Zero Doinks: A Chicago Bears Podcast

What does the Chicago Bears 2025 schedule release have in common with Dave Coulier in a movie theater? Find out on this episode of Zero Doinks as the boys tick through all 17 obvious wins, starting with Monday Night Football in Week 1 against JJ McCarthy and the Vikings. Thanks for listening, we love you and want to bathe you.

After Ryan Poles spent the weekend listening to the board it is clear that Ben Johnson's first draft has his beautiful mitts all over it. We recall how we initially felt on Thursday with the Colston Loveland pick versus how we feel now after days of hot, intense research. So many new Bears to wrap our minds around, as well as a preview of who we think our beloved will be opening the 2025 season against. Enjoy the one draft review out there that talks about showering with dogs.

Hang the banner, the Bears have won the 2025 offseason, there is no way this will fail. The offensive and defensive lines are shaping up beautifully, the draft is looming and Ben Johnson already has hall-of-fame influence in Halas Hall. The Bears are back? We discuss the roster additions to date and look ahead to who we want to see the Bears to target in April's draft. Plus March Madness is about to kick off and a party looms at Bill's house. Did the Gray Balls win the title yet again? Lots to get to. We love you.

Zero Doinks is back for Season 7 and we have never been more full of life. So much has changed since S6 ended with the golden foot of Cairo Santos breaking the hearts of annoying Packers fans. The dream head coach candidate surprisingly said yes to Kevin Warren and the Bears braintrust. Ben Johnson's coaching staff is expensive and impressive. Virginia McCaskey is dead. Dick Jauron? Also dead. But not Zero Doinks. We've never felt more alive. This will not fail.

An 11 game skid against Green Bay ended on Sunday and made us feel hope for the first time in months. Caleb is clearly the man, and now he needs a leader. Hopefully it's Ben Johnson, if Chicago does not Bears it up. Our season finale awaits your ears.

Will the Bears losing streak end in 2024? We doubt it. Tonight we wrap up the 2024 version of Zero Doinks and will return after a new coach (and GM?) is hired. But there's a lot to get to, just maybe not a lot of it revolving around the Bears. We love you, we want your Christmas to be so merry and bright. Go Bears, eventually. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Are we simply fated to a life of bad Bears football? Thomas Brown ended any hope of a dead coach bounce and now we have to suffer through one more month of one of the least enjoyable seasons ever. Let's get Caleb and Rome some sweet stats to close the year, at least.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Eberflus has been fired and we never want to think about him again. We talk about what an idiot that guy was and where we'd like the Bears to look next, under the leadership (?) of the oft car-washing Kevin Warren. Dan has an obsession with bees and other winged things this episode. Will Thomas Brown ever lose as Bears interim head coach? We doubt it. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Thomas Brown and Caleb Williams. Should we keep this tandem together? Caleb looks  unbelievable. Is Flus fired yet? He just keeps finding new ways to mess up, it's comicable at this point. Bears are inches away from getting a Top 10 pick next year. Six games to go. Join us, as we prepare for the Lions game. They're going to murder us. Also we love Onebar and Lupagus. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

We realize you probably don't want to think about the Bears right now but this ep is going to change your mind. As luck would have it, Dan and Bill magically discover they have a similar personal issue occurring right now, and they are about to go on a similar journey together. That is more important than Santos getting his worm-burning kick blocked by the Packers and everyone becoming sunk in misery yet again, right? Caleb to Rome looks like something special, at least, and new OC Thomas Brown might be the only guy on staff who knows how to coach. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Three OCs in 11 games seems like something bad franchises do. Haven't we done this show before? Maybe twice? Shane Waldron was terrible but is there any doubt Green Bay is going to put the negative spotlight back on Flus and his horrible tenure? Just protect Caleb, FFS. And let's have some fun with the return of Keep An Eye On Dan. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Rick Feelsmen took over Twitter Spaces on Election Day and his predictions for what's to come for America and the Chicago Bears are a must-listen. Plus maybe he'll slide in his three hot picks for this weekend? Special thanks to Elon Musk for his Spaces technology providing speaking guests an involuntary + thick lisp from time to time. Happy (?) Election Day 2024. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Welp, that Cardinals effort suggests the Flus has lost the locker room. The fan base already hated him but the Hail Mary probably sealed his fate and there's no real reason to keep him around anymore. The Illini football squad keeps kicking Bill Doinks in the noots. What are good teams? Can someone please introduce them to us? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Honestly, this episode might be the medicine you need after Sunday if you are a long-suffering Bears fan. Bill has been buried in familiar feelings of despair since Washington's Hail Mary landed and he's unsure if he's ready to talk about it. Can Dan (and/or Grover) cure him? Right on cue, Rick Feelsmen went 0-3 with his hot picks, the Illini got their doors blown off by top-ranked Oregon and there is no reason to live. Or is there? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Football in Chicagoland is so hot you're going to need to guard all of your unmentionables as we go into a weekend of huge games. Jayden Daniels better not sit this one out, we've been looking forward to Caleb going toe-to-toe with the No 2 pick since Week 1. We'll warm up your trousers for the headline NFC matchup and take Bill's temperature about the No 20 Illini's underdog hopes at top-rated Oregon this Saturday. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears are riding high and taking a three game winning streak into the bye. The boys of Zero Doinks are taking a mini-bye with them, with the voice of Bill Doinks guiding you home this week. Rick tries to stay hot, the B1G has huge games ahead and we all get to sit back and watch one, and hopefully two, NFC North teams lose this weekend. Caleb is the greatest QB of all time. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Two game winning streaks aren't super common around here. Three games? You'd have to go back to 2020. We're ready for one of those again. Are the Bears? Let's preview a big swing game in London against the Jags, after recapping a sensual win over Carolina. Plus tons more, including the 10-5 Rick Feelsmen.  #zerodoinks #rickfeelsmen #hamms #grover #goldencock #cornishhen #matteberflus #beefs #returnofbeefs #greasetank #hurricanes #ditka #marathon #ucla #illini #illinois #peewee #billmurray #caleb #willymurray #whiskeyglasses #calebpasses #ebermeter #simone #grimace #danseyebrows #chairy #shadkhan --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears are back to .500 with no signs of ever going back under. Dan Doinks was on the field on Sunday pregame for the Rams game, and has stories for days about his experience. Thank god he and B are alive. There is no question the Bears are back, possibly all the way, after Sunday's win against the Rams, especially with the Red Rifle looming for his return to Soldier Field this weekend. We'll get you ready, as will the red hot 8-4 Zero Doinks sharp Rick Feelsmen, who is Feelsmen'ing himself after an incredible start to the year. Plus a little B1G talk and much more. #zerodoinks #rickfeelsmen #hamms #grover #goldencock #cornishhen #matteberflus #beefs #returnofbeefs #greasetank #davidross #ditka #coachq #philjackson #illini #illinois #b #flags #caleb #yosoycaleb #whiskeyglasses #calebpasses #thirddownshane #simone #andydalton --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

That loss still hurts days after, but we will talk you through it, loyal listener, and hope to make you crack a smile or two along the way. So many special guests this week, including Grover, Rick Feelsmen x2 and so much more. At least Illini football is all the way back? Thank you for bearing through a very familiar start to the season. We do love Caleb and stand with him. Shoutout GreaseTank and his lovely future bride Sarah on their engagement that we forgot to mention this episode. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

There is nothing to worry about. The Texans might end up winning the Super Bowl and the Bears took them down to the final minute, on the road, in front of a very sweaty Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth. A four game winning streak starts this weekend in Indianapolis as Caleb and the offense are close to clicking unlike anything Chicago has ever seen. Plus, the Illini football team is ranked and potentially unstoppable. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears have never lost a game in the 2024 season and there is a chance they never will. Rookie QB Caleb Williams had a shaky debut, and Dan Doinks was there to see it. Is he concerned or has he already shaken it off? You'll hear from him and ZD's resident gambling shark Rick Feelsmen. You won't hear from Bill Doinks, at least directly. But he'll be back next week. We love you. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

We have been waiting our whole lives to have a quarterback worth getting excited for, worth putting our hopes into with the idea there will be a payoff. Finally, the end of the beginning starts on Sunday with Caleb's first real game. But first, we'll wrap a bow around the Hard Knocks experience as Episode 5 was pretty great, at least in the mind of Bill Doinks. Dan takes us on a trip through Nashville and the Week 1 opponent. Rick Feelsmen is back with his three hot picks to fade or follow during Hamm's N Bread. A new segment? Why not. Hamm's N Legs is here to get you ready for fantasy football season. Plus the Illini are leading the B1G with a Top 20 team coming to Champaign this weekend, and Dan has a few things to get off his chest regarding PJ Fleck's Gophers. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Episode 4 of Hard Knocks is now out for our enjoyment and the boys of Zero Doinks break it down for you like only they can. Can HBO Max find other storylines besides Flus, Caleb and the Ferret King? Maybe. Kind of. We're almost living in a world where the football is real, and we're here to get you through the next few days. Plus a quick look at the B1G as the Illini and Gophers kick off this week. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Episode 3 of Hard Knocks might be the best of the season thus far. We hope you jump right in after you've watched, so you can listen to the often perverse perspective of two middle-aged Bears fans who are just trying to survive until Week 1 of the 2024 season. Thanks for listening. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

After HBO Max finally decided to upload this ep an hour late, which put Dan Doinks an hour past his evening feeding time, we took notes on Ep2 and bring it to you with spoilers left and right. The bottom line with this episode, in our humble opinion - protect Theo at all costs. And cut Velus Jones yesterday. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

If you haven't watched Ep1 of Hard Knocks yet, please revisit our insanity shortly thereafter. This is clearly the place to get a unique take and an instant Hard Knocks review of the first episode of Chicago Bears "Winds of Change.” It was an absolute doozy. Dive right in for our unorthodox perspective. #canadianeagle --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

After a hiatus, the boys of Zero Doinks are back as the Bears begin camp in Lake Forest. Caleb looks amazing already and there is no chance our predictions of 11-12 Bears victories will fall short. Injuries are scarce, the vibes are hot and the Bears are all the way back. Dan expresses some nerves about the upcoming Hard Knocks season, of which we are planning immediate reaction ZD episodes. Dan Pompei of The Athletic hits our radar again after another weird article. Plus plans for 2024 Bears Fantasy Corner and highly-desired Bears weekly awards are previewed. Is Rick Feelsmen alive? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Dan Doinks avoided schedule leaks all day and he's ready for all 17 Bears games to be teased to him one by one this week. Will Bill have the beloved at 17-0? Will Dan shock us all with over-the-moon optimism? How will Caleb fare against NFC North foes this year? We dive so so deep and put our sizeable necks on the line with hot takes and predictions as only we can. This is the best time of the year. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Caleb Williams is officially a Bear and he has already taken over the team and city. He's our weird QB and it is about time we have a dude who does not give a F. With his new WR weapon Rome Odunze, clearly this new era cannot and will not fail. The boys of Zero Doinks chat through each of the five new Bears rookies, with a hat tip to The Average Cheese's Peter Jones and his draft guide, as well as the return of Bill's Comps. Plus tons more, including where do the Bears still need to plug some roster holes, what do we make of the stadium plans, and more. It is our time. Maybe. Finally. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Bonus ep of Zero Doinks as the Illini march into Boston for their first Sweet 16 appearance in nearly 20 years. Will Bill Doinks be there in the flesh to witness a potential run to the Final 4? Odds are decent. Plus Dan Doinks pops his head in from Florida to give his take on the Justin Fields trade and the Bears current state of being all the way back. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

We are sitting here, as free agency is beyond hot, waiting for a big move from Ryan Poles and the Bears. Depth is great (that's what she said) but where is the star power? It's time, Bears. Wow us. Also, does anyone want Justin Fields? Are we still Team Caleb? Plus, March Madness is just around the corner. Thank you for hanging with us for SIX SEASONS. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

We didn't die, we just needed time to digest the reality that the Flus is back. At least there's a new offensive playcaller in the house now in Shane Waldron, and at least he has had success in the league. But what's the plan for 2024 and beyond? We look at how free agency could shape Ryan Poles's options in the draft and we finally pick a QB lane, all of these weeks later. Plus will Dan go above .500 in "Keep An Eye on Dan" or will his dreams fade? Some Illini hoops talk, including the uncomfortable subject of Terrence Shannon's legal woes. Gray Balls making noise? Find out all about it and more. Thanks for listening to another season! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Incredibly, the Bears land the number one pick for the second-straight year thanks to the 20/20 vision of GM Ryan Poles. Is Poles going to ride with Matt Eberflus, Luke Getsy and Justin Fields in 2024? Or will the opportunity to clean house be too enticing? Perhaps Week 18 at Green Bay, with a chance to ruin their season, will carry some weight one way or another. Happy new years, Doinkers. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Well, that weekend of football was quite disheartening. We try and find words that make us feel better about the present while keeping an eye on the near and long future. We also try and figure out what Tiny Tim's deal is. Plus tons more. Thanks for listening, it's still worth it we think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

This is an absolute squirrely one, though we mix in actual Bears talk. The Bears are actually giving us hope and a vision for what they can develop into. They somehow find themselves one game out of the wild card yet still would be drafting fifth (and first, thanks Carolina) if the season were to end today. Dan and Bill are jazzed for what is going to be a big game at Cleveland. Win on Sunday and hope begins to develop for the first time in years. Still, dilemmas and big choices await GM Ryan Poles, regardless of how the season shakes out. We also get distracted by talk of Tommy DeVito, Grimace, Grover and edibles. Plus tons more, including our friend Rick Feelsmen. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears had the week off but the NFL rolled on, with most local fans focusing on the Panthers continued cold streak, inching us all closer to the No 1 pick in 2024. People are getting nervous about Jordan Love possibly being really good? Dan returns to the lab this week, as does Rick Feelsmen with his hot hot picks. Bill pays his #hat game debt to Frank, thanks to a disappointing Illini football squad. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

That was a Matt Eberflus masterclass, wasn't it? Are we done with him? I think we're done with him. Justin Fields and the Bears looked pretty good against Super Bowl contender Detroit until that smug bastard had to make some difficult changes. Bill Doinks talks all about it today because Dan is away from the show for holiday reasons this week. Enjoy Bill's dream scenario of what the Bears look like in 2024 plus a bit more, including some original-ish tunes. Plus the Illini are playing for their postseason lives this weekend against the Northwestern Flying Shreks. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate without hens on their table. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

We are hopeful that Justin Fields will be back this week because we are sick of watching Tyson Bagent play (no offense). Dan might have severe diarrhea this episode so stay tuned if that backfires at some point. We wonder about the bedroom activities of the Muppets and their puppeters. Plus much more. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Dan and Bill do not link up "live" for this episode but we bring you all sorts of audio nuggets to get you oh so hyped for Bears-Panthers. We're getting a little concerned that the Bears are never going to play Justin Fields ever again. Thank you to Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank for your contributions this week. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Tyson Bagent and the Bears came back to earth on Sunday night against the Chargers but that feels like years ago. We focus more on the acquisition of Montez Sweat from Washington and one of us is very confused about the timing and logic behind it. Plus tons more, including fingering the coach de jour to replace Matt Eberflus as well as another riveting Keep An Eye On Dan. The return of Greasetank for racing nuggets and Rick Feelsmen keeps our eye on the prize for the hottest picks of the weekend. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears, shockingly, have won two of three, this time coming behind a solid performance by rookie QB Tyson Bagent. Can the Bears make it three of four this Sunday night against the Chargers? Vegas says no. We say .... ? Plus the debut of our coaching segment within a segment, the return of Keep An Eye on Dan, a fresh tune plus tons of surprises along the way. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

With Justin Fields now having a busted right thumb, what more is there to even talk about for the 1-5 Bears? So we decided to not talk too much Bears. Enjoy, maybe? 0:00 - 02:51 - Apologies to Cowboy Junkies. 02:51 - 03:45 - What's on tap tonight? 03:45 - 29:06 - Bears-Vikings Review. Fields is hurt. Bagent is whatever. Do we need to start looking toward 2024? Dan is tested again in Keep An Eye on Dan (11-7 going into tonight). 29:06 - 51:44 - Raiders Preview. Dan walks us through the streets of Las Vegas. 51:44 - 66:01 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen (8-11-3) gives us his hottest three picks of the weekend. 66:01 - 74:16 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Who are the boys going with for this Sunday's Bears-Raiders game? 74:16 - 81:27 - B1G Minute. The Illini stun Maryland. 81:27 - 82:20 - Where can you find us on Cameo? 82:20 - 101:05 - Wrap this M'Fer Up. Dan want to talk about a provocative HBO show. 101:05 - END - Apologies to Smokey Maxwell. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

After nearly a full calendar year of losses, the Bears have finally won a football game and the boys of Zero Doinks don't know what to do with themselves. Is this sustainable? Did Dick Butkus have to die for our sins? We discuss the beauty in Washington and look ahead to the Vikings coming to town on Sunday for what could lead to an actual winning streak. Plus tons more, including Rick Feelsmen's hot picks, an actual minute spent on the Big 10 and surprises left and right. Two new tunes as well. 0:00 - 03:07 - Apologies to Taylor Swift for this one. 03:07 - 05:49 - What's on tap tonight? 05:49 - 32:18 - Bears-Washington and Week 5 Review. 32:18 - 46:30 - Bears-Vikings Preview. 46:30 - 71:18 - Hamm's N Bread. America's Favorite Gambling Segment. 71:18 - 80:13 - Bears Fantasy Corner. 80:13 - 82:36 - B1G Minute. 82:36 - 83:29 - Find us on Cameo. 83:29 - 95:38 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. 95:38 - END - Apologies to Dashboard Confessional. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

I mean, how in the world did the Bears blow that one? Still curious where the next win will come from as a short week awaits this Thursday at a decent Washington squad, led by Jan 6th mastermind in DC Jack Del Rio. This episode is a weird one, apologies in advance. Hope, at the least, you enjoy the intro song courtesy of Doctor Dan Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The sun hasn't come out yet this week as we were reminded that the Bears are a football team that continues to rip out our soul, week after week, year after year. Is there any hope for any of us, being that it's only going into Week 4 of the 2023 season? What are we even hoping for at this point? Is JF1 ruined completely? Is anyone worth keeping around? How are we here already? Plus fun and games such as Keep an Eye on Dan, mischief along the way with Rick Feelsmen and the return of Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks with Greasetank Frank. Plus fresh tunes. 0:00 - 02:55 - Daughter of Bill Doinks doing part of a cinema classic. 02:25 - 04:28 - What's on tap tonight? 04:28 - 26:29 - Bears-Chiefs review, I suppose. Keep An Eye on Dan challenge for Dan Doinks. Apologies to Gayle. 26:29 - 51:41 - Broncos Preview but not really. 51:41 - 72:26 - Hamm's N Bread (America's Favorite Gambling Segment). Rick Feelsmen pops in for his hot hot picks. 72:26 - 79:56 - Bears Fantasy Corner. 79:56 - 99:19 - B1G Minute. 99:19 - 100:12 - Support Zero Doinks on Cameo. 100:12 - 114:59 - Dipsh!ts + Dipsticks with GreaseTank Frank. 114:59 - 125:25 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. 125:25 - END - Compliments to Phoebe Bridgers, Darren's child, Daughter of Bill Doinks full version of a cinema classic. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

As Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs await our 0-2 Bears, some tough questions have to be pondered. One of us is ready to take a stand on something, one of us is not. We do not spend too much time on the Bucs game and instead move onto the next opponent who we hope to god the Bears can actually hang with and not embarrass the whole fandom for once. Lots of surprises along the way and hopefully some entertainment for your ears as we continue to hope for the best but expect the worst. 0:00 - 03:04 - Apologies to The Basement Tapes and Bob Dylan for the cover song. 03:04 - 04:36 - What's on tap tonight 04:36 - 36:30 - Bears-Bucs and NFL Review. 36:30 - 56:43 - Chiefs Preview. 56:43 - 74:16 - Hamm's N Bread. 74:16 - 82:12 - Bears Fantasy Corner. 82:12 - 95:36 - B1G Minute. 95:36 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up and Outro Music. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

As much as we'd love to ignore the Bears-Packers Week 1 game, and whatever Luke Getsy drew up after months of preperation, we'll talk about it, but we'll focus more on our experience regarding the joint-smoking professional chef next to us at the tailgate, and other observations. After another contest of 'Keep An Eye on Dan," focus switches quickly to Tampa, which has a guy from an incredibly-named New York town that you just have to hear. Rick Feelsmen offers more expert gambling advice in Hamm's N Spreads, and the boys dive deep into your best Bears fantasy picks in Bears Fantasy Corner. Plus the Illini host the Nittany Lions this weekend in Champaign and the Gophers travel to future top draft pick Sam May (I might have that wrong) and his Tar Heels. Lots of fun along the way as we shake off this miserable feeling. 0:00 - 02:31 - Apologies to the estate of Kurt Cobain and his Nirvana bretheren. 02:23 - 03:41 - What's on tap tonight? 03:41 - 40:08 - What was our experience like in the stadium for Chicago-Green Bay? How do we feel days later? Did either of us watch the game back? Did the tailgater next to us make it home alive? We saw some red flags in the stadium before kickoff. Does Dan Doinks (0-3) finally win at Keep An Eye on Dan? 40:08 - 63:10 - Tampa Preview. Dan attempts to take us through a mental trip of Tampa, Florida, but somehow we end up in Upper New York. 63:10 - 86:38 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen (1-2) pops in for expert gambling advice. What games catch our eye this week? 86:38 - 94:06 - Bears Fantasy Corner. The boys (0-0-1) battle for fantasy supremacy this week with their hot picks against Tampa. 94:03 - 94:56 - Have some cash to burn? Order a Zero Doinks Cameo. 94:56 - 107:23 - Big Ten Minute. Bill Doinks will be in the house this week for Illini-Penn State. The Gophers travel to North Carolina in a tough non-conference battle. 107:23 - END - A little Cubs and Toffees talk plus have the ghosts returned in Dan's house? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The excuses are over, Rodgers no longer can hurt us, it is time for the Bears and Packers to switch roles after 14 years of beatings. Week 1 is finally here and our pants are involuntarily flying off our bodies thinking about what the trajectory of this team could be once they get rolling. Come with us for the ride. 00:00 - 02:45 - Compliments and apologies to Pearl Jam. 02:45 - 05:12 - What's on tap tonight? 05:12 - 37:17 - Bears Chatter. How do we feel about the roster. What is our Justin Fields confidence meter at. What is our final prediction for the 2023 record. Maybe we need to Keep An Eye on Dan? 37:17 - 59:49 - Green Bay Preview. Dan Doinks attempts to walk us through the streets of Green Bay, Wisconsin, but this goes sideways thanks to recent deaths of Jimmy Buffet and Smash Mouth guy. 59:49 - 98:09 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite gambling segment returns with Rick Feelsmen. We will try and win you some cash this year. We actually talk about the Bears-Packers game here. 98:09 - 103:41 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Who are our top picks to win you your W1 fantasy game? 103:41 - 104:33 - Find us on Cameo. Hire us to roast your best friends and family members. 104:33 - 119:48 - B1G Minute. The Illini are still on pace to win the 2023 national championship. Gophers survive W1 against Nebraska. 119:48 - END - Wrap the M'Fer Up. Baseball chatter. Toffees Corner. Tailgate talk leading into an incredible song by Rick Feelsmen. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

A mixed bag for the Bears this preseason as they head into Saturday's finale against Buffalo. Two straight years of preseason injuries on the offensive line, including the recurring theme of a ding-y Teven Jenkins, leading us to wonder what's next? Roster cut down date is a week away and the Bears find themselves with a good problem to have at Edge and QB. By the time you hear from us again, the college football season will have kicked off, including some hot and steamy B1G action, so let's project where our Illini and Gophers are going to land in 2023. Random Pee Wee and Jim Abbott talk for no real reason as well. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears finally have a dude that eats quarterbacks in Yannick Ngakoue. Took long enough but hey, it's only August. Real fake games are coming and we're here to ignore most of it. Are the Bears all the way back? Our yearly ritual of justifying The Athletic's QB Tiers article has arrived. How much are we pretending to not care about what's happening across the NFC North? Also, the B1G expands again. Hamm's N Ted gets touched on with baseball talk. Gray Balls also all the way back? Plus tons more, including lamenting (?) the death of Pee Wee Herman. Oh yeah, Cameo invited us on their site for some reason, in case you want us to roast your friends and lovers. 0:00 - 1:14 - Intro words and such thank you Arrested Development. 1:14 - 7:32 - What's on tap tonight? 7:32 - 56:00 - Bears Chatter. Yannick yes. What to make of camp. God, we are getting old. Sorry if you're a Ryan Pace guy, you're (probably) out. Family fest drama. QB tiers article burns again. How much are we pretending not to care about Jordan Love and the Packers? Was Pee Wee Herman a pervert? 56:00 - 74:54 - B1G Minute. Oregon and Washington have joined. What could possibly be next? Fleck coins. 74:45 - 92:15 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Hey, a taste of baseball talk through Hamm's N Ted. Gray Balls all the way back. 92:15 - END - A reminder of time past with Chicago's cancelled trip to Tennessee during the COVID year. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

It's been so long since our last episode and we missed you so much. The Bears are mere days from getting back together to start their climb out of the NFL basement. Justin Fields had a football camp today that Bill's son went to and wow, you have to hear the inside scoop that was learned. Will Fields merely answer some doubts this season or will he establish himself as the best QB in the division? The B1G Minute takes a weird turn this episode after the breathtaking downfall of Northwestern head coach Pat Fitzgerald. Quite the uneasy union of Shrek and locker room twigs + berries. With these hazing allegations fresh in his mind, Darren from Dublin has some shocking new details about his experience from last year's Wildcats-Huskers game in Ireland. (Former?) Northwestern fan Greasetank Frank returns for a stellar look at everything autosports in the latest Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Plus will Bill, fresh off vacation, finally pay off his Disney turkey leg promise from years ago? Special thanks this ep: Rick Feelsmen for his timely intro song, Coach Cuse for bumper music, Darren from Dublin for his creative and diseased mind, Greasetank Frank for his autoracing expertise 00:00 - 02:02 - Intro to the show, starring Rick Feelsmen and his incredible tune, apologies to Tom Petty 02:02 - 04:14 - What's on tap? 04:14 - 44:03 - Bears Chatter. Post OTA world. Did Poles forget about edge rusher. Eberflus ranked last. Virginia and Mongo for HOF? Son of Bill Doinks at Justin Fields camp, gathering lots of intel. Hard Knocks and Netflix's QB show. 44:03 - 70:30 - B1G Minute. Northwestern Wut. Fitz fired. Lots of nude 'Cats. Super weird. Did Dan Doinks experience such things at his two college stops? How are the Illini and Gophers looking? 70:30 - 105:03 - DipSh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank gives all of us his expertise in car racing, catching us up on NASCAR, Indy and F1. 105:03 - 133:58 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Grimace celebrated a bday. Bill may or may not have delivered on a Disney promise. 133:58 - END - Outro music and more. Interview between Bill Doinks and his son about Justin Fields camp. Shocking revelations about Darren from Dublin's experience in 2022 when Fitz's 'Cats were in Ireland. Very brave. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support