Zero Doinks: A Chicago Bears Podcast

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Two 40-ish dudes. Chicago Bears. Gambling. Beer. Media critiques. Illini. Gophers. Podcast. Season 2 just released!

Zero Doinks

    • Sep 27, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 44m AVG DURATION
    • 140 EPISODES

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    Latest episodes from Zero Doinks: A Chicago Bears Podcast

    S5Ep11: Beat Up + Broken. There Is No God.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2023 140:33

    The sun hasn't come out yet this week as we were reminded that the Bears are a football team that continues to rip out our soul, week after week, year after year. Is there any hope for any of us, being that it's only going into Week 4 of the 2023 season? What are we even hoping for at this point? Is JF1 ruined completely? Is anyone worth keeping around? How are we here already? Plus fun and games such as Keep an Eye on Dan, mischief along the way with Rick Feelsmen and the return of Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks with Greasetank Frank. Plus fresh tunes. 0:00 - 02:55 - Daughter of Bill Doinks doing part of a cinema classic. 02:25 - 04:28 - What's on tap tonight? 04:28 - 26:29 - Bears-Chiefs review, I suppose. Keep An Eye on Dan challenge for Dan Doinks. Apologies to Gayle. 26:29 - 51:41 - Broncos Preview but not really. 51:41 - 72:26 - Hamm's N Bread (America's Favorite Gambling Segment). Rick Feelsmen pops in for his hot hot picks. 72:26 - 79:56 - Bears Fantasy Corner. 79:56 - 99:19 - B1G Minute. 99:19 - 100:12 - Support Zero Doinks on Cameo. 100:12 - 114:59 - Dipsh!ts + Dipsticks with GreaseTank Frank. 114:59 - 125:25 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. 125:25 - END - Compliments to Phoebe Bridgers, Darren's child, Daughter of Bill Doinks full version of a cinema classic. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep10: Kansas City Awaits. Fans Are Jumping Ship. Are We?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2023 110:35

    As Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs await our 0-2 Bears, some tough questions have to be pondered. One of us is ready to take a stand on something, one of us is not. We do not spend too much time on the Bucs game and instead move onto the next opponent who we hope to god the Bears can actually hang with and not embarrass the whole fandom for once. Lots of surprises along the way and hopefully some entertainment for your ears as we continue to hope for the best but expect the worst. 0:00 - 03:04 - Apologies to The Basement Tapes and Bob Dylan for the cover song. 03:04 - 04:36 - What's on tap tonight 04:36 - 36:30 - Bears-Bucs and NFL Review. 36:30 - 56:43 - Chiefs Preview. 56:43 - 74:16 - Hamm's N Bread. 74:16 - 82:12 - Bears Fantasy Corner. 82:12 - 95:36 - B1G Minute. 95:36 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up and Outro Music. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep9: Getsy In The Way. Will The Bears Bounce Back Against Tampa?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2023 116:39

    As much as we'd love to ignore the Bears-Packers Week 1 game, and whatever Luke Getsy drew up after months of preperation, we'll talk about it, but we'll focus more on our experience regarding the joint-smoking professional chef next to us at the tailgate, and other observations. After another contest of 'Keep An Eye on Dan," focus switches quickly to Tampa, which has a guy from an incredibly-named New York town that you just have to hear. Rick Feelsmen offers more expert gambling advice in Hamm's N Spreads, and the boys dive deep into your best Bears fantasy picks in Bears Fantasy Corner. Plus the Illini host the Nittany Lions this weekend in Champaign and the Gophers travel to future top draft pick Sam May (I might have that wrong) and his Tar Heels. Lots of fun along the way as we shake off this miserable feeling. 0:00 - 02:31 - Apologies to the estate of Kurt Cobain and his Nirvana bretheren. 02:23 - 03:41 - What's on tap tonight? 03:41 - 40:08 - What was our experience like in the stadium for Chicago-Green Bay? How do we feel days later? Did either of us watch the game back? Did the tailgater next to us make it home alive? We saw some red flags in the stadium before kickoff. Does Dan Doinks (0-3) finally win at Keep An Eye on Dan? 40:08 - 63:10 - Tampa Preview. Dan attempts to take us through a mental trip of Tampa, Florida, but somehow we end up in Upper New York. 63:10 - 86:38 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen (1-2) pops in for expert gambling advice. What games catch our eye this week? 86:38 - 94:06 - Bears Fantasy Corner. The boys (0-0-1) battle for fantasy supremacy this week with their hot picks against Tampa. 94:03 - 94:56 - Have some cash to burn? Order a Zero Doinks Cameo. 94:56 - 107:23 - Big Ten Minute. Bill Doinks will be in the house this week for Illini-Penn State. The Gophers travel to North Carolina in a tough non-conference battle. 107:23 - END - A little Cubs and Toffees talk plus have the ghosts returned in Dan's house? --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep8: We Need To Beat Green Bay. Gambling and Fantasy Advice are Back.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2023 159:02

    The excuses are over, Rodgers no longer can hurt us, it is time for the Bears and Packers to switch roles after 14 years of beatings. Week 1 is finally here and our pants are involuntarily flying off our bodies thinking about what the trajectory of this team could be once they get rolling. Come with us for the ride. 00:00 - 02:45 - Compliments and apologies to Pearl Jam. 02:45 - 05:12 - What's on tap tonight? 05:12 - 37:17 - Bears Chatter. How do we feel about the roster. What is our Justin Fields confidence meter at. What is our final prediction for the 2023 record. Maybe we need to Keep An Eye on Dan? 37:17 - 59:49 - Green Bay Preview. Dan Doinks attempts to walk us through the streets of Green Bay, Wisconsin, but this goes sideways thanks to recent deaths of Jimmy Buffet and Smash Mouth guy. 59:49 - 98:09 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite gambling segment returns with Rick Feelsmen. We will try and win you some cash this year. We actually talk about the Bears-Packers game here. 98:09 - 103:41 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Who are our top picks to win you your W1 fantasy game? 103:41 - 104:33 - Find us on Cameo. Hire us to roast your best friends and family members. 104:33 - 119:48 - B1G Minute. The Illini are still on pace to win the 2023 national championship. Gophers survive W1 against Nebraska. 119:48 - END - Wrap the M'Fer Up. Baseball chatter. Toffees Corner. Tailgate talk leading into an incredible song by Rick Feelsmen. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep7: Teven Cannot Be Trusted. Too Many Edge Options. QB2. B1G Preview.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2023 76:30

    A mixed bag for the Bears this preseason as they head into Saturday's finale against Buffalo. Two straight years of preseason injuries on the offensive line, including the recurring theme of a ding-y Teven Jenkins, leading us to wonder what's next? Roster cut down date is a week away and the Bears find themselves with a good problem to have at Edge and QB. By the time you hear from us again, the college football season will have kicked off, including some hot and steamy B1G action, so let's project where our Illini and Gophers are going to land in 2023. Random Pee Wee and Jim Abbott talk for no real reason as well. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep6: Sack Machine Signed. Bears All The Way Back. Fake Games Coming. Pee Wee Is Dead.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2023 99:24

    The Bears finally have a dude that eats quarterbacks in Yannick Ngakoue. Took long enough but hey, it's only August. Real fake games are coming and we're here to ignore most of it. Are the Bears all the way back? Our yearly ritual of justifying The Athletic's QB Tiers article has arrived. How much are we pretending to not care about what's happening across the NFC North? Also, the B1G expands again. Hamm's N Ted gets touched on with baseball talk. Gray Balls also all the way back? Plus tons more, including lamenting (?) the death of Pee Wee Herman. Oh yeah, Cameo invited us on their site for some reason, in case you want us to roast your friends and lovers. 0:00 - 1:14 - Intro words and such thank you Arrested Development. 1:14 - 7:32 - What's on tap tonight? 7:32 - 56:00 - Bears Chatter. Yannick yes. What to make of camp. God, we are getting old. Sorry if you're a Ryan Pace guy, you're (probably) out. Family fest drama. QB tiers article burns again. How much are we pretending not to care about Jordan Love and the Packers? Was Pee Wee Herman a pervert? 56:00 - 74:54 - B1G Minute. Oregon and Washington have joined. What could possibly be next? Fleck coins. 74:45 - 92:15 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Hey, a taste of baseball talk through Hamm's N Ted. Gray Balls all the way back. 92:15 - END - A reminder of time past with Chicago's cancelled trip to Tennessee during the COVID year. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep5: Dreaming About the Bears. Nude and Fired in Evanston. Turkey Leg Promises.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2023 139:41

    It's been so long since our last episode and we missed you so much. The Bears are mere days from getting back together to start their climb out of the NFL basement. Justin Fields had a football camp today that Bill's son went to and wow, you have to hear the inside scoop that was learned. Will Fields merely answer some doubts this season or will he establish himself as the best QB in the division? The B1G Minute takes a weird turn this episode after the breathtaking downfall of Northwestern head coach Pat Fitzgerald. Quite the uneasy union of Shrek and locker room twigs + berries. With these hazing allegations fresh in his mind, Darren from Dublin has some shocking new details about his experience from last year's Wildcats-Huskers game in Ireland. (Former?) Northwestern fan Greasetank Frank returns for a stellar look at everything autosports in the latest Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Plus will Bill, fresh off vacation, finally pay off his Disney turkey leg promise from years ago? Special thanks this ep: Rick Feelsmen for his timely intro song, Coach Cuse for bumper music, Darren from Dublin for his creative and diseased mind, Greasetank Frank for his autoracing expertise 00:00 - 02:02 - Intro to the show, starring Rick Feelsmen and his incredible tune, apologies to Tom Petty 02:02 - 04:14 - What's on tap? 04:14 - 44:03 - Bears Chatter. Post OTA world. Did Poles forget about edge rusher. Eberflus ranked last. Virginia and Mongo for HOF? Son of Bill Doinks at Justin Fields camp, gathering lots of intel. Hard Knocks and Netflix's QB show. 44:03 - 70:30 - B1G Minute. Northwestern Wut. Fitz fired. Lots of nude 'Cats. Super weird. Did Dan Doinks experience such things at his two college stops? How are the Illini and Gophers looking? 70:30 - 105:03 - DipSh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank gives all of us his expertise in car racing, catching us up on NASCAR, Indy and F1. 105:03 - 133:58 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Grimace celebrated a bday. Bill may or may not have delivered on a Disney promise. 133:58 - END - Outro music and more. Interview between Bill Doinks and his son about Justin Fields camp. Shocking revelations about Darren from Dublin's experience in 2022 when Fitz's 'Cats were in Ireland. Very brave. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep4: There Are No Losses Here.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2023 68:27

    The 2023 Bears schedule came out tonight and as best as Dan and Bill Doinks can tell, there are no losses here. Is this the year Chicago rises in the NFC North? They have an old rival with a new signal-caller coming to town on September 10th to kick off the undefeated season. Bill and Dan both missed the schedule release show and are going through the games for the first time with a fresh and perverse perspective. There's a lot to like (besides home games on Christmas Eve and New Years Eve) in the year of our lord, Justin Fields. 0:00 - 3:39 - Highlights from last episode. 3:39 - 5:52 - What's on tap tonight? 5:52 - 67:18 - There are no losses here. Bill and Dan go through the schedule like only they can. Optimistic? Pessimistic? How do they feel about four prime time games, three of which are on the road? 67:18 - END - Outro randomness. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep3: A Large Man Shall Protect JF1. Perfect Comps for all 10 Picks.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2023 123:35

    The 2023 NFL draft is over and the Bears made out pretty well, wouldn't you say? 10 freshly-plucked lads, featuring a giant of a man in OT Darnell Wright. We dive deep as only we can, matching each new player with the perfect comp for you to consider. How did divisional rivals Green Bay, Detroit and Minnesota fare? And what's next for our boys in navy and orange? Plus Greasetank Frank returns as autosports is reaching a delectable climax now that the calendar has flipped to May. 00:00 - 02:01 - Apologies to Harry Styles. 02:01 - 03:22 - What's on tap? 03:22 - 75:22 - Bears picks and comps. We walk through the top picks leading into the Bears trade from 9 to 10 and arrival at Darnell Wright. Bill's comps take on a strange new angle this year that you are not going to want to miss, with a special erotic sponsorship. 75:22 - 104:26 - NFC North chatter. How did Chicago's divisional rivals fare during the draft? Are the Packers wary to commit to Jordan Love? 104:26 - 116:03 - Dips and Sticks. Greasetank Frank returns in the heat of the motorsports calendar. 116:03 - END: Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Jacob Infante hurt Dan Doinks very deeply. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep2: We hate mocks. We do a Bears mock. Rodgers can no longer hurt us.

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2023 133:50

    Draft week is finally here. The boys of Zero Doinks cannot stand mock drafts, as you may or may not know, but in order to understand the want to do such things, one must at some point participate. Dan and Bill go through the Bears picks as if they're a drunk Ryan Poles and the results are .... not amazing. Who do we want the Bears to actually take? Which rumors should be believed? Will Ryan Poles do enough to protect Justin Fields or will this be another middling season? Plus the boys dive into the breaking news of Aaron Rodgers finally being traded to the Jets. The king is dead, at long last. What does that do for Chicago's odds in 2023 and beyond? Plus tons more, including odd angles regarding the Mario Brothers movie, future Dave Madness locations, Tucker Carlson's demise and more. 0:00 - 02:25 - Our version of "Better Man," with a Bears twist, per usual. Apologies to Eddie Vedder. 02:25 - 04:51 - What's on tap tonight and why is Dan obsessed with Brooks Brothers? 04:51 - 72:58 - Bears Pre-Draft. We hate mocks but we do a Bears mock. Poles has a tough call to make with #9, doesn't he? If the Bears don't address OL or DL during round 1, how are we all going to feel as our heads hit the pillow on Thursday night? What's the deal with the beef between Windy City Gridiron's Jacob Infante and Dan Doinks? 72:58 - 107:31 - Rodgers is Dead. The Packers can no longer kick the Bears around with Aaron Rodgers at the helm. Are we okay with the trade results between GB and NY? How do we feel about divisional odds now that Rodgers is gone? 107:31 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. We talk way too much about Mario Brothers, including toeing our line between amime and the dark web. Dave Madness recap and projections. We love you, thanks for listening. Check out our new album on Spotify --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S5Ep1: Fields has his WR1. What to do at 9? Early FA splash. March Madness preview. Dips and Sticks.

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2023 128:45

    Season five of Zero Doinks is underway and the Bears are so back. We dive into the huge trade of the number one pick to Carolina for a haul that includes WR DJ Moore. Should we apologize for our level of arousal? What do we want to see at pick nine, now? SO many picks. But that's not even the news of the day, now that free agency is wet and wild and GM Ryan Poles has struck on (at least) three new starters during day one. What are the biggest remaining needs? Who's left out there? What are our NFC North rivals up to? How annoying is Aaron Rodgers? Plus tons more, including March Madness chatter with our tradition of Dave Madness arriving this week. Greasetank Frank pops in for an autosports update during his Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks segment. 0:00 - 2:39 - Intro sound, including a beautiful song by Rick Feelsmen (inspired by The Beatles) and a brief song nugget by Bill Doinks (thanks, Bee-Gees) 2:39 - 9:46 - What's on tap tonight. We try to wrap our minds around our new AI-generated logo. 9:46 - 41:45 - Bears Trade #1. What do the boys think about Ryan Poles's trade of the top pick in the 2023 NFL draft? DJ Moore opinions, future draft ideas at number nine and beyond, etc. 41:45 - 74:18 - Free agency. Day one of free agency has wrapped and the Bears have three, maybe four, new starters. Who is left, what are our rivals doing, what's wrong with Aaron Rodgers. 74:18 - 96:26 - B1G Minute/March Madness. We are days away from the 2023 NCAA tourney kicking off. How does Bill feel about his Illini? Who are our picks to click? How many beers will be consumed at Dave Madness? 96:26 - 111:25 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank takes us around the world of autosports. 111:25 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Baseball, Toffee, Apple TV talk. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    Best of Season 4 of Zero Doinks

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2023 20:58

    These 20 minutes will tell you all you need to know about the boys of Zero Doinks and their special guests. You will hear the voices and inappropriate nature of Dan and Bill Doinks plus Rick Feelsmen, Coach Cuse, Greasetank Frank and Darren from Dublin. Enjoy the best moments from all 32 episodes of Season 4 of Zero Doinks. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

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    S4Ep32: The Bears are on the Clock. Biggest Offseason in Bears History. Rick + Cuse Join Live for Finale.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2023 166:46

    The NFL season has come to an end and so shall Season 4 of Zero Doinks, but not before an explosive season finale. Rick Feelsmen and Coach Cuse join Dan and Bill Doinks in a special subterranean location in the suburbs of Chicago and a lot of ground is covered and Hamm's are consumed. Will additional special guests adorn your ears? A new musical tune? Jump in below to find out. 0:00 - 01:42 - Intro, including a taste of the Doinks boys honoring a classic Billy Joel tune. 01:42 - 03:32 - What's on tap tonight? 03:32 - 41:33 - Super Bowl review, Bears off-season preview. The Bears are on the clock, can you believe it? But first we'll wrap up some Super Bowl thoughts. Is this the biggest off-season in Bears history? We sure think so. Plus "Keep an Eye on Dan" makes its final appearance of the season, and Rick has something up his sleeve for Dan Doinks. A voice from the S4 season debut pops in late. 41:33 - 78:46 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite gambling segment takes its usual twists and turns, as Rick Feelsmen gives us all a live version of his weekly award-winning segment "Hamm's N Spreads." Rick received his reward for his S4 contributions and a very naughty man joins us from overseas. What are the boys going to gamble on during the offseason? They have an idea or two. 78:46 -99:32 - B1G Minute. Consider this a March Madness preview. Which of our beloved teams are going to go dancing? Where's the party going to be this year and do we even want our squads playing during it? Plus what in the world is TT Elite and why are we addicted so quickly? 99:32 - 112:24 - Gray Balls. General Manager and small forward/Coach Cuse gets grilled on the odds of our 35+ intramural basketball team's chances in this year's playoffs. The gifts keep flowing as Coach Cuse accepts a token of our appreciation for putting together a championship squad. 112:24 - 128:35 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank is back as autosport season hath arrived. Whether you are an expert or a novice, let Greasetank guide you through Indycar, Nascar and Formula 1. You won't regret a minute. 128:35 - 145:07 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Let's ignore baseball for the moment because who cares. Everton is still playing. Rick has an answer for the unwelcomed UFOs. Plus whatever else is on our mind after a night of beers. 145:07 -END - Outro Best of Season 4. Enjoy the sounds of Season 4 plus a full-length version of Tony Doinks and the boys doing Billy Joel a'capella. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep31: King Poles Controls the Off-Season. Top Pick, Most Cash, Franchise QB.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2023 109:18

    Could Week 18 have gone any better? Bears end up with the #1 pick of the 2023 draft thanks to Lovie Smith's Texans stunning win over Indy. The Packers lose a shocker at home to Detroit to knock them out of the playoffs, while the Lions have to watch Seattle sneak into the number one seed thanks to a tiebreaker. The regular season is over, thank the sweet lord, and it's time to look to the off-season as well as glance at what is a pretty wide open playoff bracket. Rick Feelsmen pops by for his latest HOT picks (he's 7-2 over the last three weeks) as the boys project the playoff field, wrap up the first year of Eberflus/Poles and talk about initial thoughts about what to do with pick number one. 0:00 - 01:23 - Intro led by a voice Bill Doinks wish he had, John Legend 01:23 - 03:28 - What's On Tap Tonight? (a brief word from our sponsor (via Spotify)) 03:28 - 46:08 - Wrapping up the regular season, time for Poles to cook. The NFL runs through Chicago in the first time in forever and we couldn't be more here for it. We relish the demise of the Green Bay Packers and start thinking about what we'd like the Bears to do with pick #1. 46:08 - 73:35 - Hamm's N Bread. What are our playoff predictions? Rick Feelsmen and his scorching hot picks stops in. (a brief word from our sponsor (via Spotify)) 73:35 - 92:28 - Let's Wrap This M'Fer Up. Not much to talk about with the college football title game but we dive so deep into NFL teams looking for coaches named Harbaugh or Payton. 92:28 - END - Best of S4, to date. Almost 17 minutes in heaven. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep30: One (pointless) game to go. Wrapping up B1G football. Buffalo in our thoughts, obvs.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 120:16

    One (pointless?) game to go this weekend against the Vikings. To play Fields or to sit him out, that's one of the questions on our mind. We don't really acknowledge the Lions game because who cares. We, along with Bears Nation, are huge Lovie Smith fans this weekend as the Texans can gift wrap the top pick to Chicago, assuming the Bears don't light Minnesota up on Sunday for reasons unknown. We spray to all fields, including Joe Ratzinger, Kevin Warren, ping pong, an obscure Minneapolis law and of course our concern over Buffalo safety Damar Hamlin. Two episodes left in Season 4 after this one, lovebugs. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep29: Alive For The Top Pick. Dan Campbell Awaits. Xmas at Soldier Looked Cold.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2022 119:04

    After a loss to Josh Allen and the Bills, coupled with a Lovie Smith Texans W, with two games left the Bears are half a game out of a shot at the number one pick in the 2023 NFL draft. First, Dan Campbell and his considerable body awaits JF1 and the hapless Bears. We'll chat about things, including Pinocchio (again), our declining numbers in India, Dan Pompei's stupid weekly column and the whole process of rebuilding/soft-tanking. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep28: Josh Allen Stuffing Our Sacks on Xmas Eve. Fields Is The Future. Can We Sim To End of Season?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2022 111:26

    Justin Fields more than held his own against the 13-1 Philadelphia Eagles, throwing to a WR group who should probably not be in the league. He is and always has been the chosen one. Is there a button to sim to the end of the season? We'd like to press it. Alas, Josh Allen is coming to town on Christmas Eve to shove all sorts of things into and around our sacks as there are but three weeks left until a critical offseason for GM Ryan Poles. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep27: 2023 Fields > 2022 Hurts. Dan succumbs to a mock draft. Illini news galore.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 134:12

    The boys are well-rested after a bye week and they only have a few words to say about the latest Bears-Packers game. Dan flip flops for the first time regarding how the 2023 NFL Draft board is shaping up, which is shocking as a "not a big mock draft" guy. Jalen Hurts and the Eagles visit this weekend which gives us all a glimpse as to what Justin Fields is going to look like next year. Rick Feelsmen pops in with a new tune and lots of hot picks. Bowl season is upon us soon as the Illini, sans a defensive coordinator, gear up to face the devastated Mississippi State squad fresh off of the tragic loss of Mike Leach. Plus tons more. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep26: Did NYJ game really happen? Improving draft odds. Last dance for Rodgers?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 122:31

    Lots of surprises this episode as the boys do a little reversal of roles from time to time. Did the Jets game really happen? One of the boys might need to game explained to him, we shall see. Aaron Rodgers seems to be being chased out of GB by Packers' fans - will this be the last time he suits up at Soldier Field? Feel like we asked that same question last year. Plus college football's regular season has wrapped - how did the Illini and Gophers end up? Tons more, including new tunes courtesy of two Fans N Eggs. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep25: Put JF1 On Ice? Wilson Benched for Jets? Dan Smells Like a Turkey.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2022 121:57

    Welp, the homecoming to Georgia didn't quite go as planned for Justin Fields as he left with another loss and a painful left shoulder. Will he play this week? This year? Should he? Are we going to watch Bears-Jets if he isn't playing? So many questions this episode, including "Does Zero Doinks have a Wikipedia page and if not, why not?" The highlight of these Bears games is probably the Zero Doinks boys losing their cool over Dan Pompei's observations and seeing if Dan Doinks can guess Tweets correctly during "Keep an Eye on Dan." Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot picks of the week. Greasetank summarizes 2022's racing season in what may or may not be his last appearance of this year (we hope not). Plus tons more, including a Thanksgiving weekend filled with B1G rivalry games. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep24: Fields Coming Home to Ga. Keep an eye on Dan. B1G sadness.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2022 138:29

    Justin Fields was magic again last week versus Detroit but he can't play defense or special teams for the boys. Who really cares (besides Dan Wiederer), though, as this year continues to be about JF1's development, yes? Dan walks us through the streets of Atlanta which await a homecoming for native Georgian Justin Fields. Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank pop in for their weekly expertise plus tons more, including the return of "Keep an Eye on Dan." Oh yeah, and we need to talk a little about the Illini blowing their B1G West stranglehold. Gray Balls back soon - are both Dan and Bill all the way in? Father Randy may make another appearance here, as does the Cornish Hen. We have good reason to suggest that everyone should boycott FedEx. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep23: Fields Hath Risen. Dan Campbell Visiting. B1G Still in Reach for Illini.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2022 125:20

    Dan Doinks was in the house for JF1's ridiculous game against Miami. We promised to wait until the Jets game to announce whether we were all in or not - is it time? I think it might be time. Dan Campbell and his beautiful face come to town this week as the Bears try to get in the win column for the first time in awhile. But that's not the point, is it? Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank pop in for their takes on gambling and autosports. The Illini suffer a tough loss against Michigan State but will still be on track to take the B1G West with a win this weekend. Plus tons more per usual, including a new segment within a segment "Keep An Eye on Dan." --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep22: Mapletron In, Roquan Out. Fields Looks Good at Dallas. Here Comes Tua. Illini Two More For Title.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2022 144:40

    The NFL's annual swap meat saw the Bears being active, shipping Roquan out and the man Canadians call "Mapletron" in, along with some additional draft capital and a LB no one has heard of. Will Claypool be helpful or does he seem odd? Was it the right move to trade Ro? Plus a quick look at our thoughts on how JF1 looked against Dallas + Dan Doinks walks us through the red hot Miami squad who is visiting this weekend. Plus tons more, including chatter about the #13 Illini who are two wins away from clinching the B1G West. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep21: Bears > Patriots > Packers. Time to Pillage Jerry's World. Illini Supreme.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 66:26

    The 2022 Chicago Bears are the greatest football team anyone has ever laid eyes on. Matt Eberflus is better than Bill Belichick. Justin Fields has turned a corner and will be leading the Bears to glory even earlier than originally thought. The boys (one of whom was oddly not stationary during most of this episode) still can't believe what happened on Monday night in Foxboro. The Bears are back. The Illini are the best team in the B1G, if not the country. It's Football Town USA here on Zero Doinks. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep20: Hooks For Hands. Super Bowl XX Rematch. Illini Destined for CFB Playoffs.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2022 134:00

    We're as sick of thinking about Bears-Commanders as you are hearing about it so we keep it brief, outside of bringing you deeeeep inside our tailgate. Monday night football looms and a visit to New England may remind us all of how far we have to go to be relevant in the NFL once again. Dan talks Bill out of pivoting to an all-Illini podcast as the memory of U of I beating down Dan's Gophers still lives fresh in Bill's pea-sized brain. Plus tons more, including curiosity about an old nursery rhyme that seems quite creepy at the moment. Special visits from Rick Feelsmen (live-ish from Switzerland) and Greasetank Frank keeps us all informed about autosports. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep19: Feeling Good About Fields. Washington Coming Thursday. Vikings Recap. Illini v Gophers Duel.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2022 180:55

    What is wrong with the local Bears media? Bill Doinks falls into the trap of their odd takes after Justin Fields looked pretty good against the 4-1 Vikings. The Bears may have fallen short against Minny but that's not really the point this year, right? Washington comes to town on a short week and the boys will be live in the flesh at Soldier Field on Thursday for what might be the greatest evening of their lives. Tangents a'plenty this ep, including Bill's recap of the Chicago Marathon (special on-site interview by the one and only Rick Feelsmen during Hamm's N Spreads) and Grimace catches the boys' fancy again this week. Plus tons more, including a huge game between the Illini and Gophers this Saturday. Friendships might never be the same. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep18: Off to the Twin Cities. Electric gambling + fantasy picks. Illini winning the B1G West.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2022 112:42

    Let's shake off that Giants game and move onto the weird purple humans up north, shall we? We bring back an old purple friend a few times for this one, coincidentally, and talk about mostly non-Bears stuff this episode if we're being honest. Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank contribute their brilliance again this episode and Dan makes Bill laugh so hard he nearly spits out his beverage. Thank you to our sponsors, we love you, and thank you to our listeners, we couldn't live without you. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep17: Bonus post-Giants Ep. Bears Gonna Bears. Fields Is Going To Die, Isn't He?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2022 26:41

    We have no idea how this video thing works but we're giving it a whirl. I mean, we've heard of cameras but this is our Zero Doinks debut. Do you need to watch it on a particular app? No idea! Should we upload it to Youtube? Yeah we probably should! Anywho, Bears fall to 2-2 and we briefly discuss what most disgusts us about today's effort against the Giants. Enjoy Dan's face! --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep16: The Giants Stink, Right? Don't Let Rick Feelsmen Get Hot. Gophers + Illini Football Cruising.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022 132:33

    For what feels like the 10th straight year, the Bears play the Giants, this time in beautiful New Jersey. We'll get you all riled up about the big game as we still feel amazing about our 2-1 Bears and are still covered in Justin Fields optimism. We'll give you all the hottest fantasy picks, Rick Feelsmen will grace the show with his best bets of the weekend (he's coming off a 5-0-1 week ... do NOT let Rick get hot) plus tons more, including Grease Tank's racing tidbits and some B1G football talk. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep15 - Texans Post-Game Bonus Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2022 21:45

    The Bears are 2-1 and there's absolutely no red flags to concern ourselves with whatsoever. This might be the greatest rushing offense the league has ever seen in the history of pigskin. We definitely did not pick a specific game in which we are deciding the fate of Justin Fields as Bears QB, no, absolutely we did not do that around minute 14 or so of this bonus ep. Thank you Cairo Santos, Ro Smith and Khalil Herbert for getting us through this one. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep14: Neverending Story in Green Bay. Regroup for Texans Week. Pinocchio Talk.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022 138:56

    Stop me if you've heard this one before - the Bears went into Green Bay for a nationally-televised night game and they left with a loss, giving their fanbase an uneasy feeling and continued inferiority complex. The boys won't dwell on Sunday night's thrashing too much as it's Texans week which means the return of a bearded Lovie Smith. So much Pinocchio and donkey talk. We ask the questions you're dying to have answered. Intro. Thank you Bo Burnham for your inspiration for the intro song Kmet, starring Tony Doinks, Rick Feelsmen, Bill Doinks and Coach Cuse. What's On Tap Tonight. Is this the new Guy Fieri chat area? Paying Our Bills. Green Bay Review. We try not to dwell. Texans Preview. Lovie's back in town. Bears Fantasy Corner. Who are the Bears offensive weapons of choice this week? Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen (1-5) is back with a boatload of hot picks. Pinocchio ended up capturing our imagination in this segment. B1G Minute. Illini and Gophers appear the head of the class. Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank as only he can. Where Can You Find Us. Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. A touch of Toffees and White Sox. Gambling story for the ages. Lots of sound to close it out. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep13: Sunday Night Up Next Versus Mushroom Boy. Rick's Hot Picks. Gophers + Illini are B1G Giants.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2022 116:41

    The undefeated Chicago Bears head to Green Bay this Sunday night in front of a crowd of mostly ugly people and we can't wait to get into it. Will Coach Flus ever lose? Will Aaron Rodgers be wasted out of his gourd? How often does Matt LeFleur get his hair cut? I think it's time for the Bears to take the North and never give it back, don't you? Plus our HOT fantasy picks of the week, Rick Feelsmen's hot hot gambling picks of the week, our thoughts on the B1G and college football, Greasetank's take on autosports and tons more. 0:00 - 03:30 - Introduction including 670 The Score's Dan Bernstein and a new tune inspired by Phoebe Bridgers (s/o Daughter of Bill Doinks and Coach Cuse). 03:31 - 08:52 - What's on tap tonight? Guy Fieri got things off to a super weird start. 08:53 - 10:14 - How can you become the next Zero Doinks? 10:15 - 35:41 - Packers Preview. Dan Pompei still writes trash game reviews. Lots of priest talk here for some reason. How do we feel going into Sunday night? 35:42 - 43:31 - See Me After Class. This segment first aired in season three, it feels like an appropriate time to revisit one reason why Aaron Rodgers is such a weasel and why we dislike him so. Some of this sounds a bit outdated with the NFL protocols at the time but you get the point. 43:32 - 52:41 - Bears Fantasy Corner. John Lithgow gets us way off track. 52:42 - 1:17:12 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite gambling segment with resident shark Rick Feelsmen popping in for his three (or four?) hot picks during his segment within the segment, Hamm's N Spreads. 1:17:13 - 1:36:55 - The B1G Minute. The Big Ten clearly runs through Champaign this year. Sorry, Arby's, we didn't mean it. 1:36:56 - 1:41:24 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank gives us a lesson in autosports expertise. Save the date for his upcoming personal race! 1:41:25 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Mini hits of Toffees Corner and Hamms N Ted as soccer ramps back up (once the Queen gets buried) and baseball's pennant race hits a fever pitch. Lots of random sound to finish off the ep. Thanks for listening! --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep12: Bonus Bears (1-0) vs 49ers (0-1) Reaction Ep with an Elated Bill and Dan

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022 34:40

    The boys of Zero Doinks needed to immediately talk about the incredible Week 1 upset by our beloved Bears over the seven point favorite San Francisco 49ers. 16 wins away from perfection. Enjoy this bonus reaction episode. Bearssssss. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep11: Fields versus Lance. Teddy's Retiring. Rick's Hot Picks. Arlington Plans. Football is Back.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2022 134:08

    Finally, real football is here, and Dan & Bill Doinks are here to get weird with it. Are the boys still glowing from JF1's preseason performance against Cleveland? Any hot thoughts about the final 53 or depth chart? Sweaty Ted is retiring, hallelujah! So much hot content this ep, including the return of both Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank. 0:00 - 2:52 - Intro Song "Sunday I'm in Love" with Daughter of Bill Doinks. 2:52 - 5:13 - What's on tap tonight? 5:14 - 32:45 - Bears Roster Chit Chat. Wow, JF1 was hot during the last preseason game, huh? Lots of roster changes at the bottom of the 53. Depth chart thoughts, especially the o line. Ted Phillips and Arlington Heights chatter. 32:45 - 57:21 - 49ers Week 1 Preview. Dan Doinks takes us on a tour of San Francisco. Is Dan going to the game? What position would Jesus play? 57:21 - 1:05:15 - Bears Fantasy Corner. A fresh season of Dan and Bill giving their single best play for fantasy football. 1:05:15 - 1:35:01 - Hamm's N Bread. A look inside the odd mind of exclusive gambling shark + sharp Rick Feelsmen (he's not dead!). What does Vegas think about the Bears-49ers game? Any other games catch our eye? 1:35:01 - 1:37:24 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks? 1:37:24 - 1:52:39 - B1G Minute. Gophers and Illini are back in action. 1:52:39 - 1:57:11 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank shows his knowledge and grit regarding all things autosports. 1:57:11 - 1:57:48 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 1:57:48 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. The new home for Toffee's Corner and baseball talk and other musings. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep10: Dan's Back. Roquan's Playing. Hugh's Illini Debuting.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2022 93:12

    The boys wrap up their preseason slate of episodes with the return of Dan Doinks from Hawaii. How tan do we think his unmentionables are? Still pretty paste-y? Anywho, the Seahawks were no match for the Bears in preseason game two as they remain on top of the NFC North for a second-consecutive week. What are our feelings on Roquan ending his "hold-in" and playing out the final year of his rookie contract? Tons more, including the Big Ten Minute as Hugh Robertson and the Fighting Illini kick off their 2022 season this weekend versus Wyoming. We are so close to real football, baby. Plus we have a new Hawaiian business idea that is an absolute home run. 0:00 - 03:52 - Intro with new tune to deceased Fan N Egg Phil in Indiana, "Phil's In Heaven." Happy 40th birthday in the clouds. 03:52 - 09:47 - What's on tap tonight? 09:48 - 11:10 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks via Anchor? 11:10 - 41:06 - Bears Chitter Chatter. Ro Smith is back, somewhat reluctantly. Most of the Bears starters will be playing at least half of the final preseason game. What does Dan think about the likely Week 1 starting offensive line? Have the boys recovered from the release of BoPete Keyes? Other NFL thoughts, including Phil's boy Mitch. 41:06 - 41:43 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 41:43 - 65:06 - B1G Minute. Hugh Robertson's Illini have another Week 0 game, this time hosting Wyoming. Northwestern-Nebraska get it going. 65:06 - END - Let's wrap this M'Fer up. Everton bad? Manti Te'eo documentary opinions. Eating hot dogs in odd ways. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep9: Preseason Greatness vs KC. Thoughts on Everything New. Dan's On Holiday, Who Takes His Seat?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2022 77:09

    With Dan floating from Hawaiian isle to isle, it's the beautiful and talented Darren from Dublin taking his considerable seat this week, though you'll hear a splash of a sun-soaked Dan Doinks from time to time. We re-visit the Bears hot hot hot preseason debut versus the Chiefs. Which players stood out? Why did Eberflus look a little awkward on the sidelines? Is there tangible JF1 progress? Darren has a plan to overtake the Packers and gives his 10,000 mile view of what to expect out of the 2022 Bears. Some EPL talk as Villa stuck a sword in the heart of our Everton boys. Plus much much more, including a new tune about a LB needing some love. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep8: Matt Nagy is returning to town. Early camp angst.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 54:20

    The boys of Zero Doinks cannot believe the preseason hath arrived. It's August, it's football season, and wow does that make this podcast extraordinarily randy. Matt Nagy is soon to return to Soldier Field as a Chiefs assistant coach. Can't imagine his welcome will be warm. Plus camp is a week in - what are our expert observations based solely off of Twitter updates? Dan is going out of town - will he be able to gamble on the Toffees EPL debut this weekend? --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep7: Bears Hot or Not with the Ladies of Zero Doinks. It's Estrogen 'N Eggs.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2022 75:34

    The ladies of Zero Doinks are back as Jordan and Kristen Doinks return to the show for the first time since 2020. Hubba hubba. Seems like a perfect time for some Chicago Bears Hot or Not with these two foul-mouthed pirates, wouldn't you say? We think you're going to enjoy this. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep6: Eberflus is Naughty. Dips and D!cks. Tony La Russa is the Worst.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 89:20

    Eberflus is a bad boy, but will his roster's lack of overall talent be giving him a spanking come December? We talk about Flus's first experience with the squad, including one missed OTA practice, or what the Tribune's beat reporters describe as a "misstep by the regime." We also try to balance realism about the 2022 Bears while not trying to be too cynical since we're 40ish and crabby. Grease Tank pops in for some "Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks" plus Dan might be running a brothel in his attic. 0:00 - 01:40 - Intro with a small song addition. 01:40 - 04:05 - What's on tap tonight? 04:05 - 49:12 - Bears chitter chatter. Flus is so naughty. The dudes looked red hot at the Bears gala (did you see Pablo? Hubba hubba). JF1 is a baseball star and hopefully a football one. We love the Bears but it's okay to admit they might stink this year. Dan has weird stuff going on in his attic. 49:12 - 50:32 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks? 50:32 - 56:49 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Grease Tank gives us the latest hot hot autosports news. 56:49 - 57:26 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 57:26 - 86:54 - Let's wrap this m'fer up. Tony La Russa is the worst. 86:54 - END - random sounds --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep5: Bonus Memorial Day Weekend Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks For Your Autosporting Pleasure

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2022 10:28

    Memorial Day weekend certainly should be used to honor the brave souls who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country, that is an absolute given. It is also a perfect time to prep the loyal listeners of Zero Doinks for what is traditionally the biggest weekend in autosports. Grease Tank is the guy for the job, as always, and Rick Feelsmen might be lost in an East Chicago casino somewhere, hard to say. Enjoy your weekend, everyone, and remember those who have gone before us so idiots like Bill and Dan Doinks can blabber on like a couple of dipsticks. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep4: Bonus Episode. Premier League. Everton Fighting For their Lives. ZD Live (Kinda) on the Scene.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 45:56

    The newly-adopted official Premier League team of Zero Doinks, Everton, is on the brink of relegation. A huge matchup with Crystal Palace is happening and Zero Doinks is (kind of) on the scene to see what the Toffee's fate will be. Special guests Rick Feelsmen, Mike from England + Darren from Dublin join Bill and Dan Doinks to see if Everton fans will be excited or horrified after today's bout. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep3: 17-0 Season Incoming. A Visit From Eggs Past.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2022 90:10

    The 2022 schedule is out and things are red hot in Dan's trousers. We take a look at how the Bears will run through this year's slate and highlight some dates that tickle our fancy. Plus Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks is back for another rousing update from Greasetank Frank (RIP to Rick who is vacationing without his thumbs). A few other surprises, per usual. Thanks for listening, we love you. 0:00 - 04:56 - A smattering of predictions from the Fans N Eggs crew (thank you's to The Wayouts and of course our Eggs: Phil in Indiana, TY in Ontario, Frank in Ohio, Mark in Alabama, Marcell in Minneapolis, Darren in Dublin) 04:56 - 07:56 - What's on tap tonight? 07:56 - 62:01 - Bizarre analysis of the newly-released 2022 Bears schedule. What do we think the final record will be? Does Poles need to carve out room at Halas Hall for Super Bowl trophy number two? 62:01 - 63:23 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 63:23 - 67:19 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks with Greasetank Frank. 67:19 - 67:56 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 67:56 - 88:59 - Outro weirdness, don't even remember what we were rambling about here. 88:59 - END - Bonus sound. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep2: King Poles First Draft. So Many Trades. Dipsticks + Dipsh!ts plus a New Tune

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2022 143:26

    King Poles sat on his drafting throne for the first time as Chicago Bears GM extraordinare and who did he find? Eleven new players plus an ungodly amount of undrafted free agents. With their seconds of research, the boys of Zero Doinks react to all of the new Bears as only they can. Plenty of special guests this episode, including the incomparable Rick Feelsmen PLUS Greasetank Frank who is starring in a brand new segment debuting this episode. Thanks for listening, you're welcome for the weirdness and we apologize, especially for ALF talk. 0:00 - 03:49 - Intro with new song "Elderly Farts" starring Bill Doinks and the professional editing skills of Coach Cuse (compliments to Pearl Jam) 03:49 - 05:46 - What's on tap tonight? 05:46 - 67:26 - Bears and NFL draft talk. What do we think of Ryan Poles's first draft overall? Analysis of each player in the unique style of Zero Doinks. How did the rest of the NFC North fare? (sound courtesy of Chicago Bears dot com, 69 Boyz and random creators of sound effects on YouTube).  67:26 - 68:48 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks? 68:48 - 88:36 - B1G Minute. Where did our Gophers and Illini end up? Plus a quick recap of Dave Madness (it's been awhile). 88:36 - 106:47 - Hamm's N Spreads. Resident whale, shark and sharp Rick Feelsmen pops in to give everyone his hot hot picks. Plus the segment within the segment within the segment, Toffee's Corner, celebrates a big Everton win. 106:47 - 111:41 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. New auto racing segment starring Greasetank Frank and a taste of Rick Feelsmen. 111:41 - 112:19 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 112:19 - 140:11 - Let's Wrap This M'Fer Up. Has Dan dipped into ALF yet? (sound courtesy of ALF) 140:11 - END - bonus sounds from the show. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S4Ep1: Bon Voyage Khalil Mack. Signings and Cuts in the Poles Era. Rodgers Is Back. Illini Four Seed in March Madness.

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2022 112:01

    If there was any doubt Ryan Poles was going to start slow, the trading of Khalil Mack and additional cutting of three bloated contracts shows otherwise. Welcome to the kick off show for Season 4 of Zero Doinks. We can't believe we haven't been imprisoned yet so consider everyone lucky I suppose. We'll discuss the quick start to free agency for Poles and the Bears as well as discuss our feelings about Mack now being a LA Charger. Lots of QB news throughout the league, including that idiot up north. With March Madness starting this week, you know resident whale, shark and sharp Rick Feelsmen has some hot hot picks for your consideration. How is Bill feeling about the chances for the #4 seed Fighting Illini? Are the boys getting together for some Friday madness? Plus tons more! 00:00 - 02:28 - Intro sound taking us back to S3 finale and a very special character that is mentioned frequently on Zero Doinks. Thank you to Coach Cuse for the fresh sound for the intro. 02:28 - 04:54 - What's on tap tonight? 04:54 - 48:22 - Bears and NFL Chitter Chatter. Khalil Mack has been traded. Goldman, Cohen, Danny T released. New GM Ryan Poles made his first signing in DT Larry Ogunjobi. So many holes to fill, so little time (that's what she said). QB chatter from around the league, including America's weird uncle Aaron Rodgers, new Broncos QB Russell Wilson, plus old flame Mitch Trubisky lands in the Steel City. Is Virginia okay? 48:22 - 74:53 - Hamm's N Bread. America's weirdest gambling segment featuring Hamm's N Spread, starring resident shark, sharp and whale Rick Feelsmen. So many NCAA wagers to consider for March Madness. The boys finish with the segment within the segment within the segment, Toffee's Corner, where Everton FC is lamented for their mediocrity. 74:53 - 76:16 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 76:16 - 89:29 - Big Ten Minute. Bill's Illini are a four seed, hoping to get back to the Sweet 16 for the first time in nearly 20 years. The B1G champs had an early B1G tournament exit but maybe that's a good thing? 89:29 - 109:44 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Did Gray Balls protect the crown? Hey, baseball is back, when will we start caring? How far are the Bulls going to make it in the NBA playoffs? An old fuzzy friend makes an appearance on Prime. 109:44 - END - Some sound nuggets. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep32: Season Finale. A New Ryan and Matt. Packers Are Dead. Super Bowl Preview. Lots of Guests.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2022 106:50

    The boys get together in person for the season finale of Zero Doinks's third year. Time flies when you're making jokes about Garfield's lasagna and John Wayne Gacy. From Ballydoyle's in Aurora comes Bill + Dan plus special guests galore as a new era of Bears football is soon on the horizon. No better way to end a season of Zero Doinks but with some hope, beer, new tunes and lots of immediately regrettable jokes. See you again in March, hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for giving us a shot. Special thanks: Bruce Springsteen for his inspiration for “Rick's on Fire,” Tony Doinks for his vocals at the end of said song, Coach Cuse for the music, Darren in Dublin for his closing tune, Greasetank Frank for letting us use his version of “Hurt,” Brad Swiggs for joining us, Brother Dave, Rick Feelsmen and Coach Cuse for their attendance, Ballydoyle's in Aurora for hosting us. 0:00 - 04:26 - Intro music, "Rick's On Fire," inspired by Bruce Springsteen, courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Tony Doinks. 04:26 - 06:25 - What's on tap? Where are we? Who are we with? 06:25 - 29:04 - Hires have been made. What do the boys think about new GM Matt Poles and head coach Ryan Eberflus? Dan did a spontaneous deep dive on Flubberbus's Wiki page which led to a conversation about cats and Hungarian gymnast Nadia Comaneci. Rick Feelsmen talks about what made him such a weapon in high school. Brother Dave discusses animals in his home. Lasagna talk. 29:04 - 49:52 - Justin Fields is Gold. What did the boys think about JF1's rookie year in general, using a half-baked scale that Bill thought of on the fly. Rick Feelsmen talks about his missing thumbs again. Who was the worst Bears QB of all time? How will new offensive coordinator Luke Getsy help Fields reach his potential? Special guest Brad Swiggs jumps in 37:30 to answer some hard-hitting and personal questions about his life. 49:52 - 70:01 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen gives us a live Hamm's N Spreads and provides his hottest three picks for Super Bowl Sunday. Toffee's Corner (around minute 61) takes all sorts of turns with Newcastle fan Brother Dave in the house (apologies for the echos, it gets better the rest of the show). 70:01 - 82:02 - B1G Minute. March Madness is getting closer, how high can the Illini's seed rise and will the Gophers be joining them in the Field of 68? If the teams of choice for Coach Cuse and Brother Dave don't make the tourney, whose bandwagon will allow them to jump on? 82:02 - 92:06 - Gray Balls. The boys take advantage of having Coach Cuse, GM and coach of the defending champion 35+ intramural basketball team, in their presence. But the real highlight is when Rick Feelsmen presents Coach Cuse with a life-changing gift. 92:06 - 99:36 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. The Hamm's were a'slappin', don't really remember where we went here. Thank you to our guests and loyal listeners! 99:36 - END - Mash-up of Rick Feelsmen's best quotes from S3. Darren from Dublin wraps up the season with a new take on a great tune. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep31: Ryan Pace Fired. Matt Nagy Gone. Ted Phillips ... Has Nudes?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2022 65:18

    Black Monday struck hard at Halas Hall as not only was Chicago HC Matt Nagy canned, the seven-year reign of GM Ryan Pace was also deleted like a rack of Hamm's. Yet, somehow, Ted Phillips remains a trusted soldier of the McCaskey family despite years of uselessness. The boys of Zero Doinks talk all about their Bears feelings and discuss possible targets for both GM and head coach. This was a good day, Bears fans. Imperfect, but good. Also, Ryan Pace probably traded five more draft picks on his way out the door. 0:00 - 04:03 - a symphony of sound + what's on tap tonight 04:03 - 59:36 - The boys talk about their experiences of Black Monday. How surprised were they with Ryan Pace getting fired on top of Matt Nagy's corpse? What are their immediate reactions to the George McCaskey press conference and the Chicago media's hard-slapping questions? Do the boys have any favorites for GM or coach? 59:36 - END - lots of sound for your ears to (hopefully) enjoy --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep30: LOL Mike Glennon. Season Is Almost Over. Monk Season Finale(s) Review.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2022 95:52

    The season is, mercifully, nearly over, and the Bears have put themselves in position to tie for second in the NFC North with a Week 18 win at Minnesota. But who cares, they're 6-10, and the only good news is there are a few teams more dreadful than them, including the New York Giants. Wow, they are terrible. Reports of Matt Nagy's imminent demise are now out there from reputable humans. But how dark and deep will Black Monday be next week? That's for next week's episode to hammer out. This week? We review the two part season finale of Monk, among other items of extreme interest to our listeners. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep29: BDN Beats Seattle. Giants Coming to Town, Who Cares. Covid is Everywhere.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2021 74:17

    Who thought they'd have the opportunity to see BDN lead the Bears to a victory in 2021? Not Dan and Bill Doinks, that's for sure. Not sure what that says about the Seahawks to be honest but hey, who cares. Nothing changes about the future of this squad, though, as we are two weeks from (hopefully) major changes. 0:00 - 01:23 - Intro 01:23 - 02:17 - What's on tap tonight? 02:17 - 28:37 - Seahawks Review, Giants Preview. Would be so great to go against Mike Glennon this weekend, wouldn't it? 28:37 - 37:50 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Dan takes the lead! 37:50 - 62:41 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen drops in for his latest hot hot picks and the boys get ready for Everton-Newcastle, assuming it actually is played this week. Ninja turtles. 62:41 - 63:27 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 63:27 - 72:23 - Let's Wrap This M'Fer Up. 72:23 - END - Outro tunes and drops. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep28: Loss To Kirk on MNF. Brad Swiggs Visits. Merry Christmas Tunes.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2021 150:27

    What a shocker, Matt Nagy was fully in charge and the Bears lost. Somehow Chicago manages to lose despite giving up less than 100 yards passing to Kirk Cousins and the Minnesota Vikings. This is so sad. Celebrity journo Brad Swiggs pays the boys a visit this week plus tons more, including Rick Feelsmen and his hot pick(s) and who knows what else. Merry Christmas! Enjoy the two new tunes! 0:00 - 04:08 - New Christmas tune and intro 04:08 - 30:37 - Swiggs Time. Interview with journalistic expert Brad Swiggs. 30:37 - 81:47 - Review and Preview. The boys talk about Bears-Vikings and look ahead to Bears-Seahawks. 81:47 - 97:02 - Bears Fantasy Corner. John Lithgow was shirtless in the latest Dexter. 97:02 - 109:23 Hamms N Bread. Sports gambling talk. Toffees Corner. Rick Feelsmen. 109:23 - 110:10 - Where can you find us online 110:10 - 122:53 - Gray Balls. The greatest intramural squad ever built. 122:53 - 129:31 - Outro words. 129:31 - END - Cold close by friend of the program Tony Doinks. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep27: Wow, Packers Beat The Bears Again, What A Surprise. Happy Holidays.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2021 95:44

    The Packers beat the Bears for like the 900th time out of the last 969 games. Who cares, why is Matt Nagy still the coach. Can we just fast forward to 2022. JF1 was back so that was fun at times. Still too many rookie mistakes but hey, he gives Chicago reason for hope. We go off the rails a few times this episode so if you're looking for hard-hitting analysis, probably not going to find it here. But that's pretty much how we roll. 0:00 - 03:37 - Intro. Bringing back Oh Sweaty Ted this holiday season. 03:37 - 05:06 - What's on tap tonight? 05:06 - 10:51 - Justin Fields is Gold. JF1 returned from his rib injury tonight and had some flashes. 10:51 - 44:04 - Packers-Bears review, Vikings-Bears preview. The boys review the pilot episode of Monk and ask questions about intimate moments. 44:04 - 50:04 - Bears Fantasy Corner. The boys pick two can't miss Bears offensive players to add to your Same Game Parlays next Monday night. 50:04 - 64:17 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen pops in for god knows what during Hamms N Spreads and the boys talk about another team that can't win during Toffees Corner. 64:17 - 65:04 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 65:04 - 73:06 - Gray Balls. The boys are well above .500 in their 35+ intramural basketball league. Will the Gray Balls ever lose again? Doubtful. 73:06 - 90:22 - Let's wrap this m'fer up. How did Dan's season wrap up, coaching second grade girls hoops? How many weeks left for Bill Doinks? Plus other musings, including a shout-out to a listener for a great tweet tonight. 90:22 - END - Musical stylings for your ears. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

    S3Ep26: What A Waste Of Time. Nice Ints, Andy. Packers Up Next. First Gray Balls Loss.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2021 133:35

    We'll be honest, we don't spend much of this episode talking about the Cardinals-Bears game. Nor do we do a deep dive into Bears-Packers. So what do we spend over two hours talking about? Welp, I hope your name isn't Brad Biggs because you might be in the crosshairs juuuuust a bit. Plus lots of other stuff, including a B1G team in the football playoffs, Gray Balls suffering their first defeat, and tons more. Get better soon, JF1, otherwise why flip on the boob tube. 00:00 - 01:44 - Intro needing Pepto 01:44 - 03:47 - What's on tap tonight? 03:47 - 52:13 - Bears-Cards review, Bears-Packers preview, other nonsense. Lots of Brad Biggs talk here, going to be honest with you. Dan Pompei, you're such a weird. Vikings are sadder than the Bears, in many ways. We are all Monk now. 52:13 - 62:22 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Who should you probably not take in your Same Game Parlays this weekend. 62:22 - 87:23 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen 2.0 (12-15) pops in for his hot hot picks this week, we look at lines that catch our eye and Toffees Corner vists the greatest soccer team to ever grace the pitch, Everton. 87:23 - 88:10 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 88:10 - 107:28 - B1G Minute. Where are the Gophers going bowling? What did we think of Michigan's thumping of Iowa football and entry into the college playoff? How are the Illini and Gophers doing in B1G hoops thus far? 107:28 - 115:33 - Gray Balls. The now 2-1 Gray Balls 35+ intramural hoops squad tries to bounce back after a tough loss. 115:23 - 132:39 - Let's wrap this m'fer up. Bulls talk. Our youth coaching careers might be coming to a thankful end in the next couple of weeks. 132:39 - END - Lots of tunes to hit your ears. --- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:

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