Broadcasts – Christian Working Woman

Are you under the impression that the women in the Bible weren't working women? Many of the Christian women I encounter haven't heard this important truth. Women have always worked! In fact, we examined this when we discussed the creation story of Genesis, the prophetesses Miriam and Deborah, and the women who worked in unity with Jesus! God needs us working in unity with men for his glory! Women played an important role in the early church. I think about Mary being the first to see the resurrected Jesus. Scripture could have skipped ahead to meeting the disciples in Galilee, but it doesn't! God wants us to see how his story includes the men and women he created in his image. The Old Testament prophet Joel states, I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and daughters shall prophesy. This verse can be found in Joel 28 and in summary in Acts 2. The Spirit is for sons and daughters—both to prophesy! One of the first accounts of healing in the book of Acts is of Tabitha (also known as Dorcas) in Acts 9:36-43. We learn she had died, and she was considered a woman full of good works and charity. She was apparently a very good seamstress as the scripture speaks of the tunics and garments she had made. We learn it was men urging them to come to the bedside of Tabitha. She was clearly respected. And she was raised to life by Peter. Lydia is described in Acts 16 as a seller of purple goods and a worshiper of God. Paul came to find a group of women who had come together in prayer. He sought them out—to be in unity with them in prayer. His seeking and the Lord's opening of Lydia's heart to hear the good news of Jesus, opened new unity and provision for Paul when Lydia invite him to stay in her home. We also see that Paul returned to Lydia when he was released from prison. Lydia needed unity with Jesus, and Paul needed unity with Lydia for his work! We also learn those in Lydia's household encouraged Paul. Lydia was a seller. She worked. God used her work and leadership to help grow the early church! God is still doing this today. Are you a creator like Tabitha or a seller like Lydia? Not only does your influence with others serve as an important way for the gospel to be shared, but your financial provision also can help ministries lay groundwork to encourage others to spread the good news and cause an increase in the Church of Jesus Christ! This is why your work and the unity between men and women is important to the Lord. Working together will ultimately create a much greater impact for the glory of the kingdom.

When you think of your work, do you think about the most important work God has called us to? That work is to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and this work is a shared work for all of us who are brothers and sisters in Christ. Men and women share a critical, unified role in sharing the beautiful gift of mercy and eternity we have in Jesus! Although we see the twelve disciples Jesus calls in the New Testament are all men, we cannot choose to miss all the ways women were used by Jesus for the great work of sharing the good news! Jesus's first revelation of himself being the Messiah is to the woman at the well. This account in John 4 is significant first because Jesus is alone accepting water from a Samaritan woman. The Samaritans were the outcasts of the time, and this woman was a woman with many husbands. He breaks barriers to bring her into unity in his revelation. The best part is her response. This woman runs all the way back to town, not caring about who she is in this community but who she is in Christ, and begins to share the good news of the living water. We see Jesus with Mary and Martha and their brother Lazarus in the scriptures. Mary and Martha provided hospitality to Jesus and the disciples with meals and a place to teach. We know Jesus deeply loved Lazarus and deeply cared for Mary and Martha, which was matched by their devotion and trust for him. Not only were women part of the ministry of Jesus in his living but also in his death and resurrection. At the crucifixion in Matthew 27:55-56 we learn there were many women there, looking from a distance. These women had followed Jesus from Galilee and ministered to him, among whom were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee. Again, this ministering could have been for physical needs like food and shelter or emotional and spiritual support during his ministry. Either way, these women, worked in unity with the men alongside Jesus. The women at the cross displayed great loyalty to the end, and they were also first to learn of the resurrection. After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb (Matthew 28:1). Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me” (Matthew 28:10). We may not see a lot about the unity between the 12 disciples and these women, but we see a more important unity—the unity between Jesus Christ and them. How are you in unity with Jesus at work today?

We hear a lot about the prophets, but what about prophetesses? Women worked alongside men in the Old Testament, even as prophetesses of the Lord. Although the Old Testament text has a lot less to say about these women, we read that they were respected and sought after for their specific wisdom. The history in the Bible would surely not be the same without unity between these women and the men they served with and for. Why don't we see these stories as powerful movements for the kingdom of God? We have examined the unity God created men and women in and the unity of work he created us for. And we also examined how sin broke this sacred unity. This is the underlying why. Culture and sin both play an unintentional and sometimes intentional role in us not hearing more about these female prophets. You could probably tell me a lot about Moses and Aaron, but what about their sister? Her name was Miriam, and she was also a prophet of the Lord. If I think about this trio more, I wish I could have heard more about their unity and the dynamics of their work together! Miriam is one of the earliest leaders of worship! In Exodus 15:20-21 we see her leading other women in song and dance after they crossed the Red Sea. The timing of the text suggests she may have been the first to lead a victory celebration of the exodus from Egypt! Miriam was noted as one of God's chosen leaders of the exodus in Micah 6:4. I brought you up out of Egypt and redeemed you from the land of slavery. I sent Moses to lead you, also Aaron and Miriam (Micah 6:4). She was “joined as a whole” in unity with her brothers in this work. Deborah, too, was a powerful prophetess. She is described in Scripture as a judge, military strategist, warrior, and mother in Israel. No, she was not an actual mom, but rather she was a leader of Israel. In Judges, we see Deborah working, first as a judge and then as the one who leads Israel to war. Now Deborah, a prophet, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went up to her to have their disputes decided (Judges 4:4-5). Men and women sought her counsel. In the next verse we see Deborah sends for and summons Barak. Barak said to her, “If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go” (Judges 4:8). You can read more about this in Judges chapters 4 and 5, but again we see God using men and women—in unity— to complete work. How do you see examples of Miriam and Deborah and their unity with the men around them in your work today?

I have been in the workplace for longer than I want to admit and one thing I can say is I hear more about the differences between men and women at work than what unifies us. Although I don't want to overlook the different realities men and women face in the workforce, I also don't think we talk enough about God's point of view on men and women when it comes to work. So, let's examine some of the women in the Bible and the true definition of unity, or the state of being united or joined as a whole, when it comes to men and women at work. In Genesis 1:26-27 we see the beautiful work of unity in creation. Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:26-27). We first see unity in the trinity before God even created man and woman. Our image and our likeness—not my image and my likeness—our. God embodies the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This is the image of God, working together to form creation. And, when we read the verse about creating man, he created both male and female in his own image. Not men exalted above women or women above men but creation in his image, in unity. If we don't look to the beginning, it is easy to look at the ways culture and society have created norms about work. The reality is, these are not God's norms for men and women. The next verses in Genesis 1:28-29 further frame God's plans for man and woman. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food” (Genesis 1:28-29). God gave man and woman an equal command to work—in unity. So, why do we have so much trouble with unity of men and women at work today? Sin. Your sin and mine. Men sin and women sin. We break unity. But awareness of how it should be—this is the best start. And we can look at how God used men and women together in scripture to accomplish his plans.

Let me begin by describing what a toxic person is. Toxic means poisonous, dangerous, harmful, and persistent. So, a toxic person is one who can poison an atmosphere, and their actions and words are harmful and repetitive. Not just a once-in-awhile bad day, but a recurring unhealthy and hurtful behavior. Here are some signs that a person is toxic: They talk more than they listen. They are always right—never admit to being wrong. They are drama queens or kings—drama seems to follow them everywhere. They lack tact and general courtesy. They often lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want. They exhibit controlling behaviors. They love to talk about other people—to gossip. They are in general very negative people. Here's the first thing I want to remind you, as we talk about dealing with toxic people. They are people that God loves, just as much as he loves you. I remember long ago when I worked for a boss who was anything but pleasant; I just found it hard to even be around him. But I remember clearly one day when the thought came to me, no doubt from the Holy Spirit, that God loved him just as much as he loved me. I had to sit down and think about it. How could God love someone so unlovable? But it's true, because God is love, that he loves that toxic person in your life just as much as he loves you. And secondly, that person is not in your life by accident. God is allowing it—not approving of their behavior, mind you—but allowing that person in your life for some good reason. It could be to help you grow in grace, as you learn to deal with them. It could be for the good influence you could have on that toxic person—it could be both. But trust me, God has some good reason for this person being in your life. We are told in Scripture: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). That's our assignment for dealing with toxic people. Others may live by more commonly accepted relationship principles, such as, Look out for number one! Don't take any guff! Stand up for your rights! They may have no motivation to live at peace with everyone, but we are called to this Christ-like objective. It is a lofty one; it is often out of step with the world's wisdom; it is often not appreciated or valued by others. But as disciples of Jesus Christ, it is our guiding principle. And for sure, when we can respond to toxic people with more patience, more kindness, and less anger than others, we are demonstrating the love of Jesus, and it won't be missed. Your coworkers may not believe in God. They may never go to church. They may even think you are some kind of religious fanatic, but they cannot escape the difference in the way you respond to toxic people when you allow God's Spirit to empower you to respond like Jesus would. I think your first challenge is to get your own attitude and reactions to toxic people under control. Learn to do some things that will keep you from—as we say—going crazy. Here are four practical things you can do to protect yourself when you're dealing with a truly toxic person. Don't let your thoughts and mind dwell on them all the time. When dealing with such a disruptive and irritating person—on a regular basis, no less—it's very natural to let their behavior occupy your mind and your thoughts way too much. So, if you find you're dwelling on their behavior and you're giving them too much thought time, you need to firmly and swiftly boot the person out of your head. Refuse to let them take over your mind. Philippians 4 tells us to think about things that are lovely, pure, noble—and that pretty much excludes that toxic person. So, stop giving them time in your mind. And how do you do that? You do it by replacing thoughts of them with good thoughts, thankfulness, reciting your blessings, and focusing on God's goodness. That's what it means to bring every thought into captivity and make it obedient to Christ, as we read in 2 Corinthians 10:5. This is a spiritual discipline that will make a huge difference in your life. If you have not already discovered this truth and learned how to take wrong thoughts captive, I recommend a book I've written on it, entitled Think About What You Think About. So, as you head out to work each day, ask the Holy Spirit to remind you to boot those wrong thoughts out of your mind, to help you refuse to allow this toxic person to occupy your thoughts. That is a very important first step. Distance yourself from them as much as possible. You've heard a lot about setting boundaries, I'm sure. The Bible teaches us to set boundaries. For example, these two passages from Proverbs: Proverbs 4:14 – 15: Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. Proverbs 16:17: The highway of the upright avoids evil; those who guard their ways preserve their lives. And Philippians 4:7 tells us the peace of God will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. So, we have to be wise about distancing ourselves from people who would fill our minds with evil and try to bring us down emotionally. You may not be able to distance yourself from a toxic person physically, if they are a coworker, but if that is not possible, learn to distance yourself mentally and emotionally. Pray each day that God will protect your mind and teach you how to literally tune them out when you can. You know, if you can wear headphones where you work, you could use that as a buffer between you and that toxic person. Even if you don't listen to anything on your earphones, just wearing them creates some distance. Seek relationships at work with uplifting people. Hopefully, there are constructive people in your workplace. Spend time with them, not talking about the toxic person, but talking about fun things, happy things. Uplifting people are a great counterbalance to toxic people. I remember when one of our pastors answered one of my emails with one of his funny quips. It was on a day when I felt like the world was closing in on me—you've had those days, I'm sure. When I read his funny email, I just laughed heartily and thanked God for a friend like him who can always lift my spirits. I've known him more than 25 years, and he has this wonderful gift of finding what I call the “happy spot.” I hope you have people you work with who can always lift your spirit. Look for them and spend time with them as an antidote for the toxic people around you. Watch your self-talk. Don't be your own worst enemy by talking to yourself in discouraging ways. You know, we all talk to ourselves, and typically we believe what we tell ourselves, don't we? So, watch out for your self-talk and use it for good in your life. Talk to yourself on a regular basis with good news. Don't allow your thoughts to linger in negative territory. You can control what you say to yourself! Listen to how the Psalmist talks to himself: Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God (Psalm 42:11). Well, there are four practical things you can do to protect yourself from the toxicity of coworkers who may be causing discord and disharmony where you work. This attitude change toward toxic people has to be a God-thing or it will never be a reality. The good news is as Christ-followers, we have the power to put these into practice, because we have been given God's Spirit, indwelling us and empowering us. And it begins, as so much does, by prayer. Daily praying something like this: “Lord, whoever I deal with today, help me to see them the way you see them. Remind me that you love them and their real need is to know you.” In his book, Reaching for the Invisible God, Philip Yancey advises that it is easier to act your way into feelings than to feel your way into actions.[1] In other words, do what you know is right to do and let the feelings follow, if they will. If you wait on your feelings to kick in before you do what you know you should do, you'll be in waiting mode many days, if you're like me! John wrote: God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him (1 John 4:16b). Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18). This kind of love is an action, not a feeling. It is a decision not a desire. Sometimes the feelings and desires are present; sometimes they are not. Either way, if we live in God, we must live in love. One of the greatest indications that we truly “live in God” and are new creations in Christ Jesus is our willingness to extend this God-love to people who would have no claim on our love otherwise. After all, these toxic coworkers can't expect you to love them, can they? It's not in your job description, and no one can demand it from you. Therefore, when you choose to love in actions and truth, you show a loveless world a little sample of what Jesus is like. You become the love of God reaching out to them, unconditional love, which cannot be explained or ignored. It is powerful in its implications and effects on the relationships of our lives. One small verse in 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that Love never fails. When nothing else works, try love. When there seems to be no way to improve a relationship, try love. Love never fails. Just as a reminder, tell yourself frequently that workplaces will be workplaces. In most cases, you have a lot of different personalities thrown into one cauldron during working hours. Drama, power struggles, and office politics are often inevitable, at least to some extent. Try to keep yourself as far removed from all this as possible. Concentrate on your own work and excellence and let people be people. — [1] Yancey, P. (2000). Reaching for the invisible God : what can we expect to find? Zondervan.

Let me present a hypothetical situation to you: Suppose you’re a married woman, and you take a new job which puts you in a close working relationship with a single man. Your husband is not happy about this, but you don’t want to give up the new job. How should a Christian woman handle this situation? If I were talking with you, I would say first and foremost, don’t lose sight of your priorities. A marriage is eternally significant; a job is not. Even if you feel your husband is overreacting because of a jealous nature, you may have to be willing to go that extra mile for the sake of your marriage. If you are truly convinced your husband’s fears are totally unfounded and you see no signs of trouble in your relationship with this new coworker, then you need to find ways to show your husband there is no threat to your marriage. You might invite the single man to have dinner with you and your husband, in your home if possible. That says a lot. It tells your husband and your coworker that your marriage is the most important thing to you, and it gives your husband an opportunity to get to know this man. I would advise you be very open with your husband. Explain you really would like to keep the job, but if he is not comfortable with your working relationship with this man, you would be willing to give it up for the sake of your marriage. Make sure he understands you are first concerned about him and his feelings. But ask him to at least get to know this man before coming to a conclusion. Ask him to pray with you about the decision. Make certain you are willing to put your marriage first, even if you feel your husband is over-reacting and unfair. Do it for the Lord and do it because of your marriage vows, which are sacred. Hopefully you’ll be able to have a good dialogue with your husband and show him he has no need to worry. But if not, God will honor you for your commitment to your marriage, even if it means giving up the job. Working relationships with those of the opposite sex can present us with some unique challenges. As believers, our strongest weapon is prayer. We can have some wonderful camaraderie with the men in our work worlds, but we must always be alert to the dangers that lurk.

It's not unusual for an attraction to develop between a man and a woman who work together. Spending hours side by side can naturally create a connection. I want to examine some of the pitfalls that can show up in those situations. Most of us have seen relationships develop between coworkers—or maybe experienced that spark ourselves. What should a Christian woman do if she begins to feel attracted to a male coworker or senses he's attracted to her? The first thing is to ask a very simple question: Are either of you married? If the answer is yes, then the path forward is actually very clear. That attraction is something you simply cannot encourage. No private conversations, lingering looks, or emotional sharing that crosses a line. You don't even have to pray about the decision—just pray you will obey God. That's it. Full stop. The wisest step is to create distance; marriages should always be protected. Female attention from a man can feel flattering—especially if you're single or going through a lonely season. But many inappropriate relationships start in a very ordinary and innocent way: someone is a good listener. I've heard women say, “He didn't have anyone else to talk to. I was the only friend he had.” But that kind of emotional closeness can quietly move into dangerous territory. You can find yourself in an emotional affair. Now, if both of you are single, a relationship might be worth considering. But as a Christian woman, you'll want to look carefully at the bigger picture. It's important he share your faith in Jesus Christ—and your level of commitment to living it out. Even then, relationships between coworkers can complicate the workplace. It's wise to move slowly and keep good boundaries. And if the relationship becomes serious, it may be best to find a way to separate your working lives. In situations like this, the wisest choice is usually the one that protects hearts—yours and everyone else's. And it can save you from much hurt and regret later as you honor God through obedience.

I want to examine a situation you may face, and that is managing or working with men who resent having a female manager or coworker. They may feel threatened by having a woman manager or peer, or their background could have prejudiced them against women in business. I was one of the first women in IBM sales; this goes back many years. There was an older salesman in my office who was totally against women in sales. He thought this was the worst move IBM had ever made. The first year I was in that office, he hardly spoke to me. He figured I wasn’t going to last; women couldn’t make it in sales, he thought, so why bother with me. For one year he observed and noticed I was having pretty good success at selling, making my quotas, winning some awards, etc. Then one day he watched me make a presentation to a prospect, and he was impressed. He began to ask me to make sales calls with him, and we became a very effective sales team. We became good friends and laughed about those early days. But it took time for him to change his attitude toward women in sales. Often time is the key word, and many women don’t want to give the men time to change. After all, we have our rights, don’t we? After all, we deserve our opportunity! After all, we have lots of lost time to make up and the business world owes us something, right?! That’s the world’s attitude. But as a Christian woman that is a totally anti-biblical attitude. We don’t have rights because we’ve given our rights over to our Creator and our Savior. We are his servants. That doesn’t mean we allow people to walk all over us, but it does mean our attitude is one of servanthood, not trying to get what’s coming to us. It means we have patience and compassion toward those men who are prejudiced toward women, even the ones who will never change. And that takes lots of prayer on our part. I encourage you to use these situations as opportunities to demonstrate what God’s love is all about. Go out of your way to understand them; ask God to help you see them through his eyes. Pray for their benefit and let God take care of the rest. That’s the most important and effective way to deal with men who have the wrong attitude toward women in the workplace.

I’m examining the various complications Christian working women can face in dealing with men on their jobs. With more women now holding management positions, it is no longer uncommon to find women managers with men reporting to them. These female management positions can be difficult at times. In trying to “get it right,” I've known women in management who overreacted by trying to be too assertive and working too hard at establishing their authority. Don't let that feeling of insecurity cause you to overcompensate by being too rigid and demanding. On the other hand, I've also seen women who bend over too far backward to keep from intimidating male subordinates and to avoid coming on too strong, and this can cause weak managers who lack proper control. We need to find that natural, happy medium that allows us to be ourselves, to manage effectively in our own style, without being overly aware of the fact that we are female and they are male. Remember, you don’t have to manage like a man in order to be an effective manager. You need to have a good basic understanding of effective management techniques and incorporate those into your style. I’ve seen many women in the business world try to change their behavior to a tougher style, more like the men around them. It was obvious and frankly ineffective. As women, we should take advantage of our natural leadership and management abilities, instead of trying to manage like a man. The important thing is: Are you getting the job done well, using your people productively, and is the morale in good condition? If so, you’re a good manager, even if your style is different from men. Look at the women in Scripture who managed men: Deborah, Lydia, Priscilla, the Proverbs 31 woman, to mention a few. There was nothing tentative about their management style, but they managed as women. All were quite different from each other and different from male managers, as well.

I’m examining a subject that is of interest to most women—men. In particular, the men in our working worlds. I think I speak for most women when I say life without men would be pretty dull. We’re more than glad to have them around, but when we enter the working world, we face some new challenges in our relationships with men. Frequently we're engaged with men as peers, as managers, as subordinates. I can still see large sales offices where I began my career, jammed with desks to accommodate about 40 sales people, and there I was the only female sales rep surrounded by men on every side. I discovered quite quickly relating to men on the job was a new ball game, for which I was not particularly well prepared. I want to talk about the issues we face when we work closely with men on our jobs. For instance, is it alright to develop friendships with male co-workers? I think the answer is yes, with precautions! I worked with several nice men whom I considered good friends. They were married, so I was also friends with their wives. I’m often asked if it looks improper to have a business luncheon alone with a man. The business luncheon has become a way of life, and it can be helpful. I don’t believe it is improper, but I think the rule of thumb is, if in doubt, don’t. If you have any doubts, bring a third party along. I remember a young man telling me it seemed to bother his new wife when he had a business luncheon alone with a woman. My advice was if it bothered her, regardless of how innocent it might be, he should do everything possible to allay her fears. He might schedule those meetings in the office rather than at lunch. I’m reminded of the Scripture that says we should avoid even the appearance of evil. That's a high standard, but we need to adhere to it particularly in our relationships with men on the job. People are watching us, and we represent Jesus Christ, so we must be ever aware of that responsibility.

It's true that because of our natural tendency to be attracted to the opposite sex and because of the amount of time spent with coworkers on a daily basis, an attraction may very well occur on our jobs. Most of us have seen this happen or have experienced it ourselves. What does a Christian do when she or he feels an attraction to a coworker or senses a coworker is attracted to her or him? The very first moment you have any inkling this may be happening, ask yourself one critical question: Is either of you married? If the answer to that question is “yes,” your course of action is very simple and clear. It may not be easy, but it certainly is simple and uncomplicated. Biblical principles leave no room for debate or discussion on this issue: The marriage vows are sacred and in no circumstance is there ever a justification for a married person to have a relationship with someone else. That means you cannot allow any intimate words or feelings or looks or innuendoes to be exchanged between you and this other person. That is it! Final! If it means changing jobs or asking to be transferred, do it. There is no middle ground for a true Christ-follower. The answer is the same even if one of the people involved is experiencing a difficult marriage. Many times, people tend to justify illegitimate relationships by rationalizing that one or both of them is in a very unhappy marriage. The condition of the marriage in no way changes the principle by which Christians should abide. As Christians we should do everything possible to help hurting marriages find healing. Allowing a relationship to develop with a person whose marriage is shaky will do just the opposite. And let me warn you these attractions can happen even to people who have good marriages, even to singles who aren’t looking for a relationship. We all are vulnerable to the chemistry of male/female relationships, and we must be on our guard at all times. In today’s society I'm certain such a position appears to be very drastic, legalistic, eccentric, and inflexible. But that’s because we have become so infiltrated with the world’s philosophy, that basic Christian principles now appear archaic, even to some Christians. Remember, God’s principles work. While they are ageless, they are not outdated; they are there for our benefit. All of us could tell of people we know or perhaps our own experience where many lives have been harmed and ruined by disobeying this Christian principle. The thing we should remember is these sinful relationships are rarely planned. They just happen when the people involved fail to see the warning signs and stop it in the early stages. If you’re attracted to someone with whom you work, or he or she is attracted to you, and either of you is married, you don’t even need to pray about what you should do. When God’s Word gives a clear answer, there is no need to ask for special guidance. He will never lead us individually in a direction that is contrary to his written Word. You need to pray for wisdom and strength to do the right thing. Let me also advise you to take drastic and definite action. Don’t play “around the edges;” if you do, you’re truly playing with fire. If you think you can have long talks, quiet lunches, or innocent encounters without ever allowing it out of bounds, you don’t understand chemistry too well or you have too much confidence in yourself. Don’t be fooled by rationalizing you are just being a good friend. Many times, illegitimate relationships begin because one of those involved is a good listener. How many times have I heard a woman say, “He didn’t have anyone else he could talk with. I was the only friend he had, and I just couldn’t be unkind to him.” If he needs help and counseling, you are the wrong person to give it. That excuse just will not hold water. There is no good reason for you to ever allow a wrong relationship to develop. And keep this in mind: Even if the relationship does not become a physical one, it still can be harmful and wrong if it causes an emotional closeness that robs a marriage of intimacy. Some people find their needs met for companionship and understanding in a coworker and then exert no effort and find no need to develop that kind of closeness with their marriage partner. It’s another form of an affair. Jesus said: If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than having two eyes, to be cast into the fiery hell (Matthew 18:8-9). As Christians we should be very fearful of allowing ourselves to get into a tempting situation when we know the risks and dangers involved. Therefore, be prepared to take drastic action if necessary. God will honor you for that and will be able to bless you. But suppose you are single and so is he or she. Then what do you do when you’re attracted to someone with whom you work? Assuming he or she is a Christian, because you would not ever want to be seriously interested in someone who was not, you need to think through very carefully the potential dangers of having a relationship with a coworker. Common sense tells us such a relationship can cause complications. It tends to distract you from your job, and other coworkers may resent it if they feel it is affecting your work or their workload. It is almost impossible to keep these relationships quiet; usually everyone is aware. You may think no one knows, but that is rarely the case. Certainly, if one of you is in management and the other is not, you will be exposing yourself to widespread criticism. If it appears this relationship may be going somewhere, it might be good for one of you to change jobs or departments. You’ll be able to work in a more relaxed fashion, do a better job, and enjoy your relationship with more freedom. Now, let me examine a topic that is still an issue: sexual harassment on the job. I remember when someone told me how she and her female coworkers endured many years of sexual harassment from the top man in their organization. He continually made sexual remarks to them, asked them for sexual favors, threatened their jobs or promotions or raises if they did not cooperate, or if they reported him. And he was such a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, that others found it difficult to believe he could be that way. He chose the women he harassed carefully, making sure he had plenty of leverage and power over them, while at the same time never harassing others, so they would always deny the allegations against him. Finally, they were able to take action when their organization formed a committee for grievances. These women, after years of enduring his harassment, sought some legal advice and threatened a class action against the company. As a result, he was quietly urged to resign, which he did. She shared with me the pain and stress of those years she worked for him and the turmoil she went through in deciding whether to be a part of the action against him. She wondered if that was the thing a Christian should do; it went against her nature to take such legal action against another person. But I assured her she had done exactly the right thing. I truly believe it is not only our right but our responsibility to expose real sexual harassment, so other women can be spared the horror. Otherwise, by doing nothing, we can allow it to perpetuate. When we confront and accuse for the good of others, as well as ourselves, we are usually on good scriptural ground. Jesus certainly took strong action and had strong words of condemnation for those who were doing wrong in his day, but never out of strictly self-interest or revenge. I know this is not easy for women to do, because you can risk your career and your reputation. You need counsel and great wisdom. But you also need courage to do the right thing. Now, I also have some compassion for men who feel the climate is so sensitive, that anything they say or do could be misinterpreted by a woman who is looking for something to jump on. These pendulums do tend to swing in violent directions; balance is a rare commodity. But you know, if our conversations are circumspect, if we say and do only things that we would say and do if Jesus were right there with us, we won’t have to worry about false accusations. I would say to the men who have that concern, “Just treat the women you work with the way Jesus would treat them, and you can put your mind at rest.” Jesus many times made it a point to break traditional laws concerning how women should be treated in his day. By his actions we can be assured he did not approve of prejudicial attitudes toward women. He talked to women in public, he allowed them to be a part of his traveling entourage and to support his ministry, and he showed them great respect, all of which broke the Jewish traditions. If you’re in the secular workplace on a regular basis, you’re bound to run into some of these predicaments that arise from male/female relationships. But if we approach this part of our business lives with a commitment to uphold the name of Jesus Christ, and to make certain nothing in our lives brings dishonor to him, we will have the appropriate attitude, and he will give us guidance as we work our way through what can often be “touchy” situations. Remember, avoid that first step, that first look, that first thought that can lead to an inappropriate relationship. As Proverbs 4 tells us, Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil (Proverbs 4:25-27).

The Joy Gap exists between what you expect, what you need or want, and what you're feeling. We've seen this gap can be caused by expecting too much of circumstances, successes and people, comparing yourself to others, and simply neglecting to do the things that close the Joy Gap, like increasing time with Jesus, who never disappoints. But what about those times when the gap doesn't seem to close? When life is hard, when circumstances are heavy, when joy feels distant? It's important to remember this: joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is based on what's happening. Joy runs deeper. Even in difficult seasons—even in grief, uncertainty, or waiting—joy can still be present. Not as a loud emotion, not like throwing a party, but as a quiet confidence; a steady assurance that God is with you and he's going to be with you all the way through that tough time. You can be confident he is at work and he hasn't forgotten you. Sometimes the Joy Gap remains for a while because God is doing something deeper than you can see. He's strengthening your faith. He's drawing you closer. He's teaching you to depend on him in a way you never have before. And in those seasons, joy may not feel obvious—but it's still there. If you're in that place today, don't be discouraged. Keep trusting. Keep walking. Keep turning your heart toward the Lord. Remember that small steps can still walk miles. Take small steps toward the Lord, because even when you don't feel it, he is still your source of joy. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart (Psalm 19:8). You’ll find joy in the Word of God. Start your day focusing on the unfailing love of Jesus, and you will be much more joyful all day long, I promise. Reinforce some simple disciplines like this in your life and, in time, the Joy Gap will close. Not because everything around you changed, but because something within you did.

How can you close the Joy Gap? The Joy Gap is the distance between what you expect from life or from your job or your relationships, and what you are experiencing. It's the reality that even when things are good, when circumstances are favorable—even then they don't bring the joy and satisfaction you expected. There's a Joy Gap. But we're not hopeless, we who are Christ-followers. We have the answer, but we have to put into practice what we know. Let me give you a few simple, practical ways to do that each day. First, practice gratitude. Joy and gratitude are closely connected. When you intentionally thank God for what he's doing—even the small things—you shift your focus from what's missing to what's already been given. So often we just focus on the negatives, don't we? It's our sinful human nature that drives us that way, but we don't have to be victims of that any longer. Be thankful. Speak words of thanksgiving all through the day, even if you don't necessarily feel them. And refuse words of negativity. Be careful what you say to yourself. Second, guard your thoughts. If your mind is constantly filled with worry, comparison, or negative “what ifs,” your joy doesn't stand much of a chance. The Bible teaches us to bring every thought into captivity and make it obey Christ. Dear friend, I encourage you to take that literally. When your thoughts start down negative territory, grab them and refuse to allow them to remain. Third, stay connected to God all day long. Just take time—every day—to talk with him, read his word, and listen. And all day long send up one-minute prayers for his joy to fill you. Focus on it all day. You'll find the Joy Gap closes the more you are aware of and practice the presence of Jesus. And finally, live with purpose. When you're doing what God has called you to do—encouraging others, serving, loving well—there's a deep sense of joy that comes from knowing you're right where you're supposed to be. And over time, you'll notice something beautiful. Joy becomes less dependent on what's happening around you and more rooted in what God is doing within you.

The Joy Gap is that space between the joy we expect and what we actually feel. This term—Joy Gap—is becoming a noticeable phenomenon in our culture—not just in Christian circles. The world needs joy—the people you know at work, in your family, next door, they all want joy and most likely many are experiencing this Joy Gap, even if they don't recognize it. But the wonderful good news is that as followers of Jesus Christ, we have what is needed to close the Joy Gap. Real, lasting joy is not found in circumstances—it's found in your relationship with Jesus Christ. That may sound simple, but it's profoundly important and totally true. If your joy depends on things going well, then your joy will always be fragile. One disappointment, one change, one difficult situation—and it's gone. But when your joy is rooted in Christ, it becomes steady. It doesn't mean life is easy. It doesn't mean you're always smiling. But there's a deep sense of peace, confidence, and assurance that isn't shaken by what's happening around you. The Bible calls joy a fruit of the Spirit. That means it's not something you manufacture—it's something God produces in you as you stay connected to him. C.S. Lewis’ said: “Joy is the flag that is flown from the castle of the heart when the King is in residence there.” Is the flag of joy flying from your heart, your face, your life, your words? Or is there a Joy Gap in your own life? If you're feeling that Joy Gap, don't try harder to fix your circumstances. Instead, draw closer to the One who is your joy. Spend time with Jesus—just you and Jesus. Talk to him. Read his truth in the Bible. Refocus your heart. Because the closer you are to him, the smaller that Joy Gap becomes.

We are examining the Joy Gap—the difference between the joy we expect and the joy we actually experience. This Joy Gap has taken an identity of its own; people are noticing it and naming it and studying it. What is this Joy Gap and why does it happen? You might be in a Joy Gap if you find yourself thinking: “I thought I'd feel happier when I got here,” or “Why am I still restless?” or “I have so much to be thankful for—so why don't I feel joyful?” The reason most often given for this Joy Gap is because of misplaced expectations. We tend to assign too much power to things, people, and circumstances. We think, “If this works out, I'll be happy.” But no circumstance, no achievement—no matter how good—can carry that kind of weight. It's an unrealistic expectation. Another reason is comparison. It's so easy to look at someone else's life and assume they're happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied. But comparison quietly steals joy. It shifts your focus from what God is doing in your life to what you think he's doing in someone else's. Comparing yourself and your situation to others is a sure way to increase your Joy Gap. And then there's fear—those “what if” thoughts. What if this doesn't last? What if something goes wrong? What if I lose what I have? You can't enjoy what you have for fear that you could lose it. That kind of fearful thinking can drain joy right out of the good things that are happening right now. And sometimes, the Joy Gap comes from simple neglect. When you're too busy to stay connected to the Lord, your joy begins to fade—not because he moved, but because you did. But here's the encouraging part: once you understand why the gap exists, you can begin to do something about it. I encourage you to think about what is stealing your joy. Satan loves to steal our joy. Ask yourself if you're allowing unrealistic expectations or comparisons or fear to create a Joy Gap in your life.

Have you ever reached something you really wanted—an achievement, a milestone, even a season of life—and then thought, “I expected to feel happier than this”? I want to examine what I call the Joy Gap. Actually, Joy Gap is a term used today to define the space between what you think will bring you joy and what actually does. For example, you may be experiencing a Joy Gap at work. That would be the gap between what you expect from your work or career, and what you actually feel. I was amazed to learn a recent study shows 61% of workers reported less joy at work than expected, which is a significant increase in the last few years. Furthermore, this Joy Gap at work is not limited to one type of job or career, but affects all industries, all company sizes, and all levels of organizations. Then there's the Joy Gap in relationships. That's the length of time between moments of joy in a relationship. That could be a marriage, a family relationship, a friendship—those important relationships in your life you expect to bring you happiness, but those moments are fewer and fewer and further apart. That's a Joy Gap. We all have expectations. We think, “When this happens, I'll finally feel content.” But then we arrive there—and the joy doesn't quite match what we imagined—that gap can be confusing and discouraging. You might start to wonder, “What's wrong with me? Why am I not happier?” But the truth is nothing is wrong with you. You're just discovering something very important. You're learning the things you often depend on for joy were never designed to fully satisfy you—and that includes even the good things. That's why this Joy Gap matters. It's not a failure. It's a signal that maybe you've been looking for lasting joy in temporary places. The good news is there is a source of joy that doesn't disappoint. A joy that isn't based on everything going right.

The book of Genesis explains to us that it was God’s plan to create two sexes, male and female, both created equally in his image, both finding the other attractive, both needing each other, and different in many ways from each other. It was a good plan, and it is still good today, one that has brought a great deal of joy, happiness, and fulfillment into our lives, for both women and men. True, the plan has been misused and abused through the ages, and relationships between men and women certainly have caused many problems and heartaches. But that results from our lack of understanding of each other and our unwillingness to allow these relationships to be controlled by God’s principles. Often, we have close working relationships with the opposite sex, spending many hours each day working together, physically near each other, and communicating frequently. And sometimes we are not aware of the dynamics of these male/female relationships; many of us are in unfamiliar territory. I remember when I began my career as a sales representative for IBM. I was the only female sales rep in my office at first, and I can still see that large office, jammed with desks to accommodate about 40 salespeople, and there I was in the middle, surrounded by men on every side. Sounds like a dream come true for a single woman. While I certainly enjoyed the attention that my unique situation afforded me, I discovered quite quickly that I was not prepared to deal with the many diverse complications that arose from the male/female aspect of it. Having made some mistakes in this area of my business life, I think it is important to address this subject very directly and candidly, because many of you are struggling with male/female relationships on the job. Let me begin by talking about the friendships that can develop between male and female coworkers. It’s inevitable we will find some coworkers of the opposite sex with whom we share many experiences, whom we respect and enjoy, and a friendship develops. I can think of several men I’ve worked with whom I consider good friends, even years later. Friendships are good things, and I’m always grateful for a friend, wherever I find them. However, we must put up the caution flag and beware of the pitfalls that we can fall into with any friend of the opposite sex. I was a single woman and most of my male coworker friends were married. That's probably pretty common. That should send up a flag that says it is our responsibility as single women to make certain their wives are comfortable with our friendship with their husbands and understand the nature of our relationships. I made it a practice, as these friendships developed, to become very good friends with their wives and families. They were invited to my home and I to theirs. I made certain they were not concerned in any way about my working relationship with their husbands. Had I sensed it bothered them in any way, I would have backed away from that relationship, even though their concerns would have been totally unfounded. A young man once asked my opinion about having a business luncheon with a woman alone, and he went on to explain that this seemed to bother his new wife. My advice was if it bothered her, regardless of how innocent or how convenient that business lunch might be, he should do everything possible to schedule those meetings in the office rather than at lunch. I think he should do everything he can to allay his wife’s concern, even though they may be unfounded. Some might say we should never have a business lunch alone with someone of the opposite sex, but I honestly don’t see this as a black and white situation. The business lunch has become a way of life, and it can be a convenient way to conduct business. There is nothing immoral or questionable about it. But each situation is different and requires wisdom and insight on our part. I think the rule of thumb should be, if in doubt, don’t. Or if it bothers your conscience, don’t. We know from Romans 14 there are some disputable matters where sincere Christians will have differing convictions; the important thing for us is not to condemn others, but to be certain we follow what we believe is right for us to do. A suggestion is to bring a third party along. That’s usually possible to do, and that solves the question of how it might look to others. Most of my peers while working in corporate America were men, which meant if I went to lunch with my friends, I usually went to lunch with men. But rarely was it alone. Now, let me address another issue with male/female relationships in the workplace, and that is women in management with men reporting to them. This is fairly common now. But it still can present problems for these women managers in knowing just how to relate to their subordinates and for the men who often have to adjust their mindsets and attitudes toward women in authority. I’ve encountered many who are struggling with a very basic question in this regard, and that is: Should a Christian woman hold a position of leadership over men? As I look at Scripture, I can find no directive that would prohibit women from holding management positions in business. To the contrary, I can think of many women within Scripture who did hold leadership positions over men. Deborah was a judge over her nation, and she led an army of men into battle (Judges 3 and 4). The Proverbs Woman (Proverbs 31) had both a manufacturing and a real estate business, which easily could have put her in a position of directing male subordinates. We know she managed her household of many servants, and presumably that would include male servants. Lydia was a seller of purple (Acts 16), which was a most prestigious position. She must have interacted with men and directed them at times. We know she had a large household under her management, and this household would most likely have included men. And Priscilla was one of the two instructors at the first Bible school, as she and her husband taught Apollos about Jesus Christ. I believe a Christian woman is free to hold management positions with male subordinates, if she has the desire and the opportunity. However, we need to be aware of some common pitfalls. In wanting to make it clear that they are qualified for their positions, many female managers overreact by trying to be too assertive and working too hard at establishing their authority. Some women are a little insecure in these roles, and it is easy to overcompensate by being too rigid and demanding. On the other hand, some women bend over too far backward to keep from intimidating male subordinates and to avoid coming on too strong, and this can cause a weak manager who lacks proper control. Our challenge is to find that natural, happy medium that allows us to manage effectively in our own style, treat everyone fairly and equally, and not allow ourselves to be intimidated by the male/female aspects of management. It is true there are sometimes double standards concerning acceptable behavior for women and men in leadership roles. A woman manager who does her job well may be viewed by some as being a “pushy broad,” whereas male managers who demonstrate the same style of leadership and assertiveness are considered “up and coming” and admired. I know how irritating that is, but I want to encourage you, if you’re in that kind of situation, not to react to people’s prejudices. I think the smartest thing we can do, as well as the kindest thing, is to rise above their attitudes, and focus on doing our job well, managing effectively, and trusting the consequences to the Lord. It’s a fine line we walk between not being intimidated by the prejudices of others and not becoming militant or vindictive, but I believe, with God’s help, we can do it. As a female manager, you may encounter male subordinates who resent you. This is certainly an appropriate time to ask for special wisdom from God, as he has promised us in James 1:5. In fact, this is a situation that should cause you to pray a lot more. That’s where you’ll find answers. Any kind of management or leadership position comes with its own set of mine fields, and as Christians, it is only in prayer and seeking God’s wisdom that we can walk through those mine fields without harm. A verse God has again and again brought to my attention in these difficult situations is Proverbs 16:21: sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. Find ways to make your directions and your ideas easy to handle. It won’t diminish your stature, as a female manager, to do your best to ease the tension for the men you manage. And it will increase your persuasiveness. I have found praying specifically for the people who are giving me the most trouble is the smartest thing I can do. Asking God to help me understand them; praying daily that I’ll be able to care about them and do the right thing for them. When I do that, without fail my attitude changes and I find the relationships start to improve. Instead of getting angry at them or vindictive, ask God to give you compassion and tolerance. It is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in your life. Difficult relationships are often God’s way of helping us to grow in faith and learn to trust Jesus more. If you will pray daily about those sensitive male/female relationships on your job, I can assure you God will give you guidance and wisdom. And when they see that you do not behave in a defensive, aggressive manner, but rather with patience and gentleness, they will be at a loss to explain it. It may well give you an opportunity to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence, as we read in 1 Peter 3:15.

I've been looking at the book of Daniel and focusing on how he and his friends lived and worked in a foreign and often hostile environment—maybe similar to your workplace. Daniel and his friends were taken captive when they were young, probably late teens or early twenties. They were chosen to be part of the king of Babylon's workforce because they were deemed to be the best of the best. In each scenario that is found in the early chapters of Daniel, it's evident these men worshipped God. They knew their history, the stories and promises. They continued to trust God even though they were not at home and able to worship in the temple. And instead of getting sour or depressed or turning against God, their faith increased with each trial that they faced. And it's possible they spent the rest of their lives in a foreign land, in the waiting and in the place that they did not belong. And still they didn't turn from God. They faced trials most of us will never face like being tossed into a fiery furnace or a lion's den, to name a few. What an example they are. What an encouragement their faith and trust is to me. It was also encouraging to the writer of Hebrews where they are mentioned in a list of other faithful prophets. Who through their faith were saved from the mouths of lions and were kept from harm in the fiery furnace. I also wonder if they were familiar with this Psalm of David. It certainly applies to them and to us. The Lord is my light and my salvation—     whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—     of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me     to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes     who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me,     my heart will not fear; though war break out against me,     even then I will be confident (Psalm 27:1-2). I remain confident of this:     I will see the goodness of the Lord     in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord;     be strong and take heart     and wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:13-14). I hope this encourages you when you are in a hard place at work or with relationships, that you will be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord no matter what. Because he is trustworthy and faithful.

Do you work with people who seem jealous of your success? How do you live as a Christ-follower in that environment without becoming defensive on one hand or a doormat on the other? Daniel, once again, gives us a powerful example. By this point, Daniel has likely been in Babylon for around 60 years, and he's serving under a new leader King Darius. His work ethic, integrity, and excellence set him apart so clearly that the king plans to promote him and set him over the whole kingdom (Daniel 6:3). Daniel's coworkers grow jealous and begin looking for a way to bring him down. Scripture tells us, they could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent (Daniel 6:4). When they can't find any fault in his work, they shift their strategy. They convince the king to issue a decree: for 30 days, anyone who prays to any god or person other than the king will be thrown into the lion's den. Daniel now faces another test. Will he compromise? Will he adjust quietly to protect himself? I wonder what I would have done. I might have been tempted to find a middle ground. “I'll still pray, just not publicly. Just for a little while.” But not Daniel. He remains steady. He continues his established rhythm of prayer, openly and consistently. He doesn't become loud or combative; he simply refuses to compromise his devotion to God. His enemies “catch” him, report him, and the consequence is severe: Daniel is thrown into the lion's den. And God intervenes. Daniel is not harmed. God shuts the mouths of the lions. What's striking is Daniel wasn't spared from the trial. He still went into the den with those lions. But God protected him. Through Daniel's quiet faithfulness and unwavering trust, God's power and glory were put on display for all to see even to the most powerful ruler of that time. Remember, no matter who your boss is, no matter how leadership shifts around you, God is still sovereign. He does not change. As followers of Christ, we are called to serve him first with integrity, consistency, and courage. And when workplace dynamics feel unfair, when others undermine you, when it seems like doing the right thing is costing you, don't lose heart. Daniel didn't avoid the pit, and you may not either. But in those very places where you feel most vulnerable God is able to show up in powerful ways. Your faithfulness becomes a platform for his glory. Stand firm. Not harshly. Not passively. But faithfully. And trust God with the outcome.

Do you find it difficult to be honest when you have to deliver bad news? It can feel risky especially when the outcome might affect your job or your relationships. The Prophet Daniel's life gives us a picture of what it means to be an authentic follower of Christ in tough moments. In Daniel chapter 5, Daniel serves under a different leader, yet he continues faithfully in his role. By this point, he has years of experience and a strong reputation, but his ultimate allegiance remains with God. The king hosts a lavish feast, openly displaying his power and wealth. In his arrogance, he orders the sacred vessels taken from God's temple in Jerusalem to be used at the party. Not only are they misused, but the king and his guests praise false gods of gold, silver, bronze, iron, wood, and stone instead of honoring the living God. Suddenly, the mood shifts. A hand appears and writes a message on the wall. The once-confident king is filled with fear. After exhausting all other options to determine what the message says, someone suggests calling Daniel to interpret the message. It's interesting that Daniel wasn't the king's first choice. Perhaps, deep down, the king already knew he had crossed a line and didn't want to face the truth. When Daniel arrives, he speaks with respect but also with courage and clarity. He refuses the king's rewards, making it clear his message is not influenced by personal gain. As an authentic follower of God, Daniel is not driven by approval or advancement but by obedience to God. He reminds the king of how God dealt with Nebuchadnezzar and then confronts Belshazzar directly. He tells him plainly he has not humbled himself, he has dishonored God, and his kingdom will be taken from him. It is a hard message and a dangerous one to deliver. Yet, Daniel speaks the truth and leaves the outcome in God's hands. The outcome was King Belshazzar was slain that same evening and his kingdom was conquered by Darius the Mede. Daniel's example challenges us. Where are you being called to speak truth right now? Maybe it's in your workplace or in a relationship, and you're afraid of the consequences. Being an authentic follower of Christ doesn't mean being harsh or defensive. It means speaking truth with humility and respect, without compromising. It means trusting God enough to obey him, even when the outcome feels uncertain. Like Daniel, we can choose faithfulness over fear and trust God with whatever comes next.

Do you work in a hostile or competitive environment where your coworkers are contentious and will do anything to get ahead? That's a difficult place to be day in and day out, but with God's help, and lessons we learn from his Word, you can be a light in that place. For example, look at Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. We read in the Bible about how they were targeted for their faith. Nebuchadnezzar, the king decrees that as soon as anyone hears the music they are to bow down and worship his golden image, which is the very definition of an idol. Anyone who doesn't obey will be thrown into a blazing furnace. Of course, these young Israelite men are God worshippers, and so they do not follow this order. And the other Chaldeans, or maybe we could call them coworkers, observe their behavior and call them out—basically tell on them to the king. Nebuchadnezzar confronts them himself and kind of gives them one more chance to worship him. Listen to their reply: King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up (Daniel 3:16b-18). Did you hear that? They are so confident God would rescue them. They know he can do it. They have heard the stories of how God rescued the Israelites from Pharoah, how God parted the Red Sea and led them in the wilderness, how God went before Joshua and the walls of Jericho came down from the trumpeting of the horns. They know God can save them. Then this phrase—But even if he does not— they will still not worship any other God. They have faith in an everlasting God, even if he doesn't save them from the immediate fiery furnace. And the end of the story is they do get thrown into the blaze—so hot the men who threw them in died. But they are not there alone. When king Nebuchadnezzar looks in, he sees four men walking around. God was there with them in it. And when they came out, not a hair was singed. God not only miraculously saves them as no one else could do, but because of their beliefs and behavior it is an example to everyone how great and mighty God is. I hope this encourages you to be your authentic, genuine self at work. May you find your identity in Christ and know you can trust him for anything! Even if you can't see how it could possibly resolve itself, you and I serve and worship a God who can do mighty and miraculous things, even in a contentious and hostile workplace. Trust him to guide and help you. You just might be an example to others and glorifying to God.

Is your workplace a difficult environment? Are you being asked to participate in things that don't align with your biblical convictions? Many of us find ourselves in situations like that. Maybe it's a new HR requirement or a training course you're expected to attend. How do you authentically respond in a way that is both respectful to your employer and doesn't go against your faith? The Old Testament prophet Daniel gives us a powerful example. Let's look at Daniel's life and the lives of his friends to see how they navigated challenging circumstances and how you and I can apply those same principles in our workplaces today. Here's some background: Israel had been conquered by the king of Babylon, who took many of the most capable young people into his service. In Daniel 1:3-5, we read these young men were chosen for their intelligence, appearance, and ability to learn. They were brought into the king's palace, trained in Babylonian language and culture, and given food and wine from the king's table. Daniel and his friends, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, were among those taken. They were uprooted from their homes and everything familiar, placed in a foreign culture, and immersed in new beliefs and practices. Even their names were changed, as if their identity and heritage were being erased. They were also to eat the king's food, which on the surface sounds like a perk. But Daniel resolved not to defile himself by eating it. Some suggest the food may have been sacrificed to idols or considered unclean, though the text doesn't clearly say that. What I do see is Daniel chose to honor God in the one area he could control. In a place where so much had been taken from him, he remained faithful in what was still within his power. Daniel respectfully asked for permission for himself and his friends to abstain. He proposed a ten-day test to eat only vegetables and drink water, and in the end, he and his friends were healthier and better nourished than those who ate the king's food. Daniel was in a situation where nearly every aspect of his worship and culture had been stripped away. He couldn't go to the temple. He couldn't observe the usual practices of his faith. Yet he held onto what he could—his devotion to God. He chose to honor him in a small but significant way. What about you? Are there aspects of your workplace that feel outside your control? Where the environment seems hostile to your faith? Is the language inappropriate? Are the practices unethical? Do the expectations feel compromising? Where might God be inviting you, like Daniel, to take a respectful but firm stand? How can you authentically and respectfully respond in a tough situation and trust God will be with you and provide a way.

When you look in Scripture, you can find some very stunning examples of people who had pockets of fear—and I'm talking about some great saints of old. For example, Abraham had a pocket of fear about being killed. Here is a man described in Hebrews 11 as a man of great faith. God called him from a prosperous and comfortable life and said, Go to a land I will show you, and Abraham simply obeyed. He packed up and went to a place he had never been before, leaving his family and familiar surroundings behind. Even though he did not know where he was going, he went. That took great faith. Would you be able to do what he did? He also was able to believe God could give him a son even though his wife was barren and they both were past the age of childbearing. That took tremendous faith. What really marks Abraham as a great man of faith was his willingness to offer that miracle son as a sacrifice because he believed God could raise the dead if necessary. Every time I read that story, I shake my head at this man of incredible faith. Yet, when he was traveling in Egypt, on his journey to the Promised Land, he revealed a pocket of fear. Abraham was afraid the Egyptians would kill him because of his beautiful wife, Sarah, whom they would want for their own. In fear, he told Sarah to tell less than the truth—to say she was his sister—to keep them from killing him. You’ll find this story in Genesis 12, and as I read it recently, I thought, “Abraham, what in the world was your problem? You believed God in all these huge areas, but you didn’t believe God could keep you and Sarah alive in Egypt? Where was your great faith?” Abraham had a pocket of fear, and it led him into sin. It began to dawn on me we all have these pockets of fear. We can have great faith in some areas, at some times, and then our faith falls apart the next day or the next hour or when we round the next corner. Paul wrote to the Romans: For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry. ‘Abba, Father' (Romans 8:15). Whatever you are fearful about, it’s not coming from the Lord. Of course, we have an enemy who loves to scare us to death about anything he can, because when we are fearful, it means we’re not trusting God. What is your pocket of fear? Let’s look at some of the more common ones. Is money your pocket of fear? Are you fearful of not having enough money, of losing your job, of losing your house, of going bankrupt, or of not being able to afford what you need or want? Frankly, this was a pocket of fear for me. Satan would try to get me thinking, “What if something happens? How will you pay your bills? You could lose your house, all your assets, your retirement money, and everything you own. You could go through all that in no time flat. What in the world will you do then?” That was a pocket of fear for me. Here's what I learned to do with this pocket of fear, when it started to possess me. I would say to myself, “Okay, suppose all those things happen. Imagine the worst: No money, no income, no house, no savings, no retirement. You’d survive; somebody in the family or some close friend would take you in until you could get on your feet again. It would not destroy you.” Then I would make myself claim a promise from the Bible. This was an act of my will, not my emotions. Pretty soon I began to laugh at myself for allowing my thoughts to go to this pocket of fear. It was a stronghold that held me for far too long. I'm so glad by God's grace I emptied that pocket of fear. Some good promises to claim for this pocket of fear are: Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink: or about your body, what you will wear… Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they (Matthew 6:25-26)? And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). By exposing that pocket of fear to the light, by bringing it out in the open and forcing yourself to face the fear, it loses its teeth. It can’t bite you, because you’ve accepted the worst may and could happen, and if it does, God’s Word is still steadfast. He will deliver you. A good first principle in dealing with pockets of fear is to bring them out in the open and talk to God about them. Then find a verse of scripture to counteract them. Are you afraid of being alone? This fear can really take you down the wrong path, and some people are so possessed by it they’ve come to believe nothing is worse than being alone. I know; l used to be that way. I know many single people who are intelligent, have good jobs, and are very successful in many areas of their lives. But they are so fearful of being single forever that very often this pocket of fear causes them to stay in relationships far too long or allow relationships to develop which were obviously wrong from the beginning. Are you struggling with that pocket of fear—the fear of being alone or being single or not having someone to live your life with? If you allow this fear to continue, it will grow stronger and start to control your life. It could cause you to make very bad choices, and that could lead to misery. Will you bring this pocket of fear into the light? Think about it: What is so terrible about being by yourself? You can do what you want to do, spend your money the way you want to, eat when you want and what you want. Imagine what it would be like to be with the wrong person; aloneness is highly preferable to being with someone who is not right for you. Face the fact that you might be alone or single for the rest of your life. Get it out in the open and expose it to the light. Does it mean you cannot have a meaningful life? Of course not! This fear of being alone is an unreasonable fear. And here's the thing, the more you reach out to others and start helping others, the more your life will become so full of love and meaningful relationships, you’ll covet some time alone. Then, find some Scripture to remind you of God’s eternal presence in your life. Jesus promised he will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Nothing you can name will ever separate you from the love of God that you have in Christ (Romans 8:38-39). Concentrate on God’s promises to you, and defeat that pocket of fear of being, alone. It’s a monkey on your back, and you don’t need it. Are you fearful of rejection? For some people, being accepted, liked, and having the approval of others is more important than anything else, so that can easily lead to this fear of rejection. When we are fearful of being rejected, we allow that person or group who might reject us to have a lot of control over us. If I live in fear that you may reject me, you have a great deal of leverage in my life. I will do and say things to try to please you, to avoid upsetting you, and to gain your approval. Usually, the fear of rejection looks anemic when we bring it into the light. Are you willing to do that? Just expose it—admit you are fearful of being rejected and then ask yourself, “Why? Why is it so important for me to have the approval of this person? Why am I allowing them to have such power over me?” Probably the truthful answers to those questions will surprise you and you’ll see how foolish it is to live with that pocket of fear. Are you afraid of failing? When failing is fearful to you, it keeps you from doing very much because the road to success is filled with failures. Anything worth doing is worth doing wrong until you get it right! Fear of failure will rob you of many achievements. Or it will drive you to perfectionism and workaholism. Are you afraid of facing the reality that you can and will fail, just like everybody else? Is it difficult for you to believe you’re not as good as you think you are? Fear of failure may have a lot of pride wrapped up in it. It will be a great help if you’ll bring this fear into the open and expose it. Ask yourself, “So, what will happen if I fail? If I try and it doesn’t work out, will the world stop revolving?” The sooner you expose that fear to the light, the sooner you can find victory over it through God’s Word and prayer. Why is it important for us to deal with these pockets of fear? Because any area of fear is an area we are not trusting God, and without faith it is impossible to please God. When I have a pocket of fear, I know God is very displeased since it shows I don’t have faith in that area. You’ll remember Abraham had a pocket of fear that led to a very disgraceful episode in his life. How could such a man of faith have such a pocket of fear? Abraham found himself in this predicament because he was not totally obedient. God never intended for him to go to Egypt: that was Abraham’s idea to avoid a famine. Again, Abraham couldn’t trust God to feed them in a famine, so he came up with his own plan and did it his way by going to Egypt. One fear led to another, and that caused Abraham to sin. Disobedience will get us into these places of fear, and fear will cause us to disobey. John wrote there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear… The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18). Back to Jesus—loving him supremely, making him Lord in every area of our lives, focusing our thoughts on him, spending time in his presence, knowing his Word better and better. This will drive out those pockets of fear. What is your pocket of fear today? Will you bring it out in the open, confess it, find Scripture to counteract it, and then focus on loving Jesus more perfectly in that area? If so, that fear will have to go, and you’ll be free from the control it has over you now. Truth sets you free, and Jesus is Truth. I urge you to pursue his victory over the pockets of fear in your life. You will please him when you do.

Extravagance is generally considered an undesirable trait. It’s defined as excessive, wasteful, exorbitant. Yet, when I look at God, I see extravagance as one of his attributes. I ask you to consider with me how excessive God is in his dealings with you. Think about his mercy, which keeps you from having to pay the due penalty for your sins. The Bible tells us his mercies are new every day, and they last forever. He is just piling up mercy upon mercy each day, extravagant mercy, given to you without charge. Then there’s his grace, which goes beyond mercy to give you undeserved blessings, and Scripture tells us he makes all grace abound to us in all things at all times, giving us all we need, so that we will abound in every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8). Abundant, rich, extravagant grace. As for God’s forgiveness, he goes beyond forgiving and separates your sins from you as far as the east is from the west, then proceeds to forget. Can you forgive and forget? No, that’s God’s kind of forgiveness—excessive, extravagant. And think of this, not only do we have a God who allows us to come to him, we have a God who seeks for us. Can you imagine that? Then there’s the extravagance of his creation. The unending blend of colors, the profuse variety and quantity of flowers, the breathtaking sunsets, the fragrant and delicious smells, the lush beauty of nature. God is absolutely lavish in his creation. And then, not only are we allowed to worship him, we can call him Abba Father and come boldly to his throne. Not only can we accept him as our Savior, but he also comes to abide in us. The abundance of God’s love toward us is beyond our mental comprehension. When we consider God’s extravagance toward us, as an old song says, how can we do less than live for him completely—after all he's done for us.

I want to talk about Ichabod. How would you like to be named Ichabod? It’s not a lovely name, is it, but what it means is even worse. Ichabod means “The glory is departed.” In 1 Samuel 4 we read Phinehas’ wife named their son Ichabod, because the glory of God had departed from Israel. As I thought about that, I wondered if my name is ever Ichabod. In our vernacular today, we might say, “Are you a has-been?” Could it ever be said of me that the glory God has given to me through Jesus Christ is no longer present in my life? When Phinehas’ wife named her son Ichabod, it was because of the sin of Israel. They had disobeyed the Lord, and the ark of God had been captured. The ark was where God met them, where they talked to him, and where they received guidance. And their enemies had captured it because of their sin and disobedience. We can be spiritual “has-beens” when our lives are full of disobedience. I can think of so many Christians I know who used to be mightily used of God. It could be said of them that they have been this or that for God, but now the glory has departed. Through sin and disobedience, Ichabod is now their name. Could it ever be said of us that we have been in the past a person of love and compassion, but it’s no longer true? Have we lost the zeal we once had for Jesus? As I thought about this, I stopped and asked God if any of his glory has departed from me because of my lack of love or zeal? Have I become a “has-been,” an Ichabod? In Christ we are given the right to be called the sons of God. That is glorious. We become the righteousness of Christ and are partakers of his holiness. That’s really incredible. And yet, we can lose the glory of all we have received from God if our lives are not continually in close contact with the Lord. It takes a daily commitment, a disciplined life of time in God’s Word, an absolute set of our will to obey God and live by his principles, regardless. Without that, we can expect the glory to depart. No, for sure none of us would want to be called Ichabod—the glory has departed. Is God’s glory still evident in your life to all who know you? If not, you can be restored to that original glory. Don’t let your name be Ichabod.

Stop and think: Where in Scripture do you find the term self-esteem? How about self-love? I’ll save you some trouble; you won’t find those terms in Scripture. They, along with self-actualization and a few others, are buzzwords of our contemporary society. Of course, there are many words and phrases we use today which are not used in Scripture, and vice-versa, so the issue is the meaning and philosophy that has grown up around those terms. Scripture gives a different perspective of these self issues. The only mention of self-love in the Bible is that we should love our neighbor as ourselves, which simply assumes we will naturally love ourselves. It is not a directive to love ourselves. There aren’t too many people who don’t truly love themselves quite well. Self-esteem is the idea of having a high regard for one’s self. While we should know clearly that we are important to God, we are valuable, and we are special and worthwhile because God has declared that to be true, we cannot lose sight of the truth that our value is not found in ourselves. I think we tend to attribute too much to poor self-esteem, and thereby believe if we can think better of ourselves, our problems will go away. Trying to feel good about something that by nature is not good, is a losing battle. That’s a different mindset than having respect for who we are in Christ and therefore appreciating your “self.” Maybe self-appreciation is a better term for us than self-esteem. The subtleties between the two are important. Scripture teaches us our best self-efforts are like filthy rags to God. I think of Philippians 2, which says we should esteem or consider others more important than ourselves. Paul wrote to the Romans that our old self was crucified with Christ. Jesus taught us to deny ourselves and take up our cross. That’s the biblical view of self we’ve somehow lost in our humanistic society where self has been elevated to the highest place of importance. As Christians, we need to have our minds re-shaped into biblical molds. The Christian’s identity search should end forever with the incredible realization that we are, through his grace, now called the children of God. Amazing, absolutely overwhelming. That self-identity will carry us until we see him face to face.

It has almost become a cliche to hear people say they’re seeking to know “who they are.” This lack of identity and purpose is real when we do not have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. If you don’t know God has created you, you are important to him, and your life has significance in his sight, then it’s easy to see why you would be searching for a meaningful identity. However, I see that same search in the lives of many Christians. Indeed, there were some years in my life that were consumed with a desire to find myself and know myself. If it is true that our union with Christ brings meaning and purpose into our lives, why are so many Christians still looking for meaning? Here are my thoughts. I believe the humanistic philosophy of self-focus has penetrated our Christian teaching and caused us to look at ourselves and to ourselves for answers; caused us to leave biblical principles and follow human psychological theories to find this meaning and purpose; caused us to place far too much emphasis on the self-issues of the day. You can see how this could happen, because certainly the gospel is the good news that each individual is important to God; therefore, teachings which magnify the individual can easily be mistaken to have some biblical basis. There is a distinct line between the value of individuals and the magnification of self. The “self” issues of today’s philosophy are very alluring. But when we are consumed with self, camouflaged as it might be by words which sound good to our ears, we are trapped into a self-focus, which can be very confusing as well as damaging. Friends, you won’t find a self-focus taught in Scripture. The only hyphenated self-word I’ve found in any Bible translation is self-control, which is quite different from self-love, self-confidence, self-actualization, etc. Our identity is not found in making ourselves feel better about ourselves. The knowledge and esteem we need for ourselves come as by-products of the Lordship of Jesus Christ in our lives. There is abundant evidence all around us that self-magnification hasn’t worked.

It is very common to hear people say they’re trying to “find themselves,” to discover their identity. As I’ve attempted to understand exactly what that means, it seems to be a result of the self-focus, which is indicative of today’s humanistic, post-modern society. And it also seems to be a way of expressing our innermost need to know our individual lives do have some meaning, that we have a purpose in being here. We’re not some gigantic coincidence of nature. That the joy and pain and happiness and suffering and peace and turmoil we experience are all part of some understandable plan. The Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 1 that every person is born with a God-consciousness: For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse (Romans 1:20). Everyone knows instinctively there has to be a Master Planner, and our existence has to have more meaning than a haphazard coincidence. However, until we know God through Jesus Christ, that master plan remains a mystery. What else is there for a person who doesn’t know Christ except to try anything they can to discover who they are, why they are, and what their existence means. The great news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is we all belong here. No Christ-follower needs to go around looking for an identity. God’s Word gives us clear answers. Once you’ve been born from above, you know you are a child of God, created by him in an orderly, planned process. He knows and cares for you individually. You are important to him; therefore, your life has meaning. As you go out into the world each day, be aware of the people around you who are trying to find who they are because they don’t know Jesus. Be ready to share with them this great and glorious truth, that our lives have meaning when we are rightly related to God through Jesus.

Galatians tells us exactly what the fruit of the Spirit is. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23). To answer the question of what it means to “be the fruit,” I want to look at each of them and offer some suggestions of how you implement this fruit in your life. It is the fruit of the Spirit, so obviously it must be a Spirit-empowered endeavor. But it won't just happen unless we as disciples of Jesus Christ determine to “be the fruit” each day. Let's start with that first one: Love. Here's what someone wrote, and I think it is a great way to be the fruit of love: True love needs a personal touch. Here’s a way to show people you love them in an unexpected way. Get a package of blank greeting cards and make a list of friends and family—especially the ones you don’t see often. Write them a short note that shares how much you appreciate them. Send your cards out at random far away from any holidays or birthday. Let the little love note surprise them! Now, that is a practical way to be the fruit of love. And cards have a greater impact than email, so spend a little money, buy a few stamps, and surprise some people with words of love. Next is joy. Joy should be the trademark of a Christian. When you are joyful, your strength increases, because the joy of the Lord is your strength. There is so much negativity and bad news in our world today that if you're not careful, you can let the enemy steal your joy. That's one of his favorite tactics. What's been stealing your joy? Or I might ask, who has been stealing your joy? Whatever or whoever it is, realize it is a satanic flaming arrow coming your way from the enemy, so put on your full armor and refuse to lose your joy. How? Sing good songs all day long. Find the humor in your day. Laugh a lot; laughter is incredibly good for you. Look for reasons to be happy, to be joyful. Now we come to peace. Jesus said he would give us his peace, his unique peace that is strong enough for the toughest circumstances. Have you ever gone to Jesus in prayer and said, “Please give me the peace you promised. I need peace.” I heard a statistic 40% of all people in our country today are in some kind of depression or despair. Have you noticed how many people are searching for some kind of peace? Remember, Jesus' peace is not like the peace the world offers. That peace is a band aid; it seeks to make you feel better with a temporary pain killer, but it just makes things worse. Peter wrote we should seek peace and pursue it. Maybe you need to learn to take peace breaks when your day is going south. Just stop, find an alone spot, refocus your mind on Jesus, quote a verse to yourself and pray for the peace Jesus promised to give you. Pursue peace; go for it. Be the fruit—be peaceful! Forbearance is next in this list of the fruit of the Spirit. We call it patience, and it can be one of the most difficult fruits for us to practice, at least it is for me. But there are so many opportunities in your day to practice patience, and patience takes practice. Pick one situation where you find it particularly difficult to be patient, and start working on it. When you go to the store, stand in the longest line to check out and make yourself wait. Talk to yourself, like: “Just cool it. This is not a big deal. You can wait a few minutes—it doesn't change your life.” Something like that. That is bringing your thoughts into captivity and learning to re-direct your thought patterns. And it is a good way to discipline yourself; to be the fruit—to be patient. Maybe you could use driving as a way for you to practice patience. Be kind to bad or slow drivers. Don’t yell or call other drivers names when you can’t get into the lane you need to. Keep at it until you see a difference in the way you drive and how you feel when you step out of the car. Go, be the fruit! Kindness is next, and we all know what that means, right? No doubt, like me, you're generally pretty kind to people you don't live with, strangers, or people in places of authority. Your words are likely kind and pleasant, but what about the people closest to you? I remember how, before my husband passed, if my words or the tone of my voice were not kind, he wouldn't let me get away with it. He would nicely confront me, and that was good! And you know, that's one way to be more kind—to be the fruit. Ask someone to hold you accountable and not allow you to get by with unkind words or actions. I discovered I simply was unaware that my words or actions sounded unkind. I never intended it but once it was brought to my attention, then I started to notice how quickly I can speak or respond, and how I can come across as unkind. Now that I'm aware, I am much more intentional about making sure my words are kind and sound kind. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32). I would guess Paul wrote this to the believers in Ephesus because they needed to learn to “be the fruit”—to practice kindness toward each other. Goodness is next. How do you practice goodness? Peter wrote, for this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge (2 Peter 1:5). Make every effort, he says. Isn't he saying, “Be the fruit”? How many times did you tell your children, “Be good!”? And somehow instinctively they knew what you meant, even at very young ages. Being good is directly connected to behavior, right? You do what is good. Here's an idea of how you can add to your faith goodness. Determine to be a better listener. Who needs a listening ear? I'm not talking about giving counsel or solving problems. Just listening. That is so good and it is so helpful to someone going through a difficult time. And of course, once you listen, you can always offer to pray for that person. That would be very good. Faithfulness is a requirement for all Christ-followers. Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth: Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful (1 Corinthians 4:2). Faithful to God—first and foremost—faithful to reading the Bible and prayer, faithful to church attendance and involvement. Faithful to your mate and friends. Keeping promises and being dependable. Would people who know you describe you as faithful or dependable? This is one fruit we can all be, regardless of how smart you are or how educated or experienced you may or may not be. Being faithful is a daily decision you make. Don't promise carelessly. Under promise and over deliver is a very good motto to live by. Then keep a record of all you're responsible to do, every place you're supposed to be, etc., etc. Don't trust your memory. Faithfulness is required—not optional. If this is an area of challenge for you, pray much about it and determine each day to be the fruit—be faithful! Gentleness is next in this list of the fruit of the Spirit. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1). And you'll remember our Lord Jesus described himself as gentle and lowly of heart. Frankly, the gentleness of Jesus is one thing about him I truly treasure because when he deals with me—and happens often—he always does so with such gentleness. Do you think of yourself as a gentle person? I don't mean wimpy or timid, but gentle; gentle in your words, reactions, facial expressions, tone of your voice? It is a very lovely fruit, and people will greatly appreciate it when you show gentleness to them. There's not a lot of it in our harsh world today, so be the fruit—be gentle. Self-control is putting discipline and restraints in your life to keep you from harm. Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control (Proverbs 25:28). Self-control is not allowing yourself to indulge in things that are not good for you—such as certain food, what you watch on television, what kind of conversations you engage in, etc. I remember a friend of mine, many years ago, was addicted to watching a trashy soap opera every day. She taped it while she was at work and the first thing she did each evening was watch it. God began to convict her of this, and she began to practice self-control. She stopped recording the program. She said it was really hard the first day to walk out of her apartment without turning on the recording, but she exercised self-control and kept it up. That was the beginning of a new vibrant relationship with the Lord, and she has gone on to serve Christ in amazing ways. But it took self-control to turn her back on what she knew was not good for her—for her thinking and her mind—and once she did, it was a marvelous breakthrough for her. By God's grace she broke that bad habit and through self-control, started growing into the outstanding woman she is today. She learned self-control. Is there something in your life that has you in bondage—something not good for you? If there is, I'm certain you can identify it right away. It could be something you watch or read, a place you go, or some eating habits. You can't imagine how freeing it will be for you when you can be the fruit—exercise self-control by God's grace and put that bad habit out of your life. That's my challenge for all of us today: Be the fruit! Memorize this passage from Galatians 5, pray it into your life, put reminders around you, and work on the areas that are the most challenging for you. But don't just talk about it or give verbal consent to the importance of bearing the fruit of the Spirit. Do it! Be the fruit! Paul wrote that against such, there is no law! Nobody can stop you from being the fruit and there is no greater testimony for your faith in Jesus Christ.

I'm examining, “Can this job be saved?” Here's the last situation to consider. Your manager doesn’t know the job, the company, the product, or the customers as well as you do. He is a young man recently promoted to the position, but with little experience or skills to do the job right. He makes a great many mistakes in dealing with customers, violates some company policies (through ignorance), and irritates other departments because of his lack of knowledge and expertise. Frequently he asks you to bail him out, but he never seems to learn and makes the same mistakes over and over. You realize the department morale is rapidly deteriorating, and you’ve lost some good customers because of his ineptness. You feel strongly something needs to be done for the good of the company. What should you do? This is not an easy question, because you're not in authority in this situation, right? And for you to do anything to correct it, it seems you would have to go over your boss's head to higher management. Is that the right thing to do? It's a risky thing to do, to say the least. But on the other hand, for the good of the company and its customers, don't you have a responsibility to do whatever you can to correct this situation? Jesus told his disciples, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16). In this situation I believe that means trying to find ways to make things better without overstepping your boundaries or making the boss look bad. I would begin by having a private conversation with the boss, carefully noting some issues have arisen, and offering your help. Perhaps you can even suggest taking some of the workload off his desk, as long as you don't seem threatening. He might really appreciate some behind-the-scenes help because he probably knows he's not doing a good job. A time could come when all else has failed and you believe others need to know what's happening. But that should be a last resort and should be done with great caution, not with a vindictive and critical attitude.

Can this job be saved? For example, take this situation. You are the human resources director for a company that does a lot of business with the government. As a result, you have to complete government forms and abide by government rules in order to secure and keep your contract. Currently, you are required to complete a form which asks if you're in compliance with some of their rules—and in fact, you are not. Policies and procedures need to be changed in order to comply. You turn the forms into the president without your signature, noting the lack of compliance. Instead of agreeing to the needed changes which take time and cost money, the president insists you complete the forms, making up numbers and facts to satisfy the government requirements and sign and submit them. After all, he tells you, nobody will know the difference! You explain you can't do that as a matter of integrity. He is furious, grabs the forms, and says he will complete and sign them himself. What do you do now? The question is, do you have further responsibility to alert anyone that the forms are not correct, or have you done all you can and should do? Certainly, taking this kind of stand could put your job in jeopardy. So, do you make matters worse by any further action on your part? Every situation would have to be carefully considered. In most cases, I think simply refusing to be a part of any deceptive action is where your duty ends. But there could be situations where safety or other bad consequences might cause you to speak up against this illegal action. And it may be true this job cannot be saved. You could lose your job as a result. Peter wrote about unjust suffering, and he said, but if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:19-21). Suffering unjustly for the sake of what is right gets God's attention. It's the same kind of suffering Jesus endured, and he will give you the grace to endure as well. None of us asks for suffering, but if it is unjust, believe me, God will have the last word, and you will receive his favor.

Did you ever work in a situation that seemed like mission impossible? I'm asking the question: Can this job be saved? When you do find yourself working in a very stressful environment, as a Christ-follower, what can you do? What should you do to make the best of a bad situation? Here's another situation to consider. Your departmental manager is not liked by any of the employees. She is very unfair, discourteous to everyone, and in addition, doesn’t perform her own duties well. Everyone in the department talks about her in derogatory ways all the time. Nobody can figure out how she keeps her job. You’ve been part of that malicious talk at times. As a Christian, you’ve now decided you don’t want to be a part of that character assassination toward your manager (even though she deserves it!). How will you keep from getting caught up in this office gossip? What could you do to change the climate? Gossip is a vicious and deadly disease, and once it gets started, it is not easy to stop. There's no question a Christ-follower should never be a part of this kind of malicious talk. In Romans 1, malice is described as wickedness, along with envy, murder, strife, and God-haters. God doesn't take malicious talk lightly; it is sin. Step one is to remove yourself from these conversations. Make it clear you won't participate in malicious talk about anyone, including the boss. You probably won't have to make a statement to that effect; the fact you don't do it any longer will speak for itself. Then use every opportunity you can to change the conversation. Sometimes one person can have a good influence on the corporate climate. Ask God to help you see your manager through his eyes, and reach out to her in some way, with encouragement and support. That kind of action on your part will not go unnoticed by your coworkers. Will it change their behavior? Who knows—it might, but it will certainly make a statement about your integrity and your testimony for Jesus.

Can this job be saved? I'm examining five different job situations and asking: As Christians, what should be our course of action if we find ourselves in such a predicament? Here is today's situation. You have recently been promoted and now work closely with a new coworker who is a single man. He’s very pleasant to work with, and you get along fine with him. However, you’ve noticed your husband is not too excited about this new job, and it seems to be because of your close working relationship with this single man. How can you handle this situation so you don’t lose the promotion but still assure your husband he has nothing to worry about this coworker? I might begin with asking what has caused your husband to have any uneasiness about your working relationship with this man? Is it because your husband tends to be the jealous kind, or have you talked about your coworker so often or so favorably it has aroused his feelings of jealousy? Possibly a change in how you speak of him would solve the problem. If it's a little more complicated than that, you must decide what is more important to you: A peaceful relationship with your husband or keeping your promotion. His fear or jealousy may be totally inappropriate and unfounded, but if that's where he's coming from, you should do whatever you can to allay those fears. Have an honest conversation with your husband. Tell him you are willing to forfeit this job if that's what will resolve this issue. You might consider inviting some coworkers to your home, including this man, so your husband can see for himself that your relationship is purely professional. Above all else, don't allow anything to start to replace your feelings and love for your husband. Don't let the enemy get his foot in this door and try to ruin your marriage. Believe me, many illicit relationships have started just this innocently. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23). This is a time to closely guard your heart.

I want to present some job situations that are touchy and difficult, and ask the question: Can this job be saved? If you're a Christ-follower, then God has you there for some good purpose. When I ask the question—Can this job be saved?—what I'm really asking is, “What is the course of action a Christian should take in order to resolve the issue or make things better?” Here's situation number one. You work with a person who knows you are a Christian. And it seems this person makes a point of trying to offend you with foul language and crude jokes. Just today this person told a crude joke in your presence, and when you didn’t laugh, they said sarcastically, “I guess you don’t get it, huh? She doesn’t get this kind of humor.” You were so angry you almost cried. But somehow you bit your tongue, gave him or her a look, and didn’t say anything. What should you do now? Should you get tough and demand they stop it or just keep taking it? First, what biblical principles apply in such a situation? Here are two that come to mind: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). Therefore render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God's (Matthew 22:21). Can this job be saved? Sometimes Jesus puts people into our lives who are not comfortable for us and who do offend us, but they're watching how we respond. Anyone who purposely focuses on trying to offend you is more than likely fighting a battle inside, often under conviction, and releasing their inner struggle in unhealthy ways. The question is how can you live at peace with this person never taking a stand against the offense? First, don't see this person as the enemy; look at him or her through God's eyes. Something's going on in his or her heart that causes him or her to lash out at you. It would not be wrong to have a private conversation with this person, asking what can be done to relieve the tension between you, but do so without pointing fingers of accusation. Never be ashamed of your Christian principles—you don't have to apologize for your refusal to take part in those offensive conversations or language. But remember, this person's real problem is not that he or she makes you uncomfortable or offends you; the real issue is this person needs Jesus desperately, and God has put you in this person's life to be an example of Jesus to him or her.

It is a bit of a paradox, I agree, to be both contented and not contented. Maybe it's helpful to say we should accept who we are but never settle for where we are. Have you discovered that when you are not happy with who you are, you inflict great suffering on yourself? It causes you to be envious of others, to resent the success of others, to fight to get ahead of others, to be dependent on the approval of others. All kinds of problems arise when you cannot accept who you are. Have you come to that place yet, where you can truly say, “I like the way God has created me”? Oh, I hope so. It is not prideful to appreciate God’s handiwork in you. Rather it brings glory to God, just as when you appreciate a work of art you bring honor to the artist. Today I want to point out three other areas we need to learn to accept but not settle. Your Gifts and Talents Have you accepted the way God has gifted you? The Bible clearly teaches us each believer has been given definite and recognizable gifts or talents, which are resources to use in serving the Lord. First Corinthians 12 and Romans 12 are good chapters to study if you’re not familiar with these gifts. Once you know how God has gifted you, then accept the role you’ve been given with great joy. The things God has gifted you to do are the things that make you the happiest and bring the most satisfaction. You’ll find great joy when you’re functioning the way God created you to. For example, if you have the gift of encouragement, your greatest joy will be to write notes, help someone out, listen to a heartache—lots of things like that which an encourager does so well. It won’t be a chore or a duty because it’s your gift; it will be a delight. If your gift is administration, you’ll love organizing and doing all the behind-the-scenes things that are so important. If your gift is mercy, you will naturally have a sympathetic heart toward hurting people and find yourself trying to help them. Using your God-given gifts and talents will bring you satisfaction, and you will do those things with enthusiasm and excellence. But here’s the other side of the coin: Never be satisfied with your gifts the way they are. Jesus told a parable about three people who were given talents to use. One had five talents, one two talents, and one had only one. When the master returned and demanded an accounting as to how each one used his talents, he gave strong approval to the first two because they multiplied their talents. But to the man with only one, he gave a grave condemnation because he hid his talent and did not multiply it. You'll find that parable in Matthew 25. What Jesus taught us there is when we use the gifts and talents he has given us, he will give us more. I’ve been amazed to see this in my own life. I’m telling you, years ago I could never have imagined being able to do some of the ministries and new ideas God has allowed me to be involved with. But God is true to his Word, and when we start using the talent we have, God is faithful to give us more and increase our effectiveness. Accept the talents and gifts God has invested in you and then set out to grow them as much as possible. You do that by using them any way you can. Jump in the water and get wet. Often, I’m asked how I began my ministry, which is now heard on over 400 radio stations internationally and reaches out in many other ways. It began in my home in Chicago as a Bible study for five or six women. That Bible study lasted several years, and to this day is one of the sweetest, best memories I have. From that I started a small ministry at my church and became involved in other ministries there, serving in various ways. And much to my amazement, the doors opened. Now we have a much bigger outreach. But it all began where I was—in my home. And little by little God gave me opportunities to develop my gifts. God keeps his word, and he has promised when we are faithful with the gifts and talents we have, he will give us more. Start where you are, with whatever you have to offer, and see where God can take it. You will be amazed. Your Intelligence Another thing about ourselves we need to be content with is our intelligence. There’s no doubt God gave some people more brain power than others. Do you feel like you’ve been shortchanged in this department, and you don’t understand why God didn’t make you real smart? God needs some real smart brainy types, but he needs a lot of us ordinary types as well. Some of you had to fight for everything you learned in school and good grades did not come easily. Others could cram for a test at the last minute and ace it. It may not seem fair, but God has reasons for these differences in IQ. We need to accept who we are when it comes to intelligence. But don’t settle for where you are. Keep pushing the envelope to learn as much as possible. Scientists tell us we use only a miniscule portion of the potential in the human brain. And what I’ve discovered is that when I push myself mentally, my brain power seems to increase. I have a friend who began her college career in her mid-life, while she was working full-time. She always felt like she didn't have what it takes to complete college. She thought she wasn't smart enough, but she discovered she could handle college level classes, she could do well in them, and she was so joyful about what she was learning. She didn't settle for where she was, and by God's grace, she improved her mind and gained knowledge that enabled her to minister more effectively. You may not have the highest IQ around, but you’ve got far more brain power than you realize. Don’t settle for where you are intellectually; become a student and continually work at learning more. You can improve your mind and knowledge whether in school or not. Good reading habits will make a huge difference. And for those of you with lots of brain power, remember that to whom much is given much will be required, so be sure you’re making very good use of all that mental capacity. Your Circumstances Let me mention one last thing where we need to be content, and that is with our circumstances. Paul wrote: I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances (Philippians 4:11). Have you learned that lesson yet? Just think about the freedom you and I would have if we could truly say with Paul: “I am content with my circumstances.” I think of a friend whom I admire greatly. She worked for Moody Radio in Chicago for many years and is a gracious, lovely, talented woman. Due to a work-related accident, her husband has been disabled most of their long-married life. When that happened, overnight her dreams of what her life would be like died, as she was forced to become a working woman and raise their children, while helping her disabled husband. When I think of the years she did that, I marvel at her attitude. She never complained; she learned to be content amid very difficult circumstances. And even when more family problems were poured on her head, she continued to trust God and accept what was coming her way. Through all the years she never lost heart or gave up or ran away—all of which I would have been tempted to do. Instead, she contributed immensely on her job and improved herself and did the most anyone could do under the circumstances. She comes to my mind as a woman who has accepted the circumstances of her life, yet they have not beaten her into the ground. She has grown, contributed, and made a beautiful life for herself and many others. So often when our circumstances are out of sorts—we’ve got the wrong job, we live in the wrong place, we don’t have enough money, we don’t have good health, or whatever—we are then tempted to waste our lives and squander our opportunities because of our adverse circumstances. If that’s where you are today, I urge you to start praying daily that God will teach you to be content with your circumstances and help you accept what is coming your way right now. But at the same time, don’t settle for life in the doldrums just because the circumstances are rotten. You can live above them and find that those difficult circumstances of your life can lead to growth, service, and joy right in the midst of the problems. Accept but don’t settle; be contented and discontented. I hope you’ll remember you can hold both in balance, because I believe it will help you. It will help you to be more content and appreciative of who you are, just the way God made you, and where your life is right now. But it will also remind you never to let yourself off the hook because “that’s the way you are,” but always strive to be all that you can be for the glory of Jesus Christ.

Do you have some giants in your life right now—some people or situations that are way bigger than you are? Some obstacles you don't know how to overcome? We all have them at times, and I've noticed usually God leads us to fight the giants in our lives in the most unusual ways. It almost always goes against human logic. We must learn to walk by faith and trust the Holy Spirit within us to give us guidance, and then not doubt it when others say “That’s not the way to do it,” or “Nobody has ever done it that way before.” There are times when we should ignore what others tell us. If you remember when Jesus was going to heal Jairus’ daughter, his friends came to him and said, “Don’t bother, she’s dead already.” But Jesus ignored what they said and told Jairus, Don’t be afraid; just believe (Mark 5:36). If you’re facing a giant in your life right now, use your slingshot like David did when he faced Goliath; don’t try to wear someone else’s armor. And ignore those who would tell you otherwise. Maybe the battle is over, and you are victorious. Remember what David said before he fought Goliath: All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s and he will give all of you into our hands (1 Samuel 17:47). When your battle is over and God has given you victory, please remember it was the Lord’s battle, not yours, and he gave you the skill, talent, and wisdom to know how to fight and be victorious. Give him all the glory. I think we can all relate to David. Because he was who he was—the way God had created him—and used the skills he had learned, he killed the giant. I hope you'll remember this illustration from David's life to inspire you to use your slingshot—God's gifts in you to do what he has called you to do. Go into the battle without fear, knowing it's not your battle. It is the Lord's, and you can face that giant equipped by God to win the victory.

Did you ever think about this: David had to be able to kill Goliath, because that was the deed which propelled him to eventually become the King. It made his reputation and paved the way for God’s plan for him. But it began in those lonely fields as a shepherd boy, slinging stones from a slingshot day in and day out and learning how to kill big enemies in unconventional ways. When facing Goliath, David was prepared for the job. He used his creative thinking and refused to try to do it Saul’s way, which would have meant defeat. He used his slingshot—a most unlikely weapon, but God gave him that skill to prepare him for this incredible challenge. He could kill a giant with a slingshot. Where are you now? In the fields, all alone, being prepared by God for what is coming? David didn’t know, when he was tending sheep, that God was preparing him to be King. He had no idea. But he did that job well, and while he was doing it, he learned to do other things—like play a harp, write poetry, aim a slingshot well, and tackle an enemy of overwhelming odds. Maybe you’re on the battleground and your Goliath is staring at you, taunting you. Are you tempted to fight in someone else’s armor? Remember, if God has brought you to that battlefield, he has a plan to make you victorious; but don’t get out of yourself. David knew how to stay within himself and not try to mimic others or be intimidated when others told him what he should do or how he should do it. David knew God had equipped him to slay this giant, and he wasn’t afraid to try. It wasn’t a matter of pride or conceit; he just knew he had a skill from God that now God wanted to use. You remember David's brother was angry that David would try to kill Goliath and told him to just go back home. When others tell you can’t do it or to quit or they belittle you in some way, remember David. If he had allowed his brother’s remarks to get to him, he would have turned around and gone back to the sheep. He never would have defeated Goliath. But he was willing to step out even in the face of his brother’s protests and jealousy. If God has told you to use a slingshot, then use it. Don’t let the “Sauls” in your life dictate how you are to attack your giant if you know God has given you directions. Many times, well-meaning people will give us poor advice. Certainly, Saul thought it would be best for David to wear all that armor, but David knew better. A conventional one-on-one sword battle would have wiped David out in a few seconds. Learn from David to use your slingshot for the honor and glory of God.

Use your own slingshot! It comes from David's life. When he volunteered to fight nine-foot Goliath, King Saul offered him his heavy armor and a sword. But David knew he couldn't win wearing someone else's armor. It didn't fit him and he couldn't move in it. Instead, he chose his slingshot—the tool he knew, the skill he had practiced—and he defeated the giant. I have to relearn that lesson often. God gifts each of us uniquely. It's a mistake to try to do what God has called us to do in someone else's armor. It's so easy to look at someone successful and think, that's what I should be doing. But God has given you certain gifts—and not others—on purpose. Don't minimize what he has entrusted to you. Use what God has given you. Do what you do well. Don't try to impress people or copy someone else's style. Every time I've tried to do God's work someone else's way, I've fallen flat. I have to lean into the strengths God placed in me and I encourage you not to underestimate what God can do through you using your own slingshot. Remember, David's skill was developed in obscurity—out in the fields, caring for sheep. In that quiet, unnoticed place, God was preparing him. He practiced with that slingshot until he was an expert. What looked small and unimportant became the very thing God used to bring victory. Looking back, I can see how God used even the hidden seasons of my life to prepare me for what I'm doing now. He wastes nothing. Polish your gifts. Develop your skills. Trust how God has wired you. And then step forward—using your own slingshot.

You remember the famous story of David and Goliath. I think there's a lot we can learn from this story. David visited the battlefield, where the Israelites were fighting the Philistines—and frankly, they were doomed to lose because nobody would go up against Goliath the giant. David was appalled that they were intimidated by a giant, because after all, they were God's people, and God would give them the victory. Finally, King Saul sent for him because David had volunteered to fight Goliath. Of course, Saul was reluctant to let him do this, knowing it was highly unlikely David could. But David insisted and told Saul how he had killed a lion and a bear. He said, The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine (1 Samuel 17:37). Saul relented; after all, nobody else was willing to even try, and then Saul tried to tell David how to do it. “Here,” he said, “put on my armor, take my sword.” David immediately realized he couldn’t use Saul’s armor. I cannot go in these, he said to Saul, because I am not used to them (1 Samuel 17:39). He took them off, found his five smooth stones, got his slingshot in his hand, and faced Goliath. You know the story: He takes aim at Goliath’s head, hits him in the right place, and knocks him out. Then he cuts off Goliath’s head with his own sword, and claims victory. How did David defeat Goliath? By using his slingshot. You don't kill giants with slingshots—right? But that's what David was good at; that’s how he had defeated the lion and the bear; that’s the gift God had given him. David was smart enough to realize trying to do what God wanted him to do in someone else’s armor would lead to disaster. Now, think about some lessons we can learn from this. When you try to do your work to please people; when you try to copy others and do what they’re doing, it's like putting on Saul's armor—you can't do it. But when God has given you a gift, skill, or opportunity, don’t underestimate God’s power in you, doing it the way he’s gifted you. Use your slingshot. It may not be the conventional way to do things, but if that’s how God is leading you, don’t be intimidated by what others think. Go with what God has given you.

Are you happy with who you are? Do you often wish you were someone else or had a different personality? Are you envious of other people’s gifts or abilities or accomplishments? No doubt all of us struggle at times with accepting ourselves the way we are, and sadly some people spend their entire lives wishing they were someone else. Living a life of envy and disappointment in yourself is living in misery. I want to examine learning to accept and appreciate who you are—the way God has created you. I'm calling this “Use Your Own Slingshot,” and that comes from the story of David and Goliath. Off and on throughout my life, I've found myself trying to be what someone else wanted me to be. Do you have that problem too? At this stage in my life, it seems to hit me periodically and unexpectedly. Before I realize what’s happening, I’m comparing myself to others or wishing I were different or trying to be what someone else thinks I should be. Symptoms of this disease are uneasiness in your spirit, feeling guilty about something but you’re not quite sure what, knots in your stomach, and a general sense of gloom and despair. Can you recognize some of these things in yourself? Maybe, like me, it hits you only occasionally, or you may indeed find yourself continually consumed with this disease of not being satisfied with who you are. David found himself in a situation of being urged to be like someone else, but he knew he had to be himself. You remember how David volunteered to go up against the giant, Goliath. Nobody else in the entire Israeli army had been willing to face him, even the experienced fighters. After all, Goliath was over nine feet tall, so you can hardly blame them. David was on an errand to the fighting field, to bring food to his brothers, and he heard Goliath making his daily challenge, which he had been doing for forty days. He was goading them and taunting them. When David heard this, he essentially said, “Why are we allowing this bully to stand there and make threats against the Lord’s army? Why hasn’t someone stood up to him?” His brother, Eliab told him to go back where he came from and tend the sheep. He belittled David and insulted him. After all, he didn’t want to be shown up by his baby brother. But David didn’t let Eliab intimidate him. Even at this young age, you can see the strong faith of David in his God and his confidence that God could deliver them from Goliath.

Do you ever feel pulled in two directions? On one hand, we know from Scripture we're to accept who we are in Christ. We're told not to compare ourselves to others or envy who they are or what they have. We know we were uniquely designed by God, created on purpose, and that we should appreciate his handiwork in us. But on the other hand—if you're like me—you also know there are things about yourself you shouldn't just accept. There are flaws. Weaknesses. Immaturities. We see others who seem to have it more together, and we feel the gap between who we are and who we ought to be. Here's the dilemma: How do we accept who we are when we know we're not yet all we should be? How can we believe we're special just as we are, while knowing we still have so far to grow? It almost seems like mission impossible. It appears to be a paradox with no solution. On the one hand we're admonished to rejoice and celebrate who we are and on the other hand, we're aware daily of our inadequacies and shortcomings. But here's what I'm learning: I must be content with who God made me to be—while remaining lovingly dissatisfied with where I am in my growth. Contentment with my design. Holy discontentment with my development. Or to say it another way: accept who I am, but don't settle for where I am. That understanding has brought me tremendous freedom. I can appreciate who I am in Christ and still pursue becoming more like him. Let's look at a couple of areas where this tension shows up. Your Body Scripture tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God formed us in our mother's womb. He doesn't make mistakes. And yet—when we look in the mirror, do we see his craftsmanship or only the flaws? “Oh, if only my hair were different.” “If only my face were shaped another way.” “If only my body were thinner, taller, smaller, firmer.” Now, tell the truth: Don't we often just focus on the negatives? Our culture has convinced us there's only one acceptable shape for a beautiful body. And we've paid dearly for believing that lie. So many women have harmed themselves chasing an image that was never meant to define beauty. I mean—look at the evidence: God clearly loves variety. Just look around at all the different looks, types, and shapes! How dull this world would be if we all came in the same size, shape, or color. My dear friend, Fran, was barely five feet tall. All her life she was the shortest one in the room. But that small stature became a beautiful tool in God's hands. She was never intimidating. People instantly felt at ease with her. She could make you laugh in seconds. She never met a stranger, and as a result, she was able to authentically and easily talk with people about her faith. Many women came to saving faith because they became friends with Fran. God used her size and personality together in powerful ways. Her height was not a mistake. Your body is not a mistake either. Accept it. Thank God for it. See it as his design. But don't settle. Care for it. Strengthen it. Discipline it. Keep it healthy so it can serve Jesus well. We don't chase perfection, but we do pursue stewardship. Our physical well-being affects our effectiveness. We want to run our race well and finish strong. Very recently I was struck by this passage from Psalm 92: The righteous flourish like the palm tree… They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the LORD is upright (Psalm 92:12-14). As the years pile up, your body goes through changes. But I love the truth that we can still bear fruit even as we age and be full of sap and green. I don’t want to run out of gas. I don’t want to be prohibited from ministry because my body fails me. Now, there are some physical problems over which you and I have no control. But our behavior and discipline largely determine how good we're going to feel, how long we're going to last, how clearly we can think, how fast we can react, how much we can accomplish. You don’t want to settle for anything less than God’s best for you—right? Accept the body God gave you—but don't settle for just getting by, for neglect. Your Personality The same is true of your personality. God does not make cookie-cutter Christians—aren't you glad? Some of us are outgoing; some are reserved. Some lead naturally; others support faithfully. Some are talkers; some are listeners. Each personality carries strengths. The outgoing person makes friends easily. The quiet one listens deeply. The leader casts vision. The steady one brings peace. Now, tell the truth, are you content with the personality God has given you? Do you even know what it’s like? You should, and you should appreciate that personality. My friend, Afton, wrestled with her personality as an introvert. She thought it was a negative flaw she needed to correct. But God has shown her the exact opposite. Her personality as an introvert has incredibly wonderful attributes. She is such a good listener, and she cares so much for others. Actually, she written a book: Living Connected: An Introvert’s Guide to Friendship, which is just wonderful, and it has helped so many women see their quiet personality as a gift from God. For many years I thought my take-charge entrepreneur type personality was a mistake; it seemed to me women shouldn’t be like me. In fact, as a college student I tried once to change my personality. I thought by a set of my will I could be like some other girls at my college who seemed to have more appropriate personalities than I did. I intentionally tried to change my personality. The effort lasted for a few days. I couldn't keep it up, and it did not succeed; in fact, it was a total flop. Instead of improving my personality, I came off as phony and insincere—which of course I was! Eventually, I began to appreciate how God made me. Awkward edges and all. It took me far too long to get there, but as I became more and more contented with how God had made me and appreciated his creativity in me, there was great freedom. Freedom from comparison, from competition, from envy. When you're at peace with who you are, you can genuinely celebrate who others are. But again—accepting doesn't mean excusing. There's much I've had to learn and pray about changing in my own personality—and I still have to work at it. I may be project-oriented, but that's no excuse for being insensitive. I may be a talker, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't learn to listen. Every personality has built-in weaknesses. We don't get to say, “That's just the way I am,” and use that as an excuse to stop growing—to overlook things in ourselves that need to be changed. Instead, we thank God for the strengths and invite him to sand down the rough edges. When you truly appreciate the good in how God made you, you won't be crushed when he reveals areas that need polishing. And I've found God always deals with my personal flaws very patiently and gently. He is a good, good Father and he cares about our feelings. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and his purpose is to transform us more and more to be like Jesus. You can trust him to know how to help you grow and mature in your faith journey.

I've been focusing on the death, burial, and resurrection of our Savior. Can I ask you: Of what or who do you boast? Or in our vernacular, what do you brag about? Paul said to the Galatians: May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14). Can you imagine what this sounded like to Jewish people of his day? Boasting in the cross? That was unthinkable—and yet it is because of the cross that Jesus was able to purchase our salvation. I have led many tours to Israel, and each time I go to the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus spent those agonizing hours before he was arrested, I am reminded it's not a fairy tale. It's not just a story that has been passed down through the ages. No, the cross of Jesus Christ was real. He suffered a shameful death for me—and for you—so God could forgive our sins. Because of him, we can have the righteousness of Jesus Christ credited to us, qualifying us to spend eternity with God. There's something about sitting in that garden, still filled with olive trees, and knowing we are on sacred ground, walking and meditating there where Jesus agonized until his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Where he prayed “Not my will but thine be done,” as he faced the reality of being separated from his Father and bearing in his own body the sins of the world. Each time I come away from that Garden more humbled and more aware of just what it meant for Jesus to give himself as a ransom for many—for me—and to be willing to die on a cross. As you and I celebrate the resurrection of our Lord this Sunday, let us glory in the cross, because without it, we have no hope. Boast about the cross and what Jesus has done for you. Tell everybody you can and why this celebration is so vital and precious to you. And we will celebrate with great joy the fact that the grave could not hold Jesus; death had no victory over him. He arose from the grave. What kind of god dies? Only the true God, the only God, who died so we could live. Let it sink into your mind and heart as you stand in awe that Jesus died for you. Don't ever take this story, this truth, for granted. Understanding the enormity of his death on a cross is sobering and amazing, and his resurrection is reason for great joy.

As we prepare for Easter Sunday, it's important to rehearse again this incredible truth that God, the Son, came to earth to die to pay the debt you and I owed—one we could never pay—for the forgiveness of our sins. And because Jesus died and then rose again after three days, he has conquered eternal death for us. If you have been born from above through faith in Jesus Christ, then your debt has been paid, and that is the most amazing truth. Think about the disciples as they were witnessing Jesus' trial and crucifixion. No doubt they could not comprehend how Jesus could come to this end. They believed he was their Messiah, and he would save them from Rome. Instead he came to save them from their sins. But after the resurrection when the Holy Spirit came upon them, they finally understood, and they were changed people. In a statement to the Sadducees, who had just put him in jail for preaching the Gospel, Peter said, The God of our fathers raised Jesus from the dead—whom you had killed by hanging him on a tree (Acts 5:30). Peter points to the tree—the curse of the cross—and says despite their intention to bring Jesus to disgrace, God raised him from the dead and reversed the stigma. Paul went even further to show how the cross became their message. He said, We preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God (1 Corinthians 1:23-24). The fact Jesus was crucified was a great stumbling block to Jews in that day. How could their Messiah die and on a cross of all things? And for the Gentiles—those who are not Jews—this idea of a god dying seemed foolish. There were lots of gods worshipped in those days. The Romans had false gods for every occasion. But none of their gods died by crucifixion! That was foolishness to them. The amazing truth is once the disciples understood the purpose of Jesus' death on the cross, that very shameful act of being crucified transformed the disciples and their message, and the thing that once had been so repugnant to them became the thing in which they boasted. And that is what we boast in this Easter season. Don't let this celebration pass you by this year without taking time to remember that Jesus set you free by dying for you and then rising from the tomb. And because of that, you are free indeed!

I hope you're looking forward to Resurrection Sunday as much as I am. It truly is the best day of the year, when we sing the glorious truth that Christ the Lord is risen! But when the disciples expected Jesus to rescue them from Rome, they never imagined he would die—especially not on a cross, which was considered cursed by God. Yet his death was absolutely necessary if any of us were to be forgiven. Even if we could somehow pay for our own sins, we would simply die in them. The price would be paid—death—but there would be no redemption. Jesus, the perfect Son of God, had no sins of his own to pay for, so he alone was qualified to take ours upon himself. He paid the price we could never pay so we could be forgiven and have access to God through his sacrifice. Scripture tells us without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness (Hebrews 9:22). The cross was God's chosen way for his Son to die—his blood shed, the curse taken, the penalty paid. Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us (Galatians 3:13). And here is the good news: though the wages of sin is death, the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23). As we approach Resurrection Sunday, it's the perfect time to deepen our understanding of why Jesus died—and why it had to be on a cross. The disciples didn't understand at first. But once they grasped why he came, saw him risen from the grave, and were filled with the Holy Spirit, everything changed. Their despair turned to unshakable faith in their crucified and risen Messiah, and because he lives, so can we.

Have you ever asked yourself this question: What kind of god dies? Jesus kept telling his disciples he came to die and deliver them from their sins, not from Rome. But they just couldn't hear it. After all, what kind of god dies? If I had been in the disciples' shoes at that time, I'm sure I would have struggled with understanding the Messiah—the one I had faithfully followed for over three years, the one I hoped was going to redeem Israel from Rome—was going to die on a cross under God's curse. No doubt the disciples knew the passage from Deuteronomy 21:23 which says anyone who is hung on a tree is under God's curse. When Pilot ordered Jesus to be crucified, the Jewish leaders were very pleased for they thought this would be the end of this troublemaker and his followers. Surely those pesky disciples would give up after Jesus was hung on a cross. This helps us understand why the disciples went into hiding after the crucifixion and were frightened they would be found out. They were bearing not only the grief of losing Jesus but also the shame and disgrace of the way he was killed—on a cross. A crucified Messiah was not their idea of a hero, a Savior, their hope. And up to the end they just couldn't believe it—Jesus was going to be crucified on a cross? They must have wondered why God sent Jesus to die and why he had to die on a cross. What kind of god dies? With clear hindsight now and the New Testament to explain it to us, we can look back and see why God the Son had to die—and yes, even his method of death, a cross, was part of God's plan. Remember, no one took Jesus' life from him; he gave it. This was all part of God's eternal plan, every detail of his death was predetermined by God. The reason Jesus had to die was because sin has consequences, and a Holy God cannot just overlook sin. The price had to be paid for sin; this is what God declared. He does not ignore our sins, but he makes it possible for our sins to be forgiven in Jesus Christ. Of course, God also never intended for death to have dominion over Jesus, and we will celebrate again his resurrection this Sunday. What a glorious truth!

It's the week before Resurrection Sunday. I hope you have been preparing your heart to celebrate this Sunday, for it is truly the most important celebration for us as Christ-followers. And in preparation, I'd like us to focus on a very unusual question, which is: What kind of god dies? If you or I were given the assignment to determine how the sins of mankind could be forgiven, would we ever have come up with a plan that God becomes man and dies? The disciples certainly had difficulty hearing Jesus when he repeatedly said he had come to die. Even though there were many clues and prophecies from the Old Testament showing the coming Messiah would die, their belief at the time was Jesus was Messiah, and he had come to save them from Rome, not from their sins. I've been trying to put myself in the disciples' shoes as they grappled with Jesus' mission. Clearly Jesus told them, the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28). He told them he was the Good Shepherd, and the Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He even gave them an indication of the kind of death he would die when he said, Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up (John 3:14). But they just couldn't hear it because what kind of god dies? Only the true, eternal God would have put this plan in place. To send his only Son who was equal with God the Father for the purpose of dying could only come from the mind and heart of God himself. Then think of this—the way Jesus died was not only the most painful and horrendous way to die, the Jews believed any crucified person was condemned by God. Don't you imagine in those early days following the crucifixion, the disciples must have struggled to understand why Jesus had to die and why he died on a cross. He died this ignominious death, and all along they thought he was from God—which of course he was. But how could he be from God and die on a cross?

Have you ever prepared a really good meal for your kids—something balanced and nourishing—and when you call them to the table, they say, “I'm not hungry”? And then you discover that just before dinner they had potato chips or a bowl of ice cream. Of course they're not hungry. They filled up on something that tasted good in the moment but didn't really nourish them. They spoiled their appetite. I think we understand this so clearly when it comes to food. But sometimes we don't recognize it in our spiritual lives. Jesus said, I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry (John 6:35). And in John 4:14, he told the woman at the well the water he gives would become a spring of water welling up to eternal life. In other words, he offers real nourishment. Real satisfaction. The kind that actually fills the deepest places in us. And yet how often do we find ourselves spiritually dull, distracted, or just not very hungry for him? It may not be because we don't love God. It may simply be we've been snacking all day on other things. We live in a world of constant input. Television, social media, streaming shows, podcasts, news, endless scrolling. None of those things are automatically evil. But they can quietly crowd out our appetite for what truly feeds our souls. Have you ever noticed when you spend a long evening watching something that isn't uplifting, it's harder to turn around and open your Bible? Or when your mind has been saturated with the world's values and drama, prayer doesn't come as naturally? It's not that God has moved away. It's that we're full. The Psalmist says, O taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). That verse implies something important—you have to taste. You have to come to the table. You have to make room. I've heard from women who realized a daily habit—maybe a show they watched every night, or certain novels they devoured—wasn't helping their hearts. At first it seemed harmless. But over time they noticed their thoughts drifting, their peace shrinking, their desire for God weakening. One woman told me she began praying Romans 12:1–2 each day, asking God to renew her mind and help her not be conformed to the world. Slowly, the Holy Spirit made her aware what she was feeding on was shaping her thinking. It wasn't dramatic. It was gradual. And by God's grace, she made a change. As she removed some of that “junk food,” her appetite for Scripture grew stronger again. That's how it works. Paul wrote in Romans 6 we will be slaves to something—either to impurity or to righteousness. That may sound strong, but it's simply true. Whatever we consistently feed becomes what we crave. And cravings grow. Addictions don't usually begin in dramatic ways. They begin with small, repeated choices. One episode. One book. One click. But over time, what once felt like a small indulgence can start to control our thoughts and steal our hunger for better things. On the other hand, the same principle works beautifully in reverse. When we consistently choose righteousness—when we open God's Word even when we don't feel like it, when we pray honestly, when we listen to music or teaching that lifts our hearts—our appetite changes. We begin to crave what nourishes us. Holiness stops feeling restrictive and starts feeling freeing. Jesus described his living water as something that becomes a spring inside of us. That means satisfaction doesn't just come from outside circumstances—it flows from within. But that spring is clearer and stronger when we're not constantly dumping pollutants into it. This isn't about legalism. It's not about making a list of forbidden things. It's about asking a gentle question: What is shaping my appetite? If I'm not hungry for God, what might be filling me up instead? Maybe it's hours of television. Maybe it's social media comparison. Maybe it's reading material that stirs up thoughts you know aren't helpful. Maybe it's just constant busyness that leaves no quiet space for him. The goal isn't guilt. The goal is awareness. When you remove even a little of the junk, something beautiful happens. Hunger returns. The Word becomes sweeter. Prayer becomes more natural. Worship feels more genuine. And the wonderful thing is this: God is not standing at the table tapping his foot in frustration. He invites us. He waits for us. He prepares good things for us. It can even be relationships that spoil your appetite for God. The people closest to you shape you more than you realize. They influence how you think, what you value, what you talk about, and even how you spend your time. It's worth asking: do my closest relationships stir my hunger for God, or do they quietly dull it? I've seen the power of good friendships. When my daughter was growing up, I was so grateful she chose friends who were steady and wise. Those friendships mattered more than I can say. And the same is true for us. We never outgrow the influence of the people around us. If you're single, this becomes even more important in dating. I know how easy it is to think, “There just aren't any strong Christian men,” or “I can't seem to find a godly woman.” I understand that feeling. But if you fill your life with people who don't love the Lord, it's far more likely they'll pull you down than that you'll pull them up. We begin to compromise in small ways. We adjust. We stay quiet. We don't want to lose them. And before long, we've drifted. It doesn't happen dramatically. It happens gradually. And suddenly, our appetite for God just isn't what it used to be. Sometimes it's not relationships. Sometimes it's ambition. Careers. Recognition. The next rung on the ladder. The dream house. The title. The platform. There's nothing inherently wrong with working hard or pursuing excellence. I've had seasons of career growth that were exciting—travel, responsibility, opportunities. From the outside, it may have looked fulfilling. But I can tell you honestly: every time I thought, “This next step will finally satisfy me,” it didn't. The satisfaction was brief. Then came the next goal. The next climb. And when our minds are constantly filled with our own plans—our advancement, our dreams, our goals—there's very little room left to sit quietly at God's table. Sometimes it's material things. I love beautiful things. Clothes, homes, jewelry, design—I enjoy them. And Scripture tells us God gives us good things to enjoy. This isn't about guilt. But I've also noticed how easy it is for appreciation to turn into preoccupation. How much thought energy goes into what I wish I had? How quickly contentment slips away when I focus on what I don't have? And when that dissatisfaction grows, something else shrinks—my gratitude, my peace, even my desire to pray. Materialism is subtle. It doesn't feel like rebellion. It just slowly crowds out deeper hunger. Sometimes it's known sin. Not dramatic, headline-making sin necessarily. Sometimes it's something quieter—compromise in a relationship, pornography, dishonesty, gossip, a sharp tongue, laziness, bitterness, a negative spirit. When we hold onto something we know grieves the Lord, it creates distance. We may still go to church. We may still say the right things. But inside, something feels dull. Sin promises relief or pleasure, but it never delivers what it promises. And it absolutely spoils your appetite for God. And then there's unforgiveness. Few things close the heart like resentment. When we rehearse what someone did to us, when we refuse to release them, we don't bind them—we bind ourselves. Bitterness always backfires and makes you very self-focused. It's hard to hunger for God while holding tightly to a grudge. And remember, forgiveness doesn't say what happened was okay. It simply says, “I'm trusting God with this. I'm letting them off my hook and putting them on God's hook.” And when you release it, the monkey is off your back, and you experience new joy and freedom. Here's the beautiful truth in all of this: God is not trying to deprive us. He isn't standing over us with a list of restrictions. He simply knows nothing satisfies our souls like he does. We were made to hunger for him. When we fill up on lesser things—even good things in the wrong place—we settle for crumbs when a feast is waiting. If today you realize your appetite has been a little off, don't despair. Don't feel condemned. Just start small. Turn something off. Pick up your Bible and read it. Play worship music in the background instead of another show. Pray and ask the Lord to renew your mind. You don't have to overhaul your entire life overnight. Just get rid of some of the junk food that has cluttered your life far too long and taken up too much space in your heart and in your mind. So often we settle for so much less than what God has for us, and that, of course, is exactly the enemy's plan: to make us satisfied with junk food which then spoils our appetite for God. You will know God and the abundant life Jesus promised us in direct proportion to your appetite for him. But it won't just happen. You have to decide you really want to know God and serve him more effectively more than you want anything else. And then you put a plan in place that gets you there—some spiritual disciplines that will make a difference—like daily structured Bible reading and serious, intentional prayer time each day.

Money problems are crisis points for most of us, aren’t they? Fran is learning how money problems affect every part of her life. Jesus has just reminded her that she has a choice, either to trust him or to panic. Fran mulls this over in her mind. “It’s my choice, you say? Either I can continue to act and react like I’ve done today, or I can refuse to get upset and pray more about it and trust you. But when I feel that panic set in, I just can’t avoid it,” Fran tells Jesus. “Feeling the panic doesn’t mean you’re not trusting me,” Jesus says. “But at that point of panic, you must make a choice either to continue in panic mode or to trust me. Remember, if you go by your feelings, you’ll often be in trouble.” “It brings to mind the verse I learned when I was a kid in Sunday School: ‘What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee,'” Fran says. “Guess that’s what you mean when you say I have to make a choice, huh?” “Yes, Fran,” Jesus says, “Regardless of your feelings, if you will set your will to trust in me, you’ll discover the fears subside. And when the fears subside, then you can think correctly, hear my voice, and know what to do. But when fear takes over, trust goes out the window and you’re going to find yourself doing and saying all kinds of things you wish you hadn’t.” “That sure happened to me today,” Fran says, as she re-thinks her day. “I blew up at everybody.” Fran spends a little more time reading her Bible and talking with Jesus and then goes to bed with a quiet spirit. The next day her talk with Uncle George encourages her. He explained she had some options she’d never thought about. She could refinance her home at a lower interest rate and cut her payments by almost $150 a month. He pointed out she could claim another deduction and have an extra $40 to $50 in her paycheck. He also gave her the name of a real estate agent who could give her some good advice on selling her house. As Fran drove home, she said to Jesus, “I do have some options, don’t I, Lord? Thanks for putting Uncle George in my life to help me. Now I just need to know what is the best thing to do.” “Well, Fran, keep praying for wisdom and seeking good advice,” Jesus reminds her. “And keep cutting back on costs, right,” Fran smiles. God deals with all of us through money. If that’s where you are now, learn to trust God, not money. Seek good advice, if needed, and be a good steward. But do not live in fear of the lack of money. God has promised to supply all your needs, and he never fails.

When we’re having money problems, it can cause all kinds of other problems, can’t it? Fran is struggling with too little money and too many bills. She’s thinking of selling her home and has just told her son, Drew, they might have to move, but she said it in anger and haste. “Move to another house? Mom, we can’t leave this house. Mom…” Drew looks at Fran with fear in his eyes, and tears start to roll down his cheeks. She is ashamed of how she has upset him unnecessarily. She releases her grip on his shoulders, takes his hand, and leads him to the sofa. “Oh, Drew, I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she says as she takes him in her arms. He cries freely. “Mom, I don’t want to move. This is our home.” Drew’s fears and anxiety pour out. Hugging him close, Fran says, “Drew, I don’t make as much money as your Dad did, and I can’t afford this house.” “Please Mom, please, don’t sell the house, please,” Drew begs as Fran holds him, unable to answer because of the tears in her own eyes. Later in the evening she calls her mom and talks about selling the house. Her mom suggests she talk to her Uncle George who is an officer at a local bank. Fran dials George’s number and explains her predicament to him. He says he’ll be glad to talk with her, and they plan to meet at his office tomorrow. Fran feels relieved as she hangs up. Somehow it helps just to have someone to talk to who knows about finances and stuff. “I’m glad you called George,” Jesus says to her quietly. “Oh, Jesus,” Fran says rather sheepishly, “It was my mom's suggestion,” She pauses. “Actually, it was your suggestion, wasn’t it? Yesterday you told me to seek advice. Did you see what I did to poor Drew tonight? I really dumped all my frustration on him,” Fran confesses. “Money has power. And it is one of the most difficult areas for my children to learn to trust me,” Jesus says. “Remember, Fran: Money problems are either going to cause you to be worried and frantic, or they are going to cause you to learn to trust me more. It’s your choice.” And all of us have that choice to make, don’t we?

We continue our fictional story of Fran and Jesus, as Fran struggles with not enough money to pay all the bills. Yesterday she said to Jesus, “If I just had more money, all my problems would be solved.” But Jesus replies, “Do you remember, Fran, what I taught the disciples in my Sermon on the Mount? You cannot serve both God and money. Money is a powerful thing, and it can cause you to be its slave.” “Yes,” Fran replies, “but I still have to have money to pay these bills.” Wearily she goes to bed, taking those financial worries with her. At work the next day, her phone rings. “Mrs. Langley,” the voice says. “I’m calling for Dr. Carrow. I wanted to inquire about the bill for Alice’s dental work. It’s past due, and we were wondering when you might be able to pay it?” Fran is stunned as she realizes this is a collection call. “Uh,” she mutters, very embarrassed, “well, I know it’s a little late. I’m sorry. It’s just so many bills have come due this month. I’m sorry.” “Well, when can we expect your check, Mrs. Langley?” the cold voice asks. Fran tries to think, “I’ll try to get a check off this week.” “Then we can expect full payment this week, is that right Mrs. Langley?” he continues. Fran is embarrassed and angry at this whole conversation. She slams the phone down. The rest of the day is pretty much a wipe-out, because Fran can’t think of anything else. Several times during the day, Jesus tries to get her attention, but she’s so wrapped up in her self-pity she is not even aware of his presence. As she's driving home Fran notices her check engine light comes on in her car. “Oh no! That's all I need—car troubles!” Then, as she arrives home, Drew rushes up to her. “Mom, what happened? We can’t get the cartoon channel anymore?” “Oh, Drew, I cancelled the cable service today,” Fran replies. “We can’t afford it anymore.” “What do you mean we can’t afford it? We’ve always afforded it before,” Drew says. “Now, listen to me, son,” Fran grabs him by the shoulders, “I have to cut costs, and we can do without cable television. What’s more, we’re probably going to have to sell the house and move to a cheaper place.” As soon as she says it, she knows she said the wrong thing.

Fran is facing some serious financial difficulties. She is trying to cut expenses and is facing the possibility of having to find a cheaper place to live. “Guess I need to sell the house,” she says, but the thought depresses her. She feels anger start to rise in her just thinking about it. “It’s just not fair,” she thinks, as tears start down her cheeks. Why did Jim die? Why did God take him from me? It’s just not fair!” The sobs start to shake Fran's body, as the pain and loneliness flood her memory. “I understand,” Jesus replies, quietly. “Really? You understand what it's like to raise two kids by yourself?” Fran asks. “I understand loneliness; I was rejected by my closest friends,” Jesus reminds her. “Even my Father turned his back on me as I hung on the cross. I understand because I’ve experienced every kind of pain you have, Fran.” The room gets very quiet, as Fran’s sobs subside. “Lord, I’m so sorry…” she begins, but Jesus interrupts her. “No need to apologize, Fran. You’re complaining to the right person,” Jesus says, as he reassures her of his love. “Remember David in Psalm 142. Why don’t you read that Psalm right now?” Fran opens to Psalm 142, and begins reading: I cry aloud to the Lord; …I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. …Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need…set me free from my prison… Fran’s spirit is calmer as she finishes the Psalm. “Fran,” Jesus says, “since I know what you think anyway, it's good to be honest with me and tell me how you feel. Then we can deal with it.” Fran tries to smile. “David says set me free from my prison; I feel like I’m in a money prison. I’ve got to sell my house, uproot my kids—if I just had more money…” “Fran,” Jesus interrupts, “money is not the answer to your problems.”