Healing CPTSD is a podcast dedicated to healing from childhood trauma and complex PTSD. Join your host, Bianca Winter-Mallari, a trauma informed counsellor, somatic therapist, founder of Embodied Self Therapy and fellow childhood trauma survivor. Here we’ll explore the nuanced world of trauma, unpacking topics such as toxic family systems, intergenerational trauma, attachment, dissociation and shame. We’ll also explore pathways to recovery through somatics and embodiment, nervous system regulation, parts work, community and trauma informed care.
In this episode, we explore the fawn response and why agreement doesn't always mean consent. We unpack how fawning and appeasement can become survival strategies, how power dynamics shape them, and what healing can look like when it comes to saying no, tolerating tension, and staying connected to yourself.Article: When Agreement is Not Consent. Appeasement is the trauma response no one is talking about.By Rae Johnson and Nkem NdefoNeed to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
This week on Healing CPTSD, we explore the foundations of healing from complex trauma and why the basics matter. We unpack sleep, movement, nourishment, connection, nature, and meaning, and how trauma can disconnect us from our body's needs. We also look at why therapy is only one part of healing and how small changes can support recovery.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
This week, we explore the nervous system regulation trap: when healing becomes another productivity project. We unpack why being regulated all the time was never the goal, how self-awareness can become hypervigilance, and when regulation tools become another form of avoidance. We also look at systemic stress and what a more human approach to healing can look like: flexibility, capacity, embodiment, and actually living your life.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode, we explore what trauma therapy actually looks like beyond simply talking about your childhood. We unpack the three core parts of the healing process: processing past experiences with safety and compassion, moving from insight into embodied healing through nervous system regulation, and reconnecting with who you are beyond survival mode.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode, we explore how to know if you're ready for therapy, what makes a therapeutic relationship the right fit, and how trauma-informed therapy helps you move beyond insight into lasting healing. I also share who I tend to work with, who my approach isn't for, and what you can expect from working together.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode, we explore why you can spend months or even years in therapy and still feel stuck, the seven most common reasons healing can plateau, how to recognise when insight has become your comfort zone, why real change happens through practice and integration between sessions, and what meaningful progress in trauma recovery actually looks like.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode, we explore why self-awareness is only the beginning of trauma healing, why understanding your patterns doesn't automatically change them, and how embodiment and integration help you finally create lasting change. We unpack why you can know exactly why you react the way you do and still feel stuck in the same patterns, how awareness can sometimes become another survival strategy, and what it really takes to create lasting change in your nervous system.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we'll be talking about why so many trauma survivors struggle to ask for help and how hyper-independence, avoidance, and the fear of opening up can keep us stuck in survival mode. We also explore why some people have been hurt in therapy, the importance of trauma-informed support, and what becomes possible when healing happens through safety, relationship, and learning to receive help.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we'll be talking about high-functioning trauma, why so many trauma survivors look like they have it all together while feeling disconnected, exhausted, or numb inside, and how survival mode can hide behind traits like independence, productivity, and people pleasing. We explore how trauma shapes our identity, why healing isn't about becoming a perfect version of yourself, and how embodiment, boundaries, rest, and self-connection can help you start landing back in your life again.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode, we'll explore the difference between blame and responsibility, and how trauma can leave us feeling powerless, stuck, frozen, or disconnected from our own sense of agency (minus the toxic positivity or denial of the very real systems and circumstances that shape our lives). And of course, we'll talk about the gradual process of reclaiming your ability to participate in your own life again after trauma. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this week's episode of Healing CPTSD, we'll be talking about over functioning in relationships – why trauma survivors often become the caretakers, fixers, and emotional managers, and how these patterns quietly disconnect us from our own needs. We explore how childhood trauma conditions us to associate love with usefulness, emotional labour, hypervigilance, and self abandonment – but most importantly, how we can start to break free from these patterns and start cultivating reciprocal relationships. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
This episode of Healing CPTSD explores why so many trauma survivors struggle to slow down, why rest can feel deeply uncomfortable for the nervous system, and how our worth becomes tied to productivity inside systems that profit from our exhaustion. We talk about trauma, hypervigilance, burnout, late stage capitalism, and the ways we have been conditioned to override our body's natural rhythms. This conversation is an invitation to reconnect with rest as something deeply human, necessary, and healing.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
Feeling lost? In this episode, we'll be talking about purpose, identity, and why so many trauma survivors feel disconnected from direction, meaning, and themselves. We unpack the pressure to tie purpose to productivity, success, or career achievement, and why healing often creates the capacity to reconnect with curiosity, creativity, play, and possibility again. This conversation is a gentle reminder that purpose does not have to be one grand calling! It can evolve across different seasons of life, and sometimes healing itself is the purpose.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this week's episode of Healing CPTSD, we'll be talking about mastering no contact, why boundaries can feel so terrifying for trauma survivors, and how childhood trauma wires us to prioritise connection over authenticity and self protection. We explore the grief that often comes with distancing yourself from family, the guilt and self doubt that can surface, and why so many people stay in harmful dynamics far longer than they should.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we'll talk about the cycle of rupture and repair in relationships and why repair, not avoiding conflict, builds trust, safety, and intimacy. With complex trauma, rupture can feel threatening and lead to shutdown, people pleasing, avoidance, or defensiveness, especially without healthy models of repair. I share how I approach repair by pausing when things escalate, coming back when I am regulated, naming what happened, taking accountability, and listening with curiosity. Over time, repair helps retrain the nervous system to see that conflict does not always mean loss and that reconnection is possible.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this short episode, we'll explore why self trust can feel difficult, especially if you grew up staying small, being shut down, or people pleasing to stay safe, and how to rebuild it. Self trust is not about perfect decisions, but about building a relationship with yourself by listening inward, recognising your needs, and following through on small consistent actions. Breaking small promises can weaken that trust, while keeping them builds an internal sense of reliability. Progress also includes repair, noticing when you slip and trying again with kindness.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this short, we'll explore the difference between intuition and anxiety, and why it can feel so hard to tell them apart. We look at how overthinking can cloud our inner knowing and how coming back into the body can help bring more clarity. I also touch on the role of regulation and creating a bit more space in your day so you can actually hear yourself. A simple, reflective episode if you've been feeling unsure or second-guessing yourself.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
This episode is more of a behind the scenes, day in the life of a therapist – a personal share about what's been nourishing me lately. Life has been slowing down in some really beautiful ways and I've been leaning into a softer pace of living. I talk about the small rituals and practices that help me stay grounded while running a growing practice. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode of Healing CPTSD, I take you behind the scenes on how I self-regulate when I'm spiraling. As a somatic therapist, who tends to get stuck in her head, I ground myself by tuning into simple body sensations . I'll share the approach and tools that help me reconnect, without overcomplicating things. If you've been caught in the headspace lately, come join me and let's drop back into the body.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
Men aren't the problem — patriarchy is. In this episode, I explore how patriarchy harms men by teaching boys that strength, stoicism, dominance, and achievement define their worth, while vulnerability is unsafe. When normal human needs for connection and support go unmet, that pressure can turn into shame, loneliness, anger, and disconnection, feeding toxic masculinity and making healthy relationships harder. I also touch on the rise of red pill ideology, which often validates men's pain but redirects it into blame, domination, and misogyny. I close by talking about what healing masculinity could look like — expanding what men are allowed to be through emotional honesty, regulation, community, tenderness, and accountability.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode, I talk about what I call “goodness conditioning” — the pressure many of us feel to be easy, agreeable, and not rock the boat. For people with childhood trauma or CPTSD, these patterns often began as survival strategies. Over time this can create a disconnect between what you say yes to and what your body actually feels, often leading to burnout, resentment, and losing touch with yourself. In this episode, I share how we can begin gently shifting this pattern by noticing the body's cues, giving ourselves time before responding, and practicing small moments of honesty that rebuild trust with ourselves.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this episode of Healing CPTSD, we unpack anxiety. Rather than focusing on labels or diagnosis, we'll understand anxiety through a trauma informed, nervous system lens, acknowledging it as a survival response. I also walk you through some gentle, practical ways to work with anxiety instead of against it.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERY
In this week's episode, we're looking at what it really means to have a sense of self, and why it can feel unclear or missing after complex trauma. When survival has shaped your identity, it's common to lose touch with your needs, preferences, boundaries, and inner voice. We'll talk about how trauma impacts identity development and explore practical ways to reconnect with who you are now: through embodiment, values, and small experiments in self-expression and choice. Need to work with a trauma informed therapist?
This episode invites you into a gentle exploration of the concept of embodiment — what it truly means to be in your body, and how you can begin cultivating safety, awareness and self-connection at a pace that honours your nervous system. We dive into how trauma impacts your ability to feel present in your body, why embodiment can feel difficult or unsafe, and the foundational steps that help you rebuild a sense of inner safety.Need to work with a trauma informed therapist?
In this episode, we're exploring one of the most essential pieces of trauma recovery: safety.Safety is so much more than the absence of threat. Through a trauma-informed lens, it's about connection, choice, and regulation. Together, we'll unpack what safety really means, why it's so central to healing, and how trauma reshapes our ability to sense when we are safe.I'll guide you through concepts like neuroception and polyvagal theory, and share practical tools you can use to cultivate a deeper sense of safety — both within yourself and in your relationships. From body cues and rituals to boundary-setting, this conversation is all about reclaiming safety as a foundation for growth and healing.
In this episode. I'll be guiding you through a Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) practice. NSDR is a simple yet powerful way to calm your nervous system, regulate stress, and invite deep restoration.Before we begin, I'll share what NSDR is and why it's such a supportive tool for trauma recovery and everyday overwhelm. Then, I'll lead you through a 15 minute practice you can use anytime you need to reset, rest, or restore. Save this one for whenever you're needing nourishment. 07:45 – NSDR guided practice
I'll guide you through a short simple, somatic practice designed to gently lift you out of states of collapse, shutdown or dissociation. This movement practice explores the connection between posture and the nervous system, helping you shift back into presence with compassion and care. Save this one for later!Need to work with a trauma informed therapist? BOOK IN YOUR 1:1 SESSIONS WITH MEBOOK A FREE 15 MIN CHEMISTRY CALLRESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR RECOVERYTrigger Toolkit FREE DownloadNervous System WorkbooksEMBODY The Workshop
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