Memoirtistry™

I eaaaaaaase into conversation with no one; a familiar practice I haven't engaged in for some months now. I wander from one thought to the next: Style Guide & Vocal Expression Data Cleanup & Research Memoirtistry & Mental Health: You can hear more from Quincy and I over on COMPLEX, The Podcast. Word of 2025: OPEN & Green Goddess Tara Performing a Persona with the Mirror Mask & Jumpsuit Published Art Commentaries Unlearning Patterns of Behavior OCDdddddddddddddddddddd The Habit of Purging Things Pittsburgh is a Way Station

In this episode, Quincy and I hit record mid-conversation and follow our thoughts: We begin by reflecting on the previous episode with Clairvoyant Elizabeth Mihelich, which leads us to addressing the symptoms I experience from [C]PTSD and the emotional neglect I suffered in my childhood . Quincy drills down to the deep questions: "In a situation where you never received confirmation that your parents loved you more than religion, (you knew for certain they would never change or that they weren't here anymore) what would be your measure of love?" I see where I have been okay being neglected in love with friends and former partners. When I am not listened to, I do not feel loved. So how can I undo this pain? I choose to engage in loving relationships with those who value active listening. Memoirtistry is a practice, years in the making; what I share is my present action to heal the past and envision a future. How do you share a full picture of who you are? "Not wanting to rock the boat" poisons relationships. What I gained from this conversation is a new level of safety with Quincy. I haven't felt free with my words in this way with another person since I was married, and having divorced the person I felt this with, it's been difficult to achieve trust in all relationships following. I'm grateful to Quincy for sticking with me all these years; together, we have outlived my marriage. Purchase I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait on Amazon. I'm learning how to point to the symptoms of [C]PTSD through my art, as therapy. Everything I do is an attempt to show the work. And then we get into business. Quincy and I are brainstorming a new podcast! Book Reference: The Finding of The Third Eye by Vera Stanley Alder (now I'm committed to making it to age 49) Building a timeline of your life in five-year increments, noting your personal memories and the stories your family have shared to paint a picture of who you are, is a helpful activity. Eventually we land on discussing a desire (perhaps for a future episode) that Quincy has to rewrite the experience women in his life have had with men.

I have been interacting with Elizabeth Mihelich for almost 10 years now, and I value her work as a Clairvoyant. She has shown me many things “without knowing” and she is faithful to her craft. In this episode, she talks about her training in clairvoyance and what she sees when she provides Aura Readings. Then, we have a personal session together in an effort to reveal the process. I set my intentions around Memoirtistry and, saying my name at birth three times, we begin… You can scheduled your own Aura Reading with Elizabeth via her website Lit Up You.

In this episode, Quincy and I discuss the concept of anxiety. He explains anxiety as a message from the self, often misconstrued as a threat. He emphasizes the importance of understanding internal triggers and managing anxiety through awareness and physiological techniques like widening one's visual field. I, of course, share my personal experiences with anxiety, highlighting its exacerbation during COVID-19 and the ongoing impact of social media. We discuss practical tools like the Five-Point Check-In. Quincy and I agree on the need to address internal emotions, to move toward acceptance, to reduce anxiety effectively. Links to things we mentioned: The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker Affirmations with Louise Hay The Wild Unknown Archetypes Deck, Kim Krans Lit Up You! Aura Readings with Elizabeth Huberman Lab

In this episode, Quincy offers a window into why he loves doing the work he is doing. I ask, and we get into it: Where are you from? (Spoiler Alert: AK, like me!) How did you get into coaching? What fulfills you in the coaching role? Why coach and not therapist? Quincy is accepting clients, and is a fantastic resource for individuals and couples exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy.

Quincy and I continue the conversation about how one can shift from monogamous patterns of belief to the openness of polyamory using my own experience as a guide. We explore the concept of solo polyamory and the misconceptions surrounding it, and we consider how to address satisfying sexual needs to reduce the charge in relationships. We highlight communication challenges and the importance of self-awareness, mutual respect and understanding. I share personal fears about enforcing boundaries and the societal stigma around polyamory. Quincy emphasizes that boundaries are the responsibility of the person setting them and stresses the need for clear, non-violent communication. The discussion also touches on trauma bonds and the impact of past relationships on current dynamics. Resources: ⁠Quincy Schmidt Coaching⁠ ⁠The Center for Nonviolent Communication⁠

Mental Health & Relationship Coach Quincy Schmidt and I discuss the transition from monogamy to polyamory, exploring the concept of polyamory and its implications. We share insight into our [separate] journeys away from serial monogamy to polyamory, having both been influenced by non-monogamous friends. Our conversation delves into the challenges of defining and practicing polyamory, including the importance of clear communication, understanding personal values, and setting boundaries. We highlight the need for self-awareness and the rejection of societal norms that limit relationship choices while emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and the potential for fulfillment in multiple relationships. AI was used to create this summary because I didn't want to risk listening to this episode and shying away from posting it. It's challenging to change with an audience, and I aim to change no matter what. xoxo, Elizabeth Dawn

I don't know if I shared this in previous episodes, but I have been working with Poetry Lounge Press to publish my first poetry chapbook. In this episode, I have the proof in hand and am driving myself to the woods to read it aloud for a first look. It's real! It's happeningggggggggg! The edits are now in full swing. The expected release date of I Left a Stranger: A Coming Out & Into Estrangement is September 30, 2024. More to follow!

I let AI write the summary: "The conversation revolves around the challenges of navigating life's complexities through binary thinking, the importance of finding joy in the gray area, and the need to recognize and challenge limiting beliefs to move forward." My brain takes Quincy's concept of Black & White thinking, and the fear of the Gray Area, and connects it to my experience in estrangement. We also find ourselves discussing our beliefs around money and "free". Per usual, it's an exploratory journey and we take turns guiding the flow.

Quincy discusses his meditation practice using The Way app. Recently, my energy appeared in one of his meditations and he poses some questions to me about performing Memoirtistry on a stage. Questions: Who is the person who performs your art? How do you get into the space to express? How did it feel to perform a flashback from the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms you experience? What do you mean by "flashback"? What are your thoughts about being in the moment without preoccupying yourself with the audience's perception of you? These questions took me on a journey of my healing, and I'm grateful. Quincy has a way of easing me through difficult thoughts. I hope you enjoy the journey he and I go on during this conversation, and find something for yourself to investigate. xoxo, Elizabeth Dawn Resources: The Art & Science of Performance Training with Frankie Mulinix of The Vibrance Centre in Atlanta, GA Quincy Schmidt is a Certified Coach, offering personalized, mental health and relationship coaching sessions. Schedule a Free Session Our inside joke of me not wearing any pants is the title of my second memoir which I am currently writing and editing.

I sit in the backyard with the birds, reflecting on my 43rd birthday. I read from Ember & Flame by Rasaja Wolfe, my soul sister, and consider my next July ritual to celebrate my 6th year divorced.

annnnnd we just get right into it. Quincy Schmidt is a Mental Health & Relationship Coach and friend. We have been engaging these kinds of discussions for years and only recently decided to record them with the intent to share; we like learning most through conversations with people. Quincy delivers the concepts and I spin story. The religious trauma I have experienced surfaces and we engage in a memory of high school together. We follow a thread of thought: The Space of Co-Creation > The Discomfort of Being Uncertain > Nervous Energy & The Holy Spirit. A favorite quote from Quincy: "The more I can accept [them] the way they are demonstrating [themselves], the closer we can get to communicating." A question to reflect on: Do you check the words you use against the values you hold? A reminder to myself: Sacrifices are required to heal, and I can do hard things.

Quincy Schmidt and I have known each other for 28 years; we began orbiting one another in high school. He has a lovely voice, is over 6-feet tall, and is [partially] responsible for the title of my second memoir, I'm Not Wearing Any Pants. Time and distance has only deepened our desire to relate our lives. Quincy is a Mental Health [Relationship] Coach out of Austin, TX. He's not a therapist, as you'll hear him say, but he engages in active listening--he is curious, empathetic, and open--and he asks consent before he responds with the offer of another perspective. He is passionate about communication and enjoys relating. I am honored he said yes to being my first guest! We follow many trains of thought in this first conversation, as outlined below. Trigger Warning We discuss [my] healing from rape and the frequent verbal, and vulgar, body objectification I experience when I leave the house. Addressing Relational Trauma through Self-Reflection Communication Strategies & Conflict Trust & Being Yourself Do people really need other people? The Work of Byron Katie Self-Reflection & Hearing Your Own Voice Distractions/Coping Mechanisms of coffee, alcohol, weed, technology Mindfulness Practices [my] Cult Upbringing (which Quincy witnessed firsthand) & Coming Out Performance Artist in Residence Program Memoirtistry is on Twitch!

I haven't been painting as much so I thought I'd work on a piece and verbally ventilate story, as I do. I changed the name of the piece from love, a question to love, defined after I recorded this. You can see it on Instagram. I am painting while engaging the symbol of The Phoenix; this is a work of transformation. The passages I share come from ⁠Love⁠ by Leo Buscaglia--the book I cut up. And you can listen to my Love, 2021 Playlist if you want. This piece also reflects "as above, so below" which I speak of in my work differently, "as with, so with>out

It's raining, and I like the sound it makes on the roof of my car. In this one you get extended commentary on my relationship with my hair. I have found estrangement exacerbates my trauma in a way I can see it to heal it. So I'm looking closely. I am the Transition Queen... because "I really like myself a lot." You also get more of the story about Plan B. And I mention this Art Critique of Pleiades, 1983 // James Turrell that I finished writing and realized is part of the first chapter of my book. Enjoy! There is some talk of magic, but my notes aren't clear to me and I'm ready to put my laptop away so that's all you get. Thanks for listening!

Yes, I drive a manual transmission. I'm teaching a writing workshop in May and find myself processing the outline while also reflecting on the book I am writing. I also introduce my new business cards: mini introductions [of myself] with 100 unique writing prompts that I share during Open Mic performances. How do you talk about yourself? If you are an artist or writer and could use support, contact me at memoirtistry.com/contact

I suffer the consequence of spontaneity. I push myself to discomfort; walking is my wrestling. I use my body to warm my body. I remind myself it is okay to turn around, to opt out. I engage the absolute of "never coming back". Coming back implies failure, doesn't it? What if I woke up in a day from last year and had to start over from there? What if I am only dreaming all that has followed? How deliberate are you in communication? I find myself taking the defense when I don't understand. It is scary not to understand. And I don't want to be too scared to be impacted, and changed.

The anxiety of surprise to see someone else's interpretation of my work was a delight inside my body. This experience literally stunned me. I felt connected to Tom because his method of approaching the blankness [of a canvas] is very similar to how I approach the blankness. I was able to give him more insight into who I am based on his illustration that he made based off something I wrote. Magical, and eerie. There are some very obvious things about me inside this illustration, and Tom and I only met one time before this. We don't know each other. We spoke the artist language between us; a language we are familiar with because of our work with the blankness. We related. The benefit of this experience was genuine connection with another human. Our art allowed us to connect on a deeper level, because art does that. And it was lovely. Links! Follow T.H. Kainaros on Instagram T.H. Kainaros Instagram Reel Memoirtistry Instagram Reel Memoirtistry Blog Post Collaborate with Memoirtistry

If I am "living the dream", am I dissociated? My thoughts wander to the dream state I feel myself living inside of... the dream that is currently unfolding my reality. What if I could wake from this dream to a moment in my past with all of the information I've collected? I imagine May 25, 2023; the day I awoke, alone in a tent, in Roswell, New Mexico. Engaging life as a Choose Your Own Adventure novel, would I opt for an alternative path to the one that got me here? And if I went a different route, would I end up where I am at all?

I finish climbing the hill at 3:46. I dare you to stay with me through the breathing. A string of thought inside my reflection of S3-E5: I can hear my contradicting statements in the midst of my flow. Maybe it's not so much about manifesting what you want, but anticipating what you want--and when you're anticipating, your intuition kicks in and you can intuit what is to come. I'm not homeless. The pizza was good. I wound up walking to a cemetery and singing a few songs to the bodies buried and the bodies hidden in the houses around the headstones and the bodies in the cars driving by. And no body seemed to notice my body at all.

Recording audio hasn't been the medium I've reached for lately. I'm sure it's obvious by now there is no schedule for when another episode will release. It doesn't really work that way for me, when I'm in the creative flow. In this stream, I share a what I am currently reflecting on in my healing process; I talk poetry and editing, and did you know I am writing my second memoir? It's true. My theme for 2024 is Release & Root. I suffer chronic mistrust. I'm unsure of myself. I trust myself. These are all true, too. Enjoy bobbing along with me. Thanks for listening.

A mantra arises with deep breaths: I am listened to. I am listened to. I am listened to.

On the road, thought explosions, oh, the stings of awareness; of process recognition! These are my REASONS: shaking off the old stories. howdoirewriteasigo thisishowiwilllivewithcptsd presenceismyreligion I'm learning how to capture my second memoir in real time; because I am living it. December 19, 2022 is when I truly began living [like] I'm not wearing any pants; it is when I became aware of my own nakedness. APA-CALYP-TIC FEEL :: UPDATE (24 hours after recording this episode) and now this last chapter ended without my consent. Is control real? I thought the future began on July 23 and instead it began yesterday, July 17, at 7:05p EDT. I do not even have a week to steep; one week as a single day, oh, how quickly life can change. How do I play this game?

In classic Memoirtistry fashion, I wax poetic my thoughts in stream-of-conscious format. I wander from aging to idealism, past versions of myself, C-PTSD, the opportunity of "stranger", solitude & the artist's journey, long-distance partnership and what happens when we love our fear with PRESENCE being a key. (Present is my word of the year for 2023.) I'm also interrupted by a stranger who asks if he can take photos of my tattoos and I oblige. Listening back to this episode, I recognize the stories of my religious trauma I am currently unraveling. For example, I mention the delight I experience in my body when I am in a state of longing [for some thing or someone], and I connect this to being raised with so many limitations around self-expression. The meaning I place on this reflection is that I am learning to release myself of the internal bonds to trauma--to C-PTSD--by identifying the strength I acquired during a survival state. I know how to wait. I know how to be patient. I dreamed of being as tattooed as I am now when I was 15; my dreams of self-expression have come to fruition. I can survive the absence of choice. It is obvious to me now the manuscript of my second memoir is beckoning me. If it doesn't make sense now, perhaps it will make sense later. Document, document, document.

I am an investigator of my past selves; they haunt me, they are alive. I'm baaaaaa-aaaaaack! A few things to note: I previously unpublished every episode of this podcast for personal reasons that have now expired. As of today, the past audio is available but the episodes did not maintain their original publish date. It looks like I made this entire podcast today! Look how fast I work! I don't have the desire to figure out how to change that, so I'm not going to waste energy on it. I began this podcast in December of 2020 and, from what I recall, I stopped publishing new episodes in 2022. That's all you need to know I guess. Though maybe none of it is required to know. Maybe it's just for my own peace of mind I even mention it. Peace of Mind = Administrative Brain with a touch of OCD. Per usual, I wax poetic following my stream-of-conscious. I listen to every episode before I publish, not to edit myself, but to take notes so I can write something here for you. As I take notes, I reflect on what I said and find new information; I teach myself, and I am my best student. Reflections: The title of this episode … I wonder, is my expression of [being a] Memoir Artist a symptom of C-PTSD? Artistry as a symptom. Hrm. I explore artistry as healing so maybe Memoirtistry isn't a symptom of the traps of C-PTSD, it is the medicine. I like that. I'll land there and see what this drug continues to do. I received a phone call while I was recording and I vocalize that it interrupted my flow, even though I continued to flow with the next recording. The truth is not that the phone call disrupted, it is that the phone call rang my fears alive inside of me. With the second recording I felt the shame trying to overtake; the interruption a trigger that what I'm saying should not be said. Read: who I am I should not be. I continued anyway. I can do hard things. My thoughts express as poetry when I'm actively editing myself—and I do that (actively edit) when I speak in an effort to be clear and unavoidable in my communication. Ah, but my love of metaphor and prose can whisk me away. I avoid certain words because I fear their meaning to be misinterpreted and used against me. I'm always expecting my words to be used against me. (A symptom of C-PTSD.) When I say blood, I mean family. I'm still working through the “real, but not true” concept. I expect it will be a theme I work with until I flush it out. Welcome to Season 3!

I have a tattoo on my right forearm that says, "Be brave with your words." I remember when I got the tattoo how scary it was; the permanence of it, the commitment to living this truth. Every expression of myself lends itself to using my voice. I use my voice on this podcast. I use my voice in my writing. I use my voice in my art. I use my voice when I edit. I use my voice when I sing. I am meant to use my voice. And so, I persist.

I don't want to be trapped by my body. I am not my body—I am not my heart, I am not my brain; I am not my feelings, I am not my thoughts. I Am. Today I declare myself healed.

In this episode, my train of thought goes something like this: When I'm invisible, I'm more myself. My current day job is driving for DoorDash. I share some data I've collected, the experiments I do, and a few stories from my last dash. It's a great job to have when suffering writer's/artist's block because I can work almost anytime. What is this new trend of public boom-boxing? As a business, I'm always adjusting my language and my approach, so back-end work on my website is usually on the list of "things to do". I finally got my shop displayed how I prefer though, yay! Check it out: memoirtistry.com/shop Patreon is forthcoming! I'm learning how to believe in myself and ask for support. My relationship with money, oof. I'm on year four in this cycle of financial disability/instability. I feel ashamed that I'm not “doing the right things to make money the way I used to”. I've left one class of society for another, and it is an entirely new world to adjust to. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

My name is Elizabeth, and she is trapped at 8-, 12-, and 20-years old. When I married and took my ex's surname, I laid Elizabeth to rest and embodied Liz. But I'm still Elizabeth and she's angry for being locked up, so I'm growing her up to 40. Maybe now I'll get some grey hairs. I'm writing my second memoir. It shines a [sometimes-harsh] light on my journey to heal my injured brain and understand the Complex PTSD diagnosis I've been given. You can buy my first memoir, I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait, here. Memoirtistry is what I build my world around; it's my spirit-led, one-word purpose; it's my expression in response to, and of, life. It's a new year, so I'm rethinking the business end of my approach to living Memoirtistry. I've decided [again] to only sell originals. I'm a human, not a brand. My work is alive and so, it is also in the process of dying. All of my work is unfinished and it is for sale in every iteration, which means some of my pieces will not be varnished, some will not have picture hangers, some will fade and fall apart in time. I believe there is something inside of every stage of creation to learn from, and some stages require we muster intense patience--we must sit in the suffering of learning. I do not create easy-to-digest pieces; I am in love with the hard work of living. I will not inhibit my creative flow by following structure and algorithms and social media calendars. I will not create with the intention to mass produce for the sake of money. I believe the money I require to have my basic needs met will come and I need not force it to show up in ways that will harm my desire or my stamina for artistic living. Other things: I'm learning to recognize myself as a mystic. I've always been one. Ah mystery, my seductress. Kim Krans' The Wild Unknown Archetypes tarot is easily becoming my new favorite deck. I'm considering a road trip to Texas to explore my childhood--to research more of myself for memoir #2. I lost my day job. That's a lie, I was fired. I've never been fired before! I literally asked for it. Need an editor for a story, an essay, an email? (Basically anything with words attached.) You can hire me. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

It's been a minute. I take myself on a crisp morning walk to process life, and then Wordw_tch reveals herself. (Don't mind the subtle scratchy sound. The mic was rubbing against my teddy-gear-inspired coat.) What's inside: Energy Management vs. Time Management Information shared WITH me vs. Information shared AT me Changing careers is stressful and I'm trying not to exist in the worry of financial strain. I'm finally hitting my stride as a barista! It feels good to move from learning something to knowing something. Sometimes I think animals see me more clearly than people do. I'm coming to terms with aging. The unknown--when will it not be scary? My first art show made me anxious. I'm preparing to learn of my ex-husband's engagement to his girlfriend. My best friend is moving soon, and I'm sad. I'm finding closure and an ocean of forgiveness in an email exchange with an ex-partner. Grief never goes away, it just changes shape. My alarm cut the recording right before the ad. Time can be intuitive. Wordw_tch presents organically and waxes her history of spiritual belief. If you want to meet with me, schedule time here! A lovely song that was shared with me. A book I'm listening to for free. Sharing my beliefs is scary, but the more I talk the more I understand the language of my beliefs. When I was younger, I wanted answers. But no answers would suffice. I'm grateful I seek my own answers and don't parrot--being raised in a cult taught me how to do that. Cults are everywhere. Company branding is a method of creating a language for "believers", is it not? My second book is writing itself. I'm meditating on my word for 2022. Weird used to be a trigger word for me, but now it's my favorite descriptor. My final sentence: I'm grateful life presents me with opportunities to learn the many perspectives of human experience so that I may remain humble by the vulnerability of expression and continue to choose love and safety as an offering. You're welcome. xoxo, Liz --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

My marriage conditioned me to believe I couldn't live the life I want—that I was to live the life someone else wanted. I was "in service" to my ex-husband's calling. It's difficult for me to verbalize my wants, but I thought I would try. Here goes! I want a full time job to provide financial stability while I attend art school. There; I said it and I typed it. It is so. Updates: If you're interested in meeting Wordw_tch for an Intuitive Mentoring session, you can schedule time here. Follow @wordw_tch on Instagram. Peruse the art I have for sale, or buy a signed copy of my book! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

I'm not sure I ever actually introduced myself in Season 1, I just started rambling my thoughts—the deep ones, the dark ones, and the light-filled ones that showed up like fireflies. Welcome to Season 2! It's gonna be a good one because I BELIEVE IN MYSELF! Updates: I'm blogging again. To learn more about what I do, head on over to Memoirtistry.com/News My artwork can be purchased in-store at Olyphant Art & Supply and will soon be available at BOOM Gallery in Olympia. Read my first book if you like to read about divorce! I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait Book two is coming together... it's titled I'm Not Wearing Any Pants: A Diagnosis Need an editor? I'm accepting clients! Meet Wordw_tch - she's also accepting clients! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Join me for a walk while I free associate my looming 40th birthday. A summary of my scattered thoughts: Happy Birthday to me, it's fall in July. I quit another job. Get your eyes checked, Liz. 40: The Middle of Life & Death Thoughts I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be but I'm exactly where I want to be. I feel different inside of myself. You don't know until you know, you know? I have cavities, and inside my cavity is energy. My job exacerbated my sexual trauma. My creative flow is a leaky faucet. My study of love is leading me to more love. I can't help but find what I need right now. It feels good to trust my intuition. A good read: All About Love by Bell Hooks I feel different because I'm centered in myself. I don't feel scared of dying. Is morbidity a word? (Hint: it is. Am I using it right? Probably not.) I'm doing me; I'm being me: I'm fully expressing. I feel I've accomplished much. My life is full of color. I'm living up to my potential, promise. I know my worth. I know my worth. I know my worth. (Worth sounds heavy.) I'm writing more; there is a second book in process and it is unraveling from the insides of my body onto the page. My life is a 52-card pickup game. I bought an Oura ring. I want to know my body mechanics. My body is my science experiment. Direct Eye Contact! I might be allergic... to the daisies I keep picking? I'm making a 40 list--of things I know, things I've learned through experience. Left Brain/Right Brain = Editor/Writer; I am a whole Artist. I fumble through some body part poetry. I have a painter's heart. I feel like I'm living in a moving set. Like that Jim Carrey movie I can't remember. Do you have a librarian working overtime in your brain too? Maybe I should write a children's book called See Liz Human. I'm going to be 40 in two days. Wanna know my schedule of events? No? Too bad. I tell you anyway. I still haven't gone kayaking. You can read about my first attempt in my book, I Was a Good Wife.

When a song can bring your soul into worship, it becomes more than just a song. You know?

The middle's end of a journey… because it'll never be over. My brain is a pinball machine. I'm sorting my traumas and sometimes this process takes time. I use creative outlets to keep me focused, and I make art to ease into--and through-- feelings. I like to live at a slower pace; I ride the streams of consciousness so I can find the treasures in my subconscious—free association is easy for me. For Part 3, I begin to peel my next layer; and what surfaces is the trauma of religion. I sing a song I used to sing when I'd take the "stage" as a pastor's wife. Watch the other parts on YouTube: Part 1 - Sometimes processing looks like this. Part 2 - Sometimes it looks like this.

I pat myself on the back more than once in this episode because I started my day by firmly and kindly setting boundaries. Good job, Liz! Digestible nuggets from this episode: I am worth protecting my time and energy. I don't have to play all of these societal games. I've chosen to adopt a schedule that supports my current--and future--inner growth. I'm ready to look at my trauma. I have set the stage of my life. I am prepared. This is the first time in my life that I feel permission and allowance--and I have the confidence and self-love--to show up and fight for me and my needs. I don't have to fit into a structure that does not work for me. I can create my own. This is how I live now. I'm not a brand loyalist and I will not be branded. I'm learning to accept my [physical] smallness. Words mean different things to different people. Words are no longer defined by their definitions rather, they are defined by how [the word] makes someone feel. It's clear to me now that we are all speaking our own languages, even if it sounds like we are speaking the same. Clarification is always required but nobody wants to ask. So, I have adopted the Teacher-Student Method in my approach to communication.. when interacting with humans who want to engage. In every conversation--where there is an equal exchange and respect is offered and humbly accepted--each party has the opportunity to teach something to the other which then allows each party to accept the opportunity to learn when the roles shift. It's a volley. I teach, you learn, then you teach, I learn. Repeat. I believe living takes practice and communication is key to living well, but we gotta help each other out! Are you ready to find the treasures in your shit? I think I learned responsibility by breaking the rules. When you're a kid, you think being an adult is the coolest because you can do whatever you want! Then we grow up and stop doing what we want. Today, be a grownup kid. Drink chocolate milk! I love interacting with my life. It's fun! This is how I wrote I Was a Good Wife: I used my Instagram photos to map the chronology of my story; I chose 382 and then created 382 Google docs and wrote about each photo. Boom. A book!

My voice is so soft. I was at peace. A few nuggets: Follow me on Instagram to watch me... sing mostly. Planned vs Inspired Action ... thoughts? I'm selling my art, because I'm an artist and that's what we do. You can purchase it here. I am learning to bite my tongue until I know what I mean to say; my current process [in the Creative Flow] is hidden because it requires it to be. I like sharing, but not everything is meant--or ready--to be shared. Chapter Readings (starting at page 575 with Open Relationships from I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait) Also, I still can't believe I wrote a book. I don't know if I got the words to Blessed Assurance correct, and I know I didn't get the words to I'm a Little Hunk of Tin correct.

I have restructured my life; everything begins and ends with my mental health. I'm learning how to love myself so I can love others, and I can change paths whenever I want because my life is a Choose Your Own Adventure story. You might be interested in reading this book if you love love like me: Love by Leo Buscaglia

Backslash comes out of my mouth funny. Check out my art in the Memoirtistry Shop. This episode, I have an impromptu evening ritual with three candles and some rain while I free-associate (per usual). 1. Thank you, Past. 2. Hello, Present. (And meet Nicole...) 3. Be a Surprise, Future.

This one's a doozy. I talk about... all the steps I'm taking at work and how I'm mining for story and what do I need and how do I express what I need and I'm getting comfy being me! and literally. exactly. there is purpose in movement and living on my own, let's go! and no more quarantining my truth in a single room. and tell me, what is something you've learned about yourself recently? I miss having a faith community (notice I don't name the worship singer, why didn't I just say her name? why am I still not saying it?) and familiar is Christianity and how I enjoy practicing a way of living that is challenging, that makes me try to be good and what is "being good" to you? I am seeking something to give me purpose, something I can't see but that I can feel. Is church really just the largest book club in the world? also, am I too self-aware for my own good? roles don't matter and what does it mean to practice sobriety? I'm just over here doing whatever it is that I want. we are always just practicing living. Be 'wheat. xoxo I'm living my book notes, ya'll. Ain't that crazy?! Who is paying attention--for real--ever? Falling asleep early is the best. Good tired. Good job. Good day.

I haven't read from my book in a while, so I thought I would do that and reflect on my word of the year. Links! (look at me not being lazy, yay!) I Was A Good Wife: A Self-Portrait (via the Amazon) I Was A Good Wife: A Self-Portrait (signed by me!) Blind Box Toys

I am tired and don't feel like dropping links right now, so, if you hear something you want to know more about, take to the Google machine. I just wanted to upload this and go to bed. If I remember to come back and add links, cool. Otherwise, oops? You'll forgive me, right?

Tell me a story! But leave out the truth, please. I do it all the time, veil my truth, even though it may not seem like it. I know I share more than the average person might with "anyone who'll listen". I struggle with it constantly; I wrestle my tongue. I like my stories to tell the truth. I'm learning discernment though, for the sake of story and for the sake(s) of someone(s) who may not want to hear it. Want to share with me what you think about my thoughts? Click here and record a message for me! (Just remember, if you do leave a message, I reserve the right to share it in an episode.)

Today was beautiful and my body needed to soak and sweat in the sun so I took a walk and blabbed to myself about a show I've been watching and then fell into a memory about culottes before plugging my favorite plant lady and almost forgetting to announce I have art for sale now in the shop. Links: Couples Therapy Culottes Follow @potitations on Instagram SHOP: Memoirtistry BONUS CONTENT ALERT! Lol, I guess I just wanted to keep on blabbing. Watch me do that here.

I'm not really in the mood to write a description so I'll be brief. I've been trying to figure out how to capture my process when the creative flow hits me ... not only did I record the audio, but I also recorded video! So, if you want, you can watch this episode instead.

Memoirtistry, Night Shades. This is one of my trigger words, so I thought I'd make it beautiful and sing it. YouTube Karaoke-style :: Liability by Lorde

I reconnected with an old friend recently and was surprised when he told me he's been listening to my podcast ... like, to every episode! So this one's for him. I'm glad you're back in my life, Dan. These are the things I ramble about: Undone on Amazon Prime I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait Memoirtistry.com Seattle Boudoir & Co. Follow @liz.gurley and/or @memoirtistry to see me art.

I process my innocence and naiveté... and I try to say naiveté and bomb, even though I say it right. I also talk faster than I think I ever have in a recording before, thanks strong coffee + no food in my belly. Links to things I talk about: Sex: Real People Talk About What They Really Do by Henry Maurer Betty Davis: They Say I'm Different I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait

I had a dream and remembered it! There was a bear, and it meant something... Links to things I mention: Kim Krans' Animal Spirit Deck I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait

It's been a difficult handful of days and I just needed to talk about it, and cry... and pretend someone was listening.

It's a bit jumble-jangly; this episode. I am finding myself more and more exhausted with virtual life, and missing in-person community. So I have been churning this thought--the one about the internet breaking or turning off--and wondering how I might fair IRL. I also get distracted with the Myers-Briggs and my imagination and then go on a weird tangent about how sitcoms are teaching me to relationship. "Classic Liz," some might say. Let's see, what links do I need to share because I said something... er... oh, I wrote this book, and you can follow Memoirtistry on IG to see the before & after of this in-progress collage I'm making.