I Have to Ask

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen have a tough listener question about what to do when a relative is an alcoholic and don't think the environment is safe for the relative's kid. To answer this question, they're joined by Lisa Smith from Parallel Recovery. They unpack how to set real boundaries with family members without shaming them; acceptable ultimatums; how to “pre-game” for tough situations; and more.  But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails. We've got two triumphs and a tribulation this episode. Lucy is triumphing over breakfast and Zac and his lovely wife had a Halloween-themed getaway. But Elizabeth is stressing over a big solo trip with the kids.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Jonquilyn Hill, host of Vox's Explain It To Me podcast. The pair chat about how the internet used to celebrate Halloween, from spooky Twitter display names to Snapchat filters, and why no one wants to be earnest online anymore. However, today's internet is still filled with plenty of scary stuff, with r/nosleep still going strong, ghost sightings going viral on TikTok, and LinkedIn. That's it. Just LinkedIn.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andrew Zaleski couldn't stop snoring. Fed up, he did what any good journalist would do: He started digging. On this episode of How To!, Andrew tells Courtney Martin about his investigation into sawing logs, his experiments with anti-snoring devices, and what he learned from sleep experts while reporting his recent story for Slate. Episodes Mentioned:  How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier) How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship How To Sleep Like a Champ Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the early-morning hours of October 2, 2023, progressive activist and organizer Ryan Carson was stabbed and killed by a stranger on a Brooklyn sidewalk. His girlfriend Claudia Morales—who witnessed the crime, attempted CPR, and dialed 911—quickly became the target of sensationalist online posting. Internet trolls falsely claimed that she didn't cooperate with law enforcement and suggested that she and Ryan were, first and foremost, anti-police activists.  This week, Claudia talks to Anna about what it's like to become a flattened character in the online culture wars, and she explains what the online provocateurs get wrong about who she is and who Ryan was.  This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen are joined by ICYMI host Kate Lindsay to discuss viral slang like “67” and “41” and what it all means. They unpack the difference between “bro” and “bruh” (it's huge!), why the harmless bit of brain rot might actually be good for kids, and more!  Later, they discuss a listener's question: “how do I, a childless aunt, talk to my nieces and nephews without it feeling awkward”. Also. Sphincter says what? If you're not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you'll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by writer and streamer Laura Kate Dale to talk about what happened to Emiru at this year's TwitchCon. The streamer was assaulted during a meet-and-greet, after a number of female streamers had already dropped out of the convention in fear for their safety. What is it about TwitchCon that makes creators feel unsafe, and why are female streamers, in particular, still paying the price?  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen have a triple…fail. Lucy clapped back to her teen, Elizabeth said the thing to her kids she promised she never would, and Zak is now dealing with injuries from a bike accident.  Then, they get a listener triumph with a game-ified way of doing chores and earning allowance. The ‘Rents dig into what they do in their homes for chores and debate whether Lucy should let her kid hire someone to clean her room.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Slate staff writer Luke Winkie to talk about Twitch streamer Hasan Piker, who some viewers have accused of shocking his dog on his livestream. Winkie spent time with Piker and his dog, Kaya, for Slate earlier this year, and helps debunk the misinformation currently being spread by cloutchasers and right-wing media figures alike. He also answers the most important question of them all: Just how soft is Kaya's fur, exactly? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you recently lost your job—or think you might lose it soon—Laura Brown and Kristina O'Neill are here to help! On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace talks to the authors of All the Cool Girls Get Fired about what to do when you get the ax—and how to turn termination into a real opportunity.  If you liked this conversation, check out the Slate podcast Death, Sex & Money's recent episode on “Why Job Hunting Feels So Grim Lately, Especially for Gen Z.” Looking for a different kind of career advice? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christine Brown Woolley grew up in Utah with a dad and two moms, in a polygamist community called the Apostolic United Brethren. When she became an adult, she joined a polygamist marriage as a third wife, helped raise more than a dozen kids, and became co-star of the TLC reality show Sister Wives.  Fast forward to 2025, and she has left her marriage and her polygamist faith. This week, she talks to Anna about the pros and cons of her former lifestyle, how being on a reality show helped her family to confront and process conflicts, and why she's so happy being re-married and monogamous. Her new memoir is Sister Wife: A Memoir of Faith, Family, and Finding Freedom.  This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/DSM⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Friend of the show Jamilah Lemieux tackles helping kids get a better night's sleep. She's joined by gentle sleep coach Macall Gordon. They discuss what to do with “live-wire kids”, how to avoid burnout when trying to get your kid to sleep, why we need to stop blaming parents for kid sleep issues, and more.  But first, Care and Feeding producer Cheyna Roth joins the team to talk about a recent New York Times piece, “How Video Games Are Shaping a Generation of Boys, for Better and Worse”. They dig into the pros and cons of gaming as a social activity, whether it's possible to get kids to touch grass anymore, and how to navigate these tricky waters.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay celebrate Candice's three years at ICYMI, and send her off onto her next chapter. They talk Dan and Phil's hard launch, Connor Franta and Troye Sivan's Instagram beef, and the major predictions Candice has for the internet in 2026. If Luigi Mangione ever walks free, he knows who to call… Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay get into tech's latest effort to turn A.I. into a status symbol. Anthropic has been pushing “Thinking” caps into the trendy streets of New York. OpenAI has been handing out awards for power users akin to YouTube subscriber plaques. But one of the worst offenders is Friend, a $129 wearable necklace that spent a million dollars to infiltrate subway stations and bus stops. Why are A.I. companies trying so hard to be trendy? And how are people revolting against them? Finally, we have some news.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Contemporary women are primal-screaming and hitting rage rooms, but are these really the solutions to our personal and political anger? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with Soraya Chemaly, journalist and author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, about her own recent upsurge of anger. Soraya explains how to identify, understand, and harness what's bottled up inside you—and use it for change. If you liked this episode check out How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower and How To Be Lonely.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the new movie Sovereign, actor Nick Offerman plays an extremist who doesn't believe in the legitimacy of the Federal government. In real life, Nick comes from a small-town political family. His father is the mayor of Minooka, Illinois, and his uncle is on the village board. In this episode Nick talks about choosing roles, how he's different from his family, his love of teaching woodworking and the profound influence of poet Wendell Berry. Listen to our 2018 interview: Nick Offerman Can Take Directions Podcast production by Andrew Dunn Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by culture writer Aja Romano to try to make sense of Theo Von. Von was one of the podcasters credited with helping Donald Trump win the election, but in recent months, he's deviated from the administration when it comes to his views on ICE raids and the war in Gaza. Who is Theo Von, really? What does it mean that influencers like him are part of the future of politics? And what does it say about us if we find him…kinda funny? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth joins Zak Rosen and Elizabeth Newcamp to debate wedding ceremony etiquette. A listener's kid is the flower girl at a friend's wedding. But now it turns out the flower girl is NOT invited to the wedding reception. Is this fair? They dig into whether kids make a wedding better, logistics, and more.  But first, in another edition of Triumphs and Fails, Cheyna deals with a week-long bus cancellation, Elizabeth celebrates a big birthday, and Zak has to deal with Tooth Fairy fallout. Mentioned In the Episode: Who Owns the Tooth Fairy? - Decoder Ring Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim wade through the negative reactions to Taylor Swift's album The Life of a Showgirl. From outdated meme references to clunky shots at other female artists, Swift's album indicates an oddly distant relationship with the internet. However, is she a devious online mastermind or a blundering millennial? Plus, why it's important that this album's backlash has gone largely unchallenged by fellow Swifties. Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jen is raising a pretty stellar 9-year-old son. With his tween and teen years on the horizon, she wants to steer him toward kindness, acceptance, and openness—and away from the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace brings on Ashanti Branch, founder of The Ever Forward Club and host of unMASKing with Male Educators. Ashanti offers his advice on talking with boys about their emotions, understanding the “mask” that young men present to the world, and building trust and confidence—by acknowledging that adults don't have all the answers. If you liked this episode check out: How To Parent Less and How To Make Friends … Like a Man Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Photojournalist Peter Van Agtmael once believed war images could change the world. But after two decades documenting violence, his views and soul were deeply altered. In this episode, he reflects on America's conflicts at home and abroad, truth in photography, and what happens when your work is co-opted for someone else's agenda. Peter's book is called “Look at the U.S.A.: A Diary of War and Home,“ and he has a show at the Corcoran School of the Arts and Design until January 25th. You can see his 2015 KKK wedding photo here.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen have a question from a mom who is TOUCHED OUT. The ‘Rents give parents everywhere permission to establish boundaries and walk away from kids when they're being too aggressive or just won't leave them alone.  But first, they share their latest insight into the Labubu community and dealing with the big trends your kids HAVE to be a part of.  This week in Slate Plus: Recommendations for lunches and snacks kids can take to school. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by Slate senior editor Tony Ho Tran to talk about why it matters that EA Games has been sold to Saudi Arabia and Jared Kushner. In addition to likely cost-cutting, this new ownership puts games like The Sims even more at risk of censorship, especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ characters. If your Sim groom can't end up making out with his new father-in-law at the end of his wedding, then what is The Sims even for? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen get real about onesies. A Slate mom wants to know if she can buy her son onesies about her. He has a lot that celebrates his dad, like “daddy's little xyz” but none about his mom! They dish on favorite onesies, whether these outfits are actually terrible, and more. But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails: what happens when a sitter soft cancels, how to deal with a missing lovie, and an incredible reunion between Zak and Elizabeth.  Mentioned in the Show: Martha of Miami Jia Collection Elephant & Co. If you're not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you'll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay pour one out for MTV's Catfish, which was recently cancelled by MTV after 9 seasons and 12 years. Back in 2010, Nev Schulman was the subject of the Catfish documentary, which revealed the heartbreaking truth about a woman he fell in love with online. The documentary helped coin the internet phenomenon of people creating fake personas to manipulate, extort, or trick others online. However, instead of scamming for money, the protagonists of MTV's Catfish were coerced into emotional relationships that turned their rom-coms into horror films. With Catfish leaving the airwaves, what has changed about the show (and the internet) since its inception? And why couldn't the show keep up with a scam culture that is more advanced than ever before? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She's excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she's also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureate. Ada offers Lauren guidance on finding strength and joy in this unplanned chapter of her life—and on rethinking our own expectations for our bodies and our lives. If you liked this episode check out How To Become a Parent Overnight and How To Build a Marriage That Lasts.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Anna learns about how frustrating it is to apply for jobs these days, especially for early-career folks, even those with college degrees. First, Jeopardy champion Brendan Liaw talks about what it was like to list his job as “stay-at-home son” on national television. Then Slate writer Nitish Pahwa explains why talented people like Brendan are having such a hard time securing work. And finally, Anna discusses the growing prevalence of layoffs with Melanie Ehrenkranz, who writes a newsletter appropriately called Laid Off.  Mentioned in the episode:  “Why Are There No F-ing Jobs?” -Nitish Pahwa Is A.I. Taking Your Job? -What Next TBD This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by Spitfire News writer Kat Tenbarge to discuss how reactions to Charlie Kirk's death are prompting us to reexamine free speech. In her piece, “Is anyone going to defend free speech online?” she explains how this right has long been under threat. From legal challenges to biased algorithms, the internet is being censored right before our eyes—but there are still ways we can fight back.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy, Zak, and Elizabeth mark Child Passenger Safety Week with a conversation about car seats. Child passenger safety technician Jamie Grayson joins to break down the basics: how to install correctly, when to switch stages, and the mistakes parents don't even realize they're making. Here is the NHTSA car seat safety page. Listen to our last episode with Jamie: Car Seat Safety Explained! Then, in a round of triumphs and fails, the hosts tackle tough conversations about sharing, the tricky art of trusting kids' street smarts, and Zak's rude awakening about how much a Labubu really costs.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay break down the drama between Vlogbrothers star Hank Green and the online knitting community. Earlier this month, Green posted an educational SciShow episode about the knitting community's contribution to physics. What the SciShow team didn't expect were almost 30-minute long reaction videos and accusations of belittling and misogyny. This saga has spurred apology TikToks, vows to knit simple socks, and a bigger discussion about how an offline pastime became one of the most drama-filled communities online. Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners' takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes. Links Mentioned:  My Old Books Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the past few months, we've been asking you to tell us stories about your beauty interventions. You told us about feeling caught between viewing appearance improvements as vanity and recognizing how much looking a certain way affects your relationships, career, and self-worth. In this episode, Anna talks to listeners about their appearance choices: Asher, who spent $43,000 on plastic surgery and openly celebrates his investments; Caroline, who used fillers and Botox after her divorce but recently filed for bankruptcy and can no longer afford treatments; Alexandra, who stopped dyeing her gray hair at 38 despite pushback from family; and Nick, whose multiple cosmetic surgeries nearly ended his marriage and forced him to confront deeper issues. Read Nick Dothée's essay: What Plastic Surgery Couldn't Fix Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/DSM⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy and Elizabeth are joined by guest host Rebecca Onion to dive into her and Dan Kois' definitive list of the 25 best picture books of the last quarter century. Which modern stories have staying power? Which books belong beside the classics on your child's shelf? The hosts debate and delight in the choices. But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails: hiding snacks, an urgent care scare, and a  deeply irrational fears.  If you're not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you'll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by sociologist and content creator Josh Lora, who goes by @tellthebeees on TikTok and Substack. In his viral piece, “The Mainstreaming of Loserdom,” Lora explores how a generation of people is becoming proudly anti-social, often in favor of staying home on their phones. While less and less people may be partying, they're not exactly happy about it. Are we doomed to doomscroll, or can we fight for our right to party again? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reporter and former Care & Feeding host Aymann Ismail joins Elizabeth & Lucy to talk about how to approach conversations with kids about violence in the news. The hosts discuss ways to frame scary or divisive headlines, how to balance honesty with reassurance, and how parents can manage their own reactions while guiding kids through uncertain times. Plus, Lucy reflects on her own experience processing the past week's difficult news. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus.  Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Slate senior writer Ben Mathis-Lilley to say goodbye after eleven years at Slate. Ben was responsible for iconic stories like “Wouldn't It Be Nice to Get Knocked Out Cold With a Shovel for Exactly Six Weeks and Five Days?”, and is known as the “funniest person in Slack” despite spending his days reporting on our terrifying political climate. How does Ben stay sane and positive online when the internet is engulfed with bad news? One thing's for certain: It's not in his University of Michigan football Discord.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn't), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carvell wrestling with an ongoing major project, Dr. Spiegel tests our host's hypnotizability—then leads him through an exercise aimed at confronting procrastination. Learn more about Dr. Spiegel and his self-hypnosis app, Reveri. If you liked this episode, check out How To Stop Being Anxious and How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Megan Greenwell was 34 she landed a coveted job in journalism as the editor-in-chief of the sports and culture blog, Deadspin. Just over a year later a post about why she was resigning went viral – a private equity firm had bought Deadspin's parent company, and was seeking "a quick cash-out rather than the growth that comes from a well-run business." Her experience led her to spend six years investigating the industry for her book Bad Company: Private Equity and the Death of the American Dream which follows four Americans whose lives were upended by private equity takeovers in retail, healthcare, housing, and media. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener writes in about a toddler who loves bringing toys to the playground but rarely wants to share them. The hosts unpack why sharing is so tough at this age, how parents can set expectations, and their own philosophies on how kids—and adults—learn to share. Plus, check-ins: Lucy brings a delightfully funny Italian-American teen romance story to the table. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by writer Virgie Tovar, whose latest podcast, GLP-1 Truth Serum, explores the predatory nature of GLP-1 marketing, and companies' attempts to target plus-size creators. But #BodyPositivity was getting backlash long before these new weight loss drugs became trendy, and now social media has gone from a safe space to a minefield. Is #BodyPositivity really gone for good?  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

tell kids about divorce. Zak, Elizabeth, and Lucy  share advice on language that reassures, pitfalls to avoid, and ways to keep the focus on love and stability. Plus, triumphs and fails: Friday night plans go awry, shoe shopping mishaps, and a school drop-off turns into a win. Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream Books Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus.  Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim dive into the online conversations surrounding recent Saturday Night Live cast announcements. With departing fan favorites (such as Heidi Gardner) come the arrival of new talent, and for the past few years, SNL has been sourcing their talent from your For You Page. From TikTok-prominent comedian Veronika Slowikowska to Dropout regular Jeremy Culhane, what does it mean when internet comedians step into Studio 8H? Do they need SNL, or does SNL need them more? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alice has an objectively cool job. She programs film festivals and gets to watch documentaries for a living. But that living is also stressful: It's low-paying, seasonal work that provides some status, sure, but not much stability. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on atheist chaplain and author Vanessa Zoltan, who spent two years helping countless people decide whether to quit (or not) on her podcast The Real Question. Vanessa shares what she learned from those conversations—and helps Alice figure out how to reimagine her life (with job security).  If you liked this episode check out How To Switch Careers in Midlife, How To Take a Sabbatical, and How To Know When to Quit Your Job.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices