The Burt Selleck Podcast

Chat GPT's Review of this Episode:Okay, so I just listened to the latest episode of the podcast and I genuinely don't know whether to recommend it or call the cops. It opens with one of them watching 9/11 footage for fun (?) and then immediately shifts into a heartfelt (?) story about eating a trans man's pussy at a gay bathhouse. And that's just the first five minutes.The rest of the episode is a non-stop, two-hour chaos spiral of the most deranged, offensive, honest, and weirdly touching conversations you've ever heard—like if Howard Stern, Jackass, and a philosophy seminar about gender, pleasure, and roast beef all merged during a group acid trip in a steam room.You will hear phrases like:“This might be a gateway pussy.”“You don't let a dick stop you from hanging with your bros.”“Free Palestine… spelled with your tongue.”“You're the sigma Christ of allyship.”By the end, they're somehow talking about cheeses, bathhouse fashion, hot sauce hierarchies, and Abraham Lincoln's gay lover. It's completely unhinged, but you can't stop listening because it's also weirdly wholesome in the way that only disgusting, honest people who love each other can be.Warning:Do not let your grandma accidentally hear this. This is for fans of raw, messy, queer-adjacent degenerate comedy that doesn't apologize and doesn't hold your hand. If you're easily offended, just... don't.Verdict:Unfiltered filth with a surprisingly tender core. I laughed out loud, gagged a few times, and honestly? Felt a little proud of them. Listen if you're okay with losing your sense of morality for 90 minutes. Skip if you require a safe word.

Okay, so this episode is unhinged. Like, fully unfiltered garage-talk energy from four guys who sound like they've been friends for 20 years and have no concept of an inside voice—or HR. It starts with a debate over whether they say “cuss,” “swear,” or “curse,” and from there it just devolves into a fever dream of bits, roast prep, conspiracy theories, engagements, ancient aliens, and whether or not it's possible to kill someone in a CIA broom closet without leaving evidence. (Spoiler: someone thinks the key question is "was my cum on the body?")Eventually they spiral into a philosophical conversation about committing murder, being emotionally equipped to kill, whether dogs can be reborn as phoenixes, and a dead friend's Yorkie named Buttons. By the end, they're talking about circumcision, mushroom-shaped bulges in jeans, and what food trucks they'd start if society collapses.Warning:This is not for the faint of heart. If you're easily offended, skip it. If you're in the mood to hear a bunch of degenerates get genuinely sweet about one of them getting engaged between riffs about buttholes and animal murder? This is your episode.Verdict:Listen if you like your comedy podcast with a side of chaos, a sprinkle of deep friendship, and absolutely no editing. Avoid if you require structure or don't want to hear the word “c***” used as punctuation.

Here's this weeks AI review:This episode is a chaotic, rambling juggernaut of hypothetical animal fights, anxiety about sleep apnea machines, low-key geopolitical analysis, and tender moments of friendship masked as insults. The "100 men vs. 1 gorilla" debate takes center stage and becomes the backbone of a surprisingly in-depth discussion on human frailty, group dynamics, and just how useless militia guys would be in a real fight.There are some strong comedic riffs (the gorilla's new weapon is a man's arm, the idea of gorilla cavalry, a jaguar in floaties being dropped into mako-infested waters), and everyone brings their A-game when it comes to one-liners and absurd logic. At times, the episode threatens to collapse under its own weight, but then it hits you with something like “jaguar life vest” or “Christmas, the man who smuggles entire PS5s in his ass,” and you're back in.It's long. It's messy. It meanders. But it's funny. If you like your comedy with a heavy dose of chaos and group-chat energy, this is absolutely worth the listen.Recommended?Yes — if you're cool with no clear structure, lots of shouting, and a gorilla swinging militia guys like nunchucks.No — if you need your podcasts edited, focused, or remotely productive.

Chat GPT's review of tonight's episode:This episode feels like a time capsule of everything that's quietly wrong with America.It starts with a group therapy session for Detroit sports fans, turns into a sleep apnea horror story, briefly becomes an estate sale hustle seminar, and somehow ends with an extended conversation about whether elephants give the best...hugs.The sports talk is angry but defeated, the estate sale plans are delusional, and the moral center of the group seems to be one extremely judgmental pit bull at a dog park.It's the kind of episode that makes you laugh out loud and also wonder if maybe every one of these guys should be on a government watch list.Five stars. Wouldn't change a thing.

Chat GPT's review of tonight's episode:Imagine a podcast recorded in a Waffle House parking lot at 2AM — but with slightly more Jesus discourse and slightly less bodily harm. This episode feels like someone dropped a live microphone into a group of cousins who've been banned from three different Chili's locations. Topics include: whether Jesus staged his resurrection as an elaborate Weekend at Bernie's situation, whether you could strangle a coyote with your hair, and why 80% of American history was probably written by dudes trying to impress each other. Not for the faint of heart, pastors, or anyone who needs their podcast conversations to 'stay on topic.' Would not recommend to my mom. Would absolutely recommend to my cousin Nick.

Here's what ChatGPT thought of tonight's episode:This episode feels like eavesdropping on two guys at a diner at 1:30 AM—unfiltered, rambling, occasionally insightful, and somehow still funny even when they're just talking about heartburn, Taco Bell, or old jobs at Express.The chemistry is solid, the tangents are nonstop, and there's a weird mix of sincerity and absolute idiocy that makes it hard to turn off. It's long (like really long), but if you're into chaotic, no-topic-is-off-limits, Detroit-flavored hangout podcasts, you'll probably love it. If not, you'll last 15 minutes and wonder why someone's talking about fish eyes and track suits for horses.Standout moment: the T-Mobile albino manager named Bleach with steampunk glasses.Do I recommend it? If you like your podcasts messy, loud, and oddly personal—absolutely. If you need structure or coherence… this ain't that.

Here's what Chat GPT thinks of this episode:So this episode starts with John talking about his hearing loss, which somehow leads to a 20-minute conversation about Simon & Garfunkel, Chinese tariffs, and whether or not the military would back a dictator if martial law kicks in on April 20th. Yeah, it's that kind of podcast.The real meat of the episode is just three funny guys—Alex, John, and Nick—spiraling through topics like political collapse, ChatGPT-written medical theses, and which birds are the most “gay.” There's a lot of riffing, a lot of absurd hypotheticals (like what animal they'd sleep with if they had to), and the kind of unfiltered bits that feel like they were meant for a group chat that accidentally got recorded.At its best, it's hilarious, chaotic, and weirdly sincere. The tangents are sharp and layered—like one minute they're trashing Elon Musk, and the next they're building a whole mythos about octopus intelligence and mermaids learning to suppress their gag reflex in heaven. Somehow, it all ties together.But it's also long as hell, meanders a ton, and definitely crosses into “Jesus Christ, are we still talking about this?” territory—especially during the animal sex bit, which goes on way too long. And sometimes the ignorance bit (like confusing Japan and China or talking about pansexuality like it's a sandwich preference) leans more lazy than funny. It's a fine line, and they don't always walk it clean.Should you listen?If you like unfiltered, late-night energy from comics who aren't trying to go viral or be polished, and you're cool with offensive humor that's more about exploring dumb ideas than making a point—then yeah, give it a shot. If you're the kind of person who thinks podcasts should have structure or edits or a clear purpose... maybe sit this one out.But if you want to hear three guys get lost in the dumbest, funniest corners of their brains, this episode will absolutely deliver. Just maybe don't play it on speakers at work.

I unveil the most lethal wrestling move of all time.

Ian is revolutionizing omelets.

We break down the podcast by season. Also, Nick died again. We think for real this time. Skippy Rose sat in for him. Skippy is a very funny stand-up from Detroit. Check out her YouTube page where you can catch some of her sketches and her podcast "Kung Pow n' Puff Girls."

Ian does some death planning in this one.

My podcast partners were threatened by my presence and wouldn't give me the Disney characters we all know I deserve to represent me.

Nick and I get stood up by John and Ian on what was supposed to be a very special post Valentine's Day episode.

John and Nick went to a bar to watch the Royal Rumble and we talk sauces, honey and various other things that John despises.

John wasn't here and Ian claims to know who killed JFK.

This one is kind of solemn after the Lion's dropped the bag in their playoff game after having the bye week.

It's another film treatment episode.

Ian quit the show. John loves loosies.

We get into some of my (Alex) web viewing habits.

Ian went to the steakhouse without us and didn't get very good service because he looks like a scary criminal.

We came up with the new music sensation that's going to sweep the nation.

I don't feel like writing these anymore so I asked AI to summarize this episode for us:A meandering conversation between three* friends covering a wide range of topics, from clothing sizes and Thanksgiving dinners to ghost stories, alien conspiracies, and the ethics of dentistry.*There's four of us.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We are an Arborist podcast now.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Nick is back from his job interviews in D.C. Ian got a new microphone.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Nick took a sick day to take a job interview in Washington. Keep your fingers crossed. He won't say what the job is but told us it starts in mid-January if he gets it. He sounds really excited.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian bought new shoes and we revisit John's horrible palette.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We talk about how one evolutionary difference with our digestive systems and how much a different, darker world we would live in.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We talk about our techniques in keeping our T levels up. We reminisce on our times recording in Ian's old apartment.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We talked, Tigers, Pistons and Red Wings in this. We also go a little bit into foreign policy.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian had another no call no show so we worked on our Ian impression in this one. The boys plea with me hydrate better. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Nick got lost in some tunnels and couldn't make it tonight. I tells us his coffee brewing secrets.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

All the boys were back for tonight's episode. We got off a few good riffs. Nick shopping this morning, my penis, Nazis, which of our civilizations would reign supreme over the others, we touch it all in this one.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Nick is back from Israel. Ian no showed on us again. John got a hand me down microphone.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian went to a music festival and described a dream weekend to me and John. Nick is still "freedom fighting" in the middle east.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Nick found his calling and he followed his heart. Ian is at a music festival. Me and John talk sports in this one and our origin story.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

John has a new client. I was in New York last week. Nick is getting old. Ian has some opinions on super hero origin stories.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

I saw Alien Romulus today so me and Ian talk Alien lore. John and Nick are dead.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian was not with us on this one. We come up with a new movie premise. We're pretty pumped about Alien Romulus.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We talk, Xenomorphs, Yautja, mining minerals, new Mortal Kombat finishers. There's a little bit for everyone in this one.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian fucked around and almost found out. Thank Gods John was here. I had Goop ready to go. We have to issue a disclaimer to our fans. DO NOT STENCIL OUR PODCAST LOGO AROUND YOUR TOWN AND POST PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM AND TAG US ;) ;)This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian continues to insist he'd be a better sniper than me. We bet my pinky toe that I'd be a better shot.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Our 200th Episode had to land on one of the darkest weekends in American history. We talk about that and Wizardry.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian wasn't with us today. We talked about which cartoons were the hottest and John's parenting style.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian tells his biggest fantasy and I take on a controversial take that may have split this podcast forever.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Ian is going to open a chili factory where he bathes in chili and forces tiny Greek men to sing to children.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Nick takes shots at the Orca community. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We were down a man on this one. Please hire Ian to do your plugs for you on podcasts and other various forms of digital media.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Milk, Pepsi, NO ICE.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

John has an interesting new marketing strategy. We also talk about our best movie theater experiences.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We discuss fancy family dinners, and how we hate change.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

We do a deep dive on the Kendrick/Drake beef. Melon-style.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy