The Squeeze Baseball Show

On Episode 85 of The Squeeze, the boys try to make sense of the current labor negotiations, they discuss the hottest, most poppin'ist news around baseball, they rate the top third basemen going into 2022... as well as something else of gargantuan proportions.

On the latest episode of The Squeeze, the boys get YOU caught up on legitimately all of the pre-lockout news we could remember! What is Rob Manfred doing? Will the lockout end anytime soon? And most importantly, did the steroid era save our great game?

In this week's episode, we've got some negotiation news, congratulatory words for guys who deserve it, a word on the hall of fame, our all-time baseball movie character draft, and some free agency predictions!

On Episode 82 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, the boys get down & dirty with some free agency predictions AND rumors. We see the return of extension heaven, and the boys take time to ponder the mysteries of the universe.

The boys are back in town...? In the studio? Let's not get into the semantics of it all but the Squeeze is back and better than ever! The boys recap the season that was, discuss the playoffs up until the WORLD FREAKING SERIES.. and so much more!

Episode 80 - The Lost Episode... May Edition? by Tyler Merkle

WE ARE BACK! Baseball has returned to the United States of America, and it's the greatest thing to happen ever.To our friends in Canada, you gotta wait, but that's okay, because you put gravy on your french fries: also Canada, who puts milk in a bag? What is that madness? In the world of baseball, Tyler is super hype about older news surrounding Francsico Lindor, while Michael legit can't believe what happened with Miguel Cabrera and a blizzard, seeing as how he's so pale he blends into snow sometimes. Benches clear all over the NL Central, and that's ironic because the division is weaker than my hamstrings (they are notoriously weak, like Drax's turds are notoriously huge). I have worn a polo everyday for the past month and I don't know what to do with myself. Also Georgia #politicsinsports

We would just like to begin this episode description by saying: tacos are legally a vegetable, and no we will not be providing context nor a competent defense. In the world of baseball, let's just say things are getting *warmer* but like because everyone is in a hot place with either a lot of alligators or a lot of sand--the sand is making Anakin Skywalker really f*ckin pissed right now. Tyler goes into the intricacies of why COVID is real and Aubrey Huff is the dumbest man alive, and Michael explains why Fernando Tatís Jr was given a ton of money (I'm pretty sure it's opposite in the episode, but I'm going to defend that as hard as I'll defend the taco as a vegetable thing). By the way, Johnny Damon decided to drive drunk and that's a no-no, Jose Canseco decided to try and be incredibly relevant and it fell hard like he did in the Barstool Fight, and A Rod and JLo are going through a big old R-Problemo (we can abbreviate, too). Someone let Zack Greinke hit and run the bases. Ryan Braun has bug eyes--this is known, we just reiterate the fact.

Repdigits are a thing you should look up, because that's what this episode of The Squeeze is. Michael and Tyler both have to take cholesterol pills now, but not because of any major heart problems, just because of the fact that the CARDINALS ACQUIRED NOLAN ARENADO AND THEIR HEARTS CAN'T STOP FLUTTERING OVER THE FACT. In return for this bountiful harvest, the Colorado Rockies get a singular chip, a tissue, and a penny, but more on that in the episode. People on the internet are incredibly fun to play around with, especially those who are as*holes #followusonInstagram. JT Realmuto is heading to a city full of bells, which just sounds lovely, almost as lovely as the amount of cash he's getting to do so. Trevor Bauer has so much money now that he's making a fourth Expendables movie where he'll star as both the hero and villain (it's an artistic interpretation, let the man experiment). Curt Schilling is big mad because they did something he's not a fan of: counting all the votes. MLB is trying to do some stuff that the rest of us don't like, so the player's association is telling them to stop in a very firm manner. Fernando Tatis Jr is doing something really cool! Mickey Callaway is a terrible person.

This episode is gonna be a f*cking long one bois, because we have EVERYTHING to talk about from arbitration, with over 90 contracts from just that alone. Michael and Tyler embark on this brave endeavor, doing so completely free of any mental reservation, except the nagging belief in Tyler's mind that there won't be enough complimentary tacos to sustain our journey. Michael is a college boi again, and dear lord he's terrified about it, but probably not as terrified as the owners of the Diamondbacks and Giants, who donate money to people who want to carry guns into places where guns are not allowed (those people are *ssholes). Some pretty good contracts outside of arbitration were signed, trades were made with who else but the Padres, and Trevor Bauer has a music career that we're happy didn't pan out. Curt Schilling is not a good person, and we'll defend that statement in court. STOP SEXUALLY HARASSING WOMEN

This is a special episode BI*CHES! For Numero 75 of this amazing podcast, which is a completely unbiased opinion, Tyler and Michael embark on a quest to try and make each other feel both dumb and smart at the same time--with a twist ending. While the rent may be too d*mn high, the IQ levels are not, which isn't a diss, it's just a fact, which therefore means it legally can not be a diss: my lawyer says so, and his lawyer is Rudy Guiliani, so you know he's smart s/. Enjoy this episode, and then tell your mother about it, and when she gets confused by you telling her to listen to it, reply with ‘cheeseburgers are just spicy hamburgers' then chug an undetermined amount of oatmeal to assert your dominance. Then read a book about World War II, because there was baseball going on while a war was happening. Wow, look at that: symmetry.

Hello mortals, I am broadcasting from the intergalactic podcast center, where we have just watched all of Ken Burns “Baseball” and we would just like to say that the Studs Terkel dude is weird but his name completely suits his personality and voice. Tyler has recently discovered that Plutonium does not actually consist of something from Pluto the dog nor Pluto the planet, and Michael recently read a book and he's a bit too proud of it. I mean, it was Goodnight Moon, it's not that hard to read. YES IT IS! SHUT UP MICHAEL, NO ONE CARES! Literally all of the baseball players that you are probably like “oh yeah that guy” are heading west to the land of the far east, which geographically makes a lot of sense but grammatically is a nightmare. Those not heading to Asia to play baseball are going to San Diego, except for Lindor and Cookie they're going to New York FUHGEDDABOUDIT. Turns out I am heading to San Diego as well, but sadly it's for Comic Con, where I will be distributing deodorant, which sounds pleasant but smells not pleasant because no one will be wearing it. 2020 was the worst thing to happen to baseball since Willson Contreras was born. Jon Heyman takes L's like I take candy from babies: easily.

(We totally didn't forget to make this Christmas themed stfu). Listen, alright, this year has been super stressful on all of us, but we just wanna say that we love you guys, and that we hope you found joy in this podcast. Seriously, we have so much fun doing this for you bois we hope that you have fun listening to it as well. Shoutout to Conner O'Quinn, he's a helluva dude. Omar Vizquel literally became one of the worst people alive, which is 1000% not okay. The Negro Leagues are now recognized as major league: this is okay, better than that, even! Congrats to Trey Mancini on kicking cancer's ass! Trevor Bauer is trying really hard to win at Twitter polls, which isn't in the Christmas spirit at all, and, to top it all off, Michael and Tyler together are trying to figure out the contract situations of JT Realmuto, DJ LeMahieu, and TJ Oshie, who actually doesn't play baseball (Dylan wtf how'd you get in here?). Gape Kapler is either smart or a f*cking idiot. The Mets have too much money; someone should Robin Hood them. Also David Eckstein.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, and the magical wizard Gandalf the Grey, Michael straight up ate an elephant. Like he did that, and Tyler cheered him on. Dylan was there, too, and honestly we're not sure if we should call the zoo or the police. Anyway, everyone in baseball is signing one year contracts, except for Kyle Schwarber and Archie Bradley: they didn't get invited to the party and that's kinda sad, but not like the sad where you cry, more like the sad where you feel guilty, kinda like a criminal or something idk. Bryce Harper makes a surprise appearance but not for good reasons. Andy Martino is such a dumb person we're not even sure if he knows how to walk and breathe air at the same time (this also applies for Aubrey Huff). Don't solicit prostitutes or you'll end up like Brian O'Nora. Remember Bryan LaHair? Yeah, we neither, which is why we don't say his name during this episode.

A wise old man once told me to write the description for Episode 71 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, and I told him to go to hell and then had him institutionalized, because ain't no man telling me what to do! *z-snaps* Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker confuse Tyler, who is working on the dev team for Minecraft 2, and Michael, who is trying for the never-before done second Eagle Scout award. Meanwhile Theo Epstein decides to take a break from baseball of his own accord, while Robinson Canó takes a break because he got caught cheating (again). Many baseball people are doing naughty things in countries that are not the United States, and people are actually being signed by baseball teams, which actually gives us baseball content to talk about thank God. Michael is a Hufflepuff, Tyler is Slytherin. Louie LL Cool J (this makes sense in context trust us). Steve Cohen is nice and shiny and full of money.

This episode of The Squeeze is gonna be a little different, but not like too different: it's gonna be just different enough that you're gonna be like “wait, was that different? No, it couldn't have been, unless…?” Michael is eating a ton of tacos (like an ungodly amount someone please stop him) while Tyler is wearing a magical tutu that teleports him to various alternate dimensions. History has been made in baseball, with Miami hiring the first ever female and first ever Asian American general manager, and the Mets are slowly but surely trying to be discount Tyrion Lannisters by taking over the world (gonna be honest, we've never seen Star Trek so we're not sure if that reference was right or not). Also, ton of COVID stuff, weird Sonny Gray Twitter stuff, awards being handed out stuff, Tony LaRussa stuff, and stuff stuff. Only go on Club Penguin with your parents' permission. This episode was made possible by PBS viewers like you, thank you.

In the nicest episode of the Squeeze Baseball Podcast,Tyler and Michael cannot contain their giggles because this episode is literally the sex number Like we don't even have to write any jokes in this description, just look at the fact that it's episode 69 and laugh like we do. The World Series happened and a team from a state and a city won, so congratulations to them. The bois break down everything they saw from the series, and they congratulate the World Series winners as we end this crazy 2020 season of baseball and head into the offseason, which will have its own drama with a CBA on the horizon. No one has any money anymore and that sucks for multiple reasons. Crab People have invaded Chicago. Who ate my meatball? I'm gonna severely injure whoever did, that was MY MEATBALL!

The boys sat down with John Jakiemiec, the co-owner and manager for the DuPage Pistol Shrimp of the Prospect League. John teaches MIchael & Tyler what the Pistol Shrimp are really about, AND we get to know a bit more about the exciting world of Prospect League baseball!

We are two episodes away from the greatest number to ever exist ever, so fittingly both Tyler and Michael will do what they normally do: play and lose at basketball against a golden retriever for a Disney Channel Original Movie. How do these things relate to number 67? Don't ask questions that we don't know the answer to. We've received breaking news from the world of baseball: the Astros are still absolute trash. Umpires make us angry, many home run records have been broken, a Will Smith not from a town called Bel-Air mashed some baseballs, and a bunch of other baseball things that you may or may not enjoy depending on your fandom or your star alignment or something. Y'all remember when Chevy Chase wasn't racist? Good times.

For episode 66 of this deliciously amazing podcast surrounding the game of base where people play ball, Tyler's had it with the terrible, horrible, no goodery of Bonnie and Clyde, so he's becoming a federal marshall to hunt those outlaws down. Meanwhile, Michael has taken all the naps and will be returning for more slumper after the recording of this episode. In the world of baseball, yeah the playoffs are going on but holy shit there was so much other shit from September the guys had to cover that they made it into a whole separate episode: this one. Yuli Gurriel is a racist pineapple headed man. What the hell is wrong with Joe West? That's not a joke, we're genuinely curious. I need a beer.

For this episode of the greatest baseball podcast west of the mighty Mississippi River, Michael and Tyler venture where no sane man has gone before: Ohio (as you can guess, Michael is not sane so he's already been there before). While in this magical and fairytale land, which they don't find out until later isn't actually Ohio but instead their own homes, Tyler becomes a gleeful bard that entertains the entire court while Michael disappears for months at a time, claiming to be at work but we all know he's actually binge watching the Adam West Batman series on his recently installed smart fridge. In the baseball world, the playoffs have started, and the guys give their predictions on who they think will be making it through the first round as well as winning the World Series. Just in case you forgot: the Astros are still a horrible, no good sporting organization.

Yeah yeah yeah you know by now that this is a description for this brand new Nintendo 64 episode of The Squeeze, but do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Tyler knows, but he won't tell Michael because Michael needs it for the dangerous Destroy-The-Cubs-Inator he's been inventing. For some reason, the San Diego Padres are hitting all of the Grand Slams and making all the trades that would normally occur in a 162 game season all by themselves, and the New York Yankees are buying large quantities of bandages and gauze because literally everyone on their team has decided to get hurt. The bois decide to go over who they believe are the best Angels of all time, and we're not talking Jesus ones (although a magical book from Utah tells me those are important, too). Jose Abreu can hit some dingers, and his teammate Lucas Giolito can throw some baseballs. Civil change and justice is super duper important. Also _____.

For this amazingly awesome episode of The Squeeze, Tyler faces off against Dwayne The Rock Johnson at Wrestlemania while Michael literally does nothing because this is the last chance he's going to be able to with the Cardinals' updated COVID schedule. Speaking of the Cardinals, they get to return to playing baseball (finally), meanwhile the Reds come down with the COVID bug. There's a whole lot more controversial stuff happening with pitchers on the Indians and old people are getting angry over young baseball players doing awesome stuff. Mookie Betts, Mike Trout, and Fernando Tatis Jr are literally doing everything this year, and the Dodgers are doing good things, plus they have a good baseball team. Don't say mean things with a mic next to your face. Also Juan Soto.

For this episode of the Squeeze, where the episode number is representative of the number of missed strike calls Angel Hernandez makes in one at bat, Tyler opens a best selling Asian Fusion restaurant where the customers get free gold plated corn dogs with every purchase while Michael reveals that he's been accepted to work on Dr. House's medical team as an expert on perineum related injuries. This episode might as well just be the What The Fuck Is This Shit episode, because there's so much going on with baseball that makes us angry or confused. COVID-19 continues to mess everything up everywhere, a lot of pitchers are getting hurt as well as Giancarlo Stanton, and, just to restate this fact, Angel Hernandez is a horrible, terrible, super bad umpire. Also Michael is Library Karen.

For this prime numbered episode of the Squeeze, Tyler decides to abandon his life long dreams of being an animal photographer to pursue other interests in the aquatic basket weaving world while Michael goes on the hunt for his missing wisdom teeth that were stolen by an angry and vengeful witch doctor. For the baseball stuff, Mookie Betts is at the forefront of some crazy money stuff, Black Lives Matter is an important topic throughout the world, Opening Day happened (as did Joe Kelly), and COVID-19 is ravaging baseball in a super not cool way. The Royals get some love for the first time since 2015 as well. Also Patrick Mahomes.

In this senior citizen discount episode, Tyler recites “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General” while rollerblading across a pit of snakes as Michael channels his inner Fonz and jumps a shark on vibranium-plated water skis that Iron Man gave him. In baseball news, the boys talk about Buster Posey and Aroldis Chapman, as well as Ken Griffey Jr. having an awesome documentary made about him. Seattle gets a lot of shout outs because of their overabundance of rain, coffee, and their good baseball players. Barstool also is mentioned, but not for pizza review related reasons. Also Canada.

In this quick episode of The Squeeze, Tyler realizes the true meaning of friendship while Michael searches for the Fountain of Youth. All of this takes place inside of a closet in which Tom Cruise is hiding in, and our enchantingly handsome hosts discuss philosophy and literature of the Ancient Greeks, plus some baseball stuff. Canada is mentioned, which is nice, as are the Mets, which aren't as nice. Oh and baseball is back btw forgot to mention that part.

On this super exercise sweaty and baseball sunburnt episode, Tyler and Michael talk about the latest and hopefully greatest new negotiations between the MLB and player's association, they give their opinions on Albert Pujols being an overall good person, broaden their knowledge on a new signing by the Mets with some political ties, and decide that talking about the Pirates for an extended period of time will make quality content. Tyler hit a dinger with a broken wood bat. Also Shania Twain.

Things get REALLY weird in this one... jkjk. Michael & Tyler give an update on the most recent negotiations between the league and players union to bring back baseball. The boys give an in-depth recap on this year's first round draft picks as well as their all-time Rockies lineups!

Tyler and Michael team up with Dani from Dani's dugout and give you their all time Yankees lineups, and things get more fun from there when they talk about the new proposals for playing in the age of COVID. Also Michael is Italian.

On Episode 55 of The Squeeze, Michael & Tyler discuss the ongoing negotiations between the MLBPA and the League Office on whether or not we'll have baseball in 2020. They introduce a new segment and give you their all-time Blue Jays Rosters!

The boys discuss the most recent development relating to baseball's return: possible pay cuts for players. Michael & Tyler give you their take on the new shortened MLB amateur draft as well as the amazement that is KBO baseball.

Hey we recorded this like a month ago and I thought I uploaded it but I did not because I suck. So, here ya go.

On Episode 52 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, Michael & Tyler discuss updates to the Phillie Phanatic lawsuit, Astros hate, Spring Training highlights and so much more! (Also this was recorded before the season was suspended due to Coronavirus).

On Episode 51 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, Michael & Tyler discuss the jolly good time the Astros are having during Spring Training! Additionally, they discuss the ridiculous MLB blackouts courtesy of Sinclair Broadcast group. The boys give you a rundown of this week's injury report, talk some extensions, and give you their LONG AWAITED GM Plans for the DBacks & Marlins!

On Episode 50 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, Michael & Tyler continue to beat the dead horse known as the Houston Astros. The boys discuss Manfred's comments regarding the cheating scandal along with a few other controversies. They geek over the start of Spring Training games and pay homage to some of the most talented and influential African-American baseball players of all time!

On Episode 49 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, the boys talk about the MLB Clown… Commissioner Rob Manfred, and his weak punishments for the Astros and the delayed punishments for the Red Sox. Michael & Tyler also discuss the latest trades, extensions, and signings surrounding baseball. They discuss Jessica Mendoza's departure from the Mets as well as the latest injury report!

On Episode 48 of The Squeeze, Michael & Tyler go bonkers over the four-team Mookie Betts trade! They also talk about Pete Rose's recent plea to be removed from the MLB's ineligible list. The boys also discuss other trades, extensions, and possible offseason moves!

On Episode 47 of The Squeeze the boys probably talk about baseball. Odds are Michael poops his pants halfway through and Tyler gets mad about the Astros. I think Anna was on this episode too. All the classics are on this one... maybe? Michael & Tyler yell about baseball and pray to Bartolo or some shit.

On the Squeeze's first episode of 2020, the boys dive right into Manfred's ruling on the Astros' cheating scandal and discuss whether or not the punishment was harsh enough. Michael & Tyler delve into possible landing spots for the remaining big-name free agents and talk about some of last decades best players!

On Episode 44 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, The boys talk about the EXTREMELY HOT hot stove and give you another round of GM plans!

On a very special holiday episode of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, the boys have on two very special guests, STLSportsCentral & The Gateway Grinders! They all catch up and talk about the last year of St. Louis sports, go over the latest and greatest MLB news, and... give you THEIR St. Louis Cardinals GM Plans!

On Episode 43 of The Squeeze, Michael & Tyler explode due to the Winter Meetings madness. They gossip over Gerrit Cole heading to the Bronx and tell you all about all of the other big signings and trades! The boys also give you their new GM plans for the Athletics and Reds! Get the scoop on all of the latest and greatest MLB news on Episode 43 of The Squeeze!

On a very special, #42, PRE-THANKSGIVING, Jackie Robinson Tribute, Hall of Fame predictions episode of The Squeeze, the boys get wild! (I know the upload is late sue me) (not really). Michael & Tyler talk about the not super hot, hot stove. They give you their Hall of Fame ballots as well as make a tribute to the man, the myth, the legend, Jackie Robinson!

On Episode 41 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, Michael & Tyler talk about MORE of the drama surrounding the Astros' sign-stealing scandal. The boys dive headfirst into the hot stove and discuss the qualifying offers and FA signings from the first few weeks of the offseason. They also give you their General Manager plans for the Mets & Mariners!

On Episode 40 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, the boys rip into the cheating, scummy, dirty, no good, Houston Astros and their sign-stealing scandal. Michael & Tyler go over the end of season awards. They also mill over some of the biggest free-agent rumors and FINALLY give you their All-Time All-Star Team! Check it out on Episode 40 of The Squeeze!

On Episode 39 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, the Hot Stove is heating up! The boys answer a bunch of fan questions and mill over some trade rumors. They give you their top ten baseball movies of all time and talk about Judge Judy's booty!

On a very special 2-HOUR WORLD SERIES RECAP/COMEBACK SPECIAL... MICHAEL AND TYLER GET INTENSE! The boys talk about all of the hirings and firings going on in the MLB. They light the proverbial hot-stove and mill over some of the latest offseason trade rumors! Michael & Tyler have an in-depth conversation on race in American youth sports. To round it out the guys give Gold Glove winners and their postseason recap!

Get ready for the most professional and most well-prepared for episode of The Squeeze to date! Michael & Tyler discuss the Yankees slaughter of the Twins in the ALDS as well as the wrapping up of both NLDS series! If you came for our regularly scheduled segments you will be… thoroughly disappointed. BUT! We also give our 2019 Gold Glove picks! You probably won't want to miss it!

Episode 35 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast is a DOOZY. The boys talk about all of the MLB Wildcard madness! They also go down the injury report & tell you about their playoff push teams. They give you their BEST RELIEVERS OF ALL TIME and have a fun playoff bet to boot!

On Episode 34 of The Squeeze Baseball Podcast, Michael & Tyler talk about the upcoming playoff run and everyone who has clinched or is close to clinching. The boys discuss the firing of Andy Green and possible replacements in San Diego. They go in-depth with their postseason push teams and give you some WILD hypotheticals!