Podcast appearances and mentions of John Gray

John Gray  John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter-century.  In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray's books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. His many books, blogs, and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance and better sleep. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. They have three grown daughters and five grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his health and relationship advice. Link to Show Notes on Website https://fabulouslyketo.com/podcast/240. Resources Mentioned John's free gift Connect with John Gray on social media Twitter: https://x.com/MarsVenus Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Mars.Venus.John.Gray Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johngraymarsvenus_official/ Website Details: https://www.marsvenus.com/ The Fabulously Keto Diet & Lifestyle Journal: A 12-week journal to support new habits – Jackie Fletcher If you have enjoyed listening to this episode – Leave us a review By leaving us a review on your favourite podcast platform, you help us to be found by others. Support Jackie Help Jackie make more episodes by supporting her. If you wish to support her we have various options from one off donations to becoming a Super Fabulously Keto Podcast Supporter with coaching and support. Check out this page for lots of different ways to support the podcast. https://fabulouslyketo.com/support Or You can find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon. com/FabulouslyKeto Connect with us on social media https://www.facebook.com/FabulouslyKeto https://www.instagram.com/FabulouslyKeto1 https://twitter.com/FabulouslyKeto https://www.youtube.com/@FabulouslyKeto Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/FabulouslyKeto Music by Bob Collum Recommend a guest We would love to know if you have a favourite guest you would like us to interview. Let us know who you would like to hear of if you have a particular topic you would like us to cover. https://fabulouslyketo.com/recommend-a-guest We sometimes get a small commission on some of the links, this goes towards the costs of producing the podcast.

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In this powerful episode of XO Amanda Rose, I'm joined by legendary relationship expert and award-winning author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Dr. John Gray. We dive deep into the modern dating landscape and share actionable strategies to help high-achieving women attract, connect with, and keep a high-quality man. We cover: The #1 trait men find irresistible in a woman How to balance feminine and masculine energy in relationships Why successful women often struggle in love—and how to shift that Signs he's emotionally available and relationship-ready What to stop doing if you want to build lasting attraction Whether you're newly single, frustrated with dating apps, or ready to call in your forever person, this episode is packed with insight, encouragement, and real tools you can start using today. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share this episode with a friend who needs it.

https://anchorbaptist1611.com/

What Men and Women Need to Know about Sex and Intimacy with Dr. John Gray Bio: Dr. Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray's books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. John's course “How to Get Everything You Want in Relationships For Women, Men, Couples, and Singles”:  https://marsvenus.com/gift Learn more about Junie here: https://www.midlifeloveoutloud.com

Today, I interview Junie Moon, who grew up bright and bubbly, until one look from her mother made her feel unloved. Her free spirit met a controlling household where even a glance could silence her. By eight, she had learned to dim her light just to stay safe. Being cheerful and expressive got her labeled, and rejected.Bullied through middle school, silent in high school, Junie carried this fear of being seen well into adulthood. It shaped her relationships, her body, and her belief that her voice didn't matter.But something changed. A moment came when she couldn't stay quiet any longer—not for herself, and not for the person she loved most. That moment set her on the path to healing.Today, Junie helps women uncover the hidden fears that silence them and teaches them how to build trust in themselves again, so they can speak up, show up, and call in lasting love.__________________Junie Moon is the CEO of Midlife Love Out Loud, a Global Love Mentor, bestselling author, women's empowerment leader, and Certified Shadow Work® Coach. For over 30 years, she has helped thousands of women claim their birthright: the freedom to love themselves without apology, and attract lifelong, soul-aligned love because of it.Her work is grounded in transformation from the inside out. Junie guides women in midlife on a powerful journey of self-discovery, where the focus isn't just on finding a partner—it's about building deep self-trust, confidence, and inner alignment. When women feel whole and safe in their own skin, the love they've been longing for begins to arrive with ease.She's been featured on News 12 New Jersey, Blog Talk Radio, Thrive Global, and Authority Magazine. Her short film Shed the Shame, which she produced and starred in, was featured at Newark International. Junie is the international bestselling author of Loving the Whole Package: Shed the Shame and Live Life Out Loud, an award-winning speaker, and the host of the Midlife Love Out Loud podcast. She's shared the stage with John Gray, Marci Shimoff, Sheri Winston, and other leading voices in the field of personal growth.__________________Find Junie here:Junie's Website: https://midlifeloveoutloud.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/midlifeloveoutloud FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1962269713813419 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/midlifeloveoutloud Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/love-coach-junie-moon-995262a/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MidlifeLoveOutLoud Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-love-out-loud-podcast/id1477913318 Free gift: http://midlifeloveoutloud.com/innercriticgift Support the showI'm Dr. Doreen Downing and I help people find their voice so they can speak without fear. Get the Free 7-Step Guide to Fearless Speaking https://www.doreen7steps.com​.

*Patreon-only Bonus Episode Teaser* Dean and Kristen are looking back - episode by episode - at their time on By The Book. Today, they give behind-the-scenes stories and updates on Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, by John Gray, PhD. To hear the full episode, get biweekly episodes of Dean & Kristen Look Back, listen to our complete Patreon-only bonus season of By The Book, read our weekly advice column, access the written rules of every book we've lived by, and more, visit Patreon.com/ListenToByTheBook. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Kimmy as she celebrates 400 episodes of client coaching calls, solo episodes, talking with experts, and hearing success stories from people who have worked with Kimmy In Episode 400 of The Charisma Quotient, “400th Episode Special: Confidence Hacks That Turn Dates Into Love” we're looking back at some of our favorite episodes throughout the years around the themes of getting past fears, increasing confidence and conversation hacks. This special episode dives into the heart of her most popular coaching: how dating yourself and learning the skills will lead to love. You'll hear highlights from the most downloaded and talked-about episodes—featuring expert guests like Dr. John Gray, Kym Douglas, Allison Raskin, Katie Krimitsos, and Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu. You'll also hear clips from episodes featuring some great client calls and Where Are They Now stories about how to get over common fears that come with dating. Discover actionable conversation hacks for introverts, high achievers, and anyone stuck in the perpetual “boring date” loop. Kimmy shares how to create instant chemistry, break out of perfection paralysis, and make a memorable impression—without feeling fake or forced. Plus, there's a peek into her upcoming interactive workshop, “Conversation Hacks That Convert to Dates.”     You'll hear: Highlights from our most popular episodes (including date-turning advice from experts like Dr. John Gray) Real client breakthroughs and success stories Proven strategies for making small talk easier and turning conversations into unforgettable connections Ways to break through awkwardness and perfection paralysis, especially if you're an introvert, high achiever, or just feeling rusty in the dating scene If you struggle with your confidence and not getting anywhere on dates that seem boring or contrived, come to Kimmy's next interactive co-ed workshop, Conversation Hacks to help you get from boring conversations to flirty ones.  Register at www.stophatingdating.com Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

In this interview, Lamorna Ash, author of Don't Forget We're Here Forever: A New Generation's Search for Religion, and one of my favourite modern writers, talked about working at the Times Literary Supplement, netball, M. John Harrison, AI and the future of religion, why we should be suspicious of therapy, the Anatomy of Melancholy, the future of writing, what surprised her in the Bible, the Simpsons, the joy of Reddit, the new Pope, Harold Bloom, New Atheism's mistakes, reading J.S. Mill. I have already recommended her new book Don't Forget We're Here Forever, which Lamorna reads aloud from at the end. Full transcript below.Uploading videos onto Substack is too complicated for me (it affects podcast downloads somehow, and the instructions to avoid this problem are complicated, so I have stopped doing it), and to upload to YouTube I have to verify my account but they told me that after I tried to upload it and my phone is dead, so… here is the video embedded on this page. I could quote the whole thing. Here's one good section.Lamorna: Which one would you say I should do first after The Sea, The Sea?Henry: Maybe The Black Prince.Lamorna: The Black Prince. Great.Henry: Which is the one she wrote before The Sea, The Sea and is just a massive masterpiece.Lamorna: I'll read it. Where do you stand on therapy? Do you have a position?Henry: I think on net, it might be a bad thing, even if it is individually useful for people.Lamorna: Why is that?Henry: [laughs] I didn't expect to have to answer the question. Basically two reasons. I think it doesn't take enough account of the moral aspect of the decisions being made very often. This is all very anecdotal and you can find yourself feeling better in the short term, but not necessarily in the long-- If you make a decision that's not outrageously immoral, but which has not had enough weight placed on the moral considerations.There was an article about how lots of people cut out relatives now and the role that therapy plays in that. What I was struck by in the article that was-- Obviously, a lot of those people are justified and their relatives have been abusive or nasty, of course, but there are a lot of cases where you were like, "Well, this is a long-term decision that's been made on a short-term basis." I think in 10 years people may feel very differently. There wasn't enough consideration in the article, at least I felt, given to how any children involved would be affected later on. I think it's a good thing and a bad thing.Lamorna: I'm so with you. I think that's why, because also the fact of it being so private and it being about the individual, and I think, again, there are certain things if you're really struggling with that, it's helpful for, but I think I'm always more into the idea of communal things, like AAA and NA, which obviously a very particular. Something about doing that together, that it's collaborative and therefore there is someone else in the room if you say, "I want to cut out my parent."There's someone else who said that happened to me and it was really hard. It means that you are making those decisions together a little bit more. Therapy, I can feel that in friends and stuff that it does make us, even more, think that we are these bounded individuals when we're not.Henry: I should say, I have known people who've gone to therapy and it's worked really well.Lamorna: I'm doing therapy right now and it is good. TranscriptHenry: Today I am talking to Lamorna Ash. Lamorna is one of the rising stars of her generation. She has written a book about a fishing village in Cornwall. She's written columns for the New Statesman, of which I'm a great admirer. She works for a publisher and now she's written a book called, Don't Forget, We're Here Forever: A New Generation's Search for Religion. I found this book really compelling and I hope you will go and read it right now. Lamorna, welcome.Lamorna Ash: Thank you for having me.Henry: What was it like when you worked at the Times Literary Supplement?Lamorna: It was an amazing introduction to mostly contemporary fiction, but also so many other forms of writing I didn't know about. I went there, I actually wrote a letter, handwritten letter after my finals, saying that I'd really enjoyed this particular piece that somehow linked the anatomy of melancholy to infinite jest, and being deeply, deeply, deeply pretentious, those were my two favorite books. I thought, well, I'll apply for this magazine. I turned up there as an intern. They happened to have a space going.My job was Christmas in that I just spent my entire time unwrapping books and putting them out for editors to swoop by and take away. I'd take on people's corrections. I'd start to see how the editorial process worked. I started reading. I somehow had missed contemporary fiction. I hadn't read people like Rachel Kask or Nausgaard. I was reading them through going to the fiction pages. It made me very excited. Also, my other job whilst I was there, was I had the queries email. You'd get loads of incredibly random emails, including things like, you are cordially invited to go on the Joseph Conrad cycle tour of London. I'd ask the office, "Does anyone want to do this?" Obviously, no one ever said yes.I had this amazing year of doing really weird stuff, like going on Joseph Conrad cycling tour or going to a big talk at the comic book museum or the new advertising museum of London. I loved it. I really loved it.Henry: What was the Joseph Conrad cycling tour of London like? That sounds-Lamorna: Oh, it was so good. I remember at one point we stopped on maybe it was Blackfriars Bridge or perhaps it was Tower Bridge and just read a passage from the secret agent about the boats passing underneath. Then we'd go to parts of the docks where they believe that Conrad stayed for a while, but instead it would be some fancy youth hostel instead.It was run by the Polish Society of London, I believe-- the Polish Society of England, I believe. Again, each time it was like an excuse then to get into that writer and then write a little piece about it for the TLS. I guess, it was also, I was slightly cutting my teeth on how to do that kind of journalism as well.Henry: What do you like about The Anatomy of Melancholy?Lamorna: Almost everything. I think the prologue, Democritus Junior to the Reader is just so much fun and naughty. He says, "I'm writing about melancholy in order to try and avoid melancholy myself." There's six editions of it. He spent basically his entire life writing this book. When he made new additions to the book, rather than adding another chapter, he would often be making insertions within sentences themselves, so it becomes more and more bloated. There's something about the, what's the word for it, the ambition that I find so remarkable of every single possible version of melancholy they could talk about.Then, maybe my favorite bit, and I think about this as a writer a lot, is there's a bit called the digression of air, or perhaps it's digression on the air, where he just suddenly takes the reader soaring upwards to think about air and you sort of travel up like a hawk. It's this sort of breathing moment for a reader where you go in a slightly different direction. I think in my own writing, I always think about digression as this really valuable bit of nonfiction, this sense of, I'm not just taking you straight the way along. I think it'd be useful to go sideways a bit too.Henry: That was Samuel Johnson's favorite book as well. It's a good choice.Lamorna: Was it?Henry: Yes. He said that it was the only book that would get him out of bed in the morning.Lamorna: Really?Henry: Because he was obviously quite depressive. I think he found it useful as well as entertaining, as it were. Should netball be an Olympic sport?Lamorna: [laughs] Oh, it's already going to be my favorite interview. I think the reason it isn't an Olympic-- yes, I have a vested interest in netball and I play netball once a week. I'm not very good, but I am very enthusiastic because it's only played mostly in the Commonwealth. It was invented a year after basketball as a woman-friendly version because women should not run with the ball in case they get overexerted and we shouldn't get too close to contacting each other in case we touch, and that's awful.It really is only played in the Commonwealth. I think the reason it won't become an Olympic sport is because it's not worldwide enough, which I think is a reasonable reason. I'm not, of all the my big things that I want to protest about and care about right now, making that an Olympic sport is a-- it's reasonably low on my list.Henry: Okay, fair enough. You are an admirer of M. John Harrison's fiction, is that right?Lamorna: Yes.Henry: Tell us what should we read and why should we read him?Lamorna: You Should Come With Me Now, is that what it's called? I know I reviewed one of his books years ago and thought it was-- because he's part of that weird sci-fi group that I find really interesting and they've all got a bit of Samuel Delany to them as well. I just remember there was this one particular story in that collection, I think in general, he's a master at sci-fi that doesn't feel in that Dune way of just like, lists of names of places. It somehow has this, it's very literary, it's very odd, it's deeply imaginative. It is like what I wanted adult fiction to be when I was 12 or something, that there's the way the fantasy and imagination works.I remember there was one about all these men, married men who were disappearing into their attics and their wives thought they were just tinkering. What they were doing was building these sort of translucent tubes that were taking them off out of the world. I remember just thinking it was great. His conceits are brilliant and make so much sense, whilst also always being at an interesting slant from reality. Then, I haven't read his memoir, but I hear again and again this anti-memoir he's written. Have you read that?Henry: No.Lamorna: Apparently that's really brilliant too. Then he also, writes those about climbing. He's actually got this one foot in the slightly travel nature writing sports camp. I just always thought he was magic. I remember on Twitter, he was really magic as well. I spent a lot of time following him.Henry: Are you optimistic or pessimistic about the future of writing and literature and books and this whole debate that's going on?Lamorna: It's hard to. I don't want to say anything fast and snappy because it's such a complicated thing. I could just start by saying personally, I'm worried about me and writing because I'm worried about my concentration span. I am so aware that in the same way that a piano player has to be practising the pieces they're going to play all the time. I think partly that's writing and writing, I seem to be able to do even with this broken, distracted form of attention I've got. My reading, I don't feel like I'm getting enough in. I think that means that what I produce will necessarily be less good if I can't solve that.I've just bought a dumb phone on the internet and I hope that's going to help me by no longer having Instagram and things like that. I think, yes, I suppose we do read a bit less. The generation below us is reading less. That's a shame. There's so much more possibility to go out and meet people from different places. On an anthropological level, I think anthropology has had this brilliant turn of becoming more subjective. The places you go, you have to think about your own relationship to them. I think that can make really interesting writing. It's so different from early colonial anthropology.The fact that, I guess, through, although even as I'm saying this, I don't know enough to say it, but I was going to say something about the fact that people, because we can do things like substacks and people can do short form content, maybe that means that more people's voices are getting heard and then they can, if they want to, transfer over and write books as well.I still get excited by books all the time. There's still so much good contemporary stuff that's thrilling me from all over the place. I don't feel that concerned yet. If we all do stop writing books entirely for a year and just read all the extraordinary books that have been happening for the last couple of thousand, we'd be okay.Henry: I simultaneously see the same people complaining that everything's dying and literature is over and that we have an oversupply of books and that capitalism is giving us too many books and that's the problem. I'm like, "Guys, I think you should pick one."Lamorna: [laughs] You're not allowed both those arguments. My one is that I do think it's gross, the bit of publishing that the way that some of these books get so oddly inflated in terms of the sales around them. Then, someone is getting a million pounds for a debut, which is enormous pressure on them. Then, someone else is getting 2K. I feel like there should be, obviously, there should be a massive cap on how large an advance anyone should get, and then more people will actually be able to stay in the world of writing because they won't have to survive on pitiful advances. I think that would actually have a huge impact and we should not be giving, love David Beckham as much as I do, we shouldn't be giving him five million pounds for someone else to go to write his books. It's just crazy.Henry: Don't the sales of books like that subsidize those of us who are not getting such a big advance?Lamorna: I don't think they always do. I think that's the problem is that they do have this wealth of funds to give to celebrities and often those books don't sell either. I still think even if those books sell a huge amount of money, those people still shouldn't be getting ridiculous advances like that. They still should be thinking about young people who are important to the literary, who are going to produce books that are different and surprising and whose voices we need to hear. That feels much more important.Henry: What do you think about the idea that maybe Anglo fiction isn't at a peak? I don't necessarily agree with that, but maybe we can agree that these are not the days of George Eliot and Charles Dickens, but the essay nonfiction periodicals and writing online, this is huge now. Right? Actually, our pessimism is sort of because we're looking in the wrong area and there are other forms of writing that flourish, actually doing great on the internet.Lamorna: Yes, I think so too. Again, I don't think I'm internet worldly enough to know this, but I still find these extraordinary, super weird substats that feel exciting. I also get an enormous amount of pleasure in reading Reddit now, which I only just got into many, many years late, but so many fun, odd things. Like little essays that people write and the way that people respond to each other, which is quick and sharp, and I suppose it fills the gap of what Twitter was.I think nonfiction, I was talking about this morning, because I'm staying with some writers, because we're sort of Cornish, book talk thing together and how much exciting nonfiction has come out this year that we want to read from the UK that is hybrid-y nature travel. Then internationally, I still think there's-- I just read, Perfection by Vincenzo, but there's enough translated fiction that's on the international book list this year that gets me delighted as well. To me, I just don't feel worried about that kind of thing at all when there's so much exciting stuff happening.I love Reddit. I think they really understand things that other people don't on there. I think it's the relief now that when you type in something to Google, you get the AI response. It's something like, it's so nice to feel on Reddit that someone sat down and answered you. Maybe that's such a shame that that's what makes me happy now, that we're in that space. It does feel like someone will tell you not just the answer, but then give you a bit about their life. Then, the particular tool that was passed down by their grandparents. That's so nice.Henry: What do you think of the new Pope?Lamorna: I thought it was because I'd heard all the thing around fat Pope, thin Pope, and obviously, our new Pope is maybe a sort of middle Pope, or at least is closer to Francis, but maybe a bit more palatable to some people. I guess, I'm excited that he's going to do, or it seems like he's also taking time to think, but he's good on migration on supporting the rights of immigrants. I think there's value in the fact of him being American as this being this counterpoint to what's happening in America right now. If feels always feels pointless to say because they're almost the idea of a Pope.I guess, Francis said that, who am I to judge about people being gay, but I think this Pope has so far has been more outly against gay people, but he stood up against JD Vance and his stupid thoughts on theology. I'm quietly optimistic. I guess I'm also waiting for Robert Harris's prophecy to come true and we get an intersex Pope next. Because I think that was prophecy, right? What he wrote.Henry: That would be interesting.Lamorna: Yes.Henry: The religious revival that people say is happening, particularly among young people, how is AI going to make it different than previous religious revivals?Lamorna: Oh, that's so interesting. Maybe first of all, question, sorry, I choked on my coffee. I was slightly questioned the idea if there is a religious revival, it's not actually an argument that I made in the book. When I started writing the book, there wasn't this quiet revival or this Bible studies and survey that suggests that more young people are going to church hadn't come out yet. I was just more, I guess, aware that there were a few people around me who were converting and I thought it'd be interesting if there's a few, there'll be more, which I think probably happens in every single generation, right? Is that that's one way to deal with the longing for meaning we all experience and the struggles in our lives.I was speaking to a New York Times journalist who was questioning the stats that have been coming out because first it's incredibly small pool. It's quite self-selecting that possibly there are people who might have gone to church already. It's still such a small uptick because it makes it hard to say anything definitive. I guess in general, what will the relationship be between AI and religion?I guess, there are so many ways you could go with that. One is that those spaces, religious spaces, are nicely insulated from technology. Not everywhere. Obviously, in some places they aren't, but often it's a space in which you put your phone away. In my head, the desire to go to church is as against having to deal with AI or having to deal with technology being integrated to every other aspect of my life.I guess maybe people will start worshiping the idea of the singularity. Maybe we'll get the singularity and Terminator, or the Matrix is going to happen, and we'll call them our gods because they will feel like gods. That's maybe one option. I don't know how AI-- I guess I don't know enough about AI that maybe you'll have AI, or does this happen? Maybe this has happened already that you could have an AI confession and you'd have an AI priest and they tell you--Henry: Sure. It's huge for therapy, right?Lamorna: Yes.Henry: Which is that adjacent thing.Lamorna: That's a good point. It does feel something about-- I'm sure, theologically, it's not supposed to work if you haven't been ordained, but can an AI be ordained, become a priest?Henry: IndeedLamorna: Could they do communion? I don't know. It's fascinating.Henry: I can see a situation where a young person lives in a secular environment or culture and is interested in things and the AI is the, in some ways, easiest place for them to turn to say, "I need to talk about-- I have these weird semi-religious feelings, or I'm interested." The AI's not going to be like, "Oh, really? That's weird." There's the question of will we worship AI or whatever, but also will we get people's conversions being shaped by their therapy/confessors/whatever chat with their LLM?Lamorna: Oh, it's so interesting. I read a piece recently in the LRB by James Vincent. It was about AI relationships, our relationship with AI, and he looked at AI girlfriends. There was this incredible case, maybe you read about it, about a guy who tried to kill the Queen some years back. His defense was that his AI girlfriend had really encouraged him to do that. Then, you can see the transcripts of the text, and he says, "I'm thinking about killing the Queen." His AI girlfriend is like, "Go for it, baby."It's that thing there of like, at the moment, AI is still reflecting back our own desires or refracting almost like shifting how they're expressed. I'm trying to imagine that in the same case of me saying, "I feel really lonely, and I'm thinking about Christianity." My friend would speak with all of their context and background, and whatever they've got going on for them. Whereas an AI would feel my desire there and go, "That's a good idea. It says online this." It's very straight. It would definitely lead us in directions that feel less than human or other than human.Henry: I also have this thought, you used to, I think you still do, but you see it less. You used to get a Samaritan's Bible in every hotel. The Samaritans, will they start trying to install a religious chatbot in places where people--? There are lots of ways in which you could use it as a distribution mechanism.Lamorna: Which does feel so far from the point. Not to think about the gospels, but that feeling of something I talk about in the book is that, so much of it is human contact. Is that this factor of being changed in the moment, person to person. If I have any philosophy for life at the moment is this sense of desperately needing contact that we are saved by each other all the time, not by our telephones and things that aren't real. It's the surprise.I quote it in the book, but Iris Murdoch describes love is the very difficult realization that someone other than yourself is real. I think that's the thing that makes us all survive, is that reminder that if you're feeling deeply depressed, being like, there is someone else that is real, and they have a struggle that matters as much as mine. I think that's something that you are never going to get through a conversation with a chatbot, because it's like a therapeutic thing. You are not having to ask it the same questions, or you are not having to extend yourself to think about someone else in those conversations.Henry: Which Iris Murdoch novels do you like?Lamorna: I've only read The Sea, The Sea, but I really enjoyed it. Which ones do you like?Henry: I love The Sea, The Sea, and The Black Prince. I like the late books, like The Good Apprentice and The Philosopher's Pupil, as well. Some people tell you, "Don't read those. They're late works and they're no good," but I was obsessed. I was absolutely compelled, and they're still all in my head. They're insane.Lamorna: Oh, I must, because I've got a big collection of her essays. I'm thinking is so beautiful, her philosophical thought. It's that feeling, I know I'm going the wrong-- starting in the wrong place, but I do feel that she's someone I'd really love to explore next, kind of books.Henry: I think you'd like her because she's very interested in the question of, can therapy help, can philosophy help, can religion help? She's very dubious about therapy and philosophy, and she is mystic. There are queer characters and neurodivergent characters. For a novelist in the '70s, you read her now and you're like, "Well, this is all just happening now."Lamorna: Cool.Henry: Maybe we should be passing these books out. People need this right now.Lamorna: Which one would you say I should do first after The Sea, The Sea?Henry: Maybe The Black Prince.Lamorna: The Black Prince. Great.Henry: Which is the one she wrote before The Sea, The Sea and is just a massive masterpiece.Lamorna: I'll read it. Where do you stand on therapy? Do you have a position?Henry: I think on net, it might be a bad thing, even if it is individually useful for people.Lamorna: Why is that?Henry: [laughs] I didn't expect to have to answer the question. Basically two reasons. I think it doesn't take enough account of the moral aspect of the decisions being made very often. This is all very anecdotal and you can find yourself feeling better in the short term, but not necessarily in the long-- If you make a decision that's not outrageously immoral, but which has not had enough weight placed on the moral considerations.There was an article about how lots of people cut out relatives now and the role that therapy plays in that. What I was struck by in the article that was-- Obviously, a lot of those people are justified and their relatives have been abusive or nasty, of course, but there are a lot of cases where you were like, "Well, this is a long-term decision that's been made on a short-term basis." I think in 10 years people may feel very differently. There wasn't enough consideration in the article, at least I felt, given to how any children involved would be affected later on. I think it's a good thing and a bad thing.Lamorna: I'm so with you. I think that's why, because also the fact of it being so private and it being about the individual, and I think, again, there are certain things if you're really struggling with that, it's helpful for, but I think I'm always more into the idea of communal things, like AAA and NA, which obviously a very particular. Something about doing that together, that it's collaborative and therefore there is someone else in the room if you say, "I want to cut out my parent."There's someone else who said that happened to me and it was really hard. It means that you are making those decisions together a little bit more. Therapy, I can feel that in friends and stuff that it does make us, even more, think that we are these bounded individuals when we're not.Henry: I should say, I have known people who've gone to therapy and it's worked really well.Lamorna: I'm doing therapy right now and it is good. I think, in my head, it's like it should be one among many and I still question it whilst doing it.Henry: To the extent that there is a religious revival among "Gen Z," how much is it because they have phones? Because you wrote something like, in fact, I have the quote, "There's a sense of terrible tragedy. How can you hold this constant grief that we feel, whether it's the genocide in Gaza or climate collapse? Where do I put all the misery that I receive every single second through my phone? Church can then be a space where I can quietly go and light a candle." Is it that these young people are going to religion because the phone has really pushed a version of the world into their faces that was not present when I was young or people are older than me?Lamorna: I think it's one of, or that the phone is the symptom because the phone, whatever you call it, technology, the internet, is the thing that draws the world closer to us in so many different ways. One being that this sense of being aware of what's happening around in other places in the world, which maybe means that you become more tolerant of other religions because you're hearing about it more. That, on TikTok, there's loads of kids all across the world talking about their particular faiths and their background and which aspera they're in, and all that kind of thing.Then, this sense of horror being very unavoidable that you wake up and it is there and you wake up and you think, "What am I doing? What am I doing here? I feel completely useless." Perhaps then you end up in a church, but I'm not sure.I think a bigger player in my head is the fact that we are more pluralistic as societies. That you are more likely to encounter other religions in schools. I think then the question is, well then maybe that'll be valuable for me as well. I think also, not having parents pushing religion on you makes kids, the fact of the generation above the British people, your parents' generations, not saying religion is important, you go to church, then it becomes something people can become more curious about in their own right as adults. I think that plays into it.I think isolation plays into it and that's just not about technology and the phone, but that's the sense of-- and again, I'm thinking about early 20s, mid 20s, so adults who are moving from place to place, who maybe feel very isolated and alone, who are doing jobs that make them feel isolated and alone, and there are this dearth of community spaces and then thinking, well, didn't people used to go to churches, it would be so nice to know someone older than me.I don't know how this fits in, but I was thinking about, I saw this documentary, The Encampments, like two days ago, which is about the Columbia University encampments and within that, Mahmood Khalil, who's the one who's imprisoned at the moment, who was this amazing leader within the movement and is from Palestine. The phone in that, the sense about how it was used to gather and collect people and keep people aware of what's happening and mean that everyone is more conscious and there's a point when they need more people in the encampments because the police are going to come. It's like, "Everyone, use your phone, call people now." I think I can often be like, "Oh no, phones are terrible," but this sense within protest, within communal activity, how valuable they can be as well.I haven't quite gotten into that thought. I don't know, basically. I think it's so hard. I've grown up with a phone. I have no sense of how much it plays a part in everything about me, but obviously, it is a huge amount. I do think it's something that we all think about and are horrified by whilst also seeing it as like this weird extension of ourselves. That definitely plays into then culturally, the decisions we make to either try and avoid them, find spaces where you can be without them.Henry: How old do you think a child should be when they're first given a phone? A smartphone, like an iPhone type thing?Lamorna: I think, 21.Henry: Yes?Lamorna: No, I don't know. I obviously wouldn't know that about a child.Henry: I might.Lamorna: I'd love to. I would really love to because, I don't know, I have a few friends who weren't allowed to watch TV until they were 18 and they are eminently smarter than me and lots of my other friends. There's something about, I don't know, I hate the idea that as I'm getting older, I'm becoming more scaremongering like, "Oh no, when I was young--" because I think my generation was backed in loads of ways. This thing of kids spending so much less time outside and so much less time being able to imagine things, I think I am quite happy to say that feels like a terrible loss.I read a piece recently about kids in New York and I think they were quite sort of middle-class Brooklyn-y kids, but they choose to go days without their phones and they all go off into the forest together. There is this sense of saying giving kids autonomy, but at the same time, their relationship with a phone is not one of agency. It's them versus tech bros who have designed things that are so deeply addictive, that no adult can let go of it. Let alone a child who's still forming how to work out self-control, discipline and stuff. I think a good parenting thing would be to limit massively these completely non-neutral objects that they're given, that are made like crack and impossible to let go of.Henry: Do you think religious education in schools should be different or should there be more of it?Lamorna: Yes, I think it should be much better. I don't know about you, but I just remember doing loads of diagrams of different religious spaces like, "This is what a mosque looks like," and then I'd draw the diagram. I knew nothing. I barely knew the difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament. In fact, I probably didn't as a teenager.I remember actually in sixth form, having this great philosophy teacher who was talking about the idea of proto antisemitism within the gospels. I was like, "Wait, what?" Because I just didn't really understand. I didn't know that it was in Greek, that the Old Testament was in Hebrew. I just didn't know. I think all these holy texts that we've been carrying with us for thousands of years across the world have so much in them that's worth reading and knowing.If I was in charge of our R.E., I would get kids to write on all holy texts, but really think about them and try and answer moral problems. You'd put philosophy back with religion and really connect them and think, what is Nietzsche reacting against? What does Freud about how is this form of Christianity different like this? I think that my sense is that since Gove, but also I'm sure way before that as well, the sense of just not taking young people seriously, when actually they're thoughtful, intelligent and able to wrestle with these things, it's good for them to have know what they're choosing against, if they're not interested in religion.Also, at base, those texts are beautiful, all of them are, and are foundational and if you want to be able to study English or history to know things about religious texts and the practices of religion and how those rituals came about and how it's changed over thousands of years, feels important.Henry: Which religious poets do you like other than Hopkins? Because you write very nicely about Hopkins in the book.Lamorna: He's my favorite. I like John Donne a lot. I remember reading lots of his sermons and Lancelot Andrews' sermons at university and thinking they were just astonishingly beautiful. There are certain John Donne sermons and it's this feeling of when he takes just maybe a line from one of Paul's letters and then is able to extend it and extend it, and it's like he's making it grow in material or it's like it's a root where suddenly all these branches are coming off it.Who else do I like? I like George Herbert. Gosh, my brain is going in terms of who else was useful when I was thinking about. Oh it's gone.Henry: Do you like W.H. Auden?Lamorna: Oh yes. I love Auden, yes. I was rereading his poems about, oh what's it called? The one about Spain?Henry: Oh yes.Lamorna: About the idea of tomorrow.Henry: I don't have a memory either, but I know the poem you mean, yes.Lamorna: Okay. Then I'm trying to think of earlier religious poets. I suppose things like The Dream of the Rood and fun ways of getting into it and if you're looking at medieval poetry.Henry: I also think Betjeman is underrated for this.Lamorna: I've barely read any Betjeman.Henry: There's a poem called Christmas. You might like it.Lamorna: Okay.Henry: It's this famous line and is it true and is it true? He really gets into this thing of, "We're all unwrapping tinsely presents and I'm sitting here trying to work out if God became man." It's really good. It's really good. The other one is called Norfolk and again, another famous line, "When did the devil first attack?" It talks about puberty as the arrival of the awareness of sin and so forth.Lamorna: Oh, yes.Henry: It's great. Really, really good stuff. Do you personally believe in the resurrection?Lamorna: [chuckles] I keep being asked this.Henry: I know. I'm sorry.Lamorna: My best answer is sometimes. Because I do sometimes in that way that-- someone I interviewed who's absolutely brilliant in the book, Robert, and he's a Cambridge professor. He's a pragmatist and he talks about the idea of saying I'm a disciplined person means nothing unless you're enacting that discipline daily or it falls away. For him, that belief in a Kierkegaardian leap way is something that needs to be reenacted in every moment to say, I believe and mean it.I think there are moments when my church attendance is better and I'm listening to a reading that's from Acts or whatever and understanding the sense of those moments, Paul traveling around Europe and Asia Minor, only because he fully believed that this is what's happened. Those letters and as you're reading those letters, the way I read literature or biblical writing is to believe in that moment because for that person, they believe too. I think there are points at which the resurrection can feel true to me, but it does feel like I'm accessing that idea of truth in a different way than I am accessing truth about-- it's close to how I think about love as something that's very, very real, but very different from experiential feelings.I had something else I wanted to say about that and it's just gone. Oh yes. I was at Hay Festival a couple of weeks ago. Do you know the Philosopher Agnes Callard?Henry: Oh, sure.Lamorna: She gave a really great talk about Socrates and her love of Socrates, but she also came to my talk and she and her husband, who I think met through arguing about Aristotle, told me they argued for about half a day about a line I'd said, which was that during writing the book, I'd learned to believe in the belief of other people, her husband was like, "You can't believe in the belief of other people if you don't believe it too. That doesn't work. That doesn't make sense." I was like, "That's so interesting." I can so feel that if we're taking that analytically, that if I say I don't believe in the resurrection, not just that I believe you believe it, but I believe in your belief in the resurrection. At what point is that any different from saying, I believe in the resurrection. I feel like I need to spend more time with it. What the slight gap is there that I don't have that someone else does, or as I say it, do I then believe in the resurrection that moment? I'm not sure.I think also what I'm doing right now is trying to sound all clever with it, whereas for other people it's this deep ingrained truth that governs every moment of their life and that they can feel everywhere, or perhaps they can't. Perhaps there's more doubt than they suggest, which I think is the case with lots of us. Say on the deathbed, someone saying that they fully believe in the resurrection because that means there's eternal salvation, and their family believe in that too. I don't think I have that kind of certainty, but I admire it.Henry: Tell me how you got the title for this book from an episode of The Simpsons.Lamorna: It's really good app. It's from When Maggie Makes Three, which is my favorite episode. I think titles are horribly hard. I really struck my first book. I would have these sleepless nights just thinking about words related to the sea, and be like, blue something. I don't know. There was a point where my editor wanted to call it Trawler Girl. I said, "We mustn't. That's awful. That's so bad. It makes me sound like a terrible superhero. I'm not a girl, I'm a woman."With this one, I think it was my fun title for ages. Yes, it's this plaque that Homer has put-- Mr. Burns puts up this plaque to remind him that he will never get to leave the power plant, "Don't forget you're here forever."I just think it's a strong and bonkers line. I think it had this element of play or silliness that I wanted, that I didn't think about too hard. I guess that's an evangelical Christian underneath what they're actually saying is saying-- not all evangelicals, but often is this sense of no, no, no, we are here forever. You are going to live forever. That is what heaven means.That sense of then saying it in this jokey way. I think church is often very funny spaces, and funny things happen. They make good comedy series when you talk about faith.Someone's saying she don't forget we're here forever. The don't forget makes it so colloquial and silly. I just thought it was a funny line for that reason.Then also that question people always ask, "Is religion going to die out?" I thought that played into it. This feeling that, yes, I write about it. There was a point when I was going to an Extinction Rebellion protest, and everyone was marching along with that symbol of the hourglass inside a circle next to a man who had a huge sign saying, "Stop, look, hell is real, the end of the world is coming." This sense of different forms of apocalyptic thinking that are everywhere at the moment. I felt like the title worked for that as well.Henry: I like that episode of The Simpsons because it's an expression of an old idea where he's doing something boring and his life is going to slip away bit by bit. The don't forget you're here forever is supposed to make that worse, but he turns it round into the live like you're going to die tomorrow philosophy and makes his own kind of meaning out of it.Lamorna: By papering it over here with pictures of Maggie. They love wordplay, the writers of The Simpsons, and so that it reads, "Do it for her," instead. That feeling of-- I think that with faith as well of, don't forget we're here forever, think about heaven when actually so much of our life is about papering it over with humanity and being like, "Does it matter? I'm with you right now, and that's what matters." That immediacy of human contact that church is also really about, that joy in the moment. Where it doesn't really matter in that second if you're going to heaven or hell, or if that exists. You're there together, and it's euphoric, or at least it's a relief or comforting.Henry: You did a lot of Bible study and bible reading to write this book. What were the big surprises for you?Lamorna: [chuckles] This is really the ending, but revelation, I don't really think it's very well written at all. It shouldn't be in there, possibly. It's just not [unintelligible 00:39:20] It got added right in the last minute. I guess it should be in there. I just don't know. What can I say?So much of it was a surprise. I think slowly reading the Psalms was a lovely surprise for me because they contain so much uncertainty and anguish, and doubt. Imagining those being read aloud to me always felt like a very exciting thing.Henry: Did you read them aloud?Lamorna: When I go to more Anglo Catholic services, they tend to do them-- I never know how to pronounce this. Antiphonally.Henry: Oh yes.Lamorna: Back and forth between you. It's very reverential, lovely experience to do that. I really think I was surprised by almost everything I was reading. At the start of Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling, he does this amazing thing where he does four different versions of what could be happening in the Isaac and Abraham story underneath.There's this sense of in the Bible, and I'm going to get this wrong, but in Mimesis, Auerbach talks about the way that you're not given the psychological understanding within the Bible. There's so much space for readers to think with, because you're just being told things that happened, and the story moves on quickly, moment by moment. With Isaac and Abraham, what it would mean if Isaac actually had seen the fact that his father was planning to kill him. Would he then lose his faith? All these different scenarios.I suddenly realised that the Bible was not just a fixed text, but there was space to play with it as well. In the book, I use the story of Jacob and the angel and play around with the meaning of that and what would happen after this encounter between Jacob and an angel for both of them.Bits in the Gospels, I love the story of the Gerasene Demoniac. He was a knight. He was very unwell, and no one knew what to do with him. He was ostracised from his community. He would sit in this cave and scream and lacerate himself against the cave walls. Then Jesus comes to him and speaks to him and speaks to the demons inside him. There's this thing in Mark's Gospel that Harold Bloom talks about, where only demons are actually able to perceive. Most people have to ask Christ who he really is, but demons can perceive him immediately and know he's the son of God.The demons say that they are legion. Then Jesus puts them into 1,000 pigs. Is it more? I can't remember. Then they're sent off over the cliff edge. Then the man is made whole and is able to go back to his community. I just think there's just so much in that. It's so rich and strange. I think, yes, there's something about knowing you could sit down and just read a tiny bit of the Bible and find something strange and unusual that also might speak to something you've read that's from thousands of years later.I also didn't know that in Mark's Gospel, the last part of it is addended, added on to it. Before that, it ended with the women being afraid, seeing the empty tomb, but there's no resolution. There's no sense of Christ coming back as spirit. It ended in this deep uncertainty and fear. I thought that was so fascinating because then again, it reminds you that those texts have been played around with and thought with, and meddled with, and changed over time. It takes away from the idea that it's fixed and certain, the Bible.Henry: What did you think of Harold Bloom's book The Shadow of a Great Rock?Lamorna: I really loved it. He says that he treats Shakespeare more religiously and the Bible more like literature, which I found a funny, irreverent thing to say. There's lovely stuff in there where, I think it was Ruth, he was like, maybe it was written by a woman. He takes you through the different Hebrew writers for Genesis. Which again, becoming at this as such a novice in so many ways, realising that, okay, so when it's Yahweh, it's one particular writer, there's the priestly source for particular kinds of writing. The Yahwist is more ironic, or the God you get is more playful.That was this key into thinking about how each person trying to write about God, it's still them and their sense of the world, which is particular and idiosyncratic is forming the messages that they believe they're receiving from God. I found that exciting.Yes, he's got this line. He's talking about the blessings that God gives to men in Genesis. He's trying to understand, Bloom, what the meaning of a blessing is. He describes it as more life into a time without boundaries. That's a line that I just found so beautiful, and always think about what the meaning of that is. I write it in the book.My best friend, Sammy, who's just the most game person in the world, that you tell them anything, they're like, "Cool." I told them that line. They were like, "I'm getting it tattooed on my arm next week." Then got me to write in my handwriting. I can only write in my handwriting, but write down, "More time into life without boundaries." Now they've just got it on their arm.Henry: Nice.Lamorna: I really like. They're Jewish, non-practicing. They're not that really interested in it. They were like, "That's a good line to keep somewhere."Henry: I think it's actually one of Bloom's best books. There's a lot of discussion about, is he good? Is he not good? I love that book because it really just introduces people to the Bible and to different versions of the Bible. He does all that Harold Bloom stuff where he's like, "These are the only good lines in this particular translation of this section. The rest is so much dross.He's really attentive to the differences between the translations, both theologically but also aesthetically. I think a lot of people don't know the Bible. It's a really good way to get started on a-- sitting down and reading the Bible in order. It's going to fail for a lot of people. Harold Bloom is a good introduction that actually gives you a lot of the Bible itself.Lamorna: For sure, because it's got that midrash feeling of being like someone else working around it, which then helps you get inside it. I was reading that book whilst going to these Bible studies at a conservative evangelical church called All Souls. I wasn't understanding what on earth was going on in Mark through the way that we're being told to read it, which is kids' comprehension.Maybe it was useful to think about why would the people have been afraid when Christ quelled the storms? It was doing something, but there was no sense of getting inside the text. Then, to read alongside that, Bloom saying that the Christ in Mark is the most unknowable of all the versions of Christ. Then again, just thinking, "Oh, hang on." There's an author. The author of Mark's gospel is perceiving Christ in a particular way. This is the first of the gospels writing about Christ. What does it mean? He's unknowable. Suddenly thinking of him as a character, and therefore thinking about how people are relating to him. It totally cracks the text open for you.Henry: Do you think denominational differences are still important? Do most people have actual differences in dogma, or are they just more cultural distinctions?Lamorna: They're ritual distinctions. There really is little that you could compare between a Quaker meeting and a Catholic service. That silence is the fundamental aspect of all of it. There's a sense of enlighten.My Quaker mate, Lawrence, he's an atheist, but he wouldn't go to another church service because he's so against the idea of hierarchy and someone speaking from a pulpit. He's like, honestly, the reincarnated spirit of George Fox in many ways, in lots of ways he's not.I guess it becomes more blurry because, yes, there's this big thing in the early 20th century in Britain anyway, where the line that becomes more significant is conservative liberal. It's very strange that that's how our world gets divided. There's real simplification that perhaps then, a liberal Anglican church and a liberal Catholic church have more in relationship than a conservative Catholic church and a conservative evangelical church. The line that is often thinking about sexuality and marriage.I was interested, people have suddenly was called up in my book that I talk about sex a lot. I think it's because sex comes up so much, it feels hard not to. That does seem to be more important than denominational differences in some ways. I do think there's something really interesting in this idea of-- Oh, [unintelligible 00:48:17] got stung. God, this is a bit dramatic. Sorry, I choked on coffee earlier. Now I'm going to get stung by a bee.Henry: This is good. This is what makes a podcast fun. What next?Lamorna: You don't get this in the BBC studios. Maybe you do. Oh, what was I about to say? Oh, yes. I like the idea of church shopping. People saying that often it speaks to the person they are, what they're looking for in a church. I think it's delightful to me that there's such a broad church, and there's so many different spaces that you can go into to discover the church that's right for you. Sorry. I'm really distracted by this wasp or bee. Anyway.Henry: How easy was it to get people to be honest with you?Lamorna: I don't know. I think that there's certain questions that do tunnel right through to the heart of things. Faith seems to be one of them. When you talk about faith with people, you're getting rid of quite a lot of the chaff around with the politeness or whatever niceties that you'd usually speak about.I was talking about this with another friend who's been doing this. He's doing a play about Grindr. He was talking about how strange it is that when you ask to interview someone and you have a dictaphone there, you do get a deeper instant conversation. Again, it's a bit like a therapeutic conversation where someone has said to you, "I'm just going to sit and listen." You've already agreed, and you know it's going to be in a book. "Do you mind talking about this thing?"That just allows this opportunity for people to be more honest because they're aware that the person there is actually wanting to listen. It's so hard to create spaces. I create a cordon and say, "We're going to have a serious conversation now." Often, that feels very artificial. I think yes, the beauty of getting to sit there with a dictaphone on your notebook is you are like, "I really am interested in this. It really matters to me." I guess it feels easy in that way to get honesty.Obviously, we're all constructing a version of ourselves for each other all the time. It's hard for me to know to what extent they're responding to what they're getting from me, and what they think I want to hear. If someone else interviewed them, they would probably get something quite different. I don't know. I think if you come to be with openness, and you talk a bit about your journey, then often people want to speak about it as well.I'm trying to think. I've rarely interviewed someone where I haven't felt this slightly glowy, shimmery sense of it, or what I'm learning feels new and feels very true. I felt the same with Cornish Fisherman, that there was this real honesty in these conversations. Many years ago, I remember I got really obsessed with interviewing my mom. I think I was just always wanting to practice interviewing. The same thing that if there's this object between you, it shifts the dimensions of the conversation and tends towards seriousness.Henry: How sudden are most people's conversions?Lamorna: Really depends. I was in this conversation with someone the other day. When she was 14, 15, she got caught shoplifting. She literally went, "Oh, if there's a God up there, can you help get me out of the situation?" The guy let her go, and she's been a Christian ever since. She had an instantaneous conversion. Someone I interviewed in the book, and he was a really thoughtful card-carrying atheist. He had his [unintelligible 00:51:58] in his back pocket.He hated the Christians and would always have a go at them at school because he thought it was silly, their belief. Then he had this instant conversion that feels very charismatic in form, where he was just walking down an avenue of trees at school, and he felt the entire universe smiling at him and went, "Oh s**t, I better become a Christian."Again, I wonder if it depends. I could say it depends on the person you are, whether you are capable of having an instant conversion. Perhaps if I were in a religious frame of mind, I'd say it depends on what God would want from you. Do you need an instant conversion, or do you need to very slowly have the well filling up?I really liked when a priest said to me that people often go to church and expect to be changed in a moment. He's like, "No, you have to go for 20 years before anything happens." Something about that slow incremental conversion to me is more satisfying. It's funny, I was having a conversation with someone about if they believe in ghosts, and they were like, "Well, if I saw one, then I believe in ghosts." For some people, transcendental things happen instantaneously, and it does change them ultimately instantly.I don't know, I would love to see some stats about which kinds of conversions are more popular, probably more instant ones. I love, and I use it in the book, but William James' Varieties of Religious Experience. He talks about there's some people who are sick-souled or who are also more porous bordered people for whom strange things can more easily cross the borders of their person. They're more likely to convert and more likely to see things.I really like him describing it that way because often someone who's like that, it might just be described as well, you have a mental illness. That some people are-- I don't know, they've got sharper antennae than the rest of us. I think that is an interesting thought for why some people can convert instantly.Henry: I think all conversions take a long time. At the moment, there's often a pivotal moment, but there's something a long time before or after that, that may or may not look a conversion, but which is an inevitable part of the process. I'm slightly obsessed with the idea of quests, but I think all conversions are a quest or a pilgrimage. Your book is basically a quest narrative. As you go around in your Toyota, visiting these places. I'm suspicious, I think the immediate moment is bundled up with a longer-term thing very often, but it's not easy to see it.Lamorna: I love that. I've thought about the long tail afterwards, but I hadn't thought about the lead-up, the idea of that. Of what little things are changing. That's such a lovely thought. Their conversions began from birth, maybe.Henry: The shoplifter, it doesn't look like that's where they're heading. In retrospect, you can see that there weren't that many ways out of this path that they're on. Malcolm X is like this. One way of reading his autobiography is as a coming-of-age story. Another way of reading it is, when is this guy going to convert? This is going to happen.Lamorna: I really like that. Then there's also that sense of how fixed the conversion is, as well, from moment to moment. That Adam Phillips' book on wanting to change, he talks about our desire for change often outstrips our capacity for change. That sense of how changed am I afterwards? How much does my conversion last in every moment? It goes back to the do you believe in the resurrection thing.I find that that really weird thing about writing a book is, it is partly a construction. You've got the eye in there. You're creating something that is different from your reality and fixed, and you're in charge of it. It's stable, it remains, and you come to an ending. Then your life continues to divert and deviate in loads of different ways. It's such a strange thing in that way. Every conversion narrative we have fixed in writing, be it Augustine or Paul, whatever, is so far from the reality of that person's experience.Henry: What did the new atheists get wrong?Lamorna: Arrogance. They were arrogant. Although I wonder, I guess it was such a cultural moment, and perhaps in the same way that everyone is in the media, very excitedly talking about revival now. There was something that was created around them as well, which was delight in this sense of the end of something. I wonder how much of that was them and how much of it was, they were being carried along by this cultural media movement.I suppose the thing that always gets said, and I haven't read enough Dawkins to say this with any authority, but is that the form of religion that he was attempting to denigrate was a very basic form of Christianity, a real, simplified sense. That he did that with all forms of religion. Scientific progress shows us we've progressed beyond this point, and we don't need this, and it's silly and foolish.I guess he underestimated the depth and richness of religion, and also the fact of this idea of historical progress, when the people in the past were foolish, when they were as bright and stupid as we are now.Henry: I think they believed in the secularization idea. People like Rodney Stark and others were pointing out that it's not really true that we secularized a lot more consistency. John Gray, the whole world is actually very religious. This led them away from John Stuart Mill-type thinking about theism. I think everyone should read more John Stuart Mill, but they particularly should have read the theism essays. That would have been--Lamorna: I've only just got into him because I love the LRB Close Reading podcast. It's Jonathan Rée and James Wood. They did one on John Stuart Mill's autobiography, which I've since been reading. It's an-Henry: It's a great book.Lamorna: -amazing book. His crisis is one of-- He says, "The question of religion is not something that has been a part of my life, but the sense of being so deeply learned." His dad was like, "No poetry." In his crisis moment, suddenly realizing that that's what he needed. He was missing feeling, or he was missing a way of looking at the world that had questioning and doubt within it through poetry.There was a bit in the autobiography, and he talks about when he was in this deep depression, whenever he was at 19 or something. That he was so depressed that he thought if there's a certain number of musical notes, one day there will be no more new music because every single combination will have been done. The sense of, it's so sweetly awful thinking, but without the sense-- I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here.I found his crisis so fascinating to read about and how he comes out of that through this care and attention of beautiful literature and thinking, and through his love of-- What was his wife called again?Henry: Harriet.Lamorna: Harriet. He credits her for almost all his thinking. He wouldn't have moved towards socialism without her. Suddenly, humans are deeply important to him. He feels sorry for the fact that his dad could not express love or take love from him, and that that was such a terrible deficiency in his life.Henry: Mill's interesting on religion because he looks very secular. In fact, if you read his letters, he's often going into churches.Lamorna: Oh, really?Henry: Yes, when he's in Italy, because he had tuberculosis. He had to be abroad a lot. He's always going to services at Easter and going into the churches. For a secular person, he really appreciates all these aspects of religion. His stepdaughter was-- there's a diary of hers in their archives. She was very religious, very intense. As a young woman, when she's 16, 17, intensely Catholic or Anglo-Catholic. Really, it's quite startling.I was reading this thing, and I was like, "Wait, who in the Mill household is writing this? This is insane." There are actually references in his letters where he says, "Oh, we'll have to arrive in time for Good Friday so that she can go to church." He's very attentive to it. Then he writes these theism essays, right at the end of his life. He's very open-minded and very interrogatory of the idea. He really wants to understand. He's not a new atheist at all.Lamorna: Oh, okay. I need to read the deism essays.Henry: You're going to love it. It's very aligned. What hymns do you like?Lamorna: Oh, no.Henry: You can be not a hymn person.Lamorna: No. I'm not a massive hymn person. When I'm in church, the Anglican church that I go to in London now, I always think, "Remember that. That was a really nice one." I like to be a pilgrim. I really don't have the brain that can do this off the cuff. I'm not very musically. I'm deeply unmusical.There was one that I was thinking of. I think it's an Irish one. I feel like I wrote this down at one point, because I thought I might be asked in another interview. I had to write down what I thought in case a hymn that I liked. Which sounds a bit like a politician, when they're asked a question, they're like, "I love football." I actually can't think of any. I'm sorry.Henry: No, that's fine.Lamorna: What are your best? Maybe that will spark something in me.Henry: I like Tell Out My Soul. Do you know that one?Lamorna: Oh, [sings] Tell Out My Soul. That's a good one.Henry: If you have a full church and people are really going for it, that can be amazing. I like all the classics. I don't have any unusual choices. Tell Out My Soul, it's a great one. Lamorna Ash, this has been great. Thank you very much.Lamorna: Thank you.Henry: To close, I think you're going to read us a passage from your book.Lamorna: I am.Henry: This is near the end. It's about the Bible.Lamorna: Yes. Thank you so much. This has definitely been my favourite interview.Henry: Oh, good.Lamorna: I really enjoyed it. It's really fun.Henry: Thank you.Lamorna: Yes, this is right near the end. This is when I ended up at a church, St Luke's, West Holloway. It was a very small 9:00 AM service. Whilst the priest who'd stepped in to read because the actual priest had left, was reading, I just kept thinking about all the stories that I'd heard and wondering about the Bible and how the choices behind where it ends, where it ends.I don't think I understand why the Bible ends where it does. The final lines of the book of Revelation are, "He who testifies to these things says, Yes, I am coming soon. Amen. Come, Lord Jesus, the grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen." Which does sound like a to-be-continued. I don't mean the Bible feels incomplete because it ends with Revelation. What I mean is, if we have continued to hear God and wrestle with him and his emissaries ever since the first overtures of the Christian faith sounded.Why do we not treat these encounters with the same reverence as the works assembled in the New Testament? Why have we let our holy text grow so antique and untouchable instead of allowing them to expand like a divine Wikipedia updated in perpetuity? That way, each angelic struggle and Damascene conversion that has ever occurred or one day will, would become part of its fabric.In this Borgesian Bible, we would have the Gospel of Mary, not a fictitious biography constructed by a man a century after her death, but her true words. We would have the conversion of the Ethiopian eunuch on the road between Jerusalem and Gaza from Acts, but this time given in the first person. We would have descriptions from the Picts on Iona of the Irish Saint Columba appearing in a rowboat over the horizon.We would have the Gospels of those from the early Eastern Orthodox churches, Assyrian Gospels, Syriac Orthodox Gospels. We would have records of the crusades from the Christian soldiers sent out through Europe to Jerusalem in order to massacre those of other faiths, both Muslim and Jewish. In reading these accounts, we would be forced to confront the ways in which scripture can be interpreted

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I have had the honor and pleasure to have on the Unstoppable Mindset podcast many healers, thought leaders and practical intelligent people who have generously given their time and insights to all of you and me during this podcast. This episode, our guest Kay Hutchinson adds a great deal to the knowledge base we all have gained from our other guests. Kay's childhood was interesting in that she is half Japanese and half African American. This race mixture provided Kay with many life challenges. However, her parents taught her much about life and understanding so she was able to work through the many times where people treated her in less than an equal manner. Also, Kay being the child of a military father had the opportunity to live in both the United States and Japan. She gained from this experience a great deal of knowledge and experience about life that she willingly shares with us.   After college Kay went into teaching. Just wait until you hear what class she first had to teach, but she persevered. Through all her life she has felt she could assist people in healing others as you will hear. After teaching for a few years, she decided to make energy healing a full-time profession.   Along the way she fell in love and married. Unfortunately, as she will tell us, she discovered that her husband exhibited extreme narcissistic behaviors which eventually lead to a divorce. I leave it to Kay to tell the story.   Kay offers some pretty great insights and lessons we all can use to center ourselves. I very much hope you like what she has to say.       About the Guest:   Imagine the exhaustion, anxiety and utter soul depletion that results when you are in a narcissistic relationship.  Then, imagine being told that you have to go through years of counseling and perhaps even take anti-depressants to begin reclaiming your identity, health, emotional and financial stability, and restore your ability to experience God' joyousness. That's the journey that Kay Hutchinson was on in 2019 when she divorced a narcissist who dragged her through a nearly year-long court battle that almost destroyed her 15-year energy medicine practice where she specialized in helping empathic women make their sensitivities their super powers and left her with relentless shingles outbreaks and collapsed immunity. Through the journey of rebuilding her health and life, she discovered  the one thing that no one was talking about in terms of the recovery from narcissistic abuse…that narcissists damage the five energy tanks that rule our physical, emotional, financial and soul health. Yet no one was showing women how to repair themselves energetically.  But,  without repairing those tanks, women suffer for years with anxiety, depression, exhaustion and a multitude of debilitating physical health challenges. So, Kay created the first medical qi gong recovery program for narcissistic abuse survivors that use 5 minute energy resets to help women effortlessly re-ignite their body, mind and soul potential. For example, Kay's client Donna, whose health was devastated by the stress of a narcissistic marriage, was able to use the resets to reverse stage 5 kidney damage in only 90 days, preventing Donna from going on dialysis and empowering her to reclaim her life. With newfound health, Donna was able to rebuild her realty business and remarry. Her pastor husband and her are now building a successful ministry helping others. Kay is here today to share more inspirational stories like this and delve into the topic of energy vampirism –how we lose energy to toxic people and more importantly—what we can to stop the drain and become unstoppable in reclaiming our body, mind and soul potential when our energy has been decimated by a narcissist.  Ways to connect Kay:   Get Your Mojo Back Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/get-your-mojo-back-quick-resets-to-help-empathic-women/id1699115489 Website: https://www.aikihealing.com/ Free Healing Session: https://www.aikihealing.com/free-healing-for-narcissistic-abuse-priority-list Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aikihealingresets/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AikiHealingResets/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@aikihealing   About the Host:   Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes:   Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:20 Well, hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of unstoppable mindset where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. And as I've explained, the reason we word it that way is that diversity typically doesn't tend to involve disabilities, so inclusion comes first, because we don't allow people to be inclusive unless they're going to make sure that they include disabilities in the conversation, but mostly on the on the unstoppable mindset podcast, we don't deal as much with inclusion or diversity. We get to deal with the unexpected, which is anything that doesn't have to do directly with inclusion or diversity. And so today, in talking to Kay Hutchinson, we have a situation where we are going to talk about unexpected kinds of things, and that's what we're really all about. So Kay Hutchinson is our guest today. She has quite a story about, well, I'm not going to tell you all about it, other than just to say it's going to involve narcissism and it's going to involve a whole bunch of things. Kay is a podcaster. She's a coach, and she does a number of things that I think are really well worth talking about. So without further ado, Kay, welcome to unstoppable mindset.   Kay Hutchinson ** 02:40 Oh, Michael, every cell in my body is happy to be here today. I'm so thrilled. Oh,   Michael Hingson ** 02:47 good. I just want to make sure all the cells are communicating with you, and they're all saying good things they   Kay Hutchinson ** 02:52 are. Oh, good, absolutely.   Michael Hingson ** 02:56 Sell by cell. Let's, let's do a roll call and see how long that takes. But there we go. Well, I'm really glad that you are here. I'd like to start by kind of learning about the early K, growing up and all that sort of stuff. It's always fun to start that way, sort of like Lewis Carroll, you know, you start at the beginning. But anyway, tell us about the early k, if you would.   Kay Hutchinson ** 03:19 Oh my gosh, I'd love to and Michael, what's exciting to me about that, you know, with your show really focusing on diversity, when I look back to my childhood and I think about the various experiences that I had growing up as a biracial child in the 1960s I am half Japanese and half African American, against the backdrop of Malcolm X and at the time Martin Luther King, and all of this different flow of change was happening as I came into the world, and I was born on the island of Honolulu, Hawaii, feeling very much connected to the vibrancy of that space and those islands and that war of the power of the volcanoes, and I found myself just this really hyper sensitive young child where the world came in at me through all of my five senses, to the point where often I was very overwhelmed, but I was really blessed to have parents that understood this child's going to have a lot coming at her in the world, being what the world is at the time, and coming from different two different cultures that I was really well nourished and really was taught by parents who had embraced meditation and mindfulness as a way of really helping me calm my nervous system when I was little. So I really had this beautiful childhood of being able to bounce between different cultures, the US culture, and also living in Asia, but also coming face to face with things like racism face. Things like messages on a very large societal level that I did not belong anywhere, that I didn't fit, and so often I felt that the world outside of the safe space of my immediate family was a world that was very much overwhelming, and felt as if it was not for me, that it was not very nourishing. So very early on, I had to learn how to kind of begin regulating and begin navigating a world that wasn't necessarily set up for someone like myself. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 05:35 yeah, it's it's interesting when you and you certainly have an interesting combination of parents, half African American and half Japanese, definitely, two different cultures in a lot of ways, but at the same time, they both recognize the whole concept of mindfulness. They recognize the value of meditation and finding a calming center, I gather is what you're saying.   Kay Hutchinson ** 06:00 Absolutely, my father was one of the soldiers that right after he came into the service in the 1950s that got assigned to Japan and was in one of the first all African American military police units. It had never existed before. And so through his journey there, he actually ended up studying a lot of different forms of martial arts, as well as some of the healing arts like acupressure. So a lot of times people say, Okay, you practice Chinese energy medicine. Oh, that must have come from your mother's side of the heritage. But actually, the first exposure to healing and energy came from my dad, because he taught us martial arts, and he taught us actually some of the flows of energy on how to heal the body, because it's that idea that if you spar with a person, you're responsible for having to heal them if you injure them through the sparring. So that was like my first exposure to really learning the system of energy medicine. And then on my mom's side, it's interesting, she grew up with parents that were Buddhist and Taoist in their philosophy as well. So but at a very young age, in her late teens and early 20s, she was very curious about Christianity, and began attending churches that were of a Christian nature, and that's how she ended up meeting my father. And so this beautiful path of spirituality, learning about energy and understanding how to navigate through a world that wasn't necessarily built for me, was really at core of how we moved as a family, and I think that really formed the basis for developing a certain type of sensitivity to the nuances of differences and making those differences into superpowers. And that's really at the heart of what I do, not only as a healer, but and in my early career as a special education teacher, that really was one of the things that allowed me to recognize the value and power of children and help them to optimize their growth and   Michael Hingson ** 08:11 development. So where did you grow up? Where did you live? So   Kay Hutchinson ** 08:15 I lived in both countries. My father was Army, so we would spend some time in the US, primarily Texas, but we also lived part time in California, and then we would bounce back over, over the pond to Okinawa, Japan. So I had a lot of fond memories of both countries growing up.   Michael Hingson ** 08:33 That's, that's pretty cool. And it's, you know, I find that people who come on this podcast, who have had the joy of having the ability to live or having lived in different kinds of environments, do bring some very interesting perspectives on, on each of those countries and just on, on life in general. And they tend to, I think, have a overall better perspective on what life is all about, because they've seen more of it. And if they take the time to really think about life and all the things that they've seen, they come to value all of that a lot more   Kay Hutchinson ** 09:18 Absolutely it is that process of being able to really delve deep into the subtle uniqueness of life through different lenses. And when you travel, and when you get that opportunity to experience cultures directly, and you also have, you know, a heritage that's very rich on an ethnic level, you know, it really does allow the brain to see the world through many different facets. And I think that that really is what's needed in a world where, when we look at what's happening globally, there's rapid, rapid change. So those of us who have that experience of being able to bounce through all of these different experiences and take multiple facets. Because we end up being able to digest and are able to move through those experiences without becoming so overwhelmed, as so many people are experiencing today, with all of the quantum leap changes that are happening, changes happening so rapidly in our world.   Michael Hingson ** 10:16 Oh, we are, and we're we're exhibiting, of course, in this country, with a new president or a new old President, we're seeing a lot of changes, and I think history is going to, at some point, decide whether those changes or the things that that he's bringing about are good or not. And I think it's you can take a lot of different viewpoints on it. Oh, it's bad because he's doing this and he's doing that, and it's good because he's doing this and he's doing that, but I think ultimately, we're going to see, and I'm I think he's made some choices that are interesting, and we and we'll see how it all goes. But I wish that he had had more of a worldview. I think that's the one thing that I see, that he has not had as much of a true worldview as would probably be valuable,   Kay Hutchinson ** 11:11 absolutely, and that's, excuse me, that's really a concern in leadership, right? And how do we support when someone hasn't had that vastness, right? It then comes to us to really bring to the table the perspectives that hopefully will trickle over into influencing and supporting energetically. And here's that thing, because sometimes we can think, Oh, well, you know, the President's way up here, and what can I as an ordinary person, do to help bring more balance to that leadership. Well, I truly believe that energetically, we're all connected, so that when each of us is embracing this more multifaceted perspective, and we're not just embracing it in our brains, but actually living that, integrating that into how we move. We create a energy that ripples out, that absolutely touches every other person on the planet. And why would it not also touch, you know, people in positions of political leadership. So I believe that when we band together in that way, we do create change.   Michael Hingson ** 12:15 Well, I think we all are connected, and I think that is something that most people haven't recognized, and the more they don't and the more they decide they're an entity in of themselves, and there isn't that kind of interconnectionalism, the more it's going to hurt them more than anything else. But hopefully, over time, people will realize that we are all interrelated. Gandhi once said that interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man, I guess, and woman, we should say. But, you know, he was, he was quoting back in the day, much as much the ideal of man as a self sufficiency. And I think that interdependence is all around us, and interdependence is something that we truly do need to recognize. And embrace, because no one really is an island into themselves,   Kay Hutchinson ** 13:08 and that's true, and this is where the challenge is. When we begin to start looking at energy, vampirism and narcissism, we're dealing with individuals who do not have that capacity to really embrace the fact that they are energetically and importantly connected to other people. They're disconnected from that. So how they're moving through life becomes very centered, focused on only their perspectives and their experiences. And that's where it can be really dangerous, because when we're in the midst of people that are moving like that, we may not realize that we're actually losing energy to them. And so it's really important to take a look more than ever, who is in your world? Are you surrounded by people that have an understanding of the value of connecting in with one another and truly having a fair exchange of energy. Or are you amid people that may be pulling energy from you in a one sided way because they have wounds that are preventing them from really being full in their own perspectives and in their own energy fields.   Michael Hingson ** 14:24 Well, and when you mentioned people who don't have the capacity, I wonder if it's true that they don't have the capacity, or they've chosen to reject it.   Kay Hutchinson ** 14:35 Well, I think that's the difference, right there. Michael, when they've chosen to reject it. That's not pathological in terms of the clinical definition of narcissism, that could apply to anyone that has simply made that choice. But part of the clinical definition of narcissism is it is a person who doesn't have the choice they're not capable because of early trauma in their life. During the period of time when they were attaching and beginning energetically to form bonds with other people, as well as psychologically and cognitively, disruption happened or is no longer a choice for them. They're no longer able to say, I want to be connected or not connected. There is a disruption on a trauma level that prevents them from being connected.   Michael Hingson ** 15:21 Is there a cure for that? Though, can people reverse that process?   Kay Hutchinson ** 15:26 So as far as I know, in Searching the Literature and working with colleagues, and I also have background in psychotherapy too, there is not, quote, unquote, a cure for that, but the damage is fairly deep. It's a matter of helping those individuals to manage the facets of their narcissism to minimize the damage. But are they ever disconnected from the intimacy that we have energetically with other human beings that tends to still be pervasive, even with long term therapy, psychotherapy, yeah, well,   Michael Hingson ** 16:03 you, I know, and we'll get to it. Have had some direct exposure and involvement with narcissism, but let's go back a little bit talking about you. Where did you go to college? I assume you did go to college.   Kay Hutchinson ** 16:17 Yeah, absolutely. I went to the University of Texas, at Austin, okay. And then later, for graduate school, I went to the California Institute of integral studies for counseling, psychotherapy, but also longevity Institute for all the energy medicine training. And I loved, I loved that they were the only program at the time in energy medicine, medical Qigong. They had a relationship with the head of the school. Was the head of Stanford's Integrative Medicine Department, and they were doing lots of things with looking at how energy healing impacts cancer and also how it affects the role of fertility. There was a famous Stanford IVF program, and what they were looking at was the idea that when women partook of Qigong and mindfulness techniques, they were able to successfully get pregnant at a higher level than if they did not. So it was a school that really embraced not only the science of energy, but also the spirituality of it as well. How do we develop and grow as beings that are souls in the world   Michael Hingson ** 17:27 and dealing with the practical application of it? Absolutely,   Kay Hutchinson ** 17:30 absolutely. So I often say that it was the place where shamanism met hardcore science and together, and that's kind of a little bit of what people experience, Michael, when they work with me, because I'm one of the few holistic practitioners that says, come in the door and bring me your actual medical data. I want to see the scans. I want to see your blood work data before we ever do an herbal formula, before I ever prescribe a set of medical Qigong resets. I really kind of want to see what we're looking at and what's happening with you on a quantifiable level, so that we can measure changes as we go along and process a few Sure   Michael Hingson ** 18:08 well. So you mentioned earlier Special Education song. What did you do after college?   Kay Hutchinson ** 18:14 So, in college, you know, I was studying cognitive science as well as special education. I was fascinated by how people learn, and so my career began as a special education teacher. The first assignment I had, though as a teacher, was teaching third grade math because I began working for a district mid season, and they didn't have a lot of different openings, and they said, well, Kay, we would love to have you in the school, but the special ed position will not be available till later. Would you come aboard teaching math? Now, little did anyone know, Michael, that I was actually math phobic. I was that kid that when I had to take math and calculus and things in college, had my head in my lap. Oh, I can't do this. This is just not my thing. And so to be asked to teach third grade, it was horrifying to me on one level, but then I said, you know, everything happens for a reason to start my teaching career, and the thing that I'm most fearful of could be a really good learning opportunity for me. What   Michael Hingson ** 19:14 did you learn from that? Oh my gosh, I learned that   Kay Hutchinson ** 19:17 the most important thing is creativity, because I had to say, okay, where, where am I starting? These kids were behind. They were third graders. They were behind in learning multiplication. And so I said, You know what? There's a method to teach multiplication with cubes and blocks and manipulatives that actually leads them to being able to do algebra. So I'm going to be creative and use these different tools to not only teach basic multiplication, but my goal for them is, when they leave me, they will have the basis for being able to do simple algebra problems in third grade. And the fact, Michael, that these kids, when we talk about diversity, inclusion, we. In a community where they were drive by shootings were in a community where other teachers did not believe that just because these children were children of color, that they did not have the same abilities and capabilities and potential to be able to go on to school at Harvard or Yale. It made me even more determined to say, I'm going to teach them a really higher level skill that everybody else will say is beyond their developmental level to prove that these children are just as capable as anybody else. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 20:31 and, and the reality is, they are. They have the capability, and it is something that just has to be encouraged. I know that when I was doing my student teaching. I was getting a master's degree in physics, so I did a little bit with math now and then, needless to say, and I was in the class one day, I was teaching eighth graders. I'm sorry, I was actually teaching high school freshman, but there was an eighth grader in the class, and he asked a question. It wasn't, I don't even remember what the question was, but it wasn't a hard question. But for some reason, I blanked out and didn't know what the answer was. But what I said to him was, I don't know the answer. I should, but I don't. I'm going to look it up and I'll come back tomorrow and tell you what the answer is. Is that okay? And he said, Yeah. When the class was over, my master teacher, who was the football coach, also came up, and he said, that was the most wonderful thing you could do. He said, kids will always know it if you're blowing smoke, if you're honest with them, and if you tell them the truth, you're going to gain a lot more respect. He said, That was the best thing that you could have possibly done with Marty's question. Well, the next day, I came back in with the answer. I went and looked it up, and it was as easy as it should have been, and I should have known. But I came in and I and when the class was all seated, I said, All right, Marty, I got the answer, and he said, so do i Mr. Hinkson? I said, well, then come up here and write it on the board. One of the things that I did not being a good writer, being blind. I just have never learned to have that great of handwriting. I would always have a student write on the board. And everyone competed for that job every day. So that day Marty got to do the job, Kenny came up and described it and said the answer. And I said, that's the same answer I got. And does everybody understand it? But it was so great to be able to interact with him. And it all started with being honest. And I think that's one of the best life lessons I ever learned, not only from being a student teacher, but just in general, that people know it when you're not being dishonest, they can sense it, whether they can articulate it, whether they know it consciously, they'll at least know it subconsciously. If you're not being honest and direct with them, and so it's important if you're going to truly earn trust, to have an honest relationship and and as I, as I put it, don't blow smoke at people.   Kay Hutchinson ** 23:12 That's so true. I mean authenticity as an energy is so very transformative, you know. And I love your story, Michael, because it reminds me too. When I was teaching, you know, I too, was honest with my kids. I just said, you guys feel scared of these problems that we have on our page. Your teacher was scared this morning and had her head in her lap crying like, how am I going to teach this to you? All you know, when they when we can be human with each other. When we are able to really just say what is real and in our hearts, it completely transforms the journey, because suddenly we recognize that we're all in the same space, and then we can lock arms to really move through it together. But if the energy is not even, there's not a fairness there, and part of the fairness is transparency, then it creates a completely different flow. It isn't necessarily transformative, and it can create obstacles and blocks versus being that wonderful thing where your student got to bloom, you got to bloom, and I'm sure the entire class benefited from the authenticity of both of you bouncing off of each other saying, this is the problem that I found, and this is Mike says, here's how I solved it. And together, you guys were able to really get that information across, I'm sure, in a way, that got everybody inspired to think about, how can they come about solving the problems too   Michael Hingson ** 24:35 well, something like 15 years later, we were at the Orange County Fair in July, and this guy with a deep voice comes up to me and he says, Hey, Mr. Hinkson, do you know recognize my voice? Well, there was no way. He says, I'm Marty, the guy from your algebra class 15 years later. And you know it was, it was really cool, yeah, and it was, it was so. To have that opportunity to, you know, to talk with him again. And, you know, we both, of course, had that, that same memory. But it's, it is so true in general, that honesty and connectionalism are so important, it's all about building trust. In my new book, live like a guide dog. We talk a lot about trust as one of the things that you can use to help learn to control fear, and specifically I talk about in the book lessons I've learned from all of my dogs, my guide dogs, and so on. And one of the lessons that we talk about is that dogs may very well, love unconditionally, but they don't trust unconditionally, and you do still have to earn their trust. They may love you, but they won't necessarily trust you until they get to know you. And so with every guide dog, I have to start all over and develop a new relationship and learn their quirks. But the reality is they're learning mind quirks as well, and what we do is we figure out how to interact and work together, and when we are both open to trust, and that's the other part of it, I have to be as much open to trust as the dog, because the way a previous guide dog worked and the things that a previous guide dog did don't necessarily apply with a new dog, and so it's important to really be open to developing that trusting relationship, but it takes a while to develop, but when the relationship develops, it is second to none, and and I wish it were more true with people, but we're always worried about so many things, and we think about what's this person's hidden agenda? We tend not to be open to trust. And the reality is, we can be just as much open to trust as we ever would need to be. That doesn't mean that we're always going to trust, because the other person has to earn our trust too, but we can be open to it absolutely.   Kay Hutchinson ** 27:01 And you know, animals are such an amazing teacher to that process of developing trust. I love what you said that they love unconditionally, but that not necessarily trust unconditionally. To me that is such balance, because I often notice in my work, there's a tendency, especially with empathic women, to over trust, to trust too soon, to not require that others earn that trust. And so I think it's really an important piece to find that balance in being able and being open to trust, but not rushing the process to the point where we lose our boundaries in that and when you interact with animals, you really learn how to do that. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 27:47 why do you think so many women are too eager to trust and do trust too quickly?   Kay Hutchinson ** 27:55 I think in the population of women that I work with in my groups, that they refer to themselves often as women empaths or empathic women. I think some of that can come from the over care taking syndrome that some of them may be exhibiting as a way of working through old wounds, that idea that it's my job to kind of just be this wide open radar and take care of others and be open, and they don't understand that it is absolutely part of self care to regulate that openness, to have a filter and to be able to give that piece of time to really see who people are, because narcissists oftentimes are wearing a facade. May not necessarily see who they are in the early stages of an engagement. So by being open, but still having boundaries, which kind of when your boundaries are respected over time, I think that's where trust really blooms. And by taking that time, then we are able to really make sure that we're in relationship with people where there is a fair exchange of trust, because that's part of the fair energy exchange, as I often say, is trust has to go both ways, and in a narcissistic relationship, it's usually just one way. It's the person you know who's non narcissistic, trusting fully and the narcissist withholding trust. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 29:17 and you think that men are much more not open to the whole concept of trust, than than women? Not   Kay Hutchinson ** 29:29 at all. I think men are beautiful in their heart spaces, just as open too. So I see men in paths exactly in that same space as well, men that are natural givers who want to connect. They can often also get in that space of trusting too soon. So when my practicing encompassed working with both men and women, that would be something that I would often kind of give guidance to in the dating process of Give it time. And allow somebody to earn that beautiful jewel of trust that is your heart, and allow yourself to also be discovered by the other person as someone who's trustworthy. Give it the space, because I've had beautiful men that were clients that absolutely got their hearts trampled, and also got their energy siphoned by energy vampires, just because they jumped in, just so wholeheartedly, so soon, so having that balance being aware of the pacing of a relationship, and then again, going back to animals, because that was part of the thing that I did. Michael straight out of energy school, I worked with animals first and human second. And I think that dance that we do with animals is really can be a framework or a model for how to move with humans too, because animals don't rush it. You know, they're going to take their time and trusting you. They're going to check you out and notice what your Kirks are and notice how you respond to them. It's not something to give right away. And so when you do earn the trust of an animal, whether it's a cat or dog or in my case, I also worked with wild animals, it is really such a treasure, and it's cherished when it happens.   Michael Hingson ** 31:15 Yeah, but then even wild animals are open to trust there. There are a lot of other things that you have to work through, but still, the the the opportunity to develop a trusting relationship is certainly there. Now I think that cats are more cautious than dogs about a lot of things, but they're but they're open to trust. I know that that stitch my cat does trust me, but she is much more cautious and tends to react to noises and other things a lot more than Alamo the guide dog does. So they're there. There are issues, but there's a lot of love there, and there is a lot of trust, and that is as it should be. But again, I've had to earn that trust, which is the real important part about it. Yeah, that's definitely   Kay Hutchinson ** 32:07 and, you know, you speak about, like, the differences of dogs and cats too. There's a difference in the neurological sensitivity, of course, with dogs too, it depends on the breed. You know, like, for example, chihuahuas can be very neurologically sensitive, so they react to many things, versus, say, like Labradors or other larger breeds of dogs, shepherds and so forth, they tend to have a more steady neurological response to the world. So they make wonderful emotional support and other helper roles in our lives. But cats, they tend to, across the board, be pretty high strung neurologically, which means that's why they would be a little bit more skittish about why   Michael Hingson ** 32:47 they're cats. Yeah, absolutely, it works. Well, how long? How long did you teach?   Kay Hutchinson ** 32:55 Well, I taught in public school. I think it was three years. I'm still a teacher. I never I just left the forum from a public school into I became a writer for textbook publishers. So I created Teacher Guides. There was a lot of teaching in that. And then I also ran the only medical Qigong professional certification certification program that is a one on one apprenticeship program, and I ran that program up until the pandemic, from 2008 or nine until the pandemic, before I slowly shifted into just this really super niche of working with women on the journey of recovering from narcissistic abuse, and really putting my full energy into that, I still get calls for people who want to certify with me, and so I'm I'm still thinking about reopening the school, but it's been such a pleasure going down this road and journey of developing virtual journeys for women online and watching them bloom and seeing the transformation. So I always say that I'm ever the teacher. I never really left the profession. Everything that I do involves education and really helping people to optimize the way they learn as souls and as whole beings in the world   Michael Hingson ** 34:17 well, and I think in reality, and I wish more people understood it. But I think we're all teachers, and I know one of the things that I learned when I first was put in a position where I had to start selling professionally, I took a Dale Carnegie sales course, and one of the things that they talked about in that course was sales people. The best sales people are counselors, they guide, they teach, because you'll get a better understanding of your prospects and your customers, but that's what you really should be doing. And again, there's a whole level of honesty that goes with that. But the reality is, I think that all of us teach. I know a lot of. Blind People say I don't I'm blind. I am the way I am. I don't want to be a teacher. I don't want to have to educate people. Well, the reality is, we all do that in one way or another. We're all teaching someone, or bunches of someone's from time to time. And the reality is, teaching is so fun,   Kay Hutchinson ** 35:21 it is, and I love that you said that, because we're always teaching people how to engage ourselves just on that level alone, or engage with ourselves. Yes, absolutely. And when we know that and we bring joyousness to the process, right, it can be so transformative, because when we're enjoying that process, we're going to go into those uncomfortable areas, right that may be challenging or difficult, and often engaging with other people, you come up with new facets and perspectives that you otherwise would not have. So I, I love, I love the dance of learning and also in sharing too.   Michael Hingson ** 36:06 My wife was a teacher for 10 years, and always loved it when she she did do special ed and so on. She was in a wheelchair her whole life, so she was sort of bent that way, but she loved teaching third grade. She thought that third grade was the best, because when you start to get older than that, kids get more set in their ways, and when they're younger than that, they're they're just not there. Yet. She loved third grade, so I'm glad you started with third grade math.   Kay Hutchinson ** 36:35 Third grade was really sweet. I went from there to early childhood so, and then later I was tutoring at the university level, I had an opportunity to work as a tutor to actually doctoral foreign students who needed help with writing skills and things like that. So I really have enjoyed that full spectrum, just as I enjoy working with clients that come from vast differences in their backgrounds, and taking the journey into to learning more about holistic ways and moving so a lot of fun. Oh,   Michael Hingson ** 37:09 it is, you know, and I think life in general is a lot of fun if we would just approach things the right way and not let everything upset us, we we have a much better life in our own world,   Kay Hutchinson ** 37:21 definitely, absolutely. Well, you,   Michael Hingson ** 37:25 you've talked a lot about this whole idea of narcissism and so on, and I know you've had involvement in your life with that. You want to talk about some of that and tell us how you really got into really doing a lot with it, and what motivates you and so on. Or how much of that do you want to talk about? Oh,   Kay Hutchinson ** 37:42 definitely. Well, you know, I would have to go all the way back to, you know, experiences with racism that I experienced as a narcissism. I'm not saying that every person who has racist thoughts or beliefs or or patterns are narcissists, but many narcissists are racist, and so I think the early exposure to what I would call someone that is an energy vampire bent on manipulating or creating a flow that isn't a fair exchange of energy happened to me at a very young age. So I gained a lot of insight into how do you move through that? So it made sense that when I was beginning my career as an energy healer, as a practitioner, and I started noticing the different physical and emotional issues people would come in the door with, they'd come in with, say, like autoimmune issues, thyroid issues, cancer and different things like that. But when we began to really look at the root of all of those conditions, we began to realize that there was a pattern of having been in some sort of prolonged engagement with another person, where there was not a fair energy exchange. And that's when I began to realize, oh, all of my clients have had experiences with narcissism and of having had their energy siphoned in a way that was not beneficial for the entire body, mind and soul, and so in creating these resets for clients for nearly, I think it was about 15 years I was into that career. I never realized, because I'd never encountered it directly in a personal relationship. What it was like to be in a relationship with a covert narcissist, and I fell in love with a person who was very, very clever as far as really hiding those aspects of his personality. And I've come to understand that the reason that I walked that journey was so that I could have first hand lived experience. I knew what overt narcissism was about, but I had never really experienced the covert variety that hidden, that more subtle type. And by being in this marriage and relationship with a person that was exactly that, it gave me a lot of insight. To the subtle ways that we lose energy to people, and what the impact is on that physical level. For me, it left my immunity completely tanked, and I was having reoccurring shingles all over my face. I was having high anxiety, which was not a part of my emotional walk. Previously, I was also very fatigued. I had resolved many years prior to that severe fibromyalgia, and suddenly that came out of remission, and I was in constant pain every day. So you know, in seeing how dramatically my own health changed, it also changed the way that I was showing up on a business level, how available I was on an energy level, to really serve clients. And it also showed up in terms of my spiritual path, where I slowly began to get disconnected from source and not rely on that as my critical way of moving through life, where previously I have so it was a just a journey of really, truly recognizing what it feels like across every level imaginable to get decimated by the person that You love because they are wounded and are narcissistic.   Michael Hingson ** 41:22 What finally happened that made you realize what was occurring and caused you to decide to deal with the whole issue.   Kay Hutchinson ** 41:31 Well, you know, it wasn't just one thing Michael, because if he was a subtle narcissist, my understandings of what was happening came about gradually. But the thing that really stood out in my mind, that made me say, You know what, I absolutely need to get out of this relationship was when I went to caretake an aunt that had stage five stomach cancer, and I had previously was in the role of caretaking his mom, when she had metastatic blood level cancer. It was a form of leukemia, and also his aunt, who had a form of bone cancer. So when his family members were ill, I was there. I dropped everything, not only just as a healer, but as a family member, as someone who loved these Dear ladies, was by their sides and really helped them to transition. But when it came time for me to be at the side of my relative, my husband was completely lacking in empathy, and I'd spend the entire day with her, just helping her to quell nausea, get more comfortable, feel more peaceful. I completely had not eaten the whole day because my whole attention was on her and also on my father. Her brother, wanted to make sure that my dad was okay in being with her, because he was also approaching soon the final days of his life. He had a lot of weakness going on and things. And I returned home, and I was just exhausted, and I said, Honey, let's go out for dinner, and let's go out and do something kind of fun, because that's what I am, and I give a lot on that heavy level, I like to shift over to something light. And I was met with, I don't want to go anywhere. Why do you always want to go out to dinner, and he just started kind of yelling at me, and I realized, oh, wow, just even on a pure nourishment level, I need food because I haven't eaten all day. This is somehow becoming a challenge. And I ended up going out to dinner by myself at a time when I was really super vulnerable about ready to lose my last living aunt in the States, and thinking, what am I doing in a relationship where merely asking to be fed, not even emotionally, is a challenge? And I said, Ah, he can't even literally feed me. And I knew there was no fixing that. Even though we had gone through counseling, it's like, no, no, this is just not going to continue. I have to leave, right? So that was a critical moment in my life of just and that's what I would say to everybody in the audience. Ask yourself, are you being felt fed well? Are you being well nourished by the person that you're in that relationship with? Because narcissists are not capable of nourishing   Michael Hingson ** 44:29 you. Yeah. So what happened? I mean, you made you, you realize what was occurring. What did you do? So   Kay Hutchinson ** 44:35 at that point, we had been in counseling, so I got on the phone with our counselor, and I said, I really need your safe space the next time we come in, because I need to have a conversation about divorcing, and I really need to make sure that I'm moving through this safely and with the proper support around me. And that's really, really important, because if your audience. Are in relationships with narcissists who have never been abusive, they need to understand that there's a high likelihood of them becoming physically abusive when they decide to leave. Mm, hmm. And so it's really important to make sure that that conversation is happening in a safe space and that there's enough support around to keep violence from escalating, even if you've never seen that person in that more physically abusive space, it needs to be considered.   Michael Hingson ** 45:33 So you, you talk to your counselor about that, and then you, you, I assume, had a session where you, you, you dealt with some of those issues, absolutely,   Kay Hutchinson ** 45:44 with the safety of of the counselor there, we were able to map out a strategy. But Silly me, Michael, I thought, well, you know, we have an agreement that we need to go our separate ways. We're two adults. We can do this peacefully. It's not complicated. We lived in the state of Texas. It's not hard to do. And so we said we'll just go to a mediator, and everything will be fine. They'll do up the paperwork, legally, we'll sign we'll go our different ways. Wish each other well, take what we each learn from this and move on with our lives. So it seemed a simple thing, but at the very last moment when we were scheduled to see the mediator, mediator attorney gets a call from a lawyer that I didn't know he even had saying, oh my, my client can't come into this mediation without me being present, because he's represented. And it was a bulldog attorney that was known for just rolling over the other person. And I went, ah, and so I got dragged to nearly a year and a half legal battle that really didn't need to be there, but I was very blessed in connecting with an attorney who specialized in helping people divorce from narcissist, and she was able to say to me, Kay, I know you have important healing to do for yourself, but also for the clients that you serve, let me take this over and you go, do you, and I'll just ting you whenever you need to sign something. And she just completely took it over for me so that I could move on with my life and decide, you know, what did I want to create in the new phase of my life? But not everybody has that ability to kind of really lock arms with attorneys that are highly skilled in dealing with narcissists, because the narcissist will weaponize the legal system if they're allowed to do that, and it can drive up costs. It can be exhausting on many different levels. So it's really important, if you can't afford to have an attorney that has that experience, there are many blogs and many places where you can connect to get that support, even if you're working with an attorney who is less experienced, right? Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 47:55 but eventually you you were able to to deal with it, and I'm sure that it was incredibly traumatic. How long ago did all this occur?   Kay Hutchinson ** 48:06 Oh, this was occurring. 2018 2019 Okay,   Michael Hingson ** 48:10 so it's not been all that been six years. Yeah, six years,   Kay Hutchinson ** 48:15 absolutely. And you know, I often say that when you're going through an experience, after having been around someone that second guessed your reality, that we will tend to second guess our own reality too. And so one of the things I think that really helped me on a mindset level, was continuing to ask myself, well, what do I really feel? What do I really think? Exactly   Michael Hingson ** 48:40 right, exactly right. Yeah,   Kay Hutchinson ** 48:43 and reconnecting with that because I had been separated or disconnected from things that were really vital and important to me, because he had said that they were not important, or perhaps I was overreacting or being too sensitive that I began to discount those things within myself. So it's really this journey of really allowing myself to truly come back into valuing all of the things that were really important to me   Michael Hingson ** 49:10 to you. Yes, what you know narcissism is an interesting subject. What is maybe one thing that so not Well, let me go back. Narcissism certainly deals a lot with emotional issues, and there can be physical issues and so on. But what's maybe the one thing that you've seen in your work that most people wouldn't associate with a narcissistic person or narcissistic behavior,   Kay Hutchinson ** 49:41 I think the one thing that people don't really put enough of a spotlight on is that they are energy vampires. They create an energetic disruption across the five areas of ourselves that are absolutely critical for our physical health. For. For our emotional stability and our soul growth. So we're talking body, mind and soul disruption. You know, often times the talk is on the psychological or the emotional disruptions, or if there's a physical abuse component, it might be on that level. But it's really very rare that we are really associating that idea of energy, vampirism, of energy, of being a predator on an energetic level, with narcissists and so that is really core. Because until we start to heal the energetic damage that has occurred, we end up staying in a state of struggling for years with emotions that may be all over the place. I see felt it in myself. I see it in my clients, anxiety, depression, that feeling of being on an emotion, emotional roller coaster, and then all of the physical health issues that go along with it, whether someone experienced physical abuse or not, and then that soul disconnect. You know, energetically, we have to have, I often say, Energy Tanks. We need to have all five of our energy tanks full in order to have a relationship with source that is evolving that allows us to transform and elevate ourselves on that spiritual level. And so if we're damaged across our five Energy Tanks, we will find it difficult to really connect in with the power that is higher than ourselves. Tell me a little more   Michael Hingson ** 51:27 about this concept of the five Energy Tanks, if you would. Absolutely   Kay Hutchinson ** 51:31 that's my own wording, but really it's the language of Chinese energy medicine that's over 2000 years old, built on the idea of the five elements, whether you're an acupuncturist, an acupressurist, whether you are a martial artist, everything flows along the five elements, in terms of Chinese energy, medicine and the five elements are a system that helps to explain the relationship between our emotions, the different states of our emotions, our physical selves, and the way that we grow in souls. So I often say, you know that there's five tanks. John Gray made that comparison back I think it was in the 80s when he wrote about the different tanks that people need to have filled in their lives, like relationship tanks and the self care tank and all of these different things. It's kind of similar to that idea, but each one of these areas has a very critical role in our development. So like, say, the water element, this is essence, and then DNA level. So often times when we've been in traumatic situations, we may start to see some DNA level disruptions, and often that will appear as cellular abnormalities. Cancer would be a very good example of that, that when we're under immense stress, on a trauma level, the water element, which rules our DNA, on an element level becomes disrupted. So I see that a lot in my practice, where women have metastatic breast cancer and other forms of cancer as a result of the long term chronic stress of being in a narcissistic relationship, or their nervous systems, like my nervous system was completely damaged and I was hyper vigilant all the time. Had insomnia, had difficulty processing information. My natural dyslexia and learning disabilities that I came into the world with became exacerbated when I was in that narcissistic relationship. That's the wood energy tank that rules our nervous systems. So there's a take for each aspect of ourselves that gets impacted by the experience of being in a relationship where the energy exchange is not mutual and fair.   Michael Hingson ** 53:50 When you're talking about this whole concept of energy vampires and and the whole issue of having to face or deal with a narcissist. One of the things that seems to me happens is that your ability to have creative thinking and to be creative in your thinking goes down, and the result is that you, you you're again, you're you're sucked into something that you really shouldn't be sucked into, but you've lost some of the clearer thinking that you would normally have. How do you deal with that, and how do you get that back absolutely   Kay Hutchinson ** 54:34 but when we start to look again at the elements and how that shows up for creativity, our metal element has to do with our ability to feel safe and shielded. We can't be creative and stretch into areas that are unknown if we're not feeling safe. So beginning to do resets, where we begin to visualize the shielding around ourselves being restored, can be very helpful to begin to settle that. Sense of, oh, I'm not safe. And so there's specific breath work and energy resets that we do to really help to get that foundation of safety before we even begin to restore other aspects that affect creativity. The next thing that we have to do, Michael is really, once we're feeling safe, we need to be able to center ourselves, because if our thoughts are scattered all over the place, our energy is all over the place, it's hard to get centered, to bring the focus that is also a part of being creative. So the earth element is what allows us to begin to ground and calm ourselves, begin to focus and collect all of these different thoughts that we may be having and feeling so that we can harness them in a creative way to go forward. Similarly, we have to calm our nervous system so that our brains are able to create the rhythms on a brain wave frequency level that is conducive to creativity again, if our brain waves, if we were to look at an EEG right before hitting a moment of creativity, there might be a lot of bouncing activity going on, and it's only when that activity begins to settle and calm that we then are able to implement and bring forth something that is creative. So being able to regulate that becomes very important, as well as getting into the space of reconnecting with a fire element, which is joy. Because I often say creativity is just the expression of joy, right when we are in that joyous state, it's amazing how many different ways our brains can move to come up with something that is unusual, innovative out of the box. And so the restoration of the fire element, take passion, joy, all of that feeds in to the creative cycle. And then last on that water element, that essence level, right? Creativity comes from a deep well that we have as humans. When we're able to tap into that, we not only tap into a level of creativity that is not only unique to us as individuals, but we tap into the collective of the human creativity and consciousness, and so that allows us to ignite what we're doing in many creative ways. And this is why, as women heal these areas. Michael, they go out and do incredible things. They're able to go out and start new businesses. They start new careers at the age of 50 in their passion areas that they never thought that they would have done. They're able to take trips and go and pursue things that once they were fearful of, but now they are excited to open up themselves, up to trying new things in new ways. And so, you know, the restoration of creativity is very much a part of core of recovering from narcissistic abuse, because that's the one area that most people don't think about too going back to your earlier question, that truly gets impacted when we go through a narcissistic relationship, yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 58:13 well, you have obviously been through a whole lot. What allowed you, or how were you able to keep I guess, what we would call an unstoppable mindset, through all of the things that that you went through, what, what drove you, if you will, to be able to succeed. I   Kay Hutchinson ** 58:33 think it's exactly what we've been talking about, having the practices that allowed me to refuel those five takes allow the highest level of energy to kind of flow through my brain, to keep that mindset in that positive area, to keep me motivated and passionate when you're working energetically, to restore yourself the mind comes along. It's not the thing you know. A lot of people say, Well, you got to change your mindset first, and I believe there's value in that. But guess what? When you change your energy first, there is no possibility of the mind flowing into negative spaces to hold you back, because your energy is creating this vibration that then fuels the thoughts that keeps you moving, and that's really the life that I've led. And when I find in moments that I may be falling into a place that is challenged on that mental thought level, I do my energetic practices, and boom, immediately, there's a shift from either a sad state to a state of feeling resilient, from a fearful state to being brave and courageous, to say, Hey, I just jump into this deep end of the pool because that's what I'm afraid of, and that's what I need to do, and trusting going back to trust that there's going to be tremendous growth and benefit. So. The more it's not that hard,   Michael Hingson ** 1:00:01 no. But the other part of it is, the more of that that you do, the more you do the introspection, the more you analyze yourself, you think about what we're talking about here, the more that you actually go through the process, in a sense, the more you do, the easier it becomes, or the more efficient you are at doing it. And the result of that is that you become better at it, and so you're able to gain that control. It's it. The whole issue of resilience is is something to practice, but, but it is something that you have to work at I made a video recently where I talked about emergency preparedness, and I said most all of us don't prepare for emergencies, because what we don't do is we don't prepare our minds. Oh, we can create a plan so that there's a fire, we can grab a go bag or whatever. But how do we really prepare our minds? And that is something that we need to do a lot more of than we do today.   Kay Hutchinson ** 1:01:03 Absolutely. And the idea, Michael, that it doesn't take like long stretches of meditation, people have that myth in their minds to prepare yourself and be mindful when there are circumstances unfolding that maybe crisis by taking bite sized moments, I teach five minute resets to reset the brain and reset the mind, and you do enough of those over time, then when crisis hits, you have a whole well of cultivation to draw from and that that really ends up carrying you through whatever that crisis is. And I love that it's not enough just to prepare our minds cognitively for things, we must prepare ourselves from that deeper space energetically, so that when we're in the middle of things, we're not pulled so far off of our center that we forget that beautiful plan that we made,   Michael Hingson ** 1:01:57 right, exactly right. And the reality is, it all does work together. Well, what's the one thing? Maybe that would surprise people if they knew it about you? Oh, gosh, how's that for a good question.   Kay Hutchinson ** 1:02:14 I think the one thing that that most people don't realize about me is that I am a martial artist, because most people think of me as just that healer that brings that comfort in and that level of soothing that I'm known for, and most people don't realize that there's a really strong warrior inside of K and I think we need to be able to embrace the warrior within ourselves and marry that to our peaceful, meditative selves. That the joining of both of them, I think, is really what makes me one of the strongest beings on this planet,   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:55 and that is as good as it gets. So have you written any books? So   Kay Hutchinson ** 1:03:02 my book, the five elements healing, a practical guide for reclaiming your essential power, is currently being reworked. So you will not find it on Amazon at this time, but watch for it in a few months, because we're completely redoing that. And then also, I've contributed to redesign your nine to five advice and strategies from 50 of the world's most ambitious business owners and entrepreneurs. It was compiled by Bridget McGowan, and that one you can find on Amazon, and I was so blessed to create the chapter on how to create a soul based business, one that really allows you to develop what Michael and I are talking about, the unstoppable mindset as a critical way of moving through what you put out into the world. As a business owner,   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:51 well, I definitely want to hear about the new book when it nor the reworked book when it comes out. So you have to let us know. Oh, absolutely. How do people reach out and get in touch with you, if they'd like to to learn from you, use your services and so on. How does that work?   Kay Hutchinson ** 1:04:07 Absolutely on your show notes, people can get in touch with me through the website that's listed in the link, and they can find out about the latest healing journeys, which I'm so excited Michael, because we have a live, free healing session coming up on February the ninth, at noon, Central Standard Time. I do these regularly to allow people that opportunity to begin to experience healing, the five Energy Tanks that narcissist destroying through a soothing distance healing to see if they are ready to take other journeys with me. So that's probably the best way, is to visit the website. And I know it's right here   Michael Hingson ** 1:04:48 on your show. It is in the notes, but go ahead and say the website, if you would absolutely   Kay Hutchinson ** 1:04:52 and the website is a, I K I healing.com Easy to remember, A, I K I healing.com   Michael Hingson ** 1:05:00 Um,

About this Episode Can you really have it all—an ambitious, thriving career while also nurturing a deeply satisfying romantic relationship? Or does chasing professional success mean sacrificing love and connection at home? For many high achievers, pursuing career goals brings unexpected loneliness, relationship strain, and an exhausting sense of self-abandonment. The pressure to perform at work often leaves little time or energy for building intimacy, leading countless professionals to quietly wonder: Why does succeeding at work come so much easier than succeeding at love? In this episode, listeners are invited to reexamine this all-too-common belief that career ambition and a fulfilling love life are mutually exclusive. Through frank discussion and real stories, this conversation unpacks the hidden patterns that cause us to disconnect from ourselves and our partners, amidst the demands of professional life. By exploring psychological frameworks, practical strategies, and embodied personal growth, the episode offers actionable insights to help you move beyond self-sabotage, redefine success, and create space for both professional achievement and authentic, secure relationships. Katarina Polonska is a Science-Backed Relationship Coach, Published Gender Dynamics Social Scientist (University of Oxford M.St), Founder of the Successfully in Love® Method, ex-Regional VP of a global Behavioral Science Firm, and Podcast Host with guests like John Gray, of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, NY Times Bestseller Marci Shimoff, and Christina Tracy Stein, daughter of world-renowned Brian Tracy. As an accredited coach since 2007, she helps ambitious professionals become Successfully in Love®. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  08:35 How high achievers self-abandon for success. 14:42 Debunking the “either/or” myth for career and love. 19:05 Finding balance: Shifting from sacrifice to flow. 27:41 Katarina's three pillars for relationship transformation. 36:48 Navigating growth: Solo vs. couples work. 43:47 Real-life example of creating change in marriage. 49:07 Resolving self-sabotage and expanding capacity. Mentioned How to Go From Second-Guessing Yourself, Avoiding Hard Decisions, and Feeling Disconnected To Trusting Yourself, Knowing Exactly What You Want, and Creating Freedom, Trust, Intimacy, and Connection - In 90 Days (video) Essentia's website Stratami™ Organic Mattress Classic REM5 Active Mattress - (The mattress we wish we could have gotten for the cooling feature) The SIL (Successfully in Love®) Podcast The Big Leap (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Katarina Polonska Websites: katarinapolonska.com Facebook: facebook.com/katarinapolonska Instagram: instagram.com/katarinapolonska LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/katarina-polonsky Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

As a woman, have you ever wondered if your man is from a different species or on a different planet when communicating with him? In 1992, Dr. John Gray revolutionized how we view relationships between men and women with the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus. It was the highest-ranked non-fiction work in the 1990s and was on the best-seller list for over 121 weeks. USA Today listed it as one of the top 10 most influential books of the past 25 years selling over 20 million copies. Dr. Gray's newest book is called Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. This episode with Shelley Johnson and Kathy Tuccaro reveals new insights by Dr. Gray on the complexities of male-female communication. He talks about how they respond to stress in different ways – especially today and how men and women view and give love differently. You need to understand these differences to create great relationships. This episode gives women tips on how to communicate and rewire a man's brain to get what they want in a relationship. Dr. Gray is internationally recognized in communications and relationships. He is a Certified Family Therapist, a member of the Distinguished Advisory Board of the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, and consulting editor of the Family Journal. Tune in and get the level of emotional and romantic support you need from your man. Listeners! Get a 50% discount on Dr. Gray's upcoming relationship seminar in Northern California by clicking this link here:https://www.marsvenus.com/https://women-road-warriors.captivate.fmhttps://womenroadwarriors.com/ https://www.podpage.com/women-road-warriors/https://womenspowernetwork.netwomen empowerment, communication differences, relationships, gender differences, Dr. John Gray, Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus, relationship advice, emotional support, stress management, oxytocin, testosterone, estrogen, nonverbal communication, couples therapy, personal development, listening skills, effective communication, understanding men, relationship skills, Beyond Mars and Venus, Shelley Johnson, Kathy Tuccaro, Women Road Warriors

Is it true that women speak far more than men—or is that just a stereotype? In this playful but thoughtful episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the latest research on gender and communication, challenge outdated myths, and explore what it means for raising connected, considerate kids. Plus, practical strategies for parents dealing with the infamous teenage grunt! KEY POINTS: Early studies suggested significant differences in the number of words men and women use daily—but newer research shows the gap is much smaller. Adult women speak slightly more than men (around 1,400 extra words per day), but the difference is not dramatic. Among adolescents and young adults, differences in word count are minimal. In older adults (65+), men actually speak more than women. Communication is essential to human connection and should be modelled intentionally in families. Parents should teach teens to communicate considerately, even when they prefer silence. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“To be human is to communicate.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Research study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray (mentioned critically) Happy Families website – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Model open and frequent communication—let your kids see healthy conversation at home. Teach empathy and consideration—encourage kids to respond kindly, even when they don't feel like talking. Invite teens into connection without pressure—engage them in activities like walks, drives, or casual outings. Normalise different communication styles—some kids need space; respect that while keeping the door open. Dump the old stereotypes—focus on building genuine, respectful communication, not fitting into outdated gender norms. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Diáne Mandle is an internationally known author, recording artist with Sounds True, Tibetan bowl practitioner, and educator and the only state certified practitioner/instructor in California. Diáne has given over 250 educational concert programs in 32 states as well as in India, Costa Rica, Mexico and France. . She has been a frequent guest presenter at the Museum of Making Music, California State University San Marcos, The Golden Door, The Deepak Chopra Center, Rancho la Puerta and NPR radio and television station, KPBS. She is a featured expert in the video series: Tao—Living in Balance along with healers such as Dr. Wayne Dyer and John Gray.Diáne owns and operates the Tibetan Bowl Sound Healing School which operates in the US and in France. She was part of the integrative therapy team at the San Diego Cancer Center and developed a successful sound healing program for incarcerated veterans with PTSD.Contact Diane Mandle: www.soundenergyhealing.comwww.tibetanbowlschool.comFacebook- https://www.facebook.com/dianemandle/YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/@soundenergyhealing/videosInstagram - soundenergyBooks: https://www.soundenergyhealing.com/pages/the-light-behind-the-bars.htmlhttps://www.soundenergyhealing.com/pages/gift-in-the-wound.htmlhttps://www.soundenergyhealing.com/pages/ancient-sounds-for-a-new-age.html MP3's and Concert Videos- https://www.soundenergyhealing.com/pages/store-cd.htmlInstructional Media- https://www.soundenergyhealing.com/pages/store-instructional-media.htmlDr. Kimberley Linert Speaker, Author, Broadcaster, Mentor, Trainer, Behavioral Optometrist Event Planners- I am available to speak at your event. Here is my media kit: https://brucemerrinscelebrityspeakers.com/portfolio/dr-kimberley-linert/ To book Dr. Linert on your podcast, television show, conference, corporate training or as an expert guest please email her at incrediblelifepodcast@gmail.com or Contact Bruce Merrin at Bruce Merrin's Celebrity Speakers at merrinpr@gmail.com 702.256.9199 Host of the Podcast Series: Incredible Life Creator Podcast Available on... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/incredible-life-creator-with-dr-kimberley-linert/id1472641267 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6DZE3EoHfhgcmSkxY1CvKf?si=ebe71549e7474663 and on 9 other podcast platforms Author of Book: "Visualizing Happiness in Every Area of Your Life" Get on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3srh6tZ Website: https://www.DrKimberleyLinert.com The Great Discovery international elearning platform: https://TheGreatDiscovery.com/kimberley l

Send us a textThis week, we hangout with Jorge Tichbon — aka Swellbows — to talk slams, soundtracks, digital animation, and the originality he brings to a genre of skateboarding that may lack it at times. From early days goon-bagging around the skate parks of the Gold Coast to the years he spent living in Texas USA, Jorge breaks down the injuries that earned him his nickname, the mental grind of bouncing back, and the constant stream of creativity flowing through him.  We get into skate crews, DIY culture, and how music and skating have always been two sides of the same coin. If you know, you know. Stories, laughs, and pure love for the scene, this is Swellbows (with a hang-over).ShanWATCH: Swellbows mic'ed up skating Bar Beach bowlSupport the show and get discounts (Click on the links):FINANCIALLY SUPPORT THE SHOW  in exchange, I will get the HIGHEST CALIBRE guests MORE OFTEN. Oh, and I'll continue to work my ass off to produce enriching weekly episodes.KRUSH ORGANICS - CBD oils and topicalsOr use Code: THT(Get a HUGE 40% Discount...shipping is WORLDWIDE and fast).Reduce anxiety and sleep better with CBD oil, the health benefits are unquestionable....and it's all natural.BREATHEEZE - Nasal Strips(Click here for 15% off)Or Coupon Code: THTSnoring? Tired and frustrated by blocked airways? Picture the freedom of easy breathing and unlock your full potential with our nasal strips and mouth tape!INDOSOLE - Sustainable footwear ( Click link for 15% off)Or Coupon Code: THT(shipping is WORLDWIDE and fast).Sandals made from recycled Tyres. Timeless footwear for the conscious consumer.Music credits:(Intro) Music by Def Wish Cast.Song: ForeverAlbum: The Evolution Machinewww.defwishcast.com.auhttps://defwishcastofficial.bandcamp.com/ You Good Intro Music from #Uppbeat: https://uppbeat.io/t/avbe/night-in-kyoto License code: BUWOJ51XIZRYYQJ2 (Outro) Music by Athron (for THT)Get yourself a set of Cockroach wheels HERE. Thanks for supporting THT! What began as an idea and progressed to testing in 1986, Cockroach set the benchmark for the skater-made and operated business. Cocky was fully dedicated to creating the finest urethane that Aussies could buy as well as sponsoring some of our hottest skaters; O.G shredders like Adrian Jones, John Gray, Johnny McGrath, Michael Mulhall, Sac Reynolds, Warren Archer, Micha FINANCIALLY SUPPORT THE SHOW For as little as $3 a month. Support the showFINANCIALLY SUPPORT THE SHOWFollow on InstagramFollow on Facebook

In this episode Dr. Jill Carnahan sits down with Carol Allen. Carol offers valuable insights for anyone looking to enhance their love life, whether by understanding energy dynamics, embracing vulnerability, or exploring new avenues for finding love. Carol's expertise provides listeners with practical advice and inspiring stories to help navigate the complexities of modern relationships. Key Points: ✅ Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy: ✨The importance of understanding and balancing masculine and feminine energies in personal and professional life. ✨ How women can become more embodied in their feminine energy, especially those who are work-driven ✅ The Role of Vulnerability: ✨Discussing the power of vulnerability in relationships and the courage it takes to express one's true feelings ✅ Impact of the Pandemic on Relationships: ✨The pandemic's effect on personal relationships, highlighting the increase in invalidation and division among people ✅ Astrology and Relationships: ✨Insights into how Vedic astrology can be used to assess compatibility and guide relationship decisions ✅ Maintaining Relationship Health: ✨Tips for keeping love alive in long-term relationships, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing the relationship over personal needs ✅ The Importance of Validation: ✨How invalidation can lead to the breakdown of relationships and the necessity of validating each other's feelings ✅ Finding Love Later in Life: ✨Encouraging stories of women finding love through unconventional means, such as internet dating, and the importance of being open to new possibilities Key Takeaways:

If men could connect to the idea that taking personal responsibility leads to expansion, more love and what they want – things could get easier. However, they have to stop looking at themselves with the self-sabotaging belief that they're not enough. The reason we have Dr. Ray Doktor as our first male guest on the Game on Girlfriend podcast is that he is working very diligently to help the men on this planet heal. I personally believe this is something that can have a massive effect on how we as women are doing business, how the world is working overall, how our sons feel as they grow, and the examples that men are giving to each other. Much like it's going to take women talking to other women about the invisible unpaid work, we're also going to need men to work with other men to show them the example of men who can be: assertive, confident and wonderful, and still be warm, have integrity and understand their own emotions. Dr. Ray is a best-selling author, recognized by the team behind the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. With a doctorate in clinical psychology and over 28 years of experience as a life and relationship coach, he has shared stages with some of the most influential voices in personal development, including Marianne Williamson, Bruce Lipton, John Gray, and Eckhart Tolle.  Dr. Ray says for men who don't have confidence and they are insecure and they want to be in a partnership, the messages that they're getting is that if they approach a woman, they could offend them. On the other hand, there are men who are not seen as a predator and are well-received. Dr. Ray says in his case, over the past four years he's been told he's mansplaining as an expert. He's even had his coaching partner – a woman – receive messages questioning her judgment and accusing him of narcissism.  “I have just come off as a confident man with a certain level of certainty, but I'm also very assertive, you know, and I'm direct, but it triggered stuff in them.” Dr. Ray points to the more conservative men, who might be looking for a 1950s housewife, and are too narrow-minded to accept women who want to be able to show up and express themselves. He said, regardless of what type of man you're talking about, the issue is that most men are not doing the inner work. They want the easy path. They'll seek pleasure over pain even knowing it's going to lead to pain again, so they make poor choices. Or they say, “I can do it, I'll figure it out,” but they don't.  Dr. Ray says there are many men who will put more value on performance than inner work. He finds that when he posts about holding space for women and their emotions, it's typically the men who will want to shut down those posts and ideas. The perspective can become competitive and combative due to insecurity. Dr. Ray says so many men are very much immersed in the collective narrative of competition and perfectionism. For example, if their partner shares something and it was delivered using an “I statement” such as “the way you spoke to me, it didn't feel good and I didn't feel safe,” it's important to realize that is not a conclusion.  “[Women are] basically saying that I'm here to improve also. I want to grow with you also. And therefore, when you take personal responsibility, I'm excited again,” says Dr. Ray. “But what happens men go into denial, they go into saying, well, you're not perfect.” As far as what women can do, Dr. Ray says the man has to do the inner work. No matter how many compliments you give him, he won't hear it if he doesn't love himself. He says women can be mindful of language when they are engaging. Seeing a man who has been able to remain masculine, assertive and confident and still have access to his emotions is the example that so many men are looking for. It's important for them to see that it's safe to heal, and if they'll still be accepted in the world if they do this work. Drop One Big Hidden Belief and Transform Your Life: https://www.allittakesisonebook.com/ Connect with Dr. Ray Doktor: https://raydoktor.com  Other GoG episodes you might want to check out: Sick of People Pleasing? Childhood Trauma Might Be The Source https://sarahwalton.com/people-pleasing-trauma-response/  The 5 Stages of Healing https://sarahwalton.com/stages-of-healing/  You can check out our podcast interviews on YouTube, too! http://bit.ly/YouTubeSWalton  Thank you so much for listening. I'm so honored that you're here and would be so grateful if you could leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom and clicking “Write a review.” Then we'll get to inspire even more people! (If you're not sure how to leave a review, you can watch this quick tutorial.) #MenHealing #MensMentalHealth #Masculinity #MentalHealth #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney #AskExpert #BusinessCoach #IntuitiveBusinessCoach #WomenInBusiness

What exactly is the basis for democracy? Arguably Iiberalism, the belief that the government serves the people, is the stone on which modern democracy was founded. That notion is so ingrained in the US that we often forget that America could be governed any other way. But political philosopher John Gray believes that liberalism has been waning for a long, long time. He joins Sean to discuss the great liberal thinker Thomas Hobbes and America's decades-long transition away from liberalism. Host: Sean Illing (@SeanIlling) Guest: John Gray, political philosopher and author of The New Leviathans: Thoughts After Liberalism Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this powerful conversation, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus author John Gray joins Stephen Scoggins to break down the biological and emotional differences between men and women, and why ignoring them is wrecking modern relationships. They talk testosterone, estrogen, emotional intelligence, communication, sex, and why so many couples are burning out. If you're tired of surface-level advice and want real answers to real relationship problems, this is the episode to watch. In this episode: - Why chronic stress destroys testosterone in men and estrogen in women - The biology behind polarity and attraction - How role reversal is killing sex and intimacy - The truth about porn, performance, and male self-worth - Why modern relationships lack structure—and how to fix it - Communication hacks that actually work (not fluff) - What creates real, lasting connection in marriage

Come Back to Love® Radio: Are you ready for Next Level Love?  SUMMARY:  In this episode of Come Back to Love®, I sit down with the incredible Junie Moon, a coach dedicated to helping women at midlife step into their power and attract Next Level Love—the kind of love that is deeply fulfilling, aligned, and free from past patterns. We dive into: Breaking Free from Old Love Stories – How midlife is the perfect time to rewrite the narrative around love and relationships. The Keys to Next Level Love – What shifts need to happen to call in a conscious, healthy partnership. Embodying Worthiness & Confidence – The inner work that magnetizes true connection. Healing Past Wounds – Why self-love and self-trust are the foundations for love that lasts. If you're a woman at midlife longing for a relationship that feels expansive, nourishing, and truly aligned—this episode is for you! And wait til your hear Junie's personal story of magnetizing magnificent love beyond what she ever thought was possible!  Tune in now on Come Back to Love®, available on 55+ platforms! BIO: Junie Moon, CEO of Midlife Love Out Loud, a Spiritual Love Mentor, Best-selling Author, and Certified Shadow Work® Coach, is dedicated to guiding people in midlife on a transformative journey towards self-discovery and empowerment. Through heart-centered coaching and mindset techniques, she helps her clients cultivate a deep sense of self-love, clarity and confidence. Junie has been seen on News 12 New Jersey, Blog Talk Radio, Authority Magazine, Thrive Global and in the Newark International with her film Shed the Shame that she produced and starred in. She's also the International Bestselling author of Loving The Whole Package: Shed The Shame and Live Life Out Loud, International Award winning speaker and host of the successful Midlife Love Out Loud podcast. Junie has shared the stage with Sheri Winston, John Gray, Marci Shimoff and other ground-breaking thought leaders of our time.  Free gift for our listeners: https://midlifeloveoutloud.com/quiz/ What is your Love Avatar?   Find out your level of Relationship Readiness Discover your Love Superpower Experience long-lasting healthy love sooner! Take the 2-Minute Quiz  Learn more about Robyn here: https://www.comebacktolove.com

In episode 91 of The Road to Wisdom podcast, Chloe & Keshia speak with "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" Author, John Gray. This is a 2 part series , please go back to part one if you haven't already! We invited John on for a second time to discuss what it takes to deepen our connection in partnership. Relationships are complex, shaped by communication, emotional needs, and cultural expectations. In this episode, we explore why relationships break down, the impact of unresolved complaints, and how emotional availability—or the lack of it—affects connection. We discuss how cultural influences and evolving gender roles shape modern relationships, often creating tension between tradition and personal fulfillment. Safety, both emotional and physical, is essential for trust and intimacy, while community support can make or break a partnership. The conversation shifts to monogamy, emotional fulfillment, and the role of intimacy in long-term commitment. Communication styles often differ between men and women, leading to misunderstandings that fuel conflict. We break down how to navigate disagreements effectively and whether silence is a tool for healing or a sign of disconnection. Loved what you heard in this episode? Your support means the world. Make sure to hit that subscribe button, spread the word with your pals, and drop us a review. By doing so, you're not just tuning in – you're fueling our community's growth and paving the way for more incredible guests to grace our show. As the week rolls by, we're already cooking up more tantalizing content for your hungry ears. Keen to stay in the loop with the latest episode releases? Follow our journey on Instagram at @theroadtowisdom.podcast and catch behind-the-scenes action on our YouTube channel @theroadtowisdompodcast. Don't miss out on a thing – also, snag the freshest updates straight to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletter over at ⁠⁠https://www.theroadtowisdompodcast.com/⁠⁠. It's your VIP ticket to all things The Road To Wisdom

In episode 91 of The Road to Wisdom podcast, Chloe & Keshia speak with "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" Author, John Gray. This is a 2 part series, please go back to part one if you haven't already! We invited John on for a second time to discuss what it takes to deepen our connection in partnership. Relationships are complex, shaped by communication, emotional needs, and cultural expectations. In this episode, we explore why relationships break down, the impact of unresolved complaints, and how emotional availability—or the lack of it—affects connection. We discuss how cultural influences and evolving gender roles shape modern relationships, often creating tension between tradition and personal fulfillment. Safety, both emotional and physical, is essential for trust and intimacy, while community support can make or break a partnership. The conversation shifts to monogamy, emotional fulfillment, and the role of intimacy in long-term commitment. Communication styles often differ between men and women, leading to misunderstandings that fuel conflict. We break down how to navigate disagreements effectively and whether silence is a tool for healing or a sign of disconnection. Loved what you heard in this episode? Your support means the world. Make sure to hit that subscribe button, spread the word with your pals, and drop us a review. By doing so, you're not just tuning in – you're fueling our community's growth and paving the way for more incredible guests to grace our show. As the week rolls by, we're already cooking up more tantalizing content for your hungry ears. Keen to stay in the loop with the latest episode releases? Follow our journey on Instagram at @theroadtowisdom.podcast and catch behind-the-scenes action on our YouTube channel @theroadtowisdompodcast. Don't miss out on a thing – also, snag the freshest updates straight to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletter over at ⁠⁠https://www.theroadtowisdompodcast.com/⁠⁠. It's your VIP ticket to all things The Road To Wisdom

In episode 90 of The Road to Wisdom podcast, Chloe & Keshia speak with "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" Author, John Gray. We invited John on for a second time to discuss what it takes to deepen our connection in partnership. Relationships are complex, shaped by communication, emotional needs, and cultural expectations. In this episode, we explore why relationships break down, the impact of unresolved complaints, and how emotional availability—or the lack of it—affects connection. We discuss how cultural influences and evolving gender roles shape modern relationships, often creating tension between tradition and personal fulfillment. Safety, both emotional and physical, is essential for trust and intimacy, while community support can make or break a partnership. The conversation shifts to monogamy, emotional fulfillment, and the role of intimacy in long-term commitment. Communication styles often differ between men and women, leading to misunderstandings that fuel conflict. We break down how to navigate disagreements effectively and whether silence is a tool for healing or a sign of disconnection. Loved what you heard in this episode? Your support means the world. Make sure to hit that subscribe button, spread the word with your pals, and drop us a review. By doing so, you're not just tuning in – you're fueling our community's growth and paving the way for more incredible guests to grace our show. As the week rolls by, we're already cooking up more tantalizing content for your hungry ears. Keen to stay in the loop with the latest episode releases? Follow our journey on Instagram at @theroadtowisdom.podcast and catch behind-the-scenes action on our YouTube channel @theroadtowisdompodcast. Don't miss out on a thing – also, snag the freshest updates straight to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletter over at ⁠⁠https://www.theroadtowisdompodcast.com/⁠⁠. It's your VIP ticket to all things The Road To Wisdom

In episode 90 of The Road to Wisdom podcast, Chloe & Keshia speak with "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" Author, John Gray. We invited John on for a second time to discuss what it takes to deepen our connection in partnership. Relationships are complex, shaped by communication, emotional needs, and cultural expectations. In this episode, we explore why relationships break down, the impact of unresolved complaints, and how emotional availability—or the lack of it—affects connection. We discuss how cultural influences and evolving gender roles shape modern relationships, often creating tension between tradition and personal fulfillment. Safety, both emotional and physical, is essential for trust and intimacy, while community support can make or break a partnership. The conversation shifts to monogamy, emotional fulfillment, and the role of intimacy in long-term commitment. Communication styles often differ between men and women, leading to misunderstandings that fuel conflict. We break down how to navigate disagreements effectively and whether silence is a tool for healing or a sign of disconnection. Loved what you heard in this episode? Your support means the world. Make sure to hit that subscribe button, spread the word with your pals, and drop us a review. By doing so, you're not just tuning in – you're fueling our community's growth and paving the way for more incredible guests to grace our show. As the week rolls by, we're already cooking up more tantalizing content for your hungry ears. Keen to stay in the loop with the latest episode releases? Follow our journey on Instagram at @theroadtowisdom.podcast and catch behind-the-scenes action on our YouTube channel @theroadtowisdompodcast. Don't miss out on a thing – also, snag the freshest updates straight to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletter over at ⁠⁠https://www.theroadtowisdompodcast.com/⁠⁠. It's your VIP ticket to all things The Road To Wisdom

In today's episode, I sit down with Craig Siegel and relationship expert John Gray, the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. We break down the science behind how men and women communicate, why listening without problem-solving strengthens emotional connection, and how subtle shifts in conversation can transform relationships. John shares the latest research on mirror neurons, stress responses, and the biological differences that shape the way we connect. Whether in marriage, friendships, or professional relationships, understanding these dynamics can lead to stronger, more fulfilling connections.

The celebrated American theorist, Francis Fukuyama, in his book 'The End of History and the Last Man' argued that US-style liberalism was the ultimate destination for all mankind, 'the final form of human government'.John Gray explains why he believes his prophecy has been turned on its head. 'As in the past, many human beings will live under tyrannies, theocracies, and empires of various kinds,' John writes. 'Failed states and zones of anarchy will be common. Democratic nations are likely to be rare, and often short-lived.'Producer: Adele Armstrong Sound: Peter Bosher Production coordinator: Liam Morrey Editor: Penny Murphy

The entire army of the American Revolution died before John Gray. When Gray passed in March of 1868, he was the last soldier standing. In this episode, we learn a little about the life and times of this Noble County veteran with a unique distinction. www.ohiomysteries.com feedback@ohiomysteries.com www.patreon.com/ohiomysteries www.twitter.com/mysteriesohio www.facebook.com/ohiomysteries Additional music: New Horizon - Aderin; Audionautix- The Great Unknown; The Great Phospher- Daniel Birch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you questioning if your time to find lasting love has passed after hitting 40? Let go of the doubts! In Episode 389 of The Charisma Quotient, “Later Daters: Finding Love at Any Age – Interview with Dr. John Gray,” Kimmy is thrilled to welcome back the legendary Dr. John Gray, author of the groundbreaking "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus," as he debunks age-related myths and explores the invigorating world of second-chance romances. With his extensive knowledge and experience, John explains why the desire for companionship doesn't change with age and how both men and women can rediscover love beyond their youthful years. In their candid discussion, Kimmy and John unravel the complexities of dating later in life, emphasizing the importance of embracing newfound freedom and the playful aspects of dating. They delve into the changes in male and female dynamics and explore how aging affects relationships and sex drives. John shares fascinating statistics, such as the discrepancy in how men and women typically move on after divorce, highlighting differences in motivation and readiness. You'll hear: Key strategies for embracing your feminine energy, allowing yourself to feel sexy and confident, which is vital for attracting solid and meaningful connections. Practical and scientific explanations of the dynamics of testosterone and estrogen in fostering attraction and maintaining chemistry in later life. Fascinating data on remarriage rates among those who are over 50, illustrating that love the second time around is not only possible but probable. A touching story about one of Kimmy's clients, a widow who rediscovered love unexpectedly, leading to a heartwarming marriage announcement. If you're ready to navigate the dating scene later in life, Kimmy has a new workshop coming up on March 25th - The Dating Improv Game where you can practice creating chemistry through play. You will learn how to harness the power of flirty moves, engaging conversations, and body language to create lasting impressions through a series of mock dates and coaching.  Register now at www.stophatingdating.com. Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com  

The Chemistry of Love: Healing Betrayal & Reigniting Desire with Dr. John Gray Can science explain the breakdown of relationships after betrayal—and the path to rebuilding love? In this powerful episode, Lora Cheadle sits down with Dr. John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, to uncover the biological and emotional dynamics that shape relationships. Dr. Gray reveals the hidden role of hormones in attraction, trust, and intimacy, explaining why betrayal impacts men and women differently. He shares actionable biohacks to restore connection, reignite passion, and help couples move from survival to sovereignty in their relationships. Whether you're recovering from infidelity or simply looking to strengthen your partnership, this episode is packed with science-backed strategies to create lasting love. Top 3 Takeaways: Why men and women experience betrayal differently – and how hormonal imbalances fuel emotional disconnection. The surprising power of small acts – how daily, five-minute gestures can rebuild trust and intimacy. How to ‘biohack' your relationship – simple techniques to increase testosterone in men and estrogen in women for greater love and desire. Ready to heal your body and mind after betrayal? Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with Lora today! About John Gray: John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray's books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance and better sleep. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Special Announcement! Don't miss Lora Cheadle's new book, "It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive," This essential guide differentiates between burnout and betrayal, offering five transformative steps to recovery. Available on Amazon. www.itsnotburnoutitsbetrayal.com Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. If you're ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let's talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.  Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again. About Lora: Lora Cheadle is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, and TEDx speaker who helps women heal from betrayal on an energetic, emotional, and ancestral level—while also providing legal guidance to help them navigate the practical complexities of infidelity and relationship transitions. She empowers women to rise from the ashes, reclaim their identity and self-worth, break free from repeating patterns, and step into their power with confidence, clarity, and grace. After being shattered by her husband's fifteen years of infidelity, Lora knows firsthand what it takes to transform devastation into an invitation for healing, freedom, and joy. Her unique approach blends deep emotional healing with tangible legal and life strategies, guiding women beyond betrayal into lives of unapologetic confidence and purpose. As the founder of Life Choreography Coaching & Advocacy, Lora provides comprehensive legal, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support on demand. She believes that infidelity doesn't have to be the end of the dream you poured your heart and soul into—it can be the beginning of a life filled with sovereignty, connection, and joy. Licensed to practice law in California and Colorado, Lora is also a trauma-aware coach, clinical hypnotherapist, somatic attachment therapist, and advanced integrated energy practitioner. She is certified in yoga, mindfulness, group fitness, and personal training, bringing a holistic perspective to healing. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Based in Colorado, Lora is an adventure-seeker who loves travel, a great book, and saying yes to life's magic. Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT  READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you've always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It's a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA25 for 25% off your order!

Would you believe if someone told you that the master key to the life you truly desire lies in your hidden beliefs? That you only really have oneor two BIG hidden beliefs that are holding you back in your life? And that letting go of these hidden beliefs from your mind and body would instantly have a profound positive impact on your life? Well that's the exact message from my guest this week and it's one that I whole heartedly agree with! Dr. Ray Doktor is a best-selling author with a doctorate in clinical psychology and over 28 years of experience as a life and relationship coach. His new book, All It Takes Is One, combines his understanding of the influence of core beliefs on individuals and his expertise in relationship coaching. On this guest episode, Ray talks about Woman stepping into their true sovereignty and developing their own Divine Masculine to set strong boundaries. He affirms thatmany men are not trustworthy so Women often overcompensate in their masculine which can be rebalanced.Together we explore the idea of Functional Spirituality—how we can take the often ethereal concepts of Divine Feminine energy and spiritual healing and apply them in ways that create tangible progress in our lives. Dr Ray offers valuable insight into what leads Women to get stuck in the same cycles with dating and how to break out once and for all. Advice I could surely use and he does speak to me as a case study on behalf of many Women who also fear upsetting others over their own needs and wellbeing. We discuss how we can create sacred spaces for communication that encourage intimacy and understanding without triggering defensiveness and connect with other healed & healthy beings.Bio:Dr. Ray Doktor is a best-selling author whose book was published by the team behind the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. With a doctorate in clinical psychology and over 28 years of experience as a life and relationship coach, Dr. Ray has shared stages with some of the most influential voices in personal development, including Marianne Williamson, Bruce Lipton, John Gray, and Eckhart Tolle. His expertise has been featured on the E Channel, HBO, and KCAL 9 Los Angeles, as well as in Psychology Today, Men's Health, and the Los Angeles Times.Learn more about Dr. Ray and connect with him here:website https://raydoktor.com/ To experience rapid breakthroughs, including free life hacks and support, click on https://bit.ly/ray-doktor. You can access Dr. Ray's group coaching experience, and much more. Drop One Big Hidden Belief and Transform Your LifeWhat if changing just one hidden belief could unlock your full potential? In "All It Takes Is One," Dr. Ray Doktor, Psy. D., shares the key to a life of happiness and fulfillment, drawing from 30 years of experience and powerful techniques. Ready to transcend your limits? Get your copy here: https://www.allittakesisonebook.com/

Can science explain the breakdown of relationships after betrayal—and the path to rebuilding love? In this powerful episode, Lora Cheadle sits down with Dr. John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, to uncover the biological and emotional dynamics that shape relationships. Dr. Gray reveals the hidden role of hormones in attraction, trust, and intimacy, explaining why betrayal impacts men and women differently. He shares actionable biohacks to restore connection, reignite passion, and help couples move from survival to sovereignty in their relationships. Whether you're recovering from infidelity or simply looking to strengthen your partnership, this episode is packed with science-backed strategies to create lasting love. Top 3 Takeaways:   Why men and women experience betrayal differently – and how hormonal imbalances fuel emotional disconnection. The surprising power of small acts – how daily, five-minute gestures can rebuild trust and intimacy. How to ‘biohack' your relationship – simple techniques to increase testosterone in men and estrogen in women for greater love and desire.  

In this episode Brian with a B and Amferny discuss the 1996 action movie, The Gimmer Man. Enjoy the discussion about Detective Jack Cole's revenge mission against the killer responsible for his ex-wife's death while being a butthole the entire time. This movie is directed by John Gray and stars Steven Segal, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Bob Gunton, Brian Cox, John M. Jackson and Stephen Toblowsky. This movie is available on Prime Video, Apple TV, Google Play and YouTube. Instagram Links: Follow Keenen Ivory Wayans @keenenivorywayans Follow Brian Cox @coxusa Follow Stephen Toblowsky @stephentobo The podcast art is by @delasernaxtattoos on Instagram and has been revised by rodrick_booker on Fiverr. If you like what you're hearing subscribe and comment on our Instagram @berated_b_rated_movies, Facebook @Berated B RatedMovies and Tik Tok @berated_b_rated_movies. Check out our website at Beratedbratedmovies.com. If you have any comments or movie suggestions please send them to beratedbratedmovies@gmail.com RATED G®, RATED PG®, RATED PG-13®, RATED NC-17®, and RATED R® are certification marks owned by the Motion Picture Association, Inc. This podcast has not been rated or certified pursuant to the Motion Picture Association, Inc.'s film rating system nor is this podcast authorized by, endorsed by, or affiliated with the Motion Picture Association, Inc.

Guest Host Rich Bera and Dr. John Gray discuss the role of hormones in sex and relationships.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Lora Cheadle welcomes Dr. Ray Doktor, a life and relationship coach, to explore the deep emotional work required to heal from betrayal. Together, they unpack why men often struggle to express emotions, how women can stop waiting for a partner's “potential,” and the self-sabotaging patterns that keep people stuck. Top 3 Takeaways: Healing Starts with You – Infidelity shakes your sense of self, but recovery begins by turning inward and rebuilding your relationship with yourself. Wishful Thinking vs. Reality – Many women hold onto their partner's “potential,” but true healing comes from accepting who they really are, not who you wish they could be. Men and Emotional Avoidance – Many men avoid deep emotional work, opting for quick-fix pleasure (cheating, drinking, distractions) over true healing. A thriving relationship requires both partners to grow together.  

“You have to also see there's good and bad in this world. There are things that work and things that don't work, but there's also one perspective that everything is exactly perfect”. In this episode of SoulTalk, we're thrilled to welcome back John Gray on a special Valentine's Day edition, the renowned relationship expert and author of the best-selling book: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. With decades of experience in counseling couples and guiding individuals on how to navigate the complexities of relationships, John returns to the podcast to share invaluable insights on creating lasting love and deeper connections. John takes us through the essential stages of a relationship, from the excitement of attraction to the challenges of commitment, revealing how our emotional and hormonal responses shape our connections. He explains how attraction, uncertainty, and commitment each play vital roles in the evolution of a partnership and offers strategies for couples to avoid sabotaging behaviors, such as rushing into intimacy or seeking constant reassurance. He also dives into the science behind love, exploring how hormones like testosterone, estrogen, and prolactin impact emotional intimacy and sexual attraction. Along the way, John emphasizes the importance of polarity in maintaining desire and how men and women can better understand each other's needs to foster a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. Listen to this episode and learn how to navigate the stages of relationships, understand the science of love and attraction, avoid common relationship pitfalls, and cultivate a lasting connection built on mutual understanding, respect, and intimacy.   Timestamps: (00:01:59) - Differences between men and women in handling stress, emotions, and communication. (00:07:08) - Modern lifestyle changes that have impacted traditional relationship dynamics. (00:16:11) - Importance of small gestures, emotional safety, and balancing independence with interdependence. (00:23:39) - How unresolved childhood traumas affect relationships. (00:32:44) - The five stages of relationship. (00:45:28) - How men deal with uncertainties. (00:52:18) - Strategies for maintaining attraction.   Some Questions I Ask: What is the real secret to your success? How much did karma and grace play into your success? What was the moment that made you leave the monkhood? How did you stay positive in the face of uncertainty? Does everyone have a soulmate? Are there  certain phases or stages that you've seen in a relationship?   In This Episode You Will Learn: How to understand the five key stages of relationships to help build lasting love. How to manage stress in a relationship to avoid common relationship misunderstandings. The importance of maintaining masculine-feminine polarity as an essential tool for sustaining relationship passion. How the science of love and commitment influence attraction, bonding, and long-term relationship success. Discover why rushing commitment, seeking constant reassurance, and neglecting emotional safety can sabotage a relationship. How unresolved childhood wounds often shape emotional reactions, attachment styles, and relationship patterns.   LINKS JOHN GRAY'S URL:   https://www.marsvenus.com JOHN GRAY'S PREVIOUS SOULTALK EPISODES:  http://podcast.kuteblackson.com/272-dr-john-gray-on-the-secrets-to-having-a-great-relationship-and-sex-life http://podcast.kuteblackson.com/359-john-gray-on-beyond-mars-and-venus-never-before-shared-secrets-to-creating-success https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-john-gray-understanding-the-biochemistry-of/id1349934168?i=1000507578181 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/john-gray-recipe-for-an-amazing-sex-life/id1349934168?i=1000549784038   Get in Touch: Email me at kuteblackson@kuteblackson.com Visit my website: www.kuteblackson.com Events with Kute Blackson: Join me on a life-changing journey in Bali this December. Apply here: www.boundlessblissbali.com      

After 50, love relationships take a turn. For women who become more educated and mature their relationship may no longer solve a problem they can't solve on their own. My respected guest and Flipping 50 returning favorite on love relationships, Dr. John Gray. My Guest: John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, wrote the iconic relationship book, a global bestseller translated into 45 languages. With 20+ books, including Beyond Mars and Venus, he transforms how men and women view relationships, blending communication skills and nutrition for lasting health and romance. Featured on Oprah and other major media, he shares insights through books, blogs, and workshops. More about John here. Questions We Answer in This Episode: Can you address how relationships impact anti-aging? [00:10:20] Does a relationship need to follow a traditional model (same household, romantic), or can male friendships also provide value? [00:10:45] You mention romance for hormone stimulation—would “hormone optimization” be a better term?[00:40:37] Are romance and love relationships the ultimate biohack?[00:25:05] How does romance or relationships optimize hormones? [00:41:15} How is the stress response related to a woman's relationships? [00:13:51] Why is this more significant for women than men as they age? [0013:35] A recent Joe Dispenza video discussed single women who don't rely on dopamine or oxytocin from relationships may experience fewer emotional highs and lows and find other ways to create stability. How does this perspective align with your views? [00:36:48] Connect with John:https://www.marsvenus.com/ On Social: Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Mars.Venus.John.Gray Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/johngraymarsvenus_official/ Twitter:https://x.com/marsvenus Other Episodes You Might Like: You Ask Libido and Hormone Balance Qs: Dr John Gray Answers:https://www.flippingfifty.com/libido-and-hormone-balance/ Create Natural Hormone Boosts with Dr. John Gray | MarsVenus:https://www.flippingfifty.com/natural-hormone-boosts/ Resources: 5 Day Flip:https://www.flippingfifty.com/5-day-challenge-new/ Protein Products:https://www.flippingfifty.com/protein

This breather show is about the epidemic and steady decline in the average level of testosterone in today's male compared to years and decades past, and what you can do if you want to avoid tanking your testosterone levels. You will learn about a variety of factors that influence testosterone, like the health of your relationship, certain kinds of exercise, and even engaging in anger, resentment, arguing, and nitpicking. You’ll also hear some truly brilliant, life-changing advice from John Gray and learn about the importance of doing certain testosterone boosting activities. LINKS: Brad Kearns.com Brad’s Shopping page B.rad Whey Protein Isolate Superfuel - The Best Protein on The Planet! Available in Three Delicious Flavors: Vanilla Bean and Cocoa Bean and our Newest Flavor, Peanut Butter! B.rad Superfruits - Organic Freeze-Dried Exotic Fruit Powder! Natural Electrolyte Hydration & Energy Powder Join Brad for more fun on: Instagram: @bradkearns1 Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh Twitter: @bradleykearns YouTube: @brad.kearns TikTok: @bradkearns We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&A shows, emailed to podcast@bradventures.com. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you! Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, I won’t promote anything that I don't absolutely love and use in daily life: Peluva: Comfortable, functional, stylish five-toe minimalist shoe to reawaken optimal foot function. Use code BRADPODCAST for 15% off! Mito Red Light: Photobiomodulation light panels to enhance cellular energy production, improve recovery, and optimize circadian rhythm. Use code BRAD for 5% discount! GAINSWave: Enhance sexual function with high frequency shockwave therapy. Buy 6 and get one treatment free with code: BRAD Wild Health: Comprehensive online health consultation with blood and DNA testing, personal coaching and precision medicine. Get things dialed in! Use discount code BRAD20 for 20% off! Take The Cold Plunge online course! B.rad Whey + Creatine Superfuel: Premium quality, all-natural supplement for peak performance, recovery, and longevity. New Cocoa Bean flavor! Online educational courses: Numerous great offerings for an immersive home-study educational experience Primal Fitness Expert Certification: The most comprehensive online course on all aspects of traditional fitness programming and a total immersion fitness lifestyle. Save 25% on tuition with code BRAD! Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement Brad's Favorites on Amazon I have a newly organized shopping experience at BradKearns.com/Shop. Visit here and you can navigate to my B.rad Nutrition products (for direct order or Amazon order), my library of online multimedia educational courses, great discounts from my affiliate favorites, and my recommended health&fitness products on Amazon.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I am excited to welcome back on the show one of the leading relationship experts of all time on dating, relationships and love. I remember reading his best selling book in my 20's and it helped me in understanding the differences between men and women in relationships. Consider today's episode a masterclass on the art of lasting intimacy, passion and love in modern day relationships. You will leave this episode equip with the tools, wisdom and awareness of what truly causes breakdowns in relationships and also what will build them up.  Welcome my guest, John Gray. He is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter-century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s.  Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love.  In todays episode we talk about: The problems in modern dating and relationships How the lack of polarity destroys a relationship Reigniting Passion and Intimacy Understanding how to effectively communicate to your partner How men and women can support one another Biohacks for Hormonal Balance Navigating Modern Relationship Challenges For full show notes and episode resources head to: https://ericalippy.com/john-gray2/ Listen to previous episode here Find our guest at: John Gray | Website , Facebook , Instagram  Free Gift: https://www.marsvenus.com/gift His books: John Gray books Follow me on Social Media: Your Host: @ericalippy Podcast: @passionlovepursuit Facebook YouTube PASSION LOVE PURSUIT PODCASTS: https://ericalippy.com/the-podcast/

Hey, Sister-friend

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comJohn Gray is a political philosopher. He retired from academia in 2007 as Professor of European Thought at the London School of Economics, and is now a regular contributor and lead reviewer at the New Statesman. He's the author of two dozen books, and his latest is The New Leviathans: Thoughts After Liberalism. I'd say he's one of the most brilliant minds of our time — and my first podcast with him was a huge hit. I asked him to come on this week to get a broader and deeper perspective on where we are now in the world. He didn't disappoint.For two clips of our convo — on the ways Trump represents peace, and how heterosexuals have become more like gays — pop over to our YouTube page.Other topics: this week's inauguration; the peaceful transfer of power; the panic of the left intelligentsia; the contradictions in the new Trump administration; Bannon vs Musk; Vivek's quick exit; the techno-futurist oligarchs; Vance as the GOP's future; tariffs and inflation; the federal debt; McKinley and the Gilded Age; Manifest Destiny; Greenland; isolationism; the neocon project to convert the world; Hobbes and “commodious living”; Malthus and today's declining birthrates; post-industrial alienation; deaths of despair; Fukuyama's “End of History”; Latinx; AI and knowledge workers; Plato; Pascal; Dante; CS Lewis' Abolition of Man; pre-Christian paganism; Puritans and the woke; Žižek; Rod Dreher; Houellebecq; how submission can be liberating; Graham Greene; religion as an anchor; why converts are often so dangerous; Freudian repression; Orwell and goose-stepping; the revolution of consciousness after Christ; Star Wars as neo-Christian; Dune as neo-pagan; Foucault; Oakeshott's lovers; Montaigne; Judith Shklar; Ross Douthat; the UK's rape-gangs; Starmer and liberal legalism; the Thomist view of nature; the medieval view of abortion; late-term abortions; and assisted dying.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Sebastian Junger on near-death experiences, Jon Rauch on “Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy,” Evan Wolfson on the history of marriage equality, Yoni Appelbaum on how America stopped building things, Nick Denton on the evolution of new media, and Ross Douthat on how everyone should be religious. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

Once again, it is time for a refresher course inspired by the teaching of four-time podcast guest John Gray, the #1 bestselling relationship author of all-time with his Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus franchise. In this highlight episode, you will hear life-changing advice and insights into relationship health, including the specific “assignments” John Gray has designated for men and women and why. You will learn about the importance of being a “Kung Fu Master”, why men should never speak when they have a negative emotional charge, and the #1 danger women face today. I also include tips from author David Deida, talk about the effects of complaining or nitpicking and what happens when you instead express everything as a preference, and how to overcome emotionally fragile reactions. You will also learn what causes arguments to escalate, why women just need to vent, what kills the passion in a relationship, what causes women to end up anxious and depressed, and more details about the different fundamental biological drives and hormonal underpinnings that influence our behavior and wants and needs. TIMESTAMPS: After the first two highlight podcasts, Brad looks at relationship insights. [01:04] The male’s relationship assignment is to be a kung fu master by remaining calm, cool and collected. [02:43] The female needs to vent, to talk out her problems, concerns, challenges, and complaints. [09:55] Leave the petty grievances alone. Decide what is really important. [14:59] The female should never complain and nitpick your male partner. [18:11] You are responsible for your own happiness. You cannot depend on another person to make you happy. [20:10] The evolving culture and evolving relationship roles lead to challenges, mainly with the female. [23:23] Another dynamic is the increased isolation of society. [26:16] John Gray’s anatomy of an argument: Female feels unhappy and starts to feel disconnected. The males responds by telling her why she shouldn’t feel that way. [30:27] LINKS: Brad Kearns.com Brad’s Shopping page B.rad Whey Protein Isolate Superfuel - The Best Protein on The Planet! Available in Three Delicious Flavors: Vanilla Bean and Cocoa Bean and our Newest Flavor, Peanut Butter! B.rad Superfruits - Organic Freeze-Dried Exotic Fruit Powder! Natural Electrolyte Hydration & Energy Powder MarsVenus.com Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Beyond Mars and Venus Way of the Superior Man Life changing episode - John Gray Join Brad for more fun on: Instagram: @bradkearns1 Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh Twitter: @bradleykearns YouTube: @brad.kearns TikTok: @bradkearns We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&A shows, emailed to podcast@bradventures.com. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you! Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, I won’t promote anything that I don't absolutely love and use in daily life: Peluva: Comfortable, functional, stylish five-toe minimalist shoe to reawaken optimal foot function. Use code BRADPODCAST for 15% off! Mito Red Light: Photobiomodulation light panels to enhance cellular energy production, improve recovery, and optimize circadian rhythm. Use code BRAD for 5% discount! GAINSWave: Enhance sexual function with high frequency shockwave therapy. Buy 6 and get one treatment free with code: BRAD Wild Health: Comprehensive online health consultation with blood and DNA testing, personal coaching and precision medicine. Get things dialed in! Use discount code BRAD20 for 20% off! Take The Cold Plunge online course! B.rad Whey + Creatine Superfuel: Premium quality, all-natural supplement for peak performance, recovery, and longevity. New Cocoa Bean flavor! Online educational courses: Numerous great offerings for an immersive home-study educational experience Primal Fitness Expert Certification: The most comprehensive online course on all aspects of traditional fitness programming and a total immersion fitness lifestyle. Save 25% on tuition with code BRAD! Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement Brad's Favorites on Amazon I have a newly organized shopping experience at BradKearns.com/Shop. Visit here and you can navigate to my B.rad Nutrition products (for direct order or Amazon order), my library of online multimedia educational courses, great discounts from my affiliate favorites, and my recommended health&fitness products on Amazon.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comAndrew Neil has long been one of the finest journalists in the UK. He has been chairman of The Spectator, chairman of Sky TV, editor of The Sunday Times, and a BBC anchor, where his grueling interviews of politicians became legendary. He's currently a columnist for both the UK and US versions of The Daily Mail and an anchor for Times Radio. In the US he went viral after a car-crash interview with Ben Shapiro.For two clips of our convo — on Europe's steady decline, and Trump's cluelessness on tariffs — pop over to our YouTube page.Other topics: growing up near Glasgow as a working-class Tory; his mother working in the mills; his father fighting the Nazis; his merit-based grammar school (before Labour dissolved them); thriving on the debate team; studying US history at university; Adam Smith; reporting on The Troubles; covering the White House at The Economist in the early '80s; Reagan Dems and Trump Hispanics; covering labor and industry in the Thatcher era; her crackdown on unions; the print unions that spurred violence; Alastair Stewart; tough interviewing and how the US media falls short; Tim Russert; audio of Neil grilling Shapiro and Boris; the policy-lite race between Trump and Harris; populism in the US and UK; Greenland and the Panama Canal; the rise of autocracy in the 21st Century; recent elections in Europe; Starmer; US isolationism past and present; the Iraq War; the 2008 crash; Taiwan and semiconductors; China's weakening economy; the overconfidence of the US after the Cold War; Brexit; Covid; mass migration; AI; and the challenge of Muslim assimilation in Europe.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: John Gray on the state of liberal democracy, Jon Rauch on “Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy,” Sebastian Junger on near-death experiences, Evan Wolfson on the history of marriage equality, Yoni Appelbaum on how America stopped building things, Nick Denton on the evolution of new media, and Ross Douthat on how everyone should be religious. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comAdam is a literary critic and poet. He's been a senior editor at The New Republic and a contributing editor for Tablet and Harvard Magazine, and he's currently an editor in the Wall Street Journal's Review section. The author of many books, his latest is On Settler Colonialism: Violence, Ideology and Justice. I've been fascinated by the concept — another product of critical theory, as it is now routinely applied to Israel. We hash it all out.For two clips of our convo — on the reasons why Europe explored the world, and the bastardization of “genocide” — pop over to our YouTube page.Other topics: Adam's roots in LA; coming from a long line of writers; the power of poetry; its current boom with Instagram and hip-hop; Larkin; the omnipresence of settler colonialism in human history; the Neanderthals; the Ulster colonists; the French in Algeria; replacement colonialism in Australia and North America; the viral catastrophe there; the 1619 Project; “decolonizing” a bookshelf; Marxism; Coates and fatalism toward the US; MLK's “promissory note”; Obama's “more perfect union”; migration under climate change; China the biggest polluter; More's Utopia; the Holocaust; the Killing Fields; Rwanda; mass migration of Muslims to Europe; “white genocide”; Pat Buchanan; the settler colonialism in Israel; ancient claims to Palestine; the Balfour Declaration; British limits on migrant Jews in WWII; the US turning away Holocaust refugees; the UN partition plan; the 1948 war; the Nakba; Ben-Gurion; Jabotinsky's “Iron Wall”; Clinton's despair after 2000; ethnic cleansing in the West Bank; the nihilism of October 7; civilian carnage and human shields in Gaza; Arab countries denying Palestinians; a two-state solution; the moral preening of Coates; and the economic and liberal triumphs of Israel.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Andrew Neil on UK and US politics, John Gray on the state of liberal democracy, Jon Rauch on his new book on “Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy,” Sebastian Junger on near-death experiences, Evan Wolfson on the history of marriage equality, Yoni Appelbaum on the American Dream, Nick Denton on the evolution of new media, and Ross Douthat on how everyone should be religious. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

Rebroadcast: Did you know that the #1 longevity factor is not your diet or the quality of your sleep, but the health (or dysfunction) of your long-term romantic relationship? Yes, according to Dr. John Gray, it doesn’t matter how much you’re exercising or how healthy your lifestyle is—if your romantic relationship is a source of stress or unhappiness in your life, then that will inevitably take a toll on your health and affect your longevity. In this rebroadcast of one of my favorite shows ever with Dr. John Gray, you will learn why most women lose their attraction to men after they open up about their feelings (and how to achieve intimacy while keeping a healthy emotional balance in your relationship), the actions you can avoid that tank your partner’s testosterone, what happens when a woman slides into the masculine role in a relationship, why Dr. John says: “Anytime you’re arguing with a woman, you’re afraid,” what causes men’s estrogen levels to rise, why men need to watch the way they exit to their “cave,” and why women have to watch out for how they pursue their man into his cave, and so many more helpful insights that you can apply to your relationships. Enjoy this informative and helpful show with Dr. John Gray, who offers this sage advice: “Don’t let your fears control your behavior. Look at them, listen to them. Try to understand them…then take action, without letting your fears control you.” LINKS: Brad Kearns.com Brad’s Shopping page B.rad Whey Protein Isolate Superfuel - The Best Protein on The Planet! Available in Three Delicious Flavors: Vanilla Bean and Cocoa Bean and our Newest Flavor, Peanut Butter! B.rad Superfruits - Organic Freeze-Dried Exotic Fruit Powder! Natural Electrolyte Hydration & Energy Powder MarsVenus.com Join Brad for more fun on: Instagram: @bradkearns1 Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh Twitter: @bradleykearns YouTube: @brad.kearns TikTok: @bradkearns We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&A shows, emailed to podcast@bradventures.com. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you! Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, I won’t promote anything that I don't absolutely love and use in daily life: Peluva: Comfortable, functional, stylish five-toe minimalist shoe to reawaken optimal foot function. Use code BRADPODCAST for 15% off! Mito Red Light: Photobiomodulation light panels to enhance cellular energy production, improve recovery, and optimize circadian rhythm. Use code BRAD for 5% discount! GAINSWave: Enhance sexual function with high frequency shockwave therapy. Buy 6 and get one treatment free with code: BRAD Wild Health: Comprehensive online health consultation with blood and DNA testing, personal coaching and precision medicine. Get things dialed in! Use discount code BRAD20 for 20% off! Take The Cold Plunge online course! B.rad Whey + Creatine Superfuel: Premium quality, all-natural supplement for peak performance, recovery, and longevity. New Cocoa Bean flavor! Online educational courses: Numerous great offerings for an immersive home-study educational experience Primal Fitness Expert Certification: The most comprehensive online course on all aspects of traditional fitness programming and a total immersion fitness lifestyle. Save 25% on tuition with code BRAD! Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement Brad's Favorites on Amazon I have a newly organized shopping experience at BradKearns.com/Shop. Visit here and you can navigate to my B.rad Nutrition products (for direct order or Amazon order), my library of online multimedia educational courses, great discounts from my affiliate favorites, and my recommended health&fitness products on Amazon.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comMary is a political consultant and former TV and radio host. She served under Presidents Reagan, HW Bush, and W Bush. She also co-founded Threshold Editions, a conservative publishing imprint at Simon & Schuster. She's married to Democratic consultant and Dishcast guest, James Carville, whom she wrote two books with: All's Fair and Love & War. She also wrote Letters to My Daughters. We got to know each other decades ago, but lost touch. After her husband Carville's pod, I asked her. She lives on a farm now — and is as fun and sharp as ever.We had no specific topic at hand so the convo is a bit sprawling, like two old friends reconnecting in the Christmas break. Or something like that. For two clips of our convo — on finding yourself through suffering, and the last days of Lee Atwater — pop over to our YouTube page.Other topics: growing up in south Chicago around steel mills; being the only white woman at beauty school; dropping out of college many times; worked her way through law school; the “explosion of ideas” under Reagan; converting to Catholicism; Vatican II undermining the liturgy; leaving the Dem Party over identity politics; black people against “Defund”; the Catholic view of the individual; why flaws are the most interesting parts of people; Mary's close friendship with Donna Brazile; hairdressers as priests; Augustine; Pascal; the epistemological humility of Socrates; Stoicism; my mother's mental illness; the crucifixion of Jesus; Mel Gibson's version of the Passion; Willie Horton; Bernie one of the few pols championing class; the redistribution of wealth during Covid; the lockdowns; Boris and Partygate; George Floyd and BLM groupthink; Kyle Rittenhouse; Jussie Smollett; the narrative of structural racism; MLK envy and “the right side of history”; the Ferguson effect; innovative police work in NOLA; Mary fighting sex trafficking in NOLA; Tony Blair cementing the legacy of Margaret Thatcher; the lack of accountability from political consultants; the profundity of Winnie the Pooh; and which great Americans we should emulate today.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Adam Kirsch on his book On Settler Colonialism, John Gray on the state of liberal democracy, Jon Rauch on his new book on “Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy,” Nick Denton on the evolution of new media, and Ross Douthat on how everyone should be religious. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

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This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comWe've been trying to cover the trans debate from as many sides as possible. So Brianna Wu was an obvious invite to the Dishcast. She is a video game developer and political activist who has run for Congress twice in Massachusetts. She is also a public speaker on issues affecting women in tech and became a central figure in Gamergate. She co-hosts with three other trans women — Kelly Cadigan, TafTaj, and Schyler Bogert — a podcast called Dollcast. She occupies a precarious center: defender of trans rights but opponent of critical gender and queer theory; a trans woman who fully acknowledges she isn't the same in every respect as women; and a fellow spirit trying to seek a middle ground so we can all just get on with our lives. We had a lively “ask a tranny anything” chat. For two clips — on the indoctrination of kids in schools, and the ordeal of medical transition for adults — pop over to our YouTube page. Other topics: Brianna wanting to be a woman from a very early age; her Christian upbringing in Mississippi; her mother scolding her effeminate hand gestures; dysmorphia; how she prayed to Jesus to be gay; her drug addiction and suicide attempts; postmodernists like Judith Butler; how queer ideology is inherently unstable; the “nonbinary” fad; the need for trans activism to return to liberalism; Virtually Normal and the marriage movement; Brianna “having no illusions” that she's a natal male; how the definition of trans has broadened to a “ludicrous” degree; JK Rowling; trans athletes; the huge spike in girls seeking trans compared to boys; Wu opposing transition for girls until 18; comorbidities like autism and sexual abuse; the swiftness of hormones via Planned Parenthood; the black market for HRT; transing gay kids; Marci Bowers performing Wu's vaginoplasty; Wu opposing Bowers at WPATH; Pope Francis; autogynephilia; right-wing backlash against trans adults; Nancy Mace; the blood libel of “groomer”; the Cass Review; Rachel Levine; death threats against Jesse Singal; the defenestration of Mara Keisling; the cowardice of gay donors; Wu losing friends over her moderate views; and her long marriage to a cis guy.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Mary Matalin on our sick culture, Adam Kirsch on his book On Settler Colonialism, John Gray on the state of liberal democracy, Jon Rauch on his new book on “Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy,” Nick Denton on the evolution of new media, and Ross Douthat on how everyone should be religious. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comWhat the hell just happened in Syria? We asked one of the sharpest scholars on the subject to give us a primer. Aaron Zelin is a fellow at the Washington Institute for Near East Policy, where he also directs the “Islamic State Worldwide Activity Map” project. He's also a visiting research scholar in the politics department at Brandeis and the founder of the website Jihadology. His first book is titled Your Sons Are At Your Service: Tunisia's Missionaries of Jihad, and his forthcoming book covers the history of Syrian jihadism. We talk about the entire history of Syria, as it faces what could be a turning point. For two clips of our convo — on the evil of the Assad dynasty, and the sudden fall of Bashar al-Assad — pop over to our YouTube page.Other topics: how Aaron's career was influenced by 9/11 at age 15; becoming an expert on jihadism; St. Paul at Damascus; the Ottoman Empire; the Arab Congress; Syria's independence from France after WWII; the subsequent coups; the Sunni majority in Syria; the rise of the Alawites; the Druze and Christians; the Kurds; the optimism in the ‘60s/‘70s for Arab liberalization; pan Arabism and Nasser; the Muslim Brotherhood; Hafez al-Assad coming to power in 1971; his son Bashar educated in the UK; how a former Nazi for real helped shape the regime; al-Qaeda and bin Laden; the Islamic State; “Baby It's Cold Outside”; the secret police of Syria; the 1982 massacre in Hama; Bashar coming to power in 2000 because of his older brother's early death; Bashar seen as nerdy and uncharismatic; the Damascus Spring; the Iraq War; the rebel leader Abu Mohammed al-Golani; his imprisonment in Abu Ghraib; Zarqawi; the Arab Spring; civil war erupting in Syria in 2011; the Free Syrian Army; the Assad regime torturing kids; the refugee crisis; Russia getting bogged down in Ukraine; Hezbollah and Hamas decimated; Iran on the defense; how the Assad regime collapsed in ten days; and Golani's potential as a reformer.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Brianna Wu on trans lives, Mary Matalin on our sick culture, Adam Kirsch on his book On Settler Colonialism, John Gray on the state of liberal democracy, Jon Rauch on his new book on “Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy,” Nick Denton on the evolution of new media, and Ross Douthat on how everyone should be religious. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.