Broadcasts – Christian Working Woman

In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines. (Proverbs 18:17). I'm looking at a proverb a day to show us the way. This proverb is very good advice for us. What it teaches us is to withhold judgment and opinions until we've heard both sides to any story. We shouldn't be gullible, and we shouldn't jump to conclusions. This is a particularly difficult area for me. I am very impulsive and very much an over reactor. And every time I do that, I regret it. I am by God's grace focusing prayer and attention in my life on learning to wait until I hear both sides of any story, to make sure I've got my facts straight, to remember there may be something here I just don't know yet. I remember coming into the office on a very busy day to find a message that irritated me at once. With only partial information, I thought this other person was doing something way out of line, and I overreacted. I went to the phone and started calling her, to get things straightened out. Thankfully, she was not in, and I didn't get to speak with her at that time. When she returned my call and explained the situation, I realized the message had not been complete, and if I had talked with her earlier, I would have overreacted and probably hurt her feelings. God protected me that time and reminded me how much I need to learn not to overreact. Wise Solomon warned us the first person to present their case can sound very convincing because we haven't heard the other side of the story. We need to listen to people but not be too quick to agree or disagree with them until we've sorted the facts out and know what we're dealing with. This is good advice for managers and employees alike. I want to encourage you to go to the Proverbs daily for guidance. There are 31 chapters, so you can read the one that corresponds to the day of the month. I've been doing that for several years, and many times God has used the Proverbs to give me clear guidance, especially on job-related issues.

I'm looking at a Proverb a day to show us the way, because the book of Proverbs is wonderfully applicable to the situations we face in our everyday lives. [If] you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth. So do this... Go and humble yourself... Allow no sleep to your eyes... Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler (Proverbs 6:2-5). How many times have you wanted to crawl under a table because you said something you wished you hadn't? Perhaps they were words spoken in anger or haste, or words of gossip, or judgmental words. Unkind, untruthful, harsh, unnecessary words that inflicted harm of some kind. What do you do? You can't unsay them; you can't delete them; you can't erase them. Those words hang there in your memory and the memory of others. What can you do? Solomon says to go and humble yourself to the person your words harmed; go, confess to them, and do it immediately. Apologize and do all you can to free yourself from the damage of those words. I know that's not easy to do, but it's a lot easier than not doing it! Once in a hotel on a business trip, I accused a hotel employee of neglecting to follow my instructions. I was certain I had given those instructions. Nicely, but directly, I said, "I'm sure it's your fault; please correct it.” A few minutes later I came to realize I was the one who was wrong, not him. It was embarrassing; I wanted to run away. But I forced myself to go to the phone, call the young man and apologize to him. Even a simple apology like that wasn't easy, but once I did it, I felt so free. And I could tell it made a big difference to him. He kept saying, "That's so nice of you to call. Thank you.” It wasn't nice of me; it was just the right thing to do. If you've offended someone with words, don't procrastinate. Go right now and apologize. That's good advice from Proverbs.

I'm sharing a Proverb a day, which will show you the way. Listen to this passage from Proverbs 6: Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provision in summer and gathers its food at harvest (Proverbs 6:6-8). In the margin of my Bible by this verse I have written "self-motivated.” The ant is a self-motivated creature. Without anyone standing over all those ants and telling them what to do, they perform their jobs diligently and are prepared for what lies ahead. Self-motivation is a key factor in our business world today. Have you ever worked with someone who was just trying to get by with as little as possible. They don't look beyond their noses to see what else could be done. They take no initiative and are not willing to go any extra miles. A Christian in the workplace should be like the ant: self-motivated, willing to dig in and get the work done without prompting or constant supervision. Does your manager trust you? Can she or he be assured you diligently will do your job whether anyone's watching or not? Certainly, a Christian should produce that kind of reputation. Your witness in the world will only be effective if there is a difference in the way you work. If you have the “it's not my job" attitude, drag your feet and do only what you're told to do, gripe and complain about doing anything above and beyond your job description, how will your coworkers and management know Christ makes a difference in your life? They won't, and your verbal witness, if there is one, will fall on deaf ears. If you are a Christ-follower, you have a power far beyond yourself to motivate you. You have God's Holy Spirit dwelling within you to give you the strength you need to be self-motivated. And when you are motivated to do what's right, you will have an outstanding testimony because you do your work right whether anyone's watching or not. You do it to the best of your ability, and you're willing to go the extra mile. Go to the ant and consider its ways. We can learn wisdom and self-motivation from those tiny ants.

There is a book in the Bible full of wisdom for our everyday lives, and that is the book of Proverbs. I'm going to share a proverb a day, which will show you the way! We'll look at four different proverbs and see the wisdom for us. I encourage you to make Proverbs a daily reading habit. There are 31 chapters, so it's easy to read the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. I've been doing that for several years and find the practical advice most beneficial in my life. Let's look at Proverbs 22:10. It says, drive out the mocker and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended. Another translation reads, drive out the scoffer and contention will go out. Even strife and dishonor will cease. Have you ever worked with a person who was a mocker and a scoffer? That's the person who makes fun of others, who ridicules people and organizations, who is arrogant and causes problems seemingly on purpose. When there's a mocker in the group, the work environment can be miserable and having a unified team is almost impossible. This proverb says by getting rid of a mocker, you get rid of strife. If you are in a management position, it's good to remember there are times when the best thing you can do is to let an employee go. Now, I hope that doesn't sound cruel, but a person who is intent on offending others—and some people are—can have detrimental effects on an organization. Of course, as Christians, we still must care about people regardless of how unlovable they are. And though we can never change people, the Holy Spirit can, so we shouldn't give up praying for them. But that doesn't mean we allow them to ruin the working environment for everyone else. Remember, the workplace is not a rehab center or a counseling office. We want to help people, when possible, but you don't hire people to reform or change them; you hire them to do a job. Solomon said, in his wisdom, you're better off to drive out the mocker and the scoffer, for by so doing, the strife and dishonor will stop, people will be able to work productively together, and everyone will benefit, including the person who is the troublemaker. Allowing him or her to continue to get by with that inappropriate behavior doesn't help the individual.

Some years ago, someone sent me this story, which illustrates this truth—God won't let you go. Let me tell you it. On a hot summer day in Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. He jumped into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His father working in the yard saw what was happening, and in utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son. The little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father would not let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard the screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scared by the vicious attack of the animal. And on his arms were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved. The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too, because my Dad wouldn't let go." You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past and present crises we may be facing. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused deep pain or regret. But some wounds are because God has refused to let go. Amid our struggle, he's been there holding on to us. God just won't let you go, no matter what you're going through. Think of Joseph. Through, no doubt, some childish bragging to his brothers, they decided to get rid of him, and sold him into slavery in Egypt. Joseph had done no great evil; he didn't deserve to be so terribly mistreated, but there he was, a slave and a prisoner in Egypt (Genesis 37-50). But God never let go of Joseph, because Joseph never forsook his faith in Jehovah God. And he was used by God to deliver many people, including his own family, from starvation. I wonder how many times, as he sat in that prison, he just wanted to give up. It looked hopeless, but God didn't let go. We have many wonderful illustrations in the Bible of how God didn't let go, even when his people foolishly waded into dangerous and sinful situations, sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes out of disobedience. Think of Elijah. You remember the story found in 1 Kings 18, where Elijah challenged all the prophets of Baal, with great courage, and their pagan gods could not deliver them. Elijah triumphed over all that evil, proving that Jehovah God was the only true God. It was an incredible victory. But the very next day, brave Elijah became a coward, fearful of one woman, Jezebel, who had threatened to kill him. He ran out of fear for his life. Elijah no doubt would have been diagnosed by doctors today as having a deep depression, even as being deluded, as he ran for his life. But God didn't let go, and with great patience and kindness, he nurtured him back to strength, taught him some wonderful lessons, and brought him out of that deep funk an even better man of God—refined like gold. Are you there? Has your faith failed you? Are you full of fear? Are you in that kind of deep depression where everything looks hopeless? Maybe you feel worthless, and you're sure that life is coming to an end—at least life with any meaning? The world around you is a mess, and that could cause you to be frightened and depressed. But I want to encourage you today to know God won't let go of you. He will patiently guide you back to wholeness, as he did with Elijah. How did Elijah recover? He needed some rest and nourishment.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen There are so many studies about the Proverbs 31 woman and aspirations to be like her. She is a powerful example of a working woman from the Old Testament, and she is an important example of male/female unity between mothers and sons and husbands and wives. Maybe you aren't a mom or son or wife or husband, but the foundations of unity between men and women are found in this chapter and show us God's heart for male/female unity in his kingdom. This proverb was taught by a mother to her son, the King Lamuel. I think it is important to note the unity between the mother and son—the importance of this male/female relationship. She's imparting on him rich wisdom and outlines for him the importance of unity with a woman who fears the Lord. The unity between this man and woman—husband and wife—shows trust, gain, and good. The Proverbs 31 woman is a smart worker. She provides for her home. She invests and burns the proverbial candle at both ends. She gives to the poor and makes sure those working for her are provided for. She even dresses well! This woman is so well known that the man she is in unity with is “known” at the gates. In addition to her work, she shares her wisdom and teaching. Her husband and children praise her! This is a long and exhaustive list. And it is a very good example of many of the Christian working women I know. There are many lessons we can take from this chapter, but let's consider the unity the Proverbs 31 woman has: unity with the Lord, her husband, her workers, her community, and her children. In all these relationships, unity is part of her success. God wants us to be in unity with our closest male and female relationships. He wants his daughters to teach and his sons to listen to their wisdom. He wants his daughters to fear him and seek trust and unity with others. He wants his daughters to work, serve the poor, and provide for their families. He wants us to be kind and not be idle. God created us in his image. Male and female, he created us. And, just like the unity of the trinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, he wants us to live in unity with others. How can you create more unity with the closest men or women in your life?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Are you under the impression that the women in the Bible weren't working women? Many of the Christian women I encounter haven't heard this important truth. Women have always worked! In fact, we examined this when we discussed the creation story of Genesis, the prophetesses Miriam and Deborah, and the women who worked in unity with Jesus! God needs us working in unity with men for his glory! Women played an important role in the early church. I think about Mary being the first to see the resurrected Jesus. Scripture could have skipped ahead to meeting the disciples in Galilee, but it doesn't! God wants us to see how his story includes the men and women he created in his image. The Old Testament prophet Joel states, I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and daughters shall prophesy. This verse can be found in Joel 28 and in summary in Acts 2. The Spirit is for sons and daughters—both to prophesy! One of the first accounts of healing in the book of Acts is of Tabitha (also known as Dorcas) in Acts 9:36-43. We learn she had died, and she was considered a woman full of good works and charity. She was apparently a very good seamstress as the scripture speaks of the tunics and garments she had made. We learn it was men urging them to come to the bedside of Tabitha. She was clearly respected. And she was raised to life by Peter. Lydia is described in Acts 16 as a seller of purple goods and a worshiper of God. Paul came to find a group of women who had come together in prayer. He sought them out—to be in unity with them in prayer. His seeking and the Lord's opening of Lydia's heart to hear the good news of Jesus, opened new unity and provision for Paul when Lydia invite him to stay in her home. We also see that Paul returned to Lydia when he was released from prison. Lydia needed unity with Jesus, and Paul needed unity with Lydia for his work! We also learn those in Lydia's household encouraged Paul. Lydia was a seller. She worked. God used her work and leadership to help grow the early church! God is still doing this today. Are you a creator like Tabitha or a seller like Lydia? Not only does your influence with others serve as an important way for the gospel to be shared, but your financial provision also can help ministries lay groundwork to encourage others to spread the good news and cause an increase in the Church of Jesus Christ! This is why your work and the unity between men and women is important to the Lord. Working together will ultimately create a much greater impact for the glory of the kingdom.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen When you think of your work, do you think about the most important work God has called us to? That work is to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and this work is a shared work for all of us who are brothers and sisters in Christ. Men and women share a critical, unified role in sharing the beautiful gift of mercy and eternity we have in Jesus! Although we see the twelve disciples Jesus calls in the New Testament are all men, we cannot choose to miss all the ways women were used by Jesus for the great work of sharing the good news! Jesus's first revelation of himself being the Messiah is to the woman at the well. This account in John 4 is significant first because Jesus is alone accepting water from a Samaritan woman. The Samaritans were the outcasts of the time, and this woman was a woman with many husbands. He breaks barriers to bring her into unity in his revelation. The best part is her response. This woman runs all the way back to town, not caring about who she is in this community but who she is in Christ, and begins to share the good news of the living water. We see Jesus with Mary and Martha and their brother Lazarus in the scriptures. Mary and Martha provided hospitality to Jesus and the disciples with meals and a place to teach. We know Jesus deeply loved Lazarus and deeply cared for Mary and Martha, which was matched by their devotion and trust for him. Not only were women part of the ministry of Jesus in his living but also in his death and resurrection. At the crucifixion in Matthew 27:55-56 we learn there were many women there, looking from a distance. These women had followed Jesus from Galilee and ministered to him, among whom were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee. Again, this ministering could have been for physical needs like food and shelter or emotional and spiritual support during his ministry. Either way, these women, worked in unity with the men alongside Jesus. The women at the cross displayed great loyalty to the end, and they were also first to learn of the resurrection. After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb (Matthew 28:1). Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me” (Matthew 28:10). We may not see a lot about the unity between the 12 disciples and these women, but we see a more important unity—the unity between Jesus Christ and them. How are you in unity with Jesus at work today?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen We hear a lot about the prophets, but what about prophetesses? Women worked alongside men in the Old Testament, even as prophetesses of the Lord. Although the Old Testament text has a lot less to say about these women, we read that they were respected and sought after for their specific wisdom. The history in the Bible would surely not be the same without unity between these women and the men they served with and for. Why don't we see these stories as powerful movements for the kingdom of God? We have examined the unity God created men and women in and the unity of work he created us for. And we also examined how sin broke this sacred unity. This is the underlying why. Culture and sin both play an unintentional and sometimes intentional role in us not hearing more about these female prophets. You could probably tell me a lot about Moses and Aaron, but what about their sister? Her name was Miriam, and she was also a prophet of the Lord. If I think about this trio more, I wish I could have heard more about their unity and the dynamics of their work together! Miriam is one of the earliest leaders of worship! In Exodus 15:20-21 we see her leading other women in song and dance after they crossed the Red Sea. The timing of the text suggests she may have been the first to lead a victory celebration of the exodus from Egypt! Miriam was noted as one of God's chosen leaders of the exodus in Micah 6:4. I brought you up out of Egypt and redeemed you from the land of slavery. I sent Moses to lead you, also Aaron and Miriam (Micah 6:4). She was “joined as a whole” in unity with her brothers in this work. Deborah, too, was a powerful prophetess. She is described in Scripture as a judge, military strategist, warrior, and mother in Israel. No, she was not an actual mom, but rather she was a leader of Israel. In Judges, we see Deborah working, first as a judge and then as the one who leads Israel to war. Now Deborah, a prophet, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went up to her to have their disputes decided (Judges 4:4-5). Men and women sought her counsel. In the next verse we see Deborah sends for and summons Barak. Barak said to her, “If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go” (Judges 4:8). You can read more about this in Judges chapters 4 and 5, but again we see God using men and women—in unity— to complete work. How do you see examples of Miriam and Deborah and their unity with the men around them in your work today?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen I have been in the workplace for longer than I want to admit and one thing I can say is I hear more about the differences between men and women at work than what unifies us. Although I don't want to overlook the different realities men and women face in the workforce, I also don't think we talk enough about God's point of view on men and women when it comes to work. So, let's examine some of the women in the Bible and the true definition of unity, or the state of being united or joined as a whole, when it comes to men and women at work. In Genesis 1:26-27 we see the beautiful work of unity in creation. Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:26-27). We first see unity in the trinity before God even created man and woman. Our image and our likeness—not my image and my likeness—our. God embodies the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This is the image of God, working together to form creation. And, when we read the verse about creating man, he created both male and female in his own image. Not men exalted above women or women above men but creation in his image, in unity. If we don't look to the beginning, it is easy to look at the ways culture and society have created norms about work. The reality is, these are not God's norms for men and women. The next verses in Genesis 1:28-29 further frame God's plans for man and woman. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food” (Genesis 1:28-29). God gave man and woman an equal command to work—in unity. So, why do we have so much trouble with unity of men and women at work today? Sin. Your sin and mine. Men sin and women sin. We break unity. But awareness of how it should be—this is the best start. And we can look at how God used men and women together in scripture to accomplish his plans.

The studies and articles aren't new. In fact, the first workplace gender research started in the 1960s and 1970s. Men and Women in the Corporation by Rosabeth Moss Kanter was considered one of the first academic studies on gender differences in work behavior and opportunity, and this was in 1977. This conversation is as old as me, but I would like to remind you that women at work is not a construct of the early world wars and industrial revolutions as you may have been taught. Women and men working together started with creation in Genesis 1. Men and women were created to work together. In Genesis 1:26-27, we see the beautiful work of unity in creation. Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and every other creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. When we read the verses about creating man, he created both male and female in his own image. Not men exalted above women or women above men, but creation in his image, in unity. If we don't look to the beginning, it is easy to look at the ways that culture and society have created norms about work. The reality is these are not God's norms for men and women. The next verses in Genesis 1: 28-29 further frame God's plans for man and woman: And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.' God gave man and woman an equal command to work in unity. You already know that once sin crept in, this unity was forever broken. Sin impacts this sacred creation in every way, and our cultural norms which have been forming since the 70s continue to impact how men and women work together. What does this sin look like within the context of work? What is causing the continued gender bias issues for women? The answer doesn't start with work; it really begins outside of the office and is part of the cultural and societal brokenness between men and women that has systematically and year after year found its way into our work. With my aim being unity between men and women as advocates to solve this issue, I wondered, who were the leading male voices for gender equality at work. One name that came up was Tony Porter. Tony is the founder and CEO of A Call to Men. He seeks to teach systemic change for between men and women in society. In an article published on his website, “Is your Organization Unintentionally Reinforcing Gender Bias at Work,” Tony states this, “…the workplace is a microcosm of society—a society where men and boys are collectively socialized to view women as objects, as property and as having less value than men.”[1] This blanket statement is not felt by all women, of course, but as a whole, it sums up that sin and the brokenness of not seeing men and women created equally in the image of God is at the root of the issues still facing women today. Fortunately and unfortunately, the Bible is full of cultural examples of both unity and brokenness between men and women. If we look at the Word of God, we will all struggle to understand some of the terrible injustices women faced including being taken by force into marriage, raped, and being cast out of society. Again, at the moment of the fall, the unity and sacred relationship between men and women fell, and it fell hard. But, for every hard-to-read passage of Scripture about injustices for women, there are beautiful examples of how God used women and work for the glory of his kingdom. Women played an important role in the formation of the early church where they not only served the disciples with hospitality but also provided money for the ministry and teaching ...

Presented by Julie Busteed I've been talking about the importance of unity—not just with fellow believers, but also with our coworkers. Today's workplace looks different than it used to. Some people work remotely, some in the office, and others split their time between both. Each setup has its benefits, but they also come with unique challenges—especially when it comes to staying connected. How do we stay on the same page and remain unified in our purpose and mission when we're not all in the same physical space? It takes intentional effort. Hopefully, your workplace provides tools like messaging apps or video conferencing to help you communicate regularly. But staying connected may also mean being more proactive—since those informal “water cooler” conversations don't happen as naturally. Here are a few suggestions for maintaining unity in a diverse working environment: Practice overcommunication. Even in in-person settings, this is often overlooked. Many times, I think I've communicated clearly, only to realize later it wasn't understood as intended. When you have a conversation—whether by phone or video—follow up with an email to summarize key points. And before you hit send on any message, re-read it. What seems clear to you may need a little fine-tuning for someone else to fully grasp. Schedule regular video check-ins. Whether it's with your whole team or one-on-one, set up consistent meetings. These touchpoints help move projects forward, provide space for clarification, and keep relationships strong. If you can occasionally meet in person, even better. Build trust and personal connections. Social connection matters. Not just for morale but for productivity too. When people trust each other and feel valued, they collaborate better and bring fresh, creative ideas to the table. Ultimately, unity comes when everyone understands the goal and the reason behind it. A shared sense of purpose fuels effective teamwork. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). And let's not forget: In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity.

Presented by Julie Busteed I recently read a 2021 Harvard Business Review article about high performing teams. The article reported “disagreements with people whose opinions or ideas differ from our own are common in the workplace. When handled appropriately, disagreements lead to better results—but they are not usually viewed that way.”[1] So true! Different ideas or ways of doing things can lead to better results, but so often the response is defensive or territorial, not willing to listen or change. But if handled in the right way, disagreements can lead to a great outcome. An example is the disagreement between the Apostle Paul and Barnabas and their disagreement on who should accompany them on their second missionary journey. John Mark accompanied Paul and Barnabas on their first journey as a helper (Act 13:5). It was quite the journey of incredible growth for the church but also much persecution. Sometime later, Paul suggested to Barnabas to visit the churches they had planted. Barnabas wanted to bring John Mark with them again on this journey, but Paul disagreed because John Mark had not continued with them in the work on their first journey (Acts 15:38). In fact, it's written that they had a sharp disagreement, and it was so intense they could not come to an agreement at that time, which resulted in Paul taking Silas with him and Barnabas brought John Mark on a separate missionary journey. But this is not the end of the story. Paul, when he was in Rome, wrote to the Colossians and in Philemon—mentions John Mark sends his greetings along with others. John Mark is with Paul in Rome. And in Second Timothy Paul writes: Get (John) Mark and bring him with you for he is very useful to me for ministry (2 Timothy 4:11). Don't you love that? It's estimated 15 plus years have passed since that first journey when John Mark left them. And now, with time, space, maturity, and perspective, there's evidence of reconciliation and working together for the purpose of proclaiming the gospel. Paul and Barnabas had a different view of how to conduct the second journey. And so that second journey did not continue on as originally planned, but in the end, two teams went out to encourage the churches and preach Christ to the unreached. A disagreement ended with two different ways of moving forward. Unity was evident—both wanted to encourage and spread the good news. The methods were different, but the mission—the goal—was the same. --- [1] Harvard Business Review High-Performing Teams Start with a Culture of Shared Values by Greg Satell and Cathy Winschitl, May 11. 2021, https://hbr.org/2021/05/high-performing-teams-start-with-a-culture-of-shared-values

Presented by Julie Busteed The Psalmist writes: How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity (Psalm 133:1)! How good and pleasant it is to be in unity with others. But that's not always how life works—especially at our jobs. Just as unity is important in your relationship with Christ and fellow believers, it's also important in your workplace. Teams that have a common and shared goal will work together to reach the goal. A Teamraderie article cites unity at work is important because research shows approximately 70% of employees believe poor collaboration is decreasing their productivity.[1] If you're concerned about productivity and the bottom line, that's a lot of unproductive time spent because of disunity or poor collaboration. The article goes on to report nearly two-thirds of the respondents (64%) claim poor collaboration is costing them at least three hours per week in productivity, with 20% claiming they are wasting as many as six hours per week. If you are a manager or an owner or project leader, then communicating the goal and purpose clearly is a priority. Taking time and effort to make sure you listen and understand obstacles and concerns is important. Then get that message across to ensure everyone is on the same page with the mission of the project or the company. It takes time and energy to do this, but the resulting benefits should prove to be worth it. An encouraging environment with good collaboration starts with being open to others' concerns, communicating ideas and processes clearly, and showing respect. Even if you're not the manager or in charge, your respectful attitude and willingness to listen can go a long way in building unity within the workplace. How do you handle disagreements though? A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1). A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18). Being gentle and patient in response to a disagreement will help navigate the conversation. Ask questions if you are not clear on something. Remain calm and listen to what's being said as opposed to what your response will be. Give yourself time to respond. It's okay to say, “I need to think about this,” or “Let me give it some thought, and I'll get back to you.” This shows you're taking the other person seriously and considering their perspective. It doesn't mean you have to agree just to avoid conflict—that's not helpful either. But it also means not dismissing his or her ideas right away. Remember the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. --- [1] Teamraderie Editorial Team. (2024, August 9). A Guide to Achieving Unity in the Workplace. Teamraderie. http://teamraderie.com/insights/unity-in-the-workplace/

Presented by Julie Busteed How can you work together with others but have so many differences? The Apostle Paul gives a great example in 1 Corinthians 12 of how you and I are each created differently but are also united in Christ. Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many (1 Corinthians 12:12-14). This is such a clear image of what the body of Christ is and how the church is to work together. Paul goes on to explain in more detail. For example, the eye doesn't make up the whole body, and it can't say to the hand that it doesn't need it. He says God has put the body together that there should be no division in the body—all parts should have equal concern for one another. If one part suffers, all parts suffer, and if one part is honored, every part rejoices. I know it's an overused phrase, but we are better together—when we share the same purpose and goal. The early church is a beautiful example of this. Luke records in chapter 2 the unity this body of believers experienced. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved (Acts 2:42-47). The unity and love between the early Christians were evident to all. The way they treated one another, prayed for one another, enjoyed meals together, and worshipped God was a witness to others of the gospel of Christ. And because of this, the Lord increased their numbers. More people were drawn to Christ because of the evident love between the believers. What an encouragement to me. How can you and I show this love and unity? I think the same way the early church did. We can care for others, pray with and for others, worship together, and so much more. Even at work we can show this kind of unity, by caring for our coworkers and praying for them.

Presented by Julie Busteed In a society when there is so much discord and argument and division, unity is a rare thing. As a Christ-follower, why do we need to have unity? Jesus gives us this reason: My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me (John 17:20-23). Being unified in Christ and with the body of Christ is a powerful witness to the world of God's love. As Christians, our unity in Christ and with other Christians is essential. But being united doesn't mean we are all the same. We are uniquely created with different gifts and talents. And yet united! I love this saying: In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity. Christians need to be of the same mind on the core beliefs—things that matter—that are essential. In church we often recite or read the Apostles Creed, which states some core beliefs of faith: God is the creator. Jesus is his only son, conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, was crucified, died and buried. On third day, he rose again and sits at the right hand of God, and he will come to judge the world. I'm summarizing here, but you get the idea. For Christians, these are non-negotiable beliefs. It doesn't have anything to do with the worship music, or how the service should be ordered, or what we should wear to church, or any of those other things. Some of those things are important, but they are more preferences—so there's liberty—or freedom in the “non-essential” things. We may prefer a certain worship style and find other worship styles unsettling, but if those core beliefs are shared, then there's freedom to worship. And above all, there's charity—love! You and I need to make room for other people's preferences. It doesn't have to be done exactly our way. God created us uniquely and as a result there are unique ways to worship and serve him.

Crucial conversations are often with people who will continue to be in your life no matter how the conversation turns out, and these conversations may cover a span of time. For example, sometimes we have to approach a family member about an issue, a close friend, or a coworker that we see every day. A friend told me about some crucial conversations she has had with her siblings concerning the care of their aging parents. Despite her many requests for help, they have simply ignored her, and she is left as the principal and really only caregiver for her parents—and at great sacrifice on her part. I questioned her approach, and it surely seems that she has been as clear and assertive as anyone could be. But she cannot force them to do what they are not willing to do. And so, her choices are to leave her parents without the care they need or keep doing what she is doing, which is totally not fair to her. In such cases, the biggest issue you face is bitterness—allowing others to cause you to be bitter. That always backfires on us, doesn't it? So, don't let bitterness get a foothold. Hebrews tells us: See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:15). When you allow those bitter roots to grow, you heap more trouble on yourself because bitterness will eat you alive, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It will affect your well-being. Then, commit these intransient situations to God in prayer and wait for him to answer. I know that's very hard to do because he never answers on our timetable, but he is a trustworthy God. If you are part of his family through faith in Jesus Christ, he has promised to care for you. Read Psalm 91 and take great comfort in the truth that he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone (Psalm 91:11-12). Just take that promise at face value and be aware that God has sent angels to guard you and keep you from disaster. Even though you can't see them, they are there. You then can rest in the shadow of the Almighty, because God is your refuge and fortress. Now, let's talk about how to react if you're on the receiving end of a crucial conversation, perhaps one that has taken you by surprise. First remember that a good thing to do, if possible, is to buy yourself some time. Guard your mouth and your tongue. You may want to lash out and defend yourself, but if the sparks are flying, you might be well advised to simply buy some time. How? Well, just say something like, “I need some time to think about this; can we come back to it tomorrow?” Or, “I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. Can you please give me a day to think about it?” I remember when, in a non-threatening situation, a woman I spoke to asked for time. I asked her a crucial question having to do with money, and she simply said, “I haven't thought about that. Would you mind if I get back to you in a day or two?” I didn't mind at all, and I appreciated her desire to answer the question from a more informed position. Defending ourselves is the most natural course of action for us as human beings. And once we're in defensive mode, it blocks our ability to take in new information or see two sides to an issue. Even though it's a very normal reaction when some criticism is coming our way in an unexpected crucial conversation, it is the enemy of finding any kind of solution to the problem at hand. So, how do we avoid being defensive? I find that my personality is pretty defensive—in other words, I get to defensive mode quicker than most people do! Not good, so it becomes a matter of prayer for me. You may not be aware of the crucial conversation that is coming your way, but you can be aware of your tendency to be defensive—and that means you can pray about it in advance. Ask God to help you overcome this bad habit.

What parent hasn't said to a small child, “Now, play well with your friends.” We try to motivate them to play with consideration, not to be selfish, to share their toys—to “play nice” as we say. Don't you think we need to “work nice” with our fellow workers? Here's one last suggestion for creating more unity where you work: Help others to find their greatness and to develop and use their talents and skills. This applies not only to those in management, but all of us can look for ways to help others grow in their job and become better at what they do. If you are particularly skilled in an area a new coworker struggles in, you could offer to coach her in it. Not only would that benefit her, but the growth of individual employees benefits the whole. Organizations would be immeasurably better if we all simply helped others find their greatness and realize their potential. I think we would be shocked if we knew how much time, productivity, and success are lost simply because we don't share with each other. I remember reading an article about the terrible Columbia Space Shuttle disaster in 2003. At the center of it was a lack of proper communication and an unwillingness to share knowledge and research, causing technical problems and ultimately the disaster itself. Knowing this makes the tragedy so much worse, doesn't it? Jesus gave us the greatest example of equipping others to succeed. He began with twelve unqualified men, taught them, role-modeled for them, and then after his resurrection, he sent the Holy Spirit to indwell them and empower them so they could be all he intended them to be. He equipped them—and he still equips us today. If you're born from above, you have the Holy Spirit indwelling you, and he gives you the power to work well with others, to love others, to be a true friend and a peacemaker even on your job.

How often do you complete a goal or project with no help from others? My guess is we rarely reach our goals on our own. We receive help and cooperation, ideas and support from others, and that makes it possible for us to succeed. I'm examining how to strive for more unity in the workplace, and one of the basic things to remember is to share credit for accomplishments and ideas. Have you ever seen someone who won a very coveted award or accomplished something truly outstanding, and as they were recognized, the first thing they said was, “I could never have done this without. . .” and then they named others who helped. Actually, there are so many small moments in our days when we can share the credit and acknowledge the contribution that someone else has made. Do you ever thank your boss for helping you? Have you taken time to send an email to a coworker who went out of his or her way to give you some advice or share some ideas with you? I think we often just overlook these little things; we get too busy, or we simply don't realize how powerful “thank you” is. One of the things we try to do well here at The Christian Working Woman is to say “thanks.” So many people have partnered with us throughout the 40+ years of this ministry, and I am very aware we could never have made it without them—without you! A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11). An aptly spoken word is “thanks”, and it is beautiful. Believe me when I tell you—thank you is powerful, and you can't overdo it. Are you intentional about recognizing and thanking those you work with and for? It will go a long way toward creating more unity. Give it a try.

Would you like to have a better atmosphere where you work—one with more unity? I'm examining what you can do—as one person—to improve the atmosphere at your job. And that mainly means what you can do to work well with others. We hear lots of comments about how difficult workplaces are these days. With the scarcity of jobs and many companies asking more work from less employees, it can feel like you are trapped in a job you don't like, and you have no hope of escaping. But I want to challenge you to try to improve the place you're in. As a Christian, a true follower of Jesus Christ, your first priority is to represent Christ well where you work, regardless of the circumstances. I've made two suggestions that may help. Here's number three: Never ambush your coworkers or boss. For example, if you bring up a problem in a departmental meeting and it's the first time your boss or the people involved have heard about it, then you may have blindsided them. They may interpret that to mean you're trying to make them look bad. Always discuss issues first with the people directly involved. Not only will that prevent you from appearing to ambush them, but you'll likely learn a different perspective of the situation. In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines (Proverbs 18:17). We've all witnessed times when someone forcefully presented their case, expressed their opinion, pointed their fingers, and then when the facts were fully revealed, they were made to look foolish. To have unity where you work, there needs to be trust. Trust is built over time, and the little things you do—or don't do—daily will create a firm belief in the minds of your coworkers as to whether they can trust you. Are there not some people on your job you simply don't trust? This should never be the perception our coworkers have of you as a disciple of Jesus Christ. It was said of Daniel that his coworkers could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent (Daniel 6:4). A distinguishing mark of a Christian in a secular workplace should be we never ambush others, and we are very trustworthy.

What can you do to create more unity in your workplace—and make it a nicer place to work? I'm examining working well at work—doing what you can to create a better work environment. I already examined the importance of not playing the blame game. Here's suggestion number two. Always bring a solution when you present a problem. Anybody can complain and find fault, and there's plenty of that going on in most work environments. But the person who brings a solution to a problem is very valuable. Before you go into gripe mode, ask yourself, if I were in charge, what would I do to resolve this situation? Early in my sales career at IBM, I remember my manager telling me, “We don't have problems at IBM, Mary, we have opportunities.” Now, that may sound very simplistic, but if everyone approached a problem as an opportunity, it would eliminate most of the negative chatter and complaining that is prevalent in many workplaces. What would you identify as the number one problem where you work—the one thing you would really love to change? Maybe fixing it would increase efficiency or productivity or eliminate headaches or frustration. Identify that one thing and then come up with a solution. If you can't come up with a solution, then you have no right to complain about it. Maybe you're thinking no one would take your suggestion, but have you tried? Have you presented your idea in a constructive way? Many people predict failure before they even try, and of course, those become self-fulfilling prophecies. The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction (Proverbs 16:21). When you present your solution to a problem, be very discerning about how you say it and make your words pleasant. Please also be aware sometimes a problem is far more involved than you know, and there may be extenuating circumstances of which you have no knowledge.

A study showed if you have a good friend at work, you are much more likely to be satisfied with your job. How would you describe your work relationships? Do you just tolerate your coworkers, or would you count at least some of them as good friends? Your answer to those questions could have a lot to do with how you feel about your job. I want to talk about what you can do to work well with others, to make those working relationships more pleasant and to have more unity where you work. The workplace can bring out the worst in people, but as ambassadors for Jesus Christ, the workplace is our opportunity to shine as lights in a dark place and change the atmosphere by learning how to work well with others. One person can make a difference, so why shouldn't that one person be you? Here is my number one suggestion for working well with others: Don't play the blame game. Shifting the blame for any situation is a big no-no. I'm not suggesting you take blame for something that was not your responsibility, but don't alienate coworkers by pointing fingers, especially in a meeting or where multiple people are present. Often problems must be addressed and those responsible must be identified and corrected. But the way you go about this will make all the difference in helping correct a problem or making it worse. You should always confront privately, one-on-one, after you have had time to think it through, form your words, control your anger, and make sure you're speaking truth in love—meaning you're doing this for the good of the other person not to vent your frustration. You could win a person over this way. Remember, pick your fights. There are some hills that simply aren't worth dying on, so be willing to let some things go.

I thought it important to talk about times of crucial conversations, because quite honestly, they can be helpful in unifying people on the job. But if not handled correctly, they can cause division. As Christ-followers we should always speak the truth in love, and that just means you hold these crucial conversations for the purpose of helping another person understand, keeping their welfare in mind. You speak the truth with the right motivation. Every crucial conversation needs to be surrounded by prayer. If you know in advance that such a conversation will occur, obviously you have time to pray specifically about it. If not, that's when you send up emergency prayers for that conversation. If you will pray in advance, asking for wisdom, making certain your motivation is one of helping not blaming or condemning, asking God to help you see this person as he does, it will make a huge difference in how you handle the conversation. Here's an example of a crucial conversation on your job: Imagine you are a manager, and you have an employee who is not being truthful with you. Records are lost, money is missing, reports are doctored—and now you must have a crucial conversation with this employee about these issues. The stakes are high—the employee could be fired—and you are already feeling the emotions of such a conversation in advance. How do you handle this crucial conversation? Consider first that it is best not to cause the other person to become defensive or shut down and refuse to share if you can avoid it. Even if you have proof that they are guilty, a finger-pointing approach doesn't work. In our hypothetical case, you might begin by saying, “If the information I have is correct, it seems that your reports are not factually accurate, and it appears that the use of funds has not been according to company policy. Can you shed any light on these?” Think of what you really want to achieve through this crucial conversation. Do you want the relationship to survive? Do you want this person to learn from these mistakes and move forward? If your goal is not only to confront wrongdoing but to correct it and move forward, then think of how you need to approach this person to achieve those results. In a conversation about a church situation where a staff person had to be confronted about wrong behavior, the question was asked, “Did you try to restore that person?” In this case, the position had to be relinquished because of the nature of the offense, but was anyone trying to help restore this person spiritually? Unfortunately, the answer was no. The goal was to ask for his resignation, with little or no thought given to restoration. This conversation might have had a better outcome if the goal of the conversation had been more than just requesting a resignation but also trying to restore that person to a right relationship with God. Galatians 6:1 reminds us: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. That's a good guideline for determining our purpose for a crucial conversation. Now, let's talk about how we deal with strong emotions in a crucial conversation. If you're like me, you probably have difficulty controlling your emotions when you're in these situations. Crucial conversations are almost always high-charged emotional conversations. They are about issues that are sensitive; they often bring to light some wrong behavior or mistake that is not easy to talk about. And that can cause all kinds of emotional responses. In this hypothetical situation of an employee who has proven to be dishonest in several areas, it's like catching your kid with his hand in the cookie jar—the proof is irrefutable, but they still try to avoid the consequences. So, how can this crucial conversation move forward to an effective conclusion when you or the other person is angry, scared, or hurt?

If you had a person who caused you lots of grief, would you pass up an opportunity to get back at that person? Our friend, Fran, could have gotten her boss in trouble, but because Jesus was beside her, giving her love and pity for Marilyn, she has chosen to back off and let Marilyn off the hook. Marilyn can't cover up her obvious relief as she realizes Fran won't insist on her right to escalate this issue. Marilyn realizes Fran has saved her a lot of potential trouble. "Okay," Marilyn says, "I'll get off a memo to you confirming what we've agreed to. And this will all be between us. If you can improve your rating, then no one has to know about the whole thing—right?" "Sure, Marilyn," Fran replies, and she gets up to leave. Marilyn closes the door behind her, and Fran has a strong feeling Marilyn may have ended up in tears. "Jesus, if I'd been on my own, I would have kept pushing her and insisted on talking with Ed. But now I see that by backing off, I've shown Marilyn mercy—the way you always show mercy to me—and her whole attitude changed toward me—right in front of my eyes." "Well, Fran," Jesus replies, "that's why I guided you to back off. You had every right to escalate this matter to a higher level, and Marilyn's lie would have been exposed. But you chose to show mercy to Marilyn. You were able to see her through my eyes, and so instead of getting angry and demanding your rights, you gave them up. Marilyn just read I Corinthians 13." "She did?" Fran replies. "I didn't see a Bible on her desk? I don't think she's ever read the Bible, Lord." "No, not in the Bible, she read it in you, Fran. You are the Living Edition of God's Word. Now, you can wait and see what will happen because you chose to be merciful.” Jesus says the words Fran longs to hear: "Well done, good and faithful servant." Tears come to Fran's eyes. Just to know the Lord is pleased with her is all she needs to know. "You know, Lord," Fran says, "even if I'd been fired on the spot, I could make it just hearing you say those words to me. I guess I don't really need Marilyn's good appraisal; all I need is yours." "If you'll keep that clearly focused in your mind, Fran, you'll always do the right thing," Jesus says. Fran has had another incredible lesson from Jesus on how to deal with difficult situations. And in the process, she's been a witness to a woman who desperately needs to know Jesus. Who knows what will come from all this.

Fran has been given a very bad appraisal and put "on notice" by her manager, Marilyn, because Fran refused to submit dishonest numbers to a prospect, as Marilyn told her to do. With Jesus to guide her, Fran has calmly asked to exercise her right to talk with the VP of Human Resources, Ed, and voice her disagreement with the very bad appraisal she received. It has become clear to Fran, by the way Marilyn is reacting, that she doesn't want her to talk to Ed, and she is certain Marilyn has been lying to her. Marilyn stares at Fran with a look of fear and hatred, and she says to Fran, "If you think you can get me in trouble, you're wrong, Fran. My job is secure; they'll believe what I tell them, not what you write on that form or say to Ed." For the first time, Fran sees Marilyn is an insecure, desperate woman. The facade of being in charge and having it all together has fallen off like a coat. Seeing this, Fran can feel nothing but pity for Marilyn. "Lord," she says to Jesus, "look at her. She's pitiful." "Yes, Fran, you're looking through my eyes now and you see Marilyn to be what she is: A very insecure and frightened woman,” Jesus says to Fran. And now Fran knows what she should do. She turns to Marilyn, and says, "You know, Marilyn, maybe it's not really necessary for me to talk to Ed at this time. If you'll just tell me exactly what I have to do to improve my performance, and put that in writing for me, I'll do everything I can honestly do to improve. I believe another appraisal will be due in three months, and hopefully by then you will be able to change it. That could solve the whole issue, couldn't it?" Fran turns to Jesus with a funny look. "I didn't intend to say that, Lord. Where did that come from?" Jesus smiles at her. "From me. You prayed that your words would be pleasing to me, so I put them in your mind. That's an answer to prayer, Fran." Fran is amazed, and she looks at Marilyn, who has quietly sat down and seems much calmer, almost sheepish. "Fran," she says, "I, uh, I'm sure, uh... Well, yeah, I think that's a possibility. You could possibly pull your appraisal up in three months. Do you still want to talk to Ed?" Marilyn asks. "No," Fran replies, "as long as I have in writing exactly what I'm supposed to do, I'm willing to give it a three-month trial before talking to Ed." Fran could have caused Marilyn a lot of trouble; instead, she chooses to show mercy. And all because Jesus was there with her, guiding her every word.

Fran, our workplace woman has just received a very unfair and vindictive appraisal from her manager. This means Fran will be officially "on notice," and could lose her job in three months. She went into panic mode, but with Jesus right beside her, she hears him tell her exactly what to say. Fran turns to Marilyn, her boss, "Well, Marilyn, I think the procedures give me the right to voice my objection to this appraisal. I'd like to express my feelings." Marilyn's face gets redder, and she stands over Fran intimidatingly. "You can do whatever you like, but it won't get you anywhere. I've reviewed all this with Ed, Vice President of Human Resources, and he's in total agreement with what I've done. Insubordination is an offense for which any employee can be fired. You'll find it in the personnel handbook, if you don't believe me." "Oh, I believe you, Marilyn," Fran replies, "but I don't feel I've been insubordinate, and I'd like to follow the procedures for expressing how I feel.” Fran is amazed at the calmness in her voice, and the peaceful feeling she has. She's also amazed at Marilyn's lack of control; she's never seen her so angry and hateful. Jesus whispers in Fran's ear, "Please remember that Marilyn is angry because you did the right thing. You were a light shining in her darkness, and she didn't like it. Don't take it personally; I'm going to get you through this, Fran, I promise." Just hearing his voice assures Fran, and the peace that passes understanding sweeps over her. But somehow, the more peaceful she feels, the more upset and out of control Marilyn seems to be. After pacing in front of Fran, Marilyn turns and says, "There's a place on page 3 of the appraisal for your comments, if you insist on getting yourself in further trouble. After you write them, return the appraisal to me. I'll take it to Ed." "Marilyn," Fran says, "I can request an interview with Ed, isn't that right?" When Fran sees how angry this makes Marilyn, she says to Jesus, "Oops, I think I said the wrong thing. Guess I shouldn't have brought that up, huh Lord?" "No," Jesus responds, "it's okay, Fran. Marilyn is uncomfortable because she's been lying to you, and she knows you could get her in a bunch of trouble if you go talk to Ed." "Lying to me? Why, of course," Fran replies. Suddenly it's all so clear to Fran. Marilyn is bluffing about Ed, trying to frighten Fran. She never dreamed Fran would think of talking to Ed. And now Fran has the advantage over Marilyn. All she has to do is insist on her right to talk to Ed, and Marilyn will be in trouble. What will Fran do now?

Our friend, Fran, a workplace woman, was headed into her boss's office for her annual appraisal. But thankfully, she's not going there alone; she is aware Jesus is right beside her. "Come on in, Fran," Marilyn says in a rather rigid voice, as she closes the door behind her. "I've already completed your appraisal, and what I'd like you to do is look it over and then we'll discuss it.” She hands Fran the appraisal form. Fran's eyes begin to focus on the appraisal form and slowly she realizes she has been given a very poor appraisal. Marilyn has given her the grade of "Does not meet the requirements of the job," which means Fran will be put on notice. By being put on notice, she is given three months to improve and if not, she will be fired. She gulps hard and silently prays. "Lord, do you see this? Can you believe it? There's no way she can justify this poor rating. It means I get no raise, and I may get fired. Lord!" "Yes, Fran, I see it. The important thing now is to stay calm. Remember, you prayed about your words, so be very careful what you say. Measure your words carefully," Jesus assures her. With her heart beating like crazy, Fran looks up at Marilyn. "I guess you can see that this appraisal is very shocking to me. I really don't understand how you can honestly appraise my work as not meeting the requirements. Here are my sales figures; as you know, I'm second in the whole office in volume and first in customer retention. I just don't understand," Fran says to Marilyn, as she hands her the sales figures. "Listen, Fran, numbers don't tell the whole story. You demonstrated a total unwillingness to obey orders, you were insubordinate, and as a result we lost the D3 University business. I could fire you for that, Fran, but I'm giving you a break. You have three months to shape up and decide if you're a team player or not. Otherwise, you'll be looking for another job." Fran can't believe her ears. "Jesus," she says, "are you going to let her get by with this? You know how unfair this is; after all, I was doing what you told me, I was doing the right thing, and now I'm about to lose my job. Jesus, where are you?" "I'm right here, Fran; I haven't moved an inch," he says comfortingly to her. "Have I ever failed you?" he asks Fran. "Have I ever left you or forsaken you?" "No," Fran replies, "but this is different. I'm really in trouble. What do I do?" "I thought you'd never ask," says Jesus, and he begins to put into her mind what to say to Marilyn.

I continue the story of our friend, Fran and Jesus on the Job. A few months ago, Fran was faced with an ethical decision. She actually refused to make a presentation to a client using deceptive methods—even though her manager asked her to do it—and as a result the account was taken away from her. She made the right choice, though it wasn't easy. Today, as Fran arrives at work, she's a little nervous because it's the day for her appraisal with her manager, Marilyn. She says to Jesus: "I'll be glad when this is over. I hate appraisals. But I hope it goes well because the better the appraisal, the more raise I get, and I could use a nice raise." Jesus replies: "Fran, I'll go right into that appraisal with you, so take a deep breath and know that whatever happens, I'm in this with you." "Thanks, Lord," she smiles at Jesus' words of encouragement. It really helps her to keep her perspective. After all, she works for Jesus not for Marilyn, and as long as he is pleased with her work, she has the approval that is important. "You know, Lord, my track record is good this year. I was second highest in sales volume in the whole office, and my account retention record is the best. And, you know, I got that big order from John Warton last week; nobody's been able to break that account before. So, I think I'm in good shape." "Do you think Marilyn will have anything to say about the D3 University account, Fran?" Jesus asks. The D3 University account is the one Fran had to give up because she refused to submit deceptive figures in her proposal. Marilyn gave it to Tom, a young salesman, who blew it and lost the business. "Well, who knows, Lord, but with my good record, I don't see how she can refuse to give me a good rating on my appraisal. After all, I didn't lose that account; Tom did! Well, it's about time to go.” Fran starts to rush out. "Why don't you have a quiet moment of prayer before you go in there? Do you have time?" Jesus asks. Fran smiles, as she shuts her office door. "Of course I do, Lord. I can't afford not to take time for prayer, can I?” She sits down beside Jesus and prays quietly, "Dear Father, give me your strength, your perspective, your calmness and your peace as I go into this appraisal. I ask you to put the right words in my mouth. I pray for a favorable appraisal, if that is your will. Thanks for giving me Jesus to be right here beside me during this. That helps a lot. I pray this in his name. Amen." Together they head toward Marilyn's office for the appraisal.

Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 20 that is a puzzle for us to understand. It's the story of an employer who offers to hire workers for a certain amount, the workers agree to the pay, and they go to work in his vineyard. Some start working early in the morning and work all day, others are hired throughout the day, and finally at five o'clock this employer hires even more people to come and work in the vineyard for the last hour of the day. At the end of the workday, the employer pays them the exact same amount, even though some have worked twelve hours, some ten, and some just one hour. Well, as you can understand, those who worked the entire day were not happy campers. When they received the pay they had agreed to, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,' they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day' (Matthew 20:11-12). To our human minds, this just seems wrong! It's not fair! Those are probably some of the first words you ever uttered: It's not fair! We're born with an “it's not fair” attitude—wanting things to be equal, fair, right. But this parable emphasizes the fact that the Kingdom of God is not a fair kingdom! Grace is not fair. God pours his grace and blessings on us though we never deserve them. The Kingdom of God is run on Jesus rules—and those are totally different than the way the world works. Jesus tells this parable to help his followers understand that he will bless those he chooses to bless and be generous to those he chooses, and we should always remember how unfairly God has treated us—and be very grateful. He doesn't deal with us as our sins deserve. He doesn't dispense grace to us based on our performance. His kingdom is not like ours; his rules are usually the opposite of what the world's rules are. As Jesus tells this parable, this is how the landowner responds: But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?' (Matthew 20:13-15). Jesus is trying to show us that God is God, and he runs the show. He rules the universe. It runs on the Jesus rules. But here's the thing—the Jesus rules are meant to bring us peace and contentment, and they do when we live by them. It's upside-down living, I know, but it brings immediate and eternal joy. His message in this parable is that we are to work without envy. We are not to compare ourselves to others and envy what others get or have or do. Envy will eat you alive. Proverbs 14:30 says: A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Is there some envy in your heart today—toward coworkers or others? It will rot your bones—destroy your health, shorten your life. If you want to work by Jesus rules, then you need to clean out the envy in your heart. Believe me, you'll be so glad you did. In Matthew 21 Jesus tells the parable of the two sons. The father told the first son to go work in the vineyard. That son refused to go, but later he changed his mind and went. The second son agreed to go, but then he didn't. Jesus asked, Which of the two did what his father wanted? Obviously the first son did what his father asked. One of the things this parable teaches us is that we should walk our talk. The second son gave the right answer, he looked and sounded good, but he failed to deliver. He was all talk and no walk. A good rule of thumb is “Under promise and over deliver.” That's what the first son did. He delivered more than he promised. His talk wasn't very impressive, but he actually went out and got the work done. Have you known people who could talk a really good game but never put the elbow-grease behind their talk?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen What is clear is that as followers of Jesus Christ we are called to handle conflict differently. In verse 1 of John 16, Jesus says to his disciples, all this I have told you so that you will not fall away. Why is this significant? This singular verse follows John 15, and Jesus teaching about abiding. Just as we discussed earlier this week, Jesus knew we would face conflict. In fact, he is even more specific about this conflict in John 15:18. Jesus reminds us that if the world hates us know that it hated him before it hated you or me. Now let's put this together. Jesus wants us to abide, because he knows we will need him. He knows we need his love, his friendship, his counsel and his joy. The conflicts in our day to day are heavy, but sometimes our Father is using these conflicts to help us to bear more fruit for his Kingdom. Yes, I said it. God uses these conflicts to grow us! John 15:2 states, every branch that does bear fruit he prunes that it will bear more fruit. Pruning is a verb meant to trim by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth. Sometimes conflict happens to remove things from our lives that don't belong. That could be at work too. God can use these moments to shine a light of our need for a greater reliance or abiding with him. Another word used in these verses in place of abide is remain. Remain or stay. How often are we not remaining with Jesus? Are we wandering too far from the perfect, life-giving vine of Jesus Christ? This is the vine of perfect love—a vine that says we can ask whatever we wish in Jesus' name! A vine that doesn't consider us servants but friends. A vine that apart from, we can do nothing. Don't ever forget this. Apart from Jesus we can do nothing. This means conflict. We should not engage in conflict without seeking Jesus. Now, conflict isn't the only pruning God uses in our lives, but surely when we are in the midst of conflict, God's number one goal for us is how we seek him in the trial!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Is a past conflict weighing on you? Perhaps it is something someone did to you or is it the other way around? As Christians in the workplace, we must hold ourselves to the higher standards of a calling to live our life in a way that reflects Jesus to others. More specifically, we are called to the greatest command to love one another as Jesus Christ loved us. The problem can be sometimes that our past conflicts may impact how others view our actions now or how we view others. Perhaps you weren't following Jesus when you started working. You lead a very different life now, but people that knew you “before” remember conflict you caused. Old behaviors where maybe you caused conflict can linger. Maybe you were prone to carry the office gossip, or perhaps you took credit for a project that you worked on with other colleagues! But now you walk away and try not to say anything, and you try to ensure that you give words of encouragement to others for the work they do. Your choice not to engage in these old behaviors any more may even isolate you from colleagues or even a boss. Those that knew you as the office gossip or credit grabber may not initially trust your good intentions. Paul is a terrific example of a follower who started off his vocation creating a lot of conflict. From the book of Acts, we know Saul was a persecutor of the followers of Jesus. They were truly frightened of Saul! After his miraculous conversion, Saul, now Paul, is brought back to Jerusalem to meet with the disciples. And, you guessed it, they were initially afraid to meet with him! What conflict with someone from the past has impacted you? Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of conflict. Maybe a colleague or boss placed the blame on you for a key project not being completed on time. Have you been on the receiving end of that gossip? Maybe you were called out for your faith or for holding a point of view that is contrary to others in your workplace. None of this builds trust or confidence. However, as followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to forgive others. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins (Mark 11:25). I am not suggesting you should forget the actions of others, in fact, being aware of past occurrences can help you navigate them better in the future if they happen again. Forgiveness will allow you to continue to shine the light of Jesus at work and draw closer to God.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Staying quiet when you are in conflict is hard! I know I have been guilty of saying too much during a conflict—especially if it is something I am passionate about! Getting wound-up during a conflict is easy. You have a point of view, and you think it is the right point of view. Maybe you have stated your point of view, but it seems like no one is listening. Perhaps you are experiencing a conflict and don't know what to say, or you feel plain defeated in trying to continually do the right things and it doesn't seem to get you anywhere. Are your words empty? The Bible cautions of the words that we use. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words (Matthew 6:7). Are you talking a lot but without a lot of substance? Proverbs 21:35 in the message translation also warns, Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save a lot of grief (Proverbs 21:35). In the heat of a conflict, you can often say things you don't want to say. My greatest encouragement is to tell you to remember it is ultimately God that fights your battles. He even calls us to be silent. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still (Exodus 14:14). Have you ever tried deploying silence and waiting for the Lord to work on your behalf in a conflict? In the world this is counter intuitive. We are told to speak up and to fight for our point of view. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). In this silence and waiting, turn to the Lord in prayer. Those empty words that you may say during a conflict are better used in a silent prayer to God to step in for you. Prayer is powerful. It draws you near to the Lord and helps you increase your trust that he knows the plans he has for you.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Sometimes when we are in the midst of a conflict, we talk about it with others to seek counsel. Seeking counsel from others is not a bad thing. In fact, Proverbs 15:22 tells us that without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed, and in Proverbs 24:6 we learn surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers. Sometimes during a conflict, we seek counsel from people who may tell us what we want to hear instead of what we need to hear. You know that group of friends or colleagues that always seems to share your point of view, the ones that cheer you on and will tell you the other party is just plain wrong. In industrial psychology, we call this group think. Irving Janus, a Yale psychologist defines group think as a mode of thinking that people in a group engage in where striving for unanimity overrides the motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action. Finding people that will agree with us can certainly feel good in the moment, but it can have monumental consequences when it comes to resolving a conflict. In 1 Kings 22 Jehoshaphat sought counsel to discern whether he should go to battle. The prophets that he would typically take counsel from told him to go … for the Lord will give it into the king's hand (1 Kings 22:6). When he asked if there was another prophet that he could inquire of, Micaiah was suggested. Jehoshaphat states, I hate him because he never prophesies anything good about me, but always bad (1 Kings 22:8). In the remaining verses of 1 Kings 22 we learn Jehosaphat goes to battle after not listening to Micaiah, and he lost his life. When you are seeking advice during a conflict, are you listening to wise counsel or are you listening to the voices that always agree with you? And more importantly are you seeking counsel from other believers? Good counsel asks questions; it challenges you and will seek to help you maintain and discern how you can come to a good resolution to a conflict. Good counsel will turn you toward God's Word and to your relationship with Jesus as you look for solutions in whatever situation you are in.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Sometimes the headlines are too much. These days the news is full of conflict, and it seems like this conflict has made its way into work in many ways. Whether it is continued conflict about gender or racial bias, income inequality, views on sustainability or environment or politics, we can count on people at work having differing opinions. And these opinions can bubble over into conflict when we least expect it. In John 16:33 we are reminded by Jesus in this world we will have tribulation. Tribulation is defined as great trouble or suffering. You can see how each of these issues we just mentioned can cause great trouble and suffering. Beyond these macro level issues that we are all aware of, what about the day-to-day conflicts at work? It could be something as simple as a colleague not completing their work in a timely fashion which causes your work to be late, or a boss that requires you to be in the office every day but only comes in once a week. While Jesus promises us all this conflict, he also tells us to take heart because he has overcome the world. Earlier in John 16:33, Jesus also tells us that in him, we will have peace. How can you find the peace of Jesus in these conflict moments? This week we will look at ways we can find the peace that Jesus offers. Perhaps some of your conflicts are self-inflicted. Are you listening to wise counsel? Are you listening and staying silent enough? Maybe you are saying too much, when it is God you should be reliant on. How closely you abide to your peace, Jesus, will be indicative of your greatest success or failure during times of conflict. Remember, Jesus promises us this conflict, but he also offers us the greatest solution in himself! If you are feeling overwhelmed by a macro level conflict in our world today, Jesus isn't calling you to avoid it, he is calling you to rely on him! If you are going through a micro level conflict at work or at home, he isn't calling you to avoid it either, he is calling you to rely on him!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen As a follower of Jesus Christ, I have thought a lot about what God wants me to do with conflict, and I've realized I can only control how I react and engage. I can't control the other person or people with whom I may be in conflict. I have thought about different types of conflict, and while all require personal engagement, there are some in business that boil down to contracts and paperwork and have nothing to do with an interpersonal spat between two people. In both circumstances, God calls us to walk in a manner that reflects our kingdom status as we walk as ambassadors at work and in this world. Conflicts at work can be weighty. They can impact you personally, and they can impact an organization's culture. Conflicts can ruin long-standing relationships and creative divides that close a business for good—especially a family-owned business. But one thing I learned about conflict, especially as a believer in Jesus Christ, is that God uses conflict to prune me. He uses these moments, whether personal or in business, to make me better for his kingdom. John 15:2 states: every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will bear more fruit. Pruning is a verb meant to trim by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth. Pruning is good. Pruning is meant to help you and me do more for the kingdom. Pruning is meant to show us what to do more or less of. Pruning can remove people- it may even remove a job. I was curious about workplace conflict statistics, and I learned that at the high end, statistics state that 85% of employees report conflict at work. A study from the Peaceful Leaders Academy estimates that employees spend an average of 33.3 minutes a day in negative discussions about other colleagues! Even in a small company, let's say 25 people, this results in 13.875 hours of time spent in potential conflict! Of employees who report conflict, 57% of them have seen this escalate to the level of physical altercation! A recent Harvard Business Review article reports that most conflicts at work are caused by differing perspectives or different personalities. I have learned that you can't manage what you can't measure, and apparently measuring conflict is important! We cannot avoid conflict, but we can strive for peace with others. What does this peacemaking look like and how do we do it? As we look at resolving conflict through our biblical lens, is it possible that others can align with us if they don't believe what we do? The answer is mostly yes, and sometimes, no. However, if we are honest, even conflict with other believers can go unresolved. The answer is still sometimes yes and sometimes no. Matthew 5:9 tells us: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.” One of my all-time favorite books is The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. I have had this book since 2007 on my shelf and find that I have referenced it many times over the years to describe the good and bad of handling conflict. Sande's visual of what he calls the slippery slope of conflict outlines what he calls peace-making, peace-faking and peace-breaking. Of course, the goal is to be in peace-making mode, but what about the other end of this spectrum? Peace-faking is described as an escape response to conflict with the ultimate response of suicide. Peace-breaking is described as an attack response to conflict with the ultimate end of murder. I just mentioned that 57% of employees have seen a conflict escalating to a physical altercation; let's think about this as peace-breaking. Obviously, this is an attack response and is on the slippery slope to something even worse. What are the roots of most conflicts? I just mentioned the Harvard Business Review which said that differing perspectives and differing personalities cause most conflict, but it is much more specific than this.

God sent Moses to confront Pharaoh several times, to try to resolve their impasse in a way that would be best for both. Moses told Pharaoh, “Let my people go,” but Pharaoh refused to take the advice, and he paid a big price for it. As we've talked about constructive confrontation, I've encouraged you not to avoid confrontation when it is the right thing to do. But we also have to be aware that even constructive confrontation doesn't always work, because we do not have control over how the other person will react. It's important to remember even when we do the right thing in the right way, the confrontation may not have an immediate good result. The other person must ultimately choose how he or she will respond, and sometimes it doesn't work out the way we had hoped. That doesn't mean we failed. Jesus was often rejected by those he confronted with the truth, and he allowed people to walk away. Even when you believe you know what is best for other people, ultimately, you must be reconciled to the fact that they make their own choices. In some situations, you may have the power or the authority to execute an ultimatum if the other person refuses to conform. For example, if you confront an employee about their poor work habits and they refuse to change, they may indeed face the consequence of losing their job. But before you present the ultimatum to that person, try to achieve the desired result—changing that person's poor work habits in a more conciliatory manner. It may work, and you won't need to issue the ultimatum. In other situations, you may be powerless to enforce the change you are trying to achieve. Then, depending on the relationship, you must be prepared to live with it without allowing it to ruin your life, or you have to make changes if you are not prepared to live with it. I want to encourage you to get past your fear and resistance to confrontation and learn how to confront when it is right to do. It is good to speak the truth in love even if it is painful.

What is the best way to confront a person? When you are ready to confront, you need to open the conversation in a way that avoids sounding like finger-pointing. Think about it: Whenever someone approaches you in a finger-pointing mode, you most likely become defensive. If you begin the conversation with something that sounds like “you're wrong and I'm right,” you won't get to first base. Remember, we are aiming at constructive confrontation, an outcome that will be beneficial to everyone. We need to choose words carefully, words that don't create a defensive reaction, if possible. Here are some examples of opening words that could get the conversation off in the right direction: “I wanted to talk with you personally because I believe between the two of us, we can find an appropriate solution to this issue that will help both of us in the end.” “I believe when there's any kind of conflict between two people, the best way to resolve it is to bring it out in the open and discuss it. So, I decided it might be a good idea for us to talk about this issue, because I need to know how you feel about it.” “After some thought I decided the best thing I can do is express openly to you how I feel about this and give you an opportunity to express your feelings as well.” It is very smart to compose these opening words ahead of time. Recently a good friend told me of her need to confront her father, and she was very fearful of doing it. But it was necessary. I suggested she write it out so that when she talked with him, her nervousness wouldn't cause her to stumble with her words and say it the wrong way. She did just that, wrote a couple of paragraphs before dialing his number, and then did what was difficult but necessary to do. She reported the confrontation went well, though she is not sure if he will take her advice. But at least she was able to get it said in the right way, and he listened.

Confrontation can be very constructive and helpful when it is done for the right reason, at the right time, and in the right way. Yesterday, I talked about searching our hearts to make certain our motives are pure. Always pray in advance so you don't confront out of anger or selfishness. Confronting at the right time is very important. Let's say you need to confront someone on your job because their poor work habits are affecting others, and it's affecting the quality of the work effort of your organization. You know this situation needs to be confronted. Pick the right time and place. Never confront when others are present. It should always be a one-on-one encounter. Embarrassing or humiliating someone is sure to backfire on you, so choose a place that is private and conducive to a confidential conversation. Consider an off-site location. That often works best in business confrontations. Consider confronting over a meal. It seems to break down some barriers when we share a meal with someone. But again, it needs to be in a private setting. Timing needs to be carefully considered. Make sure you time your confrontation when you are in control of your own emotions. It's not a bad idea to follow the “sleep on it” rule of thumb before confronting. Also time it when you have carefully considered what you will say. Consider timing as it relates to the other person as well. If you know this is the busiest week of the month for that person, you might be well advised to wait until next week. Or if you are aware that this person has recently experienced a personal problem or a health issue, take those things into consideration. Someone who is already struggling with another issue likely will not handle one more thing very well. Wise Solomon wrote: a prudent man gives thought to his steps (Proverbs 14:15) and a patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29). Patience and prudence are very important as we think about confronting someone.

Constructive confrontation—does that sound like an oxymoron to you? I want to assure you confrontation can indeed be very constructive when it is done for the right reasons, at the right time, and in the right way. Remember when the children of Israel were held captive as slaves in Egypt? God told Moses, “Get up early in the morning and confront Pharaoh…and say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me'” (Exodus 8:20). Moses was sent on a mission of confrontation by the Lord. Unfortunately, Pharaoh chose not to heed Moses' warning, and he suffered immense harm and eventual death as a result. But God kept sending Moses to confront Pharaoh so these disasters could be avoided. That was the purpose of the confrontations; it was a very constructive and appropriate action to take. Can you think of a person or a situation in your life right now that needs some constructive confrontation? How can you tell if it is constructive or not? Consider these questions: If the confrontation were successfully completed, would the confronted person benefit from it? Does this situation/person really require confrontation, or do you need an attitude change or more patience? Is your desire to confront imbedded in a desire to get even, or is it wrapped up in anger and vengeance? What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God (James 4:1-2). Anytime the turmoil inside us is simply our own selfish unfulfilled desires or covetousness or anger, obviously we are the one who needs confronting and changing, first and foremost. As you think about the person or situation in your life that needs confrontation, search your heart in prayer before the Lord, read this passage from James 4, and make certain your motives are in line with God's Word. Otherwise, you will be confronting in the power of the flesh for the wrong reasons, and I can assure you that will fail miserably.

If we took a survey of the things we don't like to do, confrontation would come out somewhere near the top. Whether on the job or in our personal lives, most of us struggle with how and when to confront someone. It is not a pleasant experience, and therefore, we often avoid or postpone it. Confrontation can be one of the most constructive things we can do when it is done at the right time, for the right reason, in the right way. Let's talk about what happens when we avoid confrontation. Suppose you and I worked together, and you were doing something that caused me difficulty in some way or another—you were doing something wrong. But instead of bringing it out in the open with you and trying to find a solution, I just let it boil up inside me until what was a small issue became a major stumbling block in my mind. Now in this hypothetical situation, instead of addressing the issue in a constructive way, I go into gossip and complaining mode about you. I tell another coworker what I don't like about you. This other person is influenced by what I've told her about you, so now, instead of solving the problem, I've spread the problem further because I've infected someone else with my gossip. You can see how this could continue to spiral throughout the organization, until we have a major conflict involving not just two people, but several others as well. Has the problem been solved? No, not at all, because the one person who needs to be confronted is the object of gossip and backbiting, and she may not even realize her behavior has caused a problem. Suppose instead I decided to confront you, and I did it in such a way that there was a possibility you might handle it well. And suppose indeed you do handle it well. Now, you are in a position to correct whatever it is that is causing a problem—or to correct my perception—and you and I have an improved relationship. Nobody else needs to ever know anything about it. By constructive confrontation, we've eliminated tons of unnecessary stress and avoided all kinds of unpleasant encounters. Good idea? I think so.

As our story unfolded in part one, Louise, Fran's Christian coworker, is asked to approve an expense account of a senior account rep in her group—Jerry—and Louise knows he has included meals that were not with clients but were with his girlfriend. Louise talks with Fran about this dilemma, and Fran invites her over in the evening for prayer and a search of Scripture so Louise will know what to do. That's where our story left off. Just as Fran gets her children ready for bed, the doorbell rings, and Louise arrives. "Whew," Fran says to Louise, "as much as I love them, it's always nice to have the peace and quiet that comes once they're in bed." "But they're so nice, Fran," Louise says. "They really are nice." "Thanks, Louise," Fran replies. "Well, have you given the problem any more thought?" Louise asks. "Off and on all afternoon," Fran says. "I couldn't come up with a specific verse which I thought gave a specific answer, could you?" "Well, not exactly," Louise says. "But I know it would be wrong for me to approve the report, since I know Jerry is cheating. That much I know." "Right, I agree," Fran says. "So now we just have to consider your other options." "Let's start with prayer," Louise suggests, and they spend considerable time praying together. Both pray for wisdom from above, and Louise again confirms to the Lord that she is willing to do his will no matter what the cost will be to her. Fran prays their minds will be renewed by God's Spirit so they won't think incorrectly, and they will know God's good and perfect will. "Louise," Fran says, "I suggest we start by listing all the options you have." "Good idea," Louise agrees, and they get a pad to write on. After some discussion, they come up with only two options: Turn in the report without Louise's approval on it and see what happens. Return the report to Jerry and ask him to complete it and turn it in himself. No longer is any consideration given to approving the report as it is, or lying in any way. They both agree that is not a biblical option. "Let's think about what will happen in each case," Fran suggests. So, she and Louise write down everything they can think of. Option 1, they decide, is simply postponing the inevitable. The report would come back to Louise for completion, and she'd still be faced with the dilemma. Option 2 would mean a direct confrontation with Jerry and would undoubtedly cause him to be very upset with Louise. And Louise is fearful of retribution on his part. After all, Jerry's been around a long time and has some pull in the company. "You know," Louise says, "it's not like Jerry would even miss the $87, Fran. He makes plenty of money. You'd think I was talking about $87,000, the way he acts about this." "Remember Louise," Fran responds, "money makes people do crazy things—even small amounts of money. That's why Jesus said you can't serve God and Money, with a capital M. It has power over people to cause them to do all kinds of dishonest things, and often totally out of proportion to the amount." "You know, you're right," Louise says. "I remember last week I was filling out an expense account for myself and I was really tempted to put down a meal I didn't have to pay for. I had to force myself not to do it, because I wanted to pick up $15." "Oh, it's happened to me many times," Fran says, "and I haven't always done the right thing." "I guess I can't be too hard on poor Jerry," Louise says. "After all, if it weren't for Jesus, I'm sure I'd do the same thing. And even with Jesus, I'm tempted to cheat for a few measly dollars." "Yeah, you're right," Fran agrees. "You know, Louise, we didn't pray for Jerry. We should." And with that, they stop where they are to pray for Jerry, for his salvation, for his family, for Gail, his girlfriend, and for a change of heart to be willing to do the right thing. "I hadn't thought about praying for him," Louise says as they finish.

Let's discuss is the vindictive, malicious, even vicious coworkers who are openly trying to cause you problems and do you harm. The first thing you need to understand is these people are in a world of hurt! They won't admit it, but you can be certain they are miserable. It could be their hostile behavior is caused by the light and salt that emanates from you. You know, Jesus told us men love darkness, and if our lights are shining as they should, we will discover some people not only run from it, they fight it. Have you really stopped to think about what Peter is telling us when said: To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:21). The only way you can learn to accept unjust suffering is to constantly remind yourself that by doing so, you have an opportunity to share in Jesus' suffering, which gives you the great privilege of learning to follow in his steps. Think about it: When you are going through tough waters, you feel very close to someone who's been there before you. When you have an opportunity to taste the kind of suffering Jesus drank fully for us, then you know him better. And that in turn brings his resurrection power into our lives. We've been talking about difficult coworkers, as though the problem is always with the other person and never with us Christians. How I wish that were true, but I know better because I know me! It would do us all good to take a close look and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us if we're guilty of any of these difficult characteristics in our relationships with our coworkers. Peter wrote our lives should be above reproach so when others try to find something bad to say about us, they have to manufacture it! I am reminded of what Jesus said to his disciples when they were having difficulty getting along with each other: If you want to be first in my kingdom, you have to be a servant (Matthew 20:26). A servant heart is the sum total of what we've been saying here. As difficult as that is at times, it's much easier than doing it our way. And the benefits we reap are eternal ones. Let's go for it.

Let me ask you, have you ever had to deal with a condescending and arrogant coworker? They talk down to you; they know everything; they're unteachable; they're always right. They're not very easy to endure! I have a friend who worked in a bank, and she was having trouble getting along with an arrogant-type coworker. After prayer and consideration, she started "Project Love," her name for a planned program on her part to bridge the gap between her and her coworker. First, she invited her to have lunch with her. The coworker was a little surprised, but she accepted. Through this, they got to know each other, and my friend discovered underneath the arrogant attitude was a very insecure, fearful person with many personal problems. Now they've become friends, and this woman has frequently turned to my friend for counsel and help. Thankfully my friend was willing to submerge her own normal resentment toward this arrogant, prejudicial coworker and extend herself to make a bridge. Jesus taught us to love our enemies, and this is an example of how we put that principle into practice. It's helpful to remember we don't have to like others to love them. Loving them means acting toward them in considerate and loving ways, even though you may not feel it. Dealing with a domineering coworker Have you ever worked with someone who tried to manage everyone, including their manager? They're always telling you what to do, and everything in you wants to say, "Hey, you're not the boss around here!” Jesus told us to humble ourselves, and that's an important lesson for us to learn. Did you ever think we could use these relationships with domineering people to help us learn humility? It is humbling to keep your mouth shut and not bark back. It is even more humbling to take their direction! There may be times when that's the right thing for us to do. God is interested in developing Christ-like characteristics in us, and sometimes he uses unfair and uncomfortable circumstances for that purpose. Learning humility is how we become more and more transformed into the likeness of Jesus. If God has you in humility school right now, trust him to bring you through, and while you're there, learn your lessons well. Don't rebel and get bitter. Use it as a tool for righteousness. God is so good at doing that for us. Remember, if a confrontation is called for, our motives have to be carefully examined to make certain we're confronting for the other person's good, not just to vent our frustration.

Have you ever had a problem getting along with someone you work with? Most of us have, and it surely can cause a lot of grief, can't it? I can tell you Christians certainly are not immune to these interpersonal conflicts. We need some biblical principles to guide us. Let's consider the problems that arise when we deal with a negative coworker. Dealing with a negative coworker Our worlds are full of negative thinking and talking people. It seems they have nothing good or encouraging to say about anything or anyone. If you've ever had to work closely with a very negative individual (and who hasn't!), you know just how tough it is to be around that person. This is one of those times when you need lots of compassion, because compassion lengthens your tolerance and helps you think about where the other person is coming from and what's causing them to be so negative. I think without Christ, I'd be negative in this world most of the time. There are a couple of proverbs which apply here. A cheerful look brings joy to the heart (Proverbs 15:30). One way to fight the irritation is to keep your own spirits up, and a smile on your face will help do that. Have you learned the secret of smiling? I know when I'm feeling down, frustrated, or irritated, if I can make myself smile, it starts to change the way I feel. I think God gave us the ability to smile to keep us going in the middle of tough situations. I encourage you to try smiling a lot more. An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up (Proverbs 12:25). Some kind words spoken to that negative person might be the key to getting him or her to open up and share their real feelings with you, and in so doing, you may discover their negative attitude is a cover-up for fear or anxiety. If they can share that with you, it gives you an opportunity to be of help to them. It doesn't always work that way, but it's worth a try. Give them some kind words, in spite of their negativism. One warning here. Be careful you don't allow them to bring you down to their negative levels. Fight back by humming choruses to yourself. Quote Scripture to yourself. Change the conversation to something positive. Often, we allow negative people to set the tone and drag everybody else down with them. Guard your own mind against the onslaught of negativism.

I wonder how many of you are in a work environment where there is conflict among coworkers, perhaps even a personal conflict you are facing. It happens quite frequently, and as Christians, we need to be aware of biblical principles in dealing with these difficult coworkers. Yesterday we were talking about the lazy coworker, who doesn't do his or her share of the work. We pointed out one principle to consider is the extra-mile principle given in Matthew 5. I can hear some of you saying, "What? Are Christians supposed to be doormats? I don't buy that.” What I find myself and other Christians doing so often is rationalizing and watering down God's principles based on our own reasoning processes and the influence of this world's thinking on us. We think Jesus taught us to go the extra mile and love our enemies and all that, but he wasn't referring to this type of situation. And we begin to pick and choose our beliefs from Scripture. You know, I've decided if I'm going to make an error in applying God's Word, I'd like to err in favor of going too far rather than not doing enough, for a change. Now, let me assure you I don't think it's right for people to be lazy. But how other people act and react shouldn't change our commitment to God's principles. Matthew 5 gives principles for dealing with people who are doing the wrong thing; people who are against us, people who cause us problems and difficulties. I'm not saying we should do the lazy person's work forever, and never say anything. There are times when an open confrontation with the lazy coworker and/or with management is appropriate. Jesus confronted people frequently, but never to vent his own frustrations. He always confronted for their good and benefit, and I think that has to be our guiding principle in determining who and when to confront. What we must guard against is this build-up of bitterness, which can quickly happen when we're dealing with lazy coworkers. We can't blame bitterness on others. It's our responsibility to keep a root of bitterness from growing within us.

We typically spend eight hours a day on our jobs—with coworkers and peers whom we might never voluntarily choose to spend one-third of our waking hours each week. But there we are—together! And even though we're Christians, we're not immune to the irritations, aggravations, and outright conflicts that can exist between coworkers. Let's face it: coworkers can get to you! However, these relationships give us opportunities as Christians to demonstrate the power of Christ, to show that his presence makes a real difference in our everyday lives. Some close friends were at my home and several of them were sharing the struggles they are facing on their jobs with coworkers. But in each case, as they shared how God had helped them get along with those coworkers, they told of dying to their own rights and then watching God work miracles in those situations. And in each instance, their ability to deal in a Christ-like way with a difficult coworker has opened a door of witness on their jobs. In many of those situations, the coworker has not yet changed, and their behavior is extremely difficult. But even when they don't change, God can change us, so we are equipped to handle it properly. Often God just gives us grace to cope, grace to endure, grace to accept, even though the other person never changes. But isn't that just as great a miracle as changing the other person? I think so. Let's look at one type of difficulty we encounter with coworkers. Dealing with the lazy coworker Sometimes we have to work with a person who is lazy, and if we have to pick up his or her slack, we may find ourselves becoming bitter and resentful. And of course, that would show in sarcastic words, angry looks, body language, etc. In these situations, we need to know whether to confront the situation; to let the work go undone; to go to management; or to do the work for a while. One principle to consider is we are called to have an extra-mile attitude in our relationships with others. Read Matthew 5 beginning at verse 38 to refresh your memory on how Jesus taught us to go the extra-mile. Of course, this is not the world's solution, and it goes against all our natural reactions. But God may have good reasons for us to go the extra mile and be willing to do what we don't have to do.

I want to emphasize that the purpose of these stories is to help us remember that Jesus is with us all day every day on the job, and he wants to give us comfort, help, guidance, and strength. We must learn to practice his presence. Fran has some conversations with Jesus, which are obviously imaginary but based on Scripture. After all, that's how Jesus speaks to us—through his Word and his Spirit. So, with that, let's begin our story. "Fran, you got time for lunch today?" Louise asks as she pokes her head around Fran's door. Louise and Fran have become good friends, and it's great to have a fellow believer on the job to talk to. They meet for lunch once a week to pray for the company and for the people they work with. It has been a wonderful time of fellowship, and they've seen lots of answers to prayer. But this is not their prayer day, so Fran asks, "Something wrong?" "Well, kinda," Louise replies. "I just need some advice, but I know how busy you are so..." "No, let's do it," Fran answers. And with that they head to the cafeteria. Sitting down in a quiet corner, Fran says to Louise, "You look worried. I have a feeling something is bothering you." "Yeah, you're right," Louise agrees. After asking God's blessing on the food, Louise says, "Fran, you know how Marilyn made such a point in the staff meeting last week about our expense accounts and what's allowed and what isn't, especially as it relates to meals." "Yeah," Fran replies. "She told me that some people have really taken advantage of that policy." "Well," Louise says, lowering her voice, "I'm supposed to approve all expense accounts for those in my group before they go to Marilyn, and she made it clear we're supposed to make certain all the charges are in compliance with company policy. That's what I'm upset about. Jerry is—well—he's lying about his expenses, charging meals to the company that are not business related, and today we had some words about it.” Jerry is the senior account manager in Louise's group. "What kind of words?" Fran asks. "He turned in his expenses with receipts for meals that were not with clients," Louise explains. "So, I gave them back to him with a note about the meals policy, and he calls me in his office, shuts the door and says, 'Since when are you telling me what meals I can charge and what I can't?'" Louise lowers her voice further. "I told him these were the new instructions I had received from Marilyn and that it was my responsibility to make sure all charges were accurate. Then he said, 'Well, I've been working for this company for twelve years, and I won't have someone checking my expense accounts.'” Louise looks at Fran and shakes her head. "What did you say?" Fran asks. "I said something like 'Jerry, I'm just following instructions. Marilyn told us to be responsible for these expenses and make sure they're right. What do you want me to tell her?'" Louise takes a deep breath. "He threw the report at me and said, 'You just note those meals are client meals.'  Then he gave me names of two clients to put on the report, but I knew it wasn't true. So, I said, 'Gee, Jerry, I think you must be mistaken.'  And I reminded him they weren't client meals. He stared at me with a look that could kill, and said, 'You're supposed to do as I direct you to do, so just do it, Louise. Don't make a big deal out of it.'" "Oh, great," Fran says to Louise, "he really put you in a tough spot. What happened then?" "Fran, I'm ashamed to tell you, but I didn't have the guts to stand up to him. He is so intimidating," Louise replies. "So, I just took the report and walked out." Louise is obviously very upset with herself. "Fran, I didn't do the right thing. You know, I just kept thinking about how much I need this job, and I know Jerry. He is politically connected, and I would never win in a fight against him.” Louise puts her fork down and pushes back from the table, very agitated. "Louise,

I was asked a very interesting question by a woman who had come to hear me speak. She said to me, "Are you a liberated woman?” That question caused me to stop and ask: "What is a liberated woman?” Women's liberation became a much-used term during the last two or three decades, and on this day as we celebrate the freedom we have in our country, it's a good idea to ask that question again: What is a liberated woman? For some women, to be liberated means they are free from the control of men, or from the traditional roles that women have been confined to in the past. There are some women who would say a liberated woman is one who is free from the sexual restraints of the past and has sexual freedom. Often liberated women are defined by their status: how far up the ladder they have climbed; how much money they make; how much power they have, assuming the higher you climb, the more you make and the more power you have, the freer you are. What does that term mean to you: a liberated woman? Are you one? Do you know any? How do you recognize one when you see her? Let me begin by saying I consider myself a very liberated woman! Indeed I do! I'm liberated, set free, because I've been set free by Jesus Christ. Feminism does not offer me that freedom, no organization can offer me that. No job can offer me that. No amount of money or power can give me freedom. No other person can liberate me. But Jesus has set me free. I can certainly understand the desire and passion for freedom and liberation that women feel. Everybody wants to be free. And throughout world history we've seen incredible struggles for freedom from slavery, freedom from aggression, freedom from abuse, freedom from discrimination. All of those struggles are understandable and legitimate. I appreciate the freedom women now have to pursue any career for which they are qualified. It wasn't long ago that many of those opportunities were either denied to women or made extremely difficult. But my friends, as one who has pioneered some new paths for women, let me tell you that you won't find true, lasting liberation in a career, no matter how good it may be, nor in new role definitions or worldly success or status or money or power. Freedom is found only in Jesus. That is not a trite cliché'; it is truth. That's the freedom to celebrate—the freedom that comes in knowing your sins are forgiven and eternity with Christ is sure. I'm a liberated woman! I hope you know the same freedom only Christ can give.

Often what we need to do is re-learn something we've already learned! As I start to prepare the programs, I think, "I don't have anything new to say.” And I start to panic because I haven't got a new idea or a new topic to present. But God reminds me repetition is the way we learn. Do you, like me, have to learn and re-learn and re-learn the lessons God wants to teach you? I'm amazed at the patience of our Lord, as I see how slow I am to truly learn and obey all I know. God will work on one area of my life, and I'll think I've made some progress. Then I look back a few weeks or months later and realize I need to learn again what God has already taught me. How easily I forget; how easily I go back into old habits and wrong ways of thinking. What I'm learning from all this is I must be prepared to re-learn many times the things I've already learned. I must go back and repeat because repetition is absolutely essential for me. I think of the verse to the old hymn which says, "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; prone to leave the Lord I love.” Truly "prone to wander" is a good description of me. How about you? Let me encourage you, if you find yourself in this same dilemma, learn to re-learn. Go back and listen again to what God has already taught you. Do a lot of review. If there were books which spoke to your heart, read them again. If you've heard messages that made an impact on you, listen again and again. Repeat and repeat what you already know. That's another good reason to keep a journal of the things God is saying to you and what you've been learning from the Bible, so you can go back and re-read those things which you'll otherwise forget. It's a good way to re-learn. Plan to be a re-learner, so that you're not so prone to wander from the good and basic lessons God has already taught you.

There is a story in Joshua 9, which is very relevant to us today. Joshua and his people were doing very well, and all the neighboring countries were frightened of them because of their victories and the power they had from the Lord. One of their neighbors, the Gibeonites, decided to trick Joshua into a peace treaty. They made themselves look tired and dirty, like they had traveled a long way, and came to Joshua asking for a treaty. Verses 14 and 15 tell us: The Israelites sampled their provisions but did not inquire of the Lord. Then Joshua made a treaty of peace with them to let them live, and the leaders of the assembly ratified it by oath (Joshua 9:14-15). Here was a business transaction facing the Israelites. A group of people made them an offer. The men of Israel looked at the outward evidence, decided it looked like a good deal to them, and signed the bottom line. They found out later they had been deceived. The facts were not as they appeared to be, and they had made a strategic mistake. Why? Because they trusted in their eyes and their minds, and did not inquire of the Lord. There are times we don't think we need to consult the Lord; it's just a cut and dried situation in our view. We make decisions in our own strength, based on our human reasoning. And that gets us in trouble. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). Do you remember when Jesus told Peter to go fishing? Peter's own understanding of fishing told him there were no fish there, since he had fished all night and caught nothing. Besides, it was the wrong time and place to fish. But because Jesus told him to, Peter went fishing and caught more fish than ever before. Peter had to learn, as do we, you can't just depend on your own understanding. Leaning on our own understanding is the norm especially in the business world. But, as Christians, we should take all our decisions to the Lord and ask for his wisdom. Sometimes our own understanding is very shortsighted and incomplete. We need the eternal wisdom of our Savior; we need to inquire of the Lord. Remember to inquire of the Lord in any decision you face. Don't lean solely on your own understanding. That can get you in trouble.

You know, everybody needs encouragement and help at times. As I read 2 Corinthians 7, I realized even the great Apostle Paul had difficult times when he needed other people. He said in verse 5: For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within (2 Corinthians 7:5). Doesn't that describe the way you feel at times? Conflicts without, fears within? But this is the spiritual giant, Paul, and it surprises us to realize he would have these same feelings. We really need to remember that positions of prominence do not isolate anyone from being human. Paul was tired and fearful. He needed help. Where did his help come from? He goes on to say, but God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus (2 Corinthians 7:6). He needed a friend at his side to comfort him, and so Titus came along. We could say to Paul, "But wasn't it enough to have the Lord there?” And Paul would respond, "The Lord was there in the person of Titus. He comforted me by sending Titus." That's how the Body of Christ should function. God wants to use us in each other's lives as messengers of comfort and encouragement, to pick up each other at those weary and frightened moments of our lives. God has given us each other for that purpose. Paul goes on to say he was comforted by the good report Titus brought to him of the concern for his welfare by his friends in Corinth. Paul needed to know they cared, they hadn't forgotten him, they still loved him. How often do we miss these opportunities to be God's comfort in the lives of others? How often do we need to be by a friend's side when they're experiencing dark days? Or send a message to them—by email or snail mail or on the phone—just to say, I care. Hallmark Cards has coined the phrase, "When you care enough to send the very best.” When we as Christians care enough about each other, we can send our very best, which is the comfort of God pouring through us to those who need it. Is there someone in your life today who needs a Titus? Ask God to show you and allow him to use you as his agent of comfort and encouragement.