Turtle Tales - A Film Podcast

Ooo boi! It's Marvel time again here at Turtle Tales which means that our Turtles have come prepared to discuss the newest piece of content of Marvel's neverending library, Eternals! Well… at least some of our turtles have come prepared… half, half of our turtles… Tune in to listen to an in depth discussion of this “infamous” superhero flick as the turtles evaluate whether or not this is “Marvel's All Time Low”... But also Thor: The Dark World is a thing so… no.

Get ready for the most chaotic episode yet as the Turtles introduce a new member to the team to add some chaotic energy for this SPOOOOOOOOOOKY special episode! How chaotic you ask?!?! Well, in an episode intended to discuss a spooky selection of “Halloweeney” movies, the Turtles discuss our hypothetical gofundme, Lightyear, dream halloween costumes, Talladega Nights, uhh bulges… oh and uh spooky movies of course. PRESENTING THE HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR!!!

“Evil dies tonight”...yeah let's hope so…. This week, the Turtles briefly discuss DC Fandome and the trailers that were released including The Batman, Flash, Black Adam, Shazam and more! Additionally, the Turtles talk about the Season 2 finale of Ted Lasso (God that show is so good). Finally, the Turtles review the (sorta?) highly anticipated TWELFTH installment in the Halloween franchise: Halloween Kills!

The name's Tales….TURTLE TALES!! This week, the Turtles take the time to discuss the films they've watched recently including the new Netflix remake: The Guilty, Apple Original's Coda, and the horror cult classic: Rob Zombie's Halloween. To round out the episode, the Turtles dive into the waters that is Daniel Craig's final Bond film: No Time To Die - a film that has been heavily delayed time and time again. Did the Turtles have a good time with the 25th installment of the Bond franchise, or did they find that there was actually WAY too much time to die?? Grab your martini's (shaken not stirred) and tune in to find out!

A NEW MOVIE!!! Haha yes! For weeks, the turtles have been clamoring for anything to discuss. Finally, October has arrived and with it, new content like… Venom: Let There Be Carnage… ugh… we'll take it. Tune in as the Turtles dive into the newest addition to the “Venom Franchise” as well as reflecting over the first Venom and how it paved the way to… this… Oh, we also talk about Ted Lasso Season One, because Ted Lasso cures the depression Venom: Let There Be Carnage causes.

With the only “exciting” news this week being the release of the Illumination's Mario movie casting, the Turtles wind back that clock to a simpler time: a time where movies just meant enjoying what you saw without needing a deeper meaning. The Turtles discuss the films that left the biggest impact in their childhoods and take a much needed trip down memory lane. Stay tuned to find out who says “OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT MOVIE!” the most!

This episode, the Turtles discuss a wide variety of content they watched this week. Ranging anywhere from serious, thought provoking dramas such as Dead Poets Society, to surreal comedies such as Swiss Army Man and everything in between. Finally, the Turtle's discuss James Wan's newest film: Malignant. Did the Turtles get scared sh* tless watching this horror/thriller? Or did this film cause them to fall into a dormant state....as if they were a tumor.....waiting to be reawakened....perhaps by getting hit against a wall....? Stay tuned to find out!!!! Oh yeah.....also the Hawkeye trailer......yaaaaaaaaaaaaay...... more Marvel content......

With The Matrix Resurrections trailer providing the only dose of new and “exciting” content released this past week, the Turtles were presented with the time necessary to discuss a film that had left them puzzled for nearly ten years. Finally, they have the time to discuss this time-honored classic, In Time. Follow us into this complex and often frustrating breakdown of a world where time… equal… money…

ALL of the Turtles are back again again again… again!!! Back with a new studio, a new intro AND a brand new Marvel movie to talk about, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings! Listen as the Turtles have a sophisticated film school discussion on whether Shang-Chi is just another link in the Marvel chain, or if the martial arts superhero film is all that is talked up to be. Find out on Shang-Chi and the Tale of the Turtles!

We're back again AGAIN!!! Well… we are missing one of our Turtles so I guess we are not like, reeeeeeeally back fully again but- WE ARE BACK! This episode, we discuss all we've watched since being away including high art like: The Green Knight, The Suicide Squad and Free Guy! We then get to our main spooky topic of Candyman… Candyman… Candyman… Candyman… Can- Ooo wee no way, that that was a close one phew haha

This week, the turtles finish their discussion of the “Assterpiece”, Old, and challenge themselves to remember WHAT THE FK EVEN HAPPENED IN THIS MOVIE?!?! Afterwards, the turtles move on to a thoughtful discussion of the newest film starring Nicolas Cage, Pig, to see if they can answer a life long mystery: what is a truffle?

This episode, the boys are back to discuss what torture is like in movie form.

Ooooo boi, the Turtles are doing their duty to cinema and discussing all of the new Marvel content: Black Widow and Loki! Listen in to the Turtles takes on the newest editions to the Marvel Cinematic Universe: some will be cold, some will be pippin' hot, but all will be spilled on this very special episode of Turtle Tales!!! (P.S. Sorry we were late, but don't worry, we will talk about Old and Snake Eyes soon!)

This week, the turtles were unable to get together… but that doesn't mean we don't have something under our SHELLS! LMFAO! Long ago, we recorded a very special turtle talk, elegantly discussing the work of beloved auteur, Christopher Nolan. Inevitably, this episode was a mess, and, like Nolan's work, too complex to comprehend. These factors caused this turtle talk to be swept away by the current… until now! Featuring the one of a kind, Self Proclaimed Philosopher, Edward George Haag!

This episode, the Turtles review the highly anticipated summer blockbuster F9: The Fast Saga!!! Listen in as the turtles discuss their favorite parts of the film that is saving cinemas around the world. (TAKE THAT CHRISTOPHER NOLAN) And remember, it is always about FAMILY!!

The Turtles are back babyyy! This episode, the Turtles review the highly praised comedy special INSIDE from the creative mind of Bo Burnham. Listen in as we get back into the swing of things and discuss films like the Father, trailers such as Shang Chi and Halloween Kills, and the critically acclaimed cinematic masterpiece that is FAST AND FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT!!

We know it's been a while… Us Turtles have been facing a transitional period in our podcasting journey, drifting us away from each other and our goal of saving the world with our film opinions… But it isn't in our nature to quit, we swim upstream, no, SURF upstream to bring you new episodes again every Wednesday. New Day. Same Turtles

Two Zach Snyder films in one year?! Ooooo boi, some of the turtles are happy and others are… surprisingly entertained? Find out how the turtles react when cinematic genius, Zach Snyder, is allowed FULL creative control… like, from the start this time… So no need for, like- any any director’s cuts or or sequels or prequels or pre-sequels… right? ...please....

As the Turtles approach a transitional-messy period in their epic podcast journey, they join together for an impromptu turtle talk about all they've been watching. With no theme whatsoever, the Turtles discuss: Promising Young Woman, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones and (of course) the Venom: Let There Be Carnage Trailer! Haha yeah... all this and a lil bit more in this RANDO episode (we're trying our best :( I swear)

This episode, the Turtles discuss the mess that was the 2021 Academy Awards as well as the second Marvel Disney+ show, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. Did the Turtles enjoy this newest superhero bro-down? Were the turtles SHOCKED by some of the controversial decisions made during the Oscars?Will Baron Zemo make his podcast dancing debut? Find out in this new episode of Turtle Tales!

Nothing too special to talk about this week… what about-like, top 5 favorite action movies? With nothing topical to talk about, (as of 4/21 when this was recorded...) the Turtles decided to have a nice Turtle Talk about their favorite action movies. Joined by honorary Turtle Anthony, the Turtles reveal their definitive action lists: Terminator, Nacho Libre, Die Hard, etc. these films and more are all discussed in relation to the Action movie genre. Also in this episode, the turtles talk about recent trailers for Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings and F9 and how they are going to watch the Oscars! Ooo boi can't wait for those Oscars!

The Turtles open old wounds by discussing Mandalorian Season 2, Nacho Libre, and end off with a Turtle Tussle of the ages: Dredd Vs. Judge Dredd. I AM.........THE LAW! This episode, the Turtles and a very special guest battle over which Dredd film reigns supreme. Will it be the 1995 Sylvester Stallone cult classic film Judge Dredd, or will it be the dark and gritty reboot from 2012? Stay tuned to find out in our latest TURTLE TUSSLE!

The Turtles discuss a wide array of films such as Nacho Libre, BlacKkKlansman, Bad Trip, and end off with the highly anticipated film: Godzilla Vs. Kong! This episode, the Turtles dive into the film that's been saving cinemas around the world: Godzilla Vs. Kong (HA! Take that Christopher Nolan!). Does the film live up to the hype? Or does it fall to the wayside of other "VS" movies that companies make to get a lot of money? Find out in this new episode of Turtle Tales!

This episode, the Turtles try their best to procrastinate reviewing Joe and Anthony Russo’s new “film”, Cherry. Okay, so not gonna lie, this week the Turtles struggled to come up with something to discuss and ended up having to do an in depth review of… ugh... Cherry. However, just because they had to talk about the Russo Brothers "artsy" follow up to Endgame, doesn’t mean they couldn’t fill up time with literally ANYTHING else. That means The Suicide Squad trailer, Looper, all of Rian Johnson’s filmography, our last theater experiences, I Love You, Man… ANYTHING to stop us from talking about Cherry… F**K! Also, look forward to next week… OUR TURTLE-VERSARY! 1 WHOLE YEAR SINCE OUR FIRST PODCAST!

This episode, the Turtles break down Zack Snyder's Justice League! Is it better than the original? Is it good at all? Can Isaac make it two hours without losing his mind? Let's find out!

This episode, the Turtles discuss Marvel's first Disney+ show in the MCU...Wandavision! Groundbreaking, confusing....or just straight DUMB? These are the questions that must be answered if we are to continue being pulled along on the Disney train for the rest of our lives. Also, the Turtles discuss Kickass, The Place Beyond the Pines..... and that stupid new Spongebob movie.

This episode, the Turtles talk about the mess that is the 2021 Golden Globes!

It’s the James Marsden befriends a CGI Animal Turtle Tussle! Hop VS Sonic the Hedgehog! It's a brand new Turtle Tussle! This match, the Turtles pin two films where James Marsden becomes best friends with a CGI animal (the fact that there are two of these says something about his career). Who will win? Will it be Russell Brand as a drumming Easter Bunny, or will it be the movie that REALLY saved cinema in 2020 (screw you TENET)? IT’S TUSSLE TIME! Oh, also the Turtles talk about a short story Connor read and Judas and the Black Messiah… don’t know what else to say... uhhh meow?

The Turtles discuss each of their top five favorite Pixar films of all time. In this episode, the Turtles take a break from the onslaught of the crashing waves that were 2020 films to talk about something that everyone loves: Pixar! Will the Turtles all find common ground and agree on the best Pixar films, or will the shifting tides of their film opinions be too much for them to stay afloat??

In a year practically void of new quality media, last episode, the Turtles scavenged for any decent content they could find. This episode, they talk about everything else so they can finally put 2020 to rest… *really long sigh* For the second week in a row the Turtles discuss content from 2020. However, unlike last time where the Turtles sifted through 2020 for any possible golden nuggets, this time they look at EVERYTHING else… That means all the forgettable st that gave this year it’s shameful reputation: Wonder Woman 1984 - Cyberpunk 2077 - The New Mutants - Scoob! even (dare we include it in this category) TENET!

Before the turtles figure out what the best movies, TV shows and games were in 2020, they have to figure what the f**k even came out in 2020! The Turtles are BACK! This episode, the turtles talk all things 2020, from movies like Sound of Metal and Feels Good Man, to TV shows like Queen's Gambit and a little indie show called....THE MANDALORIAN. Also games. Get get ready 2 have your shells ROCKED!!!!

This episode, the Turtles and a very special guest discuss Mr. Nobody, Spider-Man news and the ONLY film that takes place between the Prequels and the Original Trilogy Will the Turtles stay on track and actually talk about a Star Wars movie for o... This episode, the Turtles and a very special guest discuss Mr. Nobody, Spider-Man news and the ONLY film that takes place between the Prequels and the Original Trilogy Will the Turtles stay on track and actually talk about a Star Wars movie for once or will they....go rogue....one....get it...hehe

This episode the Turtles talk about THE BOYS (Season One and Two): a dark and gritty superhero franchise, but like... it’s not DC. Instead, The Boys are the boys. They are boys, with some girls, that you just wanna chill with cuz they are like bro... This episode the Turtles talk about THE BOYS (Season One and Two): a dark and gritty superhero franchise, but like... it’s not DC. Instead, The Boys are the boys. They are boys, with some girls, that you just wanna chill with cuz they are like bros... but, well, more like boys. And they gonna be real with you, like they gonna tell you when Super-Man is a terrorist and and that’s why we love em. Cuz they’re... THE BOYS uh season one and two... With special guest: A RELEVANT TOPIC IN A TIMELY MANNER!!!

HOT TAKE WARNING(?): With the help of a a very special guest, the Turtles are finally ready to share their critical opinions on this controversial Naughty Dog game. Tune in to hear the Turtles scream, shout and just uh uh just let it all out... we we... HOT TAKE WARNING(?): With the help of a a very special guest, the Turtles are finally ready to share their critical opinions on this controversial Naughty Dog game. Tune in to hear the Turtles scream, shout and just uh uh just let it all out... we we needed to talk it out... Sobs profusely Screams into pillow

This episode, the Turtles discuss all things Star Wars: games, uh Baby Yoda, and the Lego Star Wars stuff! But most importantly, the Turtles finally give their professional opinion on Revenge of the Sith: People have said many things about this f... This episode, the Turtles discuss all things Star Wars: games, uh Baby Yoda, and the Lego Star Wars stuff! But most importantly, the Turtles finally give their professional opinion on Revenge of the Sith: People have said many things about this film: "It's the best of the prequels" "It holds up with the originals for sure" "This is a good movie" Finally, the Turtles set the record straight about Revenge of the Sith!!!

This episode, the Turtles FINALLY are all swimming in the same sea, but we ain't surfin' together quite yet. However, just because we late to the game right now, doesn't mean we won't talk DC Fandom! So get ready for a two week old episode where the... This episode, the Turtles FINALLY are all swimming in the same sea, but we ain't surfin' together quite yet. However, just because we late to the game right now, doesn't mean we won't talk DC Fandom! So get ready for a two week old episode where the Turtles talk about all of it: the games, the movies and THE BATMAN!!!!! GET READY FOR MORE TURTLE TALES!!!

Malk malkovich mal turtles malkovich malk uhhhh m malko mal m malk mal, mal Turtles malk malko Malkovi Malkovich mal Malko Malkovich's malkovich malkovich, Malkovich Malk Malkovich! Mal turtles malkovich m malk malk malk mal malkovich ma ma mal malk... Malk malkovich mal turtles malkovich malk uhhhh m malko mal m malk mal, mal Turtles malk malko Malkovi Malkovich mal Malko Malkovich's malkovich malkovich, Malkovich Malk Malkovich! Mal turtles malkovich m malk malk malk mal malkovich ma ma mal malk mal malkovich malkovichs mal malkovichs malkovich Malkovich Malcovich mal... mal Clone Wars... ma malkovich malk malk ma Clone Wars.

This episode... that was recorded over a month ago... the the Turtles do another TURTLE TUSSLE!!! Yes! Again, the Turtles have selected two top notch pieces of cinema to compete against eachother to find out which ends on top and which ends up stuck... This episode... that was recorded over a month ago... the the Turtles do another TURTLE TUSSLE!!! Yes! Again, the Turtles have selected two top notch pieces of cinema to compete against eachother to find out which ends on top and which ends up stuck on their shell. This episode, the Turtle's tussle Batman v Superman VS Justice League in preperation for the Snyder Cut of Justice League!!! Also on this episode, the Turtles bring on a very special guest!

Finally! The long awaited discussion by the Turtles on George Lucas' masterpiece is here! Swim back with the Turtles to... whatever happens in this movie. Like romance, kinda? There's a a a clone army, sand, Jengo Fett, Boba Fett, lightsabers, and so... Finally! The long awaited discussion by the Turtles on George Lucas' masterpiece is here! Swim back with the Turtles to... whatever happens in this movie. Like romance, kinda? There's a a a clone army, sand, Jengo Fett, Boba Fett, lightsabers, and some politics. Essentially everything you could want from a Star Wars movie.

This episode, the Turtles were planning on talking exclusively about Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones. However, given the... quality of that film, they got carried away by a different subject. Look out for the rest of the discussion on At... This episode, the Turtles were planning on talking exclusively about Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones. However, given the... quality of that film, they got carried away by a different subject. Look out for the rest of the discussion on Attack of the Clones this Friday, while this episode the Turtles will be discussing The Last of Us. Also in this episode, a new Turtle officially joins Turtle Tales!

This episode, the Turtles talk about the 2019 film, The Lodge. A film no one has ever heard of, leaving Turtle Wesley alone in his isolated hell of hatred... until now! The Turtles again swim off course though, eventually arguing about Planet of the... This episode, the Turtles talk about the 2019 film, The Lodge. A film no one has ever heard of, leaving Turtle Wesley alone in his isolated hell of hatred... until now! The Turtles again swim off course though, eventually arguing about Planet of the Apes, untangling the X-Men franchise, and ripping on Todd Phillips. All this and more in this mess of an episode!

This episode, the Turtles talk about Sam Raimi's 2009 horror film *Drag Me to Hell*. Is it too spooky? Too cheesy? Too many sweraing goats? This episode, the Turtles talk about Sam Raimi's 2009 horror film Drag Me to Hell. Is it too spooky? Too cheesy? Too many sweraing goats?

This episode, the Turtles review their first film from the year 2020... unfortunatly, that film is Scoob! Prepare yourself for cameos from irrelevant celebrities, trendy jokes that won't land, and F-bombs... lots and lots of F-bombs. #notmyshaggy This episode, the Turtles review their first film from the year 2020... unfortunatly, that film is Scoob! Prepare yourself for cameos from irrelevant celebrities, trendy jokes that won't land, and F-bombs... lots and lots of F-bombs. notmyshaggy

This episode, the Turtles break down Ari Aster's Midsommar, to find out if it's worth every film student in the world hyping it up as the second coming of cinema (it's not). This episode, the Turtles break down Ari Aster's Midsommar, to find out if it's worth every film student in the world hyping it up as the second coming of cinema (it's not).

This episode, the Turtles disect David Cronenberg's, Videodrome, to eventually decide whether or not it is worth the honor of purchasing the Criterion Bluray. Doing their best to stay on topic, the Turtles still manage to swim off course discussing o... This episode, the Turtles disect David Cronenberg's, Videodrome, to eventually decide whether or not it is worth the honor of purchasing the Criterion Bluray. Doing their best to stay on topic, the Turtles still manage to swim off course discussing other things such as Cloverfield, Mad Max, and just being really god damn bored...

This episode, the Pixar film Ratatouille almost tears the turtles apart. Can they make it through the hour with their friendship still in tact? This episode, the Pixar film Ratatouille almost tears the turtles apart. Can they make it through the hour with their friendship still in tact?

This episode, we have our very first Turtle Tussle! A segment where we will pin two films against eachother to see which shall be deemed the superior turtle. This Turtle Tussle, we dive into the "Busy Businessman" genre, as Furry Vengeance (2010) and... This episode, we have our very first Turtle Tussle! A segment where we will pin two films against eachother to see which shall be deemed the superior turtle. This Turtle Tussle, we dive into the "Busy Businessman" genre, as Furry Vengeance (2010) and Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011) tussle it out!

In this very merry May the 4th episode, we bring Star Wars: The Phantom Menace out of its shell. In this very merry May the 4th episode, we bring Star Wars: The Phantom Menace out of its shell.

This episode, we bring Re-Animator out of its shell. This episode, we bring Re-Animator out of its shell.

This episode, we bring the cult classic Donnie Darko out of its shell. This episode, we bring the cult classic Donnie Darko out of its shell.

This episode, we bring Wes Craven's Scream Quadrilogy out of its shell. This episode, we bring Wes Craven's Scream Quadrilogy out of its shell.