Hello, Creeps!

This is the end. Join the original Creeps trio for one last journey into the world of weird discussions and inevitable talk about dicks, nu metal, and intercourse with amphibians. If you've listened to this show for any amount of time, that sentence should not come as any sort of surprise to you. Come reminisce with us on the last few fun years of the show that you were apart of just as much as we were. We love each and every one of you, whether you interacted with us through social media, sent us cool stuff, or simply clicked download even once. It's been a pleasure to (hopefully) have made you all laugh and bring even a sliver of a bright spot to your days. We were just three best friends who wanted to sit down in front of a microphone and do what we would have done even if one weren't present. We were lucky enough to walk away with a lot of love and support too. So sit back and laugh with us one last time, except if you're on Stitcher where you'll be sitting down with us sometime in 2023 probably.  Good evening.

We did it! We actually came back in or around one week's time! Come celebrate with us as we dedicate this episode to fan of the show BIG NELSON, and cover a story he suggested from the very legitimate pages of National Geographic. Really making us exit our comfort zone, Nels. Then we have a tale that's one big dick joke from a not-so-legitimate publication. Enjoy!

The real Easter miracle had occurred! Hello, Creeps! rise from their tombs to deliver onto you a message of peace! Move over Jesus, make way for the real messiah! That's right it's...not us, but the clone of King David? Come find out how, plus surfing dogs, sexy aliens, and a heifer hauling ass in traffic. Yep, it's that same Creeps energy in 2021, baby!

This week the Creeps inadvertently bring you a Bigfoot focused episode. Yes, believe it or not, we only make this level of organization and synergy look like it was planned. We actually have no idea what we're doing. Also in this episode: making fun of plenty of white racists and traitors.

Happy new year, everyone! New year, new very serious serious show format for the Creeps! Come listen to us be hard edged journalists as we give you our thoughts on the insurrection and the latest in our Covid-19 status. We switch gears and deliver that works news you crave as Coral talks about a peculiar case of ghosts, animal sacrifices, and a lot of Borat. Like almost too much. Fre brings us the tale of a mutated calf that inspires people to dream about lottery numbers. Yep, very serious journalism. Enjoy!

Just when you thought we were down, the Creeps get back up and deliver one more episode to get you through the remainder of this wasteland of a year. No special stories this week, but come listen to Fre and Coral regale you with their holiday stories and run-ins with the plague. Enjoy and we wish you all a happy and safe new year. Or, you know, we modestly hope we make it til at least February. 

The Creeps are back unusually quick this week compared to their last few episodes. Shocked? So are they. You better just take this very small victory and join them as they discuss the election and our new president elect Juhbiden, a murderer caught wearing her victim's shirt (yeeep), and a man who is allergic to electricity and 5G. So basically, just the typical stories that will force you to lose your faith in humanity. We do pick historical figures to have ghost sex with though, so that's pretty good. Enjoy!

Time is meaningless in 2029, but timing can still be impeccable! The Creeps are back JUST in time for their favorite holiday: Halloween! Was this purposely timed or did their laziness lapse at just the right time? You'll never know. Join Fre and Coral as they have some spooky spooky discussions and share stories about critters that will swarm and eat your flesh as well as have sex with your wife. Wait what? Happy Halloween!

What happens when The Creeps get sucked into The Phantom Zone that is 2020 and the last two months only feel like a couple weeks went by? We get yelled at by listeners to put out a new episode because they think we died. Don't worry! We're only dead on the inside. We also though the last episode we dropped was legit 2 weeks ago. 2020 is real fucking weird, man. Time is meaningless. Thankfully, Coral and Fre are back with tales of supermarket deaths and grave diggin'! Do they somehow connect the stories to Weekend at Bernies? Does someone randomly bring up Captain America's dick? Do we get off track and discuss the importance of Napalm Death in the Indonesian grindcore scene? Of course! It's Hello, Creeps!

It's summer time and taking involuntary hiatuses is easy. Have no fear because the Creeps are here, returned to this quarantine hellscape! Fre takes us to a seemingly nondescript house in Wales where strange noises plague the family? Gangs? Sex sounds? Screaming children? Check on all that! Coral takes us to the mighty state of Idaho for some interesting UFO statistics as well as enlightening us with the bold feats of a dildo thief. Enjoy!

The Creeps come at you hard from quarantine this week. Civilization continues its ever-quickening descent into madness, but the Coral and Fre still have time to read you a story about a famous porn star's side job as a fucking SHAMAN as well as a nice, pleasant, giddy tale about pre-WW2 Hitler and how he was such a swell, nice fellow to a group of girl scouts from England. Isn't that nice? Wow, totally makes up for genocide and world domination, right? RIGHT?

You're in for a treat this week with this wild one of an episode. Be grateful we are fatherless on father's day so we can bring you maximum entertainment without being burdened by patriarchal obligations! Ha! Join us as we cover the newest doomsday signs as well as the new Mayan predicted date that may or may not have past. We also discuss the haunted hotel NBA players were just to spooked to stay in. Did John Starks ask to sleep in Patrick Ewing's room because he was afraid? We're gonna say definitely. Enjoy!

We're going to break away from the usual nonsense we reserve for this space to briefly declare that Hello, Creeps! and our extended family stand fully behind BLM and the movement to annihilate outward and systematic racism in this country. You'll hear a lot about it in the first half of the episode, buy we encourage you to do what you can to contribute to the cause in whatever way you feel fulfills you and raises the community. Here's a quote from Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors" spoken by Dromio of Ephesus that has been stuck in my mind for the past week that is all too applicable: We came into the world like brother and brother, And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.   Don't worry, there are still stories about cannibalism and invisibility, along with plenty of dick jokes inside, just pay attention to what's really happening out there. 

The Creeps return and assess just how haunted Fre's apartment is. Find out how many boxes of straight up spooky shit Coral checks off that would explain Fre's insanity. Speaking of which, he spews some of the insanity that's driven him into deep rabbit holes since the last episode as he tries to uncover more information in Jenova as well as discovering other creepy mini cult leaders. Also Fre is now in a cult...so there's that. 

The Creeps are back and coming to you live from the all-consuming quarantine madness. Come hear us descend just a little bit further into hilarity. Coral has some sad news on the Roswell Galacticon immediately followed by a harsh judgement on UFO elitists. Fre has an update on everyone's favorite Final Fantasy House soulbounder Jennifer Cornet as well as her super villain origin story. Also, Coral becomes Ken Griffey Jr. and this episode is brought to you by Bic Razors but also 100% is not. 

Coral's life partner Fre is busy fighting Covid-69 so his other life partner steps up to fill in as a guest host! Pau, Coral's wife, finally pops in to touch on tales of Creeps past: Find out what her favorite haunted experiences were, her perspective of the night Coral was baptized into santeria and some weird experiences she's had throughout her life. If you ever wondered who could possibly agree to marry someone on this show here's your chance to find out! Thank you to Pau for filling in!

Isolation can't hold the Creeps down, as they break down the walls of quarantine (at a safe distance of course) and bring you isolation fun. Coral discusses his intense experience with the prospect of death, Fre discusses a pizza he should not have consumed all of, and the Creeps dive into the idea of astral projection. Where will they end up and while will it be Davel's room to terrify him? Only one way to find out! Stay safe!

No pandemic can stop the Creeps! We've adapted and overcome to bring you the news your crave. Or don't want at all. I don't know. In any case, this week Fre informs you of the real plague we should be watching while Coral drops a cryptid in Africa you probably never heard of. There's a story about a burger and a magical plantain land that aliens landed in too. Yep. 

The Creeps are coming at you from the newly quarantined Boo Box to bring you the regularly scheduled funnies because this is the one show you can NEVER cancel, baby. Unless one of us gets the 'rona then we definitely cancelled. Nonetheless, the show goes on and Fre explores the possibility of this pandemic being predicted years ago. Could we have prevented this if we listened to some loony old battle axe? Coral pays his respects to Mad Mike Hughes and his final moments of trying to prove the Earth is flat. Fre is...less respectful. Enjoy and stay safe out there!

This week, the Creeps take you back to their uncomfortable past and Coral takes you through his uncomfortable present. Fre discusses his odd day and an old backyard wrestling injury that leads him to perusing an old LiveJournal account and sharing some of his shame. Coral shares a detailed account of his visit to Zak Bagan's Haunted Museum in Vegas. How much spooky spooky did Coral bring home with him? Will he be in the next Conjuring movie? Is Coral now Patrick Wilson? IS HE FUCKING NITE OWL? Only one way to find out. 

This week, the Creeps dive back into the land down undah and explore the case of a man who died violently after eating a gecko. Yeah, you read that right. My mans ate Gex and got REKT. Coral takes us to Israel where a man casually finds an ancient Egyptian artifact during his morning swim, but more importantly, informs us if a class that takes us from hieroglyphs to...emojis? Lot of stuff happening this episode. 

The Creeps go international this week, bringing your some culturally diverse, anthropologically approached stories made to make you think. Nah, we actually just happened to find some weird fucking stories from the UK. Like, who the fuck builds a house with no door? Someone in England apparently and Coral will tell you just how you can acquire this weird piece of architecture and all the rituals that come with it. Also in this episode is a dive into brief life after death with a man who was dead for 11 minutes, and the first sightings of Nessy in 2020, who I assume is making her bid for Democratic nomination for the presidency if the USA. NESSY, YOU AIN'T EVEN AMERICAN BUT YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT ANYWAY. NESSY 2020.

We open this week with some more slam poetry from birthday boi Fre before going into the recent Kobe Bryant family tragedy and how nothing is ever safe from conspiracy theories. Coral dives into another theory involving Epstein killing himself? Nah. Epstein murdered by the Clinton's? Nope. Epstein faking his death and living well somewhere in Asia? FUCK YEAH, PAL. We close this week's heater learning about Witch Bottles and how they warded away spells. It gets real weird.

This week The Creeps take a minute to figure out how Jacob Dylan of The Wallflowers is doing in 2020 before deep diving into Fredo's recent trip to an aquarium. He expected to see some cool fish but all he got was a nice serving of RACISM. Coral follows that up with his own odd experience the same day hopping into an Uber driven by the most woke man in history. Is he surprised to be alive? No doubt. The gents close the show discussing some strange loud sounds terrifying a small town in South Carolina. Do some townsfolk think it was Iran? Of course. It's just business as usual this week on Hello, Creeps!

THE CREEPS ARE OUT ON LOVE! We're on a roll like James Brown high as fuck during an interview. Join us this week as we explore possible national anthems for our inevitable colonization of Mars (hint: James Brown probably ahead in points on this one), Coral's real 1 of a neighbor, the death of ghost hunting legend, and the possibilities of an afterlife. But mostly, a whole lot of highAF James Brown. HAAAAAAAAAAA.

Happy New Year! The Creeps have returned from a brief holiday hiatus and quickly demonstrate that while it's a new year, it's the same Creeps. Coral takes us deep into the mind of famous MMA star GSP and his paranoia of aliens stealing his...time? Fredodamus interprets some 2020 predictions and the podcast takes a wild turn discussing two celebrities' wild, secretly gay sex lives. 2020 baby!

This week on the holiday of days, the two hallowed Creeps explore sacred texts and decipher the true nature of the trinity. Nah, but we do talk about a game where you can play as Jesus and heal the FUCK out of things and fist fight Satan in the desert. Additionally, Coral covers a Chilean plane that has disappeared over the Antarctic and examines new discoveries regarding certain images in Egyptian hieroglyphics. Enjoy!

The Creeps are back after a short holiday hiatus to discuss...their holidays? Yeah, sure. Pour yourself a glass of eggnog, get cozy by the fire, and crank up your Stitcher app, because the Creeps waste no time jumping into stories about space lattes (cafe con leches, for the initiated), a couple of slave owners buried under an airport runway, and an expose on real vampires that immediately turns into a lacing of Anne Rice fans and an excuse go play the Brood's WWE theme song. Enjoy? Yeah, enjoy. 

**The audio this week maybe a bit loud and wonky at times. We apologize for the inconvenience as it's not up to our usual audio standards. Ok, Boomer.** The Creeps get sexy with it this week, as they take a stroll down memory lane, recalling NSFW moments from their childhood. How much organic rope did one of them leave in their highschool stairwell? Only one way to find out. Also this week: the disappearance of the physical "wizard rock" but the emergence if a the newest fantasy metal genre as well as an update on our favorite high tech dildos. Well, your favorite. I'm not a freak. Enjoy!

Happy Halloween! The Creeps return with another spooky spooky special sure to thrill, trill, and...fill? I don't know. Fill you with fright and maybe spite. Perhaps some might? This rhyming is going nowhere, but do not fret. The Creeps are taking you to visit the ghost of old honest Abe this week for some Halloween fun, as well controlling the biggest Ouija board ever built, and finding Excalibur...in Bosnia? How...delightfully spooky. 

After a brief hiatus, the Creeps come back red hot and full of fresh new dick jokes. The content you crave. I assume you only came for that, but if not, stay as the Creeps cover the truck found in England with 39 dead bodies, a very real and legitimate subway wizard who will grant you a wish, and a the potential invention of an invisibility cloak and the countless perverted possibilities for teenage Fre and Coral. Enjoy!

After a brief hiatus, the Creeps are back and waste no time diving back into highly offensive impersonations. But first, Coral takes us back to Area 51 to cover the god damn hero who Naruto ran behind the news crew, Bud Lite's limited edition alien cans, and the story of two presumably secret lovers who used a UFO sighting as a cover up for their rugged love affair. Fre takes us to the sea, where dolphins get FUCKED UP, as well as Japan for some culture. Yeah, culture. 

The Creeps are back this week, really flaunting their 12 combined credits in film and how much more informed they are in the art of cinema than everyone especially Davel. Oh, and lest we forget the hacked sex toys being used to spy on their users and an in depth discussion on fucking SPACE LAW. Typical episode. 

It's a special birthday extravaganza! The Trash Lord himself rejoins the cast for a little anniversary fun as the crew is back on their bullshit once more. Fre covers a story of plagued prairie dogs doing the world a favor and fucking with a Phish concert. Davel updates us on an old tail and accuses a celebrity's father of assassinating JFK. Coral explores a haunted museum and a Twister the movie alien thing. Yeah, that. 

Do you like video games? How about MMOs? Do you think people that don't erotic roleplay are arrogant jerks? Well, the woman that wrote Fre's article certainly thinks YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT. Hi, it's the Creeps. This week we dive back into the online culture of getting your rocks off in video games and we follow Coral's righteous journey through Portland on his neverending search for Bigfoot. It's hot out there, so cool off your calocha with another ice cold episode of hard hitting journalism and 90's references you will neither want or like!

The Creeps are back this week discussing the most legendary sixth man of all time ad nauseum. The man, the myth, the bull, the mermaid: Toni Kukoc. Why? Because real recognize real that's why. Coral and Fre seamlessly integrate the Croation Sensation into a tale of potentially real mermaids, donated bodies being used for far more gruesome purposes, and a small boy who thinks he's Princess Diana. My man should have thought he was Toni Kukoc instead because he's still alive, well, and sporting DEM RINGS MY DUDES. 

The Creeps storm Area 51 this week, but with their sexy words instead of their feeble bodies. Join us as we join in on the fun that will, no doubt, turn into the demise of thousands. Don't matter as long as cheeks get clapped on Mars, baby!  In more serious news, Coral covers the story of a man released from prison because he was deemed too old to kill again...and kills again. Fre takes us on a journey covering the epic feud between two hentai juggernauts. Yep, you read that right. Enjoy, senpais!

Florida man is at it again! Ever mistaken a full grown adult man for a lizard? Leave it to Florida to provide us with someone who has. A man trained to hunt lizards...of course. Coral then presents the story of a racist piece of garbage who murdered someone over rap music as well as the sad tale of a lit paranormal bookstore on the outs due to people just being too spiritually asleep to understand just how sikkkkk a shop they got. Enjoy!

Hot off the heels of episode 100, Fre and Coral take no sabbath as they continue to deliver that hard hitting journalism that you never knew you needed or probably want at all. Join them this week for some awkward mom tales, real life Dungeons and Dragons nightmare stories, another sad tale of a misunderstood witch, and a court room suicide unfortunately gone wrong...or right?  Be sure to pick up our new t-shirts here!

Three years into this fever dream and we’ve made it to episode 100! Our good brother Trash Goblin Davel returns to help us celebrate this monumental episode the same way we started all this: getting drunk on wine and talking nonsense. Join us for one of our favorite Q&A’s to date involving alien sex, cryptids, John Lithgow and so much more! Davel also takes us into some weird stories involving secret oceanic bases and interdimensional travel in NJ. Thank you all so much for joining us on this journey. Having you laugh with us every week for the last three years means more to us than you could ever know. Here’s to 100 more! Maybe?

What's bigger than episode 100? Episode NINETEEN~ NINETY NINE of course! In honor of this episode, Fre reads off odd news clipping from this week in 1999. Coral revisits Bigfoot, presenting FACTUAL* evidence that the FBI tried to recruit this creature of legend into their ranks AND proof that we've figured out who Bigfoot really is. Is it possibly a hit R&B singer from the 90s? Only one way to find out.    *= Facts are, of course, open to interpretation.

Ever entered an abandoned MMO? If you're a normal, functioning human being, probably not. The Creeps, however, cover a person who did but ended up not being as alone as he thought! In honor of Pride month, Coral covers two stories regarding homophobia so utterly ridiculous, you'd think we're making it up. We're not. Journalists never make anything up. Enjoy!

The Creeps are back this week, breaking more news on former friend of the show, now bitter enemy and disgusting criminal....you guessed it: R. Kelly. After the Coral and Free take a figurative and possibly literal piss on him, the two discuss this year's new batch of crop as well as their personal interpretation of these mysterious phenomenon. I can't promise there are no dick jokes during that discussion. Finally, Free delves into the remains of mysterious birdmen from thousands of years ago, but really just reference famed rapped Birdman waaaaay too much. Enjoy?

The Creeps are back on the home stretch to episode 100 as they field some questions from some of the show's faithful. Who would the Creeps sacrifice to acquire the Soul Stone? What foul go-go bar would they haunt? What would they give up for a glimpse of Big Foot's dick? All that is answered plus Coral delves into the mystery of some decapitated goats that is being pinned on the innocent Pagans. Enjoy some top notch journalism lol jk. 

This week take a journey with us to Rome to suck down some handmade pasta and train to be exorcists. Do we spend a lot of time discussing Jesus getting it in once he found out he was gonna die? Most definitely. After that we journey to the basement where we take a look at another gaming fetish Fredo swears he doesn't partake in but we know is only half true. Come and listen to a brand new episode that almost guarantees you'll see both of us in hell. I mean, if you laugh you're probably just as horrible as us. See you in eternal damnation!

This is a wild one. After breaking down the generational gap in what is considered alternative music, Coral educates us on the aliens living among us, breeding extraterrestrial and human hybrids to assist in surviving the coming harsh climate changes but also to get that human booty. Fre then takes us on a sexual journey through the world of Dom/Sub play...as applied to role playing game tank/healer roles? Yep, listen to this incredibly professional breakdown on TANK SLUTS and HEAL SLUTS and get ready to never play WOW or Final Fantasy  XIV the same way again.  One step closer to becoming SEX SOUNDS, baby!

This week Fre hosts the Academy Awards and Coral cries over a fictional orangutan. Before any of that makes sense we take a look at the 2020 Democratic candidates' stances on UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster spotted outside of a local pub and an in depth discussion of some of the weirdest things we've seen when we were hammered. Do we reference another random 90's band more than once throughout the episode? Without question.

Coral takes the Creeps on a tour of Savannah, Georgia this week as be recounts some of his experiences from the most haunted city in the United States. Spoilers, however, as he fails to mention how all the dood cooked in pig fat has haunted him since his return. Some lazy journalism, we know, but we make up for it covering the Notre Dame fire and the apparently appearance of Jesus' likeness in the flames followed by 20 minutes of blasting the Catholic Church for centuries of cruelty and evil.  The episode needed some levity at this point so we talked about a caveman who ate and pooped out an entire rattlesnake. AKA, the first Real 1 who ever walked the earth.

The boys are back after a long Wrestlemania week to mix heroin, mashed potatoes and hidden pyramids in a delicious cocktail nobody wants or even asked for. Coral takes us up north where a journalist claims to have proof of ancient pyramids located under the mountains of Alaska and presents some of the most convincing evidence to date. We hit Mississippi after for a mysterious tater snack delivered to residents while they slumber. We close the episode out with Fre dropping some heat on the death of Kurt Cobain that connects him to a wild CIA conspiracy but definitely not to “Malibu” by Hole. I’m not saying we solved Kurt’s death but there’s a 95% chance we discuss “Celebrity Skin” by Hole more than once.

You may think that this is just a very immature title put up by a couple of guys who make way too many dick jokes, but I assure you there is an actual story to accompany this! Find out if an Indonesian woman succumbed to her well-endowed husband or if it was possibly something far less ridiculous that has plagued her for her whole life. Also, yes, we just liked having dick in the title. Coral also brings us some news about Tom DeLonge's new alien show, a possibly haunted super market, and other non-penis stories for the more sophisticated audience.

Come experience a real diversity of topics this week, as the Creeps explore the wonderful revelation of ancestry through DNA testing, the concept of immortality, African mysticism, and discuss the possibilities and social ramifications of time travel.  Nah, jk. We talk about Coral' and Fre's 23 and Me results and probably make a ton of inappropriate comments, a bunch of witches being burned in Africa; we discuss immortality, but not without making at least one Lazarus Pit comment, and the possibility that the 56th President of the United States was born at the end of 2018 and revealed by a time traveler from the future. I could have left it at the first paragraph, but then we definitely wouldn't have been real 1s. We would have been fake 1s and that that shit is not okay.