to share lunch with you the next day. You may be thinking these don't sound very impressive or important, but it is so often the little things we do can touch someone else. These things help them see they are not forgotten, and they are encouraged. Become an encourager on the job. It will make a difference. Here are some more creative ways you can be a Barnabas on the job: Offer to help your boss. That's what I said—offer to help your boss. Instead of running from work or assignments, ask your boss what you can do today to help him or her, especially if you know your boss is under a lot of pressure. Bosses need help just like everybody else, yet often they are overlooked.

When was the last time you told someone, “I love you”? I hope it hasn't been long since you expressed love to someone, and I hope it hasn't been long since someone returned that expression of love to you. Love has the power to transform us, both as givers and receivers of love. I'm not speaking necessarily of romantic love, though of course that certainly can transform us, can't it? Rather, just love in general—knowing that we are loved and being able to love others can change you, put a smile on your face, put a lift in your step, transform the mundaneness of life into something meaningful. All because we are loved and are loving. That's why Paul wrote to the Corinthians that love never fails. What else in life can you say never fails? The best computer you can buy can and does fail. The best friend can fail you. The best job can fail to deliver what you need or want. God can never fail you, and God is love. Love never fails. It never fails to transform a person who is difficult, though it may take longer than you want. I remember when a friend of mine, Beth, worked for a very difficult manager. No one liked her; she was demanding, unfriendly, sour—just a miserable person. God used a verse—Proverbs 19:6—to tell Beth how to show love to this woman. That verse says, “Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts.” She knew God wanted her to give this woman a gift on her birthday. She bought something small but thoughtful, wrote a note thanking her for pursuing excellence, and left it on her desk on her birthday. This simple act of love transformed that woman, and she and Beth became friends from that point on. With tears in her eyes, she said to Beth that no one had ever given her a birthday gift before. Because Beth was willing to obey God's voice to show love to this woman, it transformed her, filling up a huge empty space inside of her and changing that relationship. Love is powerful. It never fails. I hope you will bask in the incredibly good news that God loves you and nothing can separate you from his love. And then you will become more and more intentional about loving others. It has the power to transform you, your relationships, your attitude, your productivity—love transforms us. Believe me, it's true.

Why is it so important for us to be loved? We were created by God with this need to love and be loved. This need is at the core of your being, and if you don't feel you are loved, it leaves a huge empty space in your sense of worth and value. The sad truth is if you grew up without feeling loved as you should have been, it can leave you emotionally needy, and that means you can't love others as you should. You don't have love to give, so to speak. This lack of love and loving then can lead to all kinds of emotional and mental problems, such as resentment, bitterness, a judgmental spirit, or depression. And then your lack of love from others begets more lack of love from you to others. It becomes a vicious cycle. This great need for love can lead you to look for love in all the wrong places, as the song goes, and put you on an endless quest for acquiring love, and that quest actually takes you further and further away from true, unconditional love. Can you relate to this? No doubt you know people who are on or have been on that futile quest for love. Here's the incredibly good news: God's love for you can fill up that emptiness inside, which then gives you the ability to love others, and then you'll discover the love you give others comes back to you. We get love by giving it away, and we have love to give away because we know we are loved by Jesus. If you want to fill up your inner coffers with love, find some ways today to love others. Who is in your life today? How can you give them love? Here are some suggestions: Purpose in your heart to find something good about that person or people in your life today and express it in words to them. Listen to someone's story without criticizing or lecturing them—even without giving advice. Call someone who is needy and say, “I'm here for you if you need me.” Compliment someone on a job well done, an attractive outfit, a kindness offered. Smile! It doesn't take much to share love with someone else. We just have to remember to do it. Of course, we need to pray God will help us to become lovers—people who willingly and frequently share his love with others. Remember, love begets love. Try it! You won't be sorry you did.

I'm examining how love transforms people—it truly does! Researchers tell us that loving and being loved actually changes our brains, our thought patterns, and our reactions. That's what God's love for us can do. It has the power to make us productive, grateful, kind, and generous toward everyone, even people who are not easy to love. For example, here's one of the changes we will see in others as we become better and better at sharing God's love with them: Love has the power to inspire someone to greatness. Do you know someone who is wasting their potential? Maybe they don't even know they have potential, or perhaps they're fearful of trying. I wonder—if they knew you see potential in them, if you loved them by encouraging them, could it empower them to reach their potential? Do you remember when Jesus called Simon as a disciple and gave him the name of Peter? He referred to Peter as a rock and said Peter would play a pivotal role in establishing the early church and spreading the gospel. Was Simon Peter a rock when Jesus called him? No, he had a long way to go before he reached “rock status,” but Jesus called him what he would become, and Peter became the rock of the early church. I have a dear friend who many years ago was bothered by a stutter. But I saw potential in her; she had the instincts of a performer, and I encouraged her to take small parts in a ministry at church that put her in front of people. She loved doing it, so she joined Toastmasters, where she learned to make presentations. Now she is very polished and gifted as a speaker and actor, and that stutter has been conquered. I just loved the potential I saw in her, and she has done what she never thought she could do as a result. Your love of encouragement could transform someone's life. Don't underestimate the transforming power of love.

Love transforms people. The Bible is full of stories of transformational love; we are admonished throughout Scripture to love as we have been loved by God. We know God not only loves, but he also is love. That's his very nature, and we are created by this God to love and be loved. It is God's love for us that transforms us, and then, it is our privilege and responsibility to share that love with others. Romans 5:5 tells us God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. When we are born into God's family through faith in Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to live in us, and he simply pours God's love into our hearts. If others are going to know God's love, they must experience his love through me and you as God's love in us is shared with them. Is there someone in your life right now who is trouble for you? It could be a coworker or a boss, a child or a mate, a friend or foe. You know what they need? Love. I know—they're probably not very lovable, but that doesn't change the fact that they need love! What could you do today to show love to that person—undeserved, unconditional love? Maybe it's a phone call or a note or a gift or a listening ear. Maybe it's a lack of criticism and condemnation, a willingness to love them as they are in their unlovable condition. We often get so busy in our day-to-day lives we forget to stop and express love. Frankly, we're always ready to receive love but not always prepared to give it. I find I must become intentional about expressing love; I have to remember to do it. I often take for granted the love I receive from others—my family and friends—without focusing on the love they need from me. Maybe you're feeling very unloved. If you're waiting to be loved before you give love, you've got the cart before the horse. It's the principle of sowing and reaping—you reap what you sow. You need love? Then love someone else and love will come back to you. We can only receive love when we are intentional about giving love. Love is transformational—and we can become God's agents of change to people in our lives by simply taking time each day to give love—and love can be given in many ways. Think of some new ways to share God's love today; it will transform your day, I promise.

My question for you today is: What are the transformational points in your life? What person or situation or circumstance has made such a difference in your life that you can say, “That transformed me”? Transformed is a very strong word. It means a real change in our nature, character, or appearance. Something permanent, not temporary. If you think carefully about it, my guess is the transformational points in your life came because of love. Love has the power to transform us. For example, getting to know Jesus and accepting his gift of salvation certainly transforms our nature, doesn't it? The Bible says we become new creations in Christ; the new has come, the old has gone. The love of God transforms us like no other love ever could. No wonder John 3:16 is the favorite verse in the Bible for many people. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). It's because of that incredible love that we can have eternal life. I love the old hymn that begins “Loved with everlasting love, led by grace that love to know.” And then ends by declaring, “In a love that will not cease, I am his and he is mine.” Knowing I am the one Jesus loves has transformed me, how about you? I simply can't get through that hymn without tears of joy just knowing how God—the God of all the universe—loves me. Love is transformational. There's no doubt about it. Secular studies have repeatedly shown how love transforms people. They tell us knowing we are loved actually changes our brains. And of course, we know people who are not loved as children grow up with inner coffers that are horrifically empty. And this lack of love leads to all manner of other emotional and mental issues. Have you been transformed by the power of the love of Jesus? Have you accepted his free gift of salvation by confessing your sins and believing he is the Son of God who paid the price for your sin, because he loves you? If not, there is no doubt an empty space inside of you that is love-starved for Jesus, and I would urge you even today to simply confess your sins to him and accept the love he offers.

The Bible doesn't tell us to like everyone, but we are commanded to love everyone. Here are just a few of the scriptures that make it clear: 1 John 4:21: And he has given us this command:  Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. 1 John 4:8: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Luke  6:32 & 35 Jesus said: Love your enemies. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. Leviticus 19:18: Love your neighbor as yourself. In fact, Jesus said there are two great and primary commandments (Matthew 22:37-40) and simply put, they are: Love God and love people. In fact, Jesus said all the commandments hang on these two; they are foundational to our faith. Easy to say, right? Love God, love people—but when you run into unlikable people, you feel like you've hit the spiritual brick wall. Since we cannot like them, we usually conclude we cannot love them either. Isn't it true that we just naturally think you have to like someone before you can love them? Like is the first step, the beginning of love. So how can you love someone you don't like? Part of the problem is that love has different definitions, and we sometimes get them confused. In the Bible we find three types of love in the original language. The first is Philo, which is the love we have toward friends, family, and others in our lives. Philo love is what Paul describes in Romans 12:10: Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Then there is Eros love, which is a more physical form of love. It's the kind of love shared between a husband and wife, hopefully accompanied by Philo love as well. Then there is Agape love, which is the unconditional love God has for you and me. Nothing you do can change how God loves you. Ephesians 2:4-5 describe this Agape love: But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. This is love which loves because its own inherent nature is to love. That's why the Bible says, God is love (1 John 4:8). Love is his nature. The kind of love we need to love people we don't like is agape love. Now, agape love is not necessarily a feeling. We can love with agape love whether the feelings are present or absent, whether they are good or bad, whether this love is reciprocated or not. It is not based on feelings. Agape love is an action. That's how it's always described in Scripture. The Bible tells us we know God loves us because he sent his Son into the world to redeem us. We know Jesus loves us because he gave his life for us. The Bible says,  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends (John 15:13). And Jesus said that we know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands (1 Johnn 2:3). God's kind of love is an action, not a feeling. Now, that really is good news, because it means we can love people toward whom we do not necessarily have good feelings. You can love people toward whom you have no feelings at all. Since love is an action, you can obey God's command to love everyone. First Corinthians 13 is a good place to look for a practical description of love. A few of these are: Patience: When you act with patience toward someone, you are loving them. Keep in mind that love is not a feeling, so we don't have to feel patient. Can you remember acting with patience even when you did not feel patient? That is agape love. Kindness: When you feel like saying something sarcastic or cutting or angry, but instead you say something kind, that is a love action. Not Jealous: When you refuse to behave jealously or possessively, you are showing love. Has Good Manners: Just plain courtesy is a love action. How often we forget good manners, like not interrupting others when they're talking, letting others go ahead of us, etc.

Would you like to become known as a person of extraordinary love? It is possible for you and me to become really good at loving other people the way God wants us to. But it won't just happen. We have to learn how to practice love in our everyday lives. My challenge to you is to truly focus on loving like Jesus loves. I am offering you a two-week plan to learn to practice love, which is based on the description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. God's love is an action, not a feeling, so we can learn to be a true lover as we learn to practice those attributes of love found in this wonderful chapter. This plan is available to you right now online at christianworkingwoman.org. It's simple, easy, and doesn't take much time. But it could be absolutely life-changing for you because as the famous chapter reminds us, love never fails. It never fails to transform us as we learn how to love better and better, and it transforms those to whom we extend God's love. Our motivation and power for learning to practice love has to come from God's love for us. John wrote: See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are (1 John 3:1)! In his Gospel, John identifies himself as “the one Jesus loves.” That was his identity, his motivation, his inspiration—Jesus loved him, and he lived in that love. As you and I live more and more in the truth that we are loved by the eternal God, that nothing can ever separate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus, and that God's love for us will never change, the more we are capable of loving others. Then we will have the love of God to give to others, and we can truly practice love on a daily basis and become powerful transmitters of God's love to our world. I hope you will join me and make loving God and loving people your primary focus. I believe my simple plan will help you, but however you do it, make love your life's goal. Pray that you will be more and more rooted and grounded in love. Remember, that two-week plan is available now at christianworkingwoman.org.