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Latest podcast episodes about wetoo

Your Faith Journey - Finding God Through Words, Song and Praise

Last time I was here was the weekend of the birth of my Grandson – 6 years ago. So much has happened since then. Covid – change in pastors, and so much more. Through it all we pray and hope that Jesus has walked with you and me and that we have noticed his presence and we have shared him with others. I don't often share personal memories in sermons but today there is a relevant thread. I started seminary in the fall of 1976. Young, newly married, first apartment, and starting seminary. Preaching Class. I had grown up my whole life in the church and heard sermons every Sunday. (cause I had to be dying to not go to church) But now I was to be the preacher and say something profound in a sermon. My first sermon - I was assigned Jeremiah 31:31-34 for Lent 5 I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 34No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, “Know the LORD,” for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more. A few years later, I graduated from seminary and received my first call in this synod. I went to my first congregation where I began visiting an active member of the congregation, dying of cancer. Her death was my first funeral, the little country church was packed. Again to preach and say something profound. Text – Lent 5 John 12:23-25, “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground, it remains alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” I don't remember much about either sermon, but these texts for Lent 5 always stuck with me – because in the end it didn't matter much what I said, what matters is – Did the hears see Jesus? Did they know Jesus' presence, compassion, love, grace? The history of the protestant reformation has a written record, but also a record by artist Lucas Cranach. He was a friend and colleague of Martin Luther, lived in Wittenberg, and was also under the protection of Elector John of Saxony; he was the Elector's court painter of Saxony. He has a painting that also was reproduced by virtue of the newly invented printing press – which catches the essence of preaching, and this text – We wish to see Jesus. It shows Martin Luther preaching, and the congregation listening, but between Martin and the congregation, is Jesus on the cross. The point is: as Luther is preaching, the congregation is seeing Jesus, not Luther. That is the goal of preaching – helping everyone – including the preacher to SEE JESUS! Today is the last regular Sunday in Lent before Palm Sunday and Holy Week. We read from John, Jesus has been anointed by Mary Magdalene, entered Jerusalem with palms, and now begins his last teaching before the LAST SUPPER. Some Greeks – foreigners, seek to see Jesus. Philip went and told Andrew, Andrew tells Jesus. The Greeks were thinkers. They had witnesses the rituals and sacrifices in the temple. They had experienced all the rules and regulation that the priests and religious leaders has put in place. They had come to Jerusalem for the Passover Feast. They had heard about Jesus, and this new thing God was doing, and they asked to SEE JESUS. They did not want another ritual, they did not want another sacrifice. They wanted to see Jesus. The ancient scriptures have a way of still being relevant today. The Greeks were troubled by all the things religious leaders and worshipers were doing in the temple that did not relate to God. TODAY we have rising numbers of people – either nones (who have no religious preference, or – spiritual, but not religious, those who don't find Jesus in today's church, or those wounded by the church. People are still looking for Jesus. Lots of things happen in today's churches, and not all of it points to Jesus. We have the rise of Christian Nationalism on one hand and on the other hand we have churches working on issues of justice, that can't articulate the rational about how that relates to Jesus. If the preaching of the church, if the ministry of the church, if the outreach of the church does not point to Jesus, then what is its purpose? In all we say and do, it is about Jesus. Just like when two children are talking about the children's sermon. The pastor asks questions, and one kid says to the other – the answer is always Jesus. Our Presiding Bishop, Elizabeth Eaton once said, “We have to be able to articulate Jesus or we look like the action wing of a political party. “ It is not just about SEEING JESUS from afar. It is about seeing Jesus, knowing Jesus is present in the world, knowing Jesus cares and loves us, and knowing that forgiveness, grace, and acceptance are offered to us without us having to deserve, pay, inherit, or earn it. The price is paid, the cost carried by Jesus. It is not just seeing a visual picture of Jesus. It is about seeing and hearing Jesus in our words and our actions. Seeing Jesus in the face of the refugee, the homeless, the abused, the grieving, the hunger… Them seeing Jesus in us and hearing Jesus as we reach out to those in need and to all of us as we seek to navigate this crazy world. WE TOO need to see Jesus. There is a crisis of mental stress in the world, loneliness, fear, anxiety, and all the rest. We need to see Jesus in our lives, in the community, in the world – in church, in preaching so we can be empowered to continue to be Jesus and share Jesus with others. And find see Jesus and his work for ourselves, to remind us of God's grace, love, forgiveness, and hope. My guess is that the Greeks that come to see Jesus are looking for something more. Something that would transform them. Something that would change their life, help them lose their current life and gain something new! That is the heart of Jesus response to them and the crowd. One of my favorite theologians, Frederick Buechner, put it this way: Doing the work you're best at doing and like to do best, hearing great music, having great fun, seeing something very beautiful, weeping at somebody else's tragedy—all these experiences are related to the experience of salvation because in all of them two things happen: (1) you lose yourself, and (2) you find that you are more fully yourself than usual A closer analogy is the experience of love. When you love somebody, it is no longer yourself who is the center of your own universe. It is the one you love who is. You forget yourself. You deny yourself. You give of yourself, so that by all the rules of arithmetical logic there should be less of yourself than there was to start with. Only by a curious paradox there is more. You feel that at last you really are yourself. The experience of salvation involves the same paradox. Jesus put it like this: "Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it." You give up your old self-seeking self for the love of others and thereby become more yourself at last. You must die with Christ so that you can rise with him, Paul says. It is what baptism is all about. You do not love God so that, tit for tat, God will then save you. To love God is to be saved. To love anybody is a significant step along the way. We do not love God and live for GOD so we will go to Heaven. Whichever side of the grave you happen to be talking about, to love God and live for GOD is God's Kingdom here, now. A taste of heaven. It is a gift, not an achievement. You can make yourself moral. You can make yourself religious. But you can't make yourself love. "We love," John says, "Because GOD first loved us." (1 John 4:19) Jesus is in Jerusalem, he is looking ahead to the Last Supper, his arrest, dying on a cross on Good Friday, and then the gift of NEW LIFE that comes on Easter morning as the stone is rolled away. Jesus demonstrates God's love for us, giving his life so that we might have life. It takes a life time then for us to contemplate that love and transform ourselves to be giving that love away. I am here today to make a presentation after lunch on the demographics of your community. What are the folks that live here like, folks who drive by, who see the church, but may not know what goes one here. The projections say that of the folks that drive down Dobie Road, 61% either do not know that life giving love of Jesus, have drifted away, or have been wounded by a church – especially churches that rely on legalism and shaming – instead of sharing the life giving love of Jesus. That is your mission field, sharing Jesus with one another, and finding connections to share that love from here out into the lives of the people that drive by every day. Let them see Jesus!!

A World of Difference
Mary DeMuth: Unleashing the Power of Writing on Healing and Empowerment After Abuse

A World of Difference

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2023 56:57


In a world of secrets and betrayal, Mary DeMuth found her voice through writing. But when she mustered the courage to share her story, she faced the unthinkable: rejection from loved ones. Now, she's on a mission to confront abuse within religious institutions, but will the church be ready to listen?This episode is sponsored by Better Health.My special guest is Mary DeMuthMary DeMuth is an accomplished writer and speaker with an extensive body of work, including almost 50 published books. Her latest release, the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge, showcases her dedication to helping others restory their lives through the power of words. In addition to her literary achievements, Mary is a survivor of childhood abuse, and her book We Too sheds light on the complex issue of abuse within faith communities. Through her writing and advocacy, Mary has become a powerful voice for change, challenging religious institutions to address and prevent abuse. Her insights and personal experiences make her a highly respected figure in the field. With a wealth of knowledge and a genuine desire to empower survivors, Mary DeMuth is a guest whose expertise and story will resonate with listeners of "A World of Difference.""I kind of am the, I don't know, the crash test dummy of authors because I've tried everything and there was no romantic story about being discovered one day. It was just a hard slog." Mary DeMuthIn this episode, you will be able to:Discover the transformative power of writing as a tool for healing and self-expression in the aftermath of abuse within religious institutions.Learn about the unique challenges survivors face in finding support and understanding within the context of religious communities and institutions.Gain insight into the historical and contextual interpretation of the Bible, helping survivors navigate its teachings with a deeper understanding and perspective.Explore the importance of differentiating between descriptive and prescriptive passages in the Bible, empowering survivors to embrace the life-affirming messages and discard the harmful ones, often used to spiritually abuse them.Find inspiration and encouragement by hearing the stories of other survivors who have found healing, support, and empowerment, sparking hope for their own journey of recovery."So it was born out of just this frustration that I believe faith communities are some of the best places to heal from trauma and abuse, or they should be. So often they've become not only perpetrators of that kind of violence, but also secondary trauma of not believing, of blaming the victim. Oddly, for me, the church for me was a very healing place. I completely acknowledge that for many people, that is not the truth and not the case." Mary DeMuthGain insight into the unique challenges survivors face. Survivors of abuse within religious settings are confronted with a unique set of challenges. The expectation of religious institutions to serve as safe havens can often lead to greater harm when they fail to provide support and understanding. As Mary highlights, these systems are often ill-equipped to handle cases of abuse, making the journey toward healing more difficult for survivors. This episode provides a crucial look at these challenges and offers guidance for overcoming them.The resources mentioned in this episode are:Pause the podcast and listen at a time when there are no children around.Take care of yourself and pause the episode if you have experienced abuse or if you're having trouble processing your emotions.Visit www.BetterHelp.com/difference to get 10% off your first month of therapy.Sign up for a therapist on BetterHelp.com and get started on your healing journey.Check out Mary DeMuth's website at MaryDemuth.com for her literary work.Listen to Mary DeMuth's daily Prayer podcast with 4.5 million downloads, called Pray Everyday Show.Visit MaryDemuth.com/art for cards, prints, and other artsy fun.Explore Mary DeMuth's literary agency at MaryDemuthLiterary.com.Write and don't worry about perfection. Just get your words down on the page.Read Mary DeMuth's book We Too about the experience of being a survivor of abuse in a church faith-based space.Check out Mary DeMuth's newly released book, the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge.Join her reading challenge: MaryDeMuth.com/BibleLearn more about the impact of spiritual, emotional, and psychological abuse in Mary DeMuth's writing and speaking at the Restore conference in Chicago Oct 12-14, where she and host Lori Adams-Brown will both be speaking. Register here: https://julieroys.com/restore-2023/Follow Mary at:Instagram,Threads,&Twitter:@MaryDeMuthFacebook:AuthorMaryDeMuth/Groups/90DaysBibleFollow A World of Difference at:https://www.twitter.com/@awodpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@aworldofdifferencehttps://www.instagram.com/aworldof.difference/https://www.linkedin.com/company/aworldofdifference/https://www.facebook.com/A-World-of-Difference-613933132591673/https://www.aworldofdifferencepodcast.comThe key moments in this episode are:00:00:00 - Introduction,00:05:00 - Becoming a Writer,00:09:37 - We Too,00:11:32 - Healing in the Church,00:13:30 - Impact and Takeaways,00:15:46 - The Cost of Silence,00:17:32 - Writing for Healing,00:19:17 - Facing Fear and Finding Strength,00:21:15 - Speaking Out and Facing Backlash,00:25:51 - The Burden of Fixing a Broken System,00:30:56 - The Difficulty of Leaving an Abusive Church,00:34:15 - God and Abusive Systems,00:35:53 - Lack of Trauma Awareness in Religious Contexts,00:37:01 - The Long Journey of Healing,00:39:08 - Gaining a New Perspective through Overseas Experience,00:45:51 - Recognizing the Importance of Context and Genre in Bible Reading,00:46:18 - Descriptive vs Prescriptive in Biblical Interpretation,00:47:01 - Challenging Misconceptions about Bathsheba's Blame,00:47:56 - Recognizing Abuse in the Biblical Narrative,00:49:04 - Finding Healing and Hope in Sharing Abuse Stories,The cost of silence is born in our bodies and our souls, our brains, and it comes out, it spills out like hot tea that's overflowing and it's not something you can really keep a lid on. - Lori Adams-BrownTimestamped summary of this episode:00:00:00 - Introduction,The episode deals with heavy topics such as abuse and listener discretion is advised. The host introduces the guest, Mary DeMuth, who is a literary agent, speaker, and author of nearly 50 books. They discuss writing and the journey of becoming a writer.00:05:00 - Becoming a Writer,Mary shares her journey of becoming a writer and offers advice to aspiring writers. She emphasizes the importance of just starting and giving oneself permission to write poorly at first. She also highlights the accessibility of publishing in today's digital age.00:09:37 - We Too,Mary explains that she was inspired to write "We Too" due to brokenness and pain within religious institutions. She believes that faith communities should be safe havens for healing, but often perpetrate abuse or contribute to secondary trauma. Mary shares her own positive experience with church as a healing place.00:11:32 - Healing in the Church,The host shares her recent experience at a church panel on abuse and healing. She mentions survivors who found healing within the church, despite their abusive experiences outside of it. They discuss the importance of creating safe spaces within religious institutions for survivors of trauma and abuse.00:13:30 - Impact and Takeaways,"We Too" has made a significant impact within the community, addressing the issue of abuse in religious contexts. Mary hopes readers will understand the need for churches to become safe havens and to prevent and heal from abuse. The conversation ends00:15:46 - The Cost of Silence,Mary discusses the impact of silence on our bodies and souls and emphasizes the importance of finding a way to share our stories, even if it's through writing. Writing can help process trauma and uncover deeper layers of healing.00:17:32 - Writing for Healing,Mary and the host discuss the power of writing in processing trauma and sharing one's story. Writing allows for a different level of reflection and can lead to unexpected insights and healing.00:19:17 - Facing Fear and Finding Strength,Mary shares her experience of writing a chapter about her abuse and confronting her fears of being disbelieved and rejected by her parents. Despite her fears coming true, she finds strength in standing up for herself and continues to write her story.00:21:15 - Speaking Out and Facing Backlash,The host shares her own experience of speaking out and facing backlash within the church. She discusses the fear of being slandered and the importance of speaking up for survivors of abuse. Mary reflects on her role in the Southern Baptist Convention and the challenges of trying to change a system.00:25:51 - The Burden of Fixing a Broken System,Mary talks about the difficulties of trying to change a broken system and the toll it takes on survivors. She emphasizes the need for healing and providing safe spaces for survivors, rather than expecting them to fix a broken system.00:30:56 - The Difficulty of Leaving an Abusive Church,Mary shares her experience of being in an abusive situation and the internal struggle she faced when deciding whether to stay or leave. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing when one has tried multiple times to repair a broken system but faced resistance each time, indicating that it may be time to leave.00:34:15 - God and Abusive Systems,Mary discusses the misconception that God wants individuals to stay in abusive systems. She highlights the importance of questioning leaders and systems and how the inability to question or challenge authority is a sign of a toxic and abusive situation. She encourages individuals to prioritize their well-being and safety.00:35:53 - Lack of Trauma Awareness in Religious Contexts,Mary points out that many religious systems are not trauma-informed, which can make it challenging for survivors of sexual abuse to find healing and support within a religious context. She highlights the need for more training in churches to address and understand trauma.00:37:01 - The Long Journey of Healing,Mary emphasizes that healing from trauma takes time and cannot be rushed. She shares her personal experience of assuming she had healed after being prayed for but later realizing that trauma can resurface in different stages of life. She encourages survivors to be patient with themselves.00:39:08 - Gaining a New Perspective through Overseas Experience,Mary reflects on her time spent overseas in France and how it shifted her perspective on Christian communities and the interpretation of scripture. She learned to00:45:51 - Recognizing the Importance of Context and Genre in Bible Reading,The Bible is a collection of ancient scriptures written by different people over many years. It is important to recognize the ancient context and different genres of the text when reading it. The guest believes that the Bible has something to say to us today.00:46:18 - Descriptive vs Prescriptive in Biblical Interpretation,Not everything in the Bible is prescriptive, some parts are descriptive. It is crucial to understand the difference between these two approaches when interpreting the text. The example of Bathsheba's story is given to illustrate this point.00:47:01 - Challenging Misconceptions about Bathsheba's Blame,The guest emphasizes that Bathsheba is not blamed in the Bible for the events that occurred with King David. The negative narratives and victim-blaming that have been perpetuated by some pastors are not supported by the plain reading of the text.00:47:56 - Recognizing Abuse in the Biblical Narrative,Although the word "abuse" may not be used in the Bible, the implications of abuse can be identified in certain narratives. The story of Bathsheba and King David serves as an example of the abuse of power and the consequences that follow.00:49:04 - Finding Healing and Hope in Sharing Abuse Stories,The guest shares her personal experience of sharing her story of abuse and the rejection she faced. She encourages others to find inspiration and hope in her storyIt's that thing you're most afraid of, that if you actually just are brave enough to face it and name the fear and just go forward anyway, even if you face everything you thought, somehow it catapults you into something so much bigger, and now you have this huge field to run and play in and be brave. - Lori Adams-Brown

A World of Difference
Mary DeMuth: Unleashing the Power of Writing on Healing and Empowerment After Abuse

A World of Difference

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2023 56:57


In a world of secrets and betrayal, Mary DeMuth found her voice through writing. But when she mustered the courage to share her story, she faced the unthinkable: rejection from loved ones. Now, she's on a mission to confront abuse within religious institutions, but will the church be ready to listen?This episode is sponsored by Better Health.My special guest is Mary DeMuthMary DeMuth is an accomplished writer and speaker with an extensive body of work, including almost 50 published books. Her latest release, the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge, showcases her dedication to helping others restory their lives through the power of words. In addition to her literary achievements, Mary is a survivor of childhood abuse, and her book We Too sheds light on the complex issue of abuse within faith communities. Through her writing and advocacy, Mary has become a powerful voice for change, challenging religious institutions to address and prevent abuse. Her insights and personal experiences make her a highly respected figure in the field. With a wealth of knowledge and a genuine desire to empower survivors, Mary DeMuth is a guest whose expertise and story will resonate with listeners of "A World of Difference.""I kind of am the, I don't know, the crash test dummy of authors because I've tried everything and there was no romantic story about being discovered one day. It was just a hard slog." Mary DeMuthIn this episode, you will be able to:Discover the transformative power of writing as a tool for healing and self-expression in the aftermath of abuse within religious institutions.Learn about the unique challenges survivors face in finding support and understanding within the context of religious communities and institutions.Gain insight into the historical and contextual interpretation of the Bible, helping survivors navigate its teachings with a deeper understanding and perspective.Explore the importance of differentiating between descriptive and prescriptive passages in the Bible, empowering survivors to embrace the life-affirming messages and discard the harmful ones, often used to spiritually abuse them.Find inspiration and encouragement by hearing the stories of other survivors who have found healing, support, and empowerment, sparking hope for their own journey of recovery."So it was born out of just this frustration that I believe faith communities are some of the best places to heal from trauma and abuse, or they should be. So often they've become not only perpetrators of that kind of violence, but also secondary trauma of not believing, of blaming the victim. Oddly, for me, the church for me was a very healing place. I completely acknowledge that for many people, that is not the truth and not the case." Mary DeMuthGain insight into the unique challenges survivors face. Survivors of abuse within religious settings are confronted with a unique set of challenges. The expectation of religious institutions to serve as safe havens can often lead to greater harm when they fail to provide support and understanding. As Mary highlights, these systems are often ill-equipped to handle cases of abuse, making the journey toward healing more difficult for survivors. This episode provides a crucial look at these challenges and offers guidance for overcoming them.The resources mentioned in this episode are:Pause the podcast and listen at a time when there are no children around.Take care of yourself and pause the episode if you have experienced abuse or if you're having trouble processing your emotions.Visit www.BetterHelp.com/difference to get 10% off your first month of therapy.Sign up for a therapist on BetterHelp.com and get started on your healing journey.Check out Mary DeMuth's website at MaryDemuth.com for her literary work.Listen to Mary DeMuth's daily Prayer podcast with 4.5 million downloads, called Pray Everyday Show.Visit MaryDemuth.com/art for cards, prints, and other artsy fun.Explore Mary DeMuth's literary agency at MaryDemuthLiterary.com.Write and don't worry about perfection. Just get your words down on the page.Read Mary DeMuth's book We Too about the experience of being a survivor of abuse in a church faith-based space.Check out Mary DeMuth's newly released book, the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge.Join her reading challenge: MaryDeMuth.com/BibleLearn more about the impact of spiritual, emotional, and psychological abuse in Mary DeMuth's writing and speaking at the Restore conference in Chicago Oct 12-14, where she and host Lori Adams-Brown will both be speaking. Register here: https://julieroys.com/restore-2023/Follow Mary at:Instagram,Threads,&Twitter:@MaryDeMuthFacebook:AuthorMaryDeMuth/Groups/90DaysBibleFollow A World of Difference at:https://www.twitter.com/@awodpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@aworldofdifferencehttps://www.instagram.com/aworldof.difference/https://www.linkedin.com/company/aworldofdifference/https://www.facebook.com/A-World-of-Difference-613933132591673/https://www.aworldofdifferencepodcast.comThe key moments in this episode are:00:00:00 - Introduction,00:05:00 - Becoming a Writer,00:09:37 - We Too,00:11:32 - Healing in the Church,00:13:30 - Impact and Takeaways,00:15:46 - The Cost of Silence,00:17:32 - Writing for Healing,00:19:17 - Facing Fear and Finding Strength,00:21:15 - Speaking Out and Facing Backlash,00:25:51 - The Burden of Fixing a Broken System,00:30:56 - The Difficulty of Leaving an Abusive Church,00:34:15 - God and Abusive Systems,00:35:53 - Lack of Trauma Awareness in Religious Contexts,00:37:01 - The Long Journey of Healing,00:39:08 - Gaining a New Perspective through Overseas Experience,00:45:51 - Recognizing the Importance of Context and Genre in Bible Reading,00:46:18 - Descriptive vs Prescriptive in Biblical Interpretation,00:47:01 - Challenging Misconceptions about Bathsheba's Blame,00:47:56 - Recognizing Abuse in the Biblical Narrative,00:49:04 - Finding Healing and Hope in Sharing Abuse Stories,The cost of silence is born in our bodies and our souls, our brains, and it comes out, it spills out like hot tea that's overflowing and it's not something you can really keep a lid on. - Lori Adams-BrownTimestamped summary of this episode:00:00:00 - Introduction,The episode deals with heavy topics such as abuse and listener discretion is advised. The host introduces the guest, Mary DeMuth, who is a literary agent, speaker, and author of nearly 50 books. They discuss writing and the journey of becoming a writer.00:05:00 - Becoming a Writer,Mary shares her journey of becoming a writer and offers advice to aspiring writers. She emphasizes the importance of just starting and giving oneself permission to write poorly at first. She also highlights the accessibility of publishing in today's digital age.00:09:37 - We Too,Mary explains that she was inspired to write "We Too" due to brokenness and pain within religious institutions. She believes that faith communities should be safe havens for healing, but often perpetrate abuse or contribute to secondary trauma. Mary shares her own positive experience with church as a healing place.00:11:32 - Healing in the Church,The host shares her recent experience at a church panel on abuse and healing. She mentions survivors who found healing within the church, despite their abusive experiences outside of it. They discuss the importance of creating safe spaces within religious institutions for survivors of trauma and abuse.00:13:30 - Impact and Takeaways,"We Too" has made a significant impact within the community, addressing the issue of abuse in religious contexts. Mary hopes readers will understand the need for churches to become safe havens and to prevent and heal from abuse. The conversation ends00:15:46 - The Cost of Silence,Mary discusses the impact of silence on our bodies and souls and emphasizes the importance of finding a way to share our stories, even if it's through writing. Writing can help process trauma and uncover deeper layers of healing.00:17:32 - Writing for Healing,Mary and the host discuss the power of writing in processing trauma and sharing one's story. Writing allows for a different level of reflection and can lead to unexpected insights and healing.00:19:17 - Facing Fear and Finding Strength,Mary shares her experience of writing a chapter about her abuse and confronting her fears of being disbelieved and rejected by her parents. Despite her fears coming true, she finds strength in standing up for herself and continues to write her story.00:21:15 - Speaking Out and Facing Backlash,The host shares her own experience of speaking out and facing backlash within the church. She discusses the fear of being slandered and the importance of speaking up for survivors of abuse. Mary reflects on her role in the Southern Baptist Convention and the challenges of trying to change a system.00:25:51 - The Burden of Fixing a Broken System,Mary talks about the difficulties of trying to change a broken system and the toll it takes on survivors. She emphasizes the need for healing and providing safe spaces for survivors, rather than expecting them to fix a broken system.00:30:56 - The Difficulty of Leaving an Abusive Church,Mary shares her experience of being in an abusive situation and the internal struggle she faced when deciding whether to stay or leave. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing when one has tried multiple times to repair a broken system but faced resistance each time, indicating that it may be time to leave.00:34:15 - God and Abusive Systems,Mary discusses the misconception that God wants individuals to stay in abusive systems. She highlights the importance of questioning leaders and systems and how the inability to question or challenge authority is a sign of a toxic and abusive situation. She encourages individuals to prioritize their well-being and safety.00:35:53 - Lack of Trauma Awareness in Religious Contexts,Mary points out that many religious systems are not trauma-informed, which can make it challenging for survivors of sexual abuse to find healing and support within a religious context. She highlights the need for more training in churches to address and understand trauma.00:37:01 - The Long Journey of Healing,Mary emphasizes that healing from trauma takes time and cannot be rushed. She shares her personal experience of assuming she had healed after being prayed for but later realizing that trauma can resurface in different stages of life. She encourages survivors to be patient with themselves.00:39:08 - Gaining a New Perspective through Overseas Experience,Mary reflects on her time spent overseas in France and how it shifted her perspective on Christian communities and the interpretation of scripture. She learned to00:45:51 - Recognizing the Importance of Context and Genre in Bible Reading,The Bible is a collection of ancient scriptures written by different people over many years. It is important to recognize the ancient context and different genres of the text when reading it. The guest believes that the Bible has something to say to us today.00:46:18 - Descriptive vs Prescriptive in Biblical Interpretation,Not everything in the Bible is prescriptive, some parts are descriptive. It is crucial to understand the difference between these two approaches when interpreting the text. The example of Bathsheba's story is given to illustrate this point.00:47:01 - Challenging Misconceptions about Bathsheba's Blame,The guest emphasizes that Bathsheba is not blamed in the Bible for the events that occurred with King David. The negative narratives and victim-blaming that have been perpetuated by some pastors are not supported by the plain reading of the text.00:47:56 - Recognizing Abuse in the Biblical Narrative,Although the word "abuse" may not be used in the Bible, the implications of abuse can be identified in certain narratives. The story of Bathsheba and King David serves as an example of the abuse of power and the consequences that follow.00:49:04 - Finding Healing and Hope in Sharing Abuse Stories,The guest shares her personal experience of sharing her story of abuse and the rejection she faced. She encourages others to find inspiration and hope in her storyIt's that thing you're most afraid of, that if you actually just are brave enough to face it and name the fear and just go forward anyway, even if you face everything you thought, somehow it catapults you into something so much bigger, and now you have this huge field to run and play in and be brave. - Lori Adams-Brown

The Roys Report
Affair or Abuse? The Church’s Hurtful Response

The Roys Report

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2023 57:50


Guest Bios Show Transcript Victims of adult clergy sexual abuse often report that their first wound—the abuse itself—was awful. But it wasn't as bad as the second wound: the response by the church to their abuse.  This is precisely what Moriah Smothers and her husband, Jack, describe in a follow-up conversation to our initial podcast interview about the alleged abuse Moriah received at the hands of her former pastor, Patrick Garcia. In this podcast, Moriah tells of the shame and rejection she experienced from other church members when her abuse was mislabeled an “affair.” Some called her “Judas.” Others told her the devil had got the upper hand. The backlash left both Moriah and Jack devastated and confused.  Yet after a year of extreme pain and brokenness, Moriah heard an earlier edition of The Roys Report podcast with another victim of adult clergy sexual abuse. She said it led her to an epiphany and significant healing.  It also prompted Jack and Moriah to confront leaders at their former church—The Hills Church in Evansville, Ind.—for how they handled Moriah's abuse. The couple also reached out to Bob Russell, pastor emeritus of one of the largest churches in America, who is currently re-platforming Patrick Garcia.   You'll hear how Russell and the Hills Church responded. And you'll hear Moriah and Jack's impassioned plea for the church and other Christian institutions to start dealing with clergy sexual abuse in an appropriate way. Guests Dr. Moriah Smothers Dr. Moriah Smothers is an Associate Professor of Teacher Education and a former elementary special education teacher. She is also a survivor of adult clergy sexual abuse (ACSA). Dr. Jack Smothers is a Professor of Management and a secondary survivor. Their heart is to help other ACSA survivors find healing and community. They are passionate about educating church leaders to identify, prevent and respond to ACSA. They have two children and have been married for 15 years. You can connect with them at jackandmoriahsmothers@gmail.com. Moriah has also been affiliated with Restored Voices Collective, a nonprofit group that seeks to break the silence around ACSA. Show Transcript SPEAKERS JULIE ROYS, MORIAH SMOTHERS, JACK SMOTHERS, PAUL LINGE, JIM BURGEN JULIE ROYS 00:04 In 2020, Moriah Smothers says her spiritual and sexual abuse by her pastor was suddenly exposed. Only no one recognized it as abuse. Instead, it was labeled an affair, and Moriah was ostracized by her church. Welcome to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys, and this is part two of a two part podcast with Moriah Smothers and her husband Jack Smothers. In part one, Moriah told of what she believes was grooming and abused by her former pastor Patrick Garcia. And if you haven't heard part one, I encourage you to go back and listen to that now. It's a harrowing and cautionary tale about how adult clergy sexual abuse happens. And I wish more Christians understood this phenomenon because it's a widespread problem wreaking havoc in the church. But so often it goes undetected, and the victims instead of receiving help receive condemnation, and the predators often get re platformed only to continue their predatory ways. So again, if you haven't heard part one, I encourage you to do that now.

 But in this podcast, Moriah and Jack describe what is often called the second wound. This was the response of their church to Moriah's adult clergy sexual abuse, and the shame and the rejection that Moriah experienced was absolutely devastating. But you'll also hear how after a year of extreme pain and brokenness, Moriah heard an earlier podcast that we did on The Roys Report with another victim of adult clergy sexual abuse and hearing that podcast and recognizing that it wasn't an affair, but abuse led to a ton of healing. But it also prompted Jack and Moriah to confront the leaders at their former church, Hills church in Evansville, Indiana, for how they handled Maria's abuse. The couple also reached out to Bob Russell, Pastor Emeritus of one of the largest churches in America, who is currently re-platforming Patrick Garcia. You'll hear Bob Russell and the Hills church responded, and you'll hear Moriah and Jack's impassioned plea that the church and other Christian institutions start dealing with adult clergy sexual abuse in an appropriate way. So, I'm very excited to share this podcast with you. But first, I'd like to thank our sponsors, Judson University, and Marquardt of Barrington. If you're looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience, Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities, and strong financial aid. Plus, you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go to JUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you're looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity and transparency. That's because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt are men of integrity. To check them out, just go to BUYACAR123.COM. We now pick up my conversation with Moriah and Jack Smothers. They previously described how their pastor Patrick Garcia groomed Moriah and then abused his power by luring her into an emotional and sexual relationship. This was eventually discovered by Patrick's wife, who then told the church leadership. And this is where we join our discussion. So how did you feel the church responded to you, Moriah? MORIAH SMOTHERS 03:49 I don't want to over exaggerate this and I can share details. The abuse from my pastor was horrible. The way the church responded was 10 times more traumatizing than the abuse. I could have recovered from the abuse in a reasonable amount of time, I feel but the literature when you read about this, it calls it the second wound. And the first is that having just that abuse experience, but then the church response was really painful. I don't think the church had any knowledge of adult clergy sexual abuse. And so we were basically told again, through zoom, I think Dave was designated to be the person that communicates with us, nobody else really did, that they were going to release a statement. This is what the statement was. We were not involved in any of the processes the information. I did again, we thought we only had a fair narrative. We had no information about ACSA. And so I did send a text message. Jack and I thought it was a good idea at the time to some of the women I was really close to and I disclosed that this situation had to do with me. In hindsight that was not a good choice because of the way I worded it but oddly, one of the things I've struggled to recover the most from, were some of the communications from my very best friends from the church. And most of them were very involved in the church as well. And so one of the ones that has just stuck with me is when your identity is eviscerated, things just have the ability to sink really deep. One of them was calling me Judas and Patrick's wife at the time was like Jesus. A lot of them wrote, you need to get help, you really let the devil win was a common one I got. I'll never trust you again was often. And I will say those that were ugly, hurt, they hit really deep. I did get a few women to respond or just like I don't understand but I'm praying for you. And very little support from within the church. I do want to say that God was really I wouldn't have been able to make this big faith statement a year ago, but I realized now God was so good. He sent I didn't know this woman, but she was local. When she heard what was happening at the Hills. She is also a survivor. And she asked for my contact information from a mutual acquaintance. And she immediately got in contact with me and has mentored me, she didn't know about abuse either. But she and her husband made it and were thriving. But it was another abuse situation locally and just was such a good mentor to me. So, inside the church, the response was not supportive. It was not understanding. We were ostracized, basically. Even people we love dearly the extent of support was basically like, go get marriage counseling, and so not supportive. Outside the church, nobody we met understood ACSA. So I'm not saying that we still never got the language. But there were some people that were able to love on us. Our next-door neighbors, were just Jesus to us. This fellow survivor, my parents came around us very quickly. And so we did have some support that we you know, a lot of people don't have, so I want to acknowledge that. JULIE ROYS 07:04 Wow. Jack during this time, you and Moriah's parents met with Dave Bowersox and Daryl Maron. As I'm understanding that was a pretty tough meeting. Would you describe what happened in that meeting? JACK SMOTHERS 07:22 It was intense. But so Moriah's parents are wonderful, amazing Christians, they have invested a lot into Moriah and I, and we trust them, we love them. And so we felt that it would be good to take them along. And I'm glad that they went. They've done a lot of counseling in their life. And so they took resources, books, a variety of different resources to help Dave and Daryl in the Hills guard against situations like this occurring again. So they gave them those resources. And we talked through the situation, they shared some of the information that they had, such as you know, I was not aware at that point in time, of the May encounter that had happened at the zoo and police report. And since I was not allowed to come to that meeting with Moriah, I didn't have that information. MORIAH SMOTHERS 08:22 There's was an investigation. JACK SMOTHERS 08:23 There was an investigation. They hired an investigator to look into Patrick's devices to see if they could uncover anything. And I guess that went on throughout the summer. And when that didn't come up with anything that he was re platformed later on in that fall. JULIE ROYS 08:41 Help me understand this. And maybe I misheard you, you're saying there was an investigation, they looked at all the devices, and then they re platformed Patrick? JACK SMOTHERS 08:52 Yeah, The investigation came up with nothing, they did not find any communication. Their suspicion of communication. But they didn't find anything between Patrick and so this was after just to clarify, this was after the May event. JULIE ROYS 09:08 Got you. So in between the two? JACK SMOTHERS 09:10 There was that investigation that didn't come up with anything. When everything finally did come out, and what was that? September? October? That's when the meeting happened with Moriah's parents and myself and the pastors. JULIE ROYS 09:25 And is it true that Dave Bowersox confessed during that meeting that he was aware that Patrick had an attraction to Moriah? JACK SMOTHERS 09:34 That is true. So Dave's advice to Patrick was just get a handle on it, get it under control and resolve your old feelings, essentially. They felt like Patrick may have targeted Moriah, but they said that they felt like Moriah was complicit in that situation. Of course, they didn't understand at the time the ACSA framework and that complicity would not be possible in that situation. So it was high drama. JULIE ROYS 10:03 Stunning to me that seminaries don't teach this. It's against the law. I wish it was in more states, but in certain states, it is against the law for a pastor to have a relationship like this with a congregant. It seems like we're, maybe we're just on the cusp of becoming awake to this. But even as I have interviewed pastors, and say, hypothetically, do you think it would necessarily be abuse if a pastor has a relationship with a married congregant? And there'll be like, we don't know what the role of the woman was. Like, I don't even understand the basics of exactly what you said, Jack, that when there's a power differential, someone cannot give consent, when there's that kind of power. But it's just stunning to me complete and utter ignorance. And it's inexcusable. Every pastor should be aware of this. The same way that you have to go through training with Title XI, if you work for a university, pastors need to go through this kind of training, if they're going to serve in the pastorate and so do all the elders and the people who are holding them accountable. But it is just not happening. And it's really unbelievably frustrating. MORIAH SMOTHERS 11:19 Yeah. And really, that's the heart of why we're talking to you, is that you're right. It's illegal in 14 states right now. Understanding adult clergy sexual abuse is a job requisite skill at this point. 20 years ago, maybe not knowing maybe I can get it. There's so much literature now and fantastic researchers that this has been discussed too widely to claim ignorance at this point. And so I completely agree with you. There should be no ignorance of this issue. JULIE ROYS 11:50 In the wake of what happened is my understanding that Hills church actually paid for counseling for Patrick, is that right? JACK SMOTHERS 11:57 That's what they told us. JULIE ROYS 11:59 Okay, did they pay for counseling for you? JACK SMOTHERS 12:02 They did not. JULIE ROYS 12:03 Help me understand that? Did they give any kind of explanation for that? JACK SMOTHERS 12:08 No, we didn't ask them to pay for anything. MORIAH SMOTHERS 12:11 I chose a counselor because my survivor friend had also seen this woman. And again, she didn't know she was actually a survivor at the time. And so she was affiliated with a church that the Hills did not want us to receive counseling from. And so they actually discouraged me from seeing a counselor. They wanted us to see a counselor that was also I believe, seeing Patrick and his wife at the time. And so I was uncomfortable seeing a counselor that they recommended, which they didn't offer to pay for anything either way. But again, Julie, our supportive statement was go get marriage counseling. As if our marriage was broken, not that I was targeted and groomed and abused, confusing. JULIE ROYS 12:55 And the statement that was given at the time called it an inappropriate relationship, correct? Patrick did say that it was his fault, and no one but him. His fault, yet seems like some mixed messages in what was being said. MORIAH SMOTHERS 13:10 And there was no disclosure, I was a congregant. And I think that while there was no overtly blaming me in this situation there, I felt like the context of the sermon was, frankly tacky. It was preaching from the woman caught in adultery. And it was from the lens of a let's not throw the first stone but as a broken woman, I listened to it. That was all I heard is the adultery piece. They had all the advisory boards stand up front, and you could just see their disgust on their face. It was a group I should have been part of. Because if anybody had known I was missing, that would have been very a clear signal if they had known. It really has always bothered me, they never disclosed I was a congregant. I think that was very intentional. Actually, Dave Bowersox had apologized. He said, I'm so sorry you all are having to go through with this. And Jack, I think he said something like, I'm sure there's not a script for it. And they've said, Oh, no, there actually is. So they received counsel from somewhere about how to handle these situations. JULIE ROYS 14:13 They didn't make you were a big Scarlet A, at least. I guess we've progressed a little bit. But unbelievable. Yeah, what you went through and I'm so sorry. That just sounds absolutely traumatizing. For a year while you're in biblical counseling, you're believing the narrative. How did you internalize what you had done and the consequence? MORIAH SMOTHERS 14:40 Yeah. Oh, man, that's complicated. Julie, honestly, a lot of pieces did not make sense. But I was so desperate to keep my family together. I was willing to take responsibility for anything and everything. And so that's what I did for a season is I did a lot of work with my biblical counselor to figure out what was wrong with me. Like how had I sinned, how had I fallen, I will own it, I will repent for everything under the sun. Because I wanted to be well and whole. I didn't understand how this happened because I didn't want to have an affair. To be honest, I'm not even attracted to Patrick. I had no clue how this happened. But all we had was a fair framework. My mom tried to be really sweet and helpful gave me like a fair recovery books and things. And I started to read them. And I was like, this isn't me, this isn't I'm not represented in this. And so I will say the counselor I saw, knew nothing about abuse and trauma for this situation. She did some good soul care kind of things with me. But yeah, we were just trying to keep it together with the fair. JULIE ROYS 15:47 Wow. That's a very humble response, and so often we don't see those. You can only do what you know. But when you know, then you're responsible. And that's super, super important. It seems like you did have an epiphany. And it was on a podcast that we published, which, when I hear things like that it's so heartening. We work in the trenches a lot from day to day. And it's not the easiest work. But things like that, to hear stories of how it has impact is, it can give you some fuel for a decent amount of time. So I'll just say that it just is really encouraging. MORIAH SMOTHERS 15:47 He won't say this, but my biggest source of healing was Jack. That sweet man, we walked together a lot. That's where we bond as we walk. And so like we were walking every day for miles and miles. And he was my counselor at that time. And how deeply unfair for him to have been traumatized the way he was, and yet he was supporting me. I wanted basically nothing to do with faith at that point. And I've loved Jesus my whole life basically, that I thought, How can God cannot be good if my pastor treated me this way. Which I could have gotten over that, but I thought, There's no way the church is good or right, if it's been covered up by other pastors. So I was relying on Jack's faith. And Jack never asked me to leave. And again, we thought affair, never asked me to leave. He never yelled at me. There was a moment that it's still it's really hard to talk about. It was very soon after all of this had come out. And again, I was following him around the house because I was dazed and confused what had happened. He stopped in the doorway, and our kids were sitting there watching. And he said, I just feel so much compassion for you. And that was the first time he hugged me since it all came out. And I don't usually cry. I'm not a crier. I sobbed and sobbed in the hallway. And it was like, from that moment, I knew we were going to be okay. But it was hard. It was a hard road. And I did get some bad advice spiritually. The counselor told me that God had probably planned this for me, maybe for Patrick Garcia to get out of ministry. And I thought, man, if that's what God plans for the children he loves, I don't want to follow that God anymore. So that was a rough road. I will say for that counselor, Jack and I once we did realize what had happened, that it was abuse, we went back to her, presnted that. She graciously received that she apologized to us for not knowing. And so I have a lot of respect for her for that reason. And I'm excited for the work she's going to do in the future with this new knowledge. JULIE ROYS 17:49 But you heard a podcast, I guess it was November 2021, that I recorded with Katie Roberts, a beautiful, wonderful person that has become a friend, because I've been able to share her story with a lot of you. And so courageously she walked through what was incredibly difficult, and she took incredible hits from people criticizing her. It is just so indicative of the misogyny in our culture, that we just have such a difficult time wrapping our heads around the fact that women are not the temptress or that we cannot acknowledge that this is abuse. But Katie, beautifully did, and you heard that podcast when she talked about her own grooming, and abuse. Talk about what that was like to hear that and for the light bulb to go on. MORIAH SMOTHERS 19:23 That was an epiphany and that's exactly what it was. I'd been listening to your podcast for a while because I didn't have the words but I felt like something was mishandled here. It just, what happened in the church, it didn't sit right. Like I knew it didn't feel like justice somehow but I didn't know why. And I've been listening to you for a while Katie came on. And I remember almost feeling a little shaky and scared because I felt like she's telling my story. Like how could she possibly know what happened to me? And how has it happened to her? And this was way before I knew that there's so many similarities between these grooming and abuse stories with clergy. And I listened to the whole thing, I sent it to everybody in our support network, which let's be honest, that actually wasn't very many people at the time. But anybody that knew our story and would listen, I sent them the podcast. And I was like, how can this be? The language she used to explain like the grooming and the trauma bonding, the love bombing. She used the language that I had been describing, but didn't have the right word for it. And so it was such a weird thing. But I remember feeling I have to know more about this. And so I looked up Katie's email, and I emailed her and I said, I don't know if this makes any sense or not. But this is my story. And I shared it all. And she responded, and we ended up hopping on a phone call or zoom, I don't remember. But her first words to me, I actually wrote them down to share at the end of this podcast, because there was so much compassion when she heard my story. And she said, I'm so sorry how you've been mistreated. And from someone outside of my circle, but didn't have to love me and hear my story, that was such a powerful moment, because she got it. And while we were talking, she kept saying I understand, and that makes sense. And I thought, I didn't even understand all of this, and she did. And that's another part of the reason we're talking to you is that we found truth and understanding and freedom through Katie's story, which I know was a grueling experience for her. And I thought if the Lord is going to bring this opportunity full circle, where I learned through Katie, if someone can hear our story, and hear the tragedy, but also the hope, then we can't pass that up. JULIE ROYS 21:53 I love that. And I have found that nobody can minister to a survivor like another survivor. MORIAH SMOTHERS 22:03 I've learned the most through that community, there's a support group community that Katie and a few others founded. It's called Restored Voices Collective, and the learning, the growth, the empathy that happens in there, it could not be replicated, and it's only other survivors. So we're just supporting each other, we're not trying to overly educate or correct, it's just living life together in the aftermath of deep brokenness. JULIE ROYS 22:33 And I think that's what I've heard and what I've experienced, what I've seen. The Restore Conference that we've done, you know, a couple of those. And I remember the first one, I thought, oh, we should have prayer ministers, you know, to make sure because really, I mean, the whole vision was just to gather people that were literally strewn along the highway. I mean, that's just how it seems when you report these stories, and the church isn't caring for them, the church harmed them. And so they have nowhere to go and to see them come together. And I realize the prayer ministers are here, they're each other, right? It's the person who's sitting down right beside you, who you don't have to explain hardly anything because they get it. And it really is. And I know the survivor community is not perfect. And sometimes there can be some really painful things that happen within it. But I would say 90-95% of the people in there are just some of the most compassionate, good people because their character has been refined by fire. MORIAH SMOTHERS 23:39 And I attended your last Restore conference, and I got to meet a lot of the women I'd only known online up until that point, through zoom meetings, and one of the things that struck me is that personally, they're very normal, seeming. It's like when you feel so broken and devastated. Which is strange to me, like these very regular moms and women, but what I also know about them is they are warriors, they are so strong and so capable and intelligent. And that was an amazing experience just to see like my supporters in person. And that was amazing. Thank you for putting on those conferences, because I got to meet my people in person because of that. JULIE ROYS 24:20 It's a pleasure to do it really is and it's an honor. And we have another one coming up. So October 13 and 14th. If you're interested in that, I hope if you're listening you can because honestly, being with those people and experiencing what God does there, is probably one of the favorite things that I've ever done in my life. I absolutely love it. So it's RESTORE2023.COM if you want more information on that. So talk about the difference and you've already touched on it but the healing journey for you and Jack having this new perspective that this was not an affair that this was abuse, that you are a victim, that you're a survivor walking through this, what difference did that make emotionally and relationally, but also spiritually? MORIAH SMOTHERS 25:16 Oh, that's a big question. So I will say, for me the language made all the difference. Because earlier in the podcast you mentioned, I wrote that I felt like an addict. Now, knowing that description while being true is describing trauma bonding, that was really powerful. And I think because I'm a teacher person, like, language has been so healing for me. And it's given me search terms, basically, to read about what does this mean. So that's been a huge part of my healing. And then also being able to teach other people in my life about this is what this means this is how this happens. And just having the right words to study has been very healing. Also, I would say, understanding ACSA was healing in and of itself, because there's so many pieces of who I am, who Jack was, our life didn't just didn't fit affair. And so it felt very insufficient. And we did not have answers. Once we had this framework and understood how this happens, I started talking to other survivors, hearing similarities and stories. It's a really sad club to be part of. But then you have your other people to compare notes with. And so you have options and choices again, that I never had before. And so again, we were happy healing in private with that, but that made a big difference. My faith was a battle though. I think, intellectually, and emotionally, Jack was so stable for me and such a good listener, he helped me heal up in that way. My faith was a big, I still struggle with that, if I'm being completely honest. I was really ready to walk away for a while thinking that there's no goodness in church, I don't see how God can be good if these are the people that are leading a church. And so I got to a place in my faith that I realized that, so our kids committed their life to Jesus as well before, while I was really still struggling, which was such a beautiful thing. So I really felt like to be a good wife and mom, I've got to figure out this faith thing. Because I was willing at that point, I'll follow Jack wherever he goes. So if I have to attend church and just be mentally elsewhere, I will. But I knew I've got to figure out what this is. So I mentally went through like the major religions. And I was like, I don't see myself becoming a Buddhist and like really going through, like, where am I going to land because I'm a faithful person, I always have been, I knew I needed a religion, or faith. And so I thought, gosh, well probably like my best option is just really going with some kind of new age thing. But I would be a horrible God to myself. And so I felt like that's not on the table. And so I thought, Okay, I've got to figure out what do I really believe about Jesus? Because Jack has been being Jesus to me. And I don't mean that in a weird way, just like modeling the goodness of God, like I was holding on to his faith. And for the first year, again, only affair framework, I was able to read the Psalms, which was fine, like that was good, it was a start. But then when I realized I've got to make my mind up about what I think about Jesus, I started reading the gospels again. And that was a moment for me that I realized, I absolutely love the person of Jesus Christ, and that our hearts were so much in alignment about, he rarely called out anyone in sin or the vulnerable. He called out religious leaders for the way they were hurting vulnerable populations. And so that was a turning point for me is that, first of all, Jack modeled faith to me. He modeled the love of Jesus, which kept me hanging on by a thread. And then once I could finally reengage with the Word of God, I just focused on the person of Jesus. And I was able to fall back in love with him and really have some deeper roots again. I say now, and I completely mean this. The only people in my life I really trust are Jack and Jesus. JULIE ROYS 29:08 Wow. I love the honesty and the vulnerability. And I don't know anyone who has walked through church hurt, or certainly adult clergy sexual abuse- that's just brutal – who hasn't struggled in their faith in their walk with the Lord. I just spent the weekend with a survivor and, boy, they were raw, and they were honest, and I've been through it too. So. MORIAH SMOTHERS 29:40 And we're really healed up in a lot of ways. But I mean, we're almost three years out, but church is hard still. We've just moved. We're looking for a new church home. It's hard. And there's a lot of triggers and red flags and it's just even when you're in a good place and you really love the people. It's just hard. JULIE ROYS 29:56 It is, but I will say one thing, my teachers, Katie has been a teacher. Lori Anne Thompson has been a teacher. And they've been gracious with me like when I've written something and I used a wrong word or a wrong term, and they won't mince words. They'll reach out to me, but they're gracious when I'm like, Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not. Yep. Okay. Help me understand. MORIAH SMOTHERS 30:22 That's survivor community, they are loving but they are fierce and I love that about them. JULIE ROYS 30:27 Yes, they are. But I think it's so important to process what's happened. And I know just my own church hurt, experience, being able to process with people that you're not going to rack them, if you just say exactly how you're feeling in the moment. And that's just super, super important. Let's turn to holding the church accountable, because after this happened after you became enlightened about what had actually happened to you, you reached out to the Hills leadership, and you wrote them a letter, you've given me a copy of that letter. I think it's so good. I would love for you to just read it because my understanding is you sent this letter, so far, you haven't gotten a response. MORIAH SMOTHERS 31:17 No, I think it was confirmed it was received. Actually, the first letter I sent Jack was really kind. Again, I know we've been harsh about the church we came from, the Hills. We love a lot of the people there. I think there's some good things happening there. Out of respect, Jack met with Dave Bowersox to let them know this letter is coming. But besides that, you did get a response after this letter, though. Didn't he call you? JACK SMOTHERS 31:42 He did respond. I don't know if it was a call or an email. But he did respond. MORIAH SMOTHERS 31:45 And I think it was basically like we mishandled the situation was the response. I wrote this letter in fall 2021. So that was right after learning about adult clergy sexual abuse. So I will say I've learned a lot more since then. There are a few pieces of it that knowing what I know now, I would reword differently. But this is right where I was at having learned it, so I'll read it for what it is. My Hills church leadership. For most of the past year, Jack and I have been trying to navigate our way through this situation, with the framework and language that surrounds an affair or inappropriate relationship, which implies there was full consent from both people. While many of my choices were sinful and I egregiously sinned against God and Jack, it did not account for many of the experiences represented within the reading and counseling in which we engaged. I voraciously sought material to gain an understanding of what happened with the hopes that knowledge would alleviate my confusion and brokenness. In doing so I recently discovered the concept of adult clergy sexual abuse, ACSA, and for the first time I understood what had occurred. With this new knowledge, I felt compelled that we as the church need to grow in this area. Upon reflection, Jack, and I believe there are two logical explanations for the way that Hills leadership handled the situation, which include either ignorance or intentional misrepresentation. From an assumption of ignorance, if you had been aware of power dynamics requirements for consent, the cycle of ACSA abuse, how targets are chosen by predators and the grooming process, then this situation would have been conveyed to the congregation differently. The alternate explanation is that you received legal/peer counsel to minimize the liability of the church by intentionally misrepresenting clergy abuse as an inappropriate relationship. Regardless of the explanation of what happened in the past, there is much work to be done going forward to minister to those who have been hurt within the church. Therefore, I am writing to you with the hope that you as an institution will be able to grow and change as I have been growing and changing in my understanding and the implications of this critical issue. I hope you have read and shared my side of the story with the church leadership, elders, pastors and advisory council, which was given to you in fall 2020. However, if you have not, I suggest you review it so you have an anecdotal understanding of ACSA in this specific situation. Given my new understanding of power differentials and how they apply to pastors and congregants, I fully believe I was exploited by Patrick Garcia, and it was erroneous and misleading for the church leadership to convey it as an inappropriate relationship, which conveys consent. The predatory nature of the lead pastor was not communicated to the congregation, which is of great concern to me because it minimizes the impact of abuse within the church. I've included several resources on ACSA and I pray that you will educate yourselves and your leadership teams on the nuances of this type of abuse, how to effectively prevent it and how to handle it with integrity and transparency if it does occur. The reason that I am writing to you is threefold. One, I ask that you reach out to other potential victims and provide them with the support and resources to understand misconduct, grooming and abuse by spiritual/pastoral leader. As you are likely not aware of all the victims who have been adversely impacted by pastoral misconduct in the church you lead, an open invitation to all congregants is likely needed. Please connect them with a female counselor that is well versed in adult clergy sexual abuse and misconduct. The wounds from this are complex and deep. So I implore you to seek out your hurting sheep and care for them. Two, I ask that you share my story and ACSA resources with anyone in the church that you consider a leader. In my opinion, this means the elder board, pastoral staff and advisory board at a minimum. It is the church leadership's responsibility to shepherd their flock with care and dignity. Choosing to not educate yourselves when a wolf has wreaked havoc on your congregation is not living up to the call our Lord has placed on your role. Number three, I ask that you inform the perpetrator and people from whom you received counsel, that this was not simply an inappropriate relationship, that it falls under the criteria of adult clergy sexual abuse. By doing this, I hope you will clearly communicate that God's church is a place that abuse in any forum is not tolerated, because your primary goal is to protect the people under your care. I then provide some working definitions of clergy sexual misconduct, clergy sexual abuse and abuse of power. And then there were hyperlinked resources at the bottom. JULIE ROYS 32:41 So you asked for three things. Of those three things that you asked for, have you gotten any of them? MORIAH SMOTHERS 35:40 If any of those things have been done, they have not been communicated to us. JULIE ROYS 36:39 Okay. And, Jack, you had a conversation with Dave Bowersox after he received this letter? What did he say? JACK SMOTHERS 36:50 They were still processing what their response was going to be. And so he did thank me for meeting with him before we sent the letter to give him a heads up about what our intention was in sending the letter. But that was the extent of the response that we received. JULIE ROYS 37:06 And then you send a follow up letter to a couple months later, still nothing. MORIAH SMOTHERS 37:10 No. I reminded them of the request, and I sent the follow up, not to just be hounding them, but it was when everything had come out in a bigger way with the SBC. And so I thought surely this will get their attention that they'll realize how serious this is because the SBC even came out and said that if a pastor is in a relationship with a congregant, it's abuse, and that's a disqualifying sin. And so I thought having this outside entity that is that powerful, repent, hopefully, that should speak volumes to them. I received confirmation it was received, but I have not heard word if anything was actually done. JULIE ROYS 37:50 Right. And when this is called an affair and not abuse, it does open the door for the person to reoffend, and to continue doing this. And there may be others who have similarly been groomed by Patrick. MORIAH SMOTHERS 38:07 I've been told very specific information about those situations, which makes me think it's credible, but I have not had interaction or communication with any women that would say that. But again, they probably wouldn't even know it was grooming. JULIE ROYS 38:21 So now, almost three years have passed since Patrick resigned from the Hills. When he did so he said he was going to undergo a quote, season of restoration so that the root of my brokenness and dysfunction can be addressed. Christian Post just published this article in June in which Patrick says he's repented. He said, he's gotten to the root of his pride. He's preaching again. Do you believe Patrick Garcia is repentant? And why or why not? JACK SMOTHERS 38:53 I'll give my thoughts on that. Not to dodge the question, but I don't believe it matters whether or not he is repentant. I believe that an abuser is disqualified from ministry regardless of whether or not they repent. I hope that he has restored his relationship with God. I hope that all abusers come to an understanding of the pain that they have inflicted and are genuinely sorry and repent from that sin. But that does not mean they are then qualified to stay in that profession. They can go get any other job anywhere in the world, but not that one. MORIAH SMOTHERS 39:35 Actually, one of the things I feel strongly about is that I hope he's repentant. I hope everyone repents, but that does not mean there's leadership roles out there for them. I think actually, repentance means not seeking out leadership, because that's where this pain occurred. Like clearly that's a temptation that's a difficult area. Restore your relationship with God and be involved in a healthy body, church body. But I don't think that means leadership. And that's where I'm seeing my biggest concerns are about the church right now is that repentance equates to re-platforming. And I don't think that's what that means. JULIE ROYS 40:13 And when trust is betrayed, trust has to be earned back. And honestly, I said this not too long ago, but some of these guys don't have enough time in their life to earn back the trust that they've squandered and that they betrayed. But I agree with you. And I know there's going to be people who disagree. And what about David? We've talked about this so many times on podcasts, or listen to other podcasts, we've addressed this ad nauseam, but I'm just so tired of it. Above reproach is the qualification in Scripture for an elder. Are you above reproach? I have a tough time thinking that someone who has preyed on a congregant. Think about that; you're supposed to be a shepherd, and you became the wolf. How we could ever put that person back in the sheep pen again. And the amount of concern and compassion and let's pray for the predator that you hear. And the little that you hear about praying and concern and care for the victim is appalling. And I think it's very indicative of the kind of culture that we live in, which puts celebrities up on the platform. And man, if you are an order, and you you have the right stuff, boy, people just love you. But man, if you're not, and you happen to be in the way of someone getting back on that platform, it's very difficult. So I asked Jim Bergen, he's the lead pastor of Flat Irons Community Church in Colorado, and Paul Linge, who currently oversees the counseling ministry there at Crossroads, whether or not they thought that Patrick was ready to return to ministry, whether he should be replatformed. I got two very different responses. So I'd like to play both of them. First, here's how Jim Bergen responded. JIM BURGEN 42:12 Patrick absolutely messed up in a simple way with this woman. Her degree of willingness or participation. I don't know anything about she didn't call me. Patrick confessed to me, and I okay about disclose everything you know, and get on it. And even as he's starting to move back into ministry, I have a lot of texts going hey, do you think I can preach again? Do you think I can preach again? And I'm like, slow down. Because it's been, I don't think, we lose most of the New Testament and all of the Old Testament, if sexual sin disqualifies you from ministry forever. I mean, David, we lose Abraham, okay. But I don't think that when a pastor makes a mistake like this, it's a death sentence forever. But it definitely is a slow, long healing process. And that's what I cautioned him with, over and over again. JULIE ROYS 43:04 Okay, clearly, Jim Bergen doesn't share our view on this. MORIAH SMOTHERS 43:09 Really, Jim Burgen understand or know any survivors of ACSA. Just sexual sin and not the spiritual or emotional or psychological. He needs some education on that. JULIE ROYS 43:20 He does. And actually, in our conversation, I pushed back on that and asked him about spiritual abuse, about adult clergy sexual abuse, as well, and what qualifies. And it was clear to me that a lot of this was new to him. MORIAH SMOTHERS 43:35 Yeah, we've met some really, truly good men, good shepherds, pastors that we have a lot of respect for. They don't know. And I'm just floored by that. JACK SMOTHERS 43:47 But the good ones respond with a desire to learn. Yes, and that's really encouraging. Moriah has done a wonderful job of putting together training on ACSA. We've been able to deliver that to two different churches, and it's just fantastic and encouraging and edifying to see the godly people who get it and they want to improve they want to protect their congregation and guard against wolf-like behavior. JULIE ROYS 44:16 As I said, I also asked Paul Linge about this question, and I'd like to play his response. PAUL LINGE 44:23 Christian Post article stated that he did meet with Crossroads elders as part of what I think was I don't remember if it was Southeast or Bob Russell in particular but basically trying to put him on a restoration pathway which to me was grossly inefficient. General sense was it was a box to check rather than any kind of your display of repentance. Because for him to really go on a restoration journey with the people at Crossroads and Evansville. That's not a one-time meeting. There's probably months of meeting, based on the damage that was created in our community. So that's why it feels very superficial. I personally, and just through my own contacts have not seen the necessary repentance, or else he would be spending a lot more time in Evansville, the community that he helped blow up if that were true. And so I don't, I think the article comes across as in not just to me, but to others in our communities who read it, as though he was somehow the victim, whether that was the victim of Crossroads, the victim of the Hills leadership, the victims of Savannah, and it's just not true. At some point, a person has to take ownership and responsibility that for their own choices and behavior. I think he keeps getting prodded along by some key figures, who, for whatever reason, are reticent to just tell him the truth. Maybe they are, and I just don't know it. But it just seems like he's been continued to be propped up. I don't know if it's so much of a timeline, Julie, as it is looking for mile markers along the way. Right. So looking for signs of humility, looking for signs of teachability, looking for signs of repentance, looking for signs of restitution. I wronged you, you know, I dented your car, I'm going to pay for it to make sure it gets fixed. When you see that, you know, kind of the key is anybody I have wronged, then I'll make it right. That's the type of response I think you're looking for when you're talking about character change, or even your personality change. Once you start to see that and you're like, okay, something's happening. What we're looking for is their demonstration is there not feigned or fake remorse, but genuine repentance. And that's what I would say, at least from my experience from my seat. I have not seen that in Patrick Garcia in the last five years. JULIE ROYS 47:02 I'm guessing you resonate with a lot of what Paul said. I think he's absolutely right for looking for the markers of repentance, whether or not that means you can re-platform that's another question. And there's really need to be two different questions that people need to understand; you can be restored to Christ, you can be restored to the body restored to a position, that's a totally different thing. And I think people need to just start saying you're permanently disqualified. I don't know why we just can't seem to say that in the church. And yet I think it needs to be said for abusers. Absolutely. MORIAH SMOTHERS 47:39 And, Julie, I just want to again, echo what Paul said in his clip. It's what Jack and I were saying, Actually, Jack wrote this to Leonardo Blair, who wrote the article that the level of pain and trauma that article caused from Patrick, Blair made himself as the victim clearly demonstrates no understanding of spiritual authority, power dynamics, abuse. Anyone that was mentioned in that article, he re traumatized, and Leonardo did too. So I'm going to be very blunt, I hold the Christian Post responsible for publishing that as well as Patrick Garcia. Because I think, yeah, I think I hold them all responsible. We have too much information to just publish whatever might get a few clicks at this point without considering all of the victims, not just Jack and I, but the churches, the families. JULIE ROYS 48:30 And I think reporters need to be educated, absolutely need to be educated and trauma informed and all of these things and if you're not fine, but it's no excuse at this point. Get it. MORIAH SMOTHERS 48:44 Yeah, we get it. If you're not and don't want to be, go report on the weather, don't report when they're in a space where there are victims. JULIE ROYS 48:50 Yeah, absolutely. And there is clearly, I would agree, complete dearth of understanding of what ACSA, adult clergy sexual abuse is, and it needs to be remedied. I agree. Again, Patrick has been re platformed by Adventure church. He's preached there several times. That's a church in Louisville, Kentucky. I reached out to Adventure for comment. The church did not respond. Bob Russell has also replatformed Patrick. Bob had Patrick share about his fall and restoration at Bob's mentoring retreat for pastors. This, that Patrick is up there now instructing pastors about his fall and restoration and they're learning from him how to be a pastor. How does that make you feel? JACK SMOTHERS 49:41 That is absolutely ridiculous. You can't have someone who is an abuser trying to instruct people on how not to abuse. I don't understand really the line of thought and why you would want to put him into that scenario given his background. I think honestly I would just say my concern is, why is there so much focus on helping these pastors who have abused other people, instead of focus on how do we help the abused? How do we help the victims of the people who we have, are partially responsible for their victimization? That's really where the focus should be is how do we care for the vulnerable? because that's exactly what Jesus did. That's who he ministered to. And that's who he loves. So that's, we just have a mis alignment, a missed focus on on what we really talk about in churches. JULIE ROYS 50:37 And I'm guessing Bob Russell has met with Patrick, and continues to mentor him and yet, you guys reached out through Dave Road up, who I understand is someone who has relationship, he's in Christian leadership has a relationship with Bob Russell. He wouldn't meet with you. He would not meet with you. MORIAH SMOTHERS 50:58 Yeah. Paul Linge was the connection. We met with him and several other Crossroads leaders and shared our story shared educational material. They held space for us and held our story with so much goodness. That was very restorative. I struggle with pastors in general, getting to meet with Paul Linge helped restore some of that faith in that role. So the connection between us and Bob Russell is very removed, we don't know him. But we told Paul, if Bob Russell's willing to hear our story, we're willing to share it. And so there was also David Roadcup was involved there. David Roadcup knows our story as well. He shared it with Bob Russell what he could and said, Are you willing to meet with this couple, because they have concerns that Patrick Garcia is preaching again. And his comment was that if there was not sexual intercourse, I will not meet with them. That was what we were told. And so I guess anything, pastors are allowed to do anything, and be preaching and be re-platformed, besides have sexual intercourse with someone who's not their wife, is the message there. JULIE ROYS 52:01 Well, and again, we didn't hear that directly from Bob's mouth. But I have reached out to Bob, to try to get comment to try to clarify to give him opportunity. And he has not responded. If he'd like to, I'm still here, and he can do it. And I'll report what he says. Or if he'd like to apologize, he can do that, too. But just would like to hear from him, it would be really nice. Last question. And thank you so much. I know this is so hard, and can be re traumatizing. And it's difficult. And I know that you only do this because you care about other victims, you care about the church, and its ability to care for others and so this doesn't happen and keep happening to people. And so that Patrick doesn't get platformed and is able to prey on vulnerable people again. But I know it comes at a cost. And so I'm extraordinarily grateful to both of you. I know, just knowing the audience that we have for this podcast, that there are people listening, who have been through what you've been through, they may be in totally different levels of healing right now of understanding. But I think it's amazing how well both of you are doing three years, that may seem like a long time, it also seems a really short time, and you're doing remarkably well. Not just as human beings individually, but together in your marriage. And that's, I think, a testament to who you are as human beings and to the godliness. As you know, when you were talking about Jack and the way he's carried you through this, great husbands are a gift. And that's really beautiful to hear that. But I'm just wondering what you might say to other survivors who are listening, some of whom may just be right now white knuckling it just to hold on? MORIAH SMOTHERS 53:55 Yeah, yeah, and the survivor community is really, that's my heart. Like you said, that's why we're here. There's a line in Wade Mullins book that I've tried to anchor myself to, and I'm not going to quote it perfectly. Something's Not Right is the book that says, as part of your healing journey, you need to think about what your abuser or his supporters would want you to do and do the opposite. And so this is me reclaiming using my voice for that. And so I really thought about what would I say to other survivors, because I know where they've been at. And so I would repeat what sweet Katie Roberts said to me the first time I spoke to her in person, and is that I'm so sorry for how you've been treated. You aren't alone. There's others of us that have been where you're at. It's an absolute nightmare. But there are other people out there that get it. We're here for you. There's a group of women that would love to hear your story, and we're going to understand it because we've lived it as well. We're here to support you in that and that's Restored Voices Collective. Julie, if you can put that little link in your bio that would be great. I would encourage other survivors work really hard to find a counselor that understands trauma. Don't settle for a counselor that just loves Jesus. With what you've been through, it's not enough. They need to know trauma and abuse. If they love Jesus, that's great too Take the time to learn and study the language of what happened to you. Some of the researchers and writers that have been instrumental for me are David Pooler has been one of them. Dr. Heather Evans is another one, Mary DeMuth's book, We Too, is a really wonderful book. And I would say, take care of yourself. I know, this healing process is long and hard. You need people that can cheer you on and just sit with you in the pain. And the last thing I would say is, my faith is intact. And I hope that people that have really had a close relationship with Jesus, that have been abused, I hope you're able to find your way back to Him. But take your time; he's patient, he's willing to sit with you through all of the pain. And so when you're ready to explore faith again, or figure out what that looks like, just look to Jesus, don't look to your church leaders don't look to a denomination. Just look to Jesus for that. JULIE ROYS 56:12 That is so good. Moriah thank you. And thank you for just sharing so openly, Jack, thank you the same, again, difficult topic, but appreciate the way that you guys have walked through this with integrity. And the way that you're really reaching out to others and taking courageous stands to speak out, which is never easy. So thank you, it's just really been a blessing to get to know you. JACK SMOTHERS 56:37 Thank you. MORIAH SMOTHERS 56:38 Thank you. We appreciate the opportunity. JULIE ROYS 56:40 And thanks so much for listening to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys. And if you've appreciated this podcast, would you please consider supporting the work that we do here at The Roys Report. As I've said before, we don't have any big donors or advertising we simply have you, the people who care about telling other survivors stories, exposing wrongdoing, bringing healing and restoring the church. Also this month when you give a gift of $30 or more, we'll send you a copy of Christy Boulware's book, Nervous Breakthrough. It's such a great resource and I'm so excited to make it available to you to donate and get a copy of Nervous Breakthrough, just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. Also just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcast, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you were blessed and encouraged.   Read more

FEELS LIKE HOME Radio
FEELS LIKE HOME #385

FEELS LIKE HOME Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2023 63:49


FEELS LIKE HOME Radio – Your weekly house music by Kenn Colt Oliver Heldens , DJs From Mars – Blue Monday (feat. JD Davis) TECH IT DEEP – Maria Maria (Diplo Extended Remix)Steve Angello And Wh0 – What You Need Dzeko – Relations KAAZE – Why Goodboys – Rewind JØRD feat. Y&M – We Too […]

Narrative Church Sermons
My Favorite Bible Story - The Sending of the 72

Narrative Church Sermons

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2023


Just as Jesus Sent Out the 72, We Too are Sent Out to the Places We Live, Work, & Play. based off of Luke 10:1-12.

See generally
Vol. 171 - A Conversation with Professor Kimberly Kessler Ferzan

See generally

Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2023 52:41


In this episode of See generally, Kimberly Kessler Ferzan, Earle Hepburn Professor of Law and Professor of Philosophy and Co-Director of the Institute of Law and Philosophy at the University of Pennsylvania Carey Law School, joins Kristen Marino to discuss her research in criminal law theory and evidence. Professor Ferzan begins by describing her path to becoming a law professor and her experience working at the U.S. Department of Justice. Then, she discusses her forthcoming article, The Trouble with Time Served. She analyzes the potential justifications for pretrial detention and the practice of awarding credit for time served, arguing ultimately that this approach contributes to ongoing issues with the criminal justice system and that, alternatively, we should financially compensate defendants who are preventively detained. Additionally, Professor Ferzan describes her recently published paper, #WeToo, where she illustrates that the #MeToo movement's success was facilitated by group allegations. She analyzes the impacts that this phenomenon will have on the criminal justice system, including the effects of its intersection with racial injustices. Interview by Kristen Marino, Media Editor, Vol. 171, University of Pennsylvania Law Review. Produced and edited by Andrew Gormley. Cover Art by Emily Horwitz, Online Executive Editor, Vol. 170, University of Pennsylvania Law Review. Transcript. Cite as: See generally, A Conversation with Professor Kimberly Kessler Ferzan, U. Pa. L. Rev. (May 5, 2023), https://anchor.fm/see-generally-podcast. © University of Pennsylvania Law Review 2023.

Stafford Baptist Church
Ephesians 2:4-5

Stafford Baptist Church

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2023 44:59


We Too are Made Alive

Stafford Baptist Church
Ephesians 2:4-5

Stafford Baptist Church

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2023 44:59


We Too are Made Alive

The Christian Single Moms Podcast
When Church Isn't Safe: How Abuse Survivors Can Find Safe People with Mary DeMuth

The Christian Single Moms Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2022 48:02


Abuse survivors often struggle to find the support they need from their church communities, and may also find themselves isolated or further victimized when they try to speak up. Mary DeMuth shares how Scripture reveals the godly reponse to abuse, and explains how misinterpretations of Scripture have led to a lack of appropriate victim care in many churches. She discusses why safe relationships are so crucial to the healing process, and how victims can find a safe congregation when their own no longer feels like home. Sign up for Mary's 21 Day Healing Journey at WeToo.org Check out Mary's books, We Too & Not Marked What's Your Loneliness Type? Take the Quiz Sign up for our free private community experience, The PlusONE Parents Collective Purchase PlusONE Parents' devotional, Safe Haven: A Devotional for the Abused & Abandoned Join PlusONE Parents on Facebook and Instagram Discover more at PlusONEParents.org RECOMMENDED EPISODES E116- Is Abuse Grounds for Divorce? with Michelle Donnelly E112- Decoding the Narcissist: Exposing the Faces of Narcissism to find Freedom from Emotional & Spiritual Abuse with Chuck DeGroat

ADHD As Females
BONUS BLETHER with Phionna McInnes

ADHD As Females

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 20:17


This EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS EPISODE is a wee blether with Phionna McInnes about her AMAZING Aberdeen event for ADHD Awareness Month

Et Voilà !
Scoubidou Féminisme

Et Voilà !

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2022 10:47


Aujourd'hui vous allez entendre Emile, Baya, Alma, Adèle, Ysée, Gaspard, Suzanne, Bérénice, Aurore, Gabrielle, Nina, Margot, Téo, Kilian, Joy, Achille, Liam, Owen, Arthur, Fleur, Séphira,  Zenti et Louna.

The Wake Up Conservative
Ep 56 || SPECIAL GUEST:Mary DeMuth How Believers Can Respond & Be Advocates In A Sexual Abuse Crisis

The Wake Up Conservative

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2022 38:07


Happy Sunday! I hope you have had a great week & I am glad you have joined me for another week's episode.. Today's episode contains really deep content, and we are so honored to have invited Mary DeMuth on the podcast to discuss her book "We Too". She is a skilled author and speaker who has been through her own set of traumatic events and has relayed her experiences to share the goodness and healing God can bring! To keep up with her look up "Mary DeMuth" on any social media platform. To purchase any of her 44 books, search "We Too: How The Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis".

The Honest Mom Podcast
BIG NEWS & How Quitting is NOT Failing!

The Honest Mom Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 23:05


Today's solo episode is giving you some updates on something I've been talking about for ummmm...coming on 4 years! Why am I putting this out there? Because it's something many of you have been encouraging me through, supporting me, waiting for, and wondering how the process has been going. I can't leave my biggest cheerleaders hanging! Another theme throughout this that I want you all to remember with ANYTHING in life is quitting doesn't mean you're failing. Many times we are honoring our season, timing, signs, and feelings where we DO have to let go of something in order to move forward in other ways. At times we are simply pivoting. Sometimes we are changing the form of what we're doing. Then there are times we do need to put something on a bookshelf because the timing just sucks. We also need to recognize that WE TOO change in time and you may have had a goal 4 years ago but a lot has happened to you these last 4 years. You're different. Values may change. Lifestyle can be turned upside down. Your priorities are evolving. And that's OK!! You are NOT a flake. You are NOT a quitter. You are a human who is honoring her stage in life and what is working and... not working. Be proud of pivoting, changing, honoring what feels right. Not staying in something because you're told to or because you've already put so much time into it where you feel guilty saying goodbye. Remember that nothing is permanent and you always can go back to something if the stars align and your intuition tells you it's time again. I hope you enjoy this episode, the NEWS and the reasons why I made this decision for YOU as well as myself. Connect with me off of the podcast on my Instagram page, @thehonestmompodcast , my Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1763082143989755 or my website at www.michellemansfieldauthor.com THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT EVERYONE!!! - Michelle

The Holy Shift Show
EPISODE 6 - MISS MISUNDERSTOOD

The Holy Shift Show

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2022 30:29


Christine chats with author Mary DeMuth who shares her story as a survivor of sexual abuse and the heart behind her advocation for women's stories to be understood accurately and treated redemptively. Mary also helps us explore some women from the Bible that we may have been misjudging and misunderstanding. This episode will help us all ponder the upside-down kingdom teaching that even in our lowest moments, we are known, loved, and understood by God.View Show NotesVisit the WebsiteRead the Blog Connect with Christine   Take the QuizFollow on InstagramDon't forget to subscribe and leave a positive review to support Christine and help other people find this show!Support the show (https://www.betterunite.com/theholyshift-donate)

We Talk
#Teaser - We Talk au WeToo Festival

We Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2021 1:07


Bienvenue au We Talk, le podcast qui vous donne la parole ! En septembre dernier, nous étions à la Cité Fertile à Pantin et nous avons rencontré les spectateurices du WeToo Festival. Dans le tipi, au frais, au calme, installé.e.s dos à dos nous leur avons demandé : en quoi le féminisme influe-t-il sur nos sexualités ? Iels se sont confié.e.s intimement à notre micro, à votre tour de glisser votre oreille dans le Vestibule. Et vous aussi, vous pouvez prendre la parole en nous écrivant à contact@levestibule.org et sur nos réseaux sociaux. Enregistrement : Mathilde Chabin-Guignard et Mrs Rose Montage : Mathilde Chabin-Guignard Mixage et mastering : Cécile Martin Générique : Mathilde Chabin-Guignard et Cécile Martin Site : https://levestibule.org/ Instagram : @levestibulepodcast Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/LeVestibulePodcast

Le Vestibule
#Teaser - We Talk au WeToo Festival

Le Vestibule

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2021 1:07


Bienvenue au We Talk, le podcast qui vous donne la parole ! En septembre dernier, nous étions à la Cité Fertile à Pantin et nous avons rencontré les spectateurices du WeToo Festival. Dans le tipi, au frais, au calme, installé.e.s dos à dos, nous leur avons demandé : en quoi le féminisme influe-t-il sur nos sexualités ? Iels se sont confié.e.s intimement à notre micro, à votre tour de glisser votre oreille dans le Vestibule. Et vous aussi, vous pouvez prendre la parole en nous écrivant à contact@levestibule.org et sur nos réseaux sociaux. Enregistrement : Mathilde Chabin-Guignard et Mrs Rose Montage : Mathilde Chabin-Guignard Mixage et mastering : Cécile Martin Générique : Mathilde Chabin-Guignard et Cécile Martin Site : https://levestibule.org/ Instagram : @levestibulepodcast Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/LeVestibulePodcast

All at Once
2.03 Mary Demuth // How the church should respond to the sexual abuse crisis

All at Once

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2021 47:36


Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties Mary Demuth, author of We Too joins us to continue this conversation. Together, we explore how to create safer environments for the prevention of abuse.  Mary talks about policies and procedures we can put in place in our churches to promote safety and accountability.  She also explains … Read More

Victim 2 Victor - Surviving Abuse and Overcoming Trauma
“We Heal Better Together” WeToo Author, Advocate & Survivor Mary DeMuth, Healing From Abuse & Trauma

Victim 2 Victor - Surviving Abuse and Overcoming Trauma

Play Episode Play 30 sec Highlight Listen Later Oct 3, 2021 38:18


Mary DeMuth is an international speaker, literary agent, podcaster, and she's the novelist and non-fiction author of over FORTY books, including The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible. She lives in Texas with her husband of 31 years and is the mom to three adult children and loves to help people to find hope and healing to re-story their lives.From the age of just 5 years old, Mary was groomed by her father and sexually abused repeatedly by teenage boys which scarred her for life as she suffered traumatic consequences. Her coping mechanism was to disconnect from what was happening to her and so she was able to tolerate the abuse.Her life turned around at the age of 15 when she eventually met Christ. She says “I have the privilege of speaking openly about this issue that most keep hidden (that is the grace of God), and pray for people, and see them taste freedom, too. What a privilege!”We who were abused can serve as agents of healing, change, life, renewal and hope and we can now lend voices to those who can't speak. Even in this space of the internet, we can learn to be brave and tell our stories, to cry alongside, to be good community for each other and usher in healing. Find out more about Mary at marydemuth.com. She also hosts a popular daily prayer podcast show which has over 2 Million downloads and a space where you can be prayed for daily: prayeveryday.show. For a vast range of worldwide sexual abuse resources, visit wetoo.org.  For cards, prints, and artsy fun go to https://www.marydemuth.com/artIf you have a book that you are looking to be published then you can find out what she is looking for as a literary agent by visiting her page here: https://www.booksandsuch.com/our-agen...Thanks For Watching!========================================================Follow us on:- Website:   https://victim2victor.net/- FACEBOOK:   https://www.facebook.com/victim2victor- TWITTER:    https://twitter.com/V2V_healing- Victim 2 Victor Audio Book Audible: https://adbl.co/3akVNCu - Victim 2 Victor Book on Amazon: 

All at Once
2.02 Mary Demuth // We Too

All at Once

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2021


Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties Mary Demuth, a survivor of sexual abuse and author of We Too, joins us to talk about what it is like to build a healthy family as a person who has experienced abuse and trauma. We also talk about our struggle with the voices who have tried … Read More

Let Your Freak Flag Fly
Mindy Meng Wang :: AAO :: Diploid

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2021


Intro: Serene Ailment Incantation Praxis from cold_storage   Mindy Meng Wang An Improvisation Through Time and Space 穿越时光的即兴  (Music in Exile, 2020) Forbidden City, A Cold Moon 故宫 . 冷月Clown's New Trick 小丑的新把戏Thoughts in the Rain 落雨思 Dimensions of a Strange Land 异境 Australian Art Orchestra, Reuben Lewis, Tariro Mavondo, Peter Knight Closed Beginnings (2021)We Too, Roar Firefly Jars Creases of Gods Sweet Sticky Revolution Diploid I AM YOURS. AND I AM HERE AGAIN (Heavy Machinery, flash fwd 2021)

La Matinale de 19h
L'apéro // Le théâtre jeune public avec la compagnie Chouette Il Pleut // 09.09.2021

La Matinale de 19h

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2021 58:26


Dans cet épisode de L'apéro, nous recevons Manon et Emeline de la compagnie de théâtre Chouette Il Pleut pour parler du spectacle pour les petits et les grands "Ce matin là". Nous discutons de leur parcours respectif, mais aussi plus largement du théâtre jeune public et de ce que ça implique (ou pas) en tant que comédien·ne et metteureuse en scène de travailler à des spectacles qui se destinent entre autres à un public d'enfants. Nous parlons également en fin d'émission du WeToo festival sur lequel Emeline est bénévole. Illustration de Elisabetta Spaggiari pour la compagnie Chouette Il Pleut  

La Matinale de 19h
L'apéro // Le théâtre jeune public avec la compagnie Chouette Il Pleut

La Matinale de 19h

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2021


Dans cet épisode de L'apéro, nous recevons Manon et Emeline de la compagnie de théâtre Chouette Il Pleut pour parler du spectacle pour les petits et les grands "Ce matin là". Nous discutons de leur parcours respectif, mais aussi plus largement du théâtre jeune public et de ce que ça implique (ou pas) en tant que comédien·ne et metteureuse en scène de travailler à des spectacles qui se destinent entre autres à un public d'enfants. Nous parlons également en fin d'émission du WeToo festival sur lequel Emeline est bénévole. Illustration de Elisabetta Spaggiari pour la compagnie Chouette Il Pleut

The Alabaster Jar
We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis (Conversation with Mary Demuth) - AJ 9

The Alabaster Jar

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2021 27:46


In the throes of the #MeToo movement, our response as Christians is vital. God beckons us to be good Samaritans to those facing trauma and brokenness in the aftermath of abuse and provide safe spaces to heal. Lynn Cohick and Ingrid Farro explore with Mary DeMuth how to foster a culture of honesty and listening and calls on the church to enter the places where people are hurting. In the circle of that kind of empathetic #WeToo community, the church must become what it's meant to be—a place of justice and healing for everyone. Learn more about Mary's work here: http://bit.ly/AJPodcast_MaryDeMuth

Gather Moms
Episode 40: HOME; Placentas, Plots and Pomodoros with Mary DeMuth

Gather Moms

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2021 38:05


Welcome our special guest, Mary DeMuth, speaker, writer, podcaster, artist and literary agent. Yes, she is an all around amazing human! Mary is an accomplished author and pioneer for speaking truth and healing from sexual abuse. Her book, We Too, is a incredible resource for churches looking to address this issue and offer help. Thank you, Mary, for having the uncomfortable conversations and creating a culture of change in the church today! Mary's HOME office is the epicenter of her creative work where she writes, records her Pray Everyday podcast and paints scripture cards. She reminds us that there are training years where we grow our gift without the promise of success. We remain diligent in the 3x3 plot, flexing our muscles and practicing our passions. Mary's words of advice to all of us is what she heard God speak to her, "Choose small, tend large." Stay faithful in what God is giving you and look to him for the growth! Mentions: Mary encouraged us to use the Pomodoro technique: Beat procrastination and improve your focus one pomodoro at a time.Tiny Habits by BJ FoggHow to get started: Find a local Writers' group, Take notes when you listen to other speakers, Look for local opportunities to speak and share, Pay your dues.Mary encourages young writers to - Practice - Master - Venture Connect with Mary: Visit her website here and her Etsy shop Follow Mary DeMuth: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter Support Us: Monthly Donation | One-Time Donation Connect with Us: Gather Moms: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Kate Henderson: Instagram | Facebook Rebecca Bradford: Instagram | Facebook

Entre Nos Lignes
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Chère Ijeawele

Entre Nos Lignes

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2021 2:04


Pour répondre à l'invitation du We Too, festival inclusif, féministe et familial, j'ai eu envie de parler des enfants à travers le livre de Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Chère Ijeawele, ou un manifeste pour une éducation féministe et voici donc un épisode spécial d'Entre Nos Lignes.Je suis persuadée que l'éducation permettra de changer durablement la société pour que les futures générations n'aient même pas à déconstruire un à un les stéréotypes de genre.Si j'ai choisi cet ouvrage, c'est parce que, comme comédienne, je travaille pour une prochaine création qui parle de la maternité et, qu'à titre personnel, je suis devenue la maman d'une petite fille et que tout cela se mêle et me questionne.Je lui souhaite de grandir libre et forte. Je ne voudrais pas lui apprendre à faire gaffe. Je voudrais me dire qu'elle n'aura jamais peur dans la rue et savoir que les garçons ont été éduqués à la respecter, à la traiter en égale et à ne jamais voir en elle une proie. Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

Classic Musicals From The Golden Age of Radio
WPMT #41: The Chocolate Soldier

Classic Musicals From The Golden Age of Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2021 35:46


Who's that? A handsome stranger? You'll just have to tune into the all-new WPMT premiere of “The Chocolate Soldier” to find out! Starring Virginia Haskins, Gordon MacRae, Bea Benadaret, Lou Merrill and Marvin Miller, the audio performance features hit songs “We Too, Are Lonely,” “Chocolate Soldier,” “The Letter Song” and more!Edited by Remington CleveNew episodes every Tuesday at 1pm CT!

Native Diamond Podcast
A Day To Remember - You're Welcome | Quick Album Chat | Cody Ritchie of Goal Keeper | We Too, Will Fade - "My Dying Friend / I Tried My Best"

Native Diamond Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2021 17:52


AAWW Radio: New Asian American Writers & Literature
#WeToo: Journal of Asian American Studies

AAWW Radio: New Asian American Writers & Literature

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2021 47:06


In time for the Association of Asian American Studies Conference that kicks off this week, we’re reposting an episode from the newly launched Journal of Asian American Studies podcast! We discuss a unique special issue of The Journal of Asian American Studies: #WeToo, a reader of Art, Poetry, Fiction, and Memoir, that seeks to answer the question, “What does sexual violence look like in the lives of those hailed as “model minority?” Intended as a reader for the college classroom, the #WeToo special issue contains works that make academic language and theories of sexual violence relevant and workable for our students’ understanding of their own lives and experiences. This episode is hosted by Chris Patterson and features interviews with the issue editors, erin Khuê Ninh and Shireen Roshanravan, as well as with two contributors, James McMaster, and Mashuq Mushtaq Deen. This special issue of the Journal of Asian American Studies was published in partnership with the Asian American Writers’ Workshop and our digital magazine The Margins. Read a selection of pieces from #WeToo online at https://aaww.org/we-too-introduction-ninh-roshanravan/ Forthcoming episodes of the JAAS X New Books Network Podcast can be found here: https://newbooksnetwork.com/erin-khu%C3%AA-ninh-wetoo-reader-jaas-2021

The Oldest Profession Podcast
Old Pro Panel: Jack the Ripper's Victims

The Oldest Profession Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2021 54:33


To conclude our series on Jack the Ripper's victims, our Old Pro historian Dr. Charlene J. Fletcher hosts a panel discussion with Charlotte, a spokeswoman for the English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP) and AK Saini, a contributing author to We Too, as well as a sex worker and storyteller.

Beyond Rad Podcast
Episode 106 - Shmagi Liklikadze of We Too, Will Fade

Beyond Rad Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2021 114:39


Ending 2020 with a bang, We Too, Will Fade celebrated the conclusion of one of the nuttiest years in modern history by dropping a three song EP that is absolutely killer! The band described the EP, Everything Falls Apart as it Should as "Post-hardcore surrounded by flowers." It was an absolute delight being able to talk to Shmagi about a huge array of topics, including his upbringing in Georgia, the lockdowns, mental health, the EP, funny memories from our lives, and so much more! If you enjoy the content, be sure to subscribe and follow the podcast! Also, share and like! Thank you for listening! If there are bands that you would like to hear on the show or if you’re a band that would like to join me for an interview, please reach out to me at podcast@beyondradentertainment.com. Twitch: Twitch.tv/MrRadChad Instagram: @BeyondRadPodcast | @MrRadChad --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beyondrad/support

The Oldest Profession Podcast

Recorded during the release of our series on Jack the Ripper's victims, Kaytlin and Dr. Fletcher had the great pleasure of speaking with Tina Horn.  Tina is the creator and writer of the sci-fi sex-rebel comic book series SfSx (Safe Sex), which you can proudly contribute to the book's Kickstarter HERE. She's also the author of two nonfiction books and has contributed to or creative directed numerous anthologies including the queer horror collection Theater of Terror and the feminist essay collections We Too and Believe Me. For more information, please visit https://tinahorn.net.

New Books in Gender Studies
erin Khuê Ninh, "#WeToo Reader" (JAAS, 2021)

New Books in Gender Studies

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2021 47:26


In this inaugural episode, we discuss a unique special issue of The Journal of Asian American Studies: #WeToo, a reader of Art, Poetry, Fiction, and Memoir, that seeks to answer the question, “What does sexual violence look like in the lives of those hailed as “model minority?” Intended as a reader for the college classroom, the #WeToo special issue contains works that make academic language and theories of sexual violence relevant and workable for our students’ understanding of their own lives and experiences. This episode features interviews with the issue editors, erin Khuê Ninh and Shireen Roshanravan, as well as with two contributors, James McMaster, and Mashuq Mushtaq Deen. The JAAS Podcast is a collaboration between the New Books Network and the Journal of Asian American Studies (JAAS) and is hosted by Chris Patterson (University of British Columbia). The Issue’s Companion Website on the Asian American Writers Workshop is here. Christopher B. Patterson is an Assistant Professor in the Social Justice Institute at the University of British Columbia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm

New Books in Asian American Studies
erin Khuê Ninh, "#WeToo Reader" (JAAS, 2021)

New Books in Asian American Studies

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2021 47:26


In this inaugural episode, we discuss a unique special issue of The Journal of Asian American Studies: #WeToo, a reader of Art, Poetry, Fiction, and Memoir, that seeks to answer the question, “What does sexual violence look like in the lives of those hailed as “model minority?” Intended as a reader for the college classroom, the #WeToo special issue contains works that make academic language and theories of sexual violence relevant and workable for our students’ understanding of their own lives and experiences. This episode features interviews with the issue editors, erin Khuê Ninh and Shireen Roshanravan, as well as with two contributors, James McMaster, and Mashuq Mushtaq Deen. The JAAS Podcast is a collaboration between the New Books Network and the Journal of Asian American Studies (JAAS) and is hosted by Chris Patterson (University of British Columbia). The Issue’s Companion Website on the Asian American Writers Workshop is here. Christopher B. Patterson is an Assistant Professor in the Social Justice Institute at the University of British Columbia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm

New Books in American Studies
erin Khuê Ninh, "#WeToo Reader" (JAAS, 2021)

New Books in American Studies

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2021 47:26


In this inaugural episode, we discuss a unique special issue of The Journal of Asian American Studies: #WeToo, a reader of Art, Poetry, Fiction, and Memoir, that seeks to answer the question, “What does sexual violence look like in the lives of those hailed as “model minority?” Intended as a reader for the college classroom, the #WeToo special issue contains works that make academic language and theories of sexual violence relevant and workable for our students’ understanding of their own lives and experiences. This episode features interviews with the issue editors, erin Khuê Ninh and Shireen Roshanravan, as well as with two contributors, James McMaster, and Mashuq Mushtaq Deen. The JAAS Podcast is a collaboration between the New Books Network and the Journal of Asian American Studies (JAAS) and is hosted by Chris Patterson (University of British Columbia). The Issue’s Companion Website on the Asian American Writers Workshop is here. Christopher B. Patterson is an Assistant Professor in the Social Justice Institute at the University of British Columbia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm

New Books Network
erin Khuê Ninh, "#WeToo Reader" (JAAS, 2021)

New Books Network

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2021 47:26


In this inaugural episode, we discuss a unique special issue of The Journal of Asian American Studies: #WeToo, a reader of Art, Poetry, Fiction, and Memoir, that seeks to answer the question, “What does sexual violence look like in the lives of those hailed as “model minority?” Intended as a reader for the college classroom, the #WeToo special issue contains works that make academic language and theories of sexual violence relevant and workable for our students’ understanding of their own lives and experiences. This episode features interviews with the issue editors, erin Khuê Ninh and Shireen Roshanravan, as well as with two contributors, James McMaster, and Mashuq Mushtaq Deen. The JAAS Podcast is a collaboration between the New Books Network and the Journal of Asian American Studies (JAAS) and is hosted by Chris Patterson (University of British Columbia). The Issue’s Companion Website on the Asian American Writers Workshop is here. Christopher B. Patterson is an Assistant Professor in the Social Justice Institute at the University of British Columbia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm

Wine, Dine, and 69
Episode 25: Chloe from "Stripper Stories"

Wine, Dine, and 69

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2021 49:38


Rachel talks pandemic, podcast, and gives an Alain de Botton recommendation before getting into a conversation with Chloe from the podcast “Stripper Stories”. They talk about the logistics of working in a strip club, lingerie, client stories, and the challenges and stigmas that people in the sex industry are currently facing. Episode Notes: Conversation with Chloe starts at 10:47:00. Find Chloe on the “Stripper Stories” podcast: Instagram: @stripperstoriespodcast Twitter: @PodcastStripper Find the podcast on Spotify, Apple, Anchor, or wherever you get your podcasts Petitions to support Sex Workers: http://chng.it/DSj5y8Ppqg https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/decrimnowdc/ https://prostitutescollective.net/petition/ https://sign.moveon.org/petitions/decriminilizelegalize Lingerie brand Chloe mentioned: Honey Birdette Brands that Rachel couldn’t remember: Savage X Fenty, Hanky Panky, Yummie, Parade “Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino” podcasts about sex work: The History of Sex Work with Kaytlin Baile‪y‬: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-history-of-sex-work-with-kaytlin-bailey/id528427969?i=1000504255697 Natalie West on We Too: Sex Work and Surviva‪l https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/natalie-west-on-we-too-sex-work-and-survival/id528427969?i=1000508209391 We Too: Sex Work and Survival Part ‪2‬ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-too-sex-work-and-survival-part-2/id528427969?i=1000509054993 The Oldest Profession Podcast: https://theoldestprofessionpodcast.com/ “We Too” Book: https://www.feministpress.org/books-n-z/we-too Alain de Botton “On Being” episode, “The True Hard Work of Love and Relationships”: https://onbeing.org/programs/alain-de-botton-the-true-hard-work-of-love-and-relationships/ Alain de Botton NYT Article, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person”: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine@allportsopen.com! Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers). Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann.

Wine, Dine, and 69
Episode 25: Chloe from "Stripper Stories"

Wine, Dine, and 69

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2021 49:38


Rachel talks pandemic, podcast, and gives an Alain de Botton recommendation before getting into a conversation with Chloe from the podcast “Stripper Stories”. They talk about the logistics of working in a strip club, lingerie, client stories, and the challenges and stigmas that people in the sex industry are currently facing. Episode Notes: Conversation with Chloe starts at 10:47:00. Find Chloe on the “Stripper Stories” podcast: Instagram: @stripperstoriespodcast Twitter: @PodcastStripper Find the podcast on Spotify, Apple, Anchor, or wherever you get your podcasts Petitions to support Sex Workers: http://chng.it/DSj5y8Ppqg https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/decrimnowdc/ https://prostitutescollective.net/petition/ https://sign.moveon.org/petitions/decriminilizelegalize Lingerie brand Chloe mentioned: Honey Birdette Brands that Rachel couldn’t remember: Savage X Fenty, Hanky Panky, Yummie, Parade “Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino” podcasts about sex work: The History of Sex Work with Kaytlin Baile‪y‬: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-history-of-sex-work-with-kaytlin-bailey/id528427969?i=1000504255697 Natalie West on We Too: Sex Work and Surviva‪l https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/natalie-west-on-we-too-sex-work-and-survival/id528427969?i=1000508209391 We Too: Sex Work and Survival Part ‪2‬ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-too-sex-work-and-survival-part-2/id528427969?i=1000509054993 The Oldest Profession Podcast: https://theoldestprofessionpodcast.com/ “We Too” Book: https://www.feministpress.org/books-n-z/we-too Alain de Botton “On Being” episode, “The True Hard Work of Love and Relationships”: https://onbeing.org/programs/alain-de-botton-the-true-hard-work-of-love-and-relationships/ Alain de Botton NYT Article, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person”: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine@allportsopen.com! Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers). Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann.

Why Are People Into That?!
WE TOO: Natalie West

Why Are People Into That?!

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2021 83:44


For the first episode of a special series celebrating the release of We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival, I chatted with the book's editor Natalie West. (I associate edited and contributed to the anthology!) //"You have to be ok with ambiguity to grapple with what the book presents and what sex work is."//Natalie reflects on her choice to market herself as the Lesbian Dominatrix of Los Angeles. Then we get into the long history of how we came to co-edit this anthology of sex workers responding to the Me Too movement. Stay tuned for more episodes featuring other contributors to the book. And snag your copy, out 2.9.21 from Feminist Press! //Natalie West is a Los Angeles based writer and educator. She worked as a professional Dominatrix while obtaining her PhD in Gender Studies. These days, she is a professor who moonlights as a sex work, BDSM, and queer community authenticity consultant for film and television. //We Too is a collection of narrative essays by sex workers presents a crystal-clear rejoinder: there’s never been a better time to fight for justice. Responding to the resurgence of the #MeToo movement in 2017, sex workers from across the industry—hookers and prostitutes, strippers and dancers, porn stars, cam models, Dommes and subs alike—complicate narratives of sexual harassment and violence, and expand conversations often limited to normative workplaces.Writing across topics such as homelessness, motherhood, and toxic masculinity, We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival gives voice to the fight for agency and accountability across sex industries. With contributions by leading voices in the movement such as Melissa Gira Grant, Ceyenne Doroshow, Audacia Ray, femi babylon, April Flores, and Yin Q, this anthology explores sex work as work, and sex workers as laboring subjects in need of respect—not rescue.A portion of this book's net proceeds will be donated to SWOP Behind Bars (SBB). Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/yapit. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Peepshow Podcast
Episode 83: Sex work, motherhood, and narrative with Juniper Fitzgerald

Peepshow Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2021 75:18


In Episode 83, we talk to Juniper Fitzgerald, author of the first children’s book to show a sex working mama, “How Mamas Love Their Babies.” We talk about sex work and motherhood, pregnancy, narrative, string theory, nostalgia, and more! We also talk about her essay in the new anthology, We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival, edited by Tina Horn and Natalie West, and published on Feminist Press.  Episode sponsored by Aorta Films, After Adult Podcast, Assembly Four and TroubleFilms.  And special shoutout to Liara Roux and Frankie Rivers, our $50/month Patreon subscribers. patreon.com/peepshowpodcast 

Happy & Holy
Creating Safe Communities | Rediscovering Jesus

Happy & Holy

Play Episode Play 30 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 25, 2021 37:27 Transcription Available


Scandal has become a part of the evangelical reputation, pushing many to leave churches. So how do we create a community that feels safe?You're listening to Happy & Holy, a podcast about discipleship and community and how we meet each other right where we are to be the people of God on planet earth. And when we do, we have the potential to become the happy and holy disciples we are meant to be. I'm your host Kate Boyd, and we're talking about safe spaces. With many leaving larger congregations and searching for community in smaller spaces, it's important to talk about accountability because smaller communities are also not immune to issues of spiritual and physical abuse. Today, my guest is Mary DeMuth. Mary DeMuth is an international speaker and podcaster, and she's the novelist and nonfiction author of over forty books, including Pray Every Day (Harvest House Publishers 2020) and We Too. She loves to help people re-story their lives. She lives in Texas with her husband of 30 years and is the mom to three adult children. And she's joining me to lend her prophetic voice to how we create safety in our communities no matter what size.Mary is wise and helpful, and I'm so glad she shared from her experiences and wisdom to help us create a healthier environment to grow as disciples together.To Learn More from MaryFind out more at marydemuth.com. Be prayed for on her daily prayer podcast with over one million downloads: prayeveryday.show. For sexual abuse resources, visit wetoo.org. For writer mastermind information, go to writermastermind.com. For cards, prints, and artsy fun go to marydemuth.com/art. Social Media: Instagram.com/marydemuthtwitter.com/marydemuthfacebook.com/authormarydemuthLooking to create biblical community with intimacy and integrity? The Couches & Cathedrals newsletter is for you. Not only will you hear the latest updates about the podcast, but you'll also get weekly nuggets about building community wherever you find yourself in location or in life. Sign up today at kateboyd.co/newsletter 

2 Black Girls, 1 Rose: A Bachelor Podcast
Ep. 10: Everybody Has a Story

2 Black Girls, 1 Rose: A Bachelor Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2020 10:16


Buzz is everything. We TOO are falling in love with Tayshia as we watch. How is next week hometowns? We love everyone (Noah and Bennett aside). Is this one of the best seasons of the franchise? WANT RECAPS OF THE BACHELOR? For hilarious exclusive weekly recaps of The Bachelor Franchise and other reality shows, support our podcast by becoming a patron for just $5/month at patreon.com/2blackgirls1rose Shoutout to the newest member of our team — Jodie, our editor! She’s dope, we love her, she’s literally changing our lives. To tap into her awesome editing skills, contact her at jodiegordonmedia@gmail.com or find her on IG @jodiegordonmedia.   WE GOT MERCH! We got merch y'all! Tshirts, tanks, sweatshirts, mugs, totebags, stickers! Order your 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose gear today at www.teespring.com/2blackgirls1rose   CONNECT WITH US! Twitter: @2blkgirls1rose Instagram: @2blackgirls1rose Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2blackgirls1rose Email us questions and feedback at 2blackgirls1rose@gmail.com

AWR English (Southern Asia / India)
REASONS FOR LOST PASSION

AWR English (Southern Asia / India)

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2020 28:49


AWR - Voice of Hope
REASONS FOR LOST PASSION

AWR - Voice of Hope

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2020 28:49


The Redheaded Ragamuffin
Mary Demuth #WeToo

The Redheaded Ragamuffin

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2019 44:32


For all the good that the modern Church has done, it has also had many problems that it has refused to recognize. There is much need for the people of Christ to recognize that and reach out to help those who have been damaged and scarred. Fortunately, Mary Demuth is leading the way and showing us how this is possible in her book "We Too". Mary joins me in this episode to talk about how we can be a true light to the world and help start healing the hurt that has been caused by so many in the Church. Thank you Mary for walking with the broken and for being our advocate. You are the hands and feet of Jesus. www.theredheadedragamuffin.com

Dismantle Podcast
109. "#WeToo" with Mary DeMuth

Dismantle Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2019 21:16


Mary DeMuth shares her story with sexual abuse and trauma and how the church can best step into the problem together. Connect with Mary: www.wetoo.org

Mornings with Carmen
Update on vaping crisis & when it's wise to use emergency rooms | Responding redemptively to the abuse crisis

Mornings with Carmen

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2019 39:53


Dr. Bret Nicks of the Christian Medical and Dental Association offers an update on what's behind the vaping crisis, plus he talks about proper use of emergency rooms. Mary DeMuth, author of "We Too," confronts sexual abuse, plus talks about how God restores and redeems victims.

Mornings with Carmen
Update on vaping crisis & when it's wise to use emergency rooms | Responding redemptively to the abuse crisis

Mornings with Carmen

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2019 39:52


Dr. Bret Nicks of the Christian Medical and Dental Association offers an update on what's behind the vaping crisis, plus he talks about proper use of emergency rooms. Mary DeMuth, author of "We Too," confronts sexual abuse, plus talks about how God restores and redeems victims.

The Apprenticeship Way with Marc Alan Schelske
Time to Listen to Survivors of Sexual Trauma (TAW023)

The Apprenticeship Way with Marc Alan Schelske

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2019 37:14


Episode 023 - It's Time to Listen to the Survivors of Sexual Abuse One of the easiest ways to fail to love well is to assume that YOUR experience is canonical and that others have had the same experience you've had. We often do this with survivors of trauma. In this episode Mary DeMuth, author and advocate for sexual abuse victims, speaks to the issue of how Christians and Church Leaders often fail the survivors of trauma and how we can do better. Show Notes Show notes will not be a transcript. At least not now. You'll find a few key bullet points, any scriptures references, as well as any other books or resources referenced. More from Mary DeMuthHer website https://www.marydemuth.comHer book We Too's site: https://www.wetoo.org/Her book on Amazon New Links Get caught up on the Anchor Prayer episodes before I continue the series.How abiding is possible (Anchor Prayer 1)Is memorized prayer the thing you've been missing? (Anchor Prayer 2)What is the anchor prayer? (Anchor Prayer 3) Reserve your spot my next live teaching, How to Grow Spiritually in the Middle of a Very Busy & Stressful Life. This will be a tight 35-minute teaching that is very practical, plus you'll get a free PDF of a great Gratitude practice, one of my best book recommendations and more. Info & Sign up Here: http://live210.com/busy-growth-event Find My Stuff The Wisdom of Your Heart: Discovering the God Given Purpose and Power of Your Emotions.Discovering your Authentic Core Values: A Step-by-step GuideUntangle Workbook: A guided journaling process for untangling emotions and finding wisdom. Subscribe to my Email List.Subscribe to The Apprenticeship Way on iTunes and all other podcasting apps. Find a video version on my Youtube Channel.

The Sectarian Review
Sectarian Review 129: #WeToo

The Sectarian Review

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2019 40:51


For the past couple of years, the #MeToo movement has built momentum and shed a cleansing light on sexual abuse perpetrated by powerful people on countless women and men. Entertainment, journalism, government, business, education. Seemingly no institution or industry has avoided scandal as more and more victims come forward. Joining me today is Mary DeMuth, who has written a book about how this movement has also challenged the Evangelical church and how the Church should respond. Mary is an author, speaker, and fellow podcaster who is passionate about helping people live what she calls a “re-storied” life. A survivor of neglect and sexual abuse, Mary was rescued by Jesus when she was 15, and has spent her life healing from trauma so she can help other not feel so alone. The book is called We Too: How the Church can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis and its published by Harvest House Publishers, coming out on August 13, 2019. And I am absolutely thrilled to speak with her today.