Podcast appearances and mentions of bob russell

¿Quiere ser más agradecido? Bob Russell, expastor de la iglesia Southeast Christian Church en Louisville, Kentucky, nos cuenta cómo servir a los “menos afortunados” puede alentar la gratitud. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

¿Quiere ser más agradecido? Bob Russell, expastor de la iglesia Southeast Christian Church en Louisville, Kentucky, nos cuenta cómo servir a los “menos afortunados” puede alentar la gratitud. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

¿Cómo vivimos en contentamiento? Bob Russell, expastor de la iglesia Southeast Christian Church en Louisville, Kentucky, se dirige a hombres y mujeres sobre la importancia de ser agradecidos. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

¿Cómo vivimos en contentamiento? Bob Russell, expastor de la iglesia Southeast Christian Church en Louisville, Kentucky, se dirige a hombres y mujeres sobre la importancia de ser agradecidos. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

All this month we have been unpacking the Bible's answers for coping with rising spiritual floodwaters. As we have considered how to NOT drown in these overwhelming waves in life, it does beg the question; what about suffering? Is it from God, is suffering the result of sin, is it just the natural consequence of our actions? Does God punish us? In today's message, Flood of Discipline, our teacher, Bob Russell, addresses this difficult subject. This month, our teacher, Bob Russell, has been unpacking how to deal with life when it gets overwhelming, much like the crush of Rising Spiritual Floodwaters. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. Today, Bob couples a wayward, rebellious prophet from the Old Testament of the Bible with a passage from the Bible's New Testament to help us wrap our minds around suffering and how to face it. So, here's Bob to help us see the Flood of Discipline through Spiritual 3-D glasses. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

It has been observed that no people in history have had ever had more possessions, better health, or greater freedom than we, yet we complain about what we don't have. It's almost like many of us are drowning in the rising flood waters of discontent! Guess what; that is NOT God's design for our lives. This month, our teacher, Bob Russell, is unpacking the empowerment of believers, via the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. Just what would it take to make us content? Perhaps a refocusing of what is important in life and death? Something deeper than just physical things? Well here's Bob Russell to offer a spiritual rescue helicopter so to speak, to lift us out of the Flood of Discontent: To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

While there is an air of anticipation as we make our way into the new year; you know; new opportunities, new events, new projects, new resolutions. But, it is January and statistics tell us mental health challenges can be significant. The short days, the long winter CAN play into dimming our outlook, perhaps ever making us feel boxed in without a clear way out? This month, our teacher, Bob Russell, is unpacking the empowerment of believers via the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. In today's message, Bob tackles the Flood of Despair. God has made it clear that He will always walk beside those who believe and acknowledge Him; in this message Bob sheds light on three things we can do to cope with the threat or flood of despair. So, here's Bob Russell with a flashlight of hope, helping us see our rescuer in the Flood of Despair To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

While there is an air of anticipation as we make our way into the new year; you know; new opportunities, new events, new projects, new resolutions. But, it is January and statistics tell us mental health challenges can be significant. The short days, the long winter CAN play into dimming our outlook, perhaps ever making us feel boxed in without a clear way out? This month, our teacher, Bob Russell, is unpacking the empowerment of believers via the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. In today's message, Bob tackles the Flood of Despair. God has made it clear that He will always walk beside those who believe and acknowledge Him; in this message Bob sheds light on three things we can do to cope with the threat or flood of despair. So, here's Bob Russell with a flashlight of hope, helping us see our rescuer in the Flood of Despair To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

It has begun!, welcome to the New Year in some ways kinda exciting; envisioning new opportunities, new events, new projects that might lie ahead. At the same time, for some of us, the very thought of dealing with the New Year can be a monumental challenge. Maybe even a bit overwhelming, kind-a like being washed over by rising floodwaters?! This month, Bob Russell is unpacking the empowerment of believers through the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. Does it ever seem to you like bad people get ahead while good people endure hardship? Almost like there is a flood of evil rising all around you? Ever wonder; where is God in all this? In today's message Bob explains how it's not time yet for God to deal with all those who are evil, yet; He promises to sustain us through the flood. So, here's Bob to throw out a life preserver for your spirit To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

It has begun!, welcome to the New Year in some ways kinda exciting; envisioning new opportunities, new events, new projects that might lie ahead. At the same time, for some of us, the very thought of dealing with the New Year can be a monumental challenge. Maybe even a bit overwhelming, kind-a like being washed over by rising floodwaters?! This month, Bob Russell is unpacking the empowerment of believers through the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. Does it ever seem to you like bad people get ahead while good people endure hardship? Almost like there is a flood of evil rising all around you? Ever wonder; where is God in all this? In today's message Bob explains how it's not time yet for God to deal with all those who are evil, yet; He promises to sustain us through the flood. So, here's Bob to throw out a life preserver for your spirit To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

The holidays will soon be over and then the New Year looms ahead. Kinda exciting, envisioning new opportunities, new events, new projects that might lie ahead. At the same time, for some, the very thought of dealing with the New Year can be a monumental challenge. Maybe even a bit overwhelming kind-a like being washed over by rising floodwaters?! This next month, Bob Russell will be unpacking the empowerment of believers through the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. Okay, ever had the feeling, like maybe you're drowning in a Flood of Doubt? In today's lesson Bob offers some practical steps in both identifying what's happening and how to combat it. So, here's Bob with a rescue boat in a flood with your name on it! To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

The holidays will soon be over and then the New Year looms ahead. Kinda exciting, envisioning new opportunities, new events, new projects that might lie ahead. At the same time, for some, the very thought of dealing with the New Year can be a monumental challenge. Maybe even a bit overwhelming kind-a like being washed over by rising floodwaters?! This next month, Bob Russell will be unpacking the empowerment of believers through the Holy Spirit during challenging times, such as when spiritual floodwaters rise. Bob Russell is a retired senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, where he served for 40 years as Southeast became one of the largest churches in America. Okay, ever had the feeling, like maybe you're drowning in a Flood of Doubt? In today's lesson Bob offers some practical steps in both identifying what's happening and how to combat it. So, here's Bob with a rescue boat in a flood with your name on it! To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

Bob Russell teaching on 1 Kings 19:1-8. Below are discussion questions from his teaching: When were you the most frightened as an adult what fears are ongoing? Does the fear of death haunt you?  Why? How has the Lord sustained you through fear?

With everything that is always going on around us, good OR bad, God's desire for us is all good! Most of all, God wants us to take on the image He designed just for us, one that resembles His image. Given where all of us start this requires a big, big change, perhaps better described as a complete makeover, re-imaged into who He designed us to be. This week our speaker is Bob Russell., This message is one shared by Bob during his 40-year ministry with Southeast Christian Church. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America is located in Louisville, Kentucky. This week's message; The Grace of Gratitude is a fitting conclusion to our series ReImaged. Have you ever noticed that some of the most thankful people are those who have the least? You might observe; the origin of a thankful heart is not so much special things that happens to us, as it is a conscious decision to appreciate the life God has given us. So, as we celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving, here's Bob Russell with a recipe for gratitude that can be, well, life changing! To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

With everything that is always going on around us, good OR bad, God's desire for us is all good! Most of all, God wants us to take on the image He designed just for us, one that resembles His image. Given where all of us start this requires a big, big change, perhaps better described as a complete makeover, re-imaged into who He designed us to be. This week our speaker is Bob Russell., This message is one shared by Bob during his 40-year ministry with Southeast Christian Church. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America is located in Louisville, Kentucky. This week's message; The Grace of Gratitude is a fitting conclusion to our series ReImaged. Have you ever noticed that some of the most thankful people are those who have the least? You might observe; the origin of a thankful heart is not so much special things that happens to us, as it is a conscious decision to appreciate the life God has given us. So, as we celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving, here's Bob Russell with a recipe for gratitude that can be, well, life changing! To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

We are now post-election. How are you feeling now that the election is over and a winner declared? Today, Brett reads a prayer from Bob Russell for America now. Let's continue to pray for America daily. Link to prayer: https://bit.ly/4hxagfj Share your stories, prayer requests, or your response to this devotional in the comments below. If you would like to know more about New Life, who we are, what we believe, or when we meet, visit http://newlife.church. Or you can fill out a digital connection card at http://newlife.church/connect - we would love to get to know you better!

We are now post-election. How are you feeling now that the election is over and a winner declared? Today, Brett reads a prayer from Bob Russell for America now. Let's continue to pray for America daily. Link to prayer: https://bit.ly/4hxagfj Share your stories, prayer requests, or your response to this devotional in the comments below. If you would like to know more about New Life, who we are, what we believe, or when we meet, visit http://newlife.church. Or you can fill out a digital connection card at http://newlife.church/connect - we would love to get to know you better!

Bob Russell teaching on 1 Kings 18:19-40.

This Week We Are Joined By... Bob Russell from Rochester Hearing and Speech Center full 1118 Fri, 25 Oct 2024 14:20:58 +0000 MYUZyXTesvpYDFmMwIjY1IlERjdDfjx2 music PXY Mornings with Moose and Breezy music This Week We Are Joined By... Bob Russell from Rochester Hearing and Speech Center Join Moose and Breezy as they discuss current trends, lifestyle and entertainment, and everything happening in Rochester. 2024 © 2021 Audacy, Inc. Music False https://pl

To what extent should Christians be engaged in politics? Do Christians have a responsibility to vote? And what if there are two bad choices at the top of the ticket? Joining us to discuss this issue further is pastor and author Bob Russell. Bob is the former pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, the author of a number of books, and has a mentorship ministry to younger pastors. To view CPC Election resources, including voter guides, candidate forums, and information on Amendment 2, go to www.commonwealthpolicycenter.org/24general If you would like to interview Richard Nelson, Executive Director of the Commonwealth Policy Center, please email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠richard@commonwealthpolicy.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Like and Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/commonwealthpolicy Follow us on Twitter: @CPC4Kentucky LinkedIn: Commonwealth Policy Center E-Newsletter: https://www.commonwealthpolicycenter.org/mailing-list/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/commonwealth-matters/support

“The ballot is stronger than the bullet” Abraham Lincoln. Democrat or Republican? Vote or No Vote? Biblical or political? About 63% of Americans voted in the 2020 election. That means about 37% didn't. What is a biblical perspective on voting? What if either candidate isn't very attractive to a voter? On this weeks show, Kurt and Chad welcome retired Pastor Bob Russell to talk through a biblical perspective on voting and what a vote decision process can look like for a Christian.

durée : 00:59:24 - " Do Nothin' till You Hear from Me " (Duke Ellington / Bob Russell) (1940) - par : Laurent Valero - "Un des grands thèmes de Duke Ellington composé en 1940. On le sait, une des caractéristiques du travail de compositeur d'Ellington était d'écrire sur mesure et c'est ici particulièrement vrai, puisqu'à l'origine cet instrumental fut dédié à Cootie Williams, son trompettiste vedette" Laurent Valero

durée : 00:59:24 - " Do Nothin' till You Hear from Me " (Duke Ellington / Bob Russell) (1940) - par : Laurent Valero - "Un des grands thèmes de Duke Ellington composé en 1940. On le sait, une des caractéristiques du travail de compositeur d'Ellington était d'écrire sur mesure et c'est ici particulièrement vrai, puisqu'à l'origine cet instrumental fut dédié à Cootie Williams, son trompettiste vedette" Laurent Valero

It's our favorite time of year! Summertime at The Compass Church! Join us as we hear from some friends of The Compass.This week Bob Russell, former pastor of Southeast Christian Church joins us to show us God's plan for keeping calm in troubling times.Let us know you're here! If you have a need or prayer request we can support you: thecompass.net/connectioncardIf you call The Compass your church home or you'd like to partner with us in what God is doing here, near, and far, you can visit thecompass.net/give

Sinatra and Billy May swing the Latin classic Brazil.  From the 1958 album, Come Fly With Me, here is Ary Barroso's hugely popular Samba Brazil . . . with English lyrics by Bob Russell. Credits:Theme music by Erik Blicker and Glenn SchlossEdited by Katie CaliMixing and mastering by Amit Zangi Send comments to sinatramatters@gmail.com

The Bible talks about how Jesus exemplified serving, sacrifice, and humbly following His Father's lead. But Jesus also demonstrated a strength of leadership that left those around Him in awe. Following Christ, the Apostle Peter picked up more than a few pointers about what makes a great leader, a great follower, these, he shares, in the 5th chapter of his book of 1st Peter. A Reason to Lead, A Reason to Follow is the 5th and final installment of this month's series of messages, entitled Finding Your Way in a Whatever World. The series was shared by Bob Russell during his 40-year ministry with Southeast Christian Church, located in Louisville, Kentucky. According to Peter, leadership, followership, can be best exemplified by taking a look at the relationship between a shepherd and his sheep. So here's Bob Russell with insights from Shepherds, sheep, and would you believe roaring lions? To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

If God Is all loving and all powerful why do bad things happen when you're trying to do things right? Why do the righteous suffer while the unrighteous prosper? Where is the justice of God? The apostle Simon Peter tackled these difficult questions when he wrote about the reason for suffering in 1 Peter chapter 4. A Reason to Suffer is part 4 of this month's series of messages, entitled Finding Your Way in a Whatever World. The series was shared by Bob Russell during his 40-year ministry with Southeast Christian Church. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America is located in Louisville, Kentucky. According to the Apostle Peter, pain comes from 5 sources So here's Bob Russell to help us unpack God's perspective for that pain, and helps give us insight to help deal with pain that puts plain ole' aspirin to shame! To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

Want to believe our lives have purpose? Many years ago the Apostle Peter wrote a book about the Life driven by purpose. You don't discover the meaning of your life looking within yourself or indulging in pleasure. You must begin with God, your creator. You were made by God and for God. And until we understand this, life doesn't make sense We were made to last forever! This series of messages, taken from the Bible's book of 1 Peter, is entitled Finding Your Way in a Whatever World. And the series was shared by Bob Russell during his 40-year ministry with Southeast Christian Church. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America is located in Louisville, Kentucky. So, trying to get a fix on the meaning, the purpose of life: Here's Bob Russell with a lesson on God's eternal purpose for our lives; more than just a reason to get out of bed in the morning, our ultimate reason for living, our reason for Hope! To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

There's more to the Christian life, than many believers are experiencing. Some folks are just satisfied with being saved, but, according to this month's speaker, Bob Russell; salvation is much more than just an eternal fire insurance policy. In fact, the apostle Peter contends in his book of 1 Peter; It isn't just about getting to heaven it's about getting heaven into you. This series of messages, taken from the Bible's book of 1 Peter, is entitled Finding Your Way in a Whatever World. And the series was shared by Bob Russell during his 40-year ministry with Southeast Christian Church. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America is located in Louisville, Kentucky. So, ready to dig a little deeper? here's Bob with 3 areas where deepening our spiritual roots can lead us to the abundant life that God wants to give us To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

What' your support system when life falls apart? What keeps you going when life gets desperate? This month our teacher, Bob Russell unpacks a letter of hope written to people living in times of despair. This series of messages, taken from the Bible's book of 1 Peter, is entitled Finding Your Way in a Whatever World. And the series was shared by Bob Russell during his 40 year ministry with Southeast Christian Church. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America is located in Louisville, Kentucky. In today's message from First Peter 1, the Apostle Peter opens his letter writing about the Christians ultimate hope in Christ. Peter contends followers of Christ are strangers in this world, citizens of another country, an eternal country and as such a Christian's roots shouldn't be too deep in this world. So, with 5 reasons for being positive and hopeful in a spiritually indifferent world. Here's Bob Russell To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Pastor Bob Russell | Stand Alone | Philippians 4:4-7 CONNECT WITH US Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mpccgreenwood Twitter: https://twitter.com/mpccgreenwood Instagram: https://instagram.com/mpccgreenwood Website: https://mpcc.info/

Welcome to episode 74 of The Waypoint Podcast! We are excited to bring you a practical conversation with a preacher who has been a cornerstone for the Christian church, Bob Russell. With 60 years of preaching experience there is no one better to have this conversation with Dyke and Rebecca,  as we talk about faithfully communicating the Gospel week after week!Learn more about what Bob is up tobobrussell.orgRegister for the Art of the Sermon Events atwaypointchurchpartners.com/eventsRemember you can always find us atwaypointchurchpartners.comFollow us atfacebook.com/WaypointChurchPartnersinstagram @waypointchurchpartnersThe Waypoint Podcast is hosted and produced by Dyke McCordhosted, produced, and edited by Rebecca HottIf you want to find out more about supporting Waypoint Church Plants head toiplantchurches.comRegister for future Waypoint Events or reach out to any of our Staff!

All through the month of December we have been taking in the good news brought to the shepherds by the Angels on the night of Jesus' birth. But here we are, following all the celebrations of Christmas, and like those shepherds on that incredible night so long ago, the question remains; what, now? This week we welcome a message by Bob Russell; After the Angels have Gone. Bob, served as the pastor of Southeast Christian Church for 40 years before retiring. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America, is located in Louisville, Kentucky. Feel the moment? The year is over, the holiday celebrations and visits are behind us and now 2024 ominously looms ahead. Do you find yourself wondering; wow, what now? I wonder?, I'd even bet, the shepherds, on the night of Jesus arrival felt something similar. So, with a road map gleaned from those shepherds of old of how to navigate from here, here is Bob Russell To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

In this week's edition of The Commonwealth Matters we are joined by Bob Russell, retired Senior Pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, to discuss how Christians should think about voting in the upcoming governor's election. If you would like to interview Richard Nelson, Executive Director of the Commonwealth Policy Center, please email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠richard@commonwealthpolicy.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. The Commonwealth Matters has moved to our new website at www.commonwealthpolicycenter.org . Please visit the new site to access the program. Like and Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/commonwealthpolicy Follow us on Twitter: @CPC4Kentucky LinkedIn: Commonwealth Policy Center E-Newsletter: https://www.commonwealthpolicycenter.org/mailing-list/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/commonwealth-matters/support

Breezy had the privilege to chat with Bob Russell from Rochester Hearing & Speech Center not only because he and the agency share a commitment to excellence, but also because of his personal experience. We talked about all things Rochester Hearing & Speech and the EPIC 80's party coming up November 4th at Photo City Music Hall! Grab your tickets here: CLICK HERE! Support the show: https://www.instagram.com/98pxyrochester/

Welcome to the Pinkleton Pull-Aside Podcast. On this podcast, let's step aside from our busy lives to have fun, fascinating life giving conversation with inspiring authors, pastors, sports personalities and other influencers, leaders and followers. Sit back, grab some coffee, or head down the road and let's get the good and the gold from today's guest. Our host is Jeff Pinkleton, Executive Director of the Gathering of the Miami Valley, where their mission is to connect men to men, and men to God. You can reach Jeff at GatheringMV.org or find him on Facebook at The Gathering of the Miami Valley.As a teenager in northwestern Pennsylvania, Bob Russell hoped to one day become the high school basketball coach for his alma mater. However, during his senior year of high school, Bob felt a yearning in his heart to enter the ministry. So, he enrolled at Cincinnati Bible Seminary and graduated in 1965. One year later, at age 22, Bob became the pastor of Southeast Christian Church, a newer church whose 120 members were still meeting in the basement of a house on the east side of Louisville, Kentucky. Forty years later, in 2006, Bob retired from Southeast, which had become one of the largest churches in America.Through Bob Russell Ministries, Bob continues preaching at churches and conferences throughout the United States, consulting on church leadership, and mentoring pastors. He is an accomplished author with over one-dozen books, including “After 50 Years of Ministry: 7 Things I'd Do Differently and 7 Things I'd Do the Same.”  He has written over 600 articles for his blog at BobRussell.org, and continues writing each week, offering Biblical guidance for contemporary issues.Bob and his wife Judy, of over fifty years, have two sons, Rusty and Phil, seven grandchildren, and one great-grandchild with one more on the way. Rusty is the Lead Pastor of the New Day Christian Church in Port Charlotte, Florida. Phil is a veteran police commander, and, having recently obtained a Ph.D., provides leadership and management consulting. Judy recently authored a book, Elbows on the Table, which encourages Christians to open their homes to others and suggests ways to entertain with little hassle. Bob enjoys playing golf and is an avid University of Louisville football and basketball fan.

Materialism is an idol that plagues the Western church today. Thankfully Jesus told a parable about a rich man with lofty goals to accumulate wealth. The foolish man primarily focused on himself and was neglectful towards God. Jesus reveals to us the folly in such an approach to life and God. 

Bob Russell speaks on Contagious Ambassadors

Guest Bios Show Transcript Victims of adult clergy sexual abuse often report that their first wound—the abuse itself—was awful. But it wasn't as bad as the second wound: the response by the church to their abuse.  This is precisely what Moriah Smothers and her husband, Jack, describe in a follow-up conversation to our initial podcast interview about the alleged abuse Moriah received at the hands of her former pastor, Patrick Garcia. In this podcast, Moriah tells of the shame and rejection she experienced from other church members when her abuse was mislabeled an “affair.” Some called her “Judas.” Others told her the devil had got the upper hand. The backlash left both Moriah and Jack devastated and confused.  Yet after a year of extreme pain and brokenness, Moriah heard an earlier edition of The Roys Report podcast with another victim of adult clergy sexual abuse. She said it led her to an epiphany and significant healing.  It also prompted Jack and Moriah to confront leaders at their former church—The Hills Church in Evansville, Ind.—for how they handled Moriah's abuse. The couple also reached out to Bob Russell, pastor emeritus of one of the largest churches in America, who is currently re-platforming Patrick Garcia.   You'll hear how Russell and the Hills Church responded. And you'll hear Moriah and Jack's impassioned plea for the church and other Christian institutions to start dealing with clergy sexual abuse in an appropriate way. Guests Dr. Moriah Smothers Dr. Moriah Smothers is an Associate Professor of Teacher Education and a former elementary special education teacher. She is also a survivor of adult clergy sexual abuse (ACSA). Dr. Jack Smothers is a Professor of Management and a secondary survivor. Their heart is to help other ACSA survivors find healing and community. They are passionate about educating church leaders to identify, prevent and respond to ACSA. They have two children and have been married for 15 years. You can connect with them at jackandmoriahsmothers@gmail.com. Moriah has also been affiliated with Restored Voices Collective, a nonprofit group that seeks to break the silence around ACSA. Show Transcript SPEAKERS JULIE ROYS, MORIAH SMOTHERS, JACK SMOTHERS, PAUL LINGE, JIM BURGEN JULIE ROYS 00:04 In 2020, Moriah Smothers says her spiritual and sexual abuse by her pastor was suddenly exposed. Only no one recognized it as abuse. Instead, it was labeled an affair, and Moriah was ostracized by her church. Welcome to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys, and this is part two of a two part podcast with Moriah Smothers and her husband Jack Smothers. In part one, Moriah told of what she believes was grooming and abused by her former pastor Patrick Garcia. And if you haven't heard part one, I encourage you to go back and listen to that now. It's a harrowing and cautionary tale about how adult clergy sexual abuse happens. And I wish more Christians understood this phenomenon because it's a widespread problem wreaking havoc in the church. But so often it goes undetected, and the victims instead of receiving help receive condemnation, and the predators often get re platformed only to continue their predatory ways. So again, if you haven't heard part one, I encourage you to do that now.

 But in this podcast, Moriah and Jack describe what is often called the second wound. This was the response of their church to Moriah's adult clergy sexual abuse, and the shame and the rejection that Moriah experienced was absolutely devastating. But you'll also hear how after a year of extreme pain and brokenness, Moriah heard an earlier podcast that we did on The Roys Report with another victim of adult clergy sexual abuse and hearing that podcast and recognizing that it wasn't an affair, but abuse led to a ton of healing. But it also prompted Jack and Moriah to confront the leaders at their former church, Hills church in Evansville, Indiana, for how they handled Maria's abuse. The couple also reached out to Bob Russell, Pastor Emeritus of one of the largest churches in America, who is currently re-platforming Patrick Garcia. You'll hear Bob Russell and the Hills church responded, and you'll hear Moriah and Jack's impassioned plea that the church and other Christian institutions start dealing with adult clergy sexual abuse in an appropriate way. So, I'm very excited to share this podcast with you. But first, I'd like to thank our sponsors, Judson University, and Marquardt of Barrington. If you're looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience, Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities, and strong financial aid. Plus, you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go to JUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you're looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity and transparency. That's because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt are men of integrity. To check them out, just go to BUYACAR123.COM. We now pick up my conversation with Moriah and Jack Smothers. They previously described how their pastor Patrick Garcia groomed Moriah and then abused his power by luring her into an emotional and sexual relationship. This was eventually discovered by Patrick's wife, who then told the church leadership. And this is where we join our discussion. So how did you feel the church responded to you, Moriah? MORIAH SMOTHERS 03:49 I don't want to over exaggerate this and I can share details. The abuse from my pastor was horrible. The way the church responded was 10 times more traumatizing than the abuse. I could have recovered from the abuse in a reasonable amount of time, I feel but the literature when you read about this, it calls it the second wound. And the first is that having just that abuse experience, but then the church response was really painful. I don't think the church had any knowledge of adult clergy sexual abuse. And so we were basically told again, through zoom, I think Dave was designated to be the person that communicates with us, nobody else really did, that they were going to release a statement. This is what the statement was. We were not involved in any of the processes the information. I did again, we thought we only had a fair narrative. We had no information about ACSA. And so I did send a text message. Jack and I thought it was a good idea at the time to some of the women I was really close to and I disclosed that this situation had to do with me. In hindsight that was not a good choice because of the way I worded it but oddly, one of the things I've struggled to recover the most from, were some of the communications from my very best friends from the church. And most of them were very involved in the church as well. And so one of the ones that has just stuck with me is when your identity is eviscerated, things just have the ability to sink really deep. One of them was calling me Judas and Patrick's wife at the time was like Jesus. A lot of them wrote, you need to get help, you really let the devil win was a common one I got. I'll never trust you again was often. And I will say those that were ugly, hurt, they hit really deep. I did get a few women to respond or just like I don't understand but I'm praying for you. And very little support from within the church. I do want to say that God was really I wouldn't have been able to make this big faith statement a year ago, but I realized now God was so good. He sent I didn't know this woman, but she was local. When she heard what was happening at the Hills. She is also a survivor. And she asked for my contact information from a mutual acquaintance. And she immediately got in contact with me and has mentored me, she didn't know about abuse either. But she and her husband made it and were thriving. But it was another abuse situation locally and just was such a good mentor to me. So, inside the church, the response was not supportive. It was not understanding. We were ostracized, basically. Even people we love dearly the extent of support was basically like, go get marriage counseling, and so not supportive. Outside the church, nobody we met understood ACSA. So I'm not saying that we still never got the language. But there were some people that were able to love on us. Our next-door neighbors, were just Jesus to us. This fellow survivor, my parents came around us very quickly. And so we did have some support that we you know, a lot of people don't have, so I want to acknowledge that. JULIE ROYS 07:04 Wow. Jack during this time, you and Moriah's parents met with Dave Bowersox and Daryl Maron. As I'm understanding that was a pretty tough meeting. Would you describe what happened in that meeting? JACK SMOTHERS 07:22 It was intense. But so Moriah's parents are wonderful, amazing Christians, they have invested a lot into Moriah and I, and we trust them, we love them. And so we felt that it would be good to take them along. And I'm glad that they went. They've done a lot of counseling in their life. And so they took resources, books, a variety of different resources to help Dave and Daryl in the Hills guard against situations like this occurring again. So they gave them those resources. And we talked through the situation, they shared some of the information that they had, such as you know, I was not aware at that point in time, of the May encounter that had happened at the zoo and police report. And since I was not allowed to come to that meeting with Moriah, I didn't have that information. MORIAH SMOTHERS 08:22 There's was an investigation. JACK SMOTHERS 08:23 There was an investigation. They hired an investigator to look into Patrick's devices to see if they could uncover anything. And I guess that went on throughout the summer. And when that didn't come up with anything that he was re platformed later on in that fall. JULIE ROYS 08:41 Help me understand this. And maybe I misheard you, you're saying there was an investigation, they looked at all the devices, and then they re platformed Patrick? JACK SMOTHERS 08:52 Yeah, The investigation came up with nothing, they did not find any communication. Their suspicion of communication. But they didn't find anything between Patrick and so this was after just to clarify, this was after the May event. JULIE ROYS 09:08 Got you. So in between the two? JACK SMOTHERS 09:10 There was that investigation that didn't come up with anything. When everything finally did come out, and what was that? September? October? That's when the meeting happened with Moriah's parents and myself and the pastors. JULIE ROYS 09:25 And is it true that Dave Bowersox confessed during that meeting that he was aware that Patrick had an attraction to Moriah? JACK SMOTHERS 09:34 That is true. So Dave's advice to Patrick was just get a handle on it, get it under control and resolve your old feelings, essentially. They felt like Patrick may have targeted Moriah, but they said that they felt like Moriah was complicit in that situation. Of course, they didn't understand at the time the ACSA framework and that complicity would not be possible in that situation. So it was high drama. JULIE ROYS 10:03 Stunning to me that seminaries don't teach this. It's against the law. I wish it was in more states, but in certain states, it is against the law for a pastor to have a relationship like this with a congregant. It seems like we're, maybe we're just on the cusp of becoming awake to this. But even as I have interviewed pastors, and say, hypothetically, do you think it would necessarily be abuse if a pastor has a relationship with a married congregant? And there'll be like, we don't know what the role of the woman was. Like, I don't even understand the basics of exactly what you said, Jack, that when there's a power differential, someone cannot give consent, when there's that kind of power. But it's just stunning to me complete and utter ignorance. And it's inexcusable. Every pastor should be aware of this. The same way that you have to go through training with Title XI, if you work for a university, pastors need to go through this kind of training, if they're going to serve in the pastorate and so do all the elders and the people who are holding them accountable. But it is just not happening. And it's really unbelievably frustrating. MORIAH SMOTHERS 11:19 Yeah. And really, that's the heart of why we're talking to you, is that you're right. It's illegal in 14 states right now. Understanding adult clergy sexual abuse is a job requisite skill at this point. 20 years ago, maybe not knowing maybe I can get it. There's so much literature now and fantastic researchers that this has been discussed too widely to claim ignorance at this point. And so I completely agree with you. There should be no ignorance of this issue. JULIE ROYS 11:50 In the wake of what happened is my understanding that Hills church actually paid for counseling for Patrick, is that right? JACK SMOTHERS 11:57 That's what they told us. JULIE ROYS 11:59 Okay, did they pay for counseling for you? JACK SMOTHERS 12:02 They did not. JULIE ROYS 12:03 Help me understand that? Did they give any kind of explanation for that? JACK SMOTHERS 12:08 No, we didn't ask them to pay for anything. MORIAH SMOTHERS 12:11 I chose a counselor because my survivor friend had also seen this woman. And again, she didn't know she was actually a survivor at the time. And so she was affiliated with a church that the Hills did not want us to receive counseling from. And so they actually discouraged me from seeing a counselor. They wanted us to see a counselor that was also I believe, seeing Patrick and his wife at the time. And so I was uncomfortable seeing a counselor that they recommended, which they didn't offer to pay for anything either way. But again, Julie, our supportive statement was go get marriage counseling. As if our marriage was broken, not that I was targeted and groomed and abused, confusing. JULIE ROYS 12:55 And the statement that was given at the time called it an inappropriate relationship, correct? Patrick did say that it was his fault, and no one but him. His fault, yet seems like some mixed messages in what was being said. MORIAH SMOTHERS 13:10 And there was no disclosure, I was a congregant. And I think that while there was no overtly blaming me in this situation there, I felt like the context of the sermon was, frankly tacky. It was preaching from the woman caught in adultery. And it was from the lens of a let's not throw the first stone but as a broken woman, I listened to it. That was all I heard is the adultery piece. They had all the advisory boards stand up front, and you could just see their disgust on their face. It was a group I should have been part of. Because if anybody had known I was missing, that would have been very a clear signal if they had known. It really has always bothered me, they never disclosed I was a congregant. I think that was very intentional. Actually, Dave Bowersox had apologized. He said, I'm so sorry you all are having to go through with this. And Jack, I think he said something like, I'm sure there's not a script for it. And they've said, Oh, no, there actually is. So they received counsel from somewhere about how to handle these situations. JULIE ROYS 14:13 They didn't make you were a big Scarlet A, at least. I guess we've progressed a little bit. But unbelievable. Yeah, what you went through and I'm so sorry. That just sounds absolutely traumatizing. For a year while you're in biblical counseling, you're believing the narrative. How did you internalize what you had done and the consequence? MORIAH SMOTHERS 14:40 Yeah. Oh, man, that's complicated. Julie, honestly, a lot of pieces did not make sense. But I was so desperate to keep my family together. I was willing to take responsibility for anything and everything. And so that's what I did for a season is I did a lot of work with my biblical counselor to figure out what was wrong with me. Like how had I sinned, how had I fallen, I will own it, I will repent for everything under the sun. Because I wanted to be well and whole. I didn't understand how this happened because I didn't want to have an affair. To be honest, I'm not even attracted to Patrick. I had no clue how this happened. But all we had was a fair framework. My mom tried to be really sweet and helpful gave me like a fair recovery books and things. And I started to read them. And I was like, this isn't me, this isn't I'm not represented in this. And so I will say the counselor I saw, knew nothing about abuse and trauma for this situation. She did some good soul care kind of things with me. But yeah, we were just trying to keep it together with the fair. JULIE ROYS 15:47 Wow. That's a very humble response, and so often we don't see those. You can only do what you know. But when you know, then you're responsible. And that's super, super important. It seems like you did have an epiphany. And it was on a podcast that we published, which, when I hear things like that it's so heartening. We work in the trenches a lot from day to day. And it's not the easiest work. But things like that, to hear stories of how it has impact is, it can give you some fuel for a decent amount of time. So I'll just say that it just is really encouraging. MORIAH SMOTHERS 15:47 He won't say this, but my biggest source of healing was Jack. That sweet man, we walked together a lot. That's where we bond as we walk. And so like we were walking every day for miles and miles. And he was my counselor at that time. And how deeply unfair for him to have been traumatized the way he was, and yet he was supporting me. I wanted basically nothing to do with faith at that point. And I've loved Jesus my whole life basically, that I thought, How can God cannot be good if my pastor treated me this way. Which I could have gotten over that, but I thought, There's no way the church is good or right, if it's been covered up by other pastors. So I was relying on Jack's faith. And Jack never asked me to leave. And again, we thought affair, never asked me to leave. He never yelled at me. There was a moment that it's still it's really hard to talk about. It was very soon after all of this had come out. And again, I was following him around the house because I was dazed and confused what had happened. He stopped in the doorway, and our kids were sitting there watching. And he said, I just feel so much compassion for you. And that was the first time he hugged me since it all came out. And I don't usually cry. I'm not a crier. I sobbed and sobbed in the hallway. And it was like, from that moment, I knew we were going to be okay. But it was hard. It was a hard road. And I did get some bad advice spiritually. The counselor told me that God had probably planned this for me, maybe for Patrick Garcia to get out of ministry. And I thought, man, if that's what God plans for the children he loves, I don't want to follow that God anymore. So that was a rough road. I will say for that counselor, Jack and I once we did realize what had happened, that it was abuse, we went back to her, presnted that. She graciously received that she apologized to us for not knowing. And so I have a lot of respect for her for that reason. And I'm excited for the work she's going to do in the future with this new knowledge. JULIE ROYS 17:49 But you heard a podcast, I guess it was November 2021, that I recorded with Katie Roberts, a beautiful, wonderful person that has become a friend, because I've been able to share her story with a lot of you. And so courageously she walked through what was incredibly difficult, and she took incredible hits from people criticizing her. It is just so indicative of the misogyny in our culture, that we just have such a difficult time wrapping our heads around the fact that women are not the temptress or that we cannot acknowledge that this is abuse. But Katie, beautifully did, and you heard that podcast when she talked about her own grooming, and abuse. Talk about what that was like to hear that and for the light bulb to go on. MORIAH SMOTHERS 19:23 That was an epiphany and that's exactly what it was. I'd been listening to your podcast for a while because I didn't have the words but I felt like something was mishandled here. It just, what happened in the church, it didn't sit right. Like I knew it didn't feel like justice somehow but I didn't know why. And I've been listening to you for a while Katie came on. And I remember almost feeling a little shaky and scared because I felt like she's telling my story. Like how could she possibly know what happened to me? And how has it happened to her? And this was way before I knew that there's so many similarities between these grooming and abuse stories with clergy. And I listened to the whole thing, I sent it to everybody in our support network, which let's be honest, that actually wasn't very many people at the time. But anybody that knew our story and would listen, I sent them the podcast. And I was like, how can this be? The language she used to explain like the grooming and the trauma bonding, the love bombing. She used the language that I had been describing, but didn't have the right word for it. And so it was such a weird thing. But I remember feeling I have to know more about this. And so I looked up Katie's email, and I emailed her and I said, I don't know if this makes any sense or not. But this is my story. And I shared it all. And she responded, and we ended up hopping on a phone call or zoom, I don't remember. But her first words to me, I actually wrote them down to share at the end of this podcast, because there was so much compassion when she heard my story. And she said, I'm so sorry how you've been mistreated. And from someone outside of my circle, but didn't have to love me and hear my story, that was such a powerful moment, because she got it. And while we were talking, she kept saying I understand, and that makes sense. And I thought, I didn't even understand all of this, and she did. And that's another part of the reason we're talking to you is that we found truth and understanding and freedom through Katie's story, which I know was a grueling experience for her. And I thought if the Lord is going to bring this opportunity full circle, where I learned through Katie, if someone can hear our story, and hear the tragedy, but also the hope, then we can't pass that up. JULIE ROYS 21:53 I love that. And I have found that nobody can minister to a survivor like another survivor. MORIAH SMOTHERS 22:03 I've learned the most through that community, there's a support group community that Katie and a few others founded. It's called Restored Voices Collective, and the learning, the growth, the empathy that happens in there, it could not be replicated, and it's only other survivors. So we're just supporting each other, we're not trying to overly educate or correct, it's just living life together in the aftermath of deep brokenness. JULIE ROYS 22:33 And I think that's what I've heard and what I've experienced, what I've seen. The Restore Conference that we've done, you know, a couple of those. And I remember the first one, I thought, oh, we should have prayer ministers, you know, to make sure because really, I mean, the whole vision was just to gather people that were literally strewn along the highway. I mean, that's just how it seems when you report these stories, and the church isn't caring for them, the church harmed them. And so they have nowhere to go and to see them come together. And I realize the prayer ministers are here, they're each other, right? It's the person who's sitting down right beside you, who you don't have to explain hardly anything because they get it. And it really is. And I know the survivor community is not perfect. And sometimes there can be some really painful things that happen within it. But I would say 90-95% of the people in there are just some of the most compassionate, good people because their character has been refined by fire. MORIAH SMOTHERS 23:39 And I attended your last Restore conference, and I got to meet a lot of the women I'd only known online up until that point, through zoom meetings, and one of the things that struck me is that personally, they're very normal, seeming. It's like when you feel so broken and devastated. Which is strange to me, like these very regular moms and women, but what I also know about them is they are warriors, they are so strong and so capable and intelligent. And that was an amazing experience just to see like my supporters in person. And that was amazing. Thank you for putting on those conferences, because I got to meet my people in person because of that. JULIE ROYS 24:20 It's a pleasure to do it really is and it's an honor. And we have another one coming up. So October 13 and 14th. If you're interested in that, I hope if you're listening you can because honestly, being with those people and experiencing what God does there, is probably one of the favorite things that I've ever done in my life. I absolutely love it. So it's RESTORE2023.COM if you want more information on that. So talk about the difference and you've already touched on it but the healing journey for you and Jack having this new perspective that this was not an affair that this was abuse, that you are a victim, that you're a survivor walking through this, what difference did that make emotionally and relationally, but also spiritually? MORIAH SMOTHERS 25:16 Oh, that's a big question. So I will say, for me the language made all the difference. Because earlier in the podcast you mentioned, I wrote that I felt like an addict. Now, knowing that description while being true is describing trauma bonding, that was really powerful. And I think because I'm a teacher person, like, language has been so healing for me. And it's given me search terms, basically, to read about what does this mean. So that's been a huge part of my healing. And then also being able to teach other people in my life about this is what this means this is how this happens. And just having the right words to study has been very healing. Also, I would say, understanding ACSA was healing in and of itself, because there's so many pieces of who I am, who Jack was, our life didn't just didn't fit affair. And so it felt very insufficient. And we did not have answers. Once we had this framework and understood how this happens, I started talking to other survivors, hearing similarities and stories. It's a really sad club to be part of. But then you have your other people to compare notes with. And so you have options and choices again, that I never had before. And so again, we were happy healing in private with that, but that made a big difference. My faith was a battle though. I think, intellectually, and emotionally, Jack was so stable for me and such a good listener, he helped me heal up in that way. My faith was a big, I still struggle with that, if I'm being completely honest. I was really ready to walk away for a while thinking that there's no goodness in church, I don't see how God can be good if these are the people that are leading a church. And so I got to a place in my faith that I realized that, so our kids committed their life to Jesus as well before, while I was really still struggling, which was such a beautiful thing. So I really felt like to be a good wife and mom, I've got to figure out this faith thing. Because I was willing at that point, I'll follow Jack wherever he goes. So if I have to attend church and just be mentally elsewhere, I will. But I knew I've got to figure out what this is. So I mentally went through like the major religions. And I was like, I don't see myself becoming a Buddhist and like really going through, like, where am I going to land because I'm a faithful person, I always have been, I knew I needed a religion, or faith. And so I thought, gosh, well probably like my best option is just really going with some kind of new age thing. But I would be a horrible God to myself. And so I felt like that's not on the table. And so I thought, Okay, I've got to figure out what do I really believe about Jesus? Because Jack has been being Jesus to me. And I don't mean that in a weird way, just like modeling the goodness of God, like I was holding on to his faith. And for the first year, again, only affair framework, I was able to read the Psalms, which was fine, like that was good, it was a start. But then when I realized I've got to make my mind up about what I think about Jesus, I started reading the gospels again. And that was a moment for me that I realized, I absolutely love the person of Jesus Christ, and that our hearts were so much in alignment about, he rarely called out anyone in sin or the vulnerable. He called out religious leaders for the way they were hurting vulnerable populations. And so that was a turning point for me is that, first of all, Jack modeled faith to me. He modeled the love of Jesus, which kept me hanging on by a thread. And then once I could finally reengage with the Word of God, I just focused on the person of Jesus. And I was able to fall back in love with him and really have some deeper roots again. I say now, and I completely mean this. The only people in my life I really trust are Jack and Jesus. JULIE ROYS 29:08 Wow. I love the honesty and the vulnerability. And I don't know anyone who has walked through church hurt, or certainly adult clergy sexual abuse- that's just brutal – who hasn't struggled in their faith in their walk with the Lord. I just spent the weekend with a survivor and, boy, they were raw, and they were honest, and I've been through it too. So. MORIAH SMOTHERS 29:40 And we're really healed up in a lot of ways. But I mean, we're almost three years out, but church is hard still. We've just moved. We're looking for a new church home. It's hard. And there's a lot of triggers and red flags and it's just even when you're in a good place and you really love the people. It's just hard. JULIE ROYS 29:56 It is, but I will say one thing, my teachers, Katie has been a teacher. Lori Anne Thompson has been a teacher. And they've been gracious with me like when I've written something and I used a wrong word or a wrong term, and they won't mince words. They'll reach out to me, but they're gracious when I'm like, Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not. Yep. Okay. Help me understand. MORIAH SMOTHERS 30:22 That's survivor community, they are loving but they are fierce and I love that about them. JULIE ROYS 30:27 Yes, they are. But I think it's so important to process what's happened. And I know just my own church hurt, experience, being able to process with people that you're not going to rack them, if you just say exactly how you're feeling in the moment. And that's just super, super important. Let's turn to holding the church accountable, because after this happened after you became enlightened about what had actually happened to you, you reached out to the Hills leadership, and you wrote them a letter, you've given me a copy of that letter. I think it's so good. I would love for you to just read it because my understanding is you sent this letter, so far, you haven't gotten a response. MORIAH SMOTHERS 31:17 No, I think it was confirmed it was received. Actually, the first letter I sent Jack was really kind. Again, I know we've been harsh about the church we came from, the Hills. We love a lot of the people there. I think there's some good things happening there. Out of respect, Jack met with Dave Bowersox to let them know this letter is coming. But besides that, you did get a response after this letter, though. Didn't he call you? JACK SMOTHERS 31:42 He did respond. I don't know if it was a call or an email. But he did respond. MORIAH SMOTHERS 31:45 And I think it was basically like we mishandled the situation was the response. I wrote this letter in fall 2021. So that was right after learning about adult clergy sexual abuse. So I will say I've learned a lot more since then. There are a few pieces of it that knowing what I know now, I would reword differently. But this is right where I was at having learned it, so I'll read it for what it is. My Hills church leadership. For most of the past year, Jack and I have been trying to navigate our way through this situation, with the framework and language that surrounds an affair or inappropriate relationship, which implies there was full consent from both people. While many of my choices were sinful and I egregiously sinned against God and Jack, it did not account for many of the experiences represented within the reading and counseling in which we engaged. I voraciously sought material to gain an understanding of what happened with the hopes that knowledge would alleviate my confusion and brokenness. In doing so I recently discovered the concept of adult clergy sexual abuse, ACSA, and for the first time I understood what had occurred. With this new knowledge, I felt compelled that we as the church need to grow in this area. Upon reflection, Jack, and I believe there are two logical explanations for the way that Hills leadership handled the situation, which include either ignorance or intentional misrepresentation. From an assumption of ignorance, if you had been aware of power dynamics requirements for consent, the cycle of ACSA abuse, how targets are chosen by predators and the grooming process, then this situation would have been conveyed to the congregation differently. The alternate explanation is that you received legal/peer counsel to minimize the liability of the church by intentionally misrepresenting clergy abuse as an inappropriate relationship. Regardless of the explanation of what happened in the past, there is much work to be done going forward to minister to those who have been hurt within the church. Therefore, I am writing to you with the hope that you as an institution will be able to grow and change as I have been growing and changing in my understanding and the implications of this critical issue. I hope you have read and shared my side of the story with the church leadership, elders, pastors and advisory council, which was given to you in fall 2020. However, if you have not, I suggest you review it so you have an anecdotal understanding of ACSA in this specific situation. Given my new understanding of power differentials and how they apply to pastors and congregants, I fully believe I was exploited by Patrick Garcia, and it was erroneous and misleading for the church leadership to convey it as an inappropriate relationship, which conveys consent. The predatory nature of the lead pastor was not communicated to the congregation, which is of great concern to me because it minimizes the impact of abuse within the church. I've included several resources on ACSA and I pray that you will educate yourselves and your leadership teams on the nuances of this type of abuse, how to effectively prevent it and how to handle it with integrity and transparency if it does occur. The reason that I am writing to you is threefold. One, I ask that you reach out to other potential victims and provide them with the support and resources to understand misconduct, grooming and abuse by spiritual/pastoral leader. As you are likely not aware of all the victims who have been adversely impacted by pastoral misconduct in the church you lead, an open invitation to all congregants is likely needed. Please connect them with a female counselor that is well versed in adult clergy sexual abuse and misconduct. The wounds from this are complex and deep. So I implore you to seek out your hurting sheep and care for them. Two, I ask that you share my story and ACSA resources with anyone in the church that you consider a leader. In my opinion, this means the elder board, pastoral staff and advisory board at a minimum. It is the church leadership's responsibility to shepherd their flock with care and dignity. Choosing to not educate yourselves when a wolf has wreaked havoc on your congregation is not living up to the call our Lord has placed on your role. Number three, I ask that you inform the perpetrator and people from whom you received counsel, that this was not simply an inappropriate relationship, that it falls under the criteria of adult clergy sexual abuse. By doing this, I hope you will clearly communicate that God's church is a place that abuse in any forum is not tolerated, because your primary goal is to protect the people under your care. I then provide some working definitions of clergy sexual misconduct, clergy sexual abuse and abuse of power. And then there were hyperlinked resources at the bottom. JULIE ROYS 32:41 So you asked for three things. Of those three things that you asked for, have you gotten any of them? MORIAH SMOTHERS 35:40 If any of those things have been done, they have not been communicated to us. JULIE ROYS 36:39 Okay. And, Jack, you had a conversation with Dave Bowersox after he received this letter? What did he say? JACK SMOTHERS 36:50 They were still processing what their response was going to be. And so he did thank me for meeting with him before we sent the letter to give him a heads up about what our intention was in sending the letter. But that was the extent of the response that we received. JULIE ROYS 37:06 And then you send a follow up letter to a couple months later, still nothing. MORIAH SMOTHERS 37:10 No. I reminded them of the request, and I sent the follow up, not to just be hounding them, but it was when everything had come out in a bigger way with the SBC. And so I thought surely this will get their attention that they'll realize how serious this is because the SBC even came out and said that if a pastor is in a relationship with a congregant, it's abuse, and that's a disqualifying sin. And so I thought having this outside entity that is that powerful, repent, hopefully, that should speak volumes to them. I received confirmation it was received, but I have not heard word if anything was actually done. JULIE ROYS 37:50 Right. And when this is called an affair and not abuse, it does open the door for the person to reoffend, and to continue doing this. And there may be others who have similarly been groomed by Patrick. MORIAH SMOTHERS 38:07 I've been told very specific information about those situations, which makes me think it's credible, but I have not had interaction or communication with any women that would say that. But again, they probably wouldn't even know it was grooming. JULIE ROYS 38:21 So now, almost three years have passed since Patrick resigned from the Hills. When he did so he said he was going to undergo a quote, season of restoration so that the root of my brokenness and dysfunction can be addressed. Christian Post just published this article in June in which Patrick says he's repented. He said, he's gotten to the root of his pride. He's preaching again. Do you believe Patrick Garcia is repentant? And why or why not? JACK SMOTHERS 38:53 I'll give my thoughts on that. Not to dodge the question, but I don't believe it matters whether or not he is repentant. I believe that an abuser is disqualified from ministry regardless of whether or not they repent. I hope that he has restored his relationship with God. I hope that all abusers come to an understanding of the pain that they have inflicted and are genuinely sorry and repent from that sin. But that does not mean they are then qualified to stay in that profession. They can go get any other job anywhere in the world, but not that one. MORIAH SMOTHERS 39:35 Actually, one of the things I feel strongly about is that I hope he's repentant. I hope everyone repents, but that does not mean there's leadership roles out there for them. I think actually, repentance means not seeking out leadership, because that's where this pain occurred. Like clearly that's a temptation that's a difficult area. Restore your relationship with God and be involved in a healthy body, church body. But I don't think that means leadership. And that's where I'm seeing my biggest concerns are about the church right now is that repentance equates to re-platforming. And I don't think that's what that means. JULIE ROYS 40:13 And when trust is betrayed, trust has to be earned back. And honestly, I said this not too long ago, but some of these guys don't have enough time in their life to earn back the trust that they've squandered and that they betrayed. But I agree with you. And I know there's going to be people who disagree. And what about David? We've talked about this so many times on podcasts, or listen to other podcasts, we've addressed this ad nauseam, but I'm just so tired of it. Above reproach is the qualification in Scripture for an elder. Are you above reproach? I have a tough time thinking that someone who has preyed on a congregant. Think about that; you're supposed to be a shepherd, and you became the wolf. How we could ever put that person back in the sheep pen again. And the amount of concern and compassion and let's pray for the predator that you hear. And the little that you hear about praying and concern and care for the victim is appalling. And I think it's very indicative of the kind of culture that we live in, which puts celebrities up on the platform. And man, if you are an order, and you you have the right stuff, boy, people just love you. But man, if you're not, and you happen to be in the way of someone getting back on that platform, it's very difficult. So I asked Jim Bergen, he's the lead pastor of Flat Irons Community Church in Colorado, and Paul Linge, who currently oversees the counseling ministry there at Crossroads, whether or not they thought that Patrick was ready to return to ministry, whether he should be replatformed. I got two very different responses. So I'd like to play both of them. First, here's how Jim Bergen responded. JIM BURGEN 42:12 Patrick absolutely messed up in a simple way with this woman. Her degree of willingness or participation. I don't know anything about she didn't call me. Patrick confessed to me, and I okay about disclose everything you know, and get on it. And even as he's starting to move back into ministry, I have a lot of texts going hey, do you think I can preach again? Do you think I can preach again? And I'm like, slow down. Because it's been, I don't think, we lose most of the New Testament and all of the Old Testament, if sexual sin disqualifies you from ministry forever. I mean, David, we lose Abraham, okay. But I don't think that when a pastor makes a mistake like this, it's a death sentence forever. But it definitely is a slow, long healing process. And that's what I cautioned him with, over and over again. JULIE ROYS 43:04 Okay, clearly, Jim Bergen doesn't share our view on this. MORIAH SMOTHERS 43:09 Really, Jim Burgen understand or know any survivors of ACSA. Just sexual sin and not the spiritual or emotional or psychological. He needs some education on that. JULIE ROYS 43:20 He does. And actually, in our conversation, I pushed back on that and asked him about spiritual abuse, about adult clergy sexual abuse, as well, and what qualifies. And it was clear to me that a lot of this was new to him. MORIAH SMOTHERS 43:35 Yeah, we've met some really, truly good men, good shepherds, pastors that we have a lot of respect for. They don't know. And I'm just floored by that. JACK SMOTHERS 43:47 But the good ones respond with a desire to learn. Yes, and that's really encouraging. Moriah has done a wonderful job of putting together training on ACSA. We've been able to deliver that to two different churches, and it's just fantastic and encouraging and edifying to see the godly people who get it and they want to improve they want to protect their congregation and guard against wolf-like behavior. JULIE ROYS 44:16 As I said, I also asked Paul Linge about this question, and I'd like to play his response. PAUL LINGE 44:23 Christian Post article stated that he did meet with Crossroads elders as part of what I think was I don't remember if it was Southeast or Bob Russell in particular but basically trying to put him on a restoration pathway which to me was grossly inefficient. General sense was it was a box to check rather than any kind of your display of repentance. Because for him to really go on a restoration journey with the people at Crossroads and Evansville. That's not a one-time meeting. There's probably months of meeting, based on the damage that was created in our community. So that's why it feels very superficial. I personally, and just through my own contacts have not seen the necessary repentance, or else he would be spending a lot more time in Evansville, the community that he helped blow up if that were true. And so I don't, I think the article comes across as in not just to me, but to others in our communities who read it, as though he was somehow the victim, whether that was the victim of Crossroads, the victim of the Hills leadership, the victims of Savannah, and it's just not true. At some point, a person has to take ownership and responsibility that for their own choices and behavior. I think he keeps getting prodded along by some key figures, who, for whatever reason, are reticent to just tell him the truth. Maybe they are, and I just don't know it. But it just seems like he's been continued to be propped up. I don't know if it's so much of a timeline, Julie, as it is looking for mile markers along the way. Right. So looking for signs of humility, looking for signs of teachability, looking for signs of repentance, looking for signs of restitution. I wronged you, you know, I dented your car, I'm going to pay for it to make sure it gets fixed. When you see that, you know, kind of the key is anybody I have wronged, then I'll make it right. That's the type of response I think you're looking for when you're talking about character change, or even your personality change. Once you start to see that and you're like, okay, something's happening. What we're looking for is their demonstration is there not feigned or fake remorse, but genuine repentance. And that's what I would say, at least from my experience from my seat. I have not seen that in Patrick Garcia in the last five years. JULIE ROYS 47:02 I'm guessing you resonate with a lot of what Paul said. I think he's absolutely right for looking for the markers of repentance, whether or not that means you can re-platform that's another question. And there's really need to be two different questions that people need to understand; you can be restored to Christ, you can be restored to the body restored to a position, that's a totally different thing. And I think people need to just start saying you're permanently disqualified. I don't know why we just can't seem to say that in the church. And yet I think it needs to be said for abusers. Absolutely. MORIAH SMOTHERS 47:39 And, Julie, I just want to again, echo what Paul said in his clip. It's what Jack and I were saying, Actually, Jack wrote this to Leonardo Blair, who wrote the article that the level of pain and trauma that article caused from Patrick, Blair made himself as the victim clearly demonstrates no understanding of spiritual authority, power dynamics, abuse. Anyone that was mentioned in that article, he re traumatized, and Leonardo did too. So I'm going to be very blunt, I hold the Christian Post responsible for publishing that as well as Patrick Garcia. Because I think, yeah, I think I hold them all responsible. We have too much information to just publish whatever might get a few clicks at this point without considering all of the victims, not just Jack and I, but the churches, the families. JULIE ROYS 48:30 And I think reporters need to be educated, absolutely need to be educated and trauma informed and all of these things and if you're not fine, but it's no excuse at this point. Get it. MORIAH SMOTHERS 48:44 Yeah, we get it. If you're not and don't want to be, go report on the weather, don't report when they're in a space where there are victims. JULIE ROYS 48:50 Yeah, absolutely. And there is clearly, I would agree, complete dearth of understanding of what ACSA, adult clergy sexual abuse is, and it needs to be remedied. I agree. Again, Patrick has been re platformed by Adventure church. He's preached there several times. That's a church in Louisville, Kentucky. I reached out to Adventure for comment. The church did not respond. Bob Russell has also replatformed Patrick. Bob had Patrick share about his fall and restoration at Bob's mentoring retreat for pastors. This, that Patrick is up there now instructing pastors about his fall and restoration and they're learning from him how to be a pastor. How does that make you feel? JACK SMOTHERS 49:41 That is absolutely ridiculous. You can't have someone who is an abuser trying to instruct people on how not to abuse. I don't understand really the line of thought and why you would want to put him into that scenario given his background. I think honestly I would just say my concern is, why is there so much focus on helping these pastors who have abused other people, instead of focus on how do we help the abused? How do we help the victims of the people who we have, are partially responsible for their victimization? That's really where the focus should be is how do we care for the vulnerable? because that's exactly what Jesus did. That's who he ministered to. And that's who he loves. So that's, we just have a mis alignment, a missed focus on on what we really talk about in churches. JULIE ROYS 50:37 And I'm guessing Bob Russell has met with Patrick, and continues to mentor him and yet, you guys reached out through Dave Road up, who I understand is someone who has relationship, he's in Christian leadership has a relationship with Bob Russell. He wouldn't meet with you. He would not meet with you. MORIAH SMOTHERS 50:58 Yeah. Paul Linge was the connection. We met with him and several other Crossroads leaders and shared our story shared educational material. They held space for us and held our story with so much goodness. That was very restorative. I struggle with pastors in general, getting to meet with Paul Linge helped restore some of that faith in that role. So the connection between us and Bob Russell is very removed, we don't know him. But we told Paul, if Bob Russell's willing to hear our story, we're willing to share it. And so there was also David Roadcup was involved there. David Roadcup knows our story as well. He shared it with Bob Russell what he could and said, Are you willing to meet with this couple, because they have concerns that Patrick Garcia is preaching again. And his comment was that if there was not sexual intercourse, I will not meet with them. That was what we were told. And so I guess anything, pastors are allowed to do anything, and be preaching and be re-platformed, besides have sexual intercourse with someone who's not their wife, is the message there. JULIE ROYS 52:01 Well, and again, we didn't hear that directly from Bob's mouth. But I have reached out to Bob, to try to get comment to try to clarify to give him opportunity. And he has not responded. If he'd like to, I'm still here, and he can do it. And I'll report what he says. Or if he'd like to apologize, he can do that, too. But just would like to hear from him, it would be really nice. Last question. And thank you so much. I know this is so hard, and can be re traumatizing. And it's difficult. And I know that you only do this because you care about other victims, you care about the church, and its ability to care for others and so this doesn't happen and keep happening to people. And so that Patrick doesn't get platformed and is able to prey on vulnerable people again. But I know it comes at a cost. And so I'm extraordinarily grateful to both of you. I know, just knowing the audience that we have for this podcast, that there are people listening, who have been through what you've been through, they may be in totally different levels of healing right now of understanding. But I think it's amazing how well both of you are doing three years, that may seem like a long time, it also seems a really short time, and you're doing remarkably well. Not just as human beings individually, but together in your marriage. And that's, I think, a testament to who you are as human beings and to the godliness. As you know, when you were talking about Jack and the way he's carried you through this, great husbands are a gift. And that's really beautiful to hear that. But I'm just wondering what you might say to other survivors who are listening, some of whom may just be right now white knuckling it just to hold on? MORIAH SMOTHERS 53:55 Yeah, yeah, and the survivor community is really, that's my heart. Like you said, that's why we're here. There's a line in Wade Mullins book that I've tried to anchor myself to, and I'm not going to quote it perfectly. Something's Not Right is the book that says, as part of your healing journey, you need to think about what your abuser or his supporters would want you to do and do the opposite. And so this is me reclaiming using my voice for that. And so I really thought about what would I say to other survivors, because I know where they've been at. And so I would repeat what sweet Katie Roberts said to me the first time I spoke to her in person, and is that I'm so sorry for how you've been treated. You aren't alone. There's others of us that have been where you're at. It's an absolute nightmare. But there are other people out there that get it. We're here for you. There's a group of women that would love to hear your story, and we're going to understand it because we've lived it as well. We're here to support you in that and that's Restored Voices Collective. Julie, if you can put that little link in your bio that would be great. I would encourage other survivors work really hard to find a counselor that understands trauma. Don't settle for a counselor that just loves Jesus. With what you've been through, it's not enough. They need to know trauma and abuse. If they love Jesus, that's great too Take the time to learn and study the language of what happened to you. Some of the researchers and writers that have been instrumental for me are David Pooler has been one of them. Dr. Heather Evans is another one, Mary DeMuth's book, We Too, is a really wonderful book. And I would say, take care of yourself. I know, this healing process is long and hard. You need people that can cheer you on and just sit with you in the pain. And the last thing I would say is, my faith is intact. And I hope that people that have really had a close relationship with Jesus, that have been abused, I hope you're able to find your way back to Him. But take your time; he's patient, he's willing to sit with you through all of the pain. And so when you're ready to explore faith again, or figure out what that looks like, just look to Jesus, don't look to your church leaders don't look to a denomination. Just look to Jesus for that. JULIE ROYS 56:12 That is so good. Moriah thank you. And thank you for just sharing so openly, Jack, thank you the same, again, difficult topic, but appreciate the way that you guys have walked through this with integrity. And the way that you're really reaching out to others and taking courageous stands to speak out, which is never easy. So thank you, it's just really been a blessing to get to know you. JACK SMOTHERS 56:37 Thank you. MORIAH SMOTHERS 56:38 Thank you. We appreciate the opportunity. JULIE ROYS 56:40 And thanks so much for listening to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys. And if you've appreciated this podcast, would you please consider supporting the work that we do here at The Roys Report. As I've said before, we don't have any big donors or advertising we simply have you, the people who care about telling other survivors stories, exposing wrongdoing, bringing healing and restoring the church. Also this month when you give a gift of $30 or more, we'll send you a copy of Christy Boulware's book, Nervous Breakthrough. It's such a great resource and I'm so excited to make it available to you to donate and get a copy of Nervous Breakthrough, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. Also just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcast, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you were blessed and encouraged.   Read more

Guest Bios Show Transcript In 2020, Moriah Smothers thought her emotional and physical relationship with her pastor, Patrick Garcia, was an affair. She blamed herself and was ostracized by many in her church. Yet now, Moriah realizes she was the victim of adult clergy sexual abuse. And since Garcia has returned to preaching—and was recently featured in an article as a repentant and reformed pastor—Moriah is speaking out. In this exclusive podcast interview, Moriah and her husband, Jack, speak publicly for the first time since Patrick Garcia resigned from The Hills Church in Evansville, Indiana. At the time, Garcia confessed to engaging in an “inappropriate relationship, both physically and emotionally.” And he pledged to undergo a “season of restoration so that the root of my brokenness and dysfunction can be addressed.” Almost three years later, that season is apparently nearing a close. Garcia said recently that he's been able to determine what caused his crash. And, with the backing of mentoring pastor Bob Russell—pastor emeritus of one of the largest churches in the U.S.—Garcia is starting to minister again. This comes as a shock to Moriah, who says Garcia groomed and abused her, using his power as a pastor to keep her in a relationship she repeatedly tried to escape. And, in this podcast, Moriah and her husband, Jack, explain why they don't think Garcia should ever be allowed back into ministry. This podcast includes an interview with a pastor who served under Garcia at Crossroads Christian Church, where Garcia served until 2018, when he was fired. The Crossroads pastor says Garcia wasn't fired for mere “philosophical differences,” as previously announced, but for profound character issues. Also offering perspective is Jim Burgen, lead pastor of Flatirons Community Church in Colorado. Like Pastor Russell, Jim is a close friend and mentor for Garcia. Is Garcia a restored pastor, whose gifts shouldn't be withheld from the church? Or, is he a predator, who continues to deceive and manipulate, and shouldn't be allowed in ministry again? Multiple voices engage with these questions and provide understanding on adult clergy sexual abuse. Guests Dr. Moriah Smothers Dr. Moriah Smothers is an Associate Professor of Teacher Education and a former elementary special education teacher. She is also a survivor of adult clergy sexual abuse (ACSA). Dr. Jack Smothers is a Professor of Management and a secondary survivor. Their heart is to help other ACSA survivors find healing and community. They are passionate about educating church leaders to identify, prevent and respond to ACSA. They have two children and have been married for 15 years. You can connect with them at jackandmoriahsmothers@gmail.com. Show Transcript SPEAKERS JULIE ROYS, MORIAH SMOTHERS, JACK SMOTHERS, JIM BURGEN, PAUL LINGE JULIE ROYS  0:00 For a year, Moriah Smothers thought her emotional and physical relationship with her pastor Patrick Garcia was an affair. She blamed herself and was ostracized by many in her congregation. But Moriah says she now believes she was a victim of clergy sexual abuse. And now that Garcia is returning the ministry, she's speaking out in this exclusive podcast. Welcome to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys and joining me on this episode is Moriah Smothers and her husband Jack Smothers. Moriah has not spoken publicly since 2020 when Patrick Garcia resigned from the Hills Church in Evansville, Indiana. At that time, Garcia confessed to engaging in an “inappropriate relationship both physically and emotionally.” He added, no one is to blame for this repeated wicked behavior but me and he pledged to undergo a “season of restoration so that the root of my brokenness and dysfunction can be addressed.” Now almost three years later, that season is apparently nearing a close. In a Christian Post article last month, Garcia says he's been able to determine what caused his crash. And now with the help of mentoring Pastor Bob Russell, Pastor Emeritus of one of the largest churches in the country, Garcia is starting to minister again. He's also speaking out claiming the relationship he had with the other woman was an emotional affair, but the church forced him to say it was physical. He also claims the church didn't know how to handle his struggle with anxiety and depression, contributing to what happened. All this has come as a shock to Moriah, who says Garcia isn't telling the truth. She says Garcia groomed and abused her using his power as a pastor to keep her in a relationship she repeatedly tried to escape. She also says she's reached out to Russell and leaders at the Hills, trying to get them to acknowledge the abuse, but they've refused. On this podcast, you'll hear her story. You'll also hear from a pastor at Crossroads Christian Church, where Garcia served from 2016 to 2018. That's when he was fired for alleged philosophical differences. And you'll hear from a pastor who like Bob Russell, is a close friend and mentor for Garcia. You won't hear from Patrick Garcia. We reached out to him to hear his side of the story. He responded via email saying and I quote, “enough has been said about that part of my story. I'm in the season of accepting the Lord's forgiveness and moving on.” We'll get to this important podcast in a moment. But first, I'd like to thank the sponsors of this podcast, Judson University, and Marquardt of Barrington. If you're looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience, Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities and strong financial aid. Plus you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go to JUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you're looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity and transparency. That's because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt are men of integrity. To check them out, just go to BUYACAR123.COM. Well, joining me now is Moriah Smothers, who is speaking publicly for the first time about what she claims was clergy sexual abuse by Patrick Garcia, former pastor of the Hills Church in Evansville, Indiana. Also joining her is her husband Jack Smothers, who has stood by Moriah throughout the turmoil and devastation of the past several years. So Jack, and Moriah, thank you so much for being willing to talk about what I know is just a really painful and difficult situation. MORIAH SMOTHERS  04:11 Thank you for having us Julie. JACK SMOTHERS  04:12 Thank you, Julie. JULIE ROYS  04:14 So as I mentioned in the open, Patrick Garcia resigned from the Hills Church in 2020, confessing to what the media called an affair. In the past three years you haven't said anything publicly about what happened. And now you are speaking publicly for the first time. So what led you to want to speak out now about this situation? MORIAH SMOTHERS  04:37 Julie, Jack and I have never wanted to, felt the need or the call to be public about any of this. Our heart was basically to disappear and heal up, figure out what happened, why it happened. And we have taken a few opportunities these past three years to for some educational reasons with some local church leaders, but really, we were very happy healing up in private on our own with some supporters as well. The reason that we're talking to you now is because of the Christian Post article that was recently released. We had no prior knowledge of that article, completely caught off guard by it. But after we both read it, we were deeply troubled by the fact that there was no mention of adult clergy sexual abuse in that write up. And even then I still didn't feel the need to say anything different than Patrick Garcia's story. But what really pushed us to reach out and say something and be public for the first time is I was so devastated and insulted for the survivor community, for other women that are your friends, and in a support group with now. I just felt the article was deeply disrespectful and tone death of everything happening in the evangelical church, between Ravi Zacharias and Hillsong, and the SBC, the Christian Post can do better and should do better. And so I felt like, I didn't want this opportunity. Jack didn't want this opportunity. But here it is. And we're really here to tell our story for survivors, and hopefully, for church leaders to know better and do better. JULIE ROYS  06:12 And so Leo Blair, who wrote that article. I know, Leo, he's a colleague, someone that I've talked to on numerous occasions, and has been helpful to me in stories. And he's done some excellent work. But in this case, sounds like he did not attempt to reach out to you, correct? MORIAH SMOTHERS  06:29 No, there was no attempt at all. Nobody involved in that story reached out to us or notified us at all. We were very surprised by it. JULIE ROYS  06:36 Okay. And I think he did reach out to the Hills' elders who did not respond to him. I guess they could have put him in touch with you. But that didn't happen. And I'm not sure that that was asked for even but a very regrettable situation. And so I'm glad that you're going to be able to tell your side of the story. Let's back up to when both of you met Patrick Garcia. As I understand, both of you were volunteers at Crossroads Christian Church in Evansville, Indiana. And that's where Patrick pastored from roughly 2016 to 2018. Would you describe your relationship with Patrick at the time? MORIAH SMOTHERS  07:16 Yeah, sure. Basically, Julie, there was no relationship. We started attending that church when Ken Idleman was pastoring it. We had a lot of respect for his preaching and teaching. And it would be classified technically, as a mega church; it was very large. We were serving and attending but the pastoral transition did happen while we were there, but there was no relationship of any sort. Our children are about the same age. So we might have walked past each other in a hallway but no kind of communication, no, no relationship of any sort, except he was the pastor. And that was it. JULIE ROYS  07:49 Okay, and I'm guessing you had impressions of him, though. He was your pastor. Jack, was there ever did you have any conversations with him at this point, or he was just the man up on stage/ JACK SMOTHERS  08:02 We had passing conversations. And I do remember, one time at Crossroads when Patrick was still a pastor there. I did say to Moriah, I have a bad feeling about him. I didn't have any evidence of anything, I just got a bad impression and asked her to keep her distance from it. That was the extent of our interactions. JULIE ROYS  08:23 So then, in 2020, Crossroads fired Patrick Garcia, and another Pastor Rick Kyle, over in this is what the statement said, at least initially was philosophical differences. That was the reason given. I've also spoken with Paul Linge who was and still is a pastor at Crossroads. And we'll get his take in a minute about what really was happening behind the scenes. But from your vantage point at the time, what did you think had happened and why Patrick Garcia was being fired by the church? 08:25 At that point in time, we were just congregation members very far removed from that inner circle with any sort of connection to Patrick or the elders. And I think that's an interesting question. It's something that churches should really consider deeply because for your average congregant, especially in a megachurch, that pastor, that teaching individual is going to be the person who your congregants feel more connected to. And we had a personal relationship, a friendship with another pastor by the name of Dave Bowersox, he was a friend. We love him and his family and he chose to resign from the church as a result of all that. And that, at the time, spoke volumes to us and we trusted him we trusted his friendship and I chose to side with them in moving to the Hills, which at that point in time, Patrick was not a part of, it had nothing to do with Patrick moving to the Hills. He didn't come on to staff  at the Hills until later on. But at that point in time, it was really because of our friendship with Dave. JULIE ROYS  10:04 Was there a narrative though? That was because I know that this cause major turmoil. In fact, it spawned, I know, an article in Christian Post back then, because I went back and read a lot of these articles. I wasn't aware of it at the time. I wasn't covering this sort of news, or I think my nose was probably in other stories at the time. But it sounds like it caused a lot of turmoil at Crossroads, several pastors resigned when Patrick was fired, there was a petition circulating. This was a major deal. And I'm guessing there had to have been trying to figure out which side is telling the truth, am I right? MORIAH SMOTHERS  10:40 Yeah, there was definitely it was highly contentious. The narrative I remember hearing, believing, understanding was that the elders wanted to lead in a more traditional way. And that the pastors that were being fired and or resigned and left wanted to be more progressive. And so there was truly what we believe the statement about philosophical differences in leadership. And again, at the time, we also believe that maybe Crossroads was wanting to be a bit more of a country club feel, then really reaching out to the needy, the vulnerable. So that was the narrative that was being put out there for people that were asking questions. That's what i remember. JACK SMOTHERS  11:22 You don't realize how gullible you are until after the fact until hindsight is available. But there was evidence that we could have looked into and chose not to, because of those connections and those relationships that we had those trusted relationships. And so those just exerted a profound influence over us. And then we regret that. JULIE ROYS  11:43 As I mentioned, I talked to Paul Linge, who currently oversees the counseling ministry there at Crossroads, but he served as executive pastor under Patrick Garcia. And this is what he told me about why Patrick was fired. PAUL LINGE  11:58 There were some fundamental character fissures in the makeup of his heart, his mind, his belief system, and those would leak out on a fairly regular basis. And while I never saw him act, to my knowledge, inappropriately toward a female, okay, that's too much that's inappropriate, that's wrong. But he would laugh at it just crude things. And unless they like for nudity, not that I saw but like pictures of like a shadow of It's a little embarrassing to talk about, shadows of a man's penis, and, and this was like early on, and he would laugh about it. And I was like, yikes, okay, something is a little off here. And I would confront him on it. And sometimes he would receive it. But it was dismissive as well. Basically, he was unteachable, he was young, he was still in his late 20s. I saw the way that he would posture himself in elder meetings, he was unteachable, he would not listen to men who are leaders in their areas of business and industry and are men of God. He had his own his official group of Crossroads elders that he was technically under the authority of, but he had his own private board outside of that. It was composed of guys who would tell him what he wanted to hear. And some of these are the Bob Russell's, and others, some of whom have had what appears to be great success in ministry. But they didn't have the nuts and bolts of the character of Patrick Garcia. And so I think it could be said that he came with what looked like a good pedigree; graduate of Cincinnati Christian University, the son in law of Dave Stone, who at that time was the lead pastor at Southeast Christian Church. And so it looked like good pedigree, but I don't know that the proper due diligence was done in tossing him the keys, so to speak, of Crossroads Christian Church. It felt like the keys were tossed to a reckless teenager rather than a mature man of God, who had in mind things of God. JULIE ROYS  14:02 That's Crossroads Pastor Paul Linge, expressing a perspective that it sounds like neither, you know, you, Jack or Moriah had at the time. I'm just curious, as you listen to that, what kind of thoughts do you have and feelings about what you just heard? JACK SMOTHERS  14:20 Gosh, it's hard to go back in time and put yourself in that place. Of all the information that we were ignorant of. What we know now is Paul Linge is a man of God like that guy that is truly the real deal. He is a committed Christian and I don't have insider information because I was not a member of the elder board. But I am not surprised by anything. Any comment that he made in that clip. MORIAH SMOTHERS  14:46 There was a lot too. Jack and I kind of were looking at each other like we've heard this before. There was a lot of weight put on Patrick's pedigree, and the people that he had surrounding him in ministry support. And again we didn't know, but we thought that must mean something because it was consistently put out there. A phrase we heard a lot was ‘he comes from good stock'. I bet we've heard that hundreds of times. And knowing now that he was going a lot on reputation, and I think we've heard a lot for different organizations. But it seems like we're looking at charisma more than character is something I've heard in other churches. And yeah, nothing Paul said was surprising to us knowing what we know now. But, Julie, you're correct. We did not have any of that information, when this split was happening. And we were trying to make a decision; we didn't know. JACK SMOTHERS  15:38 And I think that's important for churches to keep in mind when they are, I think Crossroads did as good as they possibly could have with handling that situation. But as a congregant, I think we probably needed more information to truly assess their rationale, their justification for letting Patrick go, because we essentially put ourselves into a dangerous situation. JULIE ROYS  16:04 Well, it does sound like some of the elders did try to speak up and they were pretty strongly censored by people for doing that. So I know it can be a very difficult situation. And I've often said when I'm reporting, it's like saying something bad about somebody's grandmother. Like, it may be true, but people just don't want to hear it. They want to believe what they want to believe. And it can be a very difficult situation. But as you guys mentioned, Paul Linge mentioned one of the difficulties that Crossroads had was dealing with these outside advisors. And like you said, this stock that he came from, he had this close relationship with Bob Russell, retired pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, one of the biggest churches in the country, very influential church. At the time, Patrick was also married to the daughter of Dave Stone, who was the pastor of Southeast Christian Church at the time, and Patrick, and Dave Stone's daughter has since divorced, but at the time again, he was Dave Stone's son-in-law. I reached out to Bob Russell for comments about the role that he's been playing in Patrick's life, as well as the role that he was playing at the time. He did not respond to me. However, one of Patrick's other advisors is Jim Burgen, and he's the lead pastor of Flat Irons Community Church in Colorado. And Jim was kind enough to grant me an interview. And here's what Jim said, regarding his understanding, at the time of why Crossroads fired Patrick. JIM BURGEN  17:31 My understanding is that he was trying to be very transparent, trying to be very real and authentic, admitting that he wasn't perfect and admitting he dealt with depression, things like that. And I do remember him telling me that the I don't want to be a gossip because I wasn't there, alright? So I know that Patrick was telling me that they didn't really want that image of their pastor. They wanted their pastor to be somebody who, because he had faith, and because he had the word of God, these things weren't really problems in their life anymore. They want him to stand on a pedestal and be an example, that you can overcome anything, which is a lot of pressure, but it also is, it's just not integrity. And so I read the same stuff you've read, but I've heard from Patrick, they didn't want that. They didn't want that. And then they parted ways over the I don't believe they parted ways over one thing, though, like, is just the overall, you have a different philosophy of ministry than we do. JULIE ROYS  18:28 So like then, or since you haven't really talked to any of the leaders at Crossroads? JIM BURGEN  18:34 No, not once. Or Hills. I've not talked to any of those leadership. JULIE ROYS  18:39 Again, that's pastor Jim Bergen who served as an advisor, I think he still is a mentor to Patrick. I like Jim, he was very gracious to grant me an interview. And we talked a long time. But I have to say when I heard him say that he hasn't talked to the leadership of Crossroads or the Hills, not once, that was concerning to me. Especially I know, he had Patrick come speak at his church in 2019. So this was after Patrick was fired from Crossroads. And it just doesn't seem from my vantage point, that there was respect for the local elders; enough respect to say, hey, what happened? But it seemed more like Patrick was, he's our prodigy. He's our guy. And so if he says this, I'm going with it. And if there's one thing in this story that even we've seen so far, nobody reached out to you to get your side of the story. Nobody reached out to these elders between these advisors to get their side of the story. I'm guessing you're feeling some similar things there. But do you have anything to add that you thought when you heard this from Jim? JACK SMOTHERS  19:50 I don't know if Jim is willfully and intentionally ignorant, or if Jim is confused, perhaps, or maybe I'm wrong, right? But in my opinion, that's the only thing that I can say. His statement about Patrick trying to be very transparent and real and authentic. What Patrick was actually doing is trying to manipulate other people into getting what he wanted. So my reaction to pastor Bergen is, I guess I should have gracious assumptions and say he did not apparently know the real Patrick Garcia. MORIAH SMOTHERS  20:28 My concern with his statement too Julie is, I think, a lot of times when these situations occur, the person where the blame should fall is excellent at isolating individuals so they can control the narrative. And I think that when that happens, it's really easy to spin the story that is in your favor. And so I think it was a real leadership failure to not have broken out of that vacuum, and have talked to other stakeholders like the Hills and Crossroads and other people involved in that. JACK SMOTHERS  21:03 Do you feel that the language he was using, the language that Patrick would use about being so real and authentic was really a way to justify his sin and normalize his behavior? MORIAH SMOTHERS  21:17 Yeah, I think the closest thing I've ever read that accounts for that is that Chuck DeGroat. He wrote When Narcissism Comes to Church. I came across the term I think he's the one who coined it, it could have been someone else, but called fauxnerability. That term exactly represented the culture of the Hills, and the culture that I believe Patrick wanted to create; that I'm going to be very open, vulnerable, transparent, but it's more transactional. And then I'm not really going to live that privately, which was a lot of the interaction he and I had together was horrible. JULIE ROYS  21:52 So within months of Patrick leaving Crossroads, he joined this new church that two former pastors at Crossroads started Dave Bowersox and Darrell Marin. Both of you decided to become part of this new church. What motivated you to do that? JACK SMOTHERS  22:11 Really was our relationship with Dave, we barely knew Darrell. But we were in a small group of Dave and his wife, Sandy, and really trusted them and loved their family a lot. And we also had kids about their kids age and Dave and I had a meeting at the university where Moriah and I are employed. And he mentioned, they were creating an elder board and said, I would be a great fit for that. That never really came to fruition while we were there. They created an advisory team and invited Moriah to be on that. I wasn't invited. We were involved with a discipleship ministry while we were at the Hills. But anyway, our relationship with Dave is what drew us there. JULIE ROYS  22:54 The not having an elder board, and having an advisory board with I'm guessing really had no teeth or accountability. Am I right? MORIAH SMOTHERS  23:02 That's exactly right. And so this advisory board they created had men and women that were all in with the church. Which I thought at the time, like what a wonderful demonstration like representation of the church. It was made very clear to the board multiple times that there was no accountability that pastors had to us. And we were never to be a decision making body. At the time I was there, it was very much, so we're gonna read you our stats, tell you the good things we're doing and you brag on us. And so it was a Yes-man and woman situation, let's cheer and say, rah. But no, there was no authority with that position. JULIE ROYS  23:41 And I will just say right now, and I do get asked this all the time. But people say like, how can you evaluate a church? And it's step one, look at the elder board. Are they truly independent or are they beholden to the pastor in some way? Are they staff members of the church? In other words, is the pastor their boss, so of course they're not going to buck him? Are they family members? This is another one that nepotism that runs in these. All of these things need to be looked at but what can they really do look at the bylaws. Do you have bylaws? If you do have bylaws, how is a pastor senior pastor going to be removed? Is that spelled out in your bylaws? Finances – do you know how much your senior pastor makes? And I don't care if you're at a small church or a large church, whatever. To me the fact that religious nonprofits and churches don't have to reveal what their top wage earners make, but secular nonprofits do, to me is appalling. Why should the church be less accountable to the people that give it money than the world right? than the secular nonprofits? It's these kinds of red flags that before I got into doing what I do today, I wouldn't have thought of either so I don't fault people for it. But I think we're in a season or a time in the church right now that's really somewhat of a crisis, with scandal after scandal coming out. And if people, if the church individuals, congregants, if we don't wise up, we're never going to see a change, because it's not going to come from the top, it's going to come from the bottom up. So, Moriah, it's my understanding that about a year later, so it was about October 2018, that you began on the advisory board at the Hills church. But then Patrick started communicating with you on an individual basis. And this is what you would say, is the early stages of what you believe is grooming you. Would you describe why you believe that this was a grooming situation and the beginning of abuse? MORIAH SMOTHERS  25:48 Before I get into that, Julia, and I will, is that one of the things that was revealing in the Christian Post article is that Patrick actually told on himself and said that he'd had a crush on me for three years. We had no interaction, we didn't know each other and knowing what I know now, I absolutely believe that I was targeted well in advance. I think he had been taking notes on me the times we had interacted. Jack and I lead a Bible study group with the pastors for a new curriculum, there were some things from that were a little unusual, but I just didn't think much of. So that communication initially, I would have considered very innocuous. It was really about the ministry Jack and I were helping run and so a lot of those emails early on, like I would have to discuss with Jack and things like that. But eventually, they turned into more texting, still some emails, but more texting. And I didn't loop Jack in on those, which was a huge error on my part. But it really a lot of it was just like joking and silly things that if someone had picked up my phone and read, they would have thought, that's odd, her husband sat on a bit, it wouldn't have been anything. So it wouldn't have been an obvious red flag. And so I let a lot of that go, even though I'm sure I had a gut check at the time, but it's my pastor, like, I've always had healthy, safe relationships with my pastor. So I didn't think anything about it. it fairly quickly turned into joking though. His demeanor is very polling. He described it like a very silly kind of teenager, he just joking. The first thing that really caught my attention, though, was like, that doesn't seem quite normal is he sent a gift to my work. And so he put a different name on it a pseudonym. And it was an inside joke about a logo from Flat Irons. I made the joke our son was into Pokémon, and I asked him, I said, Well, Patrick, you're wearing a Pokémon shirt. Matt, our son would love bat, like I didn't know you were a fan. And so he sent this to my office. And then that was the first time it caught my attention, texting, communication. And honestly, a lot of times it was about church. And so it was intermixed between what was happening at church and fake life, and then personal and personal questions and things like that. I didn't have any of this language then. But all of this was really heavily infused with love bombing, which I know now I didn't know at the time that just this excessive praise, this endearment that, honestly, it really ingratiates someone with you, you feel so valued and seen. But the intention there is for manipulative purposes. And so I really believed a lot of that. The more we communicated, the more he sought out my opinion on church issues. And I did I just felt flattered that he thought my perspective was valuable in that context, because I've never, that's never happened before within that kind of inner circle church group. Also, the thing that very quickly happened is he started depending on me for things. He would just often say, like how overwhelming his work is, and he's so far behind, and he's shepherding and writing sermons and doing all these things, and I'm a former Special Ed teacher, like teachers are helpers by nature. It's what we do. It's what we're good at. And so I thought, like, oh, my gosh, I have the skill set, I can help you out. Do you need me to proofread something? Pretty quickly, he said, You just take over doing all my emails for work. And I thought, well, I can respond to some of them, I guess, because it's what my pastor needed. And so that's really where it started. It clearly escalated into much worse, but I would say those are some of the initial grooming stages is the joking silly conversations, personal questions, and then it started creating that need of I need you to help me be successful in ministry. The other piece that I would feel maybe goes between if we're looking at severity or intensity of grooming, this one kind of straddles the line is he very quickly started sharing personal information with me about himself and about his colleagues and about the church. He told me some things about Crossroads. I mean, just things that I had no business knowing as a congregant, confidential information that he never should have shared with me about himself and others. And so at the time, I was giving advice and input, but I felt flattered that he wanted to share that with me as well. JULIE ROYS  30:14 And I'm sure as you know, now, your story is not an isolated incident. This is a pattern that plays out over and over again. And at least from sitting in my seat, the one characteristic that I see that makes people vulnerable is it's the ones that are really sincere, and helper type people. And it's so awful because it's actually such a virtuous thing that the victim possesses as a character quality that predators seem to be able to just sniff out and just be able to exploit. And I know that's how you feel, and what you feel Patrick did to you. When did you first realize, Oh, my goodness, this is a dangerous relationship? MORIAH SMOTHERS  30:59 Yeah, it was fairly early on, really. I don't know that I would have said dangerous, but I recognize that I was looking forward to him communicating with me. And so it was even small, but I thought, Man, that's not healthy. And I think a common belief is that anyone who is targeted , they're struggling in their marriage. Jack and I have a wonderful marriage. We did before I was groomed we were doing well during and praise the Lord, we have a wonderful marriage now. And so I'd like to debunk that, that it's only broken people or broken marriages that are targeted, because that's not true. But it was pretty early on, I realized I'm looking forward to him texting, and that was messed up. And this is the other spot that man, if I could do anything and go back, this is the spot I would go back and redo this is I thought I could handle it. Because I really again believed that my pastor would honor his fiduciary duty of putting me and my family's best interest above his own. And so I said, Hey, I need to talk to you about something, let's FaceTime. And so we hopped on a FaceTime. And I tell him, I said, This is so humiliating, I'm humiliated, and I know you're going to be embarrassed. But I'm looking forward to you contacting me, I think I'm attracted to you. And so we need to cut communication. And he reported this in the Christian Post very differently than what had happened. I think he said, I hooked him. But what really happened is that I asked him, I said, this is again, I didn't understand, I thought it was my fault. I said, we need to stop all communication totally like this has to be done and over. And he said your family is too important to our church, to the ministry. I love your family, we need to be in contact still. So do you trust me to pray about it? Absolutely. I'll trust my pastor at that time to pray about it for me. And I said, Sure, I understand that. I didn't want to lose our community. And that I trusted him to pray about it. And Julie the part I would go back and do is that was my moment in time to tell Jack, but I did not tell Jack about what was going on. Because Jack is a man of character and integrity, we would have been out of that church so fast. I didn't want to lose our people in our community group. And what I didn't realize is Patrick came back and I basically just opened the doors for full on grooming and abuse. And he said, Moriah, you know, I never do this. I never say this when I preach from the stage. But God has told me that if we stay above reproach, then he wants us to be together. And it was a strong implication of like, for ministry purposes. And I was floored by that. But Jack and I are happily married and we're doing great. I had no desire to be out of my marriage ever. And so I was really confused by that. But he was very convincing that this was a word from the Lord. So things accelerated from there in a really tragic way. JULIE ROYS  34:03 And this is spiritual abuse 101. It doesn't get much more blatant than God told me. And this should be a red flag for anyone. But again, we're not trained in how to identify these red flags. But when somebody says God told me, I mean, how do you argue with that, right? I mean, it's just really manipulative language that somebody would use. MORIAH SMOTHERS  34:28 He's my pastor, I trusted pastors, healthy relationships. My dad was a pastor, like, I had no reason to think there would be any kind of predatory behavior. Like none at the time. I clearly know better now, but. JULIE ROYS  34:43 So about this time is when the relationship progressed to you and Patrick meeting in public parking lots, which is kind of a next step. Would you describe the frequency of these meetings and the nature of them? MORIAH SMOTHERS  35:02 So I remember the first one he asked to me. So we could figure out this is a common phrase of how to manage the tension of being in communication, but it not being romantic. That was the first time we met. I vividly remember how sweaty my hands were. I knew I shouldn't be in this situation. But I also, truthfully, I still trusted him that, okay, if I meet with him, then we can figure out a way for this to be over. That didn't happen. And so we did on and off continue to meet. I would say it was, I honestly don't remember a number. I would say maybe once every couple weeks or so. It was almost always surrounding the situation of I tried to end it, he would say, let me figure this out, figure out a plan so you don't have to leave the church. And then let's meet as our last time. And so when we would meet honestly, like, we talk about church, we would talk about our personal lives. It was a lot about how he was struggling just being a pastor managing everything difficult relationships. I felt like I was his counselor most of the time, it was a lot of that. Sadly, it did progress. The abuse never became fully sexual, but there was hand holding and hugging things of that nature that happened. Yeah. JULIE ROYS  36:23 And he said, in the Christian Post article that at one point, you tried to kiss him, but he put the brakes on. True? Not true? MORIAH SMOTHERS  36:32 I don't remember that happening. There was embracing that happened. So I could see him thinking that's where it was going. JULIE ROYS  36:40 So you wrote in your timeline that you sent me that during this period, you felt like, quote, an addict living two lives. Would you explain that? MORIAH SMOTHERS  36:49 So the timeline I sent you I wrote in 2020, when things were very fresh. I had no language surrounding abuse, trauma, ACSA. And so that feeling was still is still correct of how I felt. What I know now, though, is what that is was trauma- bonding. That happens in a cycle of abuse of feeling like very affirmed, valued the love bombing, and then trying to end it. And it's like this very toxic cycle. And so that's what it was, is I, frankly, I hated who I was becoming. I love being a wife and a mom, and I love my job. So there were so many beautiful parts of my life. I loved the church I was serving, we were super engaged. So I felt like there were all these beautiful parts of my life. And then there was this really toxic, ugly thing that I didn't know how to get out of. Even as a grown woman educated, I didn't know how to get out of this. And so that's where I just felt so painfully torn. Because at this point, I knew things were bad. Like I knew they were very bad, because we were communicating every single day, multiple times a day, even when I would end the relationship, he would still use phrases from the stage to communicate with me that were like inside praises. He'd post on social media photos, but he put little photos like emojis in the corner that were messages to me, and the communication was all the time. So I now know it was trauma bonding, but the truth is, at the time, I saw no way out without imploding our life. And so I stayed in it, because I didn't know how not to. JULIE ROYS  38:30 And it's interesting. And I hear this all the time, the minimizing of the devastation that a relationship that didn't go there was no sexual intercourse, but had obviously a sexual component to it had this kind of grooming involved in this kind of trauma-bonding, love-bonding, I mean, all of these things, the devastation is massive, isn't it? MORIAH SMOTHERS  39:00 Yeah. And I think what's really hard to account for and if I'm just being really honest, I don't expect for anyone who hasn't experienced this or walked with someone to understand this. But physically, what happened was minimal compared to the emotional and the spiritual wreckage of feeling like your pastor should be doing the right thing, and he's not. I would say I ended this relationship. I use that term very loosely, it was abuse, but I ended it two or three times every single month. It was ongoing. That was most of our conversations with me trying to figure out how to get out of this. And there was a lot of communication in between as well but yeah, I think what's not accounted for when these situations come out, is just the emotional spiritual psychological damage that's left in its wake and it's horrific. JULIE ROYS  39:57 And Jack during this whole time, are you seeing red flags or things that are making you go, what's going on? Or was this pretty much hidden from your sight? JACK SMOTHERS  40:06 I had no evidence if that's what you mean. But what I did see was Moriah's natural demeanor is very light hearted, very life giving just a joy to be around. And that was stolen. She became darker she became her humor became vulgar, her language in terms of profanity that started to occur. And so I remember asking her one time, like, hey, something is changing about you, and I don't know what it is. Is it something that's wrong with our relationship? Or what can I do to get us back on track? But something is off, and I don't know what it is. And she couldn't answer because she was in a cycle of abuse at the time. MORIAH SMOTHERS  40:51 And Julie, so horribly as well that I would sometimes bring this home to Jack. Like I was so torn up about what was happening privately that I would put that on our marriage and say, but if you treated me like this, when it had nothing to do with Jack. Towards the end, I even started saying, let's move, let's apply for jobs, let's go somewhere else, because I thought that's my only way out of this. And so was pushing so hard to escape, but I made life pretty hard for Jack for a while, because I was not me anymore. JULIE ROYS  41:24 Moriah, eventually, your relationship with Patrick included sexting. In fact, that was the title of the Christian Post article, basically, How Sexting Brought This Pastor Down. Would you describe the nature, the frequency, who initiated the sexting? How did that happen? MORIAH SMOTHERS  41:46 But that also had a grooming process to it. I've never been a selfie person, I think I'm just old enough that I missed that kind of way. Patrick would send dozens of photos a day. And so I think there was a grooming process with getting me to that place. But the sexting did occur, it is incredibly painful to talk about still. I don't remember the frequency, it wasn't truthfully, many times what I would consider overt sexting. But the ongoing dialogue for us was highly flirtatious and inappropriate. What I would say was over happened, I don't know probably less than 10 times, and it was always followed by like, guilt, shame, that can't happen again. And then we were back there. JULIE ROYS  42:33 All of this did remain secret until May of 2020. And that's when this police report came to the attention of pastors at the Hills church. How was there a police report that made this apparent to them? MORIAH SMOTHERS  42:47 I honestly I still don't have all the information. Because when everything did eventually come out, we were very much so left in the dark. So I don't fully understand all the details to this. But my knowledge, what I do know is that there was a time we were meeting in a public parking lot. We'd met there several times, the people working in that location had noticed it. And so after so many times of meeting there they called the police to check because they thought it was odd that two cars were parked there. I think we were there after hours even. And so a policeman came out just said, Hey, what's going on? Nothing was going on. And so, it wasn't any kind of like, charges or anything. It was just documentation that we had been there. And so I don't know the process of how that actually got to the Hills, but it did. Once that happened, I didn't know anything about that. I think we were on vacation as a family. And what I've been told not being involved in that is that Dave and Daryl, the other pastors, met with Patrick, confronted him with what was in the police report, which wasn't much information, just that we'd met there several times, and it was documented. Patrick spun a story that there was nothing going on, that he and I had only met there once. And Jack and I haven't seen this report. So we're not really sure what's in it. That he said we had only met there once, and that we were handing off a binder or a book or something. And so he had been there before, but I hadn't. And so very shortly after that, Patrick was also instructed not to contact me because they wanted to verify his story. Patrick got in contact with me immediately said this is exactly what happened. I remember he said, I took a bullet for us. And so you're gonna get called into a meeting with Dave and an elder, and this is what you need to say to backup my story. And so I knew what was going on. We got home from our vacation. Dave called and asked me to a meeting, and I asked if Jack could go with me, and he said no, he cannot. And so I think again, I was still I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. I think I was hoping that if Jack was there, it would come out and maybe I could be free from this, but Jack wasn't allowed there. And so I remember sitting in the parking lot of where I was going to meet the pastor and the elder. And Patrick called me and he said, these are the exact lies I told. If you want to save your family, my family, the church, and also they were fundraising for a new building at the time. And that money he indicated to me was associated with him, because he had raised those funds. He said, If you want to save all these things,  then you need to backup my story. And I consented, or I agreed to backup his story. And so I think in the Christian Post article, it read very much so like I eagerly and enthusiastically agreed to lie. But I felt very much if I'm gonna lose my family and my church, then I'll lie. And so I did lie. I sat down with the pastor and the elder. They very much so wanted to hear the version of the situation, I told them, so I didn't have to lie much, because they wanted to believe it. And so I did lie in that situation. JULIE ROYS  46:03 And did you volunteer to step down from the advisory board at this time? MORIAH SMOTHERS  46:08 I did. Yeah, that was the primary way Patrick had access to me just individually without Jack around. Otherwise, Jack and I did ministry together, we were pretty much always together. So I said, I'm happy to step down from that. I guess that's appropriate. And they didn't want to raise any red flags about why I was stepping down. So they told me no, please don't do that. JULIE ROYS  46:28 Wow. And you secretly were trying to get out. MORIAH SMOTHERS  46:33 I was trying to get out in a lot of ways. But except being fully truthful with Jack, which would have got me out. JULIE ROYS  46:42 So Jack, what was your response when you heard the rendition of the story that Moriah told you? JACK SMOTHERS  46:50 The story that I received was, she made a silly mistake and met Patrick in a parking lot to receive a binder about church. Sounds pretty innocent when you are in a loving relationship with someone who has, over a long period of time, established a firm foundation of trust, you're raised in a family where people treat you in a trustworthy way. It builds a lot of gullibility in a way and so I didn't really second guess it. I just said, Oh, man, that was silly. Let's just learn from it and move on. And in retrospect, that was maybe not the most loving thing to do. The most loving thing to do would have been to ask more questions, if I felt uneasy about it. Yeah. JULIE ROYS  47:33 Yeah. It's tough, though. You don't want to be the jealous husband, who doesn't believe. It's a very difficult situation to be in. At this point, Moriah, you asked Patrick to basically get some outside help, right? Like, I mean, you knew he had this outside Advisory Council board, whatever you want to call it, mentors that he looked up to. How did he respond when you asked him to get this help? MORIAH SMOTHERS  48:02 Yeah. So all the previous times I'd ended it, it was really just between the two of us and I just want it to be done. But this time, I said, clearly, I felt like this was, again, I was spiritually very twisted. But I feel like this is God telling us like this has to be done. This was our chance to end it. And he didn't feel like he could end it, that he needed me. And so I asked him to just, I begged him, I'd said, like, please just talk to somebody tell somebody what is going on. Because this entire time, I had some real questions like even like I said, this an affair, isn't it? Nice to no, because it's not physical like that it's not. And I asked him, I said, please just talk to somebody get their input. And so he told me, he did talk to a couple people. One of them was a former colleague and friend that was in his previous church in Texas. And then also he communicated that he talked to Jim Burgen about it. I didn't know either of these people at all. But he told me that he was advised by both of them to not share any of this information with people at the Hills, the other pastors, they just didn't need to know the details, and it would cause a difficult situation. And so I thought he had been advised by wise counselors, which is what I asked him to do. JULIE ROYS  49:19 And of course, you have no way of knowing whether that actually happened or not. But I did reach out to Jim Burgen, and asked him specifically about this, about whether or not he ever encouraged Patrick not to confess the details of his relationship with you to the church. And this is what Jim Burger said. JIM BURGEN  49:37 I knew they were having struggles. I didn't know he was meeting in cars with women. Not at all. And if I had known that, I would have absolutely done the opposite of what you're hearing; cover it up, don't disclose. It would have been the opposite of that is you've got to cut this relationship. You need to go to Savannah, you need to go to your leaders. I was fresh off the heels of sabbatical. I was on a sabbatical for six months at the end of 2019, dealing just with a lot of exhaustion. So at that point, I would have been really raw and open because I was in such a tremendous, intimate relationship with my elders. They knew the inside out of my heart. I would have pointed in that direction too. Whether he had that or not, I don't know. But that's what my advice would have been. I never, never ever in a million years would say, cover this up, keep it a secret, don't give details because basically what I've been counseling this keep going just don't get caught, which would be absolutely the opposite of what I would ever have counseled anybody. JULIE ROYS  50:36 Again, Jim Burgen weighing in on his perspective of what happened. It didn't take a long time after this whole police report surfaced for the truth to come out. So apparently, the church sends Patrick off on, I'm sorry, this study break. I've seen so many study breaks. For pastors, they get caught with things like this, you wish they would just be upfront with what's going on. But instead, it's covered up from the church. And I guess he needs to do more study about something. But during that study break what was happening between the two of you? MORIAH SMOTHERS  51:15 Yeah, so during the study break, keep in mind, I was still on the advisory board, because they hadn't taken me off. This was also not disclosed to the advisory board at all about what was really going on, their concerns. We were still in communication. I think there were attempts to slow the communication down, that it was frequent. There was also up until this point, things had been bad. But again, most of our communication was just like silly, everyday things, light hearted. Things got dark after this and really heavy in a way that it hadn't been. There was a lot of like power reversals. And I remember Patrick being very clear that like, I have control of this situation. And he would want me to like verbalize consent at that. There was a situation where some pastor I have no clue who it was, it was just in the news that he had probably an affair, which is the language they use, which would have been abuse. And I said something to Patrick about it. And I said, “Hey, I read this story. Did you read that?” He had. And I said, “Doesn't that sound like what's happening here?” And he like, forced me to verbally agree that's not what's happening here. This is consensual, and so it just got really heavy. He also started pushing to blame. He was like, let's reassess when we're gonna be together. And I mean, I remember the clearest time again, only in hindsight of being gaslit was, I was just feeling very convicted. And I said something like Patrick, I'm not leaving Jack, I have no desire to end my marriage. I'm not doing that. And he somehow flipped it around, and I ended up apologizing to him, that I would even think he might ask me to do that. And so just really, really sick, twisted. But the communication was still often. JULIE ROYS  54:07 And how old was he at this point? MORIAH SMOTHERS  54:09 So if this was in 2020, he was probably 32 ish? JULIE ROYS  54:13 Thiry-two. It's a lot of responsibility for someone extremely young, really. And he's in his late 20s and pastoring a church of 7000 previous to this. It's just a little bit stunning that someone so young would be given that kind of responsibility. In September 2020, then I'm guessing he comes back from his summer break. And you met in person a few times. Would you describe what happened in those meetings? MORIAH SMOTHERS  54:45 Yeah, so all of those were to wrap things up to end things like again, there was this kind of mounting pressure. It just has to be that and frankly, I was starting to be a mess. Like I had been able to keep my life together pretty much. He would actually say, I know this is hard for you. But just let me shoulder the pressure of keeping this together. I was not doing well at that point in time. And so we met in a parking lot. And again, naively thought, like this is the last time, but that was, every time I was nervous and felt like oh my gosh, would have foreseen and it was, it was scary. That was the first time that he scared me, at the way he was behaving, and I actually had the thought, like, I hope I'm able to get out of this car. And it was just, it felt like things were moving really fast. And so again, I was hopeful that maybe that was the last time. But communication just continued, even though there's so many last times that communication continued still. JULIE ROYS  55:46 So the following month, October 2020, Patrick's wife, Savannah, she discovered some of the messages between the two of you the sexting, I'm guessing she saw? MORIAH SMOTHERS  55:57 Yeah. I don't know exactly what was seen. You read those? Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot of it was just silliness. But then there were things that absolutely indicated that there was sexting and it was highly inappropriate. JULIE ROYS  56:10 You found out about this from Patrick, right, when Savannah found out what was his demeanor and reaction? MORIAH SMOTHERS  56:19 Well, I knew something was a little wrong. We had been communicating. And Julie, I don't think I mentioned this, but early on through the grooming, it was mainly text, emails, and then it switched through social media platforms. And so he was always very thorough, reminding me like, hey, delete our messages, delete our conversations. And we were communicating with an app Words with Friends. We were playing a game on there, and there's a chat feature. And so we'd been communicating, I gotten distracted with something, and had just left our conversation because something happened quickly. And when I came back, I messaged him again, and there was never a response. And so I knew something seemed different because he always responded. But he didn't that time. And so it was all through the evening. I never got a response. I knew something was going on. I think that was I shared maybe a little bit with you at that time. I've minimized I heavily minimized what was going on to Jack. But I did disclose a little bit to him. And it was sometime in the middle of the night, I got an email from a random email address. But the email address and how it was worded was like a lot of inside jokes between us. And the phrasing was really strange. It didn't the email it was from Patrick. We know now he had all this like technology taken. So I don't know how he did this. But he basically said that Savannah found messages. And then he included a bulleted list to say like, these are the lies we've told remember them and back them up about what it was. But the email sounded like silly, like almost joking. It was not like, devastated. It wasn't angry. It was a very strange message. When I knew that this had been discovered, I freaked out. And so I deleted the email, I never responded and I like permanently deleted it from my Gmail. And the next day, he sent another one from the same email and it was just, sorry, with a crying emoji and I deleted that one as well. I did end up telling Jack eventually that he had sent that. So I did know something was coming. But I didn't know the fallout that was about to happen. JULIE ROYS  58:30 Jack, how did you find out? JACK SMOTHERS  58:32 Moriah disclosed a little bit of what was going on. But really it was Dave Bowersox who called and shared the communication, the sexting conversations that had occurred, and in a PDF document. And so I read through those, and yeah, that's how I found out. Of course I was devastated at the time. But my really, I think God was very gracious over me at that point in time because all I could think about was our kids. Sorry. Two wonderful and amazing children that they deserve a safe home. They deserve to feel protected. And this was an attack on our family. We have a great example in scripture of Christ protects his bride, how Christ dies to himself to protect his family. So that's where we at. Sometimes protecting your family looks like getting on your knees and praying. Sometimes protecting your family looks like asking a lot of questions. listening intently. I was thankful that in our job, so in higher education, we are required to go through training. I believe it's every year, we're required to complete these modules just on what is Title IX, sexual harassment, all these things. There's one thing that stuck out to me. And it was where there's a power imbalance, there's no such thing as consent. And so I thought, okay, professors, student, doctor, patient, Pastor, congregant. These are all similar relationships where there's a direct power imbalance, there could not have been consent, and I'm smashing all this together. This was not all at one time, this was weeks or maybe months of reflecting and trying to absorb the information that we have. It wasn't until probably a year after it all came out that we really understood ACSA and that entire framework. MORIAH SMOTHERS  1:00:48 But Jack was the first person to raise this piece of information, like how is there consent there as your pastor? And some of the contextual things that I'd never recommend this for anybody, but we were quarantined at the time, with COVID. So we couldn't be with anybody. And so we can laugh about it now a little bit, but it was at the time, just heartbreaking. I was so broken and devastated and confused. It looked like I was coming out of a cult. Like there's this like trauma fog that descends. I didn't know what to do. I followed Jack everywhere in our house. I couldn't be away from him. And so he's grieving and mourning, and I'm following him around and we're quarantined and have little children that were trying to – it was a mess. So everything we did was over Zoom about all the disclosures. JULIE ROYS  1:01:41 So how did you feel the church responded to you, Moriah? MORIAH SMOTHERS  1:01:45 I don't want to over exaggerate this. And I can share details. The abuse from my pastor was horrible. The way the church responded was ten times more traumatizing than the abuse. JULIE ROYS  1:02:04 That concludes part one of my interview with Moriah and Jack Smothers, and we're ending on a bit of a cliffhanger. But this is something that I've heard over and over again from victims. The original abuse is horrific, for sure. But it's easier to understand that the church can have one bad apple than to realize that it's not just one bad apple. There's a whole system protecting and managing that one bad apple, often at the expense of the victim. And you'll hear that part of Moriah and Jack's story in part two, and it's such an important story. So I hope you'll be watching for that to release in just a few days. But thank you so much for listening to The Roys Report. And if you've appreciated this podcast and our investigative work, would you please consider giving a gift to support us? As I've said before, we don't have big corporate sponsors or large donors. We have you, the survivors, advocates, allies and church leaders who care about ridding the church of predators and making it a safer place. Also, this month if you give a gift of $30 or more, we'll send you Christy Boulware's book, Nervous Breakthrough; Finding Freedom From Fear and Anxiety in a World That Feeds It. This is such a great resource for anyone struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, or really any mental health issue. So to get the book and support the Roys report, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. Also, just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcast, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you are blessed and encouraged. Read more

 When we roll into Sal's Speakeasy tomorrow night for our monthly gig, we'll be bringing with us a tune that has been rocking audiences for more than eight decades. And that, brothers and sisters, is the definition of a hit! It's a Duke Ellington composition that was given a whole new lease on life through some evocative lyrics by the great Bob Russell.

Just how close is the Church to fulfilling the Great Commission? Find out with guests Doug Cobb and Bob Russell along with hosts Tim Moore and Nathan Jones on the television program, Christ in Prophecy!

Bob Russell discusses the importance of praying for the church during the end of days.

Bob Russell discusses the importance of praying for the church during the end of days.

This is the Christian's Hour Welcome to the Christian's Hour Broadcast. Our speaker this month is Bob Russell. Bob, served as the pastor of Southeast Christian Church for 40 years before retiring. Southeast, one of the largest churches in America, is located in Louisville, Kentucky. Throughout the month of April Bob is encouraging us to look forward eternally in his message series from the Bible's book of 2 Thessalonians chapter 2; Get Ready for Jesus. Throughout this series on the return of Jesus, Bob has emphasized that Jesus return could be any time now. As we wait expectantly, the writer of Thessalonians insists that Christians wait with diligence in the marketplace, being the best witness we can be and not growing wearing in doing what is right. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/326/29

Connect with us: http://www.maplegrove.church/connectWebsite: http://www.maplegrove.church/Facebook: http://www.fb.com/mgccbtown/Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mgccbtown/

Episode 51 is a great one! We dare say there isn't a ministry leader today that won't benefit in some way to listening to Bob Russell's wisdom. Dyke and Rebecca sit down with Bob about several aspects of Kingdom work: preaching, the restoration movement, and humility. It's all here to hear. Listen now!To contact Bob you can find information atBobRussell.orgRemember to Register for Waypoint's The Art of the Sermon coming to 5 locations in 5 states! Learn More & Register TodayRemember you can always find us atwaypointchurchpartners.comFollow us atfacebook.com/WaypointChurchPartnersinstagram @waypointchurchpartnersThe Waypoint Podcast is hosted and produced by Dyke McCordhosted, produced, and edited by Rebecca HottIf you want to find out more about supporting Waypoint Church Plants head toiplantchurches.comRegister for future Waypoint Events or reach out to any of our Staff!

“[N]ow we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit that is from God” (2 Cor. 2:1). Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, CA 2D9  5 Epiphany (Year A) 11:00 a.m.  Sunday 5 February 2023                                       Isaiah 58:1-9a Psalm 112:1-9 2 Corinthians 2:1-12 Matthew 5:13-20    You are the salt of the earth. At 6:00 p.m., at the height of the century's worst winter storm, I put on waterproof biking pants and a jacket to go walking in the darkness. Rain poured down in sheets. In the Presidio forest, along the ridge, 60 knot gusts of wind tore through the Monterey Cypress and Eucalyptus trees. It sounded like a deafening freight train. As debris landed all around I felt nagging fear but also awe in the face of such power and beauty, in the presence of God. I could see no sign of another living soul except for a single light far offshore in thirty foot swells outside the Golden Gate. This week I gradually began to understand the news. Our seminary, the Church Divinity School of the Pacific will be closing its classrooms for in person learning and most likely selling their property (which lies across the street from the University of California, Berkeley).[i] The university motto Fiat Lux, means “let there be light.” And today I want to begin by expressing what a great light our seminary has been for me during my whole adult life. I remember going to Thursday evening community eucharists there during the ferocious El Nino storms of my first year in college. As an eighteen year old I loved the Episcopal Church. Berkeley with its four Episcopal churches, two break-away churches, a university chaplaincy, a kind of Anglican newspaper (called the New Oxford Review) and seminary seemed like heaven to me. I have fond memories of studying in the Graduate Theological Library from the time it first opened. My college chaplain Peter Haynes had us meet in the seminary parking lot to drive together for my first retreat at the Bishop's Ranch. The people in this setting profoundly shaped my faith as a guide to a compassionate, generous, beautiful, uniting, and thoughtful way of being. This faith opened me to the experiences of people of different backgrounds, even of different religions and of no religion. This faith also grounded me in traditions that connect us to our deepest humanity. Before long I was kneeling on the warm red carpet at St. Clement's Church in Berkeley and getting ordained as a priest. Soon after that I began participating in monthly Faculty Clergy lunches. John Kater first introduced the idea of online learning to us a year after the invention of the world wide web. For twenty years I participated in Pacific Coast Theological Society meetings at the seminary with Owen Thomas, Patricia Codron, Huston Smith, Herman Waetjen.[ii] I cherish my clergy colleagues who were educated there and their teachers. I can see in my mind's eye the busy brick refectory at lunchtime with students and teachers from across the country engaged in friendly talk on a fall day as the liquid amber tree leaves outside the windows burst into an impossibly beautiful redness. You may be getting a sense for the heartbreak I feel about our seminary, that with others I am mourning its loss. This brings us to one of Jesus' most important lessons about how to live, known in the Gospel of Matthew as the Sermon on the Mount. Let me briefly talk about the central elements of Jesus' teaching and then introduce a psychologist and two theologians who give us further insights into its meaning. Today we hear the second part of the Sermon on the Mount. It begins with Jesus saying “blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers” (Mt. 5). Jesus does not say that one thing leads to the other as if we should somehow try to be poor in spirit in order that we might be blessed. No, Jesus speaks to US. We are the people who mourn, the humble ones frustrated by injustice, longing for goodness and mercy. Indeed Jesus says to us this morning, “YOU are the salt of the earth… YOU are the light of the world.” The Greek word “you” is plural. It involves all of us. It is imperative to notice that Jesus is not asking us to change who we are. We are already what we need to be. We do not have to become something entirely new. We just need to learn how to magnify the goodness we already possess. For this metaphor Jesus chooses things that in small quantities have a massive effect. A tiny bit of salt brings out the flavor of a large meal. You are that salt, enriching the banquet for everyone. A single candle flame can be seen from 1.6 miles away. It takes half an hour to walk the distance to that tiny light that might guide someone home. So again Jesus is not saying that this is a cause and effect relationship, that by doing something good you become blessed. This is not a matter of punishment or reward. You already are blessed, so make the most of it! In an often cited passage Marianne Williamson writes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?” “You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”[iii] In 2009 I attended a training in Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communications. It changed my life.[iv] Rosenberg asserts that we all have a kind of light or energy or life that animates us. We have needs that we often do not understand for food, safety and love. Instead of trying to compel others, to force them to do we want, we should instead learn to state our need and then ask them for help. We do this knowing that all human beings have a deep longing to be of service to others. This all begins with seeing that light in other people. And this requires that we learn to quiet the critical voice that judges others and ourselves (Rosenberg calls the jackal). He recommends that instead of using judgment words (like “you are always late”) or presuming that we know what another person is thinking, we should learn the gift of the question. We need to learn how to simply ask what another person needs. Instead of an inner life in which we criticize ourselves we need to ask ourselves what we need. Today at the Forum I talked with my favorite teacher Margaret Miles about her newest book on how the third century theologian St. Augustine of Hippo (345-430 CE) changed in his old age. Quite often we quote his words when we invite everyone to the communion table saying, “Be what you see. Receive what you are.”[v] This is almost a riddle with the answer – the body of Christ. It reminds us that we are God's children. We are salt and light, even when we may not feel very close to God. Augustine talks about the difficulty of believing in miracles and what our bodies will be like in the resurrection. He says that these ideas matter only as much as they influence how we live now. In his prayer addressed to God he says that we are not only, “instructed so as to see you… but also so as to grow strong enough to hold you, and the one who cannot see you for the distance, may yet walk along the road by which he will arrive and see you and hold you…” To us he says, ”Walk without fear, run, but stay on the road… do not stand still, do not turn back, do not get sidetracked… Any who find that they may have gone astray must return to the road and walk on it, and any who find they are on the road must go on walking until they arrive.”[vi] One of my favorite writers of our generation is the gay English Roman Catholic theologian James Allison. The Stanford University professor René Girard (1923-2015) deeply influenced him. Girard taught that all human societies have what he calls the scapegoat mechanism. We covet, that is we want what other people have, this leads to instabilities and social tensions. These in turn are resolved by punishing or banishing an individual or group. We fix our social problems by blaming others. According to Allison and Girard, Jesus overturns the scapegoat mechanism and makes possible the realm of God in which all people are loved. In my clergy group I heard the following story about James Alison. For many years he lived in Brazil. But not long after moving to Spain, a Brazilian bishop began a long and ultimately successful process of removing Alison from the priesthood. This was heartbreaking new for Alison. Then one day he received a phone call. The voice on the other end of the line told him that it was Francis, Pope Francis. Alison felt sure that it had to be a friend playing a trick on him until a number of questions fully established that this was the actual pope and that he was giving him the “power of the keys” and effectively reinstating him as a priest.[vii] As a gay man Alison was himself scapegoated but his light shines too brightly to be diminished. He does not hide. I give thanks for Augustine's reminder to stay on the road to God even when our father seems so far off. I give thanks for Marshall Rosenberg's reminder that our critical inner voice makes it hard to see the light in others. Above all, I am so grateful for the compassionate, generous and thoughtful light of the people associated with our seminary. They contributed to the faith that has guided me to this day. That night a few weeks ago out in the storm. I encountered God. Looking at that lonely light on the ocean reminded me of one of the kids named William Hoyt who came to my ordination at St. Clement's Church in Berkeley. His dad was a nuclear physicist and his mom a partner in a prestigious law firm. William grew up to be the captain of a tugboat. I wondered if he was out there in the storm, if it was his light that was going to guide someone home that night. In the deafening freight train storm that surrounds us your light shines in this way also. Give the gift of the question. Do not turn back. Be what you see, receive who you are. You are the salt of the earth. [i] “CDSP Announces Shift to Fully Hybrid Education Model.” CDSP 31 January 2023. https://cdsp.edu/2023/01/cdsp-announces-shift-to-fully-hybrid-education-model/ [ii] I first met Norman Gottwald, Bob Russell, Ted Peters, Durwood Foster, Philip Clayton, Mark Graves, Darren Erisman, Sharon Burch, Scott MacDougall and dozens of other friends at Pacific Coast Theological Society. [iii] Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/928-our-deepest-fear-is-not-that-we-are-inadequate-our [iv] Ursula, “Nonviolent Communications Workshop,” Christ Episcopal Church, Los Altos,  29 April 2009. Notebook page 134. See also Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communications: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, Your World in Harmony with Your Values. Audiobook. https://sfpl.bibliocommons.com/v2/record/S93C2415756 [v] St. Augustine. “If you are Christ's body and members, it is your mystery that is placed on the table of the Lord, it is your mystery that you receive… Be what you see and receive what you are.” Catholic Digest. https://www.catholicdigest.com/from-the-magazine/quiet-moment/st-augustine-if-you-are-christs-body-and-members-it-is-your-mystery/ Mary Carter Greene's translation: "Behold what you are. Become what you receive.” [vi] From Margaret Ruth Miles, Beautiful Bodies (Forthcoming). Augustine, Confessions 7:21 and En ps. 31, tr. Maria Boulding, Essential Expositions of the Psalms (Hyde Park, NY: New City Press, 2015) 319-20. [vii] I heard this story on different occasions from Donald Schell and Pat Kiefert. Some clarifying elements might be found in James Alison's Wikipedia article. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Alison

12/4/2022 Bob Russell "Why I Love the Church"