Pairadocs

So, are you ready to meet the 3rd Horseman of the Marriage Apocalypse?  Couple's fight about this one all the time!  This topic reeks of power and security, therefore, it's a source for, all but constant, conflict.  The topic?  MONEY!  "Sooooo, let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Last week, the guys kicked off a discussion of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.  The first was sex, and this week they will examine the all too hot topic of THE KIDS.  Most couples tend not to be on the exact same page when it comes to discipline, expectations, and priorities when it comes to their kids, so...arguments tend to ensue.  If this sounds like you, don't miss this week's episode!   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast  How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

You know it coming and you dread it like the plague, but at some point, in every family there comes the need to have “The Sex Talk.”  In this case, however, we’re not talking about the sex discussion with you kids.  This week, the guys delve into the sex talk that every couple needs to have and keep having to address one of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.    ----- PROBLEM: Carries more baggage than a 747.  Mention any possible negative and it can be interpreted as a very intimate, personal criticism We don’t talk about our sexual relationship.  Only might be mentioned when something is wrong.   As a rule, sex is the “unmentionable” in 99% of Christian homes Take any other “mutual” activity that a couple engages in, there is discussion about it.  Cooking, exercise, entertainment…  The assumption is that if we’re married, we should simply know what to do and how to do it.  And if things aren’t great, then we suffer in silence, because, “We shouldn’t have to say anything.” SOLUTION: The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor. 7:3–5) Each spouse’s body belongs to the other, and a primary function of sex is to serve and bless each other. The ethic that runs throughout the New Testament applies to sex in marriage: we are to selflessly serve, thinking of the other first. Love is putting someone else’s needs above your own.  Sex is a physical manifestation of spiritual and emotional love between a husband and wife. TALK: If we don’t tell our spouse, they won’t know.  Any time we don’t talk it is out of fear or frustration.  Spouse’s shouldn’t fear their partner’s response. Past sexual history and sin, needs to be discussed, learned from, and not avoided Frequency, duration, & arousal all are impacted as you pass through life stages. Talk about having the talk.  Don’t surprise them with it. Make suggestions; not complaints   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast  The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Have you or your spouse ever said something along the lines of, “We argue over little things.”, or “None of our arguments ever get resolved.”  If you have, then you have fallen headfirst into the Argument Black Hole.  Join them this week, as the guys talk about the biggest mistake couples make when they have a disagreement. -----  PROBLEM: Arguing over facts Arguing over who’s reality is correct Winning is more important than solving the problem My Side Bias skews facts Memories are NOT accurate recordings of events.  Research suggests that that we remember what we WANT to believe happened SOLUTION: Realize that the argument is not about the facts The event is the surface problem to a root cause Chose the hill you will die on Must be able to agree to disagree ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast  How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Perfectionism.  Most would agree that this personality trait is not great.  BUT, if you are a perfectionist, you secretly, sort of, like being this way.  It’s kind of like being a “workaholic.”  We say we don’t like that aspect of our lives yet are inwardly proud of how much we can accomplish.  Perfectionism is, not only, bad for us as an individual, but can be devastating in our home.   ----- PROBLEM: See it in: Kids- upset if not perfect, performance anxiety Mom/Wives- Clean house, fixation on kid’s performance, behavior, and dress, can’t leave work at work Dad/Husbands- How things look, Sports, irritation as substandard behavior/dress… Hold double standard You're constantly evaluating yourself, and not living up to who you believe you could be. This induces shame.  Procrastination can simply be thought of as insecure perfectionism on steroids.  SOLUTION: To want something is good.  To NEED it is not good. Embrace and sit in uncomfortable, unpleasant emotions By grace saved, not of good works Acknowledge it. What is driving this?  What core belief? Anti-anxiety tool is “Worst case” scenario  Adjust your standards to just be “good enough.” ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast  How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

We’ve all seen them, haven’t we?  Those parents who care WAY too much about how their child is doing in sports.  They take out a second mortgage and blow through their family’s savings just to keep their kid on select/travel teams.  They yell at the refs, the coach, and their kid.  You would think their entire self-worth hinged on whether their child plays well and wins the game…hmmm.  I wonder… Listen in this week as Josh and Jimmy get the signal, step up to the plate, and discuss The Push.  Parents and sports.  Play ball!! ----- Warning Signs of The Push Parent getting their own need for self-worth through their child’s sport performance.   Year-round, non-stop sports.  One long, never ending season Year-round specialization.  Tommy John surgery for high schoolers.  All other aspect of family life takes a back seat  Do you care more than your child who is actually playing the sport? ****Anger at child’s performance**** Solution for the Push: Define Success Let the child lead. Brad McCoy Teach your child to try hard, work hard, practice hard, and play hard.  Col. 3:23, “All like doing it for Christ.”  ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

We hear a lot of talk about dysfunctional families these days.  Apparently, they are bad, and can cause some real damage to those who find themselves in one.  But is my family dysfunctional? Did I come from one?  How do I make sure my family doesn’t become one?  I’m glad you asked!!  Join the fellas this week and they discussion what dysfunctional families are, how to prevent them, and what to do if you fear you’re in one. -----  Problem with dysfunction: Long lasting impact.  Consistent, Frequent, Duration, changes the brain Dysfunctional families rack up tons of little “t” traumas. We tend to absorb both healthy and unhealthy behavioral/relationship patterns from our FOO Solution: (Psychology Today; Julie Hall) Here’s several “Signs” of dysfunction…make sure you do the opposite! Acceptance/Love is conditional Someone must always be blamed/scapegoat Vulnerability is dangerous, therefore, no intimacy The family has “Teams” Appearance not authenticity is ALL IMPORTANT Rage is normalized Denial & Defensiveness are the norm ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast  The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Ever feel like a spiritual taxi driver? Is your goal as a parent to make sure your child is at every church event? Do you get nervous when asked to spiritual lead / guide your child? When your child has a spiritual question, is this intimidating? This week Jimmy and Josh discuss your one job as a parent, spiritually leading your child. -----   Harelips the Governor    Pagan Christianity by Barna   Other than praying over dinner or before bed, is God present in your life / your family’s life?    Biggest takeaway, you need to be more spiritually connected in your own life, to be able to guide your own child.    God doesn’t call you to raise faithful kids, he’s calling you to be faithful.   -----   Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers    Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast    The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com  

As the late great country music artist, Mac Davis, once sang, “Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble!”  And in our current culture and the competitive, “me-obsessed” environment that our kids are growing up in, these words have never been more spot on.  Join the fellas this week, as they kick around the topic of raising humble kids. -----  We live in a culture that is for the glorification of self. Our culture and a lot of our homes struggle to produce humble kids. “If you have to toot your own horn, your horn ain’t worth tootin’” – Bill Myers Sr We need to teach them how to express their views modestly. How to share praise and blame.  Learning to accept failure is key. It’s important to model a lack of defensiveness. ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast  How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Many of you have read her books to your kids and found them to be an invaluable resource during this unprecedented electronically connected time. And if you haven’t read these books to your kids, after listening to this show, you definitely will. This week Jimmy and Josh sit down with Kristen Jenson, from Protect Young Minds, about her best-selling books, Good Pictures Bad Pictures and her newest, Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.When should we talk to our children about pornography? To quote Kristen, “As soon as they have internet access.” Think about that... ----- https://www.protectyoungminds.org/ https://www.protectyoungminds.org/about/ https://braindefense.protectyoungminds.org/ https://www.protectyoungminds.org/books/ ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com     

You know ‘em! You love ‘em! And you can’t live without ‘em! I don’t know the numbers on their jerseys, but I do know they’re number 1 in your heart...drum roll, please...This week, the boys sit down with Melanie Shankle and Sophie Hudson, the co-hosts of the Big Boo Cast! They talk about the ladies’ new books, life, love, and not to give too much away...pheasant hunting fashion tips. The Big Boo Cast Melanie Shankle Sophie Hudson Opal Nugget Ice Maker Stand All the Way Up by Sophie Hudson On the Bright Side by Melanie Shankle Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com 

I know you’ve never said this before, but I’m sure you’ve known someone who has exclaimed, “That kid makes me so mad!!”  Anger is an emotion that all parents have experienced, yet parental anger that is expressed in the wrong way can be the most destructive emotional element in any home.  Ouch.  This week, the guys chat about putting a lid on parental anger.   ----- Series 33 – Lifeway Problem with parental anger: Things that we say and do that we regret are mostly done in anger Parental anger is the most destructive emotional element in the home Most anger is brought about by faulty thinking that is adrenaline induced. Albert Ellis ABC Model This is now we KNOW that nothing MAKES you mad. 90% of parental anger is sin. We sin, but don’t see God’s wrath We believe it’s justified. But it is never justified. Solution to parental anger: Realize first response is your worst response STOP Stop and separate Tone down tension Open YOUR heart to God Present Christ to your child Excerpt from Toe to Toe with Your Teen (2nd Edition) ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

What do apparently all of us want, but seemingly not many of us actually have? You may answer, million dollars! And you would be right!!...However, I was being less crass and materialistic and was referencing the often sought-after quality known as Intimacy.We want it in our friendships, our marriages, our families, and our walk with God, but for something that seems to be so crucial, most of us don’t even know what Intimacyactually is, and why, in reality, it is extraordinarily important. Check out the boys this week as they take an intimate look at Intimacy. -----Intimacy: What Is It and Why Is It Important?PROBLEM:1.Intimacy is a vital, yet very few can tell you exactly what it is. 2.Definition: Close familiarity. Jimmywould say that Intimacy is the absence of fear in relationships. Where there is fear; a lack of trust, there can be no intimacy.Josh would say intimacy is connection. 3.Intimacy is more than sexual:a.Physical: non-sexualb.Emotional: Attempts at emotional connection; healthy over 80% c.Intellectual: Can speak thoughts and idea and not fear rejectiond.Spiritual: Share a common coreSOLUTION: 1.Make it a point to show your appreciation. ...2.Make an effort to learn about each otherand learn fromeach other. ...3.Set aside time for each other. ...4.Unplug and focus on each other. ...5.Show physical affection (even without sex) ...6.Tackle a project together. ...7.Initiate spiritual intimacy.-----             Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter:@docjimmymyers,Instagram:@jmyersfam, andFacebook:@docjimmymyersDr. Josh Myers on Twitter:@docjoshmyers,Instagram:@docjoshmyers, andFacebook:@docjoshmyersPairadocs Podcast on Twitter:@docspodcast, Instagram:@docspodcast, and Facebook:@docspodcastHow do give to the show:www.patreon.com/docspodcastThe Timothy Center:www.timothycenter.com    

Has you child ever come home, upset because the kids at school were being mean to them? Don’t you hate that?! Not only does it break your heart, but peer rejection could also actually have a long-term negative impact on their lives. Join in this week as the guys discuss how to respond when your child is rejected by their peers. And it does not include sobbing uncontrollably.

OMG! This pandemic has done more than just socially segregated us. It has psychologically, emotionally, relationally, and intellectually segregated us. Many of us are trapped in echo chambers that only reinforce what we believe about politics, race, COVID, and a host of other societal issues. Confirmation bias is when we only hear what we want to hear, or expect to hear, without any inclination to consider another point of view. This is toxic for an individual, a couple, or a family. This week the boys discuss a topic that has certainly been around for a while, but has exploded during this unprecedented time in our culture. -----Confirmation BiasPsychological phenomenon that filters out evidence that doesn’t support our preconceived ideas and only allows evidence in that supports our already agreed upon ideas. We set up a “filter bubble”We have mental “schemas” records or tapes in our brain that play on loop. Schemas help us make quick decisions and do things on autopilot. And we begin tosegregate ourselves into tribes that think and feel the same way as we do, which creates more “group think” and confirmation bias. When we have strong opinions and don’t allow for other views, we lose our audience.What do we do?1)Hold our opinions loosely2)Focus on things we have control over3)Get out of our filter bubbles, and talk to people that don’t think like us4)Talk less, listen more-----Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter:@docjimmymyers,Instagram:@jmyersfam, andFacebook:@docjimmymyersDr. Josh Myers on Twitter:@docjoshmyers,Instagram:@docjoshmyers, andFacebook:@docjoshmyers             Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter:@docspodcast, Instagram:@docspodcast, and Facebook:@docspodcastHow do give to the show:www.patreon.com/docspodcastThe Timothy Center:www.timothycenter.com    

Is unconditionally loving your child and unconditionally praising your child the same thing?  Maybe not.  In fact, numerous studies indicate that lavishing praise on a child with little or no merit, actually can have a negative impact on the child’s emotional development.  But then again, no praise could indicate emotion emotional neglect.  What’s a parent to do?!  It’s like we’re danged if we do, or danged if we don’t. Listen in this week as Josh and Jimmy delve into the sticky, and somewhat controversial, topic of undeserved praise.  ----- If this is your first episode, here are a few episodes to get you started: https://pairadocspodcast.libsyn.com/bob-goff https://pairadocspodcast.libsyn.com/empathy https://pairadocspodcast.libsyn.com/pornography

Pairadocs podcast has joined the Christian Parenting Podcast Network! If this is your first episode, here are a few episodes to get you started: https://pairadocspodcast.libsyn.com/bob-goff https://pairadocspodcast.libsyn.com/empathy https://pairadocspodcast.libsyn.com/pornography Follow Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Follow Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Follow Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Since we’re all doing school from home now, please answer the following questions:   Honey, do these new pants make my butt look big? No, I left your gift at the office.  Do you really think I’d forget our anniversary? Mommy, are some of the kids on my team better than me? Daddy, I’m so sad that Fluffy died.  Is he in heaven with Jesus? Hey, Babe, I can’t see the back of my head.  Am I balding at all?   So how did you do?  Answer honestly.  This week, the guys kick around the topic of how honest is too honest in the family.    -----   We can justify lying by trying to "not hurt our spouse". It's choosing the path of least resistance. "Why would I purposefully hurt my wife" is the thought.   However, lying can be a behavior that can form a habit - quickly.   If you can't tell your spouse the truth out of fear of their response, you're in trouble. Without truth there is no trust, without trust there is no love.   You earn the right to speak truth / be honest. Love people first, then provide your truth.   Our goal in word and deed is congruency. Be the same in front of your wife as you are away from her.   We struggle to be honest with others because we are not honest with ourselves.   Be sure that you yourself are cultivating a relationship where people can be honest with you.   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

We’ve all done it.  Looked at how our spouse is behaving and wondered, “Wow, if he really loved me, he wouldn’t be doing that.”  Some of us have felt that so strongly that we actually say those word to our spouse.  Making their momentary behavior a referendum on “if” they love us or not.  Full disclosure, I have done this myself.  Just the other night I told my wife, Beth, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t make me watch the Downtown Abby movie a second time.”  Wow, that felt good.  Freedom comes through honesty and confession.  Listen in this week as the guys expose this relationally destructive, yet common conflict mistake.    -----   Even if we don't say these exact words, it is common for us to think/feel that "If our spouse loved me, he/she would -- blank --".    Men ask the same question, "If you respected me, you would".   Don't assume your spouse doesn't love you. Unless your spouse has said "I don't love you" - assume he/she does.      ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

I’m so sorry its taken so long to get this episode out, BUT there were many reasons why it couldn’t get done sooner…Listen, I said I was sorry.  What do you want from me?  You feel hurt that we have kept this life-changing podcast from you for this long?  Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.  To hurt you was not our intent, so really, you have to own your own feelings.  Am I right?  Ok, fine, drop it.  This week the boys discuss how to make a real apology.    -----   Apologies are normal. If no one is apologizing, then there is a problem. Apologies are essential because sin exists.     Top 6 Dynamics of a True Apology   1. A true apology never says a "but" 2. A true apology keeps the focus on what you personally did wrong 3. A true apology doesn't try to find who started it 4. A true apology never apologizes to "shut up" the other person 5. A true apology makes apologizing "not enough" and makes an attempt to do more     ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Here’s a parent’s worst nightmare.  You look upstairs one day and your 27 year old son is still living in the same bedroom in your house that he occupied since the 8th grade!  Somewhere along the line, this young man…failed to launch.  Listen in this week as the guys discuss this growing phenomenon.    -----   Helicopter parenting - hovering over your child to rescue whenever bad happens Lawnmower parenting - clearing the path for your child so that nothing bad happens to them   Helicopter and lawnmower parenting cripples our children   Our kids an just "roll over" due to pressure/anxiety. Pressure from parents, school, friends, self, culture - can lead to kids that are anxious about adulthood and therefore just decide to give up.    Parenting is an 18 year process of deparenting.   When they are young we as parents are supervisors, when they're teenagers we are managers, and when they are adults we become consultants.   Grace ceases to be grace if it occurs too often, it then becomes an expectation   -----   If you have an adult child still in your home that is failing to launch:   1. Begin mourning the loss of your child and accept them as adults   2. Have a clear written agreement on A) responsibilities they have with them still being in your home, B) a defined date when they must leave, C) creating a list of skills they need prior to leaving and D) a list of ways you might assist them financially even after they are gone. NOTE: Any assistance once they're gone needs to have an end date as well.   3. Risk them failing once gone - failure is one of life's great teachers     ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

The boys follow up with their co dependency talk from last week by discussing boundaries today. What are boundaries? How do you institute them? Won't that make matters worse? Listen in.   -----   Boundariless families are dysfunctional. These families are tired.  Lack of boundaries finds its way into most, if not all, relational problems we have.   We mistakenly believe that if we set a boundary, it is unloving.   10 Laws of Boundaries   1. Law of sowing and reaping - needs to be consequences to behavior 2. Law of responsibility - be responsible for self 3. Law of power - make a choice and enact power within relationship 4. Law if respect - respect other people's boundaries 5. Law of motivation - risk disappointing people 6. Law of evaluation - hurt feelings aren't harmful 7. Law of proactivity - setting boundaries early 8. Law of envy - learn to be satisfied with your life 9. Law of activity - can't be passive and have boundaries 10. Law of exposure - choose to matter and exist in relationship   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

What is co-dependency?  We’ve all heard about, accused others of being it, but what exactly is it?  I mean, we should depend on each other…right?  “Lean on me, when you’re not strong…”  Hello?!  But what is it, really?  Listen in this week as the guys unpack the sometimes misunderstood topic of co-dependency, and see if you can recognize your relationship…uh, I mean recognized a “friend’s” relationship.    -----   Enchiladas Y Mas Closed   Co dependency = when one person needs another person, and the other person needs to be needed.   It's a relationship addiction. A toxic dance.   Submissive co dependents - desperately desire loves from dominant dependents Dominant co dependents - don't give love the other desires   We pass on co dependency to our children   Recognizing who you are in your marriage:   Submissives 1. Does your self worth hang on your partners approval? 2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes a demand? 3. Do you walk on egg shells around your partner?  4. Do you consistently worry about other's opinions of you? 5. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?   Dominants 1. Are you in a constant state of frustration with your partner? 2. Can you not let go of correcting your partner? 3. It is difficult for you to agree to disagree? 4. Do you have a strong need to be right? 5. When push comes to shove, you get your way.   SOLUTION   1. Boundaries (next week) 2. Don't avoid conflict; be a buffalo 3. Figure out wants vs needs. You want your spouse, you don't need him/her 4. It is not your place to correct your spouse   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

In our society today, we love us some tolerance! Vive la Difference! I always like to say, except when those differences we’re “Viveing” are behaviors in our spouse that are driving us up the wall during this sheltering in place experience.  How can we “let go and let God” sooth our relational differences while we’re all boarded up inside our houses 24/7?  Listen in this week as the guys discuss how to accept our spouse’s faults…That’s right.  I said it, FAULTS! They’re not differences, they are flaws in their character that if they loved me, they would change!! Or would they?   -----   Martial Wounds 1. Spouse Preferences - things that minimally impact your life 2. Infractions - things that moderately (and sometimes majorly) impact your life 3. Major Infractions - abuse, infidelity, etc   Scripturally, you only have justification for ending your marriage (or hardening your heart toward you spouse) for the MAJOR INFRACTIONS.    Marriage is about learning to get over things.   70% of all marital arguments are irreconcilable.    ----   So how do we learn to get over things? Decide that it is not your job to change your spouse! There is a Holy Spirit and it is not me. Get the log out of our own eye. Conflict is never about the content, the conflict touches a "raw spot" / insecurity - so your reaction has more to do with you.   Can you agree to disagree?    Be more grateful for your spouse's good, more than you're mad at the bad.   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

What happens when things don't go as expected? When God doesn't make sense? When our worst fears are realized? What then? How do we respond? What's more, how do we lead our family/kids during such a time? Listen in this week as the guys discuss how to handle the storm when it hits.   -----   As parents, we set the emotional tone within the home.    When something bad happens, it's not simply about you, surviving. But as a parent, it is about modeling to our children how to handle storms.   We don't want to model fear.   Faith isn't faith until it is all you have.    How should we has a family handle storms? (Proverbs 3:5-6)   1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. When storms happen, we must trust. Learning to trust God happens daily, before the storm happens.   2. Lean not on your own understandings. Life doesn't have to make sense. In fact, most often, life doesn't make sense. And just because we don't understand what God is doing, doesn't mean life is ending and the sky is falling. We shouldn't learn on our own understanding.   3. In all your ways, acknowledge God. Seek God and his kingdom first, and all things will be taken care of.     4. The payoff, if you do the first three things, God will direct your path. Then, no matter what happens, it is a no lose in that it will be ok.    ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

I know we discussed last week some ideas on how to cope with the entire family being at home due to the COVID, but what about working with, playing with, eating every meal with, parenting with, sitting and relaxing with, and every other activity you can think of with your  spouse…every day, all day, with no breaks.  Sounds fantastic right?!  Or does it sound like you might need a case of Xanax airlifted to your location.  So, what are some practical ideas for how to cope with sharing your every waking moment with your spouse without running screaming from your house because you decided it would be better to take your chances with the pandemic instead?   -----   1. Give each other space.   2. Empathize with your spouse; seeing through their eyes. Giving them patience and don't assume the worst in your spouse.    3. Keep structure within the marriage.    4. Have "other than spouse" adult time. Hangout with people via an online platform.    5. Have spiritual time together.    ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Okay, the COVID…how do we NOT talk about this?  We’re all now working from home, schooling from home, going to church from home, and oh yea, performing all other human activity during every waking moment…from home.  So how do we make it through?  Other than monitoring Twitter all day?  Listen in this week, as the guys discuss ways to cope with the COVID confinement.  I mean, what else ya got to do?   -----   5 Things Your Family Can Do During COVID   1. Turn off the news   2. Get outside   3. Maintain family routine   4. Keep educating them   5. Don't do screens all day   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

So, you're talking with a friend about something other than the COVID, and your Christian faith comes up.  The friend mentions that they have a huge problem with all of the evil that has been done in the name of God throughout history, and that most Christians today seem to be homophobes, xenophobes, transphobes, and, well, you get the picture.  How do we respond?  How do we teach our kids to respond?  The boys are back this week to offer some very kind, sympathetic, non-abrasive, nor phobic-in-any-way, suggestions.    -----   Oppressive Christianity years ago was killing people; oppressive Christianity today is infringing on thoughts/beliefs.   Christian history does not substantiate an oppressive church history, but the exact opposite.    There isn't any defending terrible acts like the crusades, but you have to begin with questioning whether or not those folks were even Christians. Their actions contradict everything that Jesus said.   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

You know what really sticks with you…other than a foot fungus?  When it comes to our families, the answer is rituals or traditions.  Things that are said and done consistently, frequently, that span over a long duration.  Going to church and small group a couple of times a month is good, but there’s a reason that only 32% of kids raised in evangelical homes stay believers as adults.  This week the guys kick around the issue of family rituals, the glue that can help hold faiths and families together.   -----   Neuroplasticity   To build your child's faith neurobiologically, you must do faith consistently, frequently and over a long duration   Real Life Podcast Jeff Bethke   Jess Bethke Daily Saying "I am not what I do I am not what I have I am not what people say about me I am the beloved of God It is who I am No one can take it from me I don't have to worry I don't have to hurry I can trust my friend Jesus and share His love with the world"   Myers Family Prayer I pray there's not a day you can remember not knowing Jesus. That you understand your need for a Savior at an early age and experience the freedom that comes from giving your life to him.   I pray that praise would be in your heart and on your lips continually.   I pray that you would know who you are in light of the gospel. That you would have a Christ-centered confidence and Christ-centered worth.   I pray that you would hate sin and love holiness.   That you would know the power of the blood to defeat all the works of the one who came to kill, steal and destroy. That you develop relationships based on the drawing of the Holy Spirit.   I pray that you would love the word of God. That you would seek to understand it, hide it in your heart, and base your life on it.    I pray that you will love others well. That you would have a servant's heart and a desire for your life to be used for something greater than yourself.     **Josh was kidding when he said he's "naturally good at Pairadocs topics"; he has to constantly work toward achieving these things by God's grace.    ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

It’s been said that there are only two things that are a certainty in this life: Death and Taxes…well, and you could also add the Dallas Cowboys losing in the first round of the playoffs.  But your family is going face the death of a grandparent, family member, or friend at some point.  That IS a certainty.  So, how do we guide our families through this very sad, scary, and confusing life experience?  Listen in this week.  This discussion is to die for…sorry.   -----   Give yourself grace! Don't judge yourself for your feelings while grieving.  There is no one right way to grieve, but there is a wrong way - avoiding it.   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

It is easy to freak your freak in mid life. This moment, that you've been looking forward to your whole life. You have the spouse. The kids. The job. The house. But it can still feel empty.    But what if this is as good as it gets?   What do you do then? Listen in as the boys discuss.   -----   Wisdom is having the right perspective. It is fighting the feeling of being trapped!  There is purpose in mid life   We must accept that this is mid life. It's not perfect, but it is beautiful. You are not alone; most in this life stage feel this way.   God's word remains a constant, even when your life is a storm. So trust Him. Don't lean on your own understanding.    ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Like a foot fungus you just can’t seem to get rid of…the boys are back with all new episodes for the new year!  And they kick it off with this little gem.  Question:  Would you love a spouse that was gentle, loving, kind, generous, engaged, compassionate, and absolutely couldn’t keep their hands off you?  WELL WHO WOULDN’T!!!  Anybody would love a spouse like that.  The trick is to be able to love a spouse that isn’t like that.  As believers, we’re not called to love our spouse “because”, but to love them “anyway.”    -----   Poltergeist Intro Love Anyway - Gary Thomas Different Types of Love   Luke 6 "It's so hard to see when my eyes are on me" Keith Green Gary Gramling   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

What if there was one thing that would make most, if not all, family conflicts lessen, of not end.   What would pay for get ahold of the “magic bullet” of relational harmony?  Well get out your credit cards my friends, because this week, the guys discuss the all-important issue of empathy.  This one little touchy-feely word can go a long way toward reducing marital, occupational, and parental conflict.  How do I know?  Because I can feel your pain…   -----   Brene Brown on Empathy   Empathy drives connection, sympathy drives disconnection.   Brene Brown ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

The tragedy of a mass shooting.  It’s all over the news.  Everybody is talking about it, political blame is flying back and forth, and there sits our kids.  Scared, confused, and in some cases, completely ignorant of the events swirling around them.  So how do we best discuss unimaginable evil with our kids and keep their innocents intact?  Not sure that's possible, but listen in as Jimmy and Josh tackle talking tragedy with our children.    -----   Luby's Shooting in Killeen   The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel   When God Doesn't Make Sense by James Dobson   If kids are old enough to ask, they're old enough to hear. You don't have to know an unknowable act of God. There's nothing wrong with saying 'I don't know.' Talk about the solution more than you talk about the problem.    Solution: Pray, love others   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

If you are as sick of politics as I am, raise your hand, right there where you are…yes, God bless you…yes, I see that hand.  Are there any others?  With the current political climate and ever-present social media bombarding our every waking moment, we can’t get away from politics, even if we wanted to.  Every song, TV show, movie, sporting event, etc. has comments, demonstrations, or snide political comments.  IT JUST NEVER ENDS!!  Join the fellas this week, as they examine, how we as believers, couples, and parents can navigate the political ocean that we’re all seemingly drowning in.    -----   Margaret Thatcher   Jesus is the Answer (song)   Andy Bannister interview   Home Fires     As parents, we set the emotional tone of the home. Don't freak your kids out with your anxieties. ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  What does your child see?  How does our body image impact the way we perceive ourselves and how we perceive others perceive us…I may have used the word, “perceive” one too many times?  Our self-image has an enormous influence on the quality of our lives and the lives of our children, yet how we determine that self-image can make us fickle at best and be damaging at it’s worst.  Join the guys this week as they look at how we view our physical selves, where it comes from, and how it can negatively effect our entire lives. -----   Josh Harris' announcements about Christianity and his divorce   Solutions: Parents set the tone Eat to live, don't live to eat   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

You’ve heart it said that it is not good for man to be alone.  Well, this week, the guys explore exactly why that is.  This is not about being single, or the benefits of “alone time.”  It’s about the pervasive, negative impact of toxic isolation in both individuals, couples, and families.  So, in keeping with the theme, listen to this episode in a large group of your closest friends! -----   "pathology, sin, addiction breeds in isolation"   "The fruit of the spirit will never breed in isolation"   Isolation - not busyness, but not having people who truly know you.   Solution:   Church! (Being involved, not just going) Be known     ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

This week the guys talk through essential movies to watch with your daughters. Whether you're a dad or mom, watch these movies with your girls. Through these movies you can help them learn healthy feminine traits.    -----   History Lovers Club on Twitter   Top 10 Movies for Girls: 1. Parent Trap 2. Mean Girls 3. Princess Diaries 4. Freaky Friday 5. Moana 6. Brave  7. Wizard of Oz 8. Frozen 9. A League of Their Own 10. Soul Surfer     ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

After three episodes dealing with the devastating impact of pornography on a person’s life.  The boys thought that a wrap up session was in order.  What are some practical step to elevate this problem?  Listen in and find out… -----   www.brainheartworld.org Part 1 - how porn impacts our brain Part 2 - how porn impacts our relationships Part 3 - how porn impacts the world   You have to get real with someone besides the men in your life. Pornography is infidelity. Any sex that is selfish is wrong.   The addict brain tells you the exact thing to do in order to keep you addicted.   Disclosure is essential. Fear is the opposite of faith.   Find a Certified Sexual Addication Therapist (CSAT)   Covenant Eyes XXX Church   If your spouse confesses to you: DON'T SHAME Hurt, anger, sadness are ok emotions to share.     ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

A lot of great things come in threes.  The number of outs in an inning or baseball, how many branches of government the USA has, not to mention the number of personalities that make up the holy Trinity.  But don’t forget to add to that list the number of episodes in the current Pairadocs series on the adverse effects that pornography has on the mind, relationships…and this week the world.  Please view the third video in the series found at www.mindheartworld.org and join in the discussion of the gruesome impact that porn has on society via sex trafficking, child trafficking, and the mind numbing influence that the porn industry has on those who participate in it.  Not a ton of humor in this one…   -----   www.brainheartworld.org Part 1 - how porn impacts our brain Part 2 - how porn impacts our relationships Part 3 - how porn impacts the world   Fight the New Drug   "97 billion hours of pornography are viewed each year, equating to 52,000 years of porn are viewed each year... on ONE porn site"   St. Peter's foot   "Porn is a receipt for rape"   "95% of porn involves a woman getting hit"   "Regular porn views are 1/3 more likely to be involved in domestic violence"   "Porn is a documentary of a woman's humiliation"   Teen Vogue Approves of Sex Work for Girls   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

This week the guys are halfway through their three-part series on one of our favorite topics…pornography.  Hopefully, by now you’ve all gone to www.mindheartworld.org and watched the first two episodes of this groundbreaking documentary about the colossally negative impact that porn has on all that view it.  This week, we will thoroughly examine part two; how viewing pornography all but prevents a person from establishing or maintaining close personal relationships.  One may say, “So what?!  So, I’m watching some pornography.  What harm can there be?”  If you are married, in a long-term relationship, or ever hope to be…listen and learn my friend.  Listen and learn.    -----   www.brainheartworld.org Part 1 - how porn impacts our brain Part 2 - how porn impacts our relationships Part 3 - how porn impacts the world   Fight the New Drug   Harvard Study - Happiness    Wall Street Movie Michael Douglas Ghost in the Darkness The American President   Mirror Neurons   "You double your chances of divorce by viewing porn regularly"   "Happiness=Relationship/Love = Focus"   Keith Green   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Welcome to a new three-part series of Pairadocs.  We don’t do this very often, but in leu of the most recent research establishing the fact that over 8 in 10 of young men between the ages of 20 and 29 are viewing hardcore pornography weekly…I did say, weekly!  We felt compelled to address this issue once again.  We need you to go to www.brainheartworld.org.  This is an amazing three-part video series produced by an amazing organization called Fight The New Drug.  Follow them on every platform that you have available to you.  We want you to log in; view the videos and then engage with us as we discuss the contents.  Part One deals with how pornography impacts…no, changes the brain.  Incredible videos, intriguing discussion.  We’ll tackle the second video next week that focuses on how porn all but short circuits our ability to have intimate relationships…Let’s do this!!   -----   www.brainheartworld.org Part 1 - how porn impacts our brain Part 2 - how porn impacts our relationships Part 3 - how porn impacts the world   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

So, what’s more fun than talking about a VERY heart wrenching topic in a way that will alienate half the listening audience?  It’s a sad subject and is even sadder that the subject has to be talked about.  Take a listen this week as Jimmy and Josh honestly discuss the tragic topic of abortion.     -----   Roe v Wade 1 Timothy 3 Luke 6:32   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

This week the guys talk through essential movies to watch with your sons. Whether you're a dad or mom, watch these movies with your sons. Through these movies you can help them learn healthy masculine traits.    -----   Grumpy Cat   Questions to ask while watching films:   What qualities were depicted in this film that teach us what kind of man God wants us to be?  How can we, like Christ, stand up against insurmountable odds? Why do some men choose to die for what they believe to be noble/right?      Essential Movies   1. Field of Dreams 2. Saving Private Ryan 3. Rudy 4. Remember the Titans 5. Glory 6. Wonder 7. Braveheart 8. Gladiator 9. Apollo 13 10. Hoosiers     **Jimmy Fallon is not on Saving Private Ryan, he was in Band of Brothers   Facts about Paul Revere's ride   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

This week the guys participate in their own golf tournament, benefiting themselves. No surprise, no one else showed up. But Jimmy and Josh had a blast playing and having a conversation about their lives as father and son. You won't want to miss.    -----       ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

I remember once watching John Wayne in an old movie (As every red-blooded American male should do, at least once a month) as he was waiting on top of the wall at the cavalry outpost for an attack from the marauding Indians.  He said to a much less experienced soldier, “It’s quiet…too quiet.”  In other words, when it gets too quiet, it’s all about the hit the proverbial fan!  Freeze and Flee, the last of Sue Johnson’s Demon Dialogues, has to do when couples reach the point of giving up.  When it gets quiet…too quiet.  If you find yourself or someone you love in this desperate state, listen in as the guys help you not get scalped.  Or, or you know what I mean.   -----   Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson   Part 1 and 2 in this series: Plank and Spec Episode Protest Polka Episode   If you are stuck in the 'freeze and flee' dialogue: - Share with your spouse a cue that begins the distancing process - Recognize what you are telling yourself that keeps you separated   Problem solve, discuss with spouse: When you do _____ I don't feel safely connected to you. Then I tend to _______. I do it in the hopes that ________. And as this pattern keeps going, I feel _________. The more I __________, the more you _______. Maybe we can warn each other when this starts.     Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas Gottman's Stonewalling   Josh's Solutions: Realize you are the problem in your marriage (humility and repentance) Seek counsel   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Tune in this week and Jimmy and Josh answer parent questions they received at a recent speaking engagement. The boys bat around several topics you’re sure to enjoy.     -----   The Highwaymen   Lorena   What is the best way to approach the topic of sex with your teenager? Early and often, don't wait until they are teenagers. This is a lifelong conversation   Raising an Original by Julie Lyles Carr Preparing for Adolescence by James Dobson   When is a cellphone a good idea and is there an appropriate age to start? Dumb phone - when you need to communicate with your child Smart phone - high school/sophomore   How do you apologize to your kid without them using it against you later? Apologize for your part and punish them for theirs. They can't leverage it against you unless you let them.   What are the red flags that tells you your child needs counseling? Look at their lowered level of functioning, see if anything has changed.   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Would you like to dance?  Well, if you’re a good Baptist (and Josh most certainly is not!), the answer would an unequivocal “no.”  And that would be the correct answer for all of us when it comes to the Protest Polka.  This deadly relationship dance is one of the main indicators of marriages that don’t make it past the 5-year mark.  Listen in as the guys, two step their way through this issue and tango their way to a solution…ok, I’m completely done with dancing puns.    -----   My Redeemer Lives by Nicole C Mullen   Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson Emotionally Focused Therapy   Baby attachment video   Soften Your Start-Up (Gottman) ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Self-esteem. What is it? How do we acquire it? And how do we build it within our child? Is self-esteem even important? Tune in this week as the guys talk all things self-esteem and your child.   ----- Little Shop of Horrors   A Few Good Men   How we build self-esteem in our children: - We can't just tell them how good and special they are all the time - Make sure we allow for failure - They need to be told they have sinned and that's why we need Jesus - Work. Allow them to struggle - Random expressions of love and pride   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

So, a Sequoia Redwood and a nanoparticle of dust walk into a bar…  What do they have in common?  It’s no joke, it’s your marriage, of course!  The Bible is stuffed full of powerful and famous verses that relate to our marriage relationships.  And this week, the guys dig into Matthew 7:3-5, one of the least known and most powerful of those snippets from God’ Word concerning marital bliss.  Just to give you a heads up.  Jesus doesn’t call folks hypocrites very often…   -----   Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs - "You don't play the villain like he's the villain, because the villain is the hero in his own story."   ReIengage   "Wagging never works!"    "Self-righteousness never works."   Dr. Susan Johnson - Demon Dialogue   1990s Worship   Matthew 7:3-5 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.   Watermark Church   "Accept that you're the problem within your marriage."   "When you're arguing both spouses shouldn't leave the argument until both have apologized."   Self assessment:   1) Do you focus on your spouses faults more often than you're thankful for him/her? 2) Do you believe your spouse is lucky to have you?   ----- Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers   Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers   Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast   How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast   Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com   The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com