Down To Earth with the Burucharas

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Welcome to Down To Earth with the Burucharas, hosted by Callie and David Buruchara. We believe it's possible to pursue high ideals for a relationship while still keeping it down to earth. Join us and featured guests as we explore how to build beautiful, intentional, and fulfilling relationships amidst the everyday highs and lows. We keep it faith-based, real, and practical. New episodes every Friday. Listen anywhere you get your podcasts, and please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it!

David & Callie Buruchara


    • Dec 15, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 51m AVG DURATION
    • 124 EPISODES

    4.8 from 27 ratings Listeners of Down To Earth with the Burucharas that love the show mention: authentic, practical, love.



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    Latest episodes from Down To Earth with the Burucharas

    BONUS: Neurodivergence & Relationships with Jeremy and Ilana Hamburgh

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2023 51:10


    In the final episode of season 4, Callie and David talk with Jeremy and Ilana from mybestsociallife.com. Whether you are on the spectrum, consider yourself neurodivergent, or know someone who is, this episode is for you! We talk about:Jeremy and Illana's career transitions from law and special-ed to helping people on the spectrum find community, make friends, start dating, and find loveHow Jeremy became the  "Hitch" for people on the autism spectrum, as mentioned in The AtlanticWhy dating is so difficult for neurodivergent people and how to get helpAlong with lessons we can all learn from the neurodivergent community (and their parents) about succeeding in relationships. ---------Jeremy and Ilana Hamburgh are friendship and dating coaches who empower autistic and neurodivergent adults to find community, make friends, start dating, and find love.  Ilana has over 16 years of experience as a special education teacher in New York City and is now the Director of Education for My Best Social Life.  Jeremy has over 13 years of experience coaching autistic adults into the social lives they want and deserve.  Their flagship program is called Social Life 360, and it's like nothing else in the autism and neurodivergent world:  It combines a warm and inclusive community, private and group coaching, and confidence and social skills building that uses formulas, diagrams, and step-by-step processes which allow a differently wired brain to observe, understand, and engage with the social world.      Jeremy and Ilana offer a no-cost 90-minute Strategy Session to every family whose autistic or neurodivergent adult wants to have a more fulfilling social life, and they love giving families incredible clarity on the path from loneliness to a more connected life.  Jeremy and Ilana do all of this with a deep commitment to kindness, compassion and world-class support.  You can learn more about Jeremy, Ilana, and the Social Life 360 Strategy at MyBestSocialLife.com and you can contact them about scheduling your family's Strategy Session at Jeremy@MyBestSocialLife.com or Ilana@MyBestSocialLife.com.    --------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Navigating Relationships With Parents Q&A

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2023 59:09


    In today's episode, Callie and David answer some of your burning questions about navigating adult relationships with parents.  Thanks to all of you who took the time to submit questions that include:dealing with your in-law's problematic behaviorhow to relate to and honor step-parentsdealing with an abusive step-parent from another cultureattending therapy to address issues with your parentsand more!--------------------------------Submit your questions for the S4 Q&A episode here: Season 4 - Q&A Submission FormWe're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Grieving The Death Of A Parent with Miriam Okonkwo

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2023 80:08


    This week, we address a topic often avoided but inevitably encountered—the loss of our parents and navigating the associated grief. This episode features a heartfelt conversation with David's cousin, Miriam, reflecting on the memories and lessons from her grief journey following her father's passing in 2020. Join us as we delve into various approaches to grief, the unique impact of a parent's loss, surprising effects of grief, and more.Learn more about Miriam's professional journey here and follow her on Instagram at @mircyat--------------------------------Submit your questions for the S4 Q&A episode here: Season 4 - Q&A Submission FormWe're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Getting Along with Your In-Laws

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 3, 2023 58:14


    In this week's episode, Callie and David open up about their respective relationships with their in-laws, discussing the joys and the risks that in-law relationships can bring.  They also share 4 key rules for successfully relating with your in-laws. Join in on the conversation as we unravel the art of balancing love, boundaries, and understanding in the world of in-law relationships.Submit your questions for this season's Q&A episode here: Season 4 Q&A Submission Form--------------------------------Submit your questions for the S4 Q&A episode here: Season 4 - Q&A Submission FormWe're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    A Parent's Perspective: How To Relate With Your Parent As An Adult with Ann Marie Smith

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2023 63:04


    In this episode, we are honored to introduce Ann Marie Smith, a parent of adult children who shares her insights drawn from decades of parenting and her coaching program, Parent Possible. Ann Marie's perspective revolves around the notion that "childhood is fleeting, but being a parent is forever." She emphasizes the mutual benefits that adulthood can bring to both parents and their adult children. Join us as we explore how the dynamics of parent-child relationships evolve into adulthood, and we engage in a practical discussion about the expectations and responsibilities that adult children have towards their parents and vice versa. Ann Marie is an experienced Leadership and Project Consultant, Development Practitioner, Parent Educator, Coach and Speaker with a deep commitment to providing individuals, teams and families with the tools and resources needed to achieve breakthrough outcomes. She has shared and continues to share her experiences and expertise with public, private, and nongovernmental organisations in Jamaica,  and all over the world.Prior to becoming an Independent Leadership and Project Consultant, Ann Marie worked with the Government of Jamaica for 28 years, leading and managing learning and development for public servants and providing policy advice to senior levels of government in Jamaica and across the Caribbean region on public service learning and leadership development.She is the founder and Executive Director of:Parent Possible: Parent education and coaching organisation focused on equipping parents to succeed in their roles and transforming families one conversation at a time.Go Beyond Leadership – Her leadership development and coaching brand through which she works with individuals and teams to go beyond their current vision and create impact that matters.Gosnel's Delight - A vegan ice cream brand named for her father, with the tagline “sweet responsibly”She is also a  founding member of the Global Initiative for Fertility and Family Transformation (GIFFT), an NGO currently operating in five countries (Zimbabwe, Jamaica, Kenya, Uganda and South Africa) promoting healthy family dynamics and contributing to more equitable, just and sustainable communities. Ann-Marie is currently pursuing doctoral studies with a focus on parenting and family studies.Her proudest accomplishments are her two young adult children, Sacha-Rose and Walter.Find Ann Marie here:https://www.linkedin.com/in/annmariesmithleadership66https://www.go-beyondleadership.comhttps://www.facebook.com/parentpossibleja--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Emotionally Immature Parents: The Solution

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2023 57:30


    In last week's episode, we explored the signs and effects of emotional immaturity in parents. Today, we dive into practical ways of navigating these complex dynamics as an adult with an emotionally immature parent. Tune in as we discuss the following strategies:letting go of the fantasyhow to individuate and process your feelingsfocusing on what you can controlestablishing appropriate boundaries Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson's book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Emotionally Immature Parents: The Signs

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2023 52:40


    In today's episode, we uncover both the obvious and subtle signs that indicate emotional immaturity in parents, exploring the profound impact it can have on their children's emotional well-being and future relationships. Whether you're a parent seeking to better understand your own behaviors or someone who grew up with emotionally immature parents, this episode will help you identify the 4 types of emotional immaturity that parents tend to fall in. Next week, we'll discuss how to practically navigate these complex dynamics in our relationships.Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson's book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Healing Parental Wounds with Candis Braxton

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2023 61:36


    In this episode, we're joined by friend and marriage & family therapist, Candis Braxton. Join us as we explore how the influences of our parents/caregivers echo within us long into adulthood. Learn how to identify and confront these internalized voices, appreciate the gifts and gaps that we've received from our parents, and how to build healthier relationships with our parents in the present.Candis Braxton is a Licensed Marriage and Family Associate Therapist (LMFT-A) in North Carolina, providing virtual therapy statewide. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families dealing with various issues, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and life transitions. Candis  also offers a spiritually connected and Bible-centered therapeutic experience upon request, drawing from narrative, emotion-focused, and structural therapies, along with EMDR for unresolved childhood traumas. Candis lives in Fayetteville, North Carolina along with her husband, Sebastien, and 4 wonderful children. If you're interested in receiving therapy/counseling from Candis check out the links below:North Carolina residents: https://accrescentnc.comRest of the US/International: https://www.patreon.com/fiatluxnc--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Forgiving Our Parents

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2023 52:48


    Welcome back! In our last episode, we dove into what it means to honor our parents as adults. Today, we're stepping into the next part of our conversation: forgiving our parents. What does forgiveness have to do with honoring? Is forgiveness as simple as "forgive and forget" or is there more to it? And how do we forgive that which we may have not yet named? Why is it especially hard to do so with our parents? Let's talk.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? Share your insights through this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Honoring Parents As An Adult

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2023 43:13


    Welcome back to Season 4 of the podcast! The DTE listener community has spoken - we're diving headfirst into the complexities of Adult Relationships with Parents. In this season's opener, we begin to unravel what it means to honor our parents. How do we honor our parents as adults? What happens when we feel like our parents don't deserve any honor at all? What then? And how does our mental health and individuality fit into the picture? Tune in for the first part of the conversation.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? Share your insights through this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr

    Season 4 Trailer

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2023 2:27


    Callie and David are back for Season 4! Listen in to find out what relationship topic we'll be exploring this season!

    Single & Dating: A Dating Influencer's Perspective with Joy Ofodu

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2023 61:37


    In this episode, Joy Ofodu, comedy creator and host of the Dating Unsettled podcast, shares her personal dating journey and how she approached online dating with a specific strategy. She talks about the ups and downs of her dating experiences and the valuable lessons she learned along the way. Eventually, she found her bae and shares the story of how they met. Joy also introduces the concept of "hardballing" and explains how it can be a useful tool in dating. Tune in to hear Joy's insightful and entertaining take on modern dating, as well as her spot-on Obama impression.As a celebrated voice actor and Creative Executive, Joy Ofodu has drawn over 30M views to her original digital comedy content and countless more to inclusion-centered, global marketing campaigns at Instagram. Under her self-titled media company, she has grown a highly-engaged community of more than 200,000 online daters and meditators in just two years. Joy is the host of Dating Unsettled, an audio show designed to validate women daters, available now on all podcast platforms. Joy's voice can be heard in her partnerships with HBO Max, Adult Swim, The Daily Shine, Skybound Entertainment, Meta, Credit Karma, Netflix, DIRECTV, Upenndo! and more.

    Dating Q&A

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2023 79:58


    Share your questions for our upcoming Dating Q&A + vote for the season 4 theme: www.bit.ly/dte-surveyIn today's episode, Callie and David answer some of your burning questions about dating. Thanks to all of you who took the time to submit questions; here are the questions tackled in order:(04:07) Should I still date someone I don't find attractive? (09:23) On paper, they're perfect, but there's no chemistry. What do I do?(14:14) When should I bring up my past relationships?(22:08) We agreed to meet but haven't heard from him. Should I let it go?(28:20) How quickly do you bring up things that you don't like?(44:03) Is there ever a right time to date?(49:05) Is group dating a good idea?(55:16) How do I know if I'm genuinely attracted?(1:02:42) My relationship is great thus far, but the future is uncertain. Should we go forward? (1:09:59) Is it safe to remain friends with someone who's rejected me?

    DTR: Defining The Relationship In Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2023 62:46


    Share your questions for our upcoming Dating Q&A + vote for the season 4 theme: www.bit.ly/dte-survey In this episode, Callie & David explore the important but often awkward "defining the relationship" conversation when dating. The DTR conversation can be the crucial difference between intentionally moving forward in a relationship or letting circumstances and faulty assumptions shape your dating experience. Join us as we dive into:When to have the DTR talk and how to initiate it Common fears and misconceptions about DTRTips for handling the conversation with grace and honestyDealing with rejection

    From Small Talk To Heartfelt Connection: A Guide To Meaningful Date Conversations

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2023 78:02


    In this episode, Callie & David talk about conversations to have on dates that can drastically improve your dating experience. They share tips for less awkward interactions and more natural, fun, & meaningful discussions. They also provide helpful tools w/ examples for assessing whether it's worth going on a 2nd or 3rd date. Join us as we explore:Transitioning from small talk to deep talkConversation topics on a dateDisclaimers vs. explanationsLeading with vulnerability & clarityJay Shetty's 3-Date RuleLogan Ury's Post-Date Eight...and more!

    Singleness & Dating: A Best Friend's Perspective with Emely Umaña

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2023 73:37


    In this special episode, Callie has a conversation with her best friend Emely Umaña. As they reminisce about their 15-year friendship, Emely opens up about her personal journey with singleness and dating. With grace and wisdom, Emely reflects on how her attitude and approach to dating has evolved over time, and shares valuable insights for anyone navigating their dating journey. 

    Expanding Your Dating Pool: How To Meet People IRL And Online

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2023 69:42


    In this episode, Callie and David share tips and insights on how to meet potential partners within and beyond your current circles. They discuss different places and spaces where many couples first meet but most significantly, they emphasize the importance of approaching dating with a mindset that prioritizes reasonable efforts over immediate results.

    How Attachment Styles Impact Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2023 81:59


    Attachment theory suggests that the quality of our early relationships with caregivers - how we received love - shapes our attachment style, influencing how we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives. In this episode, Callie and David delve into how our frustrating patterns in dating are often related to our attachment styles. They explore how we can better understand ourselves, relate with others, and build more secure dating dynamics.

    Singleness & Dating: A World Traveler's Perspective with Jasper Iturriaga

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2023 65:47


    In our first guest episode of season 3, we're joined by globetrotter Jasper Iturriaga. Jasper is known by many for his amazing storytelling about his journies all around the world but in this episode, we zoom in and take a closer look at the man behind the camera to learn about his romantic life. Jasper is both wise and hilarious, honest and hopeful as he shares valuable lessons we can all appreciate that his travels have taught him about singleness and dating.Jasper is a photographer and a filmmaker. He has fit almost all his possessions in a backpack and suitcase to travel across 50 countries  around the world (on a Philippine passport!), telling people's stories and discovering life through different perspectives.His passion for telling stories brought him to the jungles of Palawan. Seeing the realities on the ground, he rallied social media to be a force for good—raising over $100k to help build 2 jungle schools and to support medical and dental clinics in the remotest parts of the island.He is currently working as a film maker and field coordinator for Child Impact International, an organization focused on rescuing and helping provide education to vulnerable kids around the world.

    Rethinking Your Dating "Type"

    Play Episode Play 30 sec Highlight Listen Later Feb 10, 2023 72:59


    Is it helpful to have a "type" when we date? Or should our tastes be more flexible when finding love? In this episode, David and Callie talk about what their types were before they met, exploring: the 3Ps that influence our typewhy it's important to question your typehow our type is often not actually our typeand how to differentiate between values and type in dating

    The 3 Dating Tendencies

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2023 41:12


    Welcome back to season 3! In this first episode, Callie and David talk about the 3 dating tendencies: a helpful framework that highlights three common blind spots most people have in their dating lives. Taken from Logan Ury's book, How To Not  Die Alone, finding out your tendency can help you understand the struggles you face in your dating journey along with strategies to help you overcome them. Find out your dating tendency at: https://loganury.com/quiz 

    Season 3 Trailer

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2023 1:34


    We're back with Season 3 next week!

    Our 100th Episode, A Special Interview, & Something New

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2022 35:44


    In this 100th and final episode of season 2, Callie takes over and switches things up for a change. Also, tune in for to learn more about our newsletter launching next week!Sign up for our newsletter launching Oct 14 at theburucharas.com!

    Sexual Betrayal & Recovery with Krystin Henley, LMFT

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2022 68:01


    In this episode, we're joined by Krystin Henley, LMFT, to learn about sexual betrayal: its trauma and recovery. We begin by unpacking what constitutes betrayal in a relationship and dive into Krystin's own story of broken trust and healing. We learn about the Intimacy Pyramid as an essential tool for building intimacy after broken trust, what to do while dating to prevent sexual betrayal in a future marriage, and more!Intimacy Pyramid diagram: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1he1FfZ1Bz4Mk2aZUSjqeuPjCDcu08wC5/view?usp=sharing Find more resources on betrayal trauma recovery support on Krystin's website: https://www.nurturingcharacters.com/btr-2Follow Krystin on Instagram: @nurturingcharactersKrystin Henley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. She has a passion for teaching others about emotional intelligence through her ministry Nurturing Characters. Krystin has recently been APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialist) trained and is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist-Candidate. She and her husband are blessed with four children and enjoy traveling, gardening, and exploring their Pacific Northwest backyard.

    Our Table Mountain Story

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2022 48:39


    On Sunday morning February 23rd, 2020, David and Callie, then a freshly married couple, embarked on what they thought would be a pleasant 2-3 hour hike up the Platteklip Gorge trail of Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa. Little did they know, a day-long adventure was awaiting them...this is the story. 

    Grief, Hope, & Relational Resilience with Seth Day

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 53:53


    In this episode, Seth Day joins us to discuss his and Heather Thompson Day's upcoming book, "I'll See You Tomorrow: Building Relational Resilience When You Want to Quit". We explore Seth's inspiration behind the book that started 17 years ago after his brother's passing, his subsequent grief, and journey to healing. Woven into Seth's story is the beautiful truth that we can still find possibility when the ideals of a relationship are no longer on the table.Pre-order "I'll See You Tomorrow"  on Amazon.Seth Day is currently a full-time instructor teaching courses in Public Speaking for Andrews University and a course in Issues in Grieving and Loss for AdventHealth University. Seth has a MA in Human Service Counseling from Regent University, and is currently pursuing a second MA in Educational Psychology from Andrews University.Seth is passionate about youth and young adult ministry, having served as a youth and young adult pastor in Denver, Colorado and working for several years in public schools with at-risk youth. Follow Seth on Instagram: @originalsadking

    5 Ways To Grow Your Relationship From Good To Great

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022 53:46


    Today's episode is inspired by a conversation Callie recently had with a friend and regular listener of the podcast. As they chatted, she shared, " I love your podcast and your relationship. But sometimes it just feels...unattainable." In this episode, David and Callie clarify how far from perfect their relationship is and share five attainable steps they've taken over the past 7 years, with much much grace, to grow their relationship to where it is today. 

    Monthly Relationship Q&A - Culture vs Faith, In Love With A Married Man, Communication, Money & More

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022 59:09


    In our monthly relationship Q&A episodes, we gather and discuss questions directly from YOU! We invite you to come along as we relate our shared experiences and discover helpful principles for healthier relationships. Topics covered in this episode:4:49 - Staying at your partner's parent's house while dating, is it right? 13:55 - Can the end of infatuation signal the end of a relationship?20:17 - I'm in love with a married man. What do I do?36:42 - Are men affected by women being the breadwinner?42:28 - My spouse won't listen to me about our communication issues48:54 - When to talk specifics about money when dating

    Career Mentorship (Part 3) with Audrey Bolo

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022 54:46


    In this final episode in our mentorship series, David sits down with Audrey Bolo, a friend and certified professional career coach to learn about:- her colorful career journey- how to navigate a drastic career shift- what do when you don't land your dream job  - what career coaching actually looks like- how to navigate pursuing our purpose and passions, all while paying the bills. Audrey Bolo is the face behind Your Truth Coach, helping professionals seek their own balance, clarity, and purpose as they make big, bold decisions. Audrey also leads a global talent management team and has worked in several industries and roles across several countries, including South Africa, Hong Kong, and Kenya.  She's a working mama chasing her dreams 1 truth at a time while embracing marriage and motherhood with the sense of humor and grateful heart that they deserve.If you're interested in working with Audrey, learn more at https://www.yourtruth.coach/  and follow her on:Instagram: @yourtruthcoachLinkedIn: Audrey Kusambiza Bolo

    Mentorship (Part 2) with Sebastien Braxton

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2022 60:11


    In this episode, we continue our miniseries on mentorship with Sebastien Braxton.  Sebastien draws from over 100,000 hours of mentorship experience to share 1) the qualities to look for in a prospective mentor, 2) how to effectively ask someone to be your mentor, and 3) much more! Sebastien J. Braxton is the CEO of Fiat Lux, a Christian mentorship and creative agency, and The New Life Challenge, a corporate wellness start-up. He is also a member of the InVerse team, a young adult bible study program on Hope Channel. He resides in North Carolina with his wife Candis and their four children. 

    Mentorship (Part 1) with Sebastien Braxton

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2022 34:08


    In this episode, we begin a short miniseries on mentorship with the help of three-time guest Sebastien Braxton.  Sebastien draws on his mentorship experiences over the years, showing how a successful mentorship starts with the right motives and a teachable attitude. Sebastien J. Braxton is the CEO of Fiat Lux, a Christian mentorship and creative agency, and The New Life Challenge, a corporate wellness start-up. He is also a member of the InVerse team, a young adult bible study program on Hope Channel. He resides in North Carolina with his wife Candis and their four children. 

    Should I Move For Love?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2022 40:35


    In today's episode, we explore the often difficult decision of picking up one's familiar life and moving to a new city, country or even continent for the sake of love. Some call this foolish. Others say it's the sweetest gesture of affection. We say it depends. Join us as we share our experiences moving for love and some key factors worth considering when facing such a decision in your life and relationships. 

    When Friends Don't Meet Expectations

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 31:48


    In this episode, we launch our discussion with a friendship question we've received regularly: what do I do when my friend hardly ever initiates contact?  Essentially, what do we do when a friend is not meeting our expectations of the friendship? Join us as we unpack this question and explore different friendship communication styles, how to evaluate the strength of a friendship and when to reconsider a friendship. 

    Dating Q&A - Does He Like Me? Should A Man Pursue? Attracted To Multiple People? Not Attracted?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2022 48:33


    In this episode, Callie and David tackle four dating questions submitted on Instagram recently by listeners! Here are the questions: 00:00 - How can you tell a guy likes you?12:25 - What does it mean to let a man pursue you, and is it even a legitimate principle to follow?30:26 - What to do when you are attracted to more than one person?41:20 - I've given them a chance, but I'm just not attracted to them. What do I do?Follow @davidburuchara on Instagram to keep posted on upcoming polls to submit your questions/requests for future episodes!

    Chore Wars: How To Keep Household Chores From Hurting Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2022 50:34


    80% of couples that live together disagree and stress about household chores. But these disagreements often say more about the relationship than the monotonous tasks being argued about! Whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, understanding how to navigate chores with the people you live with is an essential skill for a happier life. Join Callie and David as they share their chore war history and how they're learning to love each other through it. 

    Independence, Codependence, & Interdependence In Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 45:27


    In this episode, David and Callie discuss maintaining the delicate and beautiful balance of interdependence in relationships. On one side of the spectrum is independence, where too much of it means you don't have a relationship. The other side is codependence, where you can't tell the difference between two individuals because they are so enmeshed. We each tend to lean towards one side based on several factors (e.g. at the beginning of a relationship, more independence is reasonable). By first understanding where we lie, we can purpose to grow towards a healthy interdependence.

    Breadcrumbing 101

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2022 38:00


    In this episode, we move the opposite end of the spectrum from love bombing to focus on breadcrumbing. Breadcrumbing is a type of manipulation where one person keeps another's interest and devotion alive by feeding them the smallest possible bits of attention, often in an inconsistent manner. We discuss a key difference between breadcrumbing and misaligned expectations, then dive into how to spot breadcrumbing in its various forms, and how to stop the behavior in its tracks! 

    Giving & Receiving Feedback In Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2022 59:28


    In this episode, we explore how crucial giving feedback and receiving feedback is as an interpersonal skill for closer relationships. It can be really uncomfortable to give/receive feedback and to grow in this area with loved ones. But it is possible!  Feedback is not only a window into how others perceive us that might reveal much about ourselves, both positive and constructive. It is also a portal to building more intimate relationships. Step in with us!

    Do Relationships Take "Work"?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2022 32:49


    In this shorter episode, reacting to a comment from a New York Times article, Callie and David share their thoughts on what "work" means in a relationship. Should a relationship require work? How much work and what kind of work? Is there a danger in idolizing "work" and hardship/suffering in relationships? 

    Love Bombing 101

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 49:52


    In this episode, we discuss love bombing, a type of manipulation where someone “bombs” you with extreme displays of attention and affection in order to selfishly gain from it. It can happen early on in dating relationships but also in long-term abusive ones. We discuss how this is a key method used by narcissists and conmen, like the Tinder Swindler, but also discover more common yet subtle unintentional forms of love bombing in our relationships. Join us to learn what love bombing is, how to spot it, how to stop it, and how to recover from it. This is Love Bombing 101. 

    Agree to Disagree: Unresolvable Conflict In Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2022 58:05


    Is it ever okay to agree to disagree? Does doing so ever bring people closer together or only ever push them further apart? While there's much to say about this topic in our polarized society, in this episode, David and Callie open up about conflicts in their relationship where agreeing to disagree has gone both well and not so well. The Gottman Institute reports that 69% of conflict is unresolvable, meaning successful relationships are where people learn how to navigate instead of avoiding these conflicts. Join us as we dive into the details!

    How We Love/Attachment Theory (Part 2) with David & Callie

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2022 73:10


    Join Callie and David for the 2nd part of this short series on attachment theory, exploring how attachment explains our unique patterns for seeking and avoiding connection.  David and Callie have been reading through "How We Love" by Milan & Kay Yerkovich, a highly recommended resource to learn about your attachment (love) style and how to improve the quality of your relationships. In this episode, they reflect on their individual styles and how it has impacted their relationship. We hope this discussion inspires you to grab a copy - if you haven't already - and explore your attachment style on a deeper level!Check out these helpful resources  on attachment theory:How We Love by Milan & Kay YerkovichWired for Dating by Stan TatkinCreated for Connection by Sue Johnson

    How We Love/Attachment Theory (Part 1) with Dr. Torben Bergland

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 58:09


    in this episode, we're joined by Dr. Torben Bergland as he introduces us to the wonder that is attachment theory and why it's so important to understand in all our important relationships. We talk about why attachment theory differs from other common personality type tests, what it's so crucial to understanding both our own and loved ones' attachment styles for the health of our relationships, what each of the 4 attachment styles is, and how attachment theory impacts our spirituality.Check out these helpful books/resources Dr. Torben recommends on attachment theory:How We Love by Milan & Kay YerkovichWired for Dating by Stan TatkinCreated for Connection by Sue JohnsonDr. Torben Bergland is based in Silver Spring, Maryland and is originally from Norway.  As a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, he has taken a special interest in working with patients with depression, anxiety, and personality disorders, as well as integrating relational, religious and existential perspectives in psychotherapy.  He serves as the Associate Directors of the Health Ministries Department of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, the global headquarter of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. with a special focus on mental health, and health and wellbeing of church workers.

    Marking the Moment, Impostor Syndrome, & Self Care with Heather Thompson Day

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2022 49:27


    In this episode, Heather Thompson Day fulfills her promise, returning to celebrate two answered prayers that she and David spoke about in her first guest appearance (Episode 52). Join Heather and David as they share their testimonies and touch on a range of different topics such as journaling, self-care, the enneagram,  impostor syndrome,  and her upcoming book "I'll See You Tomorrow".Dr. Heather Thompson Day is an associate professor of communication at Andrews University, with a gift of inspiring young people through her speaking and writing. She's an author of 7 books including It's Not Your Turn, and Confessions of a Christian Wife. She's also the host of the Viral Jesus podcast and runs an online community called I'm That Wife which has over 200k followers. Heather resides in Michigan, with her husband, Seth Day, and their three children, London, Hudson, and Sawyer Day.Follow Heather onInstagram: @heatherthompsondayHer website: heatherthompsonday.com

    Perfectionism

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2022 47:16


    What does perfectionism mean to you? And what does perfectionistic thinking look like in your day-to-day life? Is it healthy or is there a better way? In this week's episode, Callie and David talk about perfectionism in their lives and explore a more healthy method to grow and mature in excellence. This discussion applies to all parts of life, including relationships.

    Sexual Trauma - Part 3 with Dr. Karen Abdool

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2022 53:14


    In this episode, we conclude our 3-part series on Sexual Trauma with special guest, Dr. Karen Abdool. The courage to confront the difficult and dark parts of our stories comes from the God-given reality that they need not define our present and future. Dr. Karen begins by sharing the various effects of sexual trauma on women and men that often go unnoticed, then goes on to share about her personal journey of healing and recovery, along with how she was able to reconcile God's love for her after decades of doubt. The discussion ends by highlighting that sex is beautiful and that sex is from God.Dr. Karen Abdool,  MD, Ph.D., is a psychiatrist and founder of Berrylium Psychiatric Services, providing personalized medical care to people suffering from depression, emotional stress, complex trauma, post-traumatic stress, and anxiety.  She unites her training in refugee mental health, with her understanding of human physiology and immunology to create a unique philosophy of healthcare.Check out our Mental Health book list for a couple of books related to sexual trauma & recovery!

    Sexual Trauma - Part 2 with Dr. Karen Abdool

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 44:30


    [Trigger Warning: sexual abuse, harm, & violence].In this episode, we continue our 3-part series on Sexual Trauma with special guest, Dr. Karen Abdool. where we explore her story of trauma and healing. Join us as we expand our understanding of what constitutes sexual abuse and talk about some common complexities that lead to survivors  discounting abuse such as experiencing arousal/pleasure or "freezing" during assault, as opposed to flight (resisting an abuser)00:00 - Defining sexual abuse14:04 - Expanding our understanding of sexual abuse20:30 - Arousal during sexual abuse35:42 - Date rape and Dr. Karen's 2nd assault Dr. Karen Abdool,  MD, Ph.D., is a psychiatrist and founder of Berrylium Psychiatric Services, providing personalized medical care to people suffering from depression, emotional stress, complex trauma, post-traumatic stress, and anxiety.  She unites her training in refugee mental health, with her understanding of human physiology and immunology to create a unique philosophy of healthcare.Check out our Mental Health book list for a couple of books related to sexual trauma & recovery!

    Sexual Trauma - Part 1 with Dr. Karen Abdool

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2022 51:18


    [Trigger Warning: sexual abuse, harm, & violence]. This week marks the beginning of a new 3-part series on Sexual Trauma with special guest, Dr. Karen Abdool, where we explore her story of trauma and healing.  In this first episode, Dr. Karen's introduces us to her childhood, describing the context and experiences that shaped her sexual education. She also courageously recounts the events and aftermath of her first sexual assault. Join us as we begin to confront the awfulness that is sexual abuse and why it can be so difficult, especially for children, to speak up about such experiences. 00:00 - Intro to Sexual Trauma series05:37 - Dr. Karen's intro10:09 - Understanding resilience17:22 - Dr. Karen's childhood & sex education32:19 - Dr. Karen's first sexual assault  [TW]37:47 - The challenges of speaking up about sexual assault [TW]49:28  - Closing thoughtsDr. Karen Abdool,  MD, Ph.D., is a psychiatrist who founded Berrylium Psychiatric Services, providing personalized medical care to people suffering from depression, emotional stress, complex trauma, post-traumatic stress, and anxiety.  She unites her training in refugee mental health, with her understanding of human physiology and immunology to create a unique philosophy of healthcare.Check out our Mental Health book list for a couple of books related to sexual trauma & recovery!

    Let's Talk About Therapy/Counseling - Pt 3 with Dr. Ruth Stephen Koilpillai

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2022 79:40


    In this episode, we're joined by special guest and clinical psychologist, Dr. Ruth Stephen Koilpillai, for the final episode of our 3-part series discussing therapy/counseling. Join Ruth and David as they talk about Ruth's story, the role & benefits of therapy in helping us thrive from a psychologist's POV, and reconciling therapy & psychology with the Christian faith. It gets deep!Check out our Mental Health book recommendations here! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dCJxuCG_JHNoMWM5-WZYCR1Z19XuIm2r51PKlMUx9_U/edit?usp=sharing

    Let's Talk About Therapy/Counseling - Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2022 62:51


    In this episode, Callie and David continue a 3-part series discussing therapy/counseling. They pick up continuing to discuss common hesitations that arise when considering therapy and also dive into how you can practically go about finding an affordable counselor or therapist in your area.The 3rd part of the series will be a Q&A with a licensed clinical psychologist, so please pass on your questions, reactions, and thoughts! We want to hear from you, yes you! Submission details are shared at the beginning of this episode.

    Let's Talk About Therapy/Counseling - Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2022 56:26


    In this episode, Callie and David begin a 3-part series discussing therapy/counseling. The idea of therapy and counseling may have a unique meaning for you depending on your culture, religious background, and previous experience with therapy or counseling.  As you consider what therapy means to you, you are welcome to the table as David and Callie share their own experiences in today's episode and why they believe everyone should consider therapy. They also share a few essential things to know about the field of therapy/counseling and begin to address common hesitations people have about therapy/counseling. The 3rd part of the series will be a Q&A with a licensed psychologist, so please pass on your questions, experiences, and thoughts! We want to hear from you, yes you! Submission details are shared at the beginning of this episode.

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