Not Alone Today Podcast

In this episode, we reflect on the previous year and the transition into a new year. We discussed the following among others: ✥ Highlights of 2022 ✥ The merits and demerits of making new year resolutions ✥ Daily Audio Bible Chronological (https://player.dailyaudiobible.com/chronological) ✥ The concept of naming a new year ✥ A warning against distraction You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

This is a 6-in-1 special episode bringing together over two hours of Relationship Content from the Not Alone Today Podcast. For easy navigation, here's a guide: 0:00 ⏩ 1. Help! I Don't Like Who God Wants Me To Marry 19:07 ⏩ 2. Marrying a Pastor 45:14 ⏩ 3. Becoming the Right Person While Waiting for the Right Person 01:12:40 ⏩ 4. The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis 01:30:15 ⏩ 5. Being Sure of Who to Marry 01:51:47 ⏩ 6. Am I Ready for a Relationship? You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Chika's question sent in from Lagos, Nigeria. Here's her question: "What do you do when you try to work out your relationship with other people and it seems like the more you try to 'express' who you are, they keep misunderstanding?" We discussed a few possibilities for Chika's consideration including but not limited to: ✥ The possibility that God may be teaching Chika some patience ✥ The possibility that Chika may be surrounding herself with the wrong inner circle ✥ The possible flaws in Chika's attempt to "express who she is" ✥ The possibility that Chika may be unpacking the gift of 'not fitting in', which is often a prerequisite for a call into PIONEERING one form of ministry or the other. For more on the last point, we mentioned the works of Jonny Baker who has written a lot of insightful materials on the gift of not fitting and pioneer practice as a whole. You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Betty's question sent in from East Africa. Her main question goes thus: "Pastor, I need your help. I've been married to a man I believe is God's will for my life for a couple of years. However, I have observed in recent times that my husband lies to me and hardly apologises! There are so many decisions we make as a family but sometimes he goes against them and, in turn, lies to me instead. I am so fed up. I feel it's not healthy for me, especially as we are currently expecting our first child. To be fair to him, he had previously confessed to me that while he was growing up, he never felt loved because both his parents passed on while he was still very young. However, the fact that he lacked any significant parental love while growing up seems to be affecting him in marriage. It also meant that he didn't grow up with a model of what a man does to his wife. Sometimes, when I am feeling down and in need of his support and encouragement, he doesn't know what to do. Yet, I feel like I need him sometimes to show me that he's concerned or understands how I feel, but he doesn't seem to care about it. As for me, I grew up around both my parents, so I am here battling in my mind about how I think "he's supposed to do this and that" or "this should come naturally to him" but those things are not happening. I am confused and need your help." We discussed this in the episode, among other things, an exposition on 1 Peter 2 and 3 while also offering some practical insights into Betty's question. You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Helen's questions. Her main question goes thus: "What can you say about a single lady who is waiting and working because she is not sure that it is time for her to get into a marital relationship yet? She is willing to walk according to divine timing; she is working on discovering herself, acquiring useful skills, working on her character flaws, maximizing her God-given potential, and receiving training on 'the art of authentic ministry.' Meanwhile, as she is doing all these things, proposals keep coming from Christian brothers; what should she do? I believe that some people see this kind of 'waiting' as being 'seemingly foolish' while some would tag it 'a fear of commitment' or 'fear of being vulnerable in a marital relationship'; perhaps, some would even call it 'pride.' Is this so, sir? What if such a person feels so strong about this inner perception of hers (to take her time and do all these preparations BEFORE getting into a relationship)?" We discussed this in the episode. Meanwhile, her other question came up in her mind while reading Echoes: Life Lessons from an Online Village (Joseph and Anu Ola's latest book). Helen wanted to know if Anu's fears prior to consenting to the beginning of her relationship with Joseph played a part in her waiting for almost 4 weeks before responding positively to Joseph's marriage proposal. To this, we pointed her to previous episodes where the reasoning behind this was already well discussed. See the following past episodes: S1E03 - Pre-Courtship, Courtship, and Pre-Wedding FEARS S3E01 - Being Sure of Who to Marry S1E27 - Becoming the Right Person While Waiting for the Right Person S1E28 - The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis Our response to Helen's questions welcomes us to Season 4 of the Not Alone Today podcast. You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 ALSO MENTIONED ✥ Echoes: Life Lessons from an Online Village (Volume 1) - http://viewbook.at/echoes FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"What are your thoughts on how young moms can manage money in their marital context?" That's the summary of today's question. It is the concluding part of Tunde's question which we began responding to in our previous episode (S3E04) on balancing the roles of a wife, young mom and career person with one's spirituality. Here's Tunde's question once again: "3 ladies who just got married have been struggling with balancing their spiritual life with child care, marriage and career. They wish they could get back the experience of their pre-marital days when they were able to maintain consistent spiritual growth by engaging in spiritual disciplines which they no longer seem to have time for. They all had their first child within their first year of marriage—just like Anu—and so I will like to ask her, how did she manage in those first few years of her married life? Secondly, how can these young mums also manage money concerns in their marriage?" Joseph and Anu reflected on the question and Anu shared various tips that worked for her (and continue to work for her). She drew her approach from Proverbs 14:8 (see also Proverbs 13:16) and also explains why, in her own context, she chose to pull all her income into a common purse with Joseph (while acknowledging that the same approach may not work for everyone). Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 BIBLE REFERENCES ✥ Proverbs 14:8 NKJV - "The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit." ✥ Proverbs 13:16 NIV - "All who are prudent act with knowledge, but fools expose their folly." FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA S3E04 - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/38126580/s3e04-being-a-mom-and-being-you-finding-the-balance https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"How can a young mom balance spirituality, childcare, marriage and her career?" That's this week's question in a nutshell. Today's question comes in from Tunde who sends a voice note to ask a question based on his recent interactions with 3 of his friends (all ladies) who share some things in common. In summary, here's his question: "3 ladies who just got married have been struggling with balancing their spiritual life with child care, marriage and career. They wish they could get back the experience of their pre-marital days when they were able to maintain consistent spiritual growth by engaging in spiritual disciplines which they no longer seem to have time for. They all had their first child within their first year of marriage—just like Anu—and so I will like to ask her, how did she manage in those first few years of her married life? Secondly, how can these young mums also manage money concerns in their marriage?" Joseph and Anu reflected on the question and Anu shared various tips that worked for her (and continue to work for her). Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE ✥ Ecclesiastes 7:10 NIV - "Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions." ✥ Habakkuk 2:1-3 NIV - "1 I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint. 2 Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. 3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA Are You Called to Write? (My Story): 7 indicators to discern if you are called to write - https://www.josephkolawole.org/post/are-you-called-to-write https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

THE QUESTION: Today's question comes in from a listener who asks, "Do you ever worry about whether someone—or many people in fact—might have written about what you have in mind to write about?" Joseph and Anu reflected on this from their writing and publishing experience. Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA Are You Called to Write? (My Story): 7 indicators to discern if you are called to write - https://www.josephkolawole.org/post/are-you-called-to-write https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

THE QUESTION: Today's question comes in from Tejire, a young lady who has been in a godly courtship with the man she's truly and fully persuaded to be God's will for her life. However, as the wedding day draws nearer, it's been one challenge from her family or the other. She's feeling depressed from the various issues that are popping up (mostly pertaining to the wedding plans) so she reached out to ask how she could shield herself from allowing those issues to get to her. Joseph shared his initial thoughts to her on the day she reached out drawing some prophetic insight from a hymn titled "We Shall See The Desert As a Rose" and Anu shared her more practical thoughts that help put Tejire's scenario in perspective. Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

THE QUESTION: Today's question comes in from Ire, a young lady who feels a bit fearful being faced with a dilemma regarding her choice of a life partner. She asks, "How do I hear from God (regarding who to marry) when my heart is full of fear?" The backstory is elaborated upon in the episode. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 2 Timothy 1:7 TPT - "For God will never give you the spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love, and self-control." Psalm 32:8-9 TPT - "I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don't make it difficult; don't be stubborn when I take you where you've not been before. Don't make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!”" Isaiah 28:16 JUB - "Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD, Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious corner stone, a sure foundation: he that believes shall not make haste." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 RESOURCES REFERENCED 1. S1E02 - How Do I Hear From God? - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/3ea611af/s1e02-how-do-i-hear-from-god 2. S1E03 - Pre-Courtship, Courtship, and Pre-Wedding FEARS - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/dbfdea73/s1e03-pre-courtship-courtship-and-pre-wedding-fears 3. S1E11 - Help! I Don't Like Who God Wants Me To Marry - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/d08a7110/s1e11-help-i-dont-like-who-god-wants-me-to-marry 4. S1E28 - The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/1bffc5c3/s1e28-the-audacity-of-marrying-on-a-god-said-basis 5. Is This Opportunity From God?: 7 Checkpoints for Discerning Divine Opportunities - https://paystack.com/buy/is-this-opportunity-from-god FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"How can you help a younger believer who is addicted to masturbation when previous intervention doesn't seem to be effective?" That is the summary to the interesting question we responded to in this episode. It comes in from Bimpe who asks, "Sir, please I need your counsel on a matter. There's this girl myself and [my fiancé] are discipling who is addicted to masturbation. I shared with her #Unaddicted. We read it together and encouraged her [but] she's still deep into the act. How else can we help her sir? (Plus we've prayed with her!) Thank you sir." Welcome to this special episode of Not Alone Today Podcast. It's our ANNIVERSARY EPISODE! It's been ONE YEAR since this podcast began and we are grateful to God for the journey so far. We began the episode by reflecting briefly on the TOP 5 EPISODES (the episodes that had been listened to the most) before diving into the question for the day. The resource Bimpe mentioned in this episode is a book I wrote in 2019 titled #Unaddicted: Finding Freedom from Sex-related Addictions (link below). Anu and I discussed this by reemphasising the fundamentals of victory in managing any negative addiction: by taking our focus off of the act and viewing our sanctification process more holistically. God is not only after your victory over ONE particular sin; He wants you to enjoy your victory in Christ over ALL sins. What will this look like? Have a listen to the episode to find out more. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED Romans 6:14 (NKJV) "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace." Hebrews 4:15-16 (VOICE) "For Jesus is not some high priest who has no sympathy for our weaknesses and flaws. He has already been tested in every way that we are tested; but He emerged victorious, without failing God. So let us step boldly to the throne of grace, where we can find mercy and grace to help when we need it most." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 LINK TO GET THE REFERENCED RESOURCE: #UNADDICTED https://paystack.com/buy/unaddicted ANOTHER RESOURCE FROM JOSEPH ON "OVERCOMING NEGATIVE ADDICTIONS" https://youtu.be/Slod3hIfekM FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"What if someone is addicted to sharing godly and edifying posts on social media?" That is the summary of the interesting question we responded to in this episode. It comes in from Bisi who asks, "Sir, I have a question for your wife. I remember in one of the previous podcast episodes that I listened to, she spoke about how that when she has gotten certain godly piece of information, she's quick to share them on her social media handle. Like, for example, she sees an edifying post and then gbam! She has reposted it even before the quote “blesses” her. I'm finding myself in the same situation and it's making me “addictive” to posting (godly and edifying) posts on my social media page -- WhatsApp especially. My question is: How can I control this sir? Thank you sir." The episode Bisi is referring to is Season 1 Episode 9 - Lessons From the Pandemic (link below). Anu and I discussed this by reemphasising the need to understand the PURPOSE and PRIORITY with regards to how we use social media. We emphasised the need to first be truly BLESSED by a piece of knowledge (and this can take days, weeks, months or years!) before going on to share that knowledge from a lived-experience perspective. We asked, "What is the point of pointing people to a place you are not willing to go?" Mark 3:14, for example, says that Jesus ordained 12 disciples "that they SHOULD be with him, and that he MIGHT send them forth..." In other words, the primary purpose is to fellowship with The Truth (Jesus), and if He so chooses, He MAY send us to others (through sharing and the likes). Anu offered some practical tips, including taking time to let what the Holy Spirit is teaching you simmer in your heart before sharing the same, and considering using a different platform that will force you to "STOP and THINK" before you post or share. BIBLE VERSE REFERENCED Mark 3:14 KJV "And he ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 LINK TO THE REFERENCED EPISODE (S1E09 - Lessons From the Pandemic) https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/20748a44/s1e09-lessons-from-the-pandemic FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, Anu and Joseph both reflect on some highlights from their time in the Word in the past week. Anu zoomed in on different aspects and prayers from the life of David as recorded in 1 Chronicles while Joseph reflects on a conversation between Jesus, Peter and John in Luke 22. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 1 Chronicles 21:8; 22:9; 29:10f Luke 22:7-13 Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"If the lady I'm convinced God wants me to marry has a bad attitude and character, should I still go ahead?" That is the summary to the interesting question we considered in this episode. It comes in from Zachaeus who asks, "Please sir, there's this question I'd love to ask as well as seek clarity from you with regards to marriage/relationship. If God is leading me in the direction of a lady as my wife-to-be (God's will) and such a lady has a bad character and attitude, am I permitted to go on with such relationship?" We discussed this by drawing Zach's attention to further reflect on some of the assumptions in his questions and we also shared from our own experience to give further perspective on Zach's interesting question. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 1. Proverbs 18:21 HCSB "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." 2. Luke 6:45 NKJV "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." 3. Proverbs 18:22 NKJV "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

Is it okay to sleep on a hotel bed on our wedding night? That is the summary of the interesting question we considered in this episode. It comes in from Kwame who asks, "Hi. I have this question on my mind and I would want to know your thoughts about it and whether it is scripturally right or wrong. Myself and my wife-to-be have had a lot of discussions about our wedding day, especially the wedding night. However, I do have this concern. Is it advisable for us to spend that special moment (first-time sex) in the same bed that only God knows the number of people who have used and for whatever purposes. Kindly help me out Mr and Mrs Ola. Thank you." We discussed this and reflected on our own considerations at that season, too. (Funny thing is, Eleos had the same question back in the day

Have you ever felt disappointed by God? The question we responded to in this episode comes in from Henry who asks, "At those times when you felt disappointed by God, what were the things you did to keep you going and to still trust in God?" We discussed this by sharing some personal case studies of times we have felt such an emotion and the practical steps we took which boosted our confidence and continued trust in God. BIBLE PASSAGE REFERENCED Romans 5:1-5 MSG RESOURCE RECOMMENDED Waiting Compass: Finding God When He Seems to Delay available at https://paystack.shop/josephola and on Amazon at https://mybook.to/waitingcompass FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

Welcome to Season 2 of Not Alone Today Podcast. We want to thank those who have tracked with us and always sending in their feedback, questions and suggestions. We are very grateful. We kick off this new season with a question from Angela who asks, "Is it wrong to have a tattoo or get a second piercing as a lady?" We discussed this and shared some principles that may guide us in coming to our personal conclusions and decisions about such amoral issues. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 1. Leviticus 19:28 - “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD” 2. Proverbs 16:2 TPT - "We are all in love with our own opinions, convinced they're correct. But the Lord is in the midst of us, testing and probing our every motive." 3. Proverbs 16:2 ERV - "People think that whatever they do is right, but the Lord judges their reason for doing it." 4. 1 Corinthians 10:23 TPT - "You say, “Under grace there are no rules and we're free to do anything we please.” Not exactly. Because not everything promotes growth in others. Your slogan, “We're allowed to do anything we choose,” may be true—but not everything causes the spiritual advancement of others." FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In this episode of NATP, we feature some of the feedbacks some listeners have sent in either as voice messages or texts. We hope that the episode will inspire you to keep engaging with this resource and also spread the word within your sphere of influence so that even more people can be blessed by this resource.

The question we considered in this episode comes from Tina. She asks, "A while ago, my mum suddenly began to object to the church I attend and she never had issues with this in the past. I kept praying that she would change her mind while I kept attending church. She would give in for a while but begin to complain again later. Her point was that my church was a bit far hence I come home late whenever I go for weekly service. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I persisted and actually locked me out one night. But thank God she listened after I begged and my pastor intervened. I still attend the same church and to be honest with you sir, I don't think I wanna leave anytime soon because I believe God wants me there. Here's my question: Does refusing to listen to my mum where church and God's work is concerned dishonourable to her? Where does this honour thing start and where does it end really?" We discussed this and shared some personal experiences to put it in perspective. RESOURCE MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE Not Alone Today Podcast Episode 018 - Let's Talk About Adornments FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

Bola asks, "Sir and ma, I will like a clarification on when rapture will happen. I have always believed that believers will not witness the period of the Antichrist but I was recently in a discussion that brought in the idea that they will. What are your thoughts about this?" This episode is our response to her question. We discussed the different perspectives to understanding the 'timing' of the rapture vis-a-vis the events of the 'period of tribulation' described in an apocalyptic language in the Book of Revelation. Anu also raised a sub-question about those who think that COVID-19 vaccine may be '666' or 'the mark of the beast.' This was also discussed. PERSONS/RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE David Jeremiah (The Book of Signs, Agent of the Apocalypse, Rapture, etc) Warren Wiersbe (The Wiersbe Bible Commentary / The BE Series Commentary) John Piper (Ask Pastor John Podcast, desiringgod.org) R.C. Sproul ('Renewing Your Mind with R.C. Sproul' Podcast) N.T. Wright (Ask N.T. Wright Anything Podcast) FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

Why would a lady marry a guy who is, to say the least, clueless about his future? That's the summary of the question we consider this week. It comes in from Pemi and was directed to Joseph. Pemi asks: "I read your book 'Bumpy but Sweet' again today. I noticed that you didn't particularly know so much about God's plans for you before you asked your wife to marry you. I have heard relationship coaches say that you shouldn't hitch your ride to someone you aren't sure is going your way (i.e. don't go into a relationship when you don't yet know your purpose). What was different in your case sir?" We revisited the context that birthed the question and proceeded to discuss the central principle behind such a seemingly foolish audacity that made Eleos agree to marry a guy who, from all indication as of then, did not quite look like the kind of person who God has been preparing her for. We pray that the episode blesses you. REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE ✥ Not Alone Today Podcast - Episode 019 | "Journey Into Pastoral Ministry" available here: https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/2684113f/019-journey-into-pastoral-ministry FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA ✥ https://linktr.ee/josephola ✥ https://josephola.disha.page/

Today's question covers various themes: manipulative relationships, breakups, waiting for the 'right person', pressure to get married, etc. It comes in from Phoebe who asks: "Hello sir/ma. I have been in a 5-year relationship for which I later called it quit because it was subtly manipulative on me. I have gotten over him long before I broke up with him through the help of God. I am happy I ended it. So, I told God that I want to have feelings or emotions only for the man I will end up marrying; never again do I want to waste my emotion on the wrong man of whom God does not approve. I don't know whether I should be worried because, for some months, I have not been in a meaningful relationship with any man. What's your take on this, ma/sir?" We responded to these questions by zooming into various aspects of her question and pointing Phoebe's attention to what God may be using this season to accomplish in her heart. MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: 1. The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley 2. Psalm 32 from The Passion Translation. OTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT You will find the links to other resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://josephola.disha.page/

Can we actually trust any version of the Bible since we no longer have any of the original manuscripts? That's the summary of the question we consider this week. It comes in from Abigail and was directed to Joseph. Abigail asks: "So, tonight I was slightly disturbed about something, and then my heart raced back to a post I saw earlier and I just had to go look for it. The post (on Twitter) says "There is no single original copy of any book of the Bible. If God value (sic) his words, why has he failed to preserve his words?" Apart from this troubling tweet, someone said the other week that 'Good News Bible' wasn't authored by a Christian. He said all sorts of things about the GNB and concluded that it is not a Bible. I also remember that The Passion Translation Bible in my YouVersion Bible app would say some verses are missing. A lot of times, I've noticed that what we have in one version we may not have in another. I'm a little bit bothered about which of the versions to even read. Please help." Joseph responded to these questions by giving an overview of how English Bible translations are done and also explained the various types of translation approaches and specific examples of the different categories. MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: 1. Word for Word translation approach. 2. Thought for Thought translation approach. 3. Robert Bratcher (Good News Translation) 4. Eugene Peterson (The Message) 5. Brian Simmons (The Passion Translation) 6. E-Sword Bible Software ALSO MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE ✥ For the controversy on The Good News Bible, see this review: http://www.bible-researcher.com/tev.html ✥ Download E-Sword here: https://www.e-sword.net/downloads.html ✥ BibleGateway: http://biblegateway.com/ ✥ Bible Hub: http://biblehub.com/ ✥ YouVersion: http://bible.com/ OTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT You will find the links to other resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://josephola.disha.page/ and https://linktr.ee/josephola

How can long-distance relationships be well-managed? That's the question we consider this week. As part of my #WhatMy20sTaughtMe series leading to my 30th birthday, Eleos and I did address how we managed the long-distance season of our relationship. We adapted that discussion for this episode of Not Alone Today Podcast. At the latter part of the discussion, Eleos asked some very practical questions which some of us will surely find helpful. KEY POINTS ✥ If you are purposefully busy, you will hardly 'have time' to miss someone in an unhealthy manner. It makes it possible for you to miss your partner without dwelling too much on the "missing." ✥ To avoid disappointment, don't expect too much from your partner... ✥ Maximise the different available means of communication. Be creative with this. ✥ Don't put so much expectation on your partner (Yes, we say it again!) ✥ Communicate with each other CLEARLY. ✥ Explore creative ways to bridge the distance. ✥ Having healthy friendships also helps. ✥ Be confident in your partner. Don't be a "monitoring spirit" to your partner; that would be a sign of distrust. Q & A "Why do guys get so busy, they can't even text?" How were we able to stay undistracted by other folks of the opposite sex? SCRIPTURE REFERENCED Ecclesiastes 9:10 NIV - "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." OTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT ✥ You can watch the recording of this episode of #WhatMy20sTaughtMe here: https://www.facebook.com/josephkolawole/videos/10218755853592175 or the complete Playlist here: https://bit.ly/2ud8dqj ✥ You will find the links to other resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://josephola.disha.page/

Should you be concerned if your fianc(é)e is waiting for both of you to be married before (s)he starts giving you anything? That's the summary of the question we consider this week. It comes in from Bimbo and was directed to Anu. Bimbo asks: "Ma, my fiance and I have been in a relationship for a few years. The nearer we get to our wedding, the more I'm having to feel more concerned about an issue but I am not sure if I'm overthinking it. My primary love language is GIFTS and he is aware of this. While he used to do this at the beginning of our relationship, he has stopped doing it for a long while now. Initially, I overlooked it since I'm aware he didn't have much at that time, but now he has the means but still wouldn't give. I confronted him about it recently and he said he can never give his fiancée money because that is not in the bible. He said that he can only take care of me when we marry, taking full responsibility as my husband. I was shocked when I heard this, but if I may ask, what are your thoughts about this?" We discussed this from different angles in this episode and concluded with a prayer for Bimbo and her fiance. Whether you are in a relationship or yet to be in one, this will be insightful. We pray that the episode blesses you. REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE ✥ Not Alone Today Podcast - Episode 003 | "Pre-Courtship, Courtship, and Pre-Wedding FEARS" available here: https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/dbfdea73/003-pre-courtship-courtship-and-pre-wedding-fears ✥ Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages OTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT You will find the links to other resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://josephola.disha.page/

In this episode, Joseph responds to a question that he was asked in the wake of the tragic death of Hindy Umoren, a young Nigerian graduate who went missing after she left her home for a job interview. She was reportedly raped, killed and buried in a shallow grave. Referring to this event and few other tragic occurrences where supposedly innocent people (Christians especially) were treated cruelly, a young man was prompted to reach out to Joseph with the age-long question: "If God is all-powerful, why doesn't He show up like superheroes and defend the course of the defenceless and put evildoers to an open shame?" Joseph responds with a voice message which was featured in the episode and Anu weighs in on the question with some concluding thoughts. We pray that you all find this episode reassuring and refreshing. SOME KEY POINTS ✥ God is not just sovereign or in charge; He is purposefully in charge of ALL the affairs of men. ✥ "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world." (Quote attributed to C.S. Lewis.) ✥ "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." (Quote attributed to John Piper.) MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE ✥ Hindy Umoren ✥ C.S. Lewis ✥ Providence by John Piper

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Simi's question. She asks: "I need help. My siblings and I are always at loggerhead. In fact, my immediate brother has left the house to stay with someone else currently. The issue is they believe that I'm too 'Spiri koko' (i.e. hyper-spiritual) and wouldn't let them have their way in doing certain things they feel is normal. Just this evening, there was a quarrel because I asked my second brother not to listen to a particular song because of the dirty lyrics, but he insisted. These acts leave me feeling bad—like I'm a mean and troublesome person. Sometimes I find it very difficult to pray. What can I do?

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Liz's question. She asks: "Sir, how does a lady overcome lustful desire coming from a married man, especially from someone she trusts so much and can't ignore? And how can she help such a married man to quench the fire apart from praying for him? Lastly, have you had any lustful desire towards another lady apart from your wife? If yes, how did you handle it?" Joseph and Anu shared some thoughts in response to this. OTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT You will find the links to other resources from us here: https://josephola.disha.page/

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Becky's sensitive question which she asked after listening to Episode 005: "Should I Tell Her My Past?" | Having Difficult Conversations in Courtship. Her question goes thus: "How do you handle it when the secret you are keeping from your partner is to protect someone else. For example, how do you tell the man you are marrying that your own brother or father abused you as a child. This kinda secret can affect the way he feels and relates with that family member or even the whole family. Isn't it easier to say it happened a long time ago, therefore there's no need to dig up the past?" Joseph and Anu shared some thoughts in response to this. OTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED Not Alone Today Podcast Episode 005 - "Should I Tell Her My Past?" | Having Difficult Conversations in Courtship Omoluabi Podcast, Episode 005 - "Akéde ò jẹ iyán gbígbóná" - A Proverb on Being CAUTIOUS https://josephola.disha.page/

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Kunle's question about sensing a call into pastoral ministry. Kunle asks: "I am at a point in my life where I strongly feel that I have a calling into pastoral ministry. I have also gotten confirmations from friends and pastors about this. So, if I may ask, what is pastoral ministry all about? I feel so unqualified in this regard. Besides, when you (Joseph) were at this junction that I'm in, what was it like? What were the things you had to do? How did you prepare and continue to stay prepared? And being in pastoral ministry, does that mean that you do not have to do anything else? Lastly, what are the challenges that come with pioneering a ministry?" In an interview style (with Anu being the interviewer and Joseph the interviewee), Joseph recounted his journey into pastoral ministry while drawing out some points for those who may be sensing a similar call into pastoral ministry and, by extension, to all those who are interested in pursuing the fulfilment of God's will in their career and sphere of influence. Some of the areas covered include: ✥ Guiding Questions to ask regarding one's calling ✥ The Principle of Progressive Revelation ✥ Understanding Personal Retreat ✥ How God speaks to us ✥ The intersection of marriage and (pastoral) ministry ✥ The importance of the sound education in the field of our calling/career ✥ Challenges that come with pioneering a ministry ✥ General tips for purpose-driven young adults.

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Kemi's question about using jewelleries as a Christian lady. She asks: "I've been raised in a conservative home since birth such that I don't have earring holes not to talk of using earrings. But right from my childhood, I've always desired to use jewellery but everyone around me believes that it's a pathway to eternity in hell. Now I know better. But while I don't want to restrict myself due to people's opinion, I also do not want to be a hypocrite. I want to do what I want to do, but I don't want to also overlook my mum's view even though I know I'm not going to hell because of jewellery or make-up. What would be your counsel to me?" They discussed 1 Peter 3:3-4 extensively and Eleos shared some personal experiences with regards to using (or not using) adornments.

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to the questions of Tunde. He asks: "What are the tool kits you engaged with and the persons you followed critically for your growth and development?" Some of the factors discussed in the episode include Salvation, Service, Relationships, Giving, Prayer, Training and Resources, Failures, Exposure, Curiosity and the superintending role of the Holy Spirit.

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to the questions of John and Chioma. John asks: "How should intending couples talk about sex before marriage while also trying to be cautious about their minds and not get carried away? Why should this be discussed before marriage and not till after the wedding? What should be the issues to be discussed when having such a discussion?" Chioma, on the other hand, narrates a scenario where a newly wedded couple struggled with sex because the lady found it extremely painful. Both questions were addressed and Anu shared her personal experience as it pertains to Chioma's question. RESOURCES RECOMMENDED 1. The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love by Tim & Beverly LaHaye 2. Model Marriage: A Marriage Counselling Handbook by Dag Heward-Mills

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Debbie's question about a friend who left his church. She wants to know how best to respond in a scenario where for one reason or the other, you no longer (or never did) like your local assembly. We also offered a brief comment on the recent scandal around late Ravi Zacharias. SCRIPTURAL VERSES REFERENCED Psalm 68:6 AMPC "God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell; He leads the prisoners out to prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a parched land." Hebrews 10:25 TLB "Let us not neglect our church meetings, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near." Matthew 16:18 TPT "I give you the name Peter, a stone. And this truth of who I am will be the bedrock foundation on which I will build MY church—MY legislative assembly, and the power of death will not be able to overpower it!" Matthew 18:20 NRSV "For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Chichi's question (directed to Anu). She wants to know her thoughts on marrying a pastor as she's currently in a relationship with a brother who is into "full time ministry" (in her own words). SCRIPTURAL VERSE REFERENCED 1 Timothy 4:16 KJV "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee." OTHER RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/josephola

In this episode, we add a sequel to our conversation from the previous episode about handling sexual attraction during courtship. Specifically, based on listeners' feedback, we consider what this would look like for those who are already very sexually active. RESOURCES MENTIONED The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love by Tim and Beverly LaHaye The Meaning of Sex by Walter Trobisch OTHER RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/josephola

In this episode, we respond to Kate's questions. She asks: 1. How do you handle being sexually attracted to your hopeful future partner? 2. How do you handle being sexually attracted to someone else while you are in a relationship with your hopeful future partner? This episode is our response to her question. MORE RESOURCES Joseph and Anu have many other resources which you can find via the links below: Our books: https://author.to/JosephOla Joseph's website: http://josephkolawole.org/ Eleos' blog: http://eleosblisshouse.org/ Our second Podcast (Ọmọlúàbí Podcast): https://anchor.fm/omoluabi Other resources: https://linktr.ee/josephola

In this episode, we respond to TK's question. On one hand, he wanted to know how to process not liking the person God is leading him to marry, and on the other hand, he wanted us to speak into the subject of age difference between a guy and a lady in a marital relationship. SCRIPTURES REFERENCED "Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NKJV) "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

In this episode, we (Joseph and Anu) discuss the sensitive subject of BREAKUPS. We touched on how to manage it and how to do it right (when it becomes necessary to do it). Some of the points discussed include the following: In the aftermath of a breakup, don't minimise your pain, hurt, or grief. Give expression to it. Maximise the learning opportunity that your break up affords you. Take time to heal (and learn) before 'jumping' into another relationship too soon. Even in your pain, God's providence is at work. Your breakup can be a feather to your cap. If you learn from your experience, you will be better off to have gone through the breakup experience—time will reveal this. If your ex is a Christain, don't forget that he/she is still God's child (and so, will always be your sibling eternally!) If anyone understands brokenness and its cousins, it's JESUS. Let Him heal you. There is a Christian way to break up. God can still be glorified even in your breakup. SCRIPTURE REFERENCED “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14).

In this episode, as we begin a new year (2021), we pause to reflect on the lessons 2020 and the global COVID-19 pandemic taught us. A snapshot of these lessons include the following among others: Growth is ALWAYS happening, whether or not we notice it. God likes to dwell in the GRADUAL. Serving God can be fun. Time Management - "Saying Yes" versus "Saying No" The profound powers of technology demand that we STEWARD it well. Personal discipline in sharing stuff on social media. PRIORITISING correctly is the breeding ground for fulfilment. MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE The Gospel Coalition Joseph and Anu's Books published in 2020 Not Alone Today Podcast COVID-19 Pandemic SCRIPTURES REFERENCED Mark 3:14 NIV "He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach" Matthew 11:28-30 NIV “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 13:44 NIV "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

In this episode, we respond to Theresa's question. She asks: "I've been trying to get my partner to have a mentor since our relationship began two years ago but he's yet to do so. I believe that having a mentor will lessen our fights and help him identify and work on some areas of his life. He says that he looks up to some great men of God but I'd rather he has mentors whom he has direct access to. What would you say about this?" EXCERPTS "It's good to have mentors you are able to have direct access to, but sometimes, it's just good to enjoy the resources they are able to give to you, whether or not you have direct access to them." — Anu Ola "I think the wisdom in mentorship, really, is tied to the wisdom in asking questions. . . The quality of your life will be based on the quality of the questions you are asking." — Joseph Ola MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE 1. Prof Adesegun Fatusi (Joseph's Mentor) 2. Max Lucado 3. Risen Motherhood Podcast 4. The Gospel Coalition Podcast 5. Help Me Teach the Bible 6. ChurchPulse Weekly Podcast 7. SermonAudio (Marriage) 8. Alive Mentorship Group SCRIPTURE "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 14:12 King James Version)

In this episode, we respond to the complementary questions of Lydia and Peter. Their questions (asked independently for different relationships) seem to be about the same issue: How to correct one's partner in a relationship. Lydia asks: "Most times when I try to tell my fiance that what he did is wrong or painful, he always ends up getting angry and ignoring my calls (and much more) just because I expressed my mind. What would you say about this?" Peter asks: "I'm having doubts in my relationship even though I felt led into it in the beginning. And this is mostly because of some attitude problems from my partner. Although she is teachable and she has corrected a couple of those attitude issues, but then, the recurrences make it seem as if either the progress is slow or her level of maturity is low. These attitude problems are mostly about the way she puts out some statements (use of words which sometimes portray rudeness)." SCRIPTURE QUOTED James 1:19 NIV "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," REFERENCED Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray

In this episode, we respond to Bibi's question on the differences between DATING and COURTSHIP. She asks: "I have a question to ask about Christian relationships. I read a statement that says 'Christians don't date; they court.' I'll like to know the difference between both. It will be helpful if could shed more light on the pattern a godly relationship should follow. Thanks." In the episode, we: explored the differences between dating and courtship, highlighted the pitfalls of dating as it is practised in popular culture, and suggested a pattern for building a godly relationship For helpful resources from both of us, you can check out our Link Tree at https://linktr.ee/josephola and our Amazon Author Page at http://author.to/JosephOla.

In today's episode, we respond to Felix's question. He asks: "I was addicted to masturbation but I'm on a journey of recovery. Prior to this, I had other girls that I use to satisfy my sexual urges with and I also masturbate to satisfy my urge. Whereas, I'm also in a relationship and practising no-sex-before-marriage with my partner. Now that I'm getting better and on a journey to recovery, my question is "Should I tell her about it?"" Relevant Resource: Joseph and Anu's books titled "Marriage in View" and #Unaddicted both available on Amazon.

In this episode, we respond to two similar questions. The first from Tracy and the second for John. Tracy says "I've just seen a result today. The lecturer for the course was very strict. In all the three sets of continuous assessments he gave us (which amounted to 30% of the marks obtainable), I tried all I could and I ended up with 14 out of 30. I prayed earnestly, believing in God for a better grade in the remaining 70% for the exams. I studied hard. He repeated past questions; they were easy and God was faithful to bring all I read to my remembrance . . . but I checked my grade today and I failed the course. I just can't believe it. I just can't fail! I trust God so much, like, without a doubt! Help!" John asks, "What would you say to someone who continues to fail repeatedly in his academic journey?" This episode is our response to the questions. For free resources from us, check out our link tree: https://linktr.ee/josephola

A listener, Susan, asks Anu: "When you were courting Joseph and your marriage was drawing closer, did you have any fears? If you did, how did you overcome them?" This episode is our response to her question. Relevant Resource: Joseph and Anu's book titled "Marriage in View" available on Amazon. You can check out other free resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://linktr.ee/josephola

A listener, Lynda, asks: "Many people come out boldly and say 'God told me this' or 'God told me that' but I can't boldly say the same. I know that the Bible says 'as many as are led by the Spirit are the sons and daughters of God.' I have tried to get messages on this subject but most of the messages I've found have no practical steps. Perhaps you may have some recommendations on messages and books on this subject. I pray and I don't want to live any trial-and-error life. I really want Him to lead me. Please help." This episode is our response to her question. Resources Mentioned in the Episode E-sword bible software Bible Hub BibleGateway YouVersion Bible App Is This Opportunity From God?: 7 Checkpoints for Discerning Divine Opportunities by Joseph Ola Additional Resource How do you hear God's voice? — a radio programme on Premier Christian Radio in which a lot of people shared how they hear from God.

We've all gone through one challenge or the other and felt, while in the middle of it, that the challenge was specific to us. This podcast exists to bust that myth. You are not alone in your struggles. In this introduction to the NOT ALONE TODAY Podcast, Joseph and Anu introduce what the podcast is about and said a few words about themselves. The podcast is built around three elements: Conversations Confessions Comfort You can check out some free resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://linktr.ee/josephola