I Have to Ask

On this episode: Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth joins Zak Rosen and Elizabeth Newcamp to debate wedding ceremony etiquette. A listener's kid is the flower girl at a friend's wedding. But now it turns out the flower girl is NOT invited to the wedding reception. Is this fair? They dig into whether kids make a wedding better, logistics, and more.  But first, in another edition of Triumphs and Fails, Cheyna deals with a week-long bus cancellation, Elizabeth celebrates a big birthday, and Zak has to deal with Tooth Fairy fallout. Mentioned In the Episode: Who Owns the Tooth Fairy? - Decoder Ring Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim wade through the negative reactions to Taylor Swift's album The Life of a Showgirl. From outdated meme references to clunky shots at other female artists, Swift's album indicates an oddly distant relationship with the internet. However, is she a devious online mastermind or a blundering millennial? Plus, why it's important that this album's backlash has gone largely unchallenged by fellow Swifties. Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jen is raising a pretty stellar 9-year-old son. With his tween and teen years on the horizon, she wants to steer him toward kindness, acceptance, and openness—and away from the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace brings on Ashanti Branch, founder of The Ever Forward Club and host of unMASKing with Male Educators. Ashanti offers his advice on talking with boys about their emotions, understanding the “mask” that young men present to the world, and building trust and confidence—by acknowledging that adults don't have all the answers. If you liked this episode check out: How To Parent Less and How To Make Friends … Like a Man Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Photojournalist Peter Van Agtmael once believed war images could change the world. But after two decades documenting violence, his views and soul were deeply altered. In this episode, he reflects on America's conflicts at home and abroad, truth in photography, and what happens when your work is co-opted for someone else's agenda. Peter's book is called “Look at the U.S.A.: A Diary of War and Home,“ and he has a show at the Corcoran School of the Arts and Design until January 25th. You can see his 2015 KKK wedding photo here.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen have a question from a mom who is TOUCHED OUT. The ‘Rents give parents everywhere permission to establish boundaries and walk away from kids when they're being too aggressive or just won't leave them alone.  But first, they share their latest insight into the Labubu community and dealing with the big trends your kids HAVE to be a part of.  This week in Slate Plus: Recommendations for lunches and snacks kids can take to school. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by Slate senior editor Tony Ho Tran to talk about why it matters that EA Games has been sold to Saudi Arabia and Jared Kushner. In addition to likely cost-cutting, this new ownership puts games like The Sims even more at risk of censorship, especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ characters. If your Sim groom can't end up making out with his new father-in-law at the end of his wedding, then what is The Sims even for? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen get real about onesies. A Slate mom wants to know if she can buy her son onesies about her. He has a lot that celebrates his dad, like “daddy's little xyz” but none about his mom! They dish on favorite onesies, whether these outfits are actually terrible, and more. But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails: what happens when a sitter soft cancels, how to deal with a missing lovie, and an incredible reunion between Zak and Elizabeth.  Mentioned in the Show: Martha of Miami Jia Collection Elephant & Co. If you're not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you'll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay pour one out for MTV's Catfish, which was recently cancelled by MTV after 9 seasons and 12 years. Back in 2010, Nev Schulman was the subject of the Catfish documentary, which revealed the heartbreaking truth about a woman he fell in love with online. The documentary helped coin the internet phenomenon of people creating fake personas to manipulate, extort, or trick others online. However, instead of scamming for money, the protagonists of MTV's Catfish were coerced into emotional relationships that turned their rom-coms into horror films. With Catfish leaving the airwaves, what has changed about the show (and the internet) since its inception? And why couldn't the show keep up with a scam culture that is more advanced than ever before? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She's excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she's also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureate. Ada offers Lauren guidance on finding strength and joy in this unplanned chapter of her life—and on rethinking our own expectations for our bodies and our lives. If you liked this episode check out How To Become a Parent Overnight and How To Build a Marriage That Lasts.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Anna learns about how frustrating it is to apply for jobs these days, especially for early-career folks, even those with college degrees. First, Jeopardy champion Brendan Liaw talks about what it was like to list his job as “stay-at-home son” on national television. Then Slate writer Nitish Pahwa explains why talented people like Brendan are having such a hard time securing work. And finally, Anna discusses the growing prevalence of layoffs with Melanie Ehrenkranz, who writes a newsletter appropriately called Laid Off.  Mentioned in the episode:  “Why Are There No F-ing Jobs?” -Nitish Pahwa Is A.I. Taking Your Job? -What Next TBD This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by Spitfire News writer Kat Tenbarge to discuss how reactions to Charlie Kirk's death are prompting us to reexamine free speech. In her piece, “Is anyone going to defend free speech online?” she explains how this right has long been under threat. From legal challenges to biased algorithms, the internet is being censored right before our eyes—but there are still ways we can fight back.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy, Zak, and Elizabeth mark Child Passenger Safety Week with a conversation about car seats. Child passenger safety technician Jamie Grayson joins to break down the basics: how to install correctly, when to switch stages, and the mistakes parents don't even realize they're making. Here is the NHTSA car seat safety page. Listen to our last episode with Jamie: Car Seat Safety Explained! Then, in a round of triumphs and fails, the hosts tackle tough conversations about sharing, the tricky art of trusting kids' street smarts, and Zak's rude awakening about how much a Labubu really costs.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay break down the drama between Vlogbrothers star Hank Green and the online knitting community. Earlier this month, Green posted an educational SciShow episode about the knitting community's contribution to physics. What the SciShow team didn't expect were almost 30-minute long reaction videos and accusations of belittling and misogyny. This saga has spurred apology TikToks, vows to knit simple socks, and a bigger discussion about how an offline pastime became one of the most drama-filled communities online. Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners' takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes. Links Mentioned:  My Old Books Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the past few months, we've been asking you to tell us stories about your beauty interventions. You told us about feeling caught between viewing appearance improvements as vanity and recognizing how much looking a certain way affects your relationships, career, and self-worth. In this episode, Anna talks to listeners about their appearance choices: Asher, who spent $43,000 on plastic surgery and openly celebrates his investments; Caroline, who used fillers and Botox after her divorce but recently filed for bankruptcy and can no longer afford treatments; Alexandra, who stopped dyeing her gray hair at 38 despite pushback from family; and Nick, whose multiple cosmetic surgeries nearly ended his marriage and forced him to confront deeper issues. Read Nick Dothée's essay: What Plastic Surgery Couldn't Fix Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/DSM⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy and Elizabeth are joined by guest host Rebecca Onion to dive into her and Dan Kois' definitive list of the 25 best picture books of the last quarter century. Which modern stories have staying power? Which books belong beside the classics on your child's shelf? The hosts debate and delight in the choices. But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails: hiding snacks, an urgent care scare, and a  deeply irrational fears.  If you're not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you'll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today's show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you'll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you'll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by sociologist and content creator Josh Lora, who goes by @tellthebeees on TikTok and Substack. In his viral piece, “The Mainstreaming of Loserdom,” Lora explores how a generation of people is becoming proudly anti-social, often in favor of staying home on their phones. While less and less people may be partying, they're not exactly happy about it. Are we doomed to doomscroll, or can we fight for our right to party again? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reporter and former Care & Feeding host Aymann Ismail joins Elizabeth & Lucy to talk about how to approach conversations with kids about violence in the news. The hosts discuss ways to frame scary or divisive headlines, how to balance honesty with reassurance, and how parents can manage their own reactions while guiding kids through uncertain times. Plus, Lucy reflects on her own experience processing the past week's difficult news. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus.  Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Slate senior writer Ben Mathis-Lilley to say goodbye after eleven years at Slate. Ben was responsible for iconic stories like “Wouldn't It Be Nice to Get Knocked Out Cold With a Shovel for Exactly Six Weeks and Five Days?”, and is known as the “funniest person in Slack” despite spending his days reporting on our terrifying political climate. How does Ben stay sane and positive online when the internet is engulfed with bad news? One thing's for certain: It's not in his University of Michigan football Discord.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn't), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carvell wrestling with an ongoing major project, Dr. Spiegel tests our host's hypnotizability—then leads him through an exercise aimed at confronting procrastination. Learn more about Dr. Spiegel and his self-hypnosis app, Reveri. If you liked this episode, check out How To Stop Being Anxious and How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Megan Greenwell was 34 she landed a coveted job in journalism as the editor-in-chief of the sports and culture blog, Deadspin. Just over a year later a post about why she was resigning went viral – a private equity firm had bought Deadspin's parent company, and was seeking "a quick cash-out rather than the growth that comes from a well-run business." Her experience led her to spend six years investigating the industry for her book Bad Company: Private Equity and the Death of the American Dream which follows four Americans whose lives were upended by private equity takeovers in retail, healthcare, housing, and media. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener writes in about a toddler who loves bringing toys to the playground but rarely wants to share them. The hosts unpack why sharing is so tough at this age, how parents can set expectations, and their own philosophies on how kids—and adults—learn to share. Plus, check-ins: Lucy brings a delightfully funny Italian-American teen romance story to the table. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by writer Virgie Tovar, whose latest podcast, GLP-1 Truth Serum, explores the predatory nature of GLP-1 marketing, and companies' attempts to target plus-size creators. But #BodyPositivity was getting backlash long before these new weight loss drugs became trendy, and now social media has gone from a safe space to a minefield. Is #BodyPositivity really gone for good?  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

tell kids about divorce. Zak, Elizabeth, and Lucy  share advice on language that reassures, pitfalls to avoid, and ways to keep the focus on love and stability. Plus, triumphs and fails: Friday night plans go awry, shoe shopping mishaps, and a school drop-off turns into a win. Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream Books Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus.  Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim dive into the online conversations surrounding recent Saturday Night Live cast announcements. With departing fan favorites (such as Heidi Gardner) come the arrival of new talent, and for the past few years, SNL has been sourcing their talent from your For You Page. From TikTok-prominent comedian Veronika Slowikowska to Dropout regular Jeremy Culhane, what does it mean when internet comedians step into Studio 8H? Do they need SNL, or does SNL need them more? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alice has an objectively cool job. She programs film festivals and gets to watch documentaries for a living. But that living is also stressful: It's low-paying, seasonal work that provides some status, sure, but not much stability. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on atheist chaplain and author Vanessa Zoltan, who spent two years helping countless people decide whether to quit (or not) on her podcast The Real Question. Vanessa shares what she learned from those conversations—and helps Alice figure out how to reimagine her life (with job security).  If you liked this episode check out How To Switch Careers in Midlife, How To Take a Sabbatical, and How To Know When to Quit Your Job.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After two decades of making movies with his younger brother Mark, Jay Duplass has gone solo. This week, he tells Anna about all the factors that led to that decision: tricky union rules, his brother's career taking off without him, and the need to provide for his family. They also talk about the resulting film, a tender and unique indie rom-com called The Baltimorons, which Jay co-wrote with the talented but little-known comedian Michael Strassner, who stars in the film with Liz Larsen.  Hear Jay's younger brother Mark on the show from June 2024: Mark Duplass on Making Money, Mental Health, and Midlife. This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Care and Feeding, Zak, Lucy, and Elizabeth are joined by Scotti Weintraub, parenting coach, creator of Reframe Parenting and host of The Unlocking School Success Podcast. Scotti answers' back-to-school questions and offers practical advice for navigating classroom routines, working with teachers, and helping kids feel comfortable and ready to learn. It's all about small shifts that can make the start of the year smoother for everyone. Take Scotti's the School Support Parenting Quiz Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus.  Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by Spitfire News writer Kat Tenbarge, who came to the defense of the Gaylor fandom (people who believe Taylor Swift is secretly queer) after they were accused of “crashing out” in light of her engagement to Travis Kelce. But who are the Gaylors, really? And why are they always the butt of the joke? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the show: What to do when your kid won't stop sucking their thumb. Lucy, Elizabeth, and Zak offer guidance for moving on from thumb-sucking—without turning to bribes or battles—as well as alternative methods of self-soothing. In ‘triumphs and fails' Elizabeth and Zak wrestle with airports and big international moves, while Lucy deals with a budgeting tantrum. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay talk about the backlash surrounding The Cutting Room Floor, a fashion podcast you may know from its Leandra Medine Cohen episode or its viral Steve Madden interview. Last week, host and creator Recho Omondi went on TikTok to hire a full-time staffer who would be an office administrator, bookings coordinator, and personal assistant. Fans were intrigued until she dropped that this role would pay a salary of $55,000 with no healthcare benefits. TikTok reacted strongly and immediately, taking issue with the low salary and bringing up the privileged candidate who could afford to take a job like this in New York City. Omondi responded by going on TikTok Live and posting a short Patreon episode she titled “$55k Gate,” but doubling down seemed to triple the discourse.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Krystina used to host gatherings all the time. Then came kids and the pandemic, and the parties ground to a halt. She's feeling a renewed urge to bring people together—specifically her inspiring, badass female friends—but every time she starts to plan something meaningful, she balks. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin connects Krystina with Katherine Goldstein of the Substack and podcast The Double Shift. Katherine shares what she's learned from her new project, The How To Find Your People Club, including a guiding principle: Don't overthink it. More from The How to Find Your People Club: 8 Ways to Embrace “Deep Casual Hosting” (So You'll Actually Do It) More Advice for the “Deep Casual” Hosting Movement! A Research-Backed Method to Ramp Up Our Social Skills A Nitty-Gritty Guide to Finding a Community That's Right for You If you liked this episode, check out How To Throw a Party They'll Remember and How To Find Friends in Unexpected Places. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When comedy writer Tamara Yajia talks about her childhood, she's sometimes unsure what tone to strike. Her new memoir Cry for Me Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star depicts a very fun nuclear family with parents and grandparents who are loud, crass, and sex-positive. There are hilarious moments and situations that seem wildly inappropriate. In this week's episode, Tamara tells Anna about the ups and downs of her childhood, which was spent in both Argentina and the U.S., and what she wishes her parents had done differently.   This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. To check out the episodes about Hurricane Katrina that Anna mentioned, click here: https://www.wnyc.org/story/in-new-orleans/  Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents' patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, science journalist and author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda gives Sarah strategies for talking to all parties, reinforcing values in her daughter, and avoiding an irreparable break with her relatives. If you want more Melinda, check out: How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by Slate staff writer Luke Winkie, whose piece “Is This What It Takes to Beat Trump?” examines Gavin Newsom's latest social media strategy: shitposting. The California governor has started tweeting in the style of Donald Trump to ridicule the president and promote his new redistricting effort in California. It's also paving the way for a potential presidential campaign in 2028. But is his comedy cutting, or just cringe? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Care and Feeding, Zak, Lucy, and Elizabeth help a parent who is doing ‘extra' parenting for one of her kids. She's worried her other kid will feel resentful. The hosts have helpful strategies for balancing fairness while preserving your sanity.  In Triumphs and Fails: international moves, heartbreaking goodbyes, and a snack-money gremlin.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, host Candice Lim tells Kate Lindsay about two recent BookTok conventions that went off the rails. While the first convention become known as the “Fyre Fest” of BookTok, the other faced troubling allegations of sexual assault against an employee. Is BookTok or social media to blame for how often attempts to bring a fandom together end up shattering the community apart?  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son's baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time—and have fun. Which they did, until the yelling started and the season ended in a stunning loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? In this encore episode of How To! from 2021, Amanda Ripley connects Kelly with Doug Lemov, author of Teach Like a Champion and The Coach's Guide to Teaching. Doug shares some fantastic advice for commanding attention (and managing failure) that we can all learn from, on or off the field.  If you liked this episode, check out Congrats, You Won the Olympics. Now What? Do you have a question that requires Ted Lasso-grade inspiration? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. This episode was produced by Derek John and Rosemary Belson. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They say moving is one of life's most stressful events. We asked for your stories about why you're doing it. Plus, Heidi Reinberg was priced out of a Brooklyn neighborhood she loved. Where did she end up?  Death, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus. Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.  __ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/DSM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They say moving is one of life's most stressful events. We asked for your stories about why you're doing it. Plus, Heidi Reinberg was priced out of a Brooklyn neighborhood she loved. Where did she end up?  Death, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus. Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you're new to the show, welcome. We're so glad you're here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna's newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.  __ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/DSM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth shares stories from her big moving trip, Zak talks through the chaos of his own move, and Lucy navigates some surprising crush talk with her teen. Then, a listener asks how to make their home the go-to hangout spot for kids and friends. The hosts get real about why it's less about beanbags and ping pong tables, and more about food, trust, and creating the right vibe. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay get into the war between em dashes and artificial intelligence. Back in 2024, what started as a developer question became an all-out grammar war, with the use of em dashes becoming a possible indicator that something was written using ChatGPT. In the past week alone, several writers have published their defenses of the em dash and how we shouldn't let ChatGPT ruin our favorite keyboard shortcut. However, the em dash may be a symptom of a bigger issue: have our AI detection skills gotten worse? Or, are we all doomed to be tricked by a hyphen or two? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices