Your Parenting Long Game

When we see our kids struggling with things like schoolwork, or friend drama, or dealing with a teacher they don't like, we often offer suggestions to help them get through those situations more easily. But what should we do when our children give short or snarky responses to our genuine attempts to help?  In this episode, you'll learn:  Why kids are so resistant to our suggestions, even if they know they're good ones What we almost always do that makes the situation worse How to respond to this type of attitude so that you maintain your positive, powerful influence (and they don't get away with anything!)  --  Join the "Daily Lift" for $1 Free summary of (and examples from) this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

People who have big feelings have many strengths. They understand other people really well and often have very strong, meaningful relationships. But there are also potential downsides to having big emotions, like having a hard time making decisions, feeling different from friends and family members, and feeling bad about themselves. Fortunately, there is something that we can do as parents to help our kids with these struggles, while strengthening their resilience and self-esteem.   In this episode, you'll learn:  What it was like for me growing up as a highly sensitive person in a family that didn't feel things as strongly Two common side effects of having big feelings What we can do to help our kids handle their discomfort in healthy ways and build their confidence rather than eroding it -- Join the "Daily Lift" for $1 FREE RESOURCE: Fostering Resilience Without Sacrificing Self-Esteem Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

We know setting limits for our children is an important part of parenting. But kids with big emotions often have over-the-top reactions that seem disproportionate to the situation. How can we handle their reactions effectively when we are exhausted by their rudeness, disrespect, and negotiations?  In this episode, you'll learn:  Why children have big reactions to reasonable limits What we're doing as parents that often makes it worse How we can help our kids handle discomfort when things don't go their way (without losing our influence!)  -- Join the "Daily Lift" for $1 FREE RESOURCE: Defuse dramatic situations by understanding the Yuck Curve Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

It's natural to want to do a “good job” as a parent. We want to be attentive, be calm when our kids are having a difficult time, teach them all the skills they need to know in life…and it's easy to be really hard on ourselves when we don't do all of those things well. The good news is, our kids don't need parents who never make mistakes -- they actually need us to be imperfect!  In this episode, you'll learn:  Why it's hard for us to accept that our imperfections make us better parents Four reasons we MUST be imperfect to raise great kids What we should spend our energy on, instead of trying to be good at everything  --  JOIN THE “DAILY LIFT” + WEEKLY “GET UNSTUCK” CONVERSATION FOR $1 Summary and examples from this episode Transcript for this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

If you are raising a child or children with big emotions, you probably deal with a lot of drama throughout the day: anxiety, resistance, disrespect…maybe even your child speaking negatively about themselves. The good news? There are a lot of strategies that can help. The bad news? There are a lot of strategies that can help. And often because there are a lot of these strategies that can help, you may feel so exhausted and run down that you don't know which strategies to try first or what your next step should be.  This episode includes:  What keeps us feeling stuck and unable to move past our overwhelm The first step we need to take to get unstuck -- and why it doesn't take any extra energy! How one simple shift can help us find more lightness inside and more peace in our homes  JOIN THE “DAILY LIFT” (+ WEEKLY “GET UNSTUCK” CONVERSATION) FOR $1 Transcript for this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

If you are raising children with big emotions, you are probably used to their big reactions when they are tired, hungry, or overstimulated. But sometimes children have big reactions even when there is no obvious reason, leaving us feeling confused and like we have to walk on eggshells around them.   In this episode, you'll learn:  What is going on when our kids act overly irritated or annoyed but it isn't clear why  How to recognize what I call “energy mismatches” (with examples) What we can do to help our kids have fewer big reactions -- and more confidence and healthy self-esteem --   Transcript of this episode FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

We know how important it is to be a powerful positive influence with our children. But becoming one sounds daunting at times -- especially with everything else we have to juggle on a daily basis. The good news is, we can increase our influence easily, just by adding two little words to our vocabulary!   In this episode, you'll learn:  What a “powerful positive influence” is, and what happens when you are one Two qualities every powerful positive influence has Two “magic” words that show our kids we care, we are consistent, and we can handle their big emotions --  Transcript of this episode FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

Children with big emotions often struggle with transitions: Getting out of the house in the morning, stopping what they're doing to go to the dinner table or to get ready for bed. They may even resist leaving the house when they have something fun to do, like a birthday party! When nothing seems to motivate them, we can feel confused and frustrated. Fortunately, there is something that we can do to help our children with transitions, and it's easier than you might think. In this episode, you'll learn:  Why transitions are difficult for our children (it's not just that they don't feel like going to the next thing) Why traditional strategies like logic and rewards don't work for children with big emotions Two things we can do to make transitions easier for our kids (and us!), with real-life examples -- Transcript of this episode FREE LIVE Parenting "Power Hour" FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

When our children react strongly to disappointment or frustration, we often feel like we need to cater to their needs or give in to keep the peace. And then we worry that our child's big emotions will keep them from learning how to handle the inevitable challenges they'll face in life! Fortunately, even children with big feelings can learn to handle obstacles effectively.  In this episode, you'll learn:  Why feeling strongly is strength -- and why it's important we don't teach our children to hide their emotions  Why we don't have to cater to our children to prevent hard feelings…and how to empower them instead  A Long Game Parenting strategy that helps kids and parents learn how to respect negative emotions without being controlled by them (with several practical examples) -- FREE LIVE Parenting "Power Hour" FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

You likely want to motivate better behavior and maintain a strong, positive relationship with your children. But there is something that you may be doing frequently that will reduce your influence and harm your relationship… and it happens any time your child isn't behaving or feeling the way you want them to. (How often does that happen?!)   In this episode, you'll learn:  Scientific reasons why we communicate in this harmful way (so you know how to stop it) How our tone and body language impacts our children and leads to bigger reactions in kids with big emotions  One simple shift in perspective can help you build influence and strengthen your relationship in every interaction – with your children and with anyone else  -- FREE LIVE Parenting "Power Hour" FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

It can be frustrating when our children won't do what they're supposed to do: brush their teeth, finish their homework, or complete a chore that we've been asking them to finish. While it's common for kids with big emotions to resist things that feel boring or uncomfortable, it can be exhausting for parents to find “just the right thing” to motivate them to move forward. The good news is, understanding one thing about resistance can reduce it tremendously.    In this episode, you'll learn:  Why kids with big emotions are so likely to resist doing boring or uncomfortable things (what's going on in their brain)  How to recognize this type of response  How to get kids on board with reducing the resistance   -- FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

You crave a peaceful home, but peace can be hard to come by when raising children with big emotions. Our kids are quick to react disproportionately to situations, and it's easy to get sucked into their drama. How can we make sure that we are in control of our homes rather than everyone's reactions?  In this episode, you'll learn:  The science behind big reactions (and why we have more control that we think) How to break the cycle of Yuck that keeps us stuck  A Leadership Parenting strategy called “Expect and Plan” that ensures we are in charge of our homes, not everyone's reactions  -- FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

Show Notes: We might want to handle the daily stressors of life with calmness and respect, but often it doesn't work that way. (At least not for me!) Listen as I describe a situation I handled pretty poorly as a parent – and the strategies I used to get myself out of a cycle of guilt.  In this episode, you'll learn:  How to feel our feelings without being controlled by Yuck A simple and effective Leadership Parenting strategy to address mistakes Questions to ask YOURSELF when you do something you regret -- Free live "Power Hour" event: How to Boost Confidence in Children with Big Emotions FREE RESOURCE: Summary of this episode Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

https://rachel-bailey.com/332https://rachel-bailey.com/332Show Notes: When we are raising children with big emotions, it can be frustrating watching them struggle when things don't come easily. Even when we encourage them and remind them that they can do hard things, they may continue to complain or resist, leaving us wondering: Should we push them, or should we give in? Fortunately, there is a simple way to make this decision… and a way to help them handle discomfort when a push is appropriate.  In this episode, you'll learn:  Why children with big emotions often avoid doing hard things How to decide when to push them do hard things and when it doesn't make sense to push  How we can help deal with their discomfort so they can become the best version of themselves -- Free live "Power Hour" event Free resource: Summary of Episode 332 Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

Show Notes: While some kids with big emotions blame others, others are incredibly hard on themselves. And it can be devastating to hear them beat themselves up when they make a mistake! Often when they do, our instinct is to tell them it will be okay, that it's not a big deal, that everyone makes mistakes. But as you've probably noticed, that doesn't make them stop this behavior in the long run, and it can even make them feel worse in the moment. The good news is that we can use Leadership Parenting strategies to help our children – and ourselves! – handle these situations more effectively.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why previous attempts to help our kids calm down haven't worked -- and often make things worse instead Qualities that many children with big emotions have in common (and why it feels like they regularly get stuck in cycles of negativity) How to stay regulated and help kids get unstuck so they can learn how to handle their mistakes in the moment… and build resilience for the future -- Free live "Power Hour" event Free resource: Summary of Episode 331 Join Rachel's Facebook group The Leadership Parenting Academy and Success Lab

Most parents who are raising kids with big emotions would say that our kids' reactions – their reactions when they don't get their way, or when they have to do something they don't want to do, etc. – tend to be very big and very difficult to manage. Often, we feel like their reactions control our homes because they impact our daily routines, our other children, and even the decisions we make. But it is possible to regain control of your home so that it doesn't seem like those emotions or reactions are in charge! Specific step-by-step strategies, called Leadership Parenting strategies, can help you make that happen. In this episode, you'll learn: What Leadership Parenting strategies are and why they're so powerful  Two actionable leadership parenting strategies that allow us and our children to respect emotions without being controlled by them Benefits of using leadership parenting strategies with our kids --  FREE RESOURCE: Leadership Parenting Strategies Join Rachel's Facebook group Free training for parents with kids with big emotions Learn more about the Leadership Parenting Academy and Leadership Parenting Success Lab

Having a joyful and connected holiday season can be challenging when we are raising kids with big emotions. We are so busy and our children are overstimulated, full of sugar and out of their regular routines. If we aren't proactive, we can become overwhelmed, exhausted, and resentful. The good news is, a simple process (that just takes a few minutes) can reduce holiday Yuck and increase our parenting influence, giving us more energy to enjoy the season.  In this episode, you'll learn: How to work with our children to solve problems, rather than working against them A simple process that addresses our kids' negative behavior, moods, and attitudes in the moment  How to use this same process to teach them the skills they need for the next time they have big feelings -- FREE RESOURCE: Work WITH your child using the 4Ps Join Rachel's Facebook group Free training for parents with kids with big emotions

https://rachel-bailey.com/?p=88635Holidays can be hard for kids with big emotions. From staying up late to being out of regular routines to being overstimulated, this season can leave us all feeling exhausted and stressed. In this bonus episode, I share a plan for holiday stress that doesn't take a lot of time... and almost always leads to success! In this episode, you'll learn: Why taking 5-10 minutes now will save you hours later  The steps in this process, with an example of each  How this plan ensures that you will feel more in control this holiday season  -- FREE RESOURCE: Plan for Success with the 4Ps (and examples) Get Rachel's support Join Rachel's Facebook group Free training for parents with kids with big emotions

Show Notes: It can be hard to know what to say to a child with big emotions when they're struggling. And while it's important not to pressure yourself to say the “right thing” all the time, one small change (that you can make immediately) will almost always make things better in those situations.   In this episode, you'll learn: Why one word (that most of us use all the time) almost always upsets children with big emotions  The alternative word that can make a positive difference in negative situations  How this shift improves our influence in the moment and strengthens our children's self-esteem in the long run --  FREE RESOURCE: Reminder of “but” to “because” strategy + examples Apply to Rachel's “Beyond Behavior Blueprint” program Join Rachel's Facebook group Free training for parents with kids with big emotions

Many kids with big emotions lack confidence, and that can be heartbreaking to see. While building children's confidence doesn't happen overnight, one simple action can help. Even better, this same action can also strengthen your relationship and takes less than a minute to use!  In this episode, you'll learn: The simple strategy to strengthen your child's confidence and your relationship  How we can incorporate this strategy into our daily lives Why this strategy might not work for anxious or sensitive kids (and why that's a good thing!) --  FREE RESOURCE: List of "Emotional Needs Accounts" + ideas for deposits Apply to Rachel's "Beyond Behavior Blueprint" program Join Rachel's Facebook group Free training for parents with kids with big emotions

It's very common as we're raising kids with big emotions to walk on eggshells, fearing the moment we might “set them off.” But it is possible to learn to diffuse dramatic situations more easily so that we can handle them instead of dreading them.  In this episode, you'll learn, through the “sink metaphor”: Why it's absolutely in our power to make situations better instead of worse  What our kids really need so that they (and we) don't get stuck in the drama   What our responses are like from our children's perspective  -- FREE RESOURCE: What to do when your child is having a big emotion: https://rachel-bailey.com/yuck-curve/ Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/327-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

Many children with big emotions crave consistency, but how can we be consistent when life gets in the way? There are so many things to juggle as a parent -- extracurriculars, homework, schedule changes, work trips, family visits -- and we're tired. The good news is that there's an alternative to consistency that is much easier to achieve as a busy parent (and it has all the same benefits!). In this episode, you'll learn: How to reduce the pressure on yourself and still meet your kids' needs  The difference between predictability and consistency  What it feels like to be on the receiving end of this strategy  -- Your personalized next step: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/204 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/326-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

There is nothing worse than feeling helpless as a parent, and it's easy to feel powerless or out of control when our kids won't listen to what we have to say. Often when we feel powerless, we end up trying to control our children more… which only reduces our influence! Fortunately, there is a simple strategy that can help you improve the impact of your words so your children can actually hear the lessons you're trying to teach them.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why most people dig their heels in when people try to change them  How to give our kids with big emotions what they need to be able to hear us A simple strategy to increase our influence that requires us to spend less energy, not more --  Your personalized next step: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/202 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/325-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

Often when we ask our kids with big emotions to do things they have to do, instead of doing what we ask, they resist, negotiate, or even become disrespectful to us (or themselves!). And when we feel helpless and stuck, we often then fall back on strategies that our parents used with us… which tends to make things worse. So how can we motivate responsible and respectful behavior when our attempts seem to just lead to more drama?  In this episode, you'll learn: Two reasons why rewards and punishments don't work for kids with big emotions Common reasons why children struggle (and how we can identify these reasons when our kids are having a hard time) How to go beneath kids' behavior to motivate more positive behaviors, moods, and attitudes with less resistance   

One of the defining qualities of children with "big emotions" is that they have a hard time when things don't go their way. But explaining to them why they need to be more flexible doesn't seem to work, and it only frustrates them and us more! The good news is that we can help our children handle frustration and disappointment when we shift from telling children WHY they need to be more flexible to teaching them HOW to be more flexible. In this episode, you'll learn: Why we reduce our influence when we try to get children to accept that things won't always go their way What they truly need in order to become more adaptable A simple formula (with examples!) to teach them to maturely handle the fact that things will go differently than they expected -- even if they are currently resistant to talk about this --- Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/323-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We want our children to feel respected, and we know that it's important to connect with them and validate their feelings. But when they've behaved in an unacceptable way, it's easy to wonder if, when you're connecting with them, you're letting them “get away” with negative behavior.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why our influence does depend on being able to balance both validation and firmness A simple formula (with examples!) to show our kids that we sincerely care about what they're going through without condoning negative behavior  --- Summary of this episode with examples:  https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/199 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/322-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

Changes and new situations – especially a new school year! – can create a lot of worry for our kids with big emotions. But no matter what the change is, or what their worries are, we can empower children to handle hard things.  In this episode, you'll learn: Simple steps to help kids get ready for a new school year (or any other situation that they're nervous about) How to make it less likely that they'll worry about changes and transitions  How to help them feel more in control of situations that they are anxious about -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/198 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/321-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Many children with big emotions can seem spoiled or entitled at times -- like they expect to get everything they want, all of the time. And even though it can be tempting to give in for the sake of family peace, there are better ways to help our children in these situations… so they can learn how to handle not getting their way in the future.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why kids with big emotions seem to always want more, more, more What we can ask ourselves to know if we're giving our children what they truly need (or just want they want) One thing all parents can give their kids so they don't keep asking for more -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/197 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/320-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Despite the fact that they experience emotions very intensely, it's very common for children who feel strongly to NOT want to talk about their emotions. But in order to address negative behavior, moods, and attitudes, we need to have these conversations! The good news is that using specific phrases will allow us to improve our influence with our children so they are open to hearing us, rather than trying to avoid us.  In this episode, you'll learn: The real reasons why our children tend to avoid talking about their emotions How to start conversations with our kids (without triggering their resistance) How we can help our kids handle their discomfort more effectively and maturely  -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/196 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/319-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

We ask our children to do things all the time, and (of course) we assume that they know how to do what we ask. Why wouldn't they? In reality, a lot of negative behavior stems from skills that children are missing – which means they actually don't know how to do what we ask. In order to improve our influence and their resilience, all we need to do is teach them a few strategies for success.  In this episode, you'll learn: What actually stops children from doing what we want them to do  How one simple shift can decrease our frustration and our exhaustion What it's like to be a child who wants to do better… but can't  -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/194 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/318-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

It can be exhausting to parent children with big emotions -- especially when it feels like our efforts to improve behavior, moods, and attitudes take longer than we would like. Even if we understand (in our minds) that it takes time for our kids to learn how to deal with their discomfort and develop new skills, that doesn't always make us stop wishing they would feel and act better more quickly!  In this episode, you'll learn: Why wanting things to go more quickly actually slows things down  One question we can ask ourselves to change our perspective and our attitude (so progress does happen faster)  The key to less frustration if children do take time to change  -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/194 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/317-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

One of the most common reasons for big emotions in our homes is related to asking our children to get off of their devices. And let's be real: They DO have to learn to get off of their devices without acting like it's the end of the world! But most of the time, we attempt to make this happen makes things worse, not better. When we get into our children's world, we can often understand why our attempts aren't effective – and what we can do instead.  In this episode, you'll learn: What it's like from a child's perspective to have to get off of screens Why his parents' (very logical) attempts to address his behavior don't work  How getting into your child's shoes can help bring peace to your home    --- Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/316-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel  

This time of year, navigating the use of screens can be a real challenge -- especially when you're raising children with big emotions. The summer can start off feeling more relaxed, but then come the power struggles over how long children can be on screens and the meltdowns when they have to get off of their devices. Fortunately, a few simple changes can reduce the drama, even during those times when children are even more likely to turn to screens as entertainment.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why kids with big emotions struggle with screen time limits How to increase your influence to reduce screen time drama  How to give your kids the skills THEY need to get off of screens more easily (helping them deal with transitions and boredom!) __ FREE 1:1 CONVERSATION: Want to talk to Rachel about what's causing YOUR screen time drama?  Send an email to info@Rachel-Bailey.com with the word "Screens" in the subject line!  Free summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/193 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Of course we want our children to listen to us when we ask them to do what they're supposed to do or when we ask them to act maturely in situations that don't go their way.  But often when we try to get our kids to listen to us, we do it in ways that actually decrease our influence. This is especially true when we try to get our children to see why we are right and they are wrong.  Of course it's not that we shouldn't try to motivate better behavior! Rather, we can just do it in more effective ways.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why telling children what they've done wrong doesn't lead to them doing what's right Exactly how to approach your child to increase your influence  Why this non-permissive strategy not only increases your influence, but strengthens your relationship -- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Free summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/191 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

As parents, we want to be able to influence our children. And we can feel helpless and out of control when we try to help our kids feel or act better… and we can't make it happen.  One of the most common ways that we “leak” influence happens on a day-to-day basis in the way we ask our kids to do things and in the way we respond to their requests. Once you become aware of this leak, you can make a simple change and increase your influence immediately!  In this episode, you'll learn: Why some of our our requests and our responses immediately put our kids into fight-or-flight (and make them more resistant to us)  An example that illustrates what this is like for your child that you will be able to relate to Simple strategies to increase your influence and improve your relationship with your child  -- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/191 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

As parents, we want to be able to motivate our kids to act more responsible and handle situations more effectively. And we can feel helpless and out of control when we aren't able to make that happen. Unfortunately, we will feel helpless and out of control because we often (unknowingly) “leak” influence by the way we think about and respond to situations. One of the most common influence leaks happens when we set unrealistic expectations and aren't even aware that we're doing that.  In this episode, you'll learn: How setting realistic expectations increases our influence with our children A simple question that will help you set expectations and handle previously-difficult situations more effectively  The benefits (for us and our kids!) when we plug influence leaks  -- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/190 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

We want to be able to influence our kids. We want them to listen to us, and we want to be able to calm them down so they can work through situations with less drama. So it can be challenging when our attempts to influence them don't work… or even make things worse! In this second episode of a two-part series, we'll discuss what's needed to become a powerful positive influence with your children so you can bring more peace to your home, even if that seems impossible now.  In this episode, you'll learn: The type of influence we usually have with our children – and why it doesn't motivate better behavior, moods, and attitudes The two qualities that you need if you want your children to listen more readily and calm down more easily  What it looks like when you do improve your influence (even if your children don't realize it's happened)  --- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/189 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Most of us crave more calm in our homes. But what do we do when there is drama on an almost-daily basis and nothing we try makes a difference in our child's behavior? Is it possible to reduce the drama and feel more confident in our parenting without damaging our relationship with our children? The good news is you can bring more peace to your family while increasing your children's resilience and self-esteem.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why our current parenting strategies don't change behavior, moods, or attitudes The differences between Band Aid Parenting and Long Game Parenting What our kids really need from us when they're struggling (and the long-term benefits of meeting their needs rather than addressing negative behavior with punishments and rewards) Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/188 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/  

It's natural to want our kids' negative behaviors, moods, and behaviors to stop. But what happens when nothing we do seems to end the drama? How can we break out of the cycles of negativity?  In this episode, you'll learn: Why “quick fix” methods don't help our kids feel better (and often make things worse) Why Yuck Dumps are NOT the same as wallowing, and how these Dumps actually build resilience  Simple ways to help children release their negativity and frustration --- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/187 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/ Live "make your plan" sessions: https://rachel-bailey.com/training/

We know it's better to stay calm when our children have big feelings, but it seems like some days, we can only hold on for so long when they are complaining, crying, or melting down. How can we help our kids handle their discomfort when their behavior triggers our own Yuck? In this episode, you'll learn: Why we need to set realistic expectations for our children What it looks like when we're using willpower to stay calm (and why willpower never seems to last long enough) How to shift from artificial calm to genuine emotional regulation  --- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/186 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/ "Make Your Long Game Plan" live sessions: https://rachel-bailey.com/training/

Most of us have an idea of how we'd like to interact with our kids. But often when we're tired or frustrated, we don't react in a way that feels good. And when situations with our kids frequently spiral out of control, it's natural to feel like we are failing at parenting!  In this episode, you'll learn: Tips that will help any time you feel like a failure One mindset shift that can reduce guilt immediately How simple steps we take can positively impact our kids --- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/185 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We talk a lot about BIG reactions when our kids have big feelings, but what about quiet, sensitive children who struggle when other people around them are upset? Often these children will do anything they can in order to make others feel better. To keep the peace, they will also disregard their own needs – even when we encourage them to stand up for themselves!  In this episode, you'll learn: Why many parenting strategies don't work with our sensitive children (and may even make things worse) How to help our kids deal with discomfort -- without hurting their self-esteem How we can help "sensitive" children become confident, resilient kids who know how to advocate for themselves in difficult situations -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/184 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

When we're raising kids with big feelings, it can be hard to stay emotionally regulated all of the time. How can we be the parent we want to be when it's hard not to lose our cool? How can we teach our kids how to stay calm when we're struggling with staying calm ourselves? In this episode, you'll learn: Why we get stuck in a “cycle of Yuck” (and feel guilty and ashamed) How your ability to regulate yourself impacts your influence with your child  A simple tool you can use in the moment to get unstuck - even when your children are complaining or melting down  -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/183 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We want our days to be filled with peace and connection, but those of us raising kids with big emotions know that's not always the reality. Even when we try hard to fix the arguing, complaining, and general resistance to our requests, it can feel like nothing reduces the drama long-term -- and sometimes, it seems like our efforts are actually making things worse. In this episode, you'll learn: Why some of your current parenting strategies may not be working, despite your best efforts The real reasons behind seemingly-unbreakable cycles -- and what to do about it! The lifelong benefits (for us and our kids) of breaking negative cycles for good -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/182 Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

It can be overwhelming navigating the constantly-changing emotions and reactions of children who feel things strongly. One minute they're happy and the next, they are melting down about something that's not even a big deal! We want to reduce the drama and be a powerful positive influence with our kids, but how do we do that when we don't really understand what's driving their reactions? In this episode, you'll learn: What to check first when kids have unpredictable behavior How to “see” inside our children's brains, so we can approach them with compassion instead of judgment  The benefits of changing our perspective when kids have confusing reactions -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/181 Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Even when you try to make deposits with your children, sometimes you run into obstacles. You may feel particularly stuck if your child resists the attempts you are trying to make to connect with them! When that happens, using micro-deposits can help you get unstuck and shift things back to a more positive direction.  In this episode, you'll learn: How to address common obstacles to making deposits  Why children with big emotions pull away or push back when we're trying to spend time with them Easy-to-implement “micro” deposits -- simple actions that don't take much time but have a BIG impact on your relationship --  Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/180 Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Because our children struggle with challenging situations and feelings, we want to give them what they need to be resilient. But if we're being honest, sometimes it's easier in the moment to give them what they WANT instead of what they NEED to be able to handle the obstacles they will inevitably face in life.  In this episode, you'll learn: How to know whether we're meeting our kids' wants or needs -- and when we need to make a change! What our children actually need from us to become more resilient  The easiest way to meet our kids' emotional needs (with examples!) for stronger self-esteem and healthier relationships --  Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Today we are celebrating our 300th episode with a more personal episode as I respond to listener-submitted questions. If you've ever wanted to learn a little more than the parenting tips I share, you'll be able to do that now!  In this episode, you'll hear: What I was like as a child - including the worst thing I ever did!  How and why I started a business helping parents  Some quotes that inspire me, both as a parent and as a person -- Free video series for parents raising children with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/ Coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey  

When our children are having big emotions or behaviors, it's natural to want those big feelings and behaviors to stop so that there is more fighting, no more disrespectful attitudes, no more drama. Unfortunately, there's one problem: We can't control how our kids feel or how they behave. And when we try, we just make the situation worse (and we feel worse). Fortunately, there is an alternative that leads to a better outcome – AND doesn't require us to give in to them.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why our need to control others leaves us exhausted How to address big feelings without trying to change other people A simple shift that will reduce resentment and lead to more peace and influence with our children --  Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence Coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Why do some kids listen more to one parent than another? Why do some kids seem to calm down more quickly around one parent than another? Often the difference is that one parent is a powerful positive influence, while the other isn't. The good news is that any parent can learn to be a powerful positive influence. In this episode, you'll learn: What we need to give our kids if we want to be more influential  How becoming a Powerful Positive Influence can motivate better behavior and healthier self-esteem -- without yelling, punishing, or shaming Two necessary qualities that will help you become a Powerful Positive Influence with your children  --  Apply to join the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program: https://forms.gle/JTfYQfUXWeg5cpmR8 Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence Coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Many people confuse “respectful parenting” with permissive parenting, thinking that respectful parents give into the whims of their children to make them feel good. But caving to our kids' feelings and reactions is not respectful…to them or to us. Believe it or not, firm boundaries are a hallmark of respect-based parenting. And firm boundaries are what our children with big emotions really need. In this episode, you'll learn: What firm parenting boundaries look like Reasons why setting limits can be uncomfortable for us (and how to deal with the discomfort) How to respond to our children's big emotions respectfully -- Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/