Podcasts about zero doinks

What does the Chicago Bears 2025 schedule release have in common with Dave Coulier in a movie theater? Find out on this episode of Zero Doinks as the boys tick through all 17 obvious wins, starting with Monday Night Football in Week 1 against JJ McCarthy and the Vikings. Thanks for listening, we love you and want to bathe you.

Zero Doinks is back for Season 7 and we have never been more full of life. So much has changed since S6 ended with the golden foot of Cairo Santos breaking the hearts of annoying Packers fans. The dream head coach candidate surprisingly said yes to Kevin Warren and the Bears braintrust. Ben Johnson's coaching staff is expensive and impressive. Virginia McCaskey is dead. Dick Jauron? Also dead. But not Zero Doinks. We've never felt more alive. This will not fail.

Will the Bears losing streak end in 2024? We doubt it. Tonight we wrap up the 2024 version of Zero Doinks and will return after a new coach (and GM?) is hired. But there's a lot to get to, just maybe not a lot of it revolving around the Bears. We love you, we want your Christmas to be so merry and bright. Go Bears, eventually. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears are riding high and taking a three game winning streak into the bye. The boys of Zero Doinks are taking a mini-bye with them, with the voice of Bill Doinks guiding you home this week. Rick tries to stay hot, the B1G has huge games ahead and we all get to sit back and watch one, and hopefully two, NFC North teams lose this weekend. Caleb is the greatest QB of all time. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

The Bears are back to .500 with no signs of ever going back under. Dan Doinks was on the field on Sunday pregame for the Rams game, and has stories for days about his experience. Thank god he and B are alive. There is no question the Bears are back, possibly all the way, after Sunday's win against the Rams, especially with the Red Rifle looming for his return to Soldier Field this weekend. We'll get you ready, as will the red hot 8-4 Zero Doinks sharp Rick Feelsmen, who is Feelsmen'ing himself after an incredible start to the year. Plus a little B1G talk and much more. #zerodoinks #rickfeelsmen #hamms #grover #goldencock #cornishhen #matteberflus #beefs #returnofbeefs #greasetank #davidross #ditka #coachq #philjackson #illini #illinois #b #flags #caleb #yosoycaleb #whiskeyglasses #calebpasses #thirddownshane #simone #andydalton --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Episode 4 of Hard Knocks is now out for our enjoyment and the boys of Zero Doinks break it down for you like only they can. Can HBO Max find other storylines besides Flus, Caleb and the Ferret King? Maybe. Kind of. We're almost living in a world where the football is real, and we're here to get you through the next few days. Plus a quick look at the B1G as the Illini and Gophers kick off this week. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

After a hiatus, the boys of Zero Doinks are back as the Bears begin camp in Lake Forest. Caleb looks amazing already and there is no chance our predictions of 11-12 Bears victories will fall short. Injuries are scarce, the vibes are hot and the Bears are all the way back. Dan expresses some nerves about the upcoming Hard Knocks season, of which we are planning immediate reaction ZD episodes. Dan Pompei of The Athletic hits our radar again after another weird article. Plus plans for 2024 Bears Fantasy Corner and highly-desired Bears weekly awards are previewed. Is Rick Feelsmen alive? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Caleb Williams is officially a Bear and he has already taken over the team and city. He's our weird QB and it is about time we have a dude who does not give a F. With his new WR weapon Rome Odunze, clearly this new era cannot and will not fail. The boys of Zero Doinks chat through each of the five new Bears rookies, with a hat tip to The Average Cheese's Peter Jones and his draft guide, as well as the return of Bill's Comps. Plus tons more, including where do the Bears still need to plug some roster holes, what do we make of the stadium plans, and more. It is our time. Maybe. Finally. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Bonus ep of Zero Doinks as the Illini march into Boston for their first Sweet 16 appearance in nearly 20 years. Will Bill Doinks be there in the flesh to witness a potential run to the Final 4? Odds are decent. Plus Dan Doinks pops his head in from Florida to give his take on the Justin Fields trade and the Bears current state of being all the way back. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

After nearly a full calendar year of losses, the Bears have finally won a football game and the boys of Zero Doinks don't know what to do with themselves. Is this sustainable? Did Dick Butkus have to die for our sins? We discuss the beauty in Washington and look ahead to the Vikings coming to town on Sunday for what could lead to an actual winning streak. Plus tons more, including Rick Feelsmen's hot picks, an actual minute spent on the Big 10 and surprises left and right. Two new tunes as well. 0:00 - 03:07 - Apologies to Taylor Swift for this one. 03:07 - 05:49 - What's on tap tonight? 05:49 - 32:18 - Bears-Washington and Week 5 Review. 32:18 - 46:30 - Bears-Vikings Preview. 46:30 - 71:18 - Hamm's N Bread. America's Favorite Gambling Segment. 71:18 - 80:13 - Bears Fantasy Corner. 80:13 - 82:36 - B1G Minute. 82:36 - 83:29 - Find us on Cameo. 83:29 - 95:38 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. 95:38 - END - Apologies to Dashboard Confessional. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Draft week is finally here. The boys of Zero Doinks cannot stand mock drafts, as you may or may not know, but in order to understand the want to do such things, one must at some point participate. Dan and Bill go through the Bears picks as if they're a drunk Ryan Poles and the results are .... not amazing. Who do we want the Bears to actually take? Which rumors should be believed? Will Ryan Poles do enough to protect Justin Fields or will this be another middling season? Plus the boys dive into the breaking news of Aaron Rodgers finally being traded to the Jets. The king is dead, at long last. What does that do for Chicago's odds in 2023 and beyond? Plus tons more, including odd angles regarding the Mario Brothers movie, future Dave Madness locations, Tucker Carlson's demise and more. 0:00 - 02:25 - Our version of "Better Man," with a Bears twist, per usual. Apologies to Eddie Vedder. 02:25 - 04:51 - What's on tap tonight and why is Dan obsessed with Brooks Brothers? 04:51 - 72:58 - Bears Pre-Draft. We hate mocks but we do a Bears mock. Poles has a tough call to make with #9, doesn't he? If the Bears don't address OL or DL during round 1, how are we all going to feel as our heads hit the pillow on Thursday night? What's the deal with the beef between Windy City Gridiron's Jacob Infante and Dan Doinks? 72:58 - 107:31 - Rodgers is Dead. The Packers can no longer kick the Bears around with Aaron Rodgers at the helm. Are we okay with the trade results between GB and NY? How do we feel about divisional odds now that Rodgers is gone? 107:31 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. We talk way too much about Mario Brothers, including toeing our line between amime and the dark web. Dave Madness recap and projections. We love you, thanks for listening. Check out our new album on Spotify --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/zerodoinks/support

Season five of Zero Doinks is underway and the Bears are so back. We dive into the huge trade of the number one pick to Carolina for a haul that includes WR DJ Moore. Should we apologize for our level of arousal? What do we want to see at pick nine, now? SO many picks. But that's not even the news of the day, now that free agency is wet and wild and GM Ryan Poles has struck on (at least) three new starters during day one. What are the biggest remaining needs? Who's left out there? What are our NFC North rivals up to? How annoying is Aaron Rodgers? Plus tons more, including March Madness chatter with our tradition of Dave Madness arriving this week. Greasetank Frank pops in for an autosports update during his Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks segment. 0:00 - 2:39 - Intro sound, including a beautiful song by Rick Feelsmen (inspired by The Beatles) and a brief song nugget by Bill Doinks (thanks, Bee-Gees) 2:39 - 9:46 - What's on tap tonight. We try to wrap our minds around our new AI-generated logo. 9:46 - 41:45 - Bears Trade #1. What do the boys think about Ryan Poles's trade of the top pick in the 2023 NFL draft? DJ Moore opinions, future draft ideas at number nine and beyond, etc. 41:45 - 74:18 - Free agency. Day one of free agency has wrapped and the Bears have three, maybe four, new starters. Who is left, what are our rivals doing, what's wrong with Aaron Rodgers. 74:18 - 96:26 - B1G Minute/March Madness. We are days away from the 2023 NCAA tourney kicking off. How does Bill feel about his Illini? Who are our picks to click? How many beers will be consumed at Dave Madness? 96:26 - 111:25 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank takes us around the world of autosports. 111:25 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Baseball, Toffee, Apple TV talk. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

These 20 minutes will tell you all you need to know about the boys of Zero Doinks and their special guests. You will hear the voices and inappropriate nature of Dan and Bill Doinks plus Rick Feelsmen, Coach Cuse, Greasetank Frank and Darren from Dublin. Enjoy the best moments from all 32 episodes of Season 4 of Zero Doinks. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The NFL season has come to an end and so shall Season 4 of Zero Doinks, but not before an explosive season finale. Rick Feelsmen and Coach Cuse join Dan and Bill Doinks in a special subterranean location in the suburbs of Chicago and a lot of ground is covered and Hamm's are consumed. Will additional special guests adorn your ears? A new musical tune? Jump in below to find out. 0:00 - 01:42 - Intro, including a taste of the Doinks boys honoring a classic Billy Joel tune. 01:42 - 03:32 - What's on tap tonight? 03:32 - 41:33 - Super Bowl review, Bears off-season preview. The Bears are on the clock, can you believe it? But first we'll wrap up some Super Bowl thoughts. Is this the biggest off-season in Bears history? We sure think so. Plus "Keep an Eye on Dan" makes its final appearance of the season, and Rick has something up his sleeve for Dan Doinks. A voice from the S4 season debut pops in late. 41:33 - 78:46 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite gambling segment takes its usual twists and turns, as Rick Feelsmen gives us all a live version of his weekly award-winning segment "Hamm's N Spreads." Rick received his reward for his S4 contributions and a very naughty man joins us from overseas. What are the boys going to gamble on during the offseason? They have an idea or two. 78:46 -99:32 - B1G Minute. Consider this a March Madness preview. Which of our beloved teams are going to go dancing? Where's the party going to be this year and do we even want our squads playing during it? Plus what in the world is TT Elite and why are we addicted so quickly? 99:32 - 112:24 - Gray Balls. General Manager and small forward/Coach Cuse gets grilled on the odds of our 35+ intramural basketball team's chances in this year's playoffs. The gifts keep flowing as Coach Cuse accepts a token of our appreciation for putting together a championship squad. 112:24 - 128:35 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank is back as autosport season hath arrived. Whether you are an expert or a novice, let Greasetank guide you through Indycar, Nascar and Formula 1. You won't regret a minute. 128:35 - 145:07 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Let's ignore baseball for the moment because who cares. Everton is still playing. Rick has an answer for the unwelcomed UFOs. Plus whatever else is on our mind after a night of beers. 145:07 -END - Outro Best of Season 4. Enjoy the sounds of Season 4 plus a full-length version of Tony Doinks and the boys doing Billy Joel a'capella. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Welp, the homecoming to Georgia didn't quite go as planned for Justin Fields as he left with another loss and a painful left shoulder. Will he play this week? This year? Should he? Are we going to watch Bears-Jets if he isn't playing? So many questions this episode, including "Does Zero Doinks have a Wikipedia page and if not, why not?" The highlight of these Bears games is probably the Zero Doinks boys losing their cool over Dan Pompei's observations and seeing if Dan Doinks can guess Tweets correctly during "Keep an Eye on Dan." Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot picks of the week. Greasetank summarizes 2022's racing season in what may or may not be his last appearance of this year (we hope not). Plus tons more, including a Thanksgiving weekend filled with B1G rivalry games. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The 2022 Chicago Bears are the greatest football team anyone has ever laid eyes on. Matt Eberflus is better than Bill Belichick. Justin Fields has turned a corner and will be leading the Bears to glory even earlier than originally thought. The boys (one of whom was oddly not stationary during most of this episode) still can't believe what happened on Monday night in Foxboro. The Bears are back. The Illini are the best team in the B1G, if not the country. It's Football Town USA here on Zero Doinks. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

We have no idea how this video thing works but we're giving it a whirl. I mean, we've heard of cameras but this is our Zero Doinks debut. Do you need to watch it on a particular app? No idea! Should we upload it to Youtube? Yeah we probably should! Anywho, Bears fall to 2-2 and we briefly discuss what most disgusts us about today's effort against the Giants. Enjoy Dan's face! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The undefeated Chicago Bears head to Green Bay this Sunday night in front of a crowd of mostly ugly people and we can't wait to get into it. Will Coach Flus ever lose? Will Aaron Rodgers be wasted out of his gourd? How often does Matt LeFleur get his hair cut? I think it's time for the Bears to take the North and never give it back, don't you? Plus our HOT fantasy picks of the week, Rick Feelsmen's hot hot gambling picks of the week, our thoughts on the B1G and college football, Greasetank's take on autosports and tons more. 0:00 - 03:30 - Introduction including 670 The Score's Dan Bernstein and a new tune inspired by Phoebe Bridgers (s/o Daughter of Bill Doinks and Coach Cuse). 03:31 - 08:52 - What's on tap tonight? Guy Fieri got things off to a super weird start. 08:53 - 10:14 - How can you become the next Zero Doinks? 10:15 - 35:41 - Packers Preview. Dan Pompei still writes trash game reviews. Lots of priest talk here for some reason. How do we feel going into Sunday night? 35:42 - 43:31 - See Me After Class. This segment first aired in season three, it feels like an appropriate time to revisit one reason why Aaron Rodgers is such a weasel and why we dislike him so. Some of this sounds a bit outdated with the NFL protocols at the time but you get the point. 43:32 - 52:41 - Bears Fantasy Corner. John Lithgow gets us way off track. 52:42 - 1:17:12 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite gambling segment with resident shark Rick Feelsmen popping in for his three (or four?) hot picks during his segment within the segment, Hamm's N Spreads. 1:17:13 - 1:36:55 - The B1G Minute. The Big Ten clearly runs through Champaign this year. Sorry, Arby's, we didn't mean it. 1:36:56 - 1:41:24 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank gives us a lesson in autosports expertise. Save the date for his upcoming personal race! 1:41:25 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Mini hits of Toffees Corner and Hamms N Ted as soccer ramps back up (once the Queen gets buried) and baseball's pennant race hits a fever pitch. Lots of random sound to finish off the ep. Thanks for listening! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks needed to immediately talk about the incredible Week 1 upset by our beloved Bears over the seven point favorite San Francisco 49ers. 16 wins away from perfection. Enjoy this bonus reaction episode. Bearssssss. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Finally, real football is here, and Dan & Bill Doinks are here to get weird with it. Are the boys still glowing from JF1's preseason performance against Cleveland? Any hot thoughts about the final 53 or depth chart? Sweaty Ted is retiring, hallelujah! So much hot content this ep, including the return of both Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank. 0:00 - 2:52 - Intro Song "Sunday I'm in Love" with Daughter of Bill Doinks. 2:52 - 5:13 - What's on tap tonight? 5:14 - 32:45 - Bears Roster Chit Chat. Wow, JF1 was hot during the last preseason game, huh? Lots of roster changes at the bottom of the 53. Depth chart thoughts, especially the o line. Ted Phillips and Arlington Heights chatter. 32:45 - 57:21 - 49ers Week 1 Preview. Dan Doinks takes us on a tour of San Francisco. Is Dan going to the game? What position would Jesus play? 57:21 - 1:05:15 - Bears Fantasy Corner. A fresh season of Dan and Bill giving their single best play for fantasy football. 1:05:15 - 1:35:01 - Hamm's N Bread. A look inside the odd mind of exclusive gambling shark + sharp Rick Feelsmen (he's not dead!). What does Vegas think about the Bears-49ers game? Any other games catch our eye? 1:35:01 - 1:37:24 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks? 1:37:24 - 1:52:39 - B1G Minute. Gophers and Illini are back in action. 1:52:39 - 1:57:11 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Greasetank Frank shows his knowledge and grit regarding all things autosports. 1:57:11 - 1:57:48 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 1:57:48 - END - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. The new home for Toffee's Corner and baseball talk and other musings. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys wrap up their preseason slate of episodes with the return of Dan Doinks from Hawaii. How tan do we think his unmentionables are? Still pretty paste-y? Anywho, the Seahawks were no match for the Bears in preseason game two as they remain on top of the NFC North for a second-consecutive week. What are our feelings on Roquan ending his "hold-in" and playing out the final year of his rookie contract? Tons more, including the Big Ten Minute as Hugh Robertson and the Fighting Illini kick off their 2022 season this weekend versus Wyoming. We are so close to real football, baby. Plus we have a new Hawaiian business idea that is an absolute home run. 0:00 - 03:52 - Intro with new tune to deceased Fan N Egg Phil in Indiana, "Phil's In Heaven." Happy 40th birthday in the clouds. 03:52 - 09:47 - What's on tap tonight? 09:48 - 11:10 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks via Anchor? 11:10 - 41:06 - Bears Chitter Chatter. Ro Smith is back, somewhat reluctantly. Most of the Bears starters will be playing at least half of the final preseason game. What does Dan think about the likely Week 1 starting offensive line? Have the boys recovered from the release of BoPete Keyes? Other NFL thoughts, including Phil's boy Mitch. 41:06 - 41:43 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 41:43 - 65:06 - B1G Minute. Hugh Robertson's Illini have another Week 0 game, this time hosting Wyoming. Northwestern-Nebraska get it going. 65:06 - END - Let's wrap this M'Fer up. Everton bad? Manti Te'eo documentary opinions. Eating hot dogs in odd ways. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks cannot believe the preseason hath arrived. It's August, it's football season, and wow does that make this podcast extraordinarily randy. Matt Nagy is soon to return to Soldier Field as a Chiefs assistant coach. Can't imagine his welcome will be warm. Plus camp is a week in - what are our expert observations based solely off of Twitter updates? Dan is going out of town - will he be able to gamble on the Toffees EPL debut this weekend? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The ladies of Zero Doinks are back as Jordan and Kristen Doinks return to the show for the first time since 2020. Hubba hubba. Seems like a perfect time for some Chicago Bears Hot or Not with these two foul-mouthed pirates, wouldn't you say? We think you're going to enjoy this. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The three of us talk Bears and Packers with our friends from Zero Doinks. Bill wants to see Adrian Peterson punch children, and Dan, even in the off-season, may be dead inside. Is Everton the EPL version of the Bears? This and more in Episode 87. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/avgcheese/message

Eberflus is a bad boy, but will his roster's lack of overall talent be giving him a spanking come December? We talk about Flus's first experience with the squad, including one missed OTA practice, or what the Tribune's beat reporters describe as a "misstep by the regime." We also try to balance realism about the 2022 Bears while not trying to be too cynical since we're 40ish and crabby. Grease Tank pops in for some "Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks" plus Dan might be running a brothel in his attic. 0:00 - 01:40 - Intro with a small song addition. 01:40 - 04:05 - What's on tap tonight? 04:05 - 49:12 - Bears chitter chatter. Flus is so naughty. The dudes looked red hot at the Bears gala (did you see Pablo? Hubba hubba). JF1 is a baseball star and hopefully a football one. We love the Bears but it's okay to admit they might stink this year. Dan has weird stuff going on in his attic. 49:12 - 50:32 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks? 50:32 - 56:49 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. Grease Tank gives us the latest hot hot autosports news. 56:49 - 57:26 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 57:26 - 86:54 - Let's wrap this m'fer up. Tony La Russa is the worst. 86:54 - END - random sounds --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Memorial Day weekend certainly should be used to honor the brave souls who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country, that is an absolute given. It is also a perfect time to prep the loyal listeners of Zero Doinks for what is traditionally the biggest weekend in autosports. Grease Tank is the guy for the job, as always, and Rick Feelsmen might be lost in an East Chicago casino somewhere, hard to say. Enjoy your weekend, everyone, and remember those who have gone before us so idiots like Bill and Dan Doinks can blabber on like a couple of dipsticks. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The newly-adopted official Premier League team of Zero Doinks, Everton, is on the brink of relegation. A huge matchup with Crystal Palace is happening and Zero Doinks is (kind of) on the scene to see what the Toffee's fate will be. Special guests Rick Feelsmen, Mike from England + Darren from Dublin join Bill and Dan Doinks to see if Everton fans will be excited or horrified after today's bout. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

By this point, you've heard probably a baker's dozen worth of schedule reviews and breakdowns maybe even including the one we did last week. But you've never heard anything like this. Kyle and Joey had the privilege of welcoming on Cam Ellis of 670 the Score and Dan and Bill Doinks of the Zero Doinks Podcast to break down the schedule with very specific game details entirely improvised! Hilarity, hijinks, and Halases ensue. How many wins will the Bears have? Will Lovie Smith still have a beard? How does one grapple with the weight of having a stained Walter Payton jersey? Those questions will either be answered or they won't be answered on this wacky and unique episode of Full Press Bears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

King Poles sat on his drafting throne for the first time as Chicago Bears GM extraordinare and who did he find? Eleven new players plus an ungodly amount of undrafted free agents. With their seconds of research, the boys of Zero Doinks react to all of the new Bears as only they can. Plenty of special guests this episode, including the incomparable Rick Feelsmen PLUS Greasetank Frank who is starring in a brand new segment debuting this episode. Thanks for listening, you're welcome for the weirdness and we apologize, especially for ALF talk. 0:00 - 03:49 - Intro with new song "Elderly Farts" starring Bill Doinks and the professional editing skills of Coach Cuse (compliments to Pearl Jam) 03:49 - 05:46 - What's on tap tonight? 05:46 - 67:26 - Bears and NFL draft talk. What do we think of Ryan Poles's first draft overall? Analysis of each player in the unique style of Zero Doinks. How did the rest of the NFC North fare? (sound courtesy of Chicago Bears dot com, 69 Boyz and random creators of sound effects on YouTube).  67:26 - 68:48 - How can you be the next Zero Doinks? 68:48 - 88:36 - B1G Minute. Where did our Gophers and Illini end up? Plus a quick recap of Dave Madness (it's been awhile). 88:36 - 106:47 - Hamm's N Spreads. Resident whale, shark and sharp Rick Feelsmen pops in to give everyone his hot hot picks. Plus the segment within the segment within the segment, Toffee's Corner, celebrates a big Everton win. 106:47 - 111:41 - Dipsh!ts and Dipsticks. New auto racing segment starring Greasetank Frank and a taste of Rick Feelsmen. 111:41 - 112:19 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 112:19 - 140:11 - Let's Wrap This M'Fer Up. Has Dan dipped into ALF yet? (sound courtesy of ALF) 140:11 - END - bonus sounds from the show. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

If there was any doubt Ryan Poles was going to start slow, the trading of Khalil Mack and additional cutting of three bloated contracts shows otherwise. Welcome to the kick off show for Season 4 of Zero Doinks. We can't believe we haven't been imprisoned yet so consider everyone lucky I suppose. We'll discuss the quick start to free agency for Poles and the Bears as well as discuss our feelings about Mack now being a LA Charger. Lots of QB news throughout the league, including that idiot up north. With March Madness starting this week, you know resident whale, shark and sharp Rick Feelsmen has some hot hot picks for your consideration. How is Bill feeling about the chances for the #4 seed Fighting Illini? Are the boys getting together for some Friday madness? Plus tons more! 00:00 - 02:28 - Intro sound taking us back to S3 finale and a very special character that is mentioned frequently on Zero Doinks. Thank you to Coach Cuse for the fresh sound for the intro. 02:28 - 04:54 - What's on tap tonight? 04:54 - 48:22 - Bears and NFL Chitter Chatter. Khalil Mack has been traded. Goldman, Cohen, Danny T released. New GM Ryan Poles made his first signing in DT Larry Ogunjobi. So many holes to fill, so little time (that's what she said). QB chatter from around the league, including America's weird uncle Aaron Rodgers, new Broncos QB Russell Wilson, plus old flame Mitch Trubisky lands in the Steel City. Is Virginia okay? 48:22 - 74:53 - Hamm's N Bread. America's weirdest gambling segment featuring Hamm's N Spread, starring resident shark, sharp and whale Rick Feelsmen. So many NCAA wagers to consider for March Madness. The boys finish with the segment within the segment within the segment, Toffee's Corner, where Everton FC is lamented for their mediocrity. 74:53 - 76:16 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 76:16 - 89:29 - Big Ten Minute. Bill's Illini are a four seed, hoping to get back to the Sweet 16 for the first time in nearly 20 years. The B1G champs had an early B1G tournament exit but maybe that's a good thing? 89:29 - 109:44 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Did Gray Balls protect the crown? Hey, baseball is back, when will we start caring? How far are the Bulls going to make it in the NBA playoffs? An old fuzzy friend makes an appearance on Prime. 109:44 - END - Some sound nuggets. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys get together in person for the season finale of Zero Doinks's third year. Time flies when you're making jokes about Garfield's lasagna and John Wayne Gacy. From Ballydoyle's in Aurora comes Bill + Dan plus special guests galore as a new era of Bears football is soon on the horizon. No better way to end a season of Zero Doinks but with some hope, beer, new tunes and lots of immediately regrettable jokes. See you again in March, hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for giving us a shot. Special thanks: Bruce Springsteen for his inspiration for “Rick's on Fire,” Tony Doinks for his vocals at the end of said song, Coach Cuse for the music, Darren in Dublin for his closing tune, Greasetank Frank for letting us use his version of “Hurt,” Brad Swiggs for joining us, Brother Dave, Rick Feelsmen and Coach Cuse for their attendance, Ballydoyle's in Aurora for hosting us. 0:00 - 04:26 - Intro music, "Rick's On Fire," inspired by Bruce Springsteen, courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Tony Doinks. 04:26 - 06:25 - What's on tap? Where are we? Who are we with? 06:25 - 29:04 - Hires have been made. What do the boys think about new GM Matt Poles and head coach Ryan Eberflus? Dan did a spontaneous deep dive on Flubberbus's Wiki page which led to a conversation about cats and Hungarian gymnast Nadia Comaneci. Rick Feelsmen talks about what made him such a weapon in high school. Brother Dave discusses animals in his home. Lasagna talk. 29:04 - 49:52 - Justin Fields is Gold. What did the boys think about JF1's rookie year in general, using a half-baked scale that Bill thought of on the fly. Rick Feelsmen talks about his missing thumbs again. Who was the worst Bears QB of all time? How will new offensive coordinator Luke Getsy help Fields reach his potential? Special guest Brad Swiggs jumps in 37:30 to answer some hard-hitting and personal questions about his life. 49:52 - 70:01 - Hamm's N Bread. Rick Feelsmen gives us a live Hamm's N Spreads and provides his hottest three picks for Super Bowl Sunday. Toffee's Corner (around minute 61) takes all sorts of turns with Newcastle fan Brother Dave in the house (apologies for the echos, it gets better the rest of the show). 70:01 - 82:02 - B1G Minute. March Madness is getting closer, how high can the Illini's seed rise and will the Gophers be joining them in the Field of 68? If the teams of choice for Coach Cuse and Brother Dave don't make the tourney, whose bandwagon will allow them to jump on? 82:02 - 92:06 - Gray Balls. The boys take advantage of having Coach Cuse, GM and coach of the defending champion 35+ intramural basketball team, in their presence. But the real highlight is when Rick Feelsmen presents Coach Cuse with a life-changing gift. 92:06 - 99:36 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. The Hamm's were a'slappin', don't really remember where we went here. Thank you to our guests and loyal listeners! 99:36 - END - Mash-up of Rick Feelsmen's best quotes from S3. Darren from Dublin wraps up the season with a new take on a great tune. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Black Monday struck hard at Halas Hall as not only was Chicago HC Matt Nagy canned, the seven-year reign of GM Ryan Pace was also deleted like a rack of Hamm's. Yet, somehow, Ted Phillips remains a trusted soldier of the McCaskey family despite years of uselessness. The boys of Zero Doinks talk all about their Bears feelings and discuss possible targets for both GM and head coach. This was a good day, Bears fans. Imperfect, but good. Also, Ryan Pace probably traded five more draft picks on his way out the door. 0:00 - 04:03 - a symphony of sound + what's on tap tonight 04:03 - 59:36 - The boys talk about their experiences of Black Monday. How surprised were they with Ryan Pace getting fired on top of Matt Nagy's corpse? What are their immediate reactions to the George McCaskey press conference and the Chicago media's hard-slapping questions? Do the boys have any favorites for GM or coach? 59:36 - END - lots of sound for your ears to (hopefully) enjoy --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

After a relaxing bye week for us Bears fans, JF1 and the lads prep for a return to Soldier Field as Lamar Jackson and the Ravens will be coming to town. The boys will give you their hot hot fantasy and gambling picks (as will resident sharp and shark, Rick Feelsmen). Plus the long-awaited return of Gray Balls as Coach Cuse has put together quite the squad to try and defend the crown for the 35+ intramural champions (consolation bracket) of the world. Plus tons more, including both Bill and Dan venting about coaching their children in their local park district basketball leagues. 00:00 - 02:26 - Intro song(s) courtesy of some weird karaoke site as well as Pennywise (not the clown) and Coach Cuse + Rick Feelsmen 02:26 - 03:56 - What's on tap tonight? 03:56 - 29:25 - Bears-Ravens preview. A little more about the refs in Bears-Steelers. Big week for the NFC North, besides the Lions. 29:25 - 30:12 - Where can you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs? 30:12 - 35:54 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Who should you pick up for your daily fantasy teams, same game parlay, et al. 35:54 - 55:40 - Hamm's N Bread. Resident and exclusive whale, shark and sharp @rickfeelsmen pops in with his three hottest picks of the week. Plus which way would the boys lean in Bears-Ravens and a few other recommended plays. As always, the segment ends with Toffees Corner, a review/preview of the boys's favorite soccer team, Everton. 55:40 - 67:43 - Big Ten Minute. The Gophers stink again, apparently. The Illini had the week off and travel to Iowa City. Will Dan's Gophers exceed seven wins, per his wallet? Hoops season is here, thank the sweet lord. 67:43 - 76:58 - Gray Balls. America's favorite 35+ intramural basketball team is back to defend their (consolation) championship in the western suburbs of Chicago. The 2021 - 2022 season kicked off on Wednesday and the boys will tell you all about what happened and what's coming up this week. Also, who won the Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player of the Week Award? 76:58 - 95:39 - Let's Wrap This M'Fer Up. Dan has some Bulls thoughts and both Doinks need to let off some steam about the youth hoops teams they are coaching (to a combined 0-7 record, thus far). We might stink as leaders of young men/women. 95:39 - END - Lots of gifts to your ears from us. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for listening. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Chicago's comeback attempt falls short on Monday Night Football as the Bears lose to Big Ben's grey penis in Pittsburgh. We'll talk all about JF1's continued ascension toward greatness, and Matt Nagy's latest example of why he should be facing an obvious firing, as the Bears head into their bye week. Plus of course we'll talk about Jordan Love's debut for Green Bay which should have offered Packers fans a glimpse into the abyss. We also invite Aaron Rodgers to 'see us after class' as well as discuss the Illini football squad's big win at #20 Minnesota, which I'm sure made Dan Doinks feel all sorts of things. Plus more! 00:00 - 04:03 - Intro song, etc. Thank you Collective Soul for your inspiration. 04:03 - 05:21 - What's on tap tonight? 05:21 - 13:37 - Justin Fields is Gold. The main bright spot amongst a pile of darkness. 13:37 - 50:47 - Bears-Steelers review plus NFL notes. Bill and Dan Doinks dive as deep as possible into the Bears game, though admittedly both have been throwing down beverages for a few hours. Plus we are pretty sure Jordan Love stinks. 50:47 - 58:34 - See Me After Class. Bill Doinks takes Aaron Rodgers to town. 58:34 - 59:21 - Where do you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs? 59:21 - 81:43 - B1G Minute. Dan Doinks is still very hurt by the way he was treated after his Gophers got schooled in football, no less, by the Illinois Fighting Illini. 81:43 - 89:53 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Bulls talk and other oddities. 89:53 - END - Outro music. Lots of credits due, not the least of which is Coach Cuse, Marcell in Minneapolis, Sufjan Stevens, Rick Feelsmen and others. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Aaron Rodgers might own the Bears but he does not own Zero Doinks. We will talk all about the Bears having now lost 10 out of 11 to Green Bay as well as Rodgers's message for all of Soldier Field. Dan Doinks was in the flesh to witness yet another loss to the Packers and frankly this is all too familiar of a feeling, wake us up when both Rodgers and Nagy are gone. We talk about JF1's latest performance as well as preview this upcoming weekend's lopsided matchup at Tom Brady and the defending champion Tampa Bay Bucs. Rick Feelsmen pops in for his latest hot hot picks and the boys of Zero Doinks offer their can't miss winners as well as their best fantasy football advice. The Gophers beat Nebraska again, the Illini hoops team is ranked #11 in the country and there's just tons more to talk about including a post-mortem of the 2021 Chicago White Sox. Plus Dan teaches us where urine and semen are stored. 0:00 - 04:51 - Intro. Inspired by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel with thanks to Doctor Dan, Kristen Doinks, Coach Cuse and Bill Doinks, the debut of "Sound of Silence" heard exclusively on Zero Doinks. 04:51 - 05:55 - What's on tap tonight? 05:55 - 16:55 - Justin Fields is Gold. We have not and will not give up on JF1. What were the highs and lows of his first ever game against Green Bay? 16:55 - 76:25 - Bears-Packers review, Bears-Bucs preview, NFL nuggets. Dan Doinks was at Soldier Field and he walks us through his entire experience, including more vendor issues. We hate Matt Nagy again. The defense is allowed to stop the run, right? Who won this week's Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player of the Week as voted on by our Fans N Eggs from around the world? Moving onto Tampa, Dan previews all the weirdness that is the Bucs's coaching staff and front office and introduces us to a guy who suffered the most unfortunate of all football injuries. 76:25 - 77:18 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 77:18 - 106:28 - Hamm's N Bread. Plus Spreads + Toffees Corner. Resident sharp, shark and whale Rick Feelsmen pops in for his weekly hot hot picks and the boys pick a side in Bears-Bucs. What other games catch Dan's eye? How did Everton do and what are their prospects for this upcoming weekend? 106:28 - 115:57 - Bears Fantasy Corner. It was Allen Robinson versus Darnell Mooney to nearly even the score between Dan and Bill. Who are their hot picks for your Same Game Parlay this weekend? 115:57 - 126:25 - Big Ten Minute. The Gophers won again. The Illini had a bye and are gearing up for basketball season. We still love Hugh Robertson. 126:25 - 147:04 - Let's Close the M'Fer Out. Bill gives his post-mortem of the 2021 White Sox. It's nearly Bulls season. The Chicago Sky won the WNBA championship as Chicago becomes championship city once again. 147:04 - END: Full "California On My Mind" Green Bay version, compliments of Coach Cuse and Bill Doinks with thanks to Wild Life. Plus "White Winter Hymnal" compliments of Coach Cuse, Daughter of Bill Doinks and Bill Doinks, with thanks to Fleet Foxes. Plus interviews of Coach Cuse and Rick Feelsmen by Bill Doinks. And music by Sufjan Stevens about clowns. And Darren from Dublin audio. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

JF1 is the starter now and the rest of the league is on notice. Justin Fields and the Bears have won two straight after a W in Las Vegas against racist (and now fired) Jon Gruden and the Raiders, led by trash panda owner Mark Davis. We will give you the ins and outs of the Bears win as well as the reintroduction of Justin Fields is Gold now that he shall be the starter forever more, praise be to the lord, the giver of life. Plus - have you heard? It's Packers week! Aaron Rodgers comes to Soldier Field for perhaps the final time in his career, depending how this offseason shakes out. You know we'll have all the angles on this game, as will resident shark, sharp and whale Rick Feelsmen. Bears Fantasy Corner, B1G Minute, Hamm's N Ted plus tons of special audio gifts throughout the show. Also, can Bill convince Dan to come back for one more run with Gray Balls? Thanks for listening, as always. 0:00 - 03:08 - Intro. Debut of a new song courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks, inspired by Temple of the Dog (RIP Chris Cornell). 03:08 - 04:37 - What's on tap tonight? 04:37 - 20:23 - Justin Fields is Gold. At long last, JF1 has been given the starting nod from now and forever more. Why did Matt Nagy change his mind? How did Fields do against the Raiders? Is his knee okay? That TD pass to Jesper Horsted was the first of many. Praise be. 20:23 - 21:10 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 21:10 - 70:38 - Raiders review, Packers preview. The boys review the rest of Chicago's performance in Las Vegas and decide which player has earned a well-deserved Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player of the Week. Let's talk about the defense, holy shit, they've been amazing since week one. And what did Dan Pompei say in The Athletic? What a weird. Did Ryan Pace trade for a lemon in Jakeem Grant? But let's not bury the lead. The Packers are coming to town in Week 6 for what could very well be the last Soldier Field visit for Aaron Rodgers and his stupid hair. Can the Bears knock off Green Bay and rise to the top of the NFC North? Is Dan going to be in the house? 70:38 - 97:37 - Hamm's N Bread. America's favorite sports wagering segment, featuring Hamm's N Bread (the segment within the segment) led by exclusive sharp, sharp and whale Rick Feelsmen. Which way are the boys leaning in GB-Chi? Any other games catch the eye? How about some Toffees Corner where Zero Doinks talks all things Everton soccer in the segment within the segment within the segment. 97:37 - 111:51 - Bears Fantasy Corner. How did our picks go last week (A Rob versus Khalil Herbert)? Who do we recommend you scoop this week for your Same Game Parlays and whatnot? As always, sponsored by both Glad and John Lithgow's Hollywood Square. 111:51 - 122:43 - Big Ten Minute. Is it basketball season yet? We still love you, Hugh. And Judy, obviously. And all of Australia. Is the daughter of Bill Doinks going to apply for something red hot in Champaign? 122:43 - 135:39 - Hamm's N Ted. The White Sox are hanging by a thread but Chicago is in Dusty Baker's head now so that's what really counts, right? 135:39 - 147:51 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Can Bill convince Dan to jump back on board with Gray Balls as the season is starting in November? Thank you to The Average Cheese, Rick Feelsmen, Ryan Nall, Leila Rahimi, Coach Cuse and the Daughter of Bill Doinks. 147:51 - END Outro Music. Featuring the 2021 version of Bear Down Now, courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks, Son of Bill Doinks, and Son(s) of Coach Cuse (inspired by The Postal Service). --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Your favorite Zero Doinks contributors were on site during yesterday's Bears-Lions game and the boys will recap a long and boozy day at Soldier Field. With Justin Fields notching his first W as a starting NFL quarterback, head coach Matt Nagy had to allow his ego to enter the story after it was revealed that Bill Lazor was the brains behind the Bears offensive scheme. On Monday, Nagy reiterated that Andy Dalton will be the starter once again when healthy. The boys will talk about what is sure to be another unnecessarily-awkward week at Halas Hall leading into Chicago's first ever trip to Las Vegas against the Raiders. Plus tons more, including Zero Doinks's reaction about the next step toward the Bears leaving Soldier Field and shacking up in Arlington Heights. Also on tap: Rick Feelsmen 2.0 climbing his way back into the hearts and minds of our listeners after a 2-1 week. The segment within a segment gains a new sibling. The Illini get back in the W column as do the Gophers. The White Sox start their playoff journey against Houston this week as well. Urban Meyer is in some hot water. Plus tons more. 0:00 - 05:03 - Intro song, special thanks to Coach Cuse, Daughter of Bill Doinks, Son of Bill Doinks, Son of Coach Cuse, and The Postal Service. 05:03 - 05:48 - What's on tap tonight? 05:48 - 69:24 - Bears-Lions review, Bears-Raiders preview, NFL chitter chatter. How was the environment at Soldier Field? How many beers were consumed? Did someone try and catch highway grapes outside of a moving vehicle on the highway? Did we find the barrel? Did Rick Feelsmen make it to the game in time? Did Coach Cuse write any more songs? 69:24 - 70:11 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 70:11 - 88:42 - Hamm's N Bread. Resident sharp, shark and whale Rick Feelsmen 2.0 (2-1) pops in to give his three hot hot picks during Hamm's N Spreads. Which way are the boys leaning with the Bears-Raiders line and total? Any other games catch our eye? The debut of the official segment within a segment within a segment, Toffees Corner, featuring red hot Everton chatter. 88:42 - 104:27 - Bears Fantasy Corner. How did last week's picks of Jimmy Graham versus Jesse James go? Who are our recommended Bears offensive picks for the Raiders game? 104:27 - 112:18 - Big Ten Minute. Both the Illini and the Gophers football clubs are back to their winning ways. Coach #bert plays the Badgers for the first time since abandoning them in 2012. Huge Top 5 B1G matchup this weekend with #4 Penn State visiting #3 Iowa. 112:18 - 118:34 - Hamm's N Ted. The #3-seeded Chicago White Sox start their run to a championship as they start their ALDS series against Houston this week. Can Dan swallow his pride and cheer for the Sox? 118:34 - 129:11 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. Where are we landing on the latest Bears to Arlington Heights developments? Urban Meyer got weird in a bar with some young ladies, eh? 129:11 - END: Outro music and sounds. Thank you to Coach Cuse and Sufjan Stevens for the inspiration behind "Chicago." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

At long last the regular season kicks off as Andy Dalton (gross) and the Bears prepare to open their season on NBC's Sunday Night Football at the Los Angeles Rams. How long will it be until JF1 is allowed to save the franchise? Halftime? God we hope so. What do we make of the matchup and what are our final 2021 predictions? Resident sharp Rick Feelsmen returns for a fresh season of Hamm's N Bread with a little bit of Hamm's N Spreads in the middle. Bears Fantasy Corner returns for a third season as the boys will offer you some creative ways of winning your Week 1 fantasy battles. Tough week for our B1G squads but we'll talk about how they can bounce back in a big way. Illini punter Hugh Robertson hops on for a chat in his exclusive Zero Doinks segment "Hughey's Mayo 'N Eggs." Plus lots more surprises, musical and otherwise. 0:00 - 05:52 - Intro with new Zero Doinks song "Helpless" courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks and special appearance by Stylz from The Real is Back, inspired by Helpless from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Hamilton. 05:52 - 08:31 - What's on tap tonight? 08:31 - 54:16 - Bears roster talk, JF1 talk, Bears-Rams preview, NFL talk. Lots to get into about how the depth chart looks heading into Bears-Rams. When do we expect JF1 to take over the ship? How do we feel Matt Nagy and Ryan Pace have handled the QB situation to date? How many hits can Andy Dalton withstand behind the offensive line? Dan Doinks walks us through the Week 1 opponent's coaching staff, front office and more as only he can. NFC North Week 1 matchups to keep our eyes out for. 54:16 - 56:58 - Fans 'N Eggs. Predictions for the 2021 season from a handful of your favorite Zero Doinks Fans 'N Eggs. 56:58 - 88:38 - Hamm's N Bread. Resident shark, sharp and whale Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot picks during this week's Hamm's N Spreads, the middle of America's favorite sports wagering segment Hamm's N Bread. Which way are the boys leaning this week for Sunday night's debut? Any other games catch our eye? 88:38 - 100:52 - Bears Fantasy Corner. The world's weirdest fantasy segment returns for its third year. Which fantasy Bears do Bill and Dan Doinks recommend scooping up to help you win your Week 1 and/or DFL fantasy battles? How did their auction go a couple of weeks ago? How about the Fans N Eggs draft? 100:52 - 126:44 - The B1G Minute. The Illini still lead the B1G West despite a tough Saturday night loss. Dan's Gophers led Ohio State at halftime but couldn't hang on, while suffering a tough injury to a key offensive weapon. 126:44 - 155:04 - Hughey's Mayo N Eggs. Illini punter Hugh Robertson pops in for another appearance while patiently answering the boys ridiculous questions about Australia. Lots of incredible insights from Hugh's mum here. 155:04 - 155:41 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 155:41 - 170:00 - Let's Wrap this M'Fer Up. An assortment of thoughts, hopes and dreams. 170:00 - END - Ryan Pace mashup courtesy of Chicago Bears dot com and The Room. "Patience" courtesy of Coach Cuse and Bill Doinks with a special appearance by Rick Feelsmen, clearly inspired by Guns 'N Roses.

This has been the most eventful preseason of recent memory and we are here to talk about it while not trying to overanalyze one game that so happened to involve our ex-BFF lighting up the Bears defense at will. What is Matt Nagy doing in regards to QB? What is the point of Andy Dalton? Have we completely turned on Nagy again? Are we overreacting? Hard to say. JF1 is starting against the Titans to close out the preseason but is that really a good idea? We'll talk all about it. Plus exclusive sports gambling sharp @rickfeelsmen pops in for his latest hot hot picks during Hamms 'N Bread and the return of Big Ten Minute visits Champaign as the Illini kick off the college football slate against Nebraska. The boys of Zero Doinks visit Ontario, Canada, as Ty from Ontario is on the hot seat as the latest Fan 'N Egg. Plus tons more! 00:00 - 05:14 - Intro featuring Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks, + clips from FOX and Chicago Bears dot com (thank you Death Cab For Cutie for the Inspiration) as well as a touch of Scatman John. 05:14 - 06:00 - What's on tap tonight? 06:00 - 25:34 - Justin Fields is Gold. What the hell is Matt Nagy doing here? What is the point of Andy Dalton? Just so frustrating, start the best dude and don't turn back. 25:34 - 54:33 - Bears and NFL chatter. Still fired up about Matt Nagy a bit here. We talk about Mitch Trubisky and our cry to Bears fans to attempt to hold two thoughts in their head at the same time. 54:33 - 73:52 - Hamm's 'N Bread. American's favorite sports gambling segment featuring Hamm's 'N Spreads which features the resident shark, sharp and whale Rick Feelsmen. He'll bounce back from a tough 0-3 week*. You know there will be some Everton chatter here as well. (*preseason picks don't count) 73:52 - 74:29 - Where you can find us on the interwebs. 74:29 - 91:26 - Big Ten Minute. College football is back this weekend and the Illini are kicking it off at home against Nebraska. Where will the Illini finish under Bret Bielema's leadership? How about Dan's Gophers? Will Bill Doinks be at the game on Saturday? 91:26 - 116:49 - Fans 'N Eggs. Zero Doinks visits Canada and Bears fan Ty in Ontario. What's the deal with Canadian currency? How does a guy from Canada become a Bears fan? Why are there so many Lions fans in Ty's general vicinity? Plus tons more with a great dude who teaches ZD and its listeners some new turns of phrase. 116:49 - 113:16 - Outro. Wrapping up this bad boy before a slight hiatus until Tuesday, September 7th, prior to the real thing, Bears-Rams. 133:16 - END - Outro music, compliments of Scatman John. What a guy. A bit weird. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Justin Fields made his preseason debut against the Dolphins and both Dan and Bill need to take their pants to the dry cleaner. What were the first impressions? How handsome did he look in navy? Is Coach Matt Nagy bending at all with his initial plan to start Andy Dalton Week 1? What was the Soldier Field experience like for Bill Doinks? The Bears had to sign 86-year old LT Jason Peters thanks to offensive line injury issues. Is that going to be a problem? Anyone else stand out during preseason game one besides JF1? Old flame (out) Mitch Trubisky visits this weekend for preseason game two between Chicago and Buffalo. Has time healed all wounds? Doubtful. Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen) visits during another rousing Hamm's 'N Bread and his picks were smoking hot. Can his run of genius picks continue? Dan gives an update on official Zero Doinks soccer team Everton. Plus was the Field of Dreams White Sox-Yankees game everything Bill Doinks was hoping for and more? Thank you for listening. 0:00 - 03:35 - Intro segment featuring a reminder of the 2020 Bears victory song "Bear Down Now" courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and our children. Highlights courtesy of Fox and chicagobears dot com. 03:35 - 04:33 - What's on tap during this episode? 04:33 - 25:13 - Justin Fields Is Gold. What were our first impressions of JF1's preseason debut? Is it time to move him up the depth chart? What did he look like in person? 25:13 - 56:15 - Bears and NFL chatter. How about the rest of the squad - anything stand out during the win over Miami? What was the Soldier Field experience like as a whole? Interesting signing of Jason Peters to shore up the offensive line. Oh yeah, Mitch Trubisky is visiting this weekend. Does that tug at the 'ole heart strings at all and/or make us angry? 56:15 - 79:35 - Hamm's 'N Bread (sports wagering). Rick Feelsmen went 3-0 last week. What are his hot hot picks for this week? Dan Doinks has a lot of insight regarding the official Zero Doinks soccer team Everton. 79:35 - 80:12 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 80:12 - 88:28 - Outro. How did the boys feel about the Field of Dreams game between the White Sox and Yankees? 88:28 - END - variety of sound bites, including Dan Doinks's Season 1 rant about Mitch Trubisky. Last song courtesy of Sufjan Stevens. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Adam Shaheen and the Dolphins are coming to town for preseason game number one but will the Bears have enough players to field a team? Soldier Field will house fans for the first time since 2019 as Justin Fields gears up to make his professional debut. What should we expect as fans? What's the latest word from camp? Is Justin Fields still the football form of Jesus? The boys will discuss that plus tons more, including smattering of other goings-on around the world of sports. Can the regular season just get here already? Thanks for listening! 0:00 - 01:36 - Intro + what's on tap tonight (intro audio courtesy of ESPN, music courtesy of Coach Cuse) 01:36 - 02:56 - Hello from the boys of Zero Doinks 02:56 - 12:38 - Justin Fields is Gold. What do we expect to see during JF1's preseason debut? How was last week of camp? Any news about Justin's dad Pablo? Did you see that sidearm throw in practice? 12:38 - 38:54 - Bears and NFL chatter. Dan gives some background on this week's preseason opponent, Miami, especially regarding their ownership group. Is Adam Shaheen going to be in the house? How about all those injuries, huh? Is Teven Jenkins dead? 38:54 - 39:31 - How you can follow Zero Doinks on the interwebs 39:31 - 56:59 - Hamm's N Bread. Sports wagering segment featuring the show's resident expert @rickfeelsmen. How many Bears future wagers do the boys have out there in the ether? Should we wet our beak with preseason action? 56:59 - 66:44 - Hamm's N Ted. Some hot baseball talk as the White Sox went into Wrigley Field and swept the Cubs. Is Dan coming around on Tony La Russa? Does Bill think the Sox have what it takes to win it all this October? 66:44 - 84:32 - Outro. How did Dan's deep-sea fishing adventures go? How about all of those moves made by the Bulls? 84:32 - END - Random audio, including a look back at the end of last week's new Zero Doinks exclusive single "Be With You." --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Tons to talk about as the 2021 Bears training camp is open, Zero Doinks has another red hot new single and every Chicago sports team has had a newsworthy week. Our own @rickfeelsmen was live on the scene at Halas Hall and provides the listeners with a perspective only he could offer. How are things looking thus far for Justin Fields and the rest of the Bears, plus what type of shrapnel is left-over now that Aaron Rodgers has taken the Packers' franchise as his personal hostage. The MLB trade deadline has come and gone - what does Dan Doinks think about the depletion of his beloved Cubs? Did Bill's White Sox do enough to put itself in the Fall Classic? Tons of your favorite Fans 'N Eggs join Dan and Bill for a reunion of sorts and you won't want to miss what Darren in Dublin brings to the table. Interviews and highlights from The Hot Ten's charity event of the year filled with chicken wings, hot sauce and multiple championships. Plus did you hear? Ayo Donsunmu is a Bull! Lots to hit your ears as Zero Doinks now goes weekly through the end of the NFL season. Thanks for listening! 0:00 - 04:10 - Debut of new Zero Doinks song "To Be With You" courtesy of Bill Doinks (thank you Mr. Big and Justin Fields for the inspiration) + intro 04:10 - 05:19 - What's on tap tonight? 05:19 - 22:25 - Justin Fields is Gold. Early camp reports on Justin. JF1 met the Chicago media in person for the first time in his life, poor guy. 22:25 - 57:50 - Bears and NFL Chatter. Should we be concerned about Teven Jenkins's back? Eddie Goldman showed up, sorry Brad Biggs. Tons of weirdness around the league, including Aaron Rodgers and the Packers and Vikings Covid-19 QBs. Surprising amount of clown talk. 57:50 - 92:07 - Fans 'N Eggs. Your favorite guest fans from around the country join Zero Doinks for a reunion. 92:07 - 124:50 - Hamms 'N Eggs. Recap of The Hot Ten experience with aspiring Chicago Bears beat reporter @rickfeelsmen on the grounds, interviewing contestants galore. Plus a glimpse inside the party van. 124:50 - 135:27 - Hamms 'N Bread. Tons of Olympic options to toss some cash on. Exclusive bookmaking sharp @rickfeelsmen gives his hot picks but not in the way you might expect. 135:27 - 136:14 - Where you can find us on the interwebs 136:04 - 150:59 - Hamms 'N Ted. Cubs are dead. White Sox are not. Crosstown trades galore. Nick Madrigal on the north side. 150:59 - 162:03 - B1G Minute. College football training camps are open throughout the country. Kofi Cockburn is back in Champaign for one more year. Ayo Dosunmu is a Bull. 162:03 - 167:15 - Outro chatter. Hamm's Special Light is dead? Shout-outs galore. 167:15 - END - Outro music and bonus audio. Thank you to Sufjan Stevens for some of the music. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

As the 2021 training camp rapidly approaches, how long can we be patient with Justin Fields? What's the latest with Eddie Goldman? But let's not bury the lead as the boys are debuting a new segment with Illini football player and native of Australia, Hugh Robertson. Plus, the charity event of the year is happening in Chicagoland on July 31st and there is no place like Zero Doinks to chat up the founders of The Hot Ten. Tons more, including an exclusive new song. Also Dan is in his garage for this one. 0:00 - 06:03 - Intro featuring a new original cover of Guns N Roses's "Patience," featuring Bill Doinks, Coach Cuse and Rick Feelsmen 06:03 - 07:33 - What's on tap tonight? 07:33 - 19:01 - Justin Fields is Gold. We still can't believe Justin Fields is the Bears quarterback and we will not tolerate slander on Twitter about JF1. Is Fields a White Sox fan? The boys were too dumb to understand an article written about JF1 that debunked the theory of him being a one-read QB. Let's get to the season already. (some intro sound courtesy of Ohio State Football Network, Barstool Sports and Bo Burnham) 19:01 - 37:42 - Chicago Bears chatter. The Tribune's Brad Biggs continues to try and make Bears fans nervous about the possibility of Eddie Goldman retiring. Goldman's recent Chicagoland workouts suggest otherwise. Training camp opens July 29th at Halas Hall - are the boys trying to get tickets to view such things? Dan offers an apology to a suburban friend. A Rob's extension deadline is nearing. Packers fans on Twitter are super soft. (some intro sound courtesy of 670 The Score and whatever station covered the Aaron Rodgers charity golf event) 37:42 - 80:26 - Hughey's Mayo 'N Eggs starring Illini punter Hugh Robertson. The newest Zero Doinks segment dives deep with Hugh Robertson, a Australian native who is a 28-year old redshirt freshman punter at the University of Illinois. Hugh shares his unique journey that led him to Champaign, what he has learned from fellow Aussie and All-American punter Blake Hayes, how the new Bret Bielema coaching staff differs from Lovie Smith's staff and tons more. Would it be smart to fight a kangaroo? Is Foster's an actual Australian beer? Did Hugh really win a slam dunk contest in his native land? Which Australian Rules Football team should the boys of Zero Doinks bandwagon? (some intro sound courtesy of Men at Work and Flight of the Conchords) 80:26 - 97:16 - Hamm's N Eggs with The Hot Ten. The charity event of the year is happening in Rosemont, Illinois, courtesy of The Hot Ten benefitting Baby Spirit Foundation. Are you up to the challenge of eating ten of the hottest chicken wings you've ever seen? Would you rather enjoy a three hour open bar and raffles? There is still time to register for this July 31st event. Sean, Kevin and Andrew from The Hot Ten walk us through what to expect for this amazing event. Maybe we'll all see Dan Doinks wearing a diaper? 97:16 - 97:54 - Where can you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs? 97:54 - 107:06 - Hamm's N Bread with Rick Feelsmen. Resident sharp and shark Rick Feelsmen takes over this segment with "Hamms N Spreads" - wear oven mitts because his picks are so freaking hot. 107:06 - 111:56 - Hamm's N Ted. The Cubs are done. The White Sox are good but hurt. Tony La Russa is still a weird drunk. 111:56 - 125:55 - Outro thoughts. Dan is a big soccer guy now. The boys of Zero Doinks decide to bandwagon a soccer team, too. 125:55 - END: A little more Rick Feelsmen behind the mic and a touch of the full-length version of "Patience." Also hints of Sufjan Stevens and Bo Burnham. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The Bears offseason rolls on and there are hot rumors left and right. Sweaty Teddy Phillips is making a play for a potential move from Chicago to Arlington Heights - where do the boys of Zero Doinks stand? Matt Nagy keeps downplaying the glory that is Justin Fields as he tries to protect his rookie QB. Will he actually be on the bench Week 1? Rick Feelsmen reappears from the dead for Hamms N Spreads, the segment within the segment of Hamms N Bread, America's favorite gambling segment. The boys touch on some Chicago baseball during Hamms N Ted. Plus tons more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Peter and Dale chat with our new friends Dan and Bill from Zero Doinks about the Bears, their draft, and more. $6.50 in the jar for Habitat for Humanity. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/avgcheese/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/avgcheese/support

How difficult is it to find a loss on the newly-released 2021 Bears schedule? That's one of many questions Bill and Dan Doinks try to answer in this episode of Zero Doinks which features a new segment called "Justin Fields is Gold" which reminds everyone that the Bears have a real QB1 for once. 18 weeks, 17 games, how many wins? The boys try and figure out where the Bears are destined to land during the 2021 season and try to guess when Fields takes over the squad. America's favorite gambling segment is back with Hamm's N Bread with a little bit of Hamm's N Spreads in the middle courtesy of resident shark, sharp and whale @rickfeelsmen. Plus tons more, including an update regarding a haunting in Dan's newly-purchased home build in the 1800s. Thanks for listening, as always! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

This is the quarterback we Bears fans have been waiting for all of our lives. What was life even like before the Bears didn't have a franchise QB? Ryan Pace stuns the NFL world by trading up for JUSTIN FIELDS and changes the trajectory of the franchise. Justin Fields is a Chicago Bear. The boys still can't believe it and cannot wait to talk all about it. Plus, Chicago's draft was graded tops in the league by multiple experts. I never thought I'd type that sentence in my life. We'll chat about all the new members of the Bears, plus how the NFC North rivals stack up, especially given Aaron Rodgers lighting the Packers HQ aflame with his ultimatum. Can't trust that guy. Rick Feelsmen drops in from a new location. Does Dan have any ghost issues in his home after tempting fate? How was Bill's trip to Disney? Plus tons more on this reddest of hot Zero Doinks! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

As a make or break NFL draft approaches for Ryan Pace and Matt Nagy, the boys of Zero Doinks talk about what they'd like to see happen for the Bears during the first round. The Bears are going to angle for a rookie QB at some point, right? Speaking of QBs, Dan and Bill needed to take a breather before talking about Andy Dalton as the likely QB1 for the 2021 Chicago Bears, but it's time to vent about the Red Rocket. Rick Feelsmen pops in for another rousing Hamm's and Spreads. The Cubs and White Sox are off to uninspiring starts for Chicago baseball fans. Dave Madness review. A huge Gray Balls announcement. Dan has a new home with some uninvited guests. Bill is about to get weird in Florida. Plus much more on a red hot Zero Doinks! 0:00 - 2:13 - Intro with a musical tease in your ear 2:13 - 4:09 - What's on tap this episode? 4:09 - 30:07 - What has happened with the Bears since last ep? Andy Dalton, really? Dan Pompei gets super weird about Dalton. Cutting Kyle Fuller. C Patt gone. Miller and Graham next? Who have we signed? 17th game in the NFL. Schedule tease. New numbers allowed for players. So much Sweaty Teddy. 30:07 - 51:02 - Who will the Bears take in the first round? Trade up for a QB? Justin Fields has epilepsy? Our predictions. 51:02 - 76:20 - Hamm's N Bread (gambling segment). Rick Feelsmen pops in for his segment within a segment, Hamm's N Spreads. NFL futures talk. Soccer talk for some reason. 76:20 - 93:41 - B1G Minute. Illini hoops post-mortem. Losing at least one assistant? Kofi gone or no? Champaign is a football town now with Bret Bielema. Anything going on with the Gophers? How was Dave Madness on NCAA tourney day number one? 93:41 - 94:18 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 94:18 - 107:19 - Hamm's N Ted (baseball talk). Will the White Sox be okay? Is Tony La Russa still drunk? Any hope for the Cubs? 107:19 - 134:34 - Covering a lot of ground in the outro with a huge Gray Balls announcement. Dan has a new home with some potentially unwelcome and randy guests. Bill is going to Cinderella's castle. 134:34 - END - The debut of a timely draft song. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Zero Doinks is back for a third season of ridiculousness. Special guest Rick Feelsmen is here to give his hot takes on all things Bears, NFL and more as the boys of Zero Doinks dive deep into an underwhelming Bears offseason thus far. At least we can make fun of what has become a playoff tradition - another Green Bay Packers choke. With the Chiefs-Bucs Super Bowl upon us, we examine all the gambling angles one can take advantage of as well as get weird with some intriguing prop bets. March Madness isn't too far away and the Illini are heading the right direction as the Gophers are not. Plus tons more. Big thanks to Coach Cuse for the fresh sounds of Season 3 as well as Daughter of Bill Doinks for some of the red hot bumpers. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Season 2 finale of Zero Doinks! After a disappointing snoozefest of a Wild Card game against New Orleans, the McCaskeys decided it would be wise to bring the whole gang back for the 2021 season. We talk all about the Bears playoff loss to the Saints and suffer through the reality that is ownership's decision to continue with this same front office and head coach. The boys of Zero Doinks discuss what they would do if they were in charge of personnel and discuss their frustrations as life-long Bears fans. Predictions for the rest of the NFL playoffs hit your ears during Hamm's N Bread as well as Rick Feelsmen's final S2 appearance during his Hamm's N Spreads segment. Where are the Gophers and Illini hoops teams headed this year in hoops? We discuss that during the B1G Minute and wrap up a weird and memorable Season 2. Thank you for listening, you guys are the best. 0:00 - 03:08 - Debut of "I'm Still Standing" parody song, lamenting the Bears decision to continue with current leadership 03:09 - 04:08 - What's on tap for the season finale 04:09 - 36:14 - Bears-Saints Wild Card playoff review plus a little more on Dan Doinks and his ghost tour in the mountains of Tennessee. 36:15 - 36:45 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 36:46 - 86:19 - So the McCaskeys and Ted Phillips decided to run it all back in 2021? We dive deep into what that means from the perspective of two Bears fan dopes. 86:20 - 107:25 - Hamm's N Bread sports gambling segment. The boys look at gambling angles and make predictions for the remainder of the NFL playoff slate. Resident gambling expert Rick Feelsmen pops in for his final Season 2 appearance. 107:26 - 121:42 - B1G Minute. Where are the Gophers and Illini hoops teams going to end up when March Madness comes knocking? Any truth to the PJ Fleck to NFL rumors? 121:43 - END - NBA and MLB talk plus some sincere thank you's to our amazing listeners. You guys surprise us at all times. "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" song courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks and inspired by Death Cab for Cutie, of course. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Christmas tune number two of three debuts this week as a timely ballad of "Oh Sweaty Ted" hits your ears, courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks. The Bears choked away their best opportunity at a win in weeks (months?) with another puzzler against Detroit. Deshaun Watson and the Texans come to town next and I'm sure Watson won't want to stick it to the team that passed on him in the 2017 draft whatsoever. Rick Feelsmen pops in for another expert appearance during Hamms N Spreads, the sports gambling segment within a segment of Hamms N Bread. The boys visit Ireland again for Fans N Eggs, this time with Anthony in Cork (@BearsCork). Lots to be learned during that fan segment. Big Ten Minute touches on Illini hoops and Gopher sports. Plus much more randomness as the slow walk toward Bears death continues. 0:00 - 02:28 - Debut of a new Zero Doinks Christmas tune, "Oh Sweaty Ted," courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks. 02:29 - 03:35 - What's on tap in this week's episode? 03:36 - 28:13 - Review of that ridiculous Lions game and a few thoughts on the long-term look at the Bears issues. Did anyone win the Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player of the Week, as voted on by the legion of the Fans N Eggs? 28:14 - 49:48 - Bears-Texans preview. 49:49 - 64:31 - Hamm's N Breads (sports gambling segment) with a pop-in by resident gambling sharp and DraftKings Ambassador Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen). 64:32 - 65:02 - Where can you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs? 65:03 - 70:44 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy sports advice). Who would the boys recommend as a daily fantasy play for the Bears this week? 70:45 - 74:18 - Big Ten Minute. Illini with another football stinker against Iowa. The Gophers might not be playing football any longer. Illini hoops still in the Top 10 going into a road game at Duke and Gophers hoops still without a loss. 74:19 - 96:43 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). The boys visit Cork, Ireland, this week to have a fun chat with Anthony (@BearsCork). Lots of new knowledge gleaned, including info on hurling and much more. 96:44 - END - Outro. Lots of Cubs-Sox news this past week. Outro song "Into The Dark" courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Christmas song #1 is released here exclusively on Zero Doinks as Bears Winter Hymnal tugs at the heartstrings (courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks). The boys are bummed after the Bears are embarrassed on national TV by the hated Packers. Changes should be around the corner for the Beloved but first they must play out the string amidst a five game losing streak. Zero Doinks still manages to laugh to avoid crying as they dive deep into some gambling lines with the help of resident sharp Rick Feelsmen. The pond is crossed again for Fans N Eggs this week as the boys are making two stops in Ireland this month. First off - Dublin with Darren. This episode is extra weird due to the boys recording in a work environment while being stone sober. But it's still fun. Thanks for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The ladies of Zero Doinks are back for a very special 2020 version of America's favorite segment, Estrogen N Eggs. The boys get you ready for Packers week as you fry up your Thanksgiving turkey (hopefully not Cornish Hen because that would be murder). Enemy lines are crossed as Fans N Eggs visits Beer Watching John in Wisconsin. Plus tons more! Happy Thanksgiving from Zero Doinks! 00:00 - 00:51 - A Thanksgiving song as requested by Dan Doinks (background music courtesy of a karaoke company) 00:52 - 01:56 - What's on tap this episode? 01:57 - 04:13 - The boys touch on a little bit of Packers and a little bit of Cornish Hen 04:14 - 23:43 - Bears-Packers preview. Things all the sudden got super weird about a certain cartoon. 23:44 - 37:37 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling segment). Rick Feelsmen stops by with a youth he met at a KFC to brag about his 1-1-1 week. 37:38 - 45:25 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football segment). 45:25 - 82:23 - Estrogen N Eggs. The wives of Dan and Bill Doinks stop by to play a little game of Hot or Not. 82:24 - 82:53 - Where you can find us on the interwebs. 82:53 - 92:52 - Big Ten Minute. How are the Illini and Gophers looking? College hoops start this week! 92:53 - 102:27 - Fans N Eggs. The boys visit John in Wisconsin to learn what it is to be a beer watcher and a Bears fan across enemy lines. 102:28 - 115:57 - Outro. 115:58 - END - Outro music including "Party Soft" by Coach Cuse --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

After a 5-1 start, the Bears are now 5-5 heading into their off week and holy crap their offense might be the worst thing anyone has ever laid their eyeballs on. The boys of Zero Doinks talk about the loss on Monday Night Football against the Vikings and discuss long-term implications and what they'd do if they were a McCaskey. Bears Fantasy Corner takes a look back, Hamm's N Bread looks at gambling angles and celebrates the first ever 3-0 weekend for gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen, heard exclusively on Zero Doinks. B1G Minute discusses an Illini win, a Gophers loss and an upcoming hoops season. Hamms N Ted talks about Theo Epstein's resignation and Tony La Russa's latest DUI. Plus much more, including some Bulls chatter. Zzzzzzzero Doinks. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

A clutch Cairo Santos got the Bears into overtime but the offense couldn't do enough to steal a win against the Saints as the Bears drop two straight and find themselves 5-3 with eight games left. The boys talk all about the game against New Orleans (Taysom Hill TD catch!?!?) and preview this weekend's huge game against the Titans. Can the Bears turn it around? Is this a must win? That's cliche but shit, this might be that. Hamms N Bread visits loads of gambling angles (not to mention a visit from exclusive Zero Doinks gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen) and Bears Fantasy Corner dives deep into who you should add to your daily fantasy roster this weekend. Martha in Tennessee is the first-ever female guest on Fans N Eggs as she kindly allows ZD to visit her across enemy lines. The Illini and Gophers are 0-2 and play each other this weekend in the Toilet Covid Bowl. Plus much more including some bonus baseball talk on Hamms N Ted. Oh boy. 0:00 - 05:00 - 'Highlights' of Bears-Saints plus what's on tap this episode (song courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks, inspired by Death Cab For Cutie; highlights courtesy of Fox and chicagobears.com) 05:01 - 47:57 - Review of Bears-Saints. Yikes, that one stung. Nick Foles stinks, eh? Are there any fixes we can see? How do the Bears stand in the NFC playoff hunt? How is the last half of the year going to shake out? (sound at end courtesy of NFL Netowkr) 47:58 - 72:15 - Preview of Bears-Titans. Dan Doinks takes us on a walk through Nashville and reminds us of Bears wins past. 72:16 - 87:38 - Hamm's N Bread. Dan has a cold streak going on. Which way are the boys leaning in the Titans game? Rick Feelsmen pops in for his hot hot picks from 78:36 - 83:48. Hopefully this is a big bounce back week for us all. 87:39 - 102:18 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Dan met a clown during Halloween. Revisiting Little Caesar's logo. Who did the boys recommend for their Daily Fantasy teams? 102:19 - 142:53 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). The boys visit Nashville and Bears/Titans fan Martha. Her story is incredible as her experience in the FBI saw some things that would cost us some sleep. Also, apparently Memphis sucks and sloths can't be touched with the human hand. 142:54 - 146:08 - Big Ten Minute. The Illini stink and have a lot of Covid issues. The Gophers also stink. Both teams play each other this week. Does anyone care? 146:09 - 146:39 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 146:40 - 164:56 - Hamm's N Ted. The Cubs are weird and the Sox just hired Tony La Russa. Bill tries to make heads or tails of that Jerry Reinsdorf-led decision. 164:57 - 179:56 - Outro. Hey it's election day. Everything's fine. 179:57 - 184:09 - Outro Music. Full "Bears lose" song for your enjoyment. Into The Dark, Red Zone's Stark courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks and inspired by Death Cab for Cutie. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

A Monday night to forget as the Bears leave Los Angeles without having scored an offensive touchdown. With Chicago still 5-2, what changes can be made to stop the bleeding? New Orleans comes to town for a Sunday afternoon affair. Will Dan's criticisms of Taysom Hill come back to haunt us all? Sports gambling and fantasy football angles galore this week, a quick visit to the B1G and the boys head to Louisiana to chat with Bears fan Jarred during this week's Fans N Eggs. Plus much much more. Let's lick our wounds together. That sounds weird. 0:00 - 05:02 - the world premiere of the Bears devastating loss song, "Into The Dark (Red Zone's Stark)" by Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks with inspiration from Death Cab For Cutie. Plus a look at what's on tap tonight. 05:03 - 50:24 - Bears-Rams review. What in the hell is going on with Matt Nagy's offense? We are about all out of new offensive playcalling options if you've listened to the past couple weeks but let's continue to get creative. Did anyone earn the Cornish Hen Bears Player Of The Week? 50:25 - 51:13 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 51:14 - 74:20 - Saints preview. Do people hate Sean Payton? Is there a Sandusky still on staff for New Orleans? Why are the Bensons worth so much money? What happened with the weird Catholic church fiddling and diddling scandal? 74:21 - 92:53 - Hamm's N Bread (gambling segment). Rick Feelsmen drops by to offer his hot hot picks which will keep you at or slightly above .500. Which way are the boys leaning in Bears-Saints? Any teasers that Dan Doinks wants to slap in front of the audience? 92:52 - 107:36 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football segment). Unique angles and weirdness take center stage during this week's fantasy football segment. Don't miss it. 107:37 - 129:55 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). Dan and Bill visit Louisiana this week and chat with Jarred (@MrSmith8201) regarding all things New Orleans, including crawfish, BBQ, beer and tons more. 129:56 - 130:26 - Where you can find Zero Doinks on the interwebs. 130:27 - 133:44 - B1G Minute. The Illini and Gophers both stunk last weekend. 133:45 - END - Happy Halloween, Doinkers. We love you. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Another incredible defensive performance lands the Bears atop the NFC North at 5-1. Haters gonna hate (is that what the kids say) but don't look now - Chicago is fighting for top billing in the NFC. The boys of Zero Doinks review the Carolina game and the Fans N Eggs vote on their Cornish Hen Player Of The Week. Monday Night Football looms with the Bears heading to Los Angeles and a big game against the Rams. Gambling and fantasy football angles will be looked at as will an always-awkward yet sensual visit from sports gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen. Fans N Eggs takes a visit to Mexico with Bears fan extraordinaire Diego as he introduces us to his incredible Bears fan club. Plus much more as always! 0:00 - 02:42 - Highlights from Week 6 and what's on tap this episode (highlights courtesy of Fox TV and chicagobears.com; music courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and children of the two of them) 02:43 - 44:38 - Review of Bears-Panthers. Are the Bears the greatest 5-1 team that has ever walked the Earth? Why so many haters? I guess the offense does still stink, huh? What are some solutions? This defense is still very sexy. Who wins this week's Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player Of The Game? 44:39 - 45:27 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks 45:28 - 68:47 - LA Rams preview. A huge MNF matchup awaits as Sean McVay and his weird staff host the Bears. Dan Doinks walks us through some Bears-Rams history but things start to go off the rails a little bit toward the end of the segment. (audio at the beginning courtesy of the 1980s and YouTube) 68:48 - 88:28 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling segment). Which way are the boys going in Bears-Rams? What are expert sharp Rick Feelsmen's three hot hot picks for the week during the segment within the segment Hamm's N Spreads (76:30 - 82:01)? Anything else catching Dan Doinks eye to win us all some hot cash? And why do Subway sandwich shops smell so weird? (audio at the end courtesy of one of the Batman movies) 88:29 - 97:27 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football advice). Who are the top two recommended plays of Zero Doinks for Monday's Bears-Rams game? Who gets the weekly Tayson Hill trash fantasy player award presented by Glad? 97:28 - 115:11 - Fans N Eggs (Bears fan interview segment). The boys visit Diego in Mexico (@dandarzae) as he talks about the red hot Bears fan club he is part of in Monterrey. How many Bears fans are there in his area? Ever been to Chicago? Do they serve Hamm's in his area? 115:12 - 115:42 - How to follow Zero Doinks on the interwebs. 115:43 - 125:16 - Big Ten Minute (Big Ten football/basketball segment). B1G football is back this weekend! The Illini kick things off in Madison and the Gophers host Michigan and ESPN Gameday. What are these squad's prospects in 2020? 125:17 - 133:57 - Outro thoughts. Did you say you were boycotting the NFL for whatever your reasons were? Grow up, you're not welcomed back now that the Bears are obviously Super Bowl-bound. Just grow up and stop being such a baby. 133:58 - END - Such Great Heights (Bear Down Now) victory song courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, their children, and originally Postal Service, of course. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

An incredible win at home against Tom Brady's Bucs gives the 4-1 Bears a winning feeling heading into Week 6 and inspired Zero Doinks to debut a brand new Bears victory song. The boys of Zero Doinks review Thursday night's victory while looking toward Sunday's clash against the red hot Carolina Panthers, including gambling angles and predictions as well as fantasy football advice. Fans N Eggs visits Ames, Iowa, this week with college football expert Matthias (@MatthiasWRNL). Bill takes a few moments to bury the memory of former White Sox manager Ricky Renteria and pitching coach Don Cooper. Plus much more! 0:00 - 4:00 - World premiere of the exclusive Zero Doinks Chicago Bears victory song Such Great Heights (Bear Down Now) (courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, children of both Coach Cuse and Bill Doinks as well as original song performed by Postal Service) 04:01 - 05:11 - What's on tap this episode? 05:12 - 49:19 - Bears-Bucs review. How good are these Bears? Is Nagy okay? Should we expect more of Foles? Who gets the Cornish Hen Chicago Bears Player of the Week as voted on by our past Fans N Eggs guests? (sound courtesy of Fox Sports) 49:20 - 50:09 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 50:10 - 81:18 - Bears-Panthers preview. Dan Doinks walks us through the weird staff and front office of Carolina and Bill Doinks reflects on his trip to Charlotte for Bears-Panthers in 2003 and some hotel room weirdness. Hubba Hubba. (sound courtesy of the interwebs) 81:19 - 98:38 - Hamms N Bread with Rick Feelsmen visiting for Hamms N Spreads. What gambling angles are in store for this week's Bears game plus what else looks intriguing throughout the league. Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot hot picks as he is back on track as Mister Two and One. 98:39 - 99:08 - Where can you find us on the interwebs? 99:09 - 115:49 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Which Bears should you insert into your lineups this week for fantasy football cash? Things get weird per usual. 115:50 - 146:53 - Fans N Eggs. This Bears fan interview segment visits Iowa this week and @MatthiasWRNL, a college football expert and writer for Iowa State's SB Nation site. Matthias talks about David Montgomery, some future QB and skill position options for the Bears plus tons more. 146:54 - END - The outro words touch on Ricky Renteria's firing from the White Sox and some hot trolling from Dan Doinks about who the Sox might be targeting for the job. How did Bill's marathon go? Plus more weirdness. The outro concludes with another taste of some Such Great Heights (Bear Down Now) and we love you for listening --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Woof, that was a forgettable offensive performance against the Colts, eh? The Bears finish the first quarter of the year 3-1 and try to rebound quickly with a short week as Tom Brady and the 3-1 Bucs visit Soldier Field on Thursday night. The boys of Zero Doinks go over what went wrong versus Indy and explore how they can bounce back against Tampa. Gambling and fantasy football angles are explored and Rick Feelsmen tries to bounce back from a rough 0-3 weekend at the window during Hamms N Spreads. Dan and Bill Doinks hop over the pond to visit Mike in England for this week's Fans N Eggs. The White Sox and the Cubs 2020 seasons experience a post mortem during Hamms N Ted. Plus much more! 0:00 - 4:20 - A smorgasbord of sound plus what's on tap in this episode of Zero Doinks (sound courtesy of the Chicago Bears, CBS, Pro Football Focus, Bears Postgame Live with David Kaplan; music by Faith No More 'Everything's Ruined') 4:21 - 41:49 - Bears-Colts review. Does Nagy stink at playcalling? What's up with special teams? Is C Patt overrated? Where is Cole Kmet? Can't blame the defense, right? Philip Rivers is annoying. Who wins the first ever Cornish Hen Player of the Game? 41:50 - 42:38 - How can you become the next Zero Doinks? 42:39 - 62:39 - Bears-Bucs preview. Dan Doinks walks us through Tampa's red hot coaching staff and front office as Tom Brady's Bucs come to town on a short week (audio courtesy of CBS, Bears Postgame Live and the Bucs song from the interwebs) 62:40 - 79:56 - Hamms N Bread sports gambling segment. What to make of the Bears +5.5 against Tampa. Rick Feelsmen visits for the world's first segment-within-a-segment, Hamms N Spreads (68:46 - 73:06), and tries to get back on track after an 0-3 week. 79:57 - 93:58 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football chatter). Who would the boys recommend for their clicks to pick this week from the Bears incredible offense? This segment always gets super weird so hang on tight. 93:59 - 123:56 - Fans N Eggs (Bears fan interview segment). Zero Doinks visits Billinge, England, this week to chat with Mike. Are the Bears red hot across the pond? Do they sell Hamm's in England? What genre will Mike visit next as an esteemed author? 123:57 - 139:49 - Hamms N Ted (Chicago baseball talk). Both the White Sox and Cubs lost in the Wild Card round of the 2020 baseball playoffs. The boys do a post mortem and look toward what changes could be in play in 2021. 139:50 - 140:19 - Where you can find us on the dark web 140:20 - END - Bill has a big weekend ahead of him and a warm message for a friend of the program. (outro instrumental music courtesy of Coach Cuse; outro finishing music courtesy of Bill Doinks and daughter of Bill Doinks) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

So much to talk about this week as the Bears start 3-0 after an improbable comeback in Atlanta. Nick Foles is the story, though, as Mitch Trubisky is benched. The boys talk all about the win itself and what Coach Nagy's QB decision means for the rest of the season. Kenny from ATL visits to discuss how it was hosting a bunch of Falcons fans during the Bears win as Fans N Eggs visits both Georgia, and later in the show, Payton in South Dakota. What's the story with the 2-1 Indianapolis Colts this year? Dan Doinks explores their roster and coaching staff as only he can. Bill Doinks had a wild ride on DraftKings that he must relay and Rick Feelsmen tries to bounce back from a 1-2 week during the segment within a segment, Hamms N Spreads. Fantasy football angles are explored during Bears Fantasy Corner. Plus - it's playoff baseball time as both the Cubs and White Sox made it to the postseason. Plus tons more in this loaded episode of Zero Doinks. 0:00 - 2:22 - Highlights from Bears-Falcons (courtesy of Fox, chicagobears.com and TK N CASH) 2:23 - 3:43 - What's on tap this episode? 3:44 - 43:49 - Recap of Bears-Falcons. BDN in for Mitch. One of the greatest comebacks in NFL history. Mack and Hicks are back. Has the ceiling changed for this team? 43:50 - 73:26 - Fans N Eggs fan interview with Kenny in ATL. Our guy Kenny walks us through what it was like hosting a party for Falcons fans during last Sunday's game plus we learn about Kenny's life experiences and his love for the Illini. 73:27 - 74:15 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 74:16 - 92:32 - Bears-Colts preview. Dan walks us through the Colts-Bears history and makes fun of their coaching staff, basically. (Audio entering the segment courtesy of CBS) 92:33 - 115:21 - Hamms N Bread sports gambling segment. Which way are the boys leaning for Bears-Colts? Bill had a wild ride on DraftKings that he needs to talk about. Dan has more teasers to wet your whistle. Rick Feelsmen pops in for Hamms N Spreads (106:09 - 110:28) as he tries to bounce back from a 1-2 week. Bill's TV was damaged by his son. 115:21: 115:51 - Where you can find us on social media. 115:52 - 125:15 - Bears Fantasy Corner. What two hot Bears offensive players should you scoop up off the waiver wire this week? Things get off the rails talking about the Saints. 125:16 - 143:59 - Hamms N Ted baseball talk. Both Chicago baseball teams are in the playoffs. How are the boys handicapping the Cubs and White Sox chances in round one? 144:00 - 158:18 - Fans N Eggs fan interview segment. The boys hit the road again, visiting Payton in South Dakota. 158:18 - 158:48 - Headcount gets out the vote. Are you registered? 158:49 - END - Outro. Gale Sayers passed away. Is Bill a big debate guy? Bubble leagues NHL and NBA are wrapping up well. (Music entering and exiting the segment are courtesy of Coach Cuse; BDN quotes are courtesy of the interwebs) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app · Charity Promotion: HeadCount: The goal of this initiative is to increase voter registration and encourage your listeners to get the vote out during the 2020 General Election this November. https://www.headcount.org/ Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The Bears are 2-0 after hanging on at home against the Giants. The boys will give their thoughts on the game, a heated debate over Mitch's performance and expectations, as well as take a look at next week's visit to Atlanta. Lots of sports gambling to chat about during Hamms N Bread and Hamms N Spreads as Rick Feelsmen's hot hand continues. Who do the boys like this week for Bears fantasy football plays? The Cubs and Sox are gearing up for next week's baseball playoff start and the Big Ten is coming back so Gophers and Illini fans rejoice! Plus much more. 0:00 - 01:39 - Highlights from Week 2 courtesy of CBS (other audio was c/o Big Blue Nation and Undefeated music by KB) 01:40 - 02:53 - What's on tap for this week's Zero Doinks? 02:54 - 47:57 - Review of Week 2's win over the New York Giants. David Montgomery is a beast. Pro Football Focus loved the Bears offensive line and, against all odds, Mitch Trubisky. Dan and Bill debate the merits of Mitch's play through two weeks. Three key plays swayed the game. How about the defense and how do you pronounce rookie Jaylon Johnson's name? We laugh at the Vikings and Kirk Cousins because it's fun. 47:58 - 48:47 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks 48:48 - 67:04 - Preview of Bears-Falcons Week 3. Dan Doinks walks us through the roster and front office of Atlanta. Are you a Home Depot guy? Segment intro music courtesy of Coach Cuse (Party Soft). 67:05 - 90:34 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling talk). Is one of the Doinks going against the Bears this week? William Hill's virtual sports book just opened in Illinois and yeesh, too many hoops to jump through. Exclusive Zero Doinks gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot NFL picks during Hamm's N Spreads (79:22 - 84:38) and he has some choice words for a a number of people. Dan Doinks has a couple of teasers to throw at the audience and we love Tallysight. 90:35 - 104:21 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football talk). Who is leading through two weeks and who will the boys angle for during Week 3? Will Bill pick Mitch for three straight games? This segment always goes off the rails and this week is no different. 104:22 - 104:59 - Learn more about your local candidates during this voting season via Ballot Ready. 105:00 - 112:00 - Hamm's N Ted (baseball talk). Dan the Cubs fan is nervous. Bill the White Sox fan is also nervous. Playoffs start next week! 112:01 - 123:04 - The Big Ten Minute (B1G talk). Football will be back October 24th for the Big Ten Conference! How are the Gophers and Illini looking? Also Bill has a NCAA basketball update as his Top 10 Illini will be starting the year during Thanksgiving week. 123:05 - 123:35 - Where to follow Zero Doinks on the interwebs 123:36 - END - Outro. The Bulls hired Billy Donovan out of nowhere. Robert Kraft gets off both with and without his pants. Dan Doinks remembers a peculiar trip to Atlanta. Listen to Coach Cuse's full version of Party Soft after the outro music. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app · Charity Promotion: HeadCount: The goal of this initiative is to increase voter registration and encourage your listeners to get the vote out during the 2020 General Election this November. https://www.headcount.org/ Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

A stunning comeback led by three fourth quarter TD passes from Mitch Trubisky gets the Bears their first Week 1 win since 2013. The boys discuss the highs and lows from Coach Nagy's fifth straight win over the Detroit Lions since he was hired and Zero Doinks jump right into Week 2's home opener against the 0-1 New York Giants. Hamm's N Bread highlights which way the boys lean gambling-wise with the Bears-Giants game and resident gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen chimes in for his top three tips during Hamms N Spreads. New Jersey is the destination for the incredible story of Ed in South Jersey (@Stage4Thriver) for a Fans N Eggs interview and Bears Fantasy Corner returns with more fantastic fantasy football advice. With less than two weeks left in baseball season and two playoff-bound Chicago teams, the boys briefly discuss the diamond during Hamms N Ted. Plus much more! Thank you to Fox TV, ESPN, Lions radio and Barstool Sports for some assorted bumper audio clips. 0:00 - 2:28 - Highlights from the Bears win over Detroit courtesy of Fox 2:29 - 3:39 - What's on tap this week on Zero Doinks? 3:40 - 35:00 - Review of Bears-Lions. 4th quarter Mitch shocked and awed. Defense was blah but Jaylon Johnson looked awesome. Issues brewing with Allen Robinson's contract situation? Thank you for allowing Zero Doinks to last 40 episodes, many more to come 35:01 - 36:07 - Dick Stockton's boners from Sunday's game 36:08 - 49:53 - Preview of Week 2's home opener against the New York Giants. Dan walks us through the new-look Giants coaching staff and we have a lot of laughs at some of the weird names that pop up, such as Brett Bielema 49:54 - 50:42 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks 50:43 - 72:00 - Hamm's N Bread sports gambling segment. Bragging on Rick Feelsmen's behalf about his top status on Tallysight after Week 1's NFL slate. PointsBet virtual sportsbook comes to Illinois and it seems pretty bad thus far. Resident gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen stops in for his three winners of the week during Hamm's N Spreads (60:14 - 65:49) and Dan Doinks offers his teasers of the week 72:01 - 89:51 - Bears Fantasy Corner fantasy football talk. The boys give their two can't-miss picks for who you should start this week out of the Bears offensive lineup. Things go off the rails a couple of times, this got super weird but worth a listen as Bill has a confession he needs to get off his chest 89:52 - 119:01 - Fans N Eggs fan interview segment. This week's Bears fan guest comes to us from South New Jersey and Ed (@Stage4Thriver) has an unbelievable and inspirational story you are not going to want to miss. What an absolute bad ass 119:02 - 119:32 - Where to find us on the interwebs 119:33 - 127:10 - Hamm's N Ted baseball talk. White Sox are still tops in the AL. Cubs had a no hitter this weekend and are still leading the NL Central. What's not to love? 127:11 - END - Outro which includes a tease about the potential B1G football season ramping up again. A tiny bit of basketball talk and more kudos for Ed from New Jersey and thank yous to hand out to many. Stick around for some Lions pain after the outro music --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The 2020 season has arrived and Mitch Trubisky has beaten Nick Foles out for the starting job heading into Week 1 at Detroit. How does the matchup with the Lions shape up? Any surprise starters for Chicago? Big gambling partnership announcement during Hamm's 'N Bread and Rick Feelsmen returns for his unique perspective during Hamm's 'N Spreads. Bears Fantasy Corner makes a triumphant return. The boys of Zero Doinks visit Abdallah in Detroit (follow him on Twitter @Abzz_6) for another fan interview during Fans 'N Eggs. A smidge of baseball talk as both Chicago franchises head into the stretch run in first place. Plus much more! 0:00 - 06:50 - Dan and Bill imagine what preseason game four would have been like in Nashville 06:51 - 08:11 - What's on tap this episode of Zero Doinks? 08:12 - 50:23 - Bears-Lions Week 1 preview. Obligatory Mitch vs. Foles talk (relax Sun-Times, jeez). Changes in the starting lineup versus Week 1 in 2019. Nagy history against the Lions. Bears depth improvement. What are Detroit's 2020 expectations? 50:24 - 74:55 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling talk). Zero Doinks has an exciting announcement about a new partnership with Tallysight. Which direction are the boys going in Bears (+3) at Detroit? Rick Feelsmen returns for Hamm's 'N Spreads and gives his three can't miss NFL picks (57:08 - 61:17). Other NFL games of interest throughout the league. Dan talks about teasing some games which makes sense. Rick Feelsmen almost gets in trouble with DraftKings. 74:56 - 75:45 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 75:46 - 89:02 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football talk). The triumphant return of a segment that was murdered halfway through Season 1. Which two Bears should be in your fantasy football starting lineup this weekend? Shoutout to GreaseTank Racing. 89:03 - 115:23 - Fans N Eggs (Bears fan interview). The boys visit Bears fan Abdallah (@Abzz_6) in Detroit, Michigan, for this week's fan interview. Abdallah walks us through his best recommendations for coaching 8th grade football, his disdain for economics class, his Madden strategies, his smack talk with Lions fan friends and much more. 115:24 - 115:54 - Where you can follow us on the interwebs 115:54 - 119:48 - Hamm's 'N Ted (baseball talk). The Sox and Cubs are still in first place. We breeze through this segment because it's football time. 119:49 - 138:51 - Outro. A little more horse talk I think? Dan finally fulfills a promise to Bill from a few episodes ago and the boys discuss what they might do if faced with a sultry extraterrestrial, possibly named Linda Lips. We are pumped for Bears season. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks are pumped up as the regular season is less than two weeks away as they imagine what game three of the preseason would have been like against the 49ers. Nagy doesn't yet name a starting quarterback which is ... weird? Will the Bears shop for a real running back now that they know Montgomery's injury isn't as bad as originally thought? Fans 'N Eggs returns with a visit to a Bears fan in Ohio (@greasetank). Hamm's 'N Ted returns with some baseball talk about two first place Chicago franchises. Hamm's 'N Bread talks about FanDuel having their Sportsbook app up and running in the state of Illinois and Rick Feelsmen pops in for his segment within a segment, Hamm's 'N Spreads. Plus much more! 0:00 - 10:08 - The boys imagine how preseason game number three versus San Francisco would have gone 10:09 - 11:28 - What's on tap this episode? 11:29 - 40:44 - Bears Talk - why hasn't Matt Nagy picked a starting QB for week one yet? David Montgomery's injury isn't as bad as we thought but should the Bears still pursue some RB depth, especially with Leonard Fournette on the market? What is the local media saying about who is rising the depth chart ranks this preseason? 40:45 - 41:33 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 41:34 - 60:17 - Fan's 'N Eggs (fan segment) - with Bears fan Frank from Ohio (@greasetank) 60:18 - 68:21 - Hamm's 'N Ted (baseball segment) - two first place teams in the city of Chicago; Sox stand pat at the trade deadline while the Cubs make a series of moves 68:22 - 68:53 - Where can you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs? 68:54 - 86:14 - Hamm's 'N Bread (sports gambling segment) - FanDuel SportsBook is now up and running in the state of Illinois. What do the boys think about all of the free moneys coming their way? Rick Feelsmen stops in for his sharp angles and gives you his three winners of the week during the segment within a segment, Hamm's 'N Spreads (76:09 - 80:52) 86:15 - END - Outro - Dan has some horse racing questions and the boys talk a little fantasy football as Week 1 inches ever so close --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks visit Brian from Montana (@BHogan80) this week for another fan interview in Fans 'N Eggs. David Montgomery gets hurt in training camp - how long is he out and what's the plan? The White Sox take two of three against the Cubs which is followed up by a Lucas Giolito no hitter. Sports gambling rages on in Illinois as DraftKings Casino is now accessible via your phone. Gambling expert Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen) offers three winners on Hamm's 'N Spreads. Hard Knocks makes Sean McVeigh out to be super weird. 00:00 - 10:33 - Bears at Broncos Preseason Game 2 (the boys imagine how the second preseason would have gone if not for the pandemic) 10:34 - 11:48 - What's on tap this episode of Zero Doinks? 11:49 - 30:28 - Bears and NFL Talk (David Montgomery gets hurt at practice so what's the plan behind him; Bears get a COVID-19 scare thanks to some false positives; media goes back and forth regarding the Mitch vs Foles battle) 30:29 - 31:18 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 31:19 - 52:06 - Fans 'N Eggs with Brian in Montana - fan interview (this week Zero Doinks packs up a trunk full of Hamm's and visits Bears fan @bhogan80 in Big Sky country) 52:07 - 72:54 - Hamm's 'N Ted - baseball talk (the Sox take two of three at Wrigley; Lucas Giolito pitches a no-no against Pittsburgh) 72:55 - 89:32 - Hamm's 'N Bread - sports gambling talk (DraftKings Casino app is up and running in Illinois much to the pleasure and surprise of Zero Doinks; segment within a segment - 79:48 - 85:48 - Hamm's 'N Spreads with gambling expert Rick Feeslmen offering you his top three picks of the week) 89:33 - 90:03 - Where can you find Zero Doinks online? 90:04 - END - Outro (Hard Knocks talk; Dan gets hung up with players who wear #2 in football) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks imagine how preseason game number one might have gone versus Cleveland. The Bears are wearing pads as training camp becomes real. Mitch versus BDN rages on. Fans 'N Eggs heads to South Carolina and huge Bears fan @_beardownloyal. Both the White Sox and Cubs are on pace to make postseason magic. America's favorite gambling segment has a new twist as wagering sharp and Bears journalist Rick Feelsmen gives you winning advice. B1G football appears delayed until Spring 2021 thanks to Covid-19. As the recording of this episode was happening, former See Me After Class victim Thom Brennaman is caught saying a bigoted slur into a hot Cincinnati Reds mic and we discuss his off-the-cuff apology. 0:00 - 10:24 - Imagining Bears-Browns preseason game one 10:25 - 11:40 - What's on tap tonight for S2Ep12 11:41 - 34:21 - Bears and NFL chatter (pads are on and the Bears look amazing; QB competition; slowly-developing Halas Hall version of Hard Knocks; Artie Burns tears a knee; tight ends look so good) 34:22 - 52:49 - Fans 'N Eggs visits @_beardownloyal in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for some Bears talk with a huge Bears and Zero Doinks fan 52:50 - 53:39 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 53:40 - 73:27 - Hamm's 'N Ted baseball talk (Cubs and White Sox both on track for the playoffs; Sox need to stop getting injured; Dan expresses his love for David Ross; a gentlemen's wager comes to life for the upcoming Cubs-Sox series) 73:28 - 86:48 - Hamm's 'N Bread sports gambling talk (Rick Feelsmen visits to insert his new segment, Hamm's 'N Spreads, from 78:36 - 86:03) 86:49 - 87:18 - How can you follow Zero Doinks? 87:19 - 109:44 - Big Ten Minute (the B1G announces football is postponed until Spring 2021; Dan expresses some anger and sadness about the potential loss of a championship-contending Minnesota Gophers squad) 109:45 - END - Wrapping up this hot episode (addressing Thom Brennaman's slur; Dan talks about getting high in Missouri; how awkward was Sean McVeigh in Hard Knocks Ep 1; a little bit of Selling Sunset talk; John Lithgow back on an HBO show) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Dan Doinks's dream of no more Adam Shaheen is realized as the Bears swap the failed former second-rounder to Miami for a conditional 6th round pick. Training camp is ramping up but without Eddie Goldman. How will Chicago's defense adjust to losing the star NT? Hamm's 'N Ted takes a look at how the Cubs and White Sox are shaping up. Fans 'N Eggs travels across the country to meet another Bears fan in this segment all about you, the Bears and Zero Doinks fan. Hamm's 'N Bread has some hot criticism toward how the state of Illinois is handling competing sports gambling apps. The Big Ten Minute returns as Bill gets to crow about his beloved Illini hoops team and their 2020-21 prospects. Plus more! 0:00 - 02:03 - What's happening on this episode of Zero Doinks? 02:04 - 33:17 - Bears Talk - Adam Shaheen traded. Eddie Goldman opting out. Other NFL players of note who won't play in 2020. Pace and Nagy brag about how safe Halas Hall is. Mitch vs. Foles. The penis of Nick Foles. Virginia McCaskey's sin bin. 33:18 - 34:07 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks 34:08 - 53:43 - Hamm's 'N Ted baseball talk - Cubs in first place. Sox starting to play well. Ricky Renteria is the worst. Luis Robert is the best. Kris Bryant has diarrhea. 53:44 - 01:07:56 - Fans 'N Ted fan segment - Zero Doinks visits active Air Force serviceman Mark Hamann in Fayetteville, North Carolina 01:07:57 - 01:19:56 - Hamm's 'N Bread gambling segment - DraftKings Sports Book inches ever so close to being legal. Dan has hockey gambling advice for the audience. A group wager could go a long way to paying some bills. 01:19:57 - 01:20:16 - How to follow Zero Doinks on social media 01:20:17 - 01:33:26 - Big Ten Minute - Bill kicks back to celebrate the return of Ayo Dosunmu and Kofi Cockburn to the future national champion Illini hoops team. Iowa football has some issues. Michigan doctor gets a bit diddly and fiddly. 01:33:27 - END - Outro - Did Dan Doinks get high and watch Unsolved Mysteries? Golfing shirtless at Cog Hill. Tramp stamp talk. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

With the NFL on the verge of re-opening, the boys imagine a world in which the Bears enjoy a victorious 2020 season. Hamm's 'N Ted returns with some red hot Sox and Cubs talk as baseball takes center stage. A new explosive fan segment debuts with Phil from Indiana. Hamm's 'N Bread offers some red hot sports gambling tips and news. See Me After Class returns with a SMAC all over the face of Clay Travis. Plus much more! 00:00 - 02:58 - What's in store this episode? 02:59 - 18:15 - Bears and NFL Talk - training camp is soon we think? (how to become the next Zero Doinks on Anchor) 18:16 - 34:53 - Fans 'N Eggs (interviews with worldwide Bears fans) - Phil from Indiana 34:54 - 50:06 - Hamm's 'N Ted (baseball talk) - opening day anticipation for the Chicago Cubs and White Sox 50:07 - 67:41 - Hamm's 'N Bread (sports gambling talk) - epic EPL rant by Dan Doinks 67:42 - 81:42 - See Me After Class (media criticism) - Clay Travis sucks so hard 81:43 - 102:15 - Outro - Dan Doinks talks about a documentary about the All Blacks, Bill Doinks discusses Jeffrey Epstein and Michelle McNamara documentaries  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

Lots has happened since we last recorded and we are here to talk all about it but first ... why have the Bears gotten such a bad rap this offseason? American's favorite gambling segment, Hamm's 'N Bread, features actual sports gambling news and insight! The debut of a new baseball segment, Hamm's 'N Ted, looks at the Cubs and White Sox prospects for a shortened 2020 season. See Me After Class revisits a Fall 2019 target which doxxed a popular but racist sports media personality and the boys show their support and love for Black Lives Matter while figuring out how to best help with change as a couple of dough-y and paste-y nearly 40 year old white men. 0:00 - 05:35: What's in store this episode? 05:35 - 06:26: Learn how to do a podcast on Anchor 06:26 - 43:21: Bears and NFL Talk | national Bears disrespect; Mitch (finally) speaks to media and the boys revisit Mitch versus Nick; Soldier Field with 20% capacity, maybe? Rumors of Chicago without a Bears stadium in 13 years; Cam signs with the Patriots so everyone hates Ryan Pace again 43:22 - 66:31: Hamm's 'N Bread | sports gambling is now legal on your phone in Illinois; what have the boys lost money on thus far; Rick Feelsmen future podcast teaser; NBA and NHL futures leading to some NBA playoffs bubble talk 66:31 - 67:12: Where can you slip into the DMs of Zero Doinks online? 67:12 - 93:29: Hamm's 'N Ted | new baseball segment talking White Sox and Cubs; any surprises on the initial summer camp rosters? Will either Chicago team be playoff bound? 93:29 - 112:37: See Me After Class intro | Zero Doinks hates racists; looking for ways we can help as a couple of ugly middle-aged white dudes while struggling to be not preachy; if you are a racist you probably aren't going to like this segment or Zero Doinks in general, fair warning 112:37 - 120:12: See Me After Class | sports broadcasting legend Brent Musburger gets exposed (again) as a racist (replay from Season 1) 120:12 - 145:02: Outro | a huge tournament starts on the 4th of July - does Dan know what it is? Dan pelts Bill with random questions as the boys come down from the previous two segments; Bill's daughter closes out the show --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zerodoinks/support

In this jam-packed episode, the boys of Zero Doinks welcome three special guests plus additional surprise appearances that you'll have to hear. CEO of Move The Chains and huge Vikings fan Dustin (@thatvikingsfan and @firstdownmarker) joins the boys for a chat on Hamm's 'N Eggs. Marble sharp and the guru of gambling Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen) pops in for America's favorite gambling segment, Hamm's 'N Bread. See Me After Class returns with a scathing look at one of the Chicago Tribune's beat reporters. Gray Balls GM and Head Coach Cuse discusses the secrets to maintaining a winning culture for a 35+ men's intramural basketball consolation bracket defending champion. The Last Dance is over - did Zero Doinks enjoy the 10-part Michael Jordan documentary? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks wonder if the 2020 Bears can compete for the #1 seed in the NFC as they take an early look at the recently-released schedule. Weird 2017 draft controversies about Deshaun Watson rear their ugly heads as Ryan Pace is kinda accused of being a QB racist by a college basketball journalist. Hamm's 'N Bread sprays to all fields as sports seem to be inching ever closer to re-emerging despite the frustrating pandemic that has swept the land. Plus lots of red hot surprises on this episode of Zero Doinks. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

In this episode we are starting off with the Chicago Bears, going through wins and losses, guaranteed wins and losses, longest win streaks and longest losing streaks. All joined by Zero Doinks, a Chicago Bears podcast! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/movethechains/support

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The boys reveal who they want the Bears to pick this week in the 2020 NFL Draft as well as who they think the Bears will actually pick. Zero Doinks reveals the rules to their red hot mock draft contest. Dan Wiederer wrote a dumb column in the Chicago Tribune about Ryan Pace's draft history that forces the boys to dive deeeep into recent Bears draft history. Hamm's 'N Bread exposes a new sports film that Dan Doinks jumped into. Lastly, Zero Doinks gives their initial thoughts on episode one and two of The Last Dance, ESPN's 10 part documentary on the 1997-1998 Chicago Bulls final dynasty year. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

The boys are back to kick off Season Two during Super Bowl week. Zero Doinks dives into the Chiefs-49ers matchup, including gambling angles, but first they look at all of the Bears' happenings since New Year's Day. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Despite an empty 2019 Bears season, the boys of Zero Doinks had many memorable Season 1 moments which you can enjoy here --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Listen to the two Season 1 sessions of the boys of Zero Doinks and their better halves --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Enjoy the hot takes of Zero Doinks on local and national media members during these 11 segments of See Me After Class from Season 1 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Season One of Zero Doinks wraps up with a look at the Week 17 Bears win over Minnesota and reflection on the season as well as a look ahead to 2020, predictions for the 2019 playoffs and much more --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

The boys spent Sunday in Green Bay and lived to tell the tale. The Bears may have been eliminated from postseason consideration but Zero Doinks has no quit in them. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

The boys of Zero Doinks want you to know they are pumped and may or may not have just crossed the Wisconsin border. Enjoy this bonus mini episode and go Bears, beat Green Bay! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Excitement reigns as Zero Doinks preps for a road trip to Lambeau Field as the Bears are still alive in the playoff hunt --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

A big Thanksgiving win at Detroit gives Zero Doinks hope as the Bears welcome Dallas to town this week. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

The boys are tipsy as they review a Bears win over NY; Chi heads to Detroit for Turkey Day; See Me After Class returns plus the Gophers have a shot at a B1G title --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

America's hottest feature "Estrogen 'N Eggs" makes its return as the ladies of Zero Doinks put the boys on the hot seat. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

QB weirdness but the Bears are 3-1 heading to London to play Oakland; Zero Doinks breaks it all down plus the return of See Me After Class and much more --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

As the boys lick their Bears-Packers wounds, Zero Doinks explores the Week 2 Bears-Broncos matchup and offers sage gambling advice --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Zero Doinks is on the mend after Chicago's brutal Week 1 loss to the Packers --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Previewing Episode 5 which will drop very, very soon --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support

Can we bury the Double Doink for good? Dan and Bill discuss Bears angst headed into the 2019 preseason --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zero-doinks/support