You Can’t Do That is a podcast about hockey from four women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and wh…
The You Can't Do That podcast is a refreshing and entertaining take on hockey media. The hosts, Eva, Kelly, and Rave, bring a unique perspective to the sport through their discussions of vibes, astrology, and the homoerotic friendships between players. As a listener who is not even primarily a fan of the Washington Capitals (LGRW!), I have been drawn in by their silly and lighthearted approach to the game. This podcast has introduced me to new words like "elan," "inchoate," and "antediluvian," while also providing insight into hockey terms such as backcheck.
The best aspects of this podcast are the relatable and humorous nature of the hosts. They create a sense of community for fans who may feel isolated or misunderstood in their love for hockey. Through their conversations about players, teams, and moments in the sport, they make listeners feel seen and heard. Additionally, they provide educational content for new fans like myself by delving into real hockey issues such as identifying which players are cats or dogs or discussing obscure ways to die in the Victorian era. Overall, this podcast brings joy and laughter to its listeners while sharing their passion for hockey.
While there may not be many negatives to this podcast, one potential downside could be its heavy focus on the Washington Capitals. As someone who supports another team, it can sometimes feel less relatable when they dive deep into Capitals-specific topics. However, this aspect does not detract significantly from the overall enjoyment of the podcast.
In conclusion, The You Can't Do That podcast is a must-listen for anyone looking for comedic hockey content with a unique twist. It brings together an incredible trio of hosts who share their love for the sport in an entertaining and relatable way. Whether you're a die-hard fan or just getting into hockey like myself, this podcast will make you laugh out loud and leave you wanting more episodes. Give it a listen and join the hockey coven for an enjoyable and enlightening experience.
"The art of deception and pageantry." Round 1? She's done. Finished. Eva, Kelly, and Rave bid the eliminated teams a respectful farewell, weigh in on various and sundry shenanigans that occurred throughout, and look Round 2 right in the eye. Plus: The only person more desperate than Jim Rutherford to talk aloud in public about the Canucks right now is Kelly lol. This episode was recorded on May 5, 2025. Timecodes: (3:22) Caps vs. Habs | (26:59) Stars vs. Avs | (38:16) Oilers vs. Kings | (41:23) Golden Knights vs. Wild | (45:48) Canes vs. Devs | (50:08) Panthers vs. Bolts | (55:28) Maple Leafs vs. Sens | (1:00:23) Jets vs. Blues | (1:07:38) Looking ahead to Round 2 | (1:21:07) Kelly's Canucks CornerBuy merch!Support us on Patreon!
"They stupidassbitch'd this." IT'S PLAYOFFS TIIIIIIME and Kelly, Eva, and Rave are doing FINE! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! This one's a little all over the place as we check in on the Caps vs. the ghosts of 2010, the ongoing failures of the Vancouver Canucks, the triumphant return of Gabe Landeskog, our end-of-season awards recipients, and much much more. This episode was recorded on April 19, 2025. Timecodes: (4:37) Caps chat | (35:00) Our end-of-season awards | (41:28) The Canucks | (53:00) Son of Brind'amour | (58:00) Gabe's back, but will Nicke ever be?! | (1:08:49) Playoffs previewBuy merch! Support us on Patreon!
"Euthanasia like a horse." We weren't supposed to record this week but, welp, he did it. By "he," we mean Ovi. And by "it," we mean "Finally killed W*yne Gr*tzky." Sorry to that old man. This very special episode was recorded on April 8, 2025.Timecodes: (6:55) Goal #894 | (18:22) Goal #895Buy merch!Support us on Patreon!
"Taste that pit." Eva checks in with Kelly and Rave about the latest in the world of the Washington Capitals, including some clever losses, some new Chychrun wellness theories, Protas ascendency, the signing of a new boy, and the return of a beloved color commenter. Plus: The Old Slut Playoffs and a farewell to Torts. This episode was recorded on March 31, 2025. Timecodes: (2:29) Nominative Determinism | (9:55) Caps chat | (50:23) Elsewhere in the NHL Buy merch!Support us on Patreon!
"Team breakfasts won't save you." This season's trade deadline really insisted upon itself, you know? Kelly, Rave, and Eva take a look at the goings-on to sort the Goofuses (Mikko to DAL, Brad to FLA, Rick Tocchet generally) from the Gallants (Fleury vs. Pens, Bedard vs. refs, the Capitals generally). This episode was recorded on March 17, 2025.Timecodes: (2:40) Fight Songs | (11:16) Trade deadline | (14:12) Mikko Rantanan | (19:55) The Canucks | (34:49) Brad Marchand | (53:25) Erik Johnson | (56:37) Caps chat | (1:50:20) Fleury vs. the Pens | (1:16:50) Connor Bedard vs. the refs Buy merch here! Support us on Patreon here!
“He's a soup combo for sure." This podcast has been marked safe from being scored on by Alex Ovechkin! But hopefully not for long. Kelly, Rave, and Eva check in on the Caps' mAgiCaL cHemIsTrY, the poetry of the Gr8 Chase, the power of the Flyer's Last Supper, the darksided energy of Connor McDavid's McNightmare, and the Canucks' various missteps. This episode was recorded on March 2, 2025.Timecodes: (3:42) Boybanding | (23:32) Caps chat | (42:53) Elsewhere in the NHLBuy merch here!Support us on Patreon here!
"I've seen that vest before." Have y'all heard about this Four Nations Face-Off thing? Rave, Eva, and Kelly tried to ignore it like its organizers ignored the Washington Capitals, but we should've known there'd be too much silliness for your hosts to avoid having opinions about for long. This episode was recorded on February 17, 2025.Timecodes: (4:29) Please Enjoy All Hockeys Equally [aka Severance Music] | (14:17) Caps chat | (35:44) This week in Four Nations | (51:32) Kelly's Canucks CornerBuy merch here! And/or support us on Patreon here!
"Confuses the eye and the mind." Our wonderful Kelly is ill, which means the loons are in charge of the asylum over here. Rave and Eva discuss the Capitals' agape love and nachos on ice, then weigh in on the Avs sending Mikko away (and freeing Taylor Hall in the process); the Canucks sending JT to hell; the Flyers sending those children to Calgary; and - dun dun DUNNN - the return of T*ny D*angelo to the NHL. Sigh.This episode was recorded on February 2, 2025.Timecodes: (4:31) How To??? | (21:47) Caps chat | (48:47) Elsewhere in the NHL"
"No object permanence." In honor of YCDT's overlapping 200th episode and 7th anniversary milestones, Producer Danielle leads Kelly, Eva, Rave, and Producer Laura through a retrospective of pod moments past. In honor of YCDT's overlapping 200th episode and 7th anniversary milestones, Producer Danielle leads Kelly, Eva, Rave, and Producer Laura through a retrospective of pod moments past. Thank you for listening for all these years!!This episode was recorded on January 12, 2025.Timecodes: (1:40) Who Said That?? | (34:45) Special Requests
"Consulting lesbian." IT'S OUR 200th EPISODE but we'll celebrate that milestone later. Right now Kelly has to lead Eva and Rave on a tour of NHL locker rooms to assess the wide range of conflicts blessing and/or haunting teams at the midpoint of the season, including PLD vs. the world, Pasta vs. Marchand, Miller vs. Pettersson, the Flyers vs. a child, and the Rangers (and this podcast) vs. Peter The Violet. This episode was recorded on January 12, 2025.Timecodes: (2:19) What Is WRONG With You | (21:47) Everything else
"Oozing with culture." If our admittedly shoddy record-keeping is to be believed, the Capitals haven't embarrassed themselves since they lost to the Sharks on Pride Night - and even that was kinda worth it. Rave, Kelly, and Eva grapple with this new version of the Caps that's horny as ever and somehow also…good? At…hockey. Also on the docket: the Rangers' slow death, Matvei's Michigan, and that whole thing with Paul Bissonnette. This episode was recorded on December 15, 2024. Timecodes: (3:05) '30s Ornithology | (11:50) Caps chat | (52:47) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:15:08) Paul Bissonnette's Big Night
"Alfredo caulk." Whew, busy couple weeks, huh? Join Eva, Rave, and Kelly to check in on the Caps' increasingly not-bad play, Ovi's fibula, THE RETURN OF LARS ELLER!, hot witch Sid, Jumbo Joe's jersey retirement, Jonathan Toews' toxins, and, yes, sorry: Mats Zuccarello's balls. This episode was recorded on November 24, 2024.Support the pod: Get bonus content on Patreon @patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find us on TikTok @youcantdohockey and Twitter @youcantdohockeyTimecodes: (3:20) Petfinder | (7:40) Caps chat | (31:35) Elsewhere in the NHL
"Sauna." Kelly, Rave, Eva, and all our favorite guys are settling in to this hockey season. Let's check in! Whomst of our Capitals is fueled by spite? Which hot old man is least likely to leave his cozy nest? Which coach is lie-truthing, and which one is truth-lying? Who is farming our engagement? And what the HELL is the Phenomenotter googling over there?? This episode was recorded on November 10, 2024.Support the pod: Get bonus content on Patreon @patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find us on TikTok @youcantdohockey and Twitter @youcantdohockeyTimecodes: (3:59) Assign The Amulet | (6:10) Caps (and Pens) chat | (35:21) Elsewhere in the NHL | (50:33) Kelly's Canucks Corner
"Sportsbetting dot org dot gov." The Caps were winning games for a minute there and Rave, Eva, and Kelly found it unsettling. Thankfully, the Pens' suffering, the Canucks' neuroses, the league's Halloween costumes, and the anti-5G armor of one particular Toronto Maple Leaf kept us tethered to reality. This episode was recorded on October 27, 2024.Support the pod: Get bonus content on Patreon @patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find us on TikTok @youcantdohockey and Twitter @youcantdohockeyTimecodes: (3:06) Pop (Girlies) Quiz correction | (10:50) Caps chat | (39:28) Pesto's Penguins Pit | (50:59) Kelly's Canucks Corner | (1:03:44) Halloween | (1:07:15) The Amulet
"Who's where??" Eva, Kelly, and Rave are BACK, baby. Get ready for everything that entails: sighing with fond exasperation at the Washington Capitals; forgetting teams and players we've absolutely discussed before; prodding marketing material and astrological charts for signs of depth; and, occasionally, talkin' 'bout hockey. This episode was recorded on October 14, 2024. Support the pod: Get bonus content on Patreon @patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find us on TikTok @youcantdohockey and Twitter @youcantdohockeyTimecodes: (2:43) Pop (Girlies) Quiz | (16:33) Caps chat | (46:30) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:12:43) KHL Kuzy update
Pod's back this week for our EIGHTH season of NHL hockey. Sorry! You're welcome!
"Spiritual divorce." Lord Stanley has chosen his babies of the year, and gosh if your hosts didn't just delight in the adventure to get here. Eva, Rave, and Kelly reflect on the accuracy of our pre-finals tarot reading, celebrate the satisfying plot developments in the narratives of Mssrs. Tkachuck and McDavid, crown their own playoffs Super Freak, gut check changes to the Caps roster (and to CapFriendly's public access), and more in this, our supersized final episode of the '23-'24 NHL season. This episode was recorded on July 4, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:57) Stanley Cup Finals | (18:08) Conn Smythe Winner Connor McDavid | (34:46) Celebrating Florida Style | (58:30) Trades! | (1:14:22) Capfriendly Update | (1:23:29) Miscellaneous Hockey Stuff
"Not on OUR part of the internet." Rave, Eva, and Kelly did not necessarily predict this Stanley Cup finals matchup, but one must admit there is something satisfyingly YCDT-coded about its hashtag narratives. Join us as we check in on DILF softball in DC, eulogize our fallen Stars/Rangers, and ask the tarot cards what to expect in the final round. This episode was recorded on June 2, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (4:55) DILF Island Softball | (14:33) Goodbye, Rangers | (25:11) Goodbye, Stars | (44:09) Panthers vs. Oilers
"Make my doodle look butch." Kelly, Rave, and Eva are back with Round 2 thoughts as the playoffs continue to dazzle and delight, and, in the case of one team in particular, cause Kelly great mental anguish. Press play for the league's most compelling gay fox-dog, community reffing, NateMac's hostile takeover of Sidney Crosby's summer house, and the unexpected silver lining of the Rangers' success. This episode was recorded on May 19, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (5:19) Rangers vs. Hurricanes | (21:49) Panthers vs. Bruins | (32:41) Stars vs. Avalanche | (44:40) Oilers vs. Canucks | (54:56) Let's complain about refs!
"A pious suitor for my eldest daughter." This is an episode filled with evil laughter, but to be fair to Eva, Kelly, and Rave, there are quite a lot of things worth laughing evilly about as the playoffs move into the second round. Points of interest include Kuzy's perpetual-motion hate machine, the battle of the Florida Mans, and the phrase "Sean Cody's little rascals." This episode was recorded on May 5, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:32) Inspire Me, Bro | (10:19 Capitals vs. Rangers | (20:52) Hurricanes vs. Islanders | (30:43) Panthers vs. Lightning | (37:59) Maple Leafs vs. Bruins | (1:00:10) Jets vs. Avalanche | (1:03:20) Golden Knights vs. Stars | (1:07:02) Oilers vs. Kings | (1:08:35) Canucks vs. Predators
"The pathos is upped." Check in on the playoffs' first round with Kelly, Eva, and Rave! Lots to contend with so far, including Kuzy gaslighting the Canes with a veneer of respectability, Caps messiness (fond), Canucks messiness (anxious), and sweet Mitchell Marner's exquisite suffering. This episode was recorded on April 27, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:12) Hurricanes vs. Islanders | (15:11) Golden Knights vs. Stars | (18:24) Capitals vs. Rangers | (28:42) Maple Leafs vs. Bruins | (42:56) Canucks vs. Predators | (52:12) Oilers vs. Kings | (53:23) Jets vs. Avalanche
It's the return of a YCDT tradition: Rave, Eva, and Kelly assess the Stanley Cup Playoffs round one matchups to determine the non-hockey games these teams should actually be playing based on their shared auras, histories, and hopes. To hear the rest of this bonus segment, support us on Patreon!
"Wienerpeg our way to the top." The Caps are teetering on the precipice of doing something SO hilarious. You may listen to this episode after their fate has been sealed - if so, please enjoy this snapshot of Eva, Rave, and Kelly's mental and emotional state in the before times. Also on the ol' outline this week: uncrunchable Nicke, calm collected Cooley, the Yotes' no good very bad ownership, and an ode to scholar-author Lexi LaFleur Brown. This episode was recorded on April 14, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (1:56) Bad Apples | (11:48) Caps chat | (48:38) Elsewhere in the NHL
"He meant what he yelled." Our Washington Capitals remain too stupid to realize that they are dead and Kelly, Rave, and Eva are delighted! What a time we're all having! Topics for discussion include TJ's 1000th, the Pens' existential dread, Kuzy's new nest, Torts' hissy fit, the Larkin-less Red Wings, and a funky little Pittsburgh mystery. This episode was recorded on March 17, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:05) League Library | (17:05) Elsewhere in the NHL
"Who to the core." Much occurred while this pod was fighting off illness, so Rave, Kelly, and Eva roll up their sleeves to tackle an agenda that includes the half-life of cocaine, Ted's big fail, Auston's golf...pod?, the Tampa yakuza, and the brief but appreciated heroism of Anthony Manthony. And in the distance, the trade deadline looms...This episode was recorded on March 3, 2024. Further reading: ”Team Turmoil: A Mystery Owner, Squabbling Management, A Nine-figure Debt And A Rotten Record Have Put The Tampa Bay Lightning, Probably The Worst-run Franchise In Sports, On The Brink Of Ruin” by Lester Munson for Sports Illustrated, March 1998Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:11) Good Art vs. Bad Art | (11:03) Caps chat | (43:26) Elsewhere in the NHL
"We have sparkling water money on the line." There's a lot about this year's All Star weekend for Eva, Kelly, and Rave to analyze, including Brock Boeser's "Favorite Boy" award, Kuch's boos, Michael Buble's drug experience, and...those player portraits. You know the ones. Also: Ovi's got his groove back; odes to discontinued jerseys; and an update from Kelly's Canucks corner. This episode was recorded on February 11, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:57) Bug Fixes | (10:10) All Star weekend | (46:01) Caps chat | (1:03:15) Elsewhere in the NHL
"The Amazing...Unlawful Confinement." Did you know that like our Washington Capitals, YCDT has a fun little freak tunnel of our own? Kelly, Eva, and Rave are having a grand ol' time in there. Coaching trends are getting analyzed, forcibly-separated bonded pairs are being mourned, improvements to the All Star Game are being suggested (AGAIN. FOREVER). Come hang in the freak tunnel with us!! This episode was recorded on January 18, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (4:05) HIRE US, NHL ALL-STAR GAME | (18:49) Elsewhere in the NHL
"It's bad pedagogy." It's a new year! But like the Washington Capitals, this pod is back on its traditional and beloved bullshit. And we've lots to discuss, including Ethan Bear, the Pens-Caps nursing home derby, leech fears, the return of Dima, hot mic vendettas, broken jaws, classiness, and whether or not we want Dylan Strome to face Connor McDavid at the ASG in front of god and everyone so we can study his micro-expressions in gif form. (Opinion is, in fact, divided.) This episode was recorded on January 7, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:46) Matchmaker | (14:26) Caps chat |(49:10) Elsewhere in the NHL
"No more Kuzy sauce in the pasta room." The Caps are frolicking through this season with a buoyancy that Eva, Rave, and Kelly cannot help but be charmed by: Kuzy sauce? Tom trick? Dallas slut-ery?? C'mon, we're only human. Also on the agenda: hunting for Bear, Jacob Trouba's artistic explorations, Chicago and Detroit warring for Eva's heart, Rod's angry Bod, the Flyers renaissance, and MONEY MONEY MONEY. And WAGs. This episode was recorded on December 10, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:19) He Got That Horse In Him | (8:08) Caps chat | (34:33) Elsewhere in the NHL | (47:26) WAGs sidebar | (57:25) Elsewhere, continued
"Put a bag over your birdcage." Critical questions for Kelly, Rave, and Eva this week: Who's the Selling Sunset and who's the Prison Break? Who's the Patrik Laine and who's the Taylor Hall? Who's getting his biceps squeezed on Swedish TV and who's remaking his struggling professional organization in his image? And do you think Sid & Ovi saved hockey or are you WRONG? This episode was recorded on November 26, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:26) Over the River & Thru the Woods | (15:33) Sid & Ovi saved hockey, actually | (22:07) Caps chat | (33:09) Elsewhere in the NHL
"All my life to game." On the emotional scale of Canadian hockey teams, how are YOU doing? Because Nicklas Bäckström is "stepping away from the game" so Rave, Kelly, and Eva aren't great!! At least we have Capitals' Halloween costumes, a Sharks win, and Sabres Speed Dating to soothe us. This episode was recorded on November 12, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:58) Am I The Asshole? | (13:45) Caps chat | (45:53) Elsewhere in the NHL
"He does not. Give. One. Hell." Eva, Kelly, and Rave are shocked - SHOCKED! To discover there's GAMBLING going on in this hockey establishment! This week they're checking in on the latest from Ottawa, observing the Dylan Strome of it all in Washington and the Connor Bedard-ing in Chicago, bidding a fond farewell to Jumbo Joe, and scolding the league YET AGAIN for writing dry-erase checks it can't cash. This episode was recorded on October 29, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:16) Mascot-ween | (9:49) Caps chat | (32:00) Elsewhere in the NHL | (58:10) Kelly's Canucks Corner feat. the Oilers
"That gyre is gonna f*ckin' widen, baby." The NHL banned rainbow stick tape celebrations of LGBTQ+ support, but as usual, the joke's on the league because this pod's gay little hands are all over this sport and will be forever. Kelly, Rave, and Eva weigh in on that nonsense, plus a fun and flirty week of good, bad, and unimportant hockey from the Pens, Canucks, and Caps, respectively. This episode was recorded on October 15, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (4:02) Couples Costumes | (13:10) Pride tape discussion | (19:03) Caps chat | (26:33) Elsewhere in the NHL
"There's something delightful about a rat boy forcing your hand." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are sooooo back, and with quite a summer to recap, from Kuzy's unfiltered interview to Mark Badcop's blessedly brief time as CBJ coach and the return of both spite-fueled Nicke and noted Sidney Crosby fan Evgeni Malkin. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:45) (All) Star Dew Valley | (11:10) Caps summer recap | (45:40) NHL summer recap
"They're both sans serif." That's a wrap on the '22-'23 NHL season! While our preferred goobers may not have won, Kelly, Eva, and Rave have room in their hearts for some Vegas narratives, too. Plus: Checking in on terrible coaches, fractured locker rooms, Kyle, and our babiest baby's new baby on board. This episode was recorded on June 18, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:59) Guess Who? | (11:15) The Stanley Cup Final | (41:44) PLD and the Jets | (48:19) Darryl Sutter and the Flames | (59:35) Mike Babcock and the Blue Jackets | (1:07:11) Elsewhere in the NHL: Canucks, Leafs, Kyle, Caps
"The burden of c*nt to serve." Climb in the Little Stuart car with Eva, Rave, and Kelly for a lightly belated check-in on two rounds of playoffs magic and NHL admin dumbassery featuring media darling Matthew Tkachuk, super-loser Jamie Benn, seductress Sidney Crosby, the agony and ecstasy of Kyle Dubas, and oh so much more. This episode was recorded on May 29, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (5:40) HELLO POLICE???? | (15:10) Playoffs catch-up | (1:01:27) NHL admin changes
"It's mouth stuff." Round 1 was weird and fun as hell, but now we're heading into Round 2 of Stanley Cuppery with a set of teams that feel like mismatched gag gift shot glasses from the thrift shop. Please don't misunderstand: Rave, Eva, and Kelly are LOVING it. This episode was recorded on May 3, 2023.Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:12) Experience Cuppage | (12:24) Coaches corner | (24:00) Oilers/Golden Knights | (26:18) Kraken/Stars | (38:21) Leafs/Panthers | (1:01:19) Devils/Canes | (1:11:42) #ALLCAPS | (1:18:26) Coaches corner again | (1:22:06) Elsewhere in the NHL
"Quinn is for the she/hers." The Washington Capitals are officially out of this year's playoff race, lol. But so are the Pittsburgh Penguins! Thankfully, between the soap opera of these two miserable teams and the various comedies, dramas, and genre films that make up the Round 1 matchups, Kelly, Rave, and Eva have a whole Blockbuster's worth of DVDs to enjoy. This episode was recorded on April 16, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:09) Playoffs Mood Board | (20:32) #ALLCAPS | (40:51) YCDT Is A Pens Podcast | (1:01:29) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:17:33) Playoffs Predictions
"Wayne WHATsky?!" The only people cruising more calmly to the end of this NHL season than the reigning Bruins are Rave, Kelly, and Eva as the Capitals peter out like a womp-womp trombone. Better luck next year, babes! Let's check in on some of our other boys thriving in new markets and make fun of homophobic idiots instead! This episode was recorded on April 4, 2023.Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:00) Advise Me! | (5:38) #ALLCAPS | (11:21) Ex-Caps Corner | (39:32) Elsewhere in the NHL | (59:33) PRIDE DISCOURSE | (1:15:38) Boys Playing Games
"Kuzmas is the same." Can someone puhLEAZE tell the Washington Capitals to just stop already? Eva, Kelly, and Rave are tired of trying and we need a solution before these guys beat all odds and logic and wind up in the playoffs through some egregious twist of fate. Plus: Throw him in the Bin-nington; St. Louis Beans; and a visit from an old...well, maybe "friend" isn't the right word. This episode was recorded on March 19, 2023.Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:57) AI Mr. DJ | (10:49) #ALLCAPS | (31:54) Elsewhere in the NHL
"The sunk-JT fallacy." This year's trade deadline lasted several years and was chock full of dramas, from the lowbrow (New York Ranger Patrick Kane) to the high (farewell Dima and Garnet, our beloveds), so Kelly, Eva, and Rave spend a nice long time discussing everything. Plus: A thorough analysis of the sun/moon/rising signs of the league's top-line trios. This episode was recorded on March 5, 2023.Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:41) Linestrology | (34:27) #AllCAPS | (59:13) Elsewhere in the NHL
"He prestige'd us." Our Washington Capitals proved this week that while they're a bunch of good and handsome dads to their adorable children, they are perhaps slightly less good at playing professional hockey than they should be. Rave, Kelly, and Eva deal with that and weigh in on Tarasenko to NYR, Sid's first game misconduct, and a white blank Toews. This episode was recorded on February 19, 2023.Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:08) How Can Women Make Money? | (16:16) #ALLCAPS | (49:11) Elsewhere in the NHL
We thought it'd be a fun Valentine's treat to re-post an old Patreon bonus segment on the main feed today. This one is from way back in February 2020, if you can believe, and was originally described thusly: "Kelly, Eva, and Rave were really On One during the recording of this very silly Valentine's-themed game, but to be fair, so were the AI bots that designed the candy hearts whose messages your hosts are "Which hockey?"-ing." Enjoy!For more (and more recent) bonus games like this, support us on Patreon for just $3 per month!Producers' note: We trimmed the original intro and edited out a now-awkward line about Jerry from Netflix's Cheer. The rest is unchanged. Oh, and we also played this game in Ep #143: Crush You, Crumpets if you want to hang out for a while longer on memory lane.
"We stan a sopping queen." This season's All Star Weekend horseplay had the self awareness to situate itself in an unserious place (Florida) so Eva, Rave, and Kelly are more than happy to bestow upon it their equally unserious commentary. Also: Beau for Bo, the Alexander Semin jumpscare, and the most recent bout in the ongoing saga of Caps vs. Pens. This episode was recorded on February 5, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (03:18) Adoptability High | (09:31) Lately in the NHL | (40:08) All Star Weekend | (1:12:27) GET A JOB
"The Canadian patois." From Tumblr's infestation of unhinged porn bots to the utterly miserable treatment of our beloved Bruce Boudreau by the Vancouver Canucks, Kelly, Eva, and Rave are going through a lot right now. Commiserate with us! This episode was recorded on January 22, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (04:48) Porn Bot Bio Generator | (12:22) #ALLCAPS | (33:33) Canucks Corner | (56:53) Elsewhere in the NHL
"REEKS of Barzal." Eva, Kelly, and Rave welcome you to 2023 in all its cringe splendor! In addition to the Caps' week of foreplay leading up to Nicke and Tom's one-goal return game, we saw Trevor Zegras shoplifting sticks mid-shift, Jordan Eberle penning an earnest ode to Islanders hockey, AND the Bruins doing the absolute most for the Winter Classic. Can everyone please calm down. This episode was recorded on January 9, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (02:41) Arranged Marriage UK | (14:21) #ALLCAPS | (46:33) Elsewhere in the NHL
"Canadian Hogwarts. For clowns." A certain brick-shithouse-built Russian has been busy this month making history or whatever, so Eva, Rave, and Kelly are ready to wrap up 2022 with their own contributions to the hockey canon, namely: jokes, jabs, and japes. This episode was recorded on December 28, 2022.Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:46) We're All In Hell | (11:14) #ALLCAPS | (47:14) Elsewhere in the NHL
"...and a Ziploc full of old bones." It's the week before winter break. How you holdin' up? Kelly, Rave, and Eva check in on the near-dead Capitals, the actually dead Avs, the adventure-bound Wild, and our various plans and schemes to keep these NHLers entertained until the final bell rings to signal the start of vacay. Pray for us. This episode was recorded on December 11, 2022.. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (03:36) #ALLCAPS | (27:25) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:06:28) Winter Break
"Un-thwartable." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are hurtling headfirst toward the holiday season (read: acquainting themselves with this year's Goop Gift Guide). Plus: distinct kicking motions discourse, a whole week of Geno-versaries, and a reminder that we were HAPPY to let our baby goalies go, actually, because we LOVE them and wanted them to THRIVE. So. This episode was recorded on November 27, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (3:26) A Very Hockey Goopsmas | (21:57) #ALLCAPS | (57:01) Elsewhere in the NHL
"Go to therapy, Bowser." Our Washington Capitals are delivering comedy, tragedy, and injury, but hockey continues to be none of the screaming eagle's goddamn business. Also on Eva, Rave, and Kelly's docket this week: windbreakers, Dylan vs. Connor, the purple prose of Josh Yohe, and the hockey team of Genovia. This episode was recorded on November 17, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Bonus reading:Yohe: As the Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin rivalry nears its end, it still matters (The Athletic, November 2022) Timecodes: (03:47) T-Shirt Dress Up | (08:47) #ALLCAPS | (49:09) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:01:23) International Relations
"A middle school play called 'The Locker Room.'" Low expectations have the NHL standings looking like Opposite Day, but one thing Rave, Eva, and Kelly can depend on is applying astrological fixes to team morale problems. And maybe throwing in a lovable cranky iron man for good measure. This episode was recorded on October 30, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Bonus reading:How Phil Kessel - of all players - got to the brink of becoming the ironman (theScore, October 2022) Timecodes: (2:47) Who Is Good? | (13:22) #ALLCAPS | (37:05) Elsewhere in the NHL
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