Broadcasts – Christian Working Woman

How would you like to work with someone who resents you, is jealous of you, and treats you rudely? That's what our friend Fran is facing on her job. Jenny, a new coworker, has been asked to work under Fran's supervision, but her jealousy and resentment have become obvious to the boss, Marilyn. While Marilyn is having a private talk with Jenny, Fran is in her office praying for guidance. She told God if he wants her to relinquish this new account to Jenny, she will do so. In a few minutes Marilyn walks into her office. “Fran, I explained to Jenny that I make the business decisions here, and I reminded her she was fully informed of what her status would be when she requested the transfer here. So, she's agreed to work with you on this account. If you have any problem, you let me know.” “Marilyn,” Fran says, “I'm willing to give her the account if you want me to. But I'm not sure how easy it's going to be for us to work together.” “There's no way I'm going to let you give up that account. You won it, and it's yours. And if anybody can work with Jenny, you can, Fran.” And with that Marilyn goes back to her office. Since it's almost quitting time, Fran heads for the door just as Jenny is leaving. “Jenny,” Fran says, “I know you're not happy with this latest arrangement. I can understand how you feel…” “Oh, give me a break, Fran. You don't understand or care how I feel,” Jenny comes back with great anger. “Just don't think I'm going to do all the dirty work.” “Jenny, please,” Fran begins, “I even offered to give you the account, but Marilyn insists we can work together. I certainly want to try.” “You offered to give me the account?” Jenny is incredulous. “I don't believe it. You're just trying to make points with Marilyn. Just don't expect me to do your work for you, Fran.” Fran recognizes there is no way she can have a rational conversation with Jenny, so she goes to her car and heads home. The tears start to come. “Lord, what am I going to do?” What is Fran going to do? There's no happy ending to this story. Fran cannot turn Jenny around, and as they work together, Jenny increases her attacks on Fran. Many times, Fran is tempted to go to Marilyn and tell her what's happening, but each time she has a check in her spirit. She spends many miserable days trying to work with Jenny. Finally, Jenny resigns her position and leaves the company, full of bitterness and anger. “It's so sad,” Fran says to the Lord, “and I feel bad for her. But Lord, what more could I do?” Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy (Proverbs 27:4). Not every story has a happy ending, even when we obey the Lord and do what he tells us to do. But we can trust the results to him.

Jealousy can cause any of us to do and say things that are hurtful and wrong. Fran is learning first-hand how the jealousy of a coworker can be very painful. Jenny is jealous of Fran because of her success in the company. Now with a new account Fran has just signed up, it appears Marilyn is going to assign Jenny to work with Fran on it. For Fran, it's the worst possible news she could hear, because Jenny has been openly arrogant and rude to Fran. As she and Jenny go into Marilyn's office, Jenny says to Fran, “If you think I'm going to take orders from you, think again, Fran. I know more about this account than you will ever know.” Fran has no opportunity to respond, as Marilyn walks in at that moment. “Well, it seems to me,” Marilyn says, “you two are a perfect match to work on the Edwards account, since you have a lot of good experience with construction companies, Jenny.” The silence is deafening. Nobody says anything. Marilyn continues, “I am right, am I not, Jenny? You had a large construction account in Atlanta?” “I certainly did,” Jenny begins, “much larger than this one.” The anger in her voice is obvious. “I see,” Marilyn says, beginning to sense there is a problem here. “Do you have a problem working with Fran on this account?” “Well, truthfully, I think Fran should be working with me on the account, Marilyn, seeing how I know this business much better than she does,” Jenny says. She is beginning to lose control. “I think you should just let me handle this account. That would make the best business sense.” “I see,” says Marilyn. “So, you don't want to work with Fran on the account?” “Like I said,” Jenny begins again, “I think she should…” “I know,” Marilyn continues, “you think she should work for you. We better have a talk about this. Fran, would you excuse us please?” As Fran walks back to her office, she is literally shaking. Fran prays, “Lord, do you want me to just volunteer to give her the account?” A battle goes on inside of Fran as she wrestles with this issue. She prays and fumes and thinks, and finally she says, “Lord, I can't stand Jenny, and there's no way I could give her this account. But if you want me to do it, I can do it for you. So, right now I relinquish the control and I'm willing to do what you want me to do. Just show me.” And with that, she sits quietly. Her spirit calms down, and the peace of God descends upon her—that peace that passes understanding. As soon as she lets go of her rights and gives the Lord permission to do his will, she can relax. Now she is in a win-win situation. It's difficult to let go, isn't it? But letting go and giving God the control always brings peace.

We continue our most recent story of Fran and Jesus on the Job. Fran finds herself on the receiving end of a jealous coworker, who is very vocal and very vicious in her attitude toward Fran. A week ago, Fran made an important presentation to a new prospect, and today is the day she is to get their answer. This morning, in some quiet time with the Lord, Fran prays, “Lord, once again I give over to you the results of this new business. I pray you will give me a favorable response, but no matter what happens, help me to be gracious and kind.” Then she thinks about Jenny. Fran has struggled to have a right attitude toward her, because Jenny has said some unkind and rude things to Fran. “Lord, I know Jenny is not in my life by accident. I don't like her, Lord, but I want to be willing to let you love her through me. And Lord, help me to see her the way you see her. I know underneath her tough exterior and her angry demeanor, there is a big hurt only you can heal. Please help me to see her through your eyes.” About ten o'clock that morning, Fran makes the call and to her great delight, she learns they will sign a contract with her. She makes an appointment to be at their office first thing tomorrow morning, then goes in to tell her boss. “Congratulations, Fran,” Marilyn says, as she shakes her hand. “That is great news. We'll announce it at the meeting this afternoon.” Marilyn is obviously pleased. As the department gathers for the meeting, Marilyn enthusiastically announces Fran's success. “This is a very significant account, and Fran did a great job to land it. Obviously, she'll be needing help from the team. In fact, Jenny, since you've had some experience with construction companies, it might make sense for you to help Fran out. We can talk about that.” Fran's stomach does a couple of somersaults. How could Marilyn do that to her? She can never work with Jenny. Now what is she going to do? As the meeting ends, everybody is congratulating Fran. Jenny starts to walk out without saying anything, when Marilyn stops her. “Jenny, why don't you and Fran come into my office for a few minutes. Let's talk about this new account.” “Lord,” Fran prays silently, “I need wisdom, and I need grace. Please help me. You know I can't work with Jenny. Please deliver me.” She can hear that inner voice of God's Spirit responding to her panic. “What you can't do, I can.” With that assurance, she heads toward Marilyn's office.

Solomon wrote: Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy (Proverbs 27:4). Who indeed? Fran is discovering just how dangerous it is to work with a jealous coworker. A woman named Jenny transferred to Fran's office and accepted a lower position. She has become more and more vocal about how over-qualified she is for her job. Today Fran and her good friend, Louise, are walking to the cafeteria when Jenny walks in behind them. Fran and Louise have tried unsuccessfully to be friendly to Jenny, but they try once again. “Want to join us for lunch?” Louise asks. “Yeah, why not,” Jenny responds. As they sit down to eat, Jenny says to Fran, “You had a presentation today, didn't you, Fran?” “Yeah, we're trying to get the Edwards Construction account,” Fran replies. Jenny says, “I landed the largest construction company in the Southeast when I worked in Atlanta, you know.” Fran can feel the anger start to creep up within her. She sends up a wordless prayer before she responds. “I wish I had known, Jenny. I could have used your help.” “Well, they should have let me have that account,” Jenny says. “I've got the experience that would have guaranteed we would get it. How did the presentation go?” It's all Fran can do to answer Jenny with a civil tone of voice. “I really couldn't tell. They said it would be a week before they decide.” Louise is angry, too, and she just can't sit there without defending her friend. She says, “I can assure you, if anyone can get that account, Fran can. I'm sure you did a great job, Fran.” Jenny laughs and says, “Well, Louise, I'd expect you to say that about your good friend, but I'm looking at it from a business perspective. With my experience, I would have done a better job.” “Excuse me,” Louise retorts, “but that's your opinion and you ought to keep it to yourself.” “Oh, Louise, don't take everything so personal. I'm just saying it like it is,” Jenny replies. “I call that rude,” Louise says. “Hey,” Fran interjects, “this conversation is getting out of hand. Thanks for your loyalty, Louise, but Jenny has a right to her opinion. Maybe we better get back to work.” As they start to leave, Jenny says, “You know, it's stupid for women to be so emotional about these things. I'm just talking business, and you two keep taking it personal.” Fran and Louise walk away without another word to Jenny, but steam is coming out of Louise's ears. “Can you believe that woman? She's just jealous of you, Fran.” And jealousy can be dangerous.

Have you ever worked with someone who was jealous of you? In Fran and Jesus on the Job, Fran discovers a coworker is not only jealous of her but seeks to ruin her. As I periodically present these stories of Fran and Jesus, it is my prayer you will be encouraged to practice the presence of Jesus on your job and seek his guidance in every situation you face. On this Wednesday morning, Marilyn, Fran's boss, comes into her office and says, “Fran, I want you to meet Jenny. She just transferred here from our Atlanta office, and she'll be working with Phil as his assistant.” “Glad to meet you,” Fran says, as she extends her hand. “If I can help in any way, let me know.” “Yes, Jenny, you can always count on Fran. She's one of our best account reps, so she knows the ropes well,” Marilyn adds. “That's nice,” Jenny says, “but I can hold my own. I…uh…I was sales leader in the Atlanta office last year, but I had to transfer out here because my husband took a new job, so…” “Well,” Marilyn chimes in, “we just didn't have a sales slot for Jenny right now, but I'm sure something will open up before too long.” “I sure hope so,” Jenny says. “I didn't put in all that hard work as an account rep to work as an assistant.” It is obvious Jenny is not happy with her current assignment. As they leave, Fran thinks: She acts like she's too good to have that job. I think she's going to be trouble. But as soon as she starts that kind of thinking, the Spirit of God convicts her. “I'm sorry, Lord,” she prays quietly, “forgive me for thinking of her in negative ways. Help me to have the right attitude toward her.” Fran is learning a very important principle about dealing with people. When you are working with someone you don't particularly like, don't allow yourself to indulge in derogatory thoughts about the person. Instead, pray for him or her. Every time you are tempted to think unkind thoughts about the person, just stop right in the middle and change those thoughts to a prayer. Pray for your attitude toward the person and pray for him or her.

I don't know about you, but I find I can easily make commitments. I can decide I really want to do something and set my mind to do it. But if I don't have a plan as to how it gets done, it just remains good intentions that usually don't become reality. So, what I'm hoping is that you will not only be inspired to reflect Christ more on your job, but you'll have some specific actions that will make a difference in your life and in your workplace. So, here's my fourth suggestion (view part one for the first three suggestions) as to how we can more perfectly reflect Christ on our jobs: Be Transparent and Vulnerable Jesus gave us clear instructions as to how we are to live as Christ-followers in our worlds. In Matthew 5:14-16 we read from his sermon on the mount: You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. In other words, we're not called to be undercover Christians. Even in our post-Christian culture, Jesus' challenge does not change. We are not to hide our lamp—our witness—as Christ-followers, and that includes on our jobs. The challenge we face is how to do that naturally, organically, and not in an unnecessarily offensive way. Someone has said that too often we Christians are more interested in giving out the right news instead of the good news. We believe we're right, based on God's Word, and we never compromise those beliefs. But we do it through being real, not with a know-it-all attitude or arrogance of any kind. You and I must be approachable, real, and transparent in the way we live if we ever hope to have influence in our world today. If you project a plastic image to those around you, an image of “I've got this all figured out, and my life is always together,” then who can ever relate to you? Let me ask you: Do you fake happiness even when you are sad about something? Do you share personal struggles and concerns with coworkers appropriately? Can you and do you naturally talk about how God has helped you through hard times, how he has answered your prayers? Are you willing to be vulnerable, admit your mistakes, or talk about your struggles? Or are you trying not to show a trace of doubt or misgivings or let anyone see the pain in your life? If so, you are putting up a barrier between you and others, and they just don't know how to relate to someone who seems to always be in control! Living a transparent and authentic life means being yourself, without any pretensions. There was a woman who worked for me many years ago who was just always perfect. She was vocal about her faith, but she was also vocal about how perfectly she did her job. She subtly would let everyone else know they should be like her and do their work like she did. Now, she was an excellent worker, but she made everyone else in the department uncomfortable by her perfectionist demeanor. I often wondered what she was like at home with her husband. And I noticed that she really had no connections in our office; she worked in an isolated atmosphere. That's never going to be an effective way to reflect Christ. So, one powerful way you and I can reflect Christ—be like Jesus—in our workplaces is to be transparent, inviting, and willing to share our lives, the good and the bad, with others. Reflect Christ by Developing the Fruit of the Spirit I come to the fifth suggestion for reflecting Christ on your job, and it is to consistently display the fruit of God's Spirit in your life. Honestly, this is an impossible assignment until and unless you become intentional about bearing much fruit. In John 15:8 Jesus said, This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen In this digital age, it feels like our community is giant! Some days it feels like I have a community of a thousand friends. Honestly, if I ever heard from one of you listening today personally, I am sure it would be like chatting with a lifelong acquaintance! I feel the same when someone reaches out via social media or on LinkedIn to connect about our faith or even a business matter. But truly, how many “friends” can we have? In my opinion, the current workplace culture has us thinking about relationships all wrong. All these different professional groups and networking meetings bring new contacts, but are they true connections? How often are we trading time with a network for true, authentic connection? I say get small! What do I mean by this? Take a sheet of paper. I want you to write down a list of your deep, authentic connections. These are the friends you pray with, laugh with, cry with. The ones you go to for good, biblical advice. These friends know your favorites in life. The good and bad. You should want not only to receive from them but also to give to them in return. How many are on your list? Can you count them easily or did you quickly fill a sheet top to bottom? Jesus held 12 closest to him—the disciples. Surely, he did daily life with others whom he was closest to like Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, but those in his inner circle were fewer than 20. Although Luke says he had a larger group of around 70, this was more of the community around him—think of people who you are friendly with at work or even at church. Going back to your list, who are your inner, most sacred connections? Who are your 12? Who make up your 20? How can you build deeper connections with those closest to you? Maybe some of these connections have come from work—some could be family, and others from church. Building connections and relationships is important to Jesus, and I want all of you to be encouraged if perhaps you aren't finding this community and connection at work. Those of us who are connected in the community of the Body of Christ can be encouraged that God has brought us into his family. Another song for this week: What a Friend we Have in Jesus! Above all, of the friends you have written down on your paper today, write JESUS in big letters at the top!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen As we talk about social connections and community at work, I have been talking about some of the more difficult aspects of this connection—not fitting in, feeling lonely, being exhausted. One common workplace issue I hear from many women is the loss of workplace connection due to betrayal. We can feel betrayed in many ways. Maybe you learn you have suddenly become the topic of office gossip, or a colleague is speaking poorly about your performance to a superior. It could even be you are suddenly left out of lunch or happy hour invitations or other gatherings you would typically attend. If you aren't sure about what has caused you to be the odd “woman” out, this can make the feelings sting even more. Joseph was betrayed deeply by his brothers because of their deeply-rooted jealousy. They were so jealous they thought to kill him but chose to sell him to slavery instead. Joseph was then betrayed by the wife of his employer who lied and said he was making a pass at her! The story of Joseph is in the book of Genesis chapters 37-50. Let's consider Joseph for a moment. Being his Dad's favorite wasn't his fault, but it surely didn't help him. Are you a favored employee at work? Maybe this favoritism made the young Joseph a little prideful. He sometimes recounted his dreams about ruling over his brothers. If you are that favored employee, are you humble or prideful about it? Like young Joseph's brothers, perhaps your colleagues are jealous, but they also don't like how you are responding to all the positive attention you are receiving. Maintaining humility and recognizing the achievements of your colleagues, contributes to a balanced approach to success in the workplace. In Joseph's later years, the betrayal by the wife of his employer was not his fault. My point is sometimes you just cannot control what someone says about you, and this is very hard. Through all this betrayal, Joseph looked to the Lord. He trusted God's plans for his life, even when he was alone in a pit, sold as a slave, and placed in prison for something he clearly did not do. If you suddenly find yourself on the outs with workplace friends, carefully reflect and look to the Lord in prayer. Turn to a connection outside of work to help you consider how you may approach the situation with care, as a follower of Jesus. Rather than rushing to a judgement, prepare to ask some questions and seek to understand.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen We have been talking about how much time we spend at work—one-third of our waking hours—and the social friendships and connections we may or may not have there. Like me, you may be just too exhausted to even think about being social at work! After all, sometimes these connections require even more of your time, and your calendar outside of work can be just as busy. Spending time with other Christian working women reminds me all working women—Christian or not—feel the burdens of the elusive work/life balance more than their male counterparts. A 2024 Gallup poll found 51% of women compared to 39% of men feel stressed at work.[1] Women are more likely to juggle personal items during work hours, which also adds to this. Women are balancing work, caregiving, health, and perhaps additional education opportunities making their days long. Making time for more social connections often feels like another thing they just cannot add to their day. Being too exhausted to engage socially is impacting more than just social connections for women; it is also impacting their opportunities for promotion. A study by Leanin.org found women are less likely to be promoted than men, partly because they participate less in informal social interactions.[2] Our Savior Jesus was sometimes too exhausted for more social engagement too! Hebrews 4:15 reminds us we have a high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. Jesus experienced weariness too. In fact, his exhaustion is one of the things that lead to the interaction with the woman at the well. Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon (John 4:6). Jesus had sent the disciples ahead to bring back food to him, and he was alone. Wearied in the Bible refers to deep physical and emotional exhaustion. We know Jesus was facing both. And I am sure this resonates with you. Your physical body and emotional state are just gassed. Knowing Jesus felt the same way, what habits did he engage? Jesus went to his Father for refreshment. We see this repeatedly in the gospels. Luke 5:16 and 6:12 tell us Jesus withdrew and went up to a mountain to be in prayer with God. We also read this in Mark 1:35. When you feel too exhausted to connect socially, connect with God in prayer. Take time to bring your burdens to the Lord. Pray for the right connections and interactions. Pray for balance and refreshment. Pray for the right opportunities at work. After all, God is your best social interaction. --- [1] Barry, K. (2024, December 4). More Than a Program: A Culture of Women's Wellbeing at Work. Gallup.com; Gallup. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/653843/program-culture-women-wellbeing-work.aspx [2] Women in the Workplace. (n.d.). Lean In. Retrieved September 29, 2025, from https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace/2018/women-get-less-support-less-access-at-work

Presented by Lauren Stibgen With one-third of our life spent working, it is no wonder we seek friendship and connection from our colleagues. A recent Forbes article from March 2024 titled How Loneliness Can Impact Your Job (And Life) by Tracy Brower says 69% of employees report they are unsatisfied with their social connections at work, and 43% don't feel a sense of connection with their colleagues.[1] Loneliness is universal, and it doesn't hold a title or age. CEOs and assistants are equally impacted by these feelings of disconnection. Since it is subjective, we need never negate our own personal feelings of loneliness or those feelings of a colleague. As followers of Jesus, what does this mean for us? First, what if we are the employee feeling dissatisfied with our social connection at work? Turning to the Word of God can remind us it is our God who sees us in our daily work even when we feel alone. Consider when the woman at the well went to draw water. She went in the middle of the day, the hottest time. Although we are not told about her feelings, we know she went alone because she likely was not accepted by the other Samaritan women. She was alone, and perhaps lonely when she encountered Jesus. He knew the intimate details of her not so perfect life and offered her living water—salvation in him! You can read this story in John 4:4-30. And, what about Hagar? She was sent away, pregnant and alone when she was met by God and felt seen. Read more about Hagar in Genesis 16. The woman at the well and Hagar are reminders that even when we are walking alone, God sees us. Maybe you aren't lonely at work. You have a wonderful social community! As a follower of Jesus, we are called to see others. Just as Jesus saw the woman at the well and God saw Hagar, who do you see in your workplace who could use some social connection? There is a Christian song by Brandon Heath, Give Me Your Eyes with perfect lyrics: “Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see…”[2] Take a listen. It can encourage you to see those in your workplace that could use you extending your care and connection in that moment! -- [1] Brower, T. (2024, March 21). How Workplace Loneliness Can Impact Your Job (And Life). Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2024/03/21/how-workplace-loneliness-can-impact-your-job/ [2] Heath, B., & Ingram, J. (2008). Give Me Your Eyes [Song]. In What If We [Album]. Reunion Records.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen We all spend so much time at work. In fact, on average, we will spend about 90,000 hours working over the span of our lifetime. This is one-third of all our waking hours! Given how much time we spend in our workplaces, it is not surprising we want to find community and relationships at work. We can develop friendships that last. While statistics vary between 70-85%, on average, most workers report they have some kind of friendship at work. The statistics are lower for the reporting of a best friend, down to 50%. What if you are a person in the 15-30% category who reports having no social friendship at work? Although this doesn't mean you have no community or friends, it suggests you are spending one-third of your waking hours without a friendly connection. Perhaps your specific job makes it hard to connect with other people. Does your role automatically draw judgement from others? I find it funny that often one of the most relational departments, human resources, can often draw the most judgement. Perhaps it is because this department holds the keys to so many hot button employment related issues like pay, benefits, hiring and firing, and compliance and investigations! Sure, the work can be good, until it isn't! It is good news when they hire a great person for a team but bad news during a layoff. Good news when they add a terrific benefit but bad news when the cost of the benefits goes up! If you work in human resources, I am sure you're familiar with some employees' visceral reaction of, “Uh-oh, here comes HR.” I am sure there are other departments like risk and compliance and sometimes IT that face this same experience and hold a balance between being heroes and then not being very liked at all. Imagine for a moment, a worker from the Bible, Zacchaeus. He was the proverbial tax man during the time of Jesus. Described as a man small in stature, he climbed a tree just to see Jesus. For sure, Zacchaeus was doing his job as chief tax collector, but he was also taking more than he should have and not being very honest. I would guess he was not a very liked guy, and he probably did not have many friends at work. In comes Jesus! He calls Zacchaeus from the tree and asks to have dinner at his house! You can read more in Luke 19:1-10, but Zacchaeus follows Jesus and returns his dishonest gain. If you work in a position that makes others skeptical, remember Jesus sees you. If building relationships at work seems difficult, turn to your first and best relationship with him.

What does it mean to “reflect Christ”? It's a rather unusual use of words. Has anyone ever said to you, “You reflect your mother”? No, usually we say something like “You look like your mother,” or “You remind me of your mother,” or “That's exactly what your mother would say.” If I reflect my mother, even though I don't look like her, people might comment on how very similar my mannerisms, words, or way of life are to her. That, of course, is because she raised me, and it's only natural that I would take on her ways and attitudes. For example, my mother would always clean the house really well before going away for a few days, so I do the same thing. I just don't want to come home to a dirty house. But my husband found this strange. Nobody's going to be here so who cares how it looks? That's the way he saw it. But I'm like my mother. I watched how she did things, and I followed her in her ways. In that way, I reflect my mother. Obviously, it's very important who we choose to reflect. Thankfully for me, my mother was the best person in the world for me to emulate. But I know that's not true of everyone. Maybe you're having to deal with some ways of doing things you learned from someone, but they're not positive or helpful. That's another “kettle of fish,” as we say. I want to talk about how we who call ourselves Christ-followers—people who have claimed the gift of salvation Jesus offers and have placed our faith in him, becoming children of God—should and can reflect Christ particularly on our jobs. Of course, we should reflect Christ in all areas of our lives, but I want to look at it from the perspective of reflecting Christ in the often-godless environments you may encounter on your job. Your job is typically not a place you can take time to open the Bible and share your faith. You're there to do a job and do it well. But there are so many ways you can reflect Christ as you do your job—things that will perhaps open doors for you to share your faith. You just need to be intentional about it, and that's what I'm hoping to help you with. Reflect Christ in Your Thought Life and Attitudes Everything begins in your thoughts. The Bible says as we think in our heart, so we are. What you allow yourself to think about and what you refuse to think about is critical to success in any area of your life. Did you know you have the power through Christ to put wrong thoughts and wrong thought patterns out of your head? And if you know that, do you practice it? Your thought life will determine your attitudes. Think about your attitude toward your job. Are these thoughts mostly positive or mostly negative? If you see your job as simply a duty required of you to pay your bills or a necessary drudgery, I suggest this attitude does not reflect Christ. Maybe you really want a job but not the one you have. So, it's your attitude toward your specific job—the work environment, the people you deal with, the job content itself. Do you face most of your days with a sense of drudgery? With a “It's time to make the donuts” attitude? If so, believe me it shows, and it is not a reflection of Christ. In writing to the Christians in Colossae, Paul said: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving (Colossians 3:23-24). If you want to reflect Christ on your job and please the Lord Jesus, make sure you keep your attitude toward your job in good shape. You're working for the Lord, so work at it with all your heart. Others may never appreciate your good work, but you will receive a blessing—an inheritance—from the Lord as a reward. That means you don't bad-mouth the company, the boss, your coworkers—never! It doesn't mean you stick your head in the sand and ignore wrong practices or behavior, but unless you're doing something to make matters better,

Are toxic coworkers driving you crazy? First, just remember workplaces will be workplaces—people will be people. In most workplaces, you have a lot of different personalities thrown into one cauldron during working hours. Drama, power struggles, office politics, and other unpleasant things are going to happen, at least to some extent. It's not that you just settle for these types of situations, but you shouldn't be shocked to discover that in a sin-infected world, we must deal with toxic people. In Philip Yancey's book, Reaching for the Invisible God, he advises it is easier to act your way into feelings than to feel your way into actions. In other words, do what you know is right to do and let the feelings follow, if they will. If you wait on your feelings to kick in before you do what you know you should do—especially when it comes to dealing with difficult people—you'll be in wait mode many days, if you're like me! John wrote: God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him (1 John 4:16b). Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18). This kind of love is an action, not a feeling. It is a decision not a desire. Sometimes the feelings are present; sometimes they are not. Either way, if we live in God, we must live in love. One of the greatest indications that we truly “live in God” and are new creations in Christ Jesus is our willingness to extend this God-love to people who would have no claim on our love otherwise. After all, these toxic coworkers can't expect you to love them, can they? It's not in your job description and no one can demand it from you. Therefore, when you choose to love in actions and truth, you show a loveless world a sample of what Jesus is like. You become the love of God reaching out to them, unconditional love, which cannot be explained or ignored. It is powerful in its implications and effects on the relationships of our lives. One small verse in 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us love never fails. When nothing else works, try love. When there seems to be no way to improve a relationship, try love. Love never fails.

For many years, I've been sharing the privilege and importance you have as a Christian in the marketplace to let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven, as Jesus told us in Matthew 5:16. In all those years, one issue surfaces most frequently—dealing with people. As Charlie Brown said, “I love mankind; it's people I can't stand!” I'm examining dealing with people who are particularly toxic, spreading their poison where you work. You must intentionally purpose not to let toxic people occupy any more of your thought life than absolutely necessary. Here's another practical suggestion: Distance yourself from them as much as possible. You've heard a lot about setting boundaries, I'm sure. The Bible teaches us to set boundaries. For example, these two passages from Proverbs: Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way (Proverbs 4:14-15). The highway of the upright avoids evil; those who guard their ways preserve their lives (Proverbs 16:17). And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). You must be wise about distancing yourself from people who would fill your mind with evil and try to bring you down emotionally. You may not be able to distance yourself from a toxic person physically, if they are a coworker, but you can learn to distance yourself mentally and emotionally. Pray each day that God will protect your mind and teach you how to literally tune them out when you can. If you can wear headphones where you work use them as a buffer between you and a toxic person. Even if you don't listen to anything, just wearing headphones creates some distance. You have two options: You can gripe and complain about them, letting them bring you down to their level, or you can determine by God's grace, to take whatever steps are necessary to respond appropriately and in Christ-like ways to toxic, difficult people. God loves them as much as he loves you, and no one is in your life by accident.

I can remember times when I worked with or for someone who was toxic. I think of one man who was never pleasant, always complaining and demanding, had no encouraging words ever, and truly poisoned the atmosphere in the room when he entered. Do you have a coworker like this? I'm specifically looking at how Jesus would want you and me to respond and interact with the toxic people in our lives. I think the first challenge is to get your own attitude and reactions to toxic people under control. Learn to do some things that will keep you from—as we say—going crazy. Here is the first and most important thing you can do to protect yourself when you're dealing with a truly toxic person. Don't let your thoughts and your mind dwell on them all the time. When dealing with such a disruptive and irritating person—on a regular basis, no less—it's very natural to let their behavior occupy your mind and your thoughts way too much. You dread going to work because you'll have to deal with them. You fume all the way home because you had to deal with them. They can occupy way too much of your thought life. You need to firmly and swiftly boot the person out of your head. Refuse to let them take over your mind. Philippians 4 tells us to think about things that are lovely, pure, noble—and that pretty much excludes a toxic person. Stop giving them time in your mind. And how do you do that? You do it by replacing thoughts of them with good thoughts, thankfulness, reciting your blessings, and focusing on God's goodness. That's what it means to bring every thought into captivity and make it obedient to Christ, as we read in 2 Corinthians 10:5. This spiritual discipline will make a huge difference in your life. If you have not already discovered this truth and learned how to take wrong thoughts captive, I recommend a book I've written on it, entitled Think About What You Think About. As you head out to work each day, pray the Holy Spirit will remind you to boot those wrong thoughts out of your mind, to help you refuse to allow toxic people to occupy your thoughts in a negative and upsetting way. That is a very important first step.

Are toxic coworkers driving you crazy? These are people you are forced to be with daily, and their habits or attitudes are driving you—well, crazy! What are some characteristics of toxic people? Basically, they are people who somehow poison the atmosphere around them with their attitudes and behavior. As Christians dealing with toxic people, our first challenge is to remember God loves the person just as much as he loves you. See them through God's eyes. The second important thing to remember is the person is not in your life by accident. God is allowing it—not approving of their behavior, mind you—but allowing the person in your life for some good reason. It could be to help you grow in grace as you deal with them. It could be for the good influence you could have on them. It could be both. But trust me, God has a good reason(s) for the person being in your life. We are told in Scripture: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). That's our assignment for dealing with toxic people. Others may live by more commonly accepted relationship principles, such as, look out for number one! Don't take any guff! Stand up for your rights! They may not be motivated to live at peace with everyone, but we are called to this Christ-like objective. It is a lofty one; it is often out of step with the world's wisdom; it is often not appreciated or valued by others. But as disciples of Jesus Christ, it is our guiding principle. Let me assure you when you can respond to toxic people with more patience, more kindness and less anger than others, you are demonstrating the love of Jesus, and it won't be missed. Your coworkers may not believe in God, they may never go to church, they may even think you are some kind of religious fanatic, but they cannot escape the difference in the way you respond to toxic people, when you allow God's Spirit to empower you to respond like Jesus would. Keep these two things in mind, namely God loves them as much as he loves you, and no one is in your life by accident. God has a purpose for allowing that person in your life.

How often do you say something like: “It's driving me crazy”? Or “He's driving me crazy”? It's a way of expressing frustration and impatience with something or someone. And usually it is someone—that person who is getting on your very last nerve! I want to talk about dealing with toxic people—especially coworkers—who are “driving you crazy!” Someone has said relationships are the sandpaper of our lives, and you would probably agree with that—right? When you are dealing with a relationship you wouldn't necessarily choose—like a coworker—and when that person's continual behavior is harmful and disruptive, you can feel like you're losing it—or as we say, you're going crazy. This is one area where your light for Jesus should shine, because as a Christ-follower you and I have Holy Spirit power to give us the ability to deal with toxic people appropriately. I want to share some biblical principles to help you deal with your toxic coworkers. First let's define a toxic person. Toxic means poisonous, dangerous, harmful, and persistent. A toxic person is one who can poison an atmosphere, and their actions and words are harmful and repetitive. Toxic people don't just have a once-in-awhile bad day but recurring unhealthy and hurtful behavior. Here are some signs a person is toxic: They talk more than they listen. They are always right—never admit to being wrong. They are drama queens or kings—drama seems to follow them everywhere. They often lack tact and general courtesy. They often lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want. They exhibit controlling behaviors. They love to talk about other people—to gossip. They are, in general, very negative people. Here's the first thing I want to remind you as we talk about dealing with toxic people. They are people God loves just as much as he loves you. I remember long ago when I worked for a boss who was anything but pleasant; I just found it hard to even be around him. But I remember clearly one day when the thought came to me, no doubt from the Holy Spirit, that God loved him just as much as he loves me. I had to sit down and think about it. How could God love someone so unlovable? But it's true, because God is love. He loves the toxic person in your life just as much as he loves you. Step one is to ask God to help you see a toxic person the way God sees them.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Forming relationships is foundational in every aspect of our lives. From early relationships formed with family and childhood friends, to our experiences in sports, school, and work, we are made for relationships. God is relational. He was never alone. At the beginning of Genesis, we can see the unity God has in the trinity—one God, three persons: The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. (Father) The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters (Holy Spirit) (Genesis 1:1-2). While Jesus is not specifically named in Genesis one, in Genesis 1:26, God says, “Let us make man in our image” (Son). As John 1:1-4 states: In the beginning was the Word (Jesus) and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Thus implying Jesus. The essence of the Almighty is one body with three distinct members. I love the simple way one person described the Trinity as “one what” and “three whos”. We are made in God's image (Genesis 1:26); we are not made to do life alone. But what are relationships with one Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? The more I look externally at my relationships, the more I desire to see how this one relationship could impact every other relationship I have. For most of us, there may be a relationship in our live that is not what we hoped it to be. If you can say boldly, no Lauren, everything is terrific with everyone in my life, I would simply love to meet you! This is not my experience, nor is it my experience with many of my close friends and colleagues. Watch the news or read an opinion article. Our relationships are very broken. Have you ever heard the phrase “born sinner”? This is a theological phrase from the concept of the original sin born by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Yes, the one with the fruit and the snake that leaves Adam and Eve hiding in the bushes naked from God. From this, we have inherited a sinful nature from birth. My aim is not to paint a depressing picture about a lifetime of doomed connections but rather to stress the importance of our personal relationship with God and his trinitarian nature. Each person of the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—plays an important relational role in our lives. Each is a model for how we can outwardly express ourselves in relationship with others. The early age relationships we form are called attachment relationships and help children from birth to 6 years old develop a sense of security and trust which can impact their future relationships as they get older. Can you join me in having the mind of a young child? I want you to deeply consider how you can develop a deep attachment relationship with the persons of the Trinity. A secure and trusting relationship can impact every future relationship you have! After all, some of you are God's child! You have a fresh and new start! In John 3:3, Jesus tells us unless we are born again, we cannot see the kingdom of God. In fact, the Trinity is seen all together in verses in John 3:1-8. While we worship the triune God, let's carefully consider the attributes of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit while recognizing one is not greater than another, and they exist in perfect harmony. How do these specific attributes help us relate to others? God the Father. The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation (Exodus 34:6-7). In Exodus 34: 6-7, God describes himself to Moses. We know he is God, and we are not. Yet, we can consider his attributes in our own relationships. Are we merciful and gracious to others? Slow to anger?

I've been examining how we can do a better job of connecting with people. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling (1 Peter 4:9). How do we show hospitality to one another? There are myriads of ways to do that, but it means you will have to see yourself as the host or hostess rather than the guest. Someone who shows hospitality takes on the responsibility to make others comfortable, to serve their needs, to initiate a welcoming environment, to make the first move. That could be in any situation—at home, at work, at church, while shopping or traveling, etc. Show hospitality to others. Sometimes it simply means taking time to recognize someone and greet them, calling them by name if possible. Sometimes it means interrupting your own plans to help someone out. It could mean inviting people to your home for a meal or taking time to listen to someone's problem. It will require a servant attitude, a willingness to put others first and truly connect with them. But that's the Jesus way, right? Notice that Peter says we are to show hospitality without grumbling. That tells me showing hospitality is not always easy to do. Putting others first requires an attitude that has to come from God's power in us, not from our own selves. It's possible to be hospitable with the wrong spirit—with a grumbling spirit. If you're serious about connecting with others and fulfilling this hospitality challenge, you'll want to pray about it. Pray that God will give you both the desire and the power to want to connect with others, to expend the energy, time and resources that will be required to put others first and die to your own selfish desires. But here's the good news: When you learn to do this, you reap wonderful benefits. You discover dying to yourself brings new life, as Jesus promised. When you get yourself out of the way and make it a daily practice to put others first, you move into that abundant life that Jesus came to give us. It's one of the paradoxes of the Christian life—that if we want to be the greatest, we must be a servant. And by God's grace and for his glory, that can become a reality in our lives.

Do you approach your relationships as a host or a guest? We can improve our ability to connect with others. And the attitude that helps is to think of yourself as the host or hostess rather than the guest. Or, in more biblical terms, as one who serves rather than one who is served. Think about your daily interactions with other people—at work, at home, or church, wherever. Are you a host or a guest? For example, do you initiate the phone call that needs to be made, or do you wait for the other person to call? When you're in a group, do you introduce yourself to someone new or wait for them to introduce themselves first? When someone seems puzzled or confused, do you offer help? Maybe you're thinking you can't be the host or hostess because you're shy or introverted. I want to encourage you to give it a try. It may take you out of your comfort zone temporarily, but once you take that first step to “host” your relationships, you'll see it really isn't that scary, and before long you will be comfortable doing it. It will surprise you to see the positive reactions you receive, and you'll feel very good about connecting with others in more meaningful ways. One of the reasons we hesitate to take the role of host or hostess in relationships is because we fear what others will think of us. I find when I am more concerned about how I will appear to others than I am about trying to connect with them, it's because I am far too self-focused. I have to stop and remind myself it's not all about me. I can assure you if you reach out to others in an attempt to connect in a better, more loving way, you will rarely make a fool of yourself. And so, what if you do? Does the world stop revolving? Does God stop loving you? We just have to get over our intense self-absorption. Or maybe you hesitate to connect with others because it just takes too much effort. I know sometimes I just want to people-out—just have a quiet moment to myself. At those times I just simply make myself become interested in whoever it is around me—someone who just may need a listening ear, a kind word, a smile to encourage them or lift their burden True, it does take effort and time, but the fruit of that effort is very rewarding. I hope you'll consider your responsibility to be a host or hostess with the people in your life, rather than playing the role of the guest. It makes life so much richer and fulfills our God-given responsibility to do unto others as we would want them to do to us.

Think of yourself as a host or hostess on your job—initiate conversations, volunteer help, keep your antenna up for anyone who needs a word of encouragement. This is how we show Christ's love in a world that is starving for kindness and compassion. I've heard one of the Boy Scout's mottos is to “leave it better than you found it.” Imagine how much nicer our worlds would be if we all practiced that regularly—leaving everything better than we found it. If your goal for every relationship was to leave that person better than you found him or her, how would that improve your relationships? It means you would be thinking about the other person and not about yourself—which is a really good thing. No doubt you would listen more than you talk, you would offer to help where you could, you would offer words of encouragement. People don't remember so much what we do or how well we do it, but they do remember how we made them feel. Have you ever thought about how you make other people feel? I'm sure you've thought about how other people make you feel. But let's reverse that and ask ourselves, “How do I make other people feel?” Some people make us feel insignificant. Others intimidate us. Some people make us feel like failures. They may not intend to give off those vibes, but something in their manner or the way they treat you gives you that impression. Stop and ask yourself: Do I unintentionally do that to others? I have learned I can send negative messages to others because of my tendency to be very project oriented and very focused on getting a job done. In the process, I can miss opportunities to recognize people along the way and let them know they are important to me. I've become very intentional about changing that bad habit and I intentionally try to connect with others, especially strangers or people who look a little left out. What kind of messages do you send to others? Do they sense you are a caring person; do you exude an attitude of acceptance and warmth? Do you initiate connections—with greetings, asking questions, and starting conversations? It isn't hard—and it's very rewarding. Don't forget—people remember how you make them feel, so do what you can to make them feel cared for and important.

Do you know the name of the person who cleans your office or who delivers your mail? An important connection skill is to consider everyone significant, and to take the time to learn names and call people by name. Often people in service jobs wear name tags. Waiters, waitresses, cleaning people, doormen—they usually wear name tags. If you see a name tag, call that person by name. And if they don't have a nametag, take the time to ask, “What is your name?” In a world that is often cold and uncaring, something as simple as calling a person by name can bring warmth and a touch of love into that relationship, brief as it may be. Not long ago one of the pastors in our church had the idea of offering permanent nametags to every church member and attender. What a difference that has made in helping us to connect with others at the church. People I've seen for years I now can connect with by name. We connect with each other much better simply because of those nametags—we can call each other by name. If you determine to have a mindset that you are the host or hostess, and it is your job to find common ground with others and make them feel at ease, you will discover you talk less about yourself and focus more on others. Paul wrote to the Philippians we should count others more significant than ourselves. How do you do that? You have to be very intentional about it, pray God will give you both the desire and the power to do it, and then decide what you will do to fulfill that command. If you're like me, your first reaction when being with someone you don't know well is just to wait for them to make the first move. Just this past week I made myself make the first move and begin a conversation with a young woman seated at the same table with me. Now I have a new friend. We are connecting in several ways, and all it took was for me to say, “Hi, I'm Mary; what's your name?” You will be amazed at how easy it is to connect with people once you become the hostess!

I am often asked: What is the main issue people in the workplace are struggling with today? I've been broadcasting this program a long time, and I can tell you one issue remains at the top of most everyone's list, and that is how to deal successfully with people! It's people! In some form or another, our relationships—on the job and everywhere else—cause us more frustration, create more conflict, and waste more of our time than anything else. Of course, relationships also can bring great joy and satisfaction, too. Let's talk about this relationship challenge of connecting successfully with others. Some people seem to have no difficulty forming friendships, generating loyalty, creating community, and getting along with people, while others seem to be lacking in these skills. But remember God equips us to do what he wants us to do, so if making friends and connecting well with others is important—and it is—then he will help you develop the ability to make the first move and initiate connections. It may push you out of your comfort zone, but that's a good thing. It stretches you. One of the first things to connect better with others is to make people feel comfortable in our presence. And we can learn to do that by thinking of ourselves as “hosts” or “hostesses” in any situation. A good host takes the initiative to make others feel comfortable. Most people view themselves as “guests” in life, expecting others to take the initiative and make the first move. But if you will just reverse that tendency and think of yourself as the host or hostess, you will become more proactive in initiating conversations, offering to help others, and discovering that you are beginning to connect with people much more easily. I challenge you to be the “host” as you go to work; see yourself as the person who will initiate connections, who will have your antenna up to be aware of others around you and be willing to get out of your comfort zone and make the first move. It is such a simple idea, but I can promise you it will make a difference in how you connect with others.

In part one, I challenged you to enlarge the way you pray for yourself, using some biblical prayers as guidelines, and I want to follow up on the power of claiming God's promises to you in prayer. For example, think about this passage from 2 Peter 1: 3-4: His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. I want to urge you to start praying this passage into your life, something like this: God, I know you have given me divine power through your Spirit to live a godly life. I know this comes through my knowledge of Jesus and his Word. I pray that you will help me to pursue this knowledge, and I claim your promise that I can participate in the divine nature of Jesus—I can be more and more like Jesus and less and less corrupted by my evil desires. What if God answered this prayer? Would it make a difference in you of eternal importance? The obvious answer is yes, of course. And here's the thing—when you sincerely pray this kind of spiritual prayer for yourself or for others and you consistently claim the promises that are yours in Scripture, you will be more and more transformed into the likeness of Jesus, because you can be assured that God will answer that kind of prayer. I want to encourage you to pray God's promises into your life. I remember a song I sang as a kid that said, “Every promise in the book is mine, every chapter, every verse, every line.” It's a good reminder that God's Word is full of promises you can and should claim as your own. How often do you do that? Are you missing some blessings because you're not praying those great and precious promises? For example, in part one, I talked about the promise in James 1:5—if we ask for wisdom, God gives it to us generously. Have you been praying for wisdom? Remember, God's wisdom keeps you from making poor choices and bad decisions—and just think what a difference that could make. In Philippians 4:6-7 we read: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. This is a promise with a condition. Presenting your requests to God with thanksgiving—that's the condition. Here's the promise: the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. You're promised peace. Have you been peaceful lately or more stressed-out, discouraged, despondent, or unhappy? Maybe that's because you haven't presented your requests to God and claimed the peace that transcends all understanding. Here's an incredible promise from Isaiah 58:11: The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Have you ever prayed this Scripture into your life? When you don't know what to do, claim this promise that the Lord will guide you. When you're in a desert-like situation and everything seems dry and lifeless and you lack energy or motivation, claim the promise that the Lord will satisfy you even in a dry place. He will strengthen you—physically and spiritually. He promises to turn hard, dry places into gardens whose waters never fail—to give you hope and joy even in a tough place. It's a promise there for you, so take advantage of God's goodness. There are many more promises for you and biblical prayers you can pray for yourself and others. These are prayers we know are in God's will, and therefore we can claim the promise from 1 John 5:14: This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Presented by Julie Busteed I used to think there were seasons of waiting on God, but now I think there is always something I am waiting on from him. Maybe it's waiting for some direction in one area of my work or waiting for something to come to an end or waiting for the next big thing. But aren't we always waiting to hear from him? And since we are always in this “waiting room” of God's timing for some kind or another, then what is the purpose? What is the benefit? Yet the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him (Isaiah 30:18). We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you (Psalm 33:20-22). There's a blessing in the waiting room. There is hope. It's not always my favorite place to be, but I'm not as anxious there as I used to be. I've grown in my trust of God, that he has what's best in store for me, even if it seems difficult. I know I can trust him no matter what. And my goals and focus are ever more on my hope in him. Yes, you and I are living in the now and it's a fallen world. But if you are a Christ-follower, there is hope of eternal life with God. The more I get to know him, study his Word, read his Word, pray, and meet and talk with other Christ-followers, the more I can rest in his timing. Not that it's never frustrating or scary, but I know he will never leave me or forsake me. Do you have confidence in your relationship with him? If not, please, take some time right now to pray and ask for his help to get into his Word. He alone is our hope and salvation. He is trustworthy and loving. He waits to be gracious to you. If you are struggling with waiting on God and having patience to endure in a situation, then think about this. God's silence doesn't mean that he doesn't care. He hears you and knows you. But maybe he has something better in mind for you. Or maybe the answer is no or not right now. But you are building your faith muscle as you wait and trust in him. I think Oswald Chambers says it beautifully: Some prayers are followed by silence (from God) because they are wrong, others because they are bigger than one can understand. It will be a wonderful moment for some of us when we stand before God and find that the prayers we clamored for in early days and imagined were never answered, have been answered in the most amazing way, and that God's silence has been the sign of the answer.[1] --- [1]  Chambers, Oswald, Oswald Chambers Daily Thoughts for Disciples, Christian Literature Crusade, 1976, p. 75.

Presented by Julie Busteed What happens when you are not patient and run ahead of God and take things into your own hands? That's exactly what happened to King Saul. You can read the entire account in I Samuel 13:1-15 but let me summarize. Saul is the newly appointed first King over Israel. They've had some success at defeating their enemies. I guess King Saul is feeling pretty good about this. Then the Philistines—the enemy—assemble to fight and they have many chariots and soldiers as numerous as the sand on the seashore. When the Israelites see this, they are quaking with fear. Saul waits seven days for Samuel (the prophet and priest) to arrive to offer the burnt offering. He was following Samuel's instructions (1 Samuel 10:8). But something happens—we're not told what—but Samuel doesn't show up in seven days. He's late. And Saul seeing that his soldiers are frightened, seeing the strength and number of his enemies, takes things into his own hands and he offers the sacrifice to God (which by the way was against the law—only priests were to do this). And then guess who shows up at this exact moment—Samuel! And he asks Saul what's going on, and Saul explains: “When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering” (1 Samuel 13:11-12). Oh wow. Did you hear that? Saul's saying things weren't going as he thought they should. He was looking at his circumstances around him and becoming fearful and not looking at God. And so, he took things into his own hands—he felt “compelled” to ask for the Lord's help in this way. And Samuel then tells him that he's done a foolish thing. That he's not kept the command that the Lord God gave him and as a result the Kingdom of Israel will be taken away from him, it will not endure. I do feel for Saul sometimes. It sounds like he convinced himself he was doing the right thing in rushing ahead of God and offering these sacrifices and seeking the Lord's favor instead of waiting for Samuel. But it was not the right thing. How many times have you been anxious, got tired of waiting for God and took things into your own hands which then resulted in more trouble? Maybe you are so desperate to get out of a job or a project that you'll do anything. I know. It's hard to wait. But it can be even more dangerous to not wait. To make poor decisions and suffer those consequences. You might not have your kingdom taken away from you like Saul, but it could still end in difficulty. As the Psalmist says, wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:14 ESV)!

Presented by Julie Busteed Waiting on the Lord is hard. But he gives us promises that we can hang on to during this time. But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31 ESV). Years ago, I was in a job that was not my favorite. There were many things that were fine, but the work itself was not really what I wanted to do. I felt like it wasn't a good fit for me, and it was work that didn't come naturally to me. For a long time, I complained about this. I would complain in my heart, to God, to my husband and search for ways to move on to something else. But the opportunity didn't present itself. Finally, I remember crying—literally—to God about this and just pouring my heart out to him. And it's not that I heard a loud voice, it was a soft gentle reminder that he is sovereign and to trust and wait on him. Instead of trying to change my circumstance, I began to change my thoughts—my mindset about the situation. It's not that I became content and happy overnight, but I tried to focus on the things that were good. I also gave myself little rewards or encouragements for doing some of the hard things of the work. And by that, I mean taking a quick walk, getting another cup of coffee and so on. And slowly, I wasn't as miserable! I think I complained less! Changing my attitude made a huge difference. My situation didn't change right away either. I would still have some valleys of despair, but they became fewer and far between. Then, when an opportunity did arise, I was almost surprised! I was now actually more prepared for this next step having stayed where I was. And I wasn't leaving my employer on bad terms—not burning any bridges. I know there are many different situations and some more difficult than what I was experiencing. And for your own mental and physical health you may need to take different actions. But I tell you this, for a couple of reasons. First take some time to reflect and think on the situation as objectively as possible. Are there some good and positive things about where you are right now? Then pour your heart out to God. Continue to seek him. Realize he has purpose in the waiting. And that nothing is ever wasted.

Presented by Julie Busteed When you're in God's waiting room do you ever think that if you just pray more or fast more or do something more that this will get God's attention? That there is something you need to do. I used to think maybe I'm not in his will, doing something wrong, or not being persistent enough—which is why he's not hearing or answering my prayer. Are you familiar with the parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8)[1]? Jesus begins by telling his disciples this parable to show them they should always pray and not give up. And to me that meant relentlessly praying, even begging, and almost trying to bend his will to my prayers. But I don't think that's the point! Briefly the parable goes like this: He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.' “For some time he refused. But finally, he said to himself, ‘Even though I don't fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually come and attack me'” (Luke 18:2-5)! Here is an unjust corrupt judge who doesn't fear God or care about people. And a widow, who particularly in those days is quite vulnerable. She has no provider or protector. And she's asking for justice. Repeatedly. But the judge refuses. Finally, she wears him down because she keeps “bothering” him and he gives her justice. And to me this meant I need to wear God down with my prayer requests in order for him to answer. I thought that I needed to continually bug him to get his attention. That somehow the accumulation of my prayers would make a difference. I don't think this is what Jesus was talking about. That would be equating God to this unjust judge, and he is not at all like that. He cares about us, he cares about justice, it's his unchangeable character. And I am not like the nameless widow. God knows me, loves me, provides for and protects me. Jesus tells us why he told this parable in verse 1 to show that we should always pray and not give up. And that can be hard to do when you're in that waiting room. When you and I persist in praying, in talking to God, our hearts become more inclined to his. It's a life of prayer that we are called to—a life of continual conversation with God. And it's more about how our hearts and minds can be transformed to his. So yes, pray continually. And trust that in his perfect timing he will answer. As the Psalmist said: I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word, I hope (Psalm 130:5 ESV). --- [1] Dr. Kent Hughes, “Living in the ‘Not Yet'” Series: Luke, January 8, 2008, https://preachingtheword.com/av_item.php?avid=579

Presented by Julie Busteed Waiting is not my favorite thing! Whether it is waiting in a store line, waiting in traffic, waiting for a doctor's appointment, or waiting for the coffee maker to finish! The most challenging thing can be to wait on God to answer my prayer or give direction. Or waiting for a difficult situation to resolve, or a hard season of life to ease up. We are called to persevere. To continue to trust God and wait on him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him (Lamentations 3:25). When I read the account of Noah in Genesis 8—a familiar story to most of us—I am encouraged to trust God in the waiting. Noah obeyed God in building the ark and gathering all the animals. Scholars think the entire time he and his family were on the boat was about a year. After all the rain and flooding, Noah sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. But the dove returned and so he waited some more and sent the dove out again. Finally, the dove returns with an olive leaf. Now Noah could see the water was gone but he waited until God told him it was time to get out of the boat—till the ground was completely dry. It probably seemed like he could have left the boat earlier since he couldn't see any water. But he trusted, obeyed and waited. After being in that boat for a year, I imagine it had to be challenging! But he trusted God. There was purpose in the waiting. Another familiar story about waiting and trusting is raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11). Jesus and his disciples get word that his friend Lazarus is ill. And Jesus' response is to wait! He says to his disciples, Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him (John 11:14-15). What? How does that make any sense to the disciples! When they finally arrived, Lazarus had been dead and in the tomb for four days. And to everyone's amazement Jesus calls him to come out of the tomb. Now up to then Jesus had done many miraculous things—many healings, providing food, casting out demons. But here he publicly shows even more of his glory by raising Lazarus from the dead. If they had not waited, but gone to Lazarus right away, then it would have been just another healing. But by waiting—being patient—and even suffering as the sisters of Lazarus, Mary and Martha had done, they are given even a greater view of who Jesus is—his character and his love. Maybe that's where you are right now. Deep in the middle of a dark time. You don't have any hope. You look around at your circumstances and it seems bleak and hopeless. But maybe God is using this waiting time to draw you closer to him, so that you can trust him more deeply, and then be shown his glory more greatly.

We all know prayer is our lifeline to God, and we are encouraged to cast all our cares upon God, because he cares for us. We know God is intimately interested in our everyday lives, and he rejoices when we rejoice and mourns when we mourn. Jesus empathizes with all our weaknesses because he walked this earthly road like you, and I do. So, it is normal and wise for us to pray about the circumstances of our lives—to bring all our concerns to God in prayer. As the old hymn says: “Oh, what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.” But I want us to consider the content of our prayers. If all your prayers were answered, would it make a difference for eternity? That's the exact question my pastor posed, and I've been giving that a lot of thought. Do I pray primarily—not exclusively but primarily—about things that would make a difference for eternity if my prayers were answered? For example, how do you pray for your family and friends? Do you primarily pray for their spiritual condition? Do you pray for the believers to walk worthy of their call? Do you pray that they will use their gifts to glorify God and do the good works he planned for them to do? If they are not yet believers, do you pray mostly that God will do whatever it takes for them to see their need of salvation? That kind of praying is more important than their health, their financial problems, their success, even their happiness. Sure, we all want our family and friends to be happy, but maybe they need some tough times to bring them back to God. If all your prayers for your family and others were answered, would they maybe just have better grades at school, or better jobs, or more money, or nicer homes? Those are all quite nice, and we can pray about them. But more importantly, if all your prayers for your family and friends were answered, would they start to live more wholeheartedly for Jesus? I have a fairly large extended family; if my count is right, there are more than 90 of us counting down from my Mom and Dad, including children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their mates. Whew, that's a lot of people. I think of the heritage handed to us by my parents—simple people living lives of integrity and honor to Jesus, a godly heritage as the Bible describes it. And as I pray for all of this crew, my first and most consuming prayer is that they will all walk worthy of the teaching and guidance they have received, that they will pass on to their children the lessons passed on to them, the truth handed to them. More than anything else, I pray for their spiritual welfare. That matters for eternity. I encourage you to examine the content of your prayers for your family. Pray for their physical needs, their success, their health—yes, of course. But make it your habit to pray mostly and primarily for their spiritual condition, for their relationship with God through Jesus Christ. How do you pray for the world—this huge world we live in? In the Bible, God's people are urged to engage with the world around them and not to withdraw from it. That means we should always pray for things and people outside of our own personal circle. Recently, I intentionally reviewed the content of my prayers, and I realized that I often pray for health issues for people I know; I pray for increased financial support for this ministry; I pray for pastors at my church and ministry there. But it became rather clear that my prayers were often limited to my world. How about you? Review what you've prayed for the past few days. Have your prayers primarily revolved around you and people you know? God wants us to pray about the world around us. How do you do that? Well, first you become educated and aware of what's happening outside your world. A few years ago, along with a coworker in my church, I became aware for the first time of the scourge of sex trafficking in our country and our city.

The question today is: How can you become a God-confident woman or man? First, you must continue to grow in your knowledge of Jesus and the Word by making them a daily priority in your life. There's no “secret sauce” here. It is back to the basics of saturating your life with the truth that comes only from God's Word. This is written Word—the Bible—and the Word made flesh, dwelling among us—Jesus Christ. As you continue to know God better, you build spiritual muscles which results in God-confidence. Then, most likely, God will give you an opportunity to do something that will be too big and too hard for you to do. Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone and follow the Lord, even if you are a bit fearful? I find when God calls me to serve in a new way, I'm always in over my head. But he who calls us to a new service gives us what we need. That's what we call walking by faith not by sight. What are your gifts and abilities you have not yet used in serving the Lord? Find ways to use them. He didn't gift you just so you could get a good job and earn more money. He wants to you to serve others. Never compare yourself to others. You don't have to do what someone else does or measure up to someone else's expectations. But you will need to step out on faith and follow God's leading. Then you will be confident of this: ...that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). You will be living in God-confidence, and it will be amazing. It will be tiring, yes, and not always easy but always fruitful and satisfying. And the joy of the Lord will be your strength.

What is hindering you from having God-confidence? Being confident in yourself is very risky because pretty soon that self will let you down. But being confident in God—who he is and how he sees you—is a firm foundation that holds up no matter what. What is keeping you from having this God-confidence? Could it be a sin you haven't confessed and forsaken? Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1). Do you give up too easily and too quickly? Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him (James 1:12). Is your past imprisoning you? Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14). Are you afraid to fail? For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). Has the enemy of your soul succeeded in making you feel unworthy, or keeping you burdened with sins which God forgave? I want to encourage you today to claim your right—your inheritance—as God's son or daughter. You have God's Spirit, and His Spirit makes it possible for you to be God-confident. His confidence is powerful, loving, and self-disciplined. Are you “taking advantage” of what is yours through God's Spirit? Are you aware of the Spirit's presence and the power you have as a result?

As Christ-followers, the Bible says we should put no confidence in the flesh. It's pretty undependable. But you can and should be totally God-confident. Confident that you have become a child of God through faith in Jesus Christ and confident that God has good plans for you—good works for you to do which he determined before you were born. There's nothing to be gained by being constrained and handcuffed by a lack of confidence. James put it this way: But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do (James 1:6 – 8). James says if you're blown and tossed—like happens with lack of confidence—you are unstable in all your ways. You need confidence to be what God created you to be and do the good works he put you here to do. And the confidence you need is not self-confidence, but rather it is God-confidence. What is hindering you from this God-confident life? Many times, it is the constant thought you simply are not good enough. Thoughts like: you've sinned too much; your past is too bad; you can never be worthy. You know where that comes from, don't you? Satan will tell you lies about yourself, like thinking you're not good enough. But remember this wonderful truth. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Whether condemnation is coming at you from others or yourself, you are believing a lie because God never deals with us through condemnation—making us feel unworthy and without hope. The Holy Spirit who indwells every believer will convict you of sin for the purpose of helping you repent and get rid of the drag on your spiritual life. But God never deals with you through condemnation; that's what the enemy tries to do. When the enemy is successful at destroying your God-confidence by his sneaky and sinister words of condemnation, he is keeping you from the joy of the Lord, which is your strength, and from the abundant life Jesus died to give you. You're missing all the good stuff! But there's hope in Jesus!

The second tool you need to be God-confident is to know how God sees you. God wants you to be confident in how he has gifted you and how he wants to use you. Let's begin by affirming what God has said about us: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Psalm 139:13-14). I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand (John 10:28). Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”? Or “I am safe in the hand of Jesus—no one can snatch me out of his hand”? As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love (John 15:9). Have you ever declared: “I am the one Jesus loves”? God-confidence depends on being totally confident of who you are in Christ. But it doesn't come in one swoop—it comes through getting to know God better and better. You have been gifted to do something good for the Kingdom. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them (Ephesians 2:10 NASB). When you're willing to take the next steps where God is leading you, to do those good works he prepared for you, then you can be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). That is God-confidence!

Here's an interesting question: Do you think God wants you to face your world, your life, with unwavering confidence? Is there anything to be gained by lacking confidence? What message does it send if you and I, as Christ-followers, appear uncertain or doubtful? Does that bring glory to God? On the other hand, does it bring glory to God if you have the kind of self-confidence the world says is necessary? This confidence is proud and self-focused, self-assured and braggadocious? It brings glory to yourself. We certainly need confidence. But putting a lot of it in yourself is risky, because it's undependable. You can feel confident one day or about one thing, and then the rug gets pulled out from under you the next day and there goes that self-confidence out the door. It's God-confidence you and I need, not self-confidence. His confidence makes a difference in the way we live and our ability to do what God put us here to do. And it will look different on each of us. However, there are certain things we must be confident of to face life with God-confidence. I want to share some necessary tools for the God-confident woman. The first tool you need is to be totally confident of your faith. Confident in your relationship to God through Jesus I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day (2 Timothy 1:12b). Confident in God's sovereignty For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth (Psalm 71:5). Confident in God's love For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39). Confident God will never leave you or forsake you God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5b). Confident that God answers prayer This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us (1 John 5:14). Now, if you are confident of those things, then you have the foundation for God-confidence. That's where it begins.

Holding on, hanging in there, being patient, sitting in the waiting room—none of those come easy for me. And being put on hold on the telephone is particularly annoying—don't you agree? So, today more than anything else I'm talking to me, and you can listen in, as I remind myself again that I have to hold on when I'm on hold. When you think of someone in the Bible who was on hold, you most likely think of Job. Talk about holding on when he was on hold, nobody has ever endured more than Job did while waiting for God to move. In Job 6:8, 11-12 he says: Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for. What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? Do I have the strength of stone? Is my flesh bronze? And in chapter seven, he goes on to say: My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle, and they come to an end without hope. Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath; my eyes will never see happiness again (Job 7:6-7). His words may express your heart today. Like Job, you may be saying or thinking: Why hasn't God granted my request? I don't have the strength to keep holding on. After all, I'm just flesh! I've lost hope, and I'll never be happy again. For most of us, this feeling of hopelessness doesn't show itself outwardly so much as it corrupts us on the inside. It takes the form of what Thoreau called “quiet desperation.” You keep going, saying the right things, and maintaining a semblance of normalcy, but on the inside you've truly given up. You're going through the motions of a marriage or a job; you're making people think everything's okay with your children or parents, but in reality, you're emotionally detached; there's no more fight left in you, and you're almost at the place where you really don't care. I want to share three simple truths that will help you hold on when you're on hold. And the first one is: Trust in God's Sovereignty. That simply means you continue to believe that nothing happens in God's universe outside of God's influence and authority. And you believe the same is true in your life. God is sovereign in your life. Therefore, you can trust that in his sovereignty, he will make all things work together for your good, even the evil and wrongs of others and the cruelty of this sin-infested world. Believe me, I know it's not easy to trust when you're on hold, especially when it looks like your world is crumbling around you. I think of a friend who went through years of pain and suffering from an unfaithful husband and a broken marriage, death of two children, another child who walked away from God, and other significant losses. Honestly, she was a Job-story for today, and I often wondered how she made it through. Obviously, all those things left deep scars and hurt, but she turned it into opportunity for her to minister to others. She completed a biblical counseling degree, and now she has a voice to help others who are “on hold” because she has walked deep, dark roads. In God's sovereignty and as only God can do, he turned her sorrow into dancing and has given her a broader, more effective ministry as a result. So, if you can put your trust in God's sovereignty today, regardless of your feelings, and simply repeat that you believe he is still in control, that is step one in holding on while you're on hold. Step two is to Trust in God's Timing. Listen to these verses from Psalm 37:5-7: Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. God's timing often seems so inappropriate to us. What possible good can come from waiting any longer? That's how we see it. I can look back on my life and see how the waiting periods of my life were there for a purpose—a purpo...

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Do you view patience as passive? Patience is anything but passive behavior. In fact, patience is powerful. Remembering God's power, his patience, and the fact that we are made in his image can help us rethink this attribute. In our society, patience often is viewed as quiet, timid, and, as I stated a moment ago, passive. We get this sense of waiting—somewhat of a pause. This waiting, patience, and pause can give us the space we need to advance in ways that remain unseen by others until the moment of action. Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone (Proverbs 25:15). Think about the art of persuasion. We hear about it in business a lot. Persuasion is defined as the action or fact of persuading someone or of being persuaded to do or believe something through reason or argument. Persuasion isn't fast. It requires patience. Patience to learn about someone's objections to what you are trying to get them to believe, patience to prepare for how you want to present your idea or solution, patience to get the other party to even be willing to meet with you, patience to meet on more than one occasion. I could go on with this list. Resisting the urge to impatiently blurt out what you want, why your way is better, why your company should win a bid, or why what you want or need is imperative. It can mean the difference between ultimately winning and losing. Patience listens. Patience walks away and thinks. Patience is not argumentative. In Proverbs 25:15, we read that a soft tongue will break a bone. To me, this feels like well thought out, patient words. Words that are planned in advance and not hasty and harsh. Words that are considerate of the other person's point of view. Ultimately, this soft approach can break someone who has a long-held point of view. Our aim with using the fruit of the Spirit of patience with persuasion and a soft tongue should be more about sharing the gospel than it is about winning in our work, business, or career. The biggest win for us is to see someone know the saving power of Jesus!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Do you have a colleague who gets on your last nerve? Do situations in the workplace just get to you sometimes? How we display patience at work with others reflects our faith. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will (2 Timothy 2:24-26). We surely cannot accomplish this with impatience! Think of a simple example of showing patience during a meeting. You wait and wait to make a statement. In fact, you think it is a very important point. Your colleague seems to be droning on and on about a topic with which you wholly disagree. In your impatience, do you end up so annoyed that you quarrel over the relevance of what they are saying, or do you wait patiently for them to speak, carefully listening so that you can perhaps patiently present a counter point? I think we have all been in this scenario. Your patience in a situation like this can help you reflect more respect and help others to listen to you! Are you perhaps charged with training new hires as they start with your company? Maybe these new hires are even new to the workforce. Sometimes they just don't catch on as quickly as you would like. Are you impatient and quick to judge them as not able to do the job at hand, or do you patiently teach them to do the job well? Ultimately, 2 Timothy 2:24-26 reminds us our opponents—in our case those that we work with—need to be instructed and dealt with gently by us. The instruction to lovingly display our patience in all circumstances, can be a good way to live out what I often call Faith at Work 1.0—showing up differently so that someone asks why. But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). Showing up with patience at work when people frustrate you can be just one way you start a conversation about Jesus with them. Don't waste this opportunity with impatience! I am praying for you to increase your patience at work today!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Many things can happen when we are impatient! Impatience brews increasingly when there is a difference between the pre-conceived or set amount of time we have in mind for something to happen and when it actually occurs. The fact remains we are merely human, and God is God alone. I sometimes wonder if the creation of the measurement of time is something God has used to demonstrate this. If we had no concept of time, we could not grow in learning to be more patient! One of the ways that a lack of patience can often show up is jealousy. We see something we want or are aspiring to happen for someone else, and we become jealous. This can cause us to act impulsively in our own will, often to results we then regret. Sarah, then Sarai, was impatient. Her husband Abram was the promised Father of Israel, yet she failed to conceive and bare a son for him. In her impatience, Sarai enrolled their Egyptian slave, Hagar to know her husband. The result was Hagar's pregnancy and the birth of Ishmael. Sarai became jealous of Hagar and treated her poorly. God then renewed his covenant with Abram, and called him Abraham and Sarai, Sarah. Sarah gave birth to Isaac, but with continued jealousy from Sarah, Hagar and Ishmael were sent away. You can read more about this in Genesis chapters 15-18. Sometimes our haste to see something come to pass can make us jealous of someone else we see in the circumstance we want. Have you been searching for a new job? Maybe it is taking longer than you expected, so you take a job because you need to work. A friend suddenly lands their dream role, and they weren't even looking! In your impatience, how do you respond to this friend? Are you loving? Are you jealous? How can you lovingly show up and trust that God will send the perfect job for you, in his timing. Acting out of impatience can cause us to make hasty choices that can lead to jealous feelings.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen We love it when things happen quickly! Wouldn't it be great if the dream that came to your mind could just—poof—happen tomorrow? I admit, the thought of a good vision suddenly happening muses in my mind. Culturally, this is sometimes referred to as manifesting something. Basically, if you think about it enough and envision it as done, then it will be so. You and I know only God can perform a mighty miracle like this, and more often than not, he prefers to use the long game of endurance to help us build that one fruit of the Spirit we are talking about this month—patience. The more I thought about enduring in patience, I realized it is part of how God created us in his image. About 4,000 years passed from the fall in Genesis to Jesus in the Gospels. During this time, God endured in patience while his people fell in and out of obedience. Our God is a super patient God. As his people, we really need to work on this enduring part! Let's consider the story of Moses and Mt. Sinai. This is the time he had to go up to meet with God to receive the commandments for the people of Israel. First, he had to cut two giant tablets of stone. While we don't know how long this took, I can imagine this took patience in the form of endurance. Next, he went up for 40 days in the presence of the Lord. The Lord himself inscribed those stone tablets with the 10 Commandments for his people. During those 40 days, the people of Israel did not endure patiently! In Exodus 32 you can read more about the Israelite's impatience and their demands on Moses's brother Aaron to create something for them to worship—the golden calf. They were so impatient in waiting on God, they used their worldly possessions of gold and jewelry to create this golden calf. Moses comes down from Mt Sinai to this sight and drops the tablets—breaking them into pieces. The word of God—his own penmanship—shattered! After the destruction of this man-made idol, Moses again cuts two more tablets and heads back up Mt. Sinai for another 40 days. God must redo the tablets for Moses to take back down to the remaining people of Israel. How often are you trading the endurance God may be calling you to for something you are making for yourself? Are you leaning into what culture tells you to do? Going it alone—creating your own destiny? We are created in God's image, and God is very patient! He wants us to be patient with him! God's timing is always perfect!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). You have likely heard this verse many times, but what does John 3:16 have to do with patience? When I think about my own salvation, I would say God was patient! In fact, he waited 30 years for me to realize Jesus was my savior! Patience first comes to us from God himself, reflected in the love he has for us at the cross. In our worldview, this seems slow, but not in God's standard. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). God is just on time—his time. Let's consider love again, but in the context of the greatest commandment. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). Now, how is love described? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 leads with love is patient and kind. Love is patient! Who should we have patience with? First, we need to have patience with God! We will explore this more, but this looks like trusting him when we are in the valleys of life and when we feel like our prayers are going unanswered. It looks like endurance during trials and perseverance when we just want something to happen already! Next, we need to have patience with our neighbors, which is basically everyone! Our neighbors are our bosses, colleagues, and subordinates. They are vendor partners and partners within the communities our businesses are part of. It is even the community you are building on a social platform like LinkedIn or members of a business association related to your profession. You have a lot of neighbors to love! Rather, you have a lot of neighbors with whom to be patient!

Do you know what is probably the most difficult command of God's for me to obey? It's: Stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes (1 Samuel 12:16). Come on, Lord; why "stand still"? Why not "get busy and do this and that and then you'll see the great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes"? That would be so much easier for me. As I mentioned, I don't like standing still. I hate standing still. I love movement. I love busyness. I love activity. I love to-do lists. Let's go; let's do; let's make things happen. You can do it. Just keep trying. Keep on keepin' on. Those words are music to my ears, but not "stand still.” Why is it so hard for us to take our hands off and let God run the show? Well, to answer that question for myself, I would say it's hard for me to stand still because I'm a controller. I want to be in charge. That's my personality, and I'm much more comfortable when I'm running things than when I'm having to take orders. Maybe you can relate to that. I'd rather drive than be a passenger; I'd rather give a presentation than listen to one; I'd rather lead than follow. So, I constantly struggle to take control of any situation I'm in. Therefore, that passage from 1 Samuel 12:16—stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes—is hard for me to do. When you dig a little deeper under the need to control, you discover that you think you can do it better than anybody else, and you don't trust others as much as you do yourself. Ouch! There's a lot of pride and sinfulness tucked in that controlling spirit, isn't there? That's hard to take, but it's part of the truth we must face—or at least I've had to face it about myself. At one point in my life when I was going through a particularly difficult period of "standing still," I would get frustrated and start to take action. And each time I took the controls back in my own hands, I heard the quiet voice of God in my mind saying to me, quite simply, "Can't you trust me?” That's what it takes to stand still—trust. And when you and I are willing to take our hands off, give up the control, and stand still, we are saying to Jesus, "I trust you. You're smarter than me. You can run this show better than I can.” And when we stand still and demonstrate our faith in him, he is pleased. Standing still also is hard for me because I'm not a patient person. I want things to happen now. I hate waiting. My mind tells me, "If you're standing still, nothing is happening.” But God's Word says: Stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes. I think one reason I am not a patient person is because I hate loose ends. I want to complete the loop and make sure every package has a neat bow on it before moving on. But so often, life is full of loose ends, and we have to stand still and let them be. Paul wrote that patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit, one of the types of evidence that God's Spirit is in control of your life. Well, I can sure tell you that when I am patient, it is not me. It is God's Spirit in me. I've learned to pray a lot about being patient, and believe it or not, I am more patient today than I used to be. God is helping me learn how to stand still and let him do it! Here are some little secrets that are helping me learn how to stand still. When you are emotional about any situation, it is not the time to act. Stand still until your emotions have calmed down and you can be certain that you're thinking straight. Just today I dashed off an email to tell someone how to do something more effectively—or so I thought—but thankfully before I hit the send button, God's Spirit just urged me not to send it. So, for once I didn't let the emotional reaction of the moment cause me to do something without thought or prayer. Often, we really want to do something when we're upset or angry, because our emotions are at such a high.

I am giving you five biblical principles, which can help you when you're dealing with difficult people, particularly on your job. Today, our fifth and final principle is: The “Speak Kind Words” Principle Here are two verses from Proverbs that tell us how important it is to guard our words carefully and speak words of kindness. Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up (Proverbs 12:25). Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a ruling rightly given (Proverbs 25:11). Rightly given words are those which are strategically selected and gently delivered. They fit the situation perfectly. With these words, you can change an ugly environment or situation into something beautiful—like apples of gold in settings of silver. For example, suppose you had to confront a person on your job who is repeatedly late to work. Which of these two approaches would be rightly given words? “I want to point out something that is bothering me. You've been late to work a lot, and it just drives me crazy. I want every person here on time every day. You're paid to be here on time, so I'll be expecting you to be on time every day from now on. I hope that is clear.” “I've noticed you have some difficulty getting to work on time. Perhaps there is some good reason for that; if so, you need to tell me so we can work it out by cutting your lunch time or having you work later each day. Is there some reason that makes it difficult for you to be here on time each day?” The first example would cause a defensive, angry reaction and may or may not solve the problem, while the second approach shows some concern for the individual while at the same time making it clear tardiness cannot be tolerated. Those are rightly given words. Often our choice of words makes all the difference in how responsive the other person will be.

Have you ever worked with someone who was arrogant? A person who tried to tell you what to do and had delusions of grandeur? I'm examining some of the difficult relationships you may encounter on your job. As I've noted, one of the many purposes of difficult relationships is to teach us needed and important lessons. And humility is certainly an important lesson we can learn through an arrogant coworker. The “Humble Yourself” Principle Jesus says: For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted (Luke 14:11). Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time (1 Peter 5:6). Have you learned to look for opportunities to humble yourself? Now, I'm not talking about false humility, such as running yourself down, refusing to accept a compliment, or walking around with your head hung low. Most every day we will find opportunities to humble ourselves. For example, if you work with a bossy coworker, it is humbling to keep your mouth shut and not say something back to him or her. It is humbling to take his or her suggestion. I began asking God to show me when and how to humble myself. It's a good prayer and I recommend it to you. I found that not insisting on my rights was a key way to humble myself; not talking about myself or my accomplishments was another. Not needing to have the last word is another good way to humble yourself. But don't lose sight of the promises given to us when we truly are willing to humble ourselves. We will be exalted. Notice Peter said we will be lifted up in due time. That's probably not as soon as you would like it to be, but it will be in the right time after you have learned the valuable lesson of humbling yourself. If you have a difficult person to deal with today, one who is arrogant or treats you in a condescending way, ask God to show you when you should humble yourself with this person. You'll be amazed at the blessing it will bring to you when you practice this principle. And humbling yourself is much easier than having to be humbled!

Do you have any enemies? Enemies are people who make your life uncomfortable, difficult. They may cause unnecessary hurt or discord, and they are generally at odds with you in many ways, intentional or unintentional. The "Love Your Enemy" Principle Here is a principle from Matthew 5 that gives us direct guidance on dealing with a relationship “enemy.” You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:43-45). What a revolutionary teaching this was. Never before had anyone taught such convoluted doctrine. It goes against all our instincts to love our enemies. It demands an attitude foreign to our nature. It requires self-denial, which seems imminently unfair and all but impossible. That's the way it often is with biblical principles. They go against our grain, but if you have some relationship “enemies,” God will empower you to love them if you are willing. Remember, loving doesn't necessarily mean liking. This kind of love is an action, a set of our will, a decision to act in loving ways, even though our feelings may not be warm and fuzzy. If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you (Proverbs 25:21-22). In these two passages from Matthew and Proverbs we learn three things about how we are to treat our enemies: We are to love our enemies. We are to pray for our enemies. We are to give our enemies what they need. We aren't promised our enemies will change or appreciate our loving attitude. But when we respond in loving ways toward people who make our lives difficult, we keep ourselves from sinning and we demonstrate the love of Jesus in very real ways.

I am looking at some biblical principles which give us guidance when we have to deal with a difficult relationship—like a coworker who is lazy, uncooperative, negative, to name a few. The "Speak-the-Truth-in-Love" Principle Ephesians 4:14-15 gives us a very important principle: Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:14-15). According to the Apostle Paul, speaking the truth to people is sometimes a way we can help them grow. Of course, the operative word here is “love.” Have you ever spoken the truth in haste or anger, hatred or vindictiveness, or with malice or in defensiveness? The truth can often be very painful. When we speak it in anything but love, we can open a door that never should be opened and cause a rift in a relationship that may never be healed. Which would describe you best? Would you say you have difficulty speaking the truth in love even when you know you should? If so, is that because you hate confrontations or fear rejection or repercussions? Or perhaps you feel guilty since you know you're not perfect either. Or would you say you speak the truth too freely and often without compassion or forethought? In practicing this biblical principle of speaking the truth in love, you need to exercise extreme caution. Words are very powerful and need to bathed in prayer. Your motivation must be carefully scrutinized to make certain you are speaking the truth in love for the right reason at the right time. However, remember speaking the truth in love is a biblical principle, and when God puts you in a position to speak that, failing to do so is to rob the person of an opportunity to become more mature.

Relationships are the sandpaper of life. Isn't it often true the relationship struggles of your life are used by God to refine and teach and help you grow to maturity? I want to examine five biblical principles we need to know when we are experiencing relationship difficulties on our jobs. The Extra-Mile Principle We are called to have an extra-mile attitude in our relationships with others. Matthew 5:38-41 is pretty clear about this. You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles (Matthew 5:38 – 41). What does it mean to have an extra-mile attitude, to turn the other cheek, to give your cloak as well as your shirt? Jesus was trying to teach us: to endure unfair treatment at times, without griping or complaining. to refrain from saying some of the things we would like to say to that difficult coworker. to do some work we don't have to or want to do. to put in extra time and effort to help a difficult person. Surely that is all a part of this extra mile principle. And it would lead you to endure at times and to do more than perhaps even your employer would require or expect of you. But there is also a balance we must find. I believe Jesus gave us boundaries with this extra mile principle, and he is not teaching us to endure any unacceptable behavior or habits forever and never say anything negative to anyone. Do you go the extra mile with difficult relationships? When we are willing to, it can often open a door for a miracle.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Patience is often framed as an outward expression. We are told to have patience with situations and people, timing and circumstances. How can we reflect patience in very specific ways to help ourselves become even more impactful at work and in life overall? And how will this impact ultimately help us fulfill our true vocation—to shine the light of Christ in this world? Those of us in Christ Jesus are “the salt of the earth, and the light of the world meant for people to see our good works and give glory to our Father in heaven.” This is a paraphrase of Matthew 5:13-15. Working on our saltiness and our light calls us to consider our own behaviors and habits with patience. After all, how can we seek to maintain our salt and light if we are impatient? What is impatience? Defined as the tendency to be impatient; irritability or restlessness, it feels agitated and wrought with anxiety and fear. Impatience feels consuming to me. Something that can keep me up at night thinking about all of the ways I need to solve for a situation or maybe how something has gone terribly wrong. It certainly doesn't feel at all settled. And it certainly doesn't feel like seeking the Lord. Our God is all about patience with us. I recently shared that my own salvation happened when I was 30. God worked and worked for 30 years until that moment. He used my story to draw my grandmother to himself when she was 80! Yes 80. She is now 94 and recently shared her musings with me about how our bodies will be transformed in heaven. We both said, “Thank God!” You see, I have every reason to believe in the long game. We need to consider God's timing on matters and his lavish patience as we decide to hone our own patience for increasing our own salt and light! God waited 4,000 years between the fall of Adam in Genesis to Jesus' birth in Matthew. We learn in 2 Peter 3:8 that: with the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day. When it comes to considering patience, we need to reflect on how finite our human view on time is. It is a clock with seconds, minutes, and hours and a calendar of days. But this is clearly not God's view on time. This 4,000-year gap between the fall and our Savior did not feel long to God at all. With this view of time in mind, let's consider our own patience in the form of habits. There are so many books and articles about habit formation. A simple Google search will tell you that building a habit can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days with the average being 66 days. I loved reading the article “How Long Does it Really Take to Form a Habit?” on scientificamerican.com which stated that the 21 days to habit formation is a myth. To me this makes sense considering God's timing and in his creation of you and me as individuals made in his image. In the eyes of God, our habit formation should be dependent on him. Thinking about anything we want to accomplish should start with developing a healthy patience and reliance on God alone. Another term used for biblical patience is long-suffering. Having a long view of habit formation of any kind will surely give us endurance to not cave into the pressures of the moment, to give into impatience in reaching our desired results! Be encouraged his mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). Every morning, we are blessed with a new day to start forming good habits——we just need patience and to know God is patient with us! Having God-centered habits can help us maintain patience! And patience is powerful. Patience brings presence and perseverance. It can help you rise! Let's talk about five habits for maintaining patience. First, wait on the Lord. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes (Psalm 37:7). When we see others around us perhaps making more progress than we feel we have been making,

Proverbs 31 says the virtuous woman is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. What does it mean to be able to laugh at the days to come? As I was re-reading that beautiful chapter in Proverbs, I thought about that phrase—laughing at the days to come. For me, it means as I look at my personal future, I know regardless of what happens to me, my future destiny is secure. I've got eternal life right now because I've accepted Jesus as my Savior. Regardless of what the days hold, I'm not beset with the fears and worries of those who don't know Jesus as their Savior. I can laugh at the days to come. It means I can face an uncertain financial future and laugh at it. I can't be certain I'll have an income next week or next month or next year. But because my safety net is Jesus Christ, I can laugh at that prospect and say, "Never fear! God has promised to supply all my needs. Laugh at the days to come!" As I look at the trouble in the Middle East and see how tenuous things are in this world, I realize it would only take a small spark to put us on the brink of another awful war. And while that certainly isn't a laughing matter, I can laugh at the fear and the oppression of those thoughts, because my God is sovereign, and nothing is going to happen in this world without his purpose being served. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7). You may be facing many uncertainties, and you just don't know what the future will bring. But if your trust is in God—not in people, not in money, not in possessions or position—then you can laugh at the days ahead. Paul put it another way: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6). A great way to avoid anxiety and worry is to laugh at the days ahead. Those days are in God's hands, and he is perfectly capable of taking you through whatever they may hold.

We read in James 4 and again in 1 Peter 5 that we are to humble ourselves. I'm examining four things we need to learn, and here's another one: We need to learn humility—how to humble ourselves. How do we do that? In Numbers 12:3 Moses is identified as a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth. What was it that made Moses so humble? After all, he had great power and wealth, and the highest position in his country. He had spiritual privileges—talking with God face-to-face—and he performed incredible miracles. How could he be so humble? Here are some things that contributed to Moses' humility. First, he spent forty years in the desert because of a failure on his part. Humbling ourselves means we have to learn that in our own strength, we are failures. For ten years of my life, I thought I could make things happen, as we say. I had to learn that in myself I can do nothing. Remember Moses had a speech impediment. He stuttered and couldn't give a speech, so Aaron became his spokesperson. That had to be humbling for a great leader. It was a constant reminder to him that his talents and skills were not sufficient. The Apostle Paul had that same experience—a thorn in the flesh, he called it—which God did not remove because he knew Paul would need that thorn to remind him of where his strength came from, to keep him humble. I encourage you to learn to be thankful for the impediments you have, the things missing in your life, which contribute to helping you learn humility. It's extremely important we be truly humble, and, like Moses, we need reminders of our needs so we can humble ourselves. One reason Moses was able to be humble is the highest priority of his life was to know God. Moses knew God better than any other person on earth. He spent lots of time alone with God. When we start to focus our lives on knowing God, humility is an inevitable result. You learn true humility as you learn who you are in comparison to who God is. In Philippians 2, we read Jesus humbled himself to become a servant. Servanthood is one revealing sign of true humility. I remember someone complaining about the fact that when he came to church, no one gave him any attention, and he couldn't form any real strong relationships because people weren't friendly. And I thought to myself: A servant doesn't react that way. A servant doesn't come into a group to see what that group can do for him or her but rather, comes ready to do something for others. We learn to humble ourselves as we learn to serve others.

Do you give up too easily? Do you keep wishing for the easy way out of whatever you are facing? It's likely you, like me, could use a lesson or two in how to persevere. Lots of people make good starts; not too many complete the course. We read in Hebrews 12:1 we should run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Note each of us has a unique race marked out. Your race will be different from mine, but the important thing for both of us is to hang in there and cross the finish line. The night is darkest just before the dawn, and all too often we quit the race when it gets dark and bleak, without realizing the finish line is just around the corner. In James 1, we read: Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:4). Without perseverance we won't reach spiritual maturity. That's why we need to learn it. How often do you feel like quitting? I can remember saying to the Lord, "What use is it, Lord? I don't see light at the end of the tunnel, and I'd just like to walk away from the whole thing.” If you have those kinds of thoughts, you might as well talk to God about them. He knows what you're thinking anyway. But God reminded me I'm called to be faithful, to persevere, and I had to learn it all over again. Don't wander away from the path but forge steadily onward. On the right path the limping foot recovers strength and does not collapse (Hebrews 12:13). Therefore, we need to make certain we're on the right path and then stay on it regardless. Even if you're just limping along, don't stop. As we hang in there, our limps are healed, and we're able to cross the finish line. How often do we quit as soon as we develop a limp? We failed, we weren't able to accomplish something we had planned, the resources we were counting on didn't come through, things didn't go as smoothly as we hoped. We got a "hitch in our get-along", and that ended the race for us. But the Bible says keep going on the right path even with your limp. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful (1 Corinthians 4:2). Proving faithful is perseverance, and we can learn to be faithful and to persevere. I'll take a faithful person any day over one with bigger talents or gifts who isn't willing to hang in and get the job done—to stick with it through thick and thin times.