Podcast appearances and mentions of kevin mcleod incompetech

(sorry i missed a couple of weeks - been crazy busy)   Quail Seed A timely tale of marketing and social networking. [Saki was often way ahead of his time!] Announcer - Jennifer Dixon Mr. Scarrick - John Lingard Jimmy - Will Watt Lucy - Tanja Milojevic [Lightning Bolt Theater] Boy - Reynaud LeBoeuf Man - Anthony D.P. Mann [Horror Etc.] Miss Fritten - Robyn Keyes Mrs. Greyes - Jennifer Dixon Mrs. Gordon - Judith Moore Gloria - Beverly Poole Other women - Julie Hoverson Music by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Picture by lucias_clay, found with help from Bill Jones.   Quail Seed Cast: Announcer Mr. Scarrick, shopkeeper Jimmy, Assistant Lucy, Jimmy's girl Boy Man/Beard Miss Fritten Mrs. Greyes Mrs. Gordon Miss Jones Miss Smith Gloria Mrs. Lipping   SAKI OPENING MUSIC SOUND      SHOP DOOR, BELL, FOOTSTEPS LUCY     Hello?  Helloooo? JIMMY     [close]  Morning, Lucy! LUCY     [startled gasp]  Jimmy! There you are.  Bit... empty in here, isn't it? JIMMY     [heavy sigh] A bit. LUCY     But where are all the Christmas shoppers? JIMMY     Shh!  Whatever you do, don't ask that in front of Mr. Scarrick.  You'll quite set him off.  LUCY     Oh! JIMMY     It's all right, he's out at the moment. LUCY     [impressed] He left you in charge? JIMMY     [heavy sigh, morose]  Only in the certainty that there won't be a stampede on our services. LUCY     That bad, eh? JIMMY     Quite. SOUND     DOOR, BELL, FOOTSTEPS Miss Smith     Hello? SOUND     QUICK STEPS JIMMY     Yes?  How may I assist you? Miss Smith     [nervous] Oh, I was -um- just looking for a railway timetable?  I'm going up to the city-- [breaks off] JIMMY     Sorry.  Clean out.  Perhaps next week. MISS Smith     Ah.  Thank you. SOUND     FOOTSTEPS, BELL DOOR LUCY     You might have made a sale! JIMMY     She just wanted to look. LUCY     You don't know that. JIMMY     [bitter admission] She's the fourth today.  Everyone would rather take the train to town and shop in a big department store than [quoting] bother to take advantage of the convenience-- SOUND     DOOR BELL MISS Jones     Hello? JIMMY     ...and that's five. MUSIC SOUND     PUB SCARRICK     The outlook is not encouraging for us smaller businesses. SOUND     POURING DRINK SCARRICK     These big concerns are offering all sorts of attractions to the shopping public which we couldn't afford to imitate, even on a small scale--reading-rooms and play-rooms and gramophones and Heaven knows what. BOY     [normal, commiserating] People like shiny objects. SCARRICK     And they don't care to buy half a pound of sugar nowadays unless they can listen to Harry Lauder and have the latest Australian cricket scores ticked off before their eyes. MAN     Seems like quite a trip for sugar. SCARRICK     With the big Christmas stock we've got in we ought to keep half a dozen assistants hard at work, but as it is my nephew Jimmy and myself can pretty well attend to it ourselves.  In fact, I've left him in charge.  I've never done that before. BOY     I'm sure he'll be fine. SCARRICK     [drinks] It's a nice stock of goods, too.  I could run it all off in a few weeks time, but there's no chance of that--not unless the London line was to get snowed up for a fortnight before Christmas. MAN     [musing] How you gonna keep them home on the farm? MUSIC SOUND     SHOP DOOR, BELL MRS. GREYES     --so tedious, but there it is, and what else is one to do? MISS FRITTEN     We shall simply wait for the next--  SCARRICK     May I help you ladies? MRS. GREYES     Oh!  [evasive] Really, we just stopped in to see about --- about-- MISS FRITTEN     Bootlaces.  MRS. GREYES     Bootlaces!  Yes!  I've been in dire need of some-- SCARRICK     [hearty] Of course.  Over on the left wall, near the back. MRS. GREYES     Of course.  [whispering]  You knew he'd try and sell us something if we came in here!  Bootlaces indeed.  I already have more laces than boots! MISS FRITTEN     At least if we do make a purchase, they're small enough to carry when we go to-- MRS. GREYES     Shh! SCARRICK     Finding everything? MRS. GREYES     Oh, yes.  This is the best ... um... anchovy paste.  Just what I was looking for. MISS FRITTEN     Just lovely! SCARRICK     Perhaps you ladies could help me.  I was thinking of adding a little entertainment to the shop. MRS. GREYES     Oh? SCARRICK     I did have a sort of idea of engaging Miss Luffcombe to give recitations during afternoons; she made a great hit at the Post Office entertainment with her rendering of 'Little Beatrice's Resolve'. MISS FRITTEN     [very uncertain] Oh, that would be ...just ... lovely. SOUND     DOOR OPENS, BELL RINGS ODDLY SCARRICK     What? SOUND     ODD FOOTSTEPS ENTER SCARRICK     [excusing himself] Your pardon. SOUND     SCARRICK GOES TO THE COUNTER MRS. GREYES     [whispered] Perhaps we should just do our shopping here. MISS FRITTEN     But I'm in my best hat! MRS. GREYES     Shh! Shh!  Look at that! MISS FRITTEN     What an odd looking boy.  Brown as a nut, but we've not had sun in weeks! MRS. GREYES     And those clothes.  Like something out of the Arabian nights! SOUND     CLANG BOY     [accented now] Six pomegranates, please, and a packet of quail seed. MISS FRITTEN     What's the bowl for? MRS. GREYES     To carry the pomegranates? MISS FRITTEN     Why not a string bag? MRS. GREYES     Allergies?  Shh! SCARRICK     [business as usual]   Here you are.  We have some lovely pomegranates. MISS FRITTEN     He doesn't even look surprised! MRS. GREYES     The boy must have been here before. SOUND     COIN SKITTERING, CAUGHT BOY     The wine and figs were not paid for yesterday.  Keep what is over of the money for our future purchases. SCARRICK     [formal and serious] As you wish.  SOUND     BOY LEAVES, DOOR SHUTS SOUND     SKITTERING OF LADIES FEET MISS FRITTEN     [to Scarrick, hinting] A very strange-looking boy? SCARRICK     [final]  A foreigner, I believe. MRS. GREYES     Does he shop here often?  Surely there can't be much call for ...quail seed... at this time of year. SCARRICK     It takes all sorts. SOUND     DOOR OPENS SOUND     HEAVY OMINOUS FOOTSTEPS MISS FRITTEN     [gasp] MRS. GREYES     Oh!  [covering her consternation]  Oh, I forgot those bootlaces!  [hissed] Come on! SOUND     THEY SKITTER AWAY MAN     [accented] I wish for a pound and a half of the best coffee you have. SCARRICK     [wary] Certainly sir. MRS. GREYES     Look at that beard! MISS FRITTEN     Like a comedy Russian. MRS. GREYES     No, more like an ancient Assyrian. MISS FRITTEN     Who do you think he is? MAN     [suspicious] Has a dark-faced boy been here buying pomegranates? SCARRICK     Can't say that I've seen anyone like that. MRS. GREYES     Oh!  [muffles self] MISS FRITTEN     [whispered]  How could he! SCARRICK     [offhanded] We have a few pomegranates in stock, but there has been no real demand for them. MAN     My servant will fetch the coffee as usual SOUND     COIN SKITTERS, HEAVY FEET START TO WALK AWAY, THEN STOP MAN     [very importantly] Have you, perhaps, any quail seed? GREYES AND FRITTEN [gasp] SCARRICK     [unhesitating] No.  we don't stock it. SOUND     FEET WALK AWAY MRS. GREYES     [whispered] What will he deny next? MISS FRITTEN     And I always believed Mr. Scarrick to be such a truthful man.  Heavens! He just presided at a lecture on Savonarola. SOUND     DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES MRS. GREYES     Don't let's bother about the 3.12.  Let's dash, and talk this out at Laura Lipping's MISS FRITTEN      Perhaps we should buy a few things first.  Since we're here. MUSIC SOUND     TEA MISS FRITTEN     [recounting lusciously] Turning up the deep astrakhan collar of his long coat, the stranger swept out of the shop, with the air of a Satrap proroguing a Sanhedrim. MRS. LIPPING     Do Satraps prorogue? MISS FRITTEN     [coldly superior] Have you ever seen one that didn't? GLORIA     I don't even know what a Sanhedrim is.  Is it a dance? MISS FRITTEN     It is a simile and hardly matters.  Or do I mean an allegory? MRS. GORDON     And the boy? MRS. GREYES     I should have though him Greek, but after seeing that beard-- MRS. LIPPING     They could have been unrelated. MISS FRITTEN     Unrelated?  And both asking for "quail seed"?  Mark my words.  There's something afoot. MRS. GREYES     What bothers me most is this unprecedented streak of falsity in our local grocer! GLORIA     I've never known Mr. Scarrick to prevaricate like that before! MRS. GREYES     It's the influence of that artist that took the flat above the shop.  Mark my words.  [importantly] Bohemian. MRS. GORDON     [tragically] I shall never again be able to believe what he tells me about the absence of colouring matter in the jam. MUSIC SOUND     DOOR, BELL SOUND     BROOM LUCY     Jimmy? JIMMY     Here. LUCY     Goodness, it looks like a tornado touched down. JIMMY     Fabulous, isn't it? LUCY     But, what happened? JIMMY     This afternoon, from tea onwards, we had a constant stream of shoppers.  LUCY     Is this something to do with the odd individuals who may or may not have been in this afternoon? JIMMY     [overly innocent] Whom do you refer to? LUCY     Come on!  It's all over town.  People talked about it at tea, and more people talked about it at supper.  I expect they're all talking about it over Bridge even as we speak.  The dark young man and the Beard.  JIMMY     Sounds a bit like a music hall act. LUCY     [speculatively] Yes... yes, it does.... MUSIC AMBIENCE     SHOP [MANY CUSTOMERS] MISS SMITH     Is this the freshest jar of pickles? JIMMY     Miss?  I suppose so. MISS SMITH     It looks a little dusty. JIMMY     That would be my fault-- SCARRICK     [commanding] Jimmy!     JIMMY     So sorry, must jump. MISS FRITTEN     [whispered]  Do you think they will return? MRS. GREYES     I have it on good authority someone's rented that house at the far end of Plummergen. MISS FRITTEN     But why should they come all this way to shop? MRS. GREYES     [knowing] Plummergen drapers don't stock quail seed.  MISS FRITTEN     [getting it] Ah! SOUND     REGISTER NOISE SCARRICK     That will be three shillings and four pence. SOUND     COINS MRS. LIPPING     I'm looking for something interesting for a savory.  Have you any-- SOUND     GENERAL HUSH MRS. LIPPING     [nervous] --any, um-- SCARRICK     [as if nothing is amiss]  I have some pickled olives.  Imported from turkey. MRS. LIPPING     Yes, anything. SOUND     JAR SET DOWN, CASH REGISTER SOUND     JABBER BEGINS AGAIN SOUND     DOOR OPENS, BELL, JABBER SLOWLY DIES AWAY. SILENCE SOUND     BOY WALKS IN. SOUND     BOWL SET DOWN. SCARRICK     [normal]  What can I get for you today? BOY     I require a pound of honey. SOUND     BREATH BEING LET OUT ALL OVER BOY     and - [quieter] and a packet of quail seed. SOUND     GENERAL INTAKE OF BREATH, GIGGLE QUICKLY MUFFLED SCARRICK     Very good, sir. SOUND     CONVERSATIONS, FORCED LAUGHTER, BUT MUTED, LISTENING MISS FRITTEN     [excited whisper] We might be living in the Arabian Nights. MRS. GREYES     Hush! Listen! SOUND     THINGS PLACED INTO BOWL, BOWL REMOVED, BOY STARTS TO LEAVE. SOUND     QUICK FOOTSTEPS JIMMY     [hurried, fraught with meaning] We have some very fine Jaffa oranges.  Around behind here. SOUND     QUICK SHUFFLE OF FEET SOUND     DOOR OPENS, MAN STRIDES IN. SOUND     GASPS SCARRICK     [unperturbed]  What may I get for you today, Sir? MAN     A pound of dates and a tin of the best Smyrna halva. MISS FRITTEN     Halva?  What is that? MRS. GREYES     It comes from Smyrna - that's figs, isn't it, Smyrna is? GLORIA     Who would want dates AND figs? MRS. LIPPING     Hush. SCARRICK     There you are.  MAN     hmm [evaluating noise]  Yes. SOUND     COINS DROPPED MAN     Has the dark-faced boy, of whom I spoke yesterday, been here to-day? GLORIA     [stifled squeak of excitement] SCARRICK     We've had rather more people than usual in the shop to-day... but I can't recall a boy such as you describe. SOUND     [gasps] MRS. GREYES     [satisfied] Didn't we say? MISS FRITTEN     It's too too terrible. MUSIC TEA MRS. GREYES     It is deplorable that anyone - particularly someone in a position such as Mr. Scarrick -should treat the truth as an article temporarily and excusably out of stock. MISS FRITTEN     More quail seed!  Those quails must be voracious!  [realizing]  or else... perhaps it isn't quail seed at all. MRS. GREYES     I believe it's opium, and the bearded man is a detective. MRS. LIPPING     I don't.  I'm sure it's something to do with the Portuguese Throne. MISS FRITTEN      More likely to be a Persian intrigue on behalf of the ex-Shah.  The bearded man belongs to the Government Party. The quail-seed is a countersign, of course; Persia is almost next door to Palestine, and quails come into the Old Testament, you know. GLORIA     [exasperated] Only as a miracle.  [knowing] I've thought all along it was part of a love intrigue. MRS. LIPPING     I distinctly saw a snarl of baffled rage as the man departed, sandwiched between that heavy moustache and upturned astrakhan collar. GLORIA     I can't imagine that that boy is the guilty party here.  Much more likely he's simply perishing of love for someone - perhaps the daughter of the beard, but the match is quite unsuitable-- MISS FRITTEN     Honey and pomegranates - of course!!! MUSIC SHOP, NIGHT, QUIET SOUND     DOOR, BELL JIMMY     [calling from off] Closed! LUCY     I know, mutton head. JIMMY     Oh, Lucy! SOUND     BROOM DOWN, STEPS LUCY     Another busy day? JIMMY     The busiest.  Another day or two of brisk trade and we'll be--[cut off with a gasp] SOUND     KISS LUCY     [laughing] I was here today, you know. JIMMY     [uneasy] Oh? LUCY     [indulgent] You were quite the hero.  Hustling that poor young man off behind the biscuit tins in the very nick of time. JIMMY     [flustered] Well, I have a good view of the street from my post at the cheese and bacon counter. LUCY     [pouty] Jimmy.  Have you EVER known me to gossip? JIMMY     You, Lucy?  I don't think so. LUCY     Quite a vote of confidence. JIMMY     I didn't mean that-- [sigh] No.  No I've never known you to gossip. LUCY     Let me in, then!  Perhaps there's something I can do to help? MUSIC PUB SCARRICK     It was quite marvelous!  And we sold out of that blasted Halva. MAN     It looked crowded, but were they actually buying? SCARRICK      They bought and bought - some came back three or four times, just to have an excuse to linger.  BOY     "Oh, I forgot" and "silly me, one more thing." SCARRICK     exactly.  Even those women whose purchases were of modest proportions dawdled over them as though they had, uh-- MAN     Brutal, drunken husbands to go home to? SCARRICK     [chuckles] I've even had to take on a couple of extra assistants for tomorrow. MUSIC STORE - BUSY MISS FRITTEN     What do you think?  Is this bowl anything like the one that young gentleman carries? MRS. GREYES     Nonsense.  His is brass.  Or bronze, perhaps.  That one is copper. MISS FRITTEN     Still, it's got a lovely patina. MRS GORDON     Ducks? SCARRICK     [distracted] Pardon? MRS GORDON     Ducks?  I found a lovely recipe for Bombay duck, and was wondering if a domestic duck would suffice. SCARRICK     I suspect that ducks are much the same the world over-- [small gasp] SOUND     DOOR OPENS, BELL GENERAL EXPECTANT HUSH MRS GORDON     oh! SCARRICK     You'll excuse me. SOUND     BOY'S FOOTSTEPS, SCARRICK MEETS HIM SCARRICK     Sir?  BOY     Yes? SCARRICK     [overtly confidential]  I must warn you-- SOUND     [gasps] SCARRICK     [as if saying something else] We have run out of quail seed. MRS GORDON     Oh nO! BOY     [shocked and disappointed] Oh.  I should-- I must-- SOUND     SCUTTLING FEET JIMMY     [excited]  We do have some much finer oranges today, if you want to step over here. BOY     [dramatic gasp] SOUND     BOY RUNS MISS FRITTEN     [whispered] Watch the door! SOUND     DOOR SLAMS OPEN, BELL SOUND     OMINOUS FOOTSTEPS MRS. GORDON      [voice over] I found my self sub-consciously repeating "The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold" under my breath. SCARRICK     [very tense]  Ah.  Coffee again today sir?  Perhaps figs? MAN     I am looking for-- LUCY     [in disguise, foreign sounding]  Jaffa oranges, I think. MAN     What? MRS GREYES     [voiceover] She slithered out of the aisle like the lady in the lake. LUCY     Your Excellency does his shopping himself? MAN     [suspicious] I order the things myself.  I find it difficult to make my servants understand. MISS FRITTEN     [voiceover]  How ever did we miss a mysterious veiled lady, right in the midst of us all? LUCY     I was saying... They have some excellent Jaffa oranges here.  [tinkling laugh] SOUND     HER FEET TAP AWAY TO THE DOOR, BELL MAN     [considering] Hmph.  MRS. GORDON     [gasp] MAN     You! SCARRICK     [tense] Yes? MAN     You have, perhaps, some good Jaffa oranges? GLORIA     [voiceover] Everyone expected an instant denial on the part of Mr. Scarrick of any such possession, but before he could answer‑‑ BOY     No! SOUND     RUNNING FEET, DOOR, BELL MISS FRITTEN     [voiceover] Holding his empty brass bowl before him he dashed into the street. His face was masked with studied indifference SOUND     THE VOICEOVERS START TO FADE INTO TEA MRS GREYES     Overspread with ghastly pallor! MRS. LIPPING     I would call it blazing with defiance. GLORIA     How defiant could he be!  He was so terrified his teeth chattered! MRS. GORDON     I distinctly heard him whistling the Persian National Hymn. MISS FRITTEN     But the bearded man - his face was a mask of abject terror! MRS GREYES     I thought he would dash out after the boy, but he just paced to and fro like a caged animal - seeking an outlet for escape. GLORIA     He couldn't take his eyes off the door. MRS GORDON     Did he ever come back for his purchases?  Or send his servant? MISS FRITTEN     I've not had the nerve to ask Mr. Scarrick.  The whole thing was so ...  overwhelming. MUSIC LUCY     It was so overwhelming.  Trying not to laugh while watching all their faces. JIMMY     You did a fabulous job. LUCY     You like me in a veil? JIMMY     I can think of a veil I'd like to see you in. LUCY     [interested, pleased] Really? JIMMY     Mm-hmm  [yes] SOUND     KISS MUSIC PUB SCARRICK     I can never thank you fellows enough. MAN     We enjoyed the fun of it.  [laughs, then  talks like beard]  And the figs. BOY     It was a welcome vacation from posing for hours for 'The Lost Hylas' MAN     You just have to sit still.  I'm the one who has to make you look good. SCARRICK     What do I owe you? MAN     No, no.  It was far too entertaining.  BOY     We did get all those lovely pomegranates. SCARRICK     At any rate... I insist on paying for the hire of the black beard. END

Adapted by Julie Hoverson from a story by Saki (H.H. Munro) When the Christmas rush takes shoppers off to the big city, how do you get them to stick to the local shops? A lovely tale of viral marketing! [Saki was often way ahead of his time!] Announcer - Jennifer Dixon Mr. Scarrick - John Lingard Jimmy - Will Watt Lucy - Tanja Milojevic [Lightning Bolt Theater] Boy - Reynaud LeBoeuf Man - Anthony D.P. Mann [Horror Etc.] Miss Fritten - Robyn Keyes Mrs. Greyes - Jennifer Dixon Mrs. Gordon - Judith Moore Gloria - Beverly Poole Other women - Julie Hoverson Sound and mastering by Julie Hoverson Music by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Picture by lucias_clay, found with help from Bill Jones. ************************************************ Quail Seed Cast: Announcer Scarrick, shopkeeper (M50s) Jimmy, Assistant (M20s) Lucy, Jimmy's girl (F20s) Boy (M20s) Man/Beard (M30s) Miss Fritten (F30s) Greyes (F30s) Gordon (F30s) Miss Jones (F30s) Miss Smith (F30s) Gloria (F20s) Lipping (F30s)   SAKI OPENING MUSIC   SCENE 1.    SCARRICK'S SUNDRIES (SHOP) SOUND     SHOP DOOR, BELL, FOOTSTEPS LUCY    Hello?  Helloooo? JIMMY    [close]  Morning, Lucy! LUCY    [startled gasp]  Jimmy! There you are.  Bit... empty in here, isn't it? JIMMY    [heavy sigh] A bit. LUCY    But where are all the Christmas shoppers? JIMMY    Shh!  Whatever you do, don't ask that in front of Mr. Scarrick.  You'll quite set him off.  LUCY    Oh! JIMMY    It's all right, he's out at the moment. LUCY    [impressed] He left you in charge? JIMMY    [heavy sigh, morose]  Only in the certainty that there won't be a stampede on our services. LUCY    That bad, eh? JIMMY    Yeah.  Quite. SOUND    DOOR, BELL, FOOTSTEPS MISS SMITH    Hello? SOUND    QUICK STEPS JIMMY    Yes?  How may I assist you? MISS SMITH    [nervous] Oh, I was -um- just looking for a railway timetable?  I'm going up to the city-- [breaks off] JIMMY    Sorry.  Clean out.  Perhaps next week. MISS SMITH    Ah.  Thank you. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, BELL DOOR LUCY    You might have made a sale! JIMMY    She just wanted to look. LUCY    You don't know that. JIMMY    [bitter admission] She's the fourth today.  Everyone would rather take the train to town and shop in a big department store than [quoting] bother to take advantage of the convenience-- SOUND    DOOR BELL MISS JONES    Hello? JIMMY    ...and that's five. MUSIC   SCENE 2.    PUB SCARRICK    The outlook is not encouraging for us smaller businesses. SOUND    POURING DRINK SCARRICK    These big concerns are offering all sorts of attractions to the shopping public which we couldn't afford to imitate, even on a small scale-- reading-rooms and play-rooms and gramophones and Heaven knows what. BOY    [normal, commiserating] People like shiny objects. SCARRICK    And they don't care to buy half a pound of sugar nowadays unless they can listen to Harry Lauder and have the latest Australian cricket scores ticked off before their eyes. MAN    Seems like quite a trip for sugar. SCARRICK    With the big Christmas stock we've got in, we ought to keep half a dozen assistants hard at work.  But as it is my nephew Jimmy and myself can pretty well attend to it ourselves.  In fact, I've left him in charge.  I've never done that before. BOY    I'm sure he'll be fine. SCARRICK    [drinks] It's a nice stock of goods, too.  I could run it all off in a few weeks time, but there's no chance of that--not unless the London line was to get snowed up for a fortnight before Christmas. MAN    [musing] How you gonna keep them home on the farm? MUSIC   SCENE 3.    SCARRICK'S SOUND    SHOP DOOR, BELL MRS. GREYES    --so tedious, but there it is, and what else is one to do? MISS FRITTEN    We shall simply wait for the next--  SCARRICK    May I help you ladies? MRS. GREYES    Oh!  [evasive] Really, we just stopped in to see about --- um, about-- MISS FRITTEN    Bootlaces.  MRS. GREYES    Bootlaces!  Yes!  I've been in dire need of some-- SCARRICK    [hearty] Of course.  Over on the left wall, near the back. MRS. GREYES    Oh, yes, of course.  [whispering]  You knew he'd try and sell us something if we came in here!  Bootlaces indeed.  I already have more laces than boots! MISS FRITTEN    At least if we do make a purchase, they're small enough to carry when we go to-- MRS. GREYES    Shh! SCARRICK    Finding everything? MRS. GREYES    Oh, yes.  This is the best ... um... anchovy paste.  Just what I was looking for. MISS FRITTEN    Just lovely! SCARRICK    Perhaps you ladies could help me.  I was thinking of adding a little entertainment to the shop. MRS. GREYES    Oh? SCARRICK    I did have a sort of idea of engaging Miss Luffcombe to give recitations during afternoons; she made a great hit at the Post Office entertainment with her rendering of 'Little Beatrice's Resolve'. MISS FRITTEN    [very uncertain] Oh, that would be ...just ... lovely. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, BELL RINGS ODDLY SCARRICK    What? SOUND    ODD FOOTSTEPS ENTER SCARRICK    [excusing himself] Your pardon. SOUND    SCARRICK GOES TO THE COUNTER MRS. GREYES    [whispered] Perhaps we should just do our shopping here. MISS FRITTEN    But I'm in my best hat! MRS. GREYES    Shh! Shh!  Look at that! MISS FRITTEN    What an odd looking boy.  Brown as a nut, but we've not had sun in weeks! MRS. GREYES    And those clothes.  Like something out of the Arabian nights! SOUND    CLANG BOY    [accented now] Six pomegranates, please, and a packet of quail seed. MISS FRITTEN    What's the bowl for? MRS. GREYES    To carry the pomegranates? MISS FRITTEN    Why not a string bag? MRS. GREYES    Allergies?  Shh! SCARRICK    [business as usual]  Here you are.  We have some lovely pomegranates. MISS FRITTEN    He doesn't even look surprised! MRS. GREYES    The boy must have been here before. SOUND    COIN SKITTERING, CAUGHT BOY    The wine and figs were not paid for yesterday.  Keep what is over of the money for our future purchases. SCARRICK    [formal and serious] As you wish.  SOUND    BOY LEAVES, DOOR SHUTS SOUND    SKITTERING OF LADIES FEET MISS FRITTEN    [to Scarrick, hinting] A very strange-looking boy? SCARRICK    [final]  A foreigner, I believe. MRS. GREYES    Does he shop here often?  Surely there can't be much call for ...quail seed... at this time of year. SCARRICK    It takes all sorts. SOUND    DOOR OPENS SOUND    HEAVY OMINOUS FOOTSTEPS MISS FRITTEN    [gasp] MRS. GREYES    Oh!  [covering her consternation]  Oh, I forgot those bootlaces!  [hissed] Come on! SOUND    THEY SKITTER AWAY MAN    [accented] I wish for a pound and a half of the best coffee you have. SCARRICK    [wary] Certainly sir. MRS. GREYES    Look at that beard! MISS FRITTEN    Like a comedy Russian. MRS. GREYES    No, more like an ancient Assyrian. MAN    [suspicious] Has a dark-faced boy been here buying pomegranates? SCARRICK    Can't say that I've seen anyone like that. MRS. GREYES    Oh!  [muffles self] MISS FRITTEN    [whispered]  How could he! SCARRICK    [offhanded] We have a few pomegranates in stock, but there has been no real demand for them. MAN    My servant will fetch the coffee, as usual. SOUND    COIN SKITTERS, HEAVY FEET START TO WALK AWAY, THEN STOP MAN    [very importantly] Have you, perhaps, any quail seed? SCARRICK    [unhesitating] No.  we don't stock it. GREYES AND FRITTEN [gasp] SOUND    FEET WALK AWAY MRS. GREYES    [whispered] What will he deny next? MISS FRITTEN    And I always believed Mr. Scarrick to be such a truthful man.  Heavens! He just presided at a lecture on Savonarola. SOUND    DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES MRS. GREYES    Don't let's bother about the 3.12.  Let's dash, and talk this out at Laura Lipping's MISS FRITTEN     Perhaps we should buy a few things first.  Since we're here. MUSIC   SCENE 4.    TEA MISS FRITTEN    [recounting lusciously] Turning up the deep astrakhan collar of his long coat, the stranger swept out of the shop, with the air of a Satrap proroguing a Sanhedrim. MRS. LIPPING    Do Satraps prorogue? MISS FRITTEN    [coldly superior] Have you ever seen one that didn't? GLORIA    I don't even know what a Sanhedrim is.  Is it a dance? MISS FRITTEN    It is a simile and hardly matters.  Or do I mean an allegory? MRS. GORDON    And the boy? MRS. GREYES    I should have though him Greek, but after seeing that beard-- MRS. LIPPING    They could have been unrelated. MISS FRITTEN    Unrelated?  And both asking for "quail seed"?  Mark my words.  There's something afoot. MRS. GREYES    What bothers me most is this unprecedented streak of falsity in our local grocer! GLORIA    I've never known Mr. Scarrick to prevaricate like that before! MRS. GREYES    It's the influence of that artist that took the flat above the shop.  Mark my words.  [importantly] Bohemian. MRS. GORDON    [tragically] I shall never again be able to believe what he tells me about the absence of colouring matter in the jam. MUSIC   SCENE 5.    SCARRICK'S SOUND    DOOR, BELL SOUND    BROOM LUCY    Jimmy? JIMMY    Yeah.  Here. LUCY    Goodness, it looks like a tornado touched down. JIMMY    Fabulous, isn't it? LUCY    But, what happened? JIMMY    This afternoon, from tea onwards, we had a constant stream of shoppers.  LUCY    Is this something to do with the odd individuals who may or may not have been in this afternoon? JIMMY    [overly innocent] Whomever do you refer to? LUCY    Come on!  It's all over town.  People talked about it at tea, and more people talked about it at supper.  I expect they're all talking about it over Bridge even as we speak.  The dark young man and the Beard.  JIMMY    Sounds a bit like a music hall act. LUCY    [speculatively] Yes... yes, it does.... MUSIC   SCENE 6.    SCARRICK'S [MANY CUSTOMERS] MISS SMITH    Is this the freshest jar of pickles? JIMMY    Miss?  I suppose so. MISS SMITH    It looks a bit dusty. JIMMY    That would be my fault-- SCARRICK    [commanding] Jimmy! JIMMY    So sorry, must jump. MISS FRITTEN    [whispered]  Do you think they will return? MRS. GREYES    I have it on good authority someone's rented that house at the far end of Plummergen. MISS FRITTEN    But why should they come all this way to shop? MRS. GREYES    [knowing] Plummergen drapers don't stock quail seed.  MISS FRITTEN    [getting it] Ah! SOUND    REGISTER NOISE SCARRICK    That will be three shillings and four pence. SOUND    COINS MRS. LIPPING    I'm looking for something interesting for a savory.  Have you any, any‑‑ SOUND    GENERAL HUSH MRS. LIPPING    [nervous] --any, um-- SCARRICK    [as if nothing is amiss]  I have some pickled olives.  Imported from turkey. MRS. LIPPING    Yes, anything. SOUND    JAR SET DOWN, CASH REGISTER SOUND    JABBER BEGINS AGAIN SOUND    DOOR OPENS, BELL, JABBER SLOWLY DIES AWAY. SILENCE SOUND    BOY WALKS IN. SOUND    BOWL SET DOWN. SCARRICK    [normal]  What can I get for you today? BOY    I require a pound of honey. SOUND    BREATH BEING LET OUT ALL OVER BOY    and - [quieter] and a packet of quail seed. SOUND    GENERAL INTAKE OF BREATH, GIGGLE QUICKLY MUFFLED SCARRICK    Very good, sir. SOUND    CONVERSATIONS, FORCED LAUGHTER, BUT MUTED, LISTENING MISS FRITTEN    [excited whisper] We might be living in the Arabian Nights. MRS. GREYES    Hush! Listen! SOUND    THINGS PLACED INTO BOWL, BOWL REMOVED, BOY STARTS TO LEAVE. SOUND    QUICK FOOTSTEPS JIMMY    [hurried, fraught with meaning] We have some very fine Jaffa oranges.  Around behind here. BOY    [gasps] SOUND    QUICK SHUFFLE OF FEET SOUND    DOOR OPENS, MAN STRIDES IN. SOUND    GASPS SCARRICK    [unperturbed]  What may I get for you today, Sir? MAN    A pound of dates and a tin of the best Smyrna halva. MISS FRITTEN    Halva?  What is that? MRS. GREYES    It comes from Smyrna - that's figs, isn't it, Smyrna is? GLORIA    Who would want dates AND figs? MRS. LIPPING    Hush. SCARRICK    There you are.  MAN    Hmm [evaluating noise]  Yes. SOUND    COINS DROPPED MAN    Has the dark-faced boy, of whom I spoke yesterday, been here to-day? GLORIA    [stifled squeak of excitement] SOUND    [shushing all round] SCARRICK    We've had rather more people than usual in the shop to-day... but I can't recall a boy such as you describe. SOUND    [gasps] MRS. GREYES    [satisfied] Didn't we say? MISS FRITTEN    It's too too terrible. MUSIC   SCENE 7.    TEA MRS. GREYES    It is deplorable that anyone - particularly someone in a position such as Mr. Scarrick -should treat the truth as an article temporarily and excusably out of stock. MISS FRITTEN    More quail seed!  Those quails must be voracious!  [realizing]  or else... perhaps it isn't quail seed at all. MRS. GREYES    I believe it's opium, and the bearded man is a detective. MRS. LIPPING    I don't.  I'm sure it's something to do with the Portuguese Throne. MISS FRITTEN     More likely to be a Persian intrigue on behalf of the ex-Shah.  The bearded man belongs to the Government Party. The quail-seed is a countersign, of course; Persia is almost next door to Palestine, and quails come into the Old Testament, you know. GLORIA    [exasperated] Only as a miracle.  [knowing] I've thought all along it was part of a love intrigue. MRS. LIPPING    I distinctly saw a snarl of baffled rage as the man departed, sandwiched between that heavy moustache and upturned astrakhan collar. GLORIA    I can't imagine that that boy is the guilty party here.  Much more likely he's simply perishing of love for someone - perhaps the daughter of the beard, but the match is quite unsuitable-- MISS FRITTEN    Honey and pomegranates - of course!!! MUSIC   SCENE 8.    SCARRICK'S SHOP, NIGHT, QUIET SOUND    DOOR, BELL JIMMY    [calling from off] Closed! LUCY    I know, mutton head. JIMMY    Oh, Lucy! SOUND    BROOM DOWN, STEPS LUCY    Another busy day? JIMMY    The busiest.  Another day or two of brisk trade and we'll be--[cut off with a gasp] SOUND    KISS LUCY    [laughing] I was here today, you know. JIMMY    [uneasy] Oh? LUCY    [indulgent] You were quite the hero.  Hustling that poor young man off behind the biscuit tins in the very nick of time. JIMMY    [flustered] Well, I've got a good view of the street from my post at the cheese and bacon counter. LUCY    [pouty] Jimmy.  Have you EVER known me to gossip? JIMMY    You, Lucy?  I don't think so. LUCY    Quite a vote of confidence. JIMMY    I didn't mean that-- [sigh] No.  No I've never known you to gossip. LUCY    Let me in, then!  Perhaps there's something I can do to help? MUSIC   SCENE 9.    PUB SCARRICK    It was quite marvelous!  And we sold out of that blasted Halva. MAN    It looked crowded, but they were actually buying? SCARRICK     They bought and bought - some came back three or four times, just to have an excuse to linger.  BOY    "Oh, I forgot" and "silly me, one more thing." SCARRICK    Exactly.  Even those women whose purchases were of "modest proportions" dawdled over them as though they had, uh-- MAN    Brutal, drunken husbands to go home to? SCARRICK    [chuckles] I've even had to take on a couple of extra assistants for tomorrow. MUSIC   SCENE 10.    SCARRICK'S STORE - BUSY MISS FRITTEN    What do you think?  Is this bowl anything like the one the young gentleman carries? MRS. GREYES    Nonsense.  His is brass.  Or bronze, perhaps.  That one is copper. MISS FRITTEN    Still, it's got a lovely patina. MRS GORDON    Ducks? SCARRICK    [distracted] Pardon? MRS GORDON    Ducks?  I found a lovely recipe for Bombay duck, and I was wondering if a domestic duck would suffice. SCARRICK    I suspect that ducks are much the same the world over-- [small gasp] SOUND    DOOR OPENS, BELL GENERAL EXPECTANT HUSH SCARRICK    You'll excuse me. SOUND    BOY'S FOOTSTEPS, SCARRICK MEETS HIM MRS GORDON    oh! SCARRICK    Sir?  BOY    Yes? SCARRICK    [overtly confidential]  I must warn you-- SOUND    [gasps] SCARRICK    [as if saying something else] We have run out of quail seed. BOY    [shocked and disappointed] Oh.  I should-- I must-- MRS GORDON    Oh no! SOUND    SCUTTLING FEET JIMMY    [excited]  We do have some much finer oranges today, if you want to step over here. BOY    [dramatic gasp] SOUND    BOY RUNS SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN, BELL SOUND    OMINOUS FOOTSTEPS MRS. GORDON     [voice over] I found my self sub-consciously repeating "The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold" under my breath. MISS FRITTEN    [whispered] Watch the door! SCARRICK    [very tense]  Ah.  Coffee again today sir?  Perhaps figs? MAN    I am looking for-- LUCY    [in disguise, foreign sounding]  Jaffa oranges, I think. MAN    What? MRS GREYES    [voiceover] She slithered out of the aisle like the lady in the lake. LUCY    Your Excellency does his shopping himself? MAN    [suspicious] I order the things myself.  I find it difficult to make my servants understand. MISS FRITTEN    [voiceover]  How ever did we miss a mysterious veiled lady, right in the midst of us all? LUCY    I was saying... They have some excellent Jaffa oranges here.  [tinkling laugh] SOUND    HER FEET TAP AWAY TO THE DOOR, BELL MAN    [considering] Hmph.  MRS. GORDON    [gasp] MAN    You! SCARRICK    [tense] Yes? MAN    You have, perhaps, some good Jaffa oranges? GLORIA    [voiceover] Everyone expected an instant denial on the part of Mr. Scarrick of any such possession, but before he could answer‑‑ BOY    No! SOUND    RUNNING FEET, DOOR, BELL MISS FRITTEN    [voiceover] Holding his empty brass bowl before him as he dashed into the street. His face was masked with studied indifference SOUND    THE VOICEOVERS START TO FADE INTO TEA   SCENE 11.    TEA MRS GREYES    Overspread with ghastly pallor! MRS. LIPPING    I would call it blazing with defiance. GLORIA    How defiant could he be!  He was so terrified that his teeth chattered! MRS. GORDON    I distinctly heard him whistling the Persian National anthem. MISS FRITTEN    But the bearded man - his face was a mask of abject terror! MRS GREYES    I thought he would dash out after the boy, but he just paced to and fro like a caged animal seeking an outlet for escape. GLORIA    He couldn't take his eyes off the door. MRS GORDON    Did he ever come back for his purchases?  Or send his servant? MISS FRITTEN    I've not had the nerve to ask Mr. Scarrick.  The whole thing was so ...  overwhelming. MUSIC   SCENE 12.    SCARRICK'S STORE LUCY    It was so overwhelming.  Trying not to laugh while watching all their faces. JIMMY    [chuckles] You did a fabulous job. LUCY    You like me in a veil? JIMMY    I can think of a certain veil I'd like to see you in. LUCY    [interested, pleased] Really? JIMMY    Mm-hmm  [yes] SOUND    KISS MUSIC   SCENE 13.    PUB SCARRICK    I can never thank you fellows enough. MAN    We enjoyed the fun of it.  [laughs, then  talks like beard]  And the figs. BOY    It was a welcome vacation from posing for hours for 'The Lost Hylas' MAN    You just have to sit still.  I'm the one who has to make you look good. SCARRICK    What do I owe you? MAN    No, no.  It was far too entertaining.  BOY    We did get all those lovely pomegranates. SCARRICK    At any rate... I insist on paying for the hire of the black beard.   THE END  

In this thrilling episode, Crit Chat's very own Kye You joins the crew to take us in a bold new direction: the path of Entropy. He's one of the galaxy's most ruthless villains, and he's here to get some sweet information on a very powerful device. No one alive really knows what it can do, or where it is exactly, but to have it - that would be the beginning of everything.   Stay tuned near the end - Loremaster Jeff gives a plea to encourage you all to help us fight manmade climate change: PlanItChange10.   Facebook: facebook.com/planitchange10/ Twitter:    twitter.com/Planitchange10   Together we can turn back the tide of onrushing carbon overload on our beloved planet. Like Margaret Mead said: (paraphrase)"We can be the heroes we're looking for!"   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Tristan Miller is back to reprise his role as Captain Marjery Silva, M.D. as she reconnects with an old flame. Also in this episode: Anthony Blair-Borders as Rael, John Reese as Maxx Fyre and Kethud, Nikki as Zeb'this, and Steven Mathews as the freaky, sneaky Talon.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Tristan Miller of Another Path (and several other podcasts) joins us to fire off multiple goofs and engage in some serious Maxx Fyre-related action. John has a new character, Zeb'this is a rising star, and Rael and Talon are back together again.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Jok'tot Gibson and Zeb'this Nesesseran are trying to move on from the untimely death of their friend Maxx Fyre by writing a series based on Jok'tot's life; Talon meets a new companion and receives a strange message from an unlikely source.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, three of our heroes are living their lives, eight months after the events in the Yonniseed Cavern. Maxx Fyre is producing a film based on the life of Jok'tot "Rustling Leaves" Gibson and starring Zeb'this Nesesseran as "Nick Knack: Ghost Detective". Talon gets an itchy feeling, and everyone winds up in Maxx's living room bent over and screaming.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Seth and Taylor are back and ready to kick some goblin ass, only this time they've got backup. And they're back in time. And journalism.   And very special thank you to our newest players, Trey and Annee!   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Talon's back in superhero recruitment mode, going with Eliane's kid character, Kem, and Dean's gunslinger character, Fred Deansguy. They find themselves in a weird little village, where almost no one goes outside their homes...Why? No one knows...   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Dean Frank Eaton II and Eliane "E" Neilson are back and this time they're taking on some fierce robotic beasts. It's fun and exciting, and you're gonna love it or your money back!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, uber composer Kevin MacLeod is back and his Vor'akhi Soulsinger Priest is jumping into action. Rael, Huma, and Talon do their best to prevent any loss of life, but things happen. We know you're gonna love this one because Kevin is great and so are we!   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Find Kevin's music at: incompetech.com

In this thrilling episode, international celebrity super composer Kevin MacLeod of incompetech.com drops in to do an adventure with Talon and Rael as a very cool and very kind Vor'akhi diplomat and priest, Korvak Muk'Klowd. The Resistance needs our boys to make new friends. Do they have the skills to make this the best party ever?   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG

In this thrilling final episode of this most exciting sidequest, you will experience the highs and lows of adventuring and mystery-solving you have every seen, children will dance atop prairie dogs and dogs will dance high in the trees, it shall be as like licorice whips from heaven on a clear spring day, praise Chazeer, may his farts always smell of ginger beer and laughter, hallay luuya, ay men.   Guys, they figure it out. Some magic stuff happens. And then shit gets weird.   And Loremaster Jeff makes a fun song. It took several hours. The proof is in the slightly glitchy sounding remixing job. Nailed it.   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG and Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this, the first part of our Slainbury Hill series finale, the good good Whizbang Boys are back and on the trail of a spooky ghost and the missing kids from the PWC. Join them and shiver as they descend further into madness...   Happy Halloween!   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG and Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling installment of the The Curse on Slainbury Hill, our intrepid heroes find themselves facing down a terrifying enemy. Dirk defends the courageous young Parm, Gandolph has a brief crisis of confidence, and a kindly old woman welcomes them into her home. Will they uncover the secret of the ancient undead? Find out next time on... Shattered Worlds!   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:  By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG and Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, we return to The Curse on Slainbury Hill Sidequest Series for fun and danger! Our heroes have journeyed beyond the Offensive Spell Proving Room and into the dank tunnels that house the little understood unholy enemies that have plagued Gandolph's nightscape! PS Parm totally kicks ass in this one.   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG  

The boys of the PWC are back and mobbin in the deep. Who knows what evil lurks within?   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

Welcome back! In this first sidequest episode of our midseason break, we return to the tale of mystery and spookiness that is The Curse on Slainbury Hill! Our heroes have entered the tinker's cave and journeyed through the Twilight Door. Along the way Gandolph exposes some fearfulness, Parm shows off her skills, and Dirk Hamlin continues to be chillbro city, as per uzhe. And they meet a ghost!   Closing Song: "Heavy Heart" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

Well, gang, you’ve finally made it! For our heroes, it’s only been about a week, but for us it’s been over a year. The heroes have saved the day, and are headed home. Pretty soon, the Deepwell Fortress and the Yonniseed Cavern will be in the rearview mirror. Before that, however, our heroes get to be celebrated by a village of grateful Gilimoreans. We hope you love it as much as we do.    And you have to stay tuned, because our midseason break is chock full of awesome episodes. We’re going back to Slainbury Hill to find out what happened to the missing Ghoulmen, we have tons of awesome special guests, we get to finally see what the Lunari capitol is all about, and a few of our heroes find themselves on a search for a fleet of librarians. It’s gonna be tons of fun, so stay with us as we explore the weird and wild world of Shattered Worlds RPG!     Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, our heroes are reunited in a spooky corridor, surrounded by the deadly creatures of the Deepwell Fortress. How will they get out of this one?   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, our heroes take care of the shades and get to know Zeb'this. Zilisam figures out how to tweak some stolen zombie tech, and the shades develop a fun new ability!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, the heroes split into two groups and head into the fortress in search of Macgargle's sons' bodies; Nikki debuts her new character, giant Gilimorean actor slash death cultist Zeb'this; and Kayvin and Lu Shao team up to lay down some serious smack up on them cyborgs.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG  

In this thrilling episode, Rael enters the Drommo's control center and gets set for some sabotage, Talon pops in for a visit, Rajiv makes a sensible proposition, and someone turns up missing...   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, our heroes are reunited with their benefactors, the Brothers of Light, Talon discovers Hlina's handiwork, and Farley pursues some stragglers.     This week's sponsor is travelocity.com! (not really)   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG Read more at http://shatteredworlds.libsyn.com/#Z92e7cr5f3CK0zGV.99

In this thrilling episode, the party is large and the goofs per minute is off the charts! The Drommo takes a beating, Farley goes inside, and Hlina puts her daggers in a very sensitive area. What a blast!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Drew, Steve, Kaarin, and Anthony are back and they are whuppin up on the Drommo so hard. Samdean helps Rael and Jok'Tot make the right shots. Talon survives the ghostly cylinder. Hlina finally gets to act, and she does so in a very fun way.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Kaarin is back to take on the Drommo as Hlina, Zilisam goes off script, Jok'Tot makes a lucky shot, and everyone has a jolly good time!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

In this thrilling episode, Reebart loses control, Sam hangs back, Talon gives a yank, and Jok'Tot delivers an important message with style.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to our other podcasts, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC and Hall of Fame with Casey McLain and Taylor Bonzer!

In this thrilling episode, Reebart the Metal Man acts as the voice of the Drommo, challenging the heroes to back down. Talon has other ideas.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!

In this thrilling episode, Jok'Tot's in a weird sound-off with an evil little dude in a green cloak and matching pantsuit. Hlina's there. And Anthony? But playing as the androgynous super-tall white suited teleporting light witch, The White Spider.  Hlina isn't sure if she should get involved. Time paradoxes, and stuff. This is a pretty short episode, but it's still super funny!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!   and go watch Brock Terrano do standup! He works in the Puget Sound Area. Here's his Facebook page  

In this thrilling episode, we're back in Jok'Tot's memory palace and this time we have a very special (and deadly) guest, one Mr Brock Terrano. He's playing the role of a nasty little killer, the occult assassin Terrana Vrock AKA Mysteria. Jok'Tot takes the fight to him, and things get crazy. And Hlina's there!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!   and go watch Brock Terrano do standup! He works in the Puget Sound Area. Here's his Facebook page

In this thrilling episode, our heroes finally defeat their dastardly foes, only to experience an even greater shock. Next week: the Drommo...   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!  

In this thrilling new Sidequest Series, the ladies of Mammary Alpha drop by to engage in some exciting spacefaring action. They get their top secret orders, come across a big space donut, and meet some very odd characters. This one's funny af, so get ready!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!

In this thrilling Part 2 of our exploration of the stars onboard the CCSS Starship Milkshake, the good good Ladies of Mammary Alpha are back and in rare form. They meet one of the friendlier inhabitants of Donut Station and engage in further hijinx. Excelsior!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!  

In this thrilling episode, MacGargle and Talon create a new Olympic sport, Farley soars from the water like a dolphin, Davey Baldwin has problematic hand gestures, and Yifram just can't catch a break.   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG and listen to Jeff's other podcast, Everything is Awesome with Jeff & KC!  

In this thrilling episode, Yifram has a visit from an old friend, Glumpnorf stands up to his captain, and Nastia struggles to save the good doctor. Thanks for listening to the sidequest! If you like what you heard, go ahead and check out the rest of our fine episodes!   Closing Song: "Hiding Your Reality" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Get involved! Contact us:   By email: shatteredworldspod@gmail.com or Twitter: @EIAPodcast Use the hashtags #shatteredworlds or #SWRPG   Like our Facebook page - Shattered Worlds RPG

Andrew got one of those rare opportunities to interview a geek one on one, and what an interview it turned out to be! A lot of laughs, and some insight to who Deece Casillas is. The Social Hour podcast is a podcast that has recently been brought into Pants Pending Studios, and here is your opportunity to meet the man behind the show. All music by Kevin Mcleod (Incompetech.com)

We wrap our meaty forearms around Hasbro's torso, invert them, and administer a devastating suplex as we discuss the things we would've done differently had we made Risk. Then we booze the news, because Tom couldn't be bothered to write a goofy script about farm animals who don't understand modern banking. Plus burning goats, majestic hair, and the quivering muscles of a thousand hirsuit men. The Mildly Alarming Podcast! Intro Gag: Comin' to ya live from where the wild men are, I'm Tom Rich and with me as always are a heaving sea of muscular pectorals, and this is the Mildly Alarming Podcast. Episode why=mx+b: A Quandary of Hypotheticals in D Minor ##Segment 1: Remaking the Game: Risk Episode Sponsor: TatChat with Beardy Pete Podcast ##Segment 2: Booze 'n the News Sneaky butt-toucher on the loose, police say Opening of all-decaf coffee shop in Manhattan met with horror, outrage Canada Has a Burger Stuffed With Reese's Peanut Butter Cups IKEA Christmas Goat self-destructs and is reduced to ashes in a matter of seconds Ontario hospital sends man with memory loss to unconfirmed address in cab Outro Gag: ScatChat with Beardy Pete Podcast Music in this episode: "RetroFuture Clean" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons By Attribution 3.0

Programming games, unorthodox mechanics, and the Protestant Reformation. What more could you want? Intro: Comin' to ya' live from a malignant version of Idaho, I'm Tom Rich and with me as always are evil little potato men, and this is the Mildly Alarming Podcast. Episode -3: Don't Frown, Brown Clown: Downtown Browntown! ##Segment 1: Programming Games## Episode Sponsor: Old Champ Anabolic Steroids ##Segment 2: Weird, Wild, and Unorthodox Mechanics## Outro Gag: Emergency Podcast System Music in this epidsode: "Crossing the Divide" by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons By Attribution 3.0