Podcasts about candle lighting

Rev. Wendy Craig Purcell wishes you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone, welcome to our very special "Candle Lighting Service," featuring Jimmer Bolden, Natalie Decker and The Soul Notes Band. Website: http://www.theunitycenter.net Download Our New App: https://theunitycenter.churchcenter.com/setup Ask Yourself This: https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Yourself-This-Questions-Expand/dp/087159336X Subscribe to our YouTube channel: http://bit.ly/2hBqp7F Listen to our Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6YJWcAhQUnkEHFqBXQmz1G

Every year, the community of North Troy gathers in Freedom Square to light candles around the lit up evergreen tree, to share words of peace and justice as part of the Sanctuary's Interfaith Holiday Celebration. Jacob Boston was on the scene to record the community words in 2023.

One should not learn Torah or eat a meal from a half-hour before the time for Hanukah candle lighting, until he lights the candles. Our community's practice is to light the candles around 15-20 minutes after sundown, and so one should not begin learning or eating a meal from around 15 minutes before sundown, which in New York City this time of year is around 4:15pm. Although eating a meal is forbidden during this time, it is permissible to eat less a Ke'besa of bread, and certainly to eat fruit or "Mezonot" foods. Moreover, if the father will be returning from work later in the evening, the family may eat supper before he arrives, and they do not have to wait for him to light candles. This is the ruling of Hacham Ovadia Yosef. A person who did not light at the preferred time – which, as mentioned, is 15-20 minutes after sunset, according to our custom – may light even later, even until daybreak, and he may even recite the Berachot. The only condition, however, is that there are people who will see the candles and thus "Pirsumeh Nisa" (publicizing the miracle) will take place. Therefore, if one lights at a time when the candles will be visible, either to people outside or to people inside the home, then he may light and recite the Berachot. If, however, a person arrives home very late at night, and there is nobody to see the candles, he must wake up members of his household so they can be present for the lighting, as otherwise he cannot recite the Berachot. Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Israel, 1924-1998) rules that two people besides the person lighting and besides his wife must be present for "Pirsumeh Nisa" to be achieved. These two people may be minors, as long as they have reached the age of training in Misvot. Therefore, in the case of a father who returns home very late at night, after everybody is asleep, and he has not yet lit Hanukah candles, he would need to wake up at least two children so he can light with the Berachot. Otherwise, he lights the candles without reciting the Berachot. Hacham Bension adds that if a person lives alone, and he arrives home late at night, he lights the Hanukah candles without a Beracha. It should be noted that different opinions exist as to the proper procedure a family should follow if the father cannot be home at the time of the Hanukah candle lighting. Hacham Bension was of the opinion that lighting at the proper time takes precedence over all other considerations. Thus, for example, he maintained that if a person would have to miss the Arbit service in the synagogue by lighting Hanukah candles on time, he should do so. Additionally, he writes, if the father would be returning from work later than the proper time for lighting, a family member should light at the proper time on his behalf. What's more, according to Hacham Bension, if all the family members will be out of the house at the time for lighting, they should appoint somebody else as their Shaliah ("messenger") to light in their home on their behalf at the proper time. Hacham Bension felt very strongly about the importance of lighting at the proper time, which, in his view, overrides all other considerations. Others, however, disagree, and maintain that since nowadays we in any event light indoors, we do not need to be that strict with regard to the preferred time for lighting. According to this opinion, a family may light candles when the father arrives home in the evening, even if this occurs later than the preferred time. According to all opinions, however, one should make an effort to light at the proper time, as stated by the Rama (Rav Moshe Isserles of Cracow, 1530-1572), in his glosses to the Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 672:2). If a person, for whatever reason, missed the lighting one night, he does not make up the missed lighting by lighting the next day, or by adding candles on the next night. However, a missed night of lighting has no impact at all on his obligation on the subsequent nights of Hanukah, and he lights as usual on each of the subsequent nights, with the Berachot. (Hanukah candle lighting differs from Sefirat Ha'omer, in that a missed day of counting prevents one from reciting the Beracha when he counts on subsequent nights.) Hacham Bension Abba Shaul writes that if a person missed a night of lighting and feels a desire to make up what he missed in some way, he can add some oil to the candles on the next night. Once a half-hour has passed since the lighting of the candles, one may, if he so wishes, blow out the candles, or benefit from the light. Although the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909) ruled stringently in this regard, Hacham Ovadia followed the opinion of the Shulhan Aruch, that one may extinguish or benefit from the Hanukah candles after a half-hour. Additionally, after a half-hour one may derive personal benefit from the oil. If the candles were extinguished before a half-hour, one may not derive benefit from the oil, unless he had specifically stipulated before lighting the candles that he wishes to use the oil. Hacham Bension maintained that it is proper, as a measure of stringency, to have the candles burn for longer than a half-hour – specifically, until a half-hour after the time for lighting according to the view of Rabbenu Tam. The time for lighting according to Rabbenu Tam is around one hour later than the time we light the Hanukah candles, and thus following this stringency requires placing enough oil or using large enough wax candles to sustain the flame for an hour-and-a-half. Although this is not required according to the strict Halacha, nevertheless, given that oil and candles nowadays are not expensive, it would be worthwhile to observe this measure of stringency. Summary: One should not eat a meal with bread starting a half-hour before the time for lighting. However, if the family is waiting for the father to return home and light, they may eat supper in the meantime. Our custom is to light the Hanukah candles 15-20 minutes after sunset, and one should try to light at this time. One who did not light at this time may light anytime later, throughout the night, but if there aren't at least two people besides him and his wife who will see the candles, the Berachot are not recited. According to one opinion, if a person will not be home at the preferred time for lighting, another family member should light instead of him, or, if necessary, he should appoint somebody else to light in his home in his stead. Others disagree. After the candles have burned for a half-hour, one may extinguish the candles and make personal use of the oil, or make use of the light. It is preferable, though, as a measure of stringency, to have the candles lit for an hour-and-a-half.

The obligation of Hadlakat Nerot, the Ereb Shabbat candle lighting, requires lighting at least one candle, but it is customary for women to light two candles. The most common reason given for this practice is that the two candles correspond to the two commands of "Zachor" and "Shamor" ("remembering" and "observing" the Shabbat). Additionally, the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909) explained that this practice alludes to the theme of Shalom Bayit (peaceful relations between husband and wife) which underlies the Misva of Hadlakat Nerot. The Sages comment that candle lighting is required with the onset of Shabbat because the presence of light helps ensure Shalom Bayit, as darkness often leads to tension and arguments. Lights must be kindled in the home before Shabbat begins so that an aura of peace and tranquility will pervade the home. This concept, the Ben Ish Hai notes, is alluded to in the two candles that the woman lights. The Hebrew word "Ner" ("candle") has the numerical value of 250, and thus two candles have a combined numerical value of 500. There are 248 "Ebarim" (limbs and organs) in a man's body, and 252 in a woman's body, which together combine to form a total of 500. Thus, the lighting of two candles alludes to the "togetherness" of the husband and wife, which is represented by the number 500, and which constitutes the fundamental reason behind the Misva of the Shabbat candles. The time of lighting the Shabbat candles is an "Et Rason," a moment when a woman's prayers are more readily accepted by God. It is therefore proper for a woman when lighting the Shabbat candles to offer a prayer for Shalom Bayit, for her husband's success in earning a living, and for the well-being of her children, particularly that they should grow to become Torah scholars. The custom among the Sepharadim is that only the mother lights the Shabbat candles; single daughters do not light according to our custom. If the mother is away for Shabbat, such as if she had a baby and must spend Shabbat in the hospital, then the husband should light the Shabbat candles in her stead. He recites the usual Beracha of "Le'hadlik Ner Shel Shabbat." If both parents are away for Shabbat and their children remain home, and among the children is a daughter above the age of Bat Misva, then she should light the Shabbat candles in the home with a Beracha. Hacham Ovadia Yosef rules that a daughter above the age of Bat Misva takes precedence over a son over the age of Bar Misva, even if the boy is older than the girl. If there is no girl over the age of Bat Misva, then a boy who is over the age of Bar Misva should light the candles, with a Beracha. Of course, the parents must light Shabbat candles in the place where they spend Shabbat. But if they have children staying at home for Shabbat, then either a son or a daughter must light the Shabbat candles, as discussed. Summary: It is customary for women to light two candles before the onset of Shabbat, and the time of Shabbat candle lighting is a time especially suited for praying for the well-being of oneself, one's husband and one's children. If the mother is away for Shabbat, then the husband lights the Shabbat candles. If both parents are away for Shabbat but the children remain home, then the candles should be lit by a girl above the age of Bat Misva. If there is no girl this age, then a boy above the age of Bar Misva should light the candles.

Halacha requires lighting candles each week before the onset of Shabbat, and before the onset of Yom Tob. Before lighting the Shabbat candles one recites the Beracha, "Le'hadlik Ner Shel Shabbat," and before the lighting for Yom Tob one recites, "Le'hadlik Ner Shel Yom Tob." This is codified by the Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 263).In this context, the Shulhan Aruch observes that some people have the custom to also light candles for Yom Kippur, though they do not recite a Beracha on this lighting.In truth, the issue of candle lighting for Yom Kippur is subject to a debate among the Rishonim. The Rosh (Rabbenu Asher Ben Yehiel, Germany-Spain, 1250-1327) maintained that candles should be lit in the home on Yom Kippur as a safeguard against marital relations, which are forbidden on Yom Kippur. Since marital relations should take place only in the dark, having lights in the home on Yom Kippur helps ensure that husbands and wives will not violate this prohibition. The Mordechi (Rav Mordechai Ben Hillel, 1250-1298), however, maintained that to the contrary, if lights are lit in the home, a husband may look at his wife and desire relations, and so it is preferable not to have lights in the home on Yom Kippur. In contradistinction to his aforementioned comments, the Shulhan Aruch later, in discussing the laws of Yom Kippur (610), mentions only the view of the Rosh, that candles should be lit for Yom Kippur, adding that according to this view, a Beracha is recited at the time of lighting ("Le'hadlik Ner Shel Yom Ha'kippurim"). It thus appears that he accepted the Rosh's ruling, and maintained that one should light candles for Yom Kippur and should even recite a Beracha over the lighting. The Rama (Rav Moshe Isserles of Cracow, 1525-1572) writes that this was the custom among Ashkenazic communities, and this is also the position taken by many Ashkenazic authorities (Rav Sheneur Zalman of Liadi, Peri Megadim, Mateh Efrayim and Hayeh Adam). Numerous Sephardic authorities accept this view, as well, including the Ben Ish Hai and Kaf Ha'haim.Others, however, disagree, and maintain that in light of the different views that exist among the Rishonim, we must apply the principle of "Safek Berachot Le'hakel" – we do not recite a Beracha when there is some uncertainty as to whether it is warranted. Therefore, in their view, a Beracha should not be recited over the Yom Kippur candle lighting. This is the view of Rav Haim Palachi (in Ruah Haim), the Peri Hadash, the Erech Ha'shulhan, and others.As for the final Halacha, Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that in communities with an established custom, we do not apply the principle of "Safek Berachot Le'hakel." Therefore, communities that have a custom to recite a Beracha over the Yom Kippur candle lighting should follow this custom. This is also the ruling of Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Israel, 1923-1998).The accepted custom in Halab (Aleppo, Syria) was to either not light candles for Yom Kippur, or to light candles without a Beracha. This is documented in the book Derech Eretz, and in the Kol Yaakob weekday Siddur, too, it says that the custom among the Jews of Halab was not to recite a Beracha over the Yom Kippur candle lighting. The exception to this rule, however, is when Yom Kippur falls on Shabbat, in which case candles must be lit before the onset of Yom Kippur because of Shabbat. The custom in Aleppo was to recite at the time of candle lighting in this case the Beracha, "Le'hadlik Ner Shel Shabbat Ve'Yom Ha'kippurim." Hacham Eliyahu Hamoui ruled that even in this case no Beracha should be recited, but the consensus view is that according to the custom of Halab, a Beracha is recited over the Yom Kippur candle lighting when Yom Kippur falls on Shabbat.It should be noted that women who attend the synagogue service on the night of Yom Kippur recite the Beracha of "She'he'hiyanu" together with the congregation in the synagogue. If a woman does not attend the service in the synagogue, she must still recite the Beracha, as this Beracha is recited over the occasion of Yom Kippur, not as part of the Kal Nidreh service.Summary: It is customary in most communities to light candles before the onset of Yom Kippur and to recite a Beracha over the candle lighting, but the custom in Halab (Aleppo) was not to recite a Beracha over this candle lighting, except when Yom Kippur falls on Shabbat.

Regarding lighting of the candles on Rosh Hashana night. Let's begin with our scenario this year, where the Holiday is on Friday night which coincides with Shabbat. So therefore, the ladies would light candles like they light very Friday night eighteen minutes before sunset, and they would make a Beracha, ‘Lihadlik Ner Shel Shabbat Viyom Tov.' They would add Yom Tov because of the Holiday. That would be, 18 minutes before sunset.Regarding, Saturday night, which is the second night of Yom Tov, ladies are also required to light candles. The question is, when do they light candles on the second night of Yom Tov? Halacha says, it's most proper to light them when the men come home from Shul, right before you sit down to have the meal. At that time, the ladies should go to the candles and light them. They make the Beracha on the second night, ‘Lihadlik Ner Shel Yom Tov', as it's obviously no longer Shabbat.One has to keep in mind, that on Saturday night, you can only light candles from an existing flame. So therefore, one has to prepare an existing flame, a candle that is there which was prepared in order to take the flames. But there is a problem, that many people are not aware of. After the lady lights the candles from the existing flame, sometimes just without thinking she blows it out. Or she shakes it out. According to the Halacha, it's definitely forbidden to extinguish candles on Yom Tov. While it's permissible to light from an existing flame, but to extinguish is for sure forbidden. So you have to tell them, to very carefully just place it down and to let it go out by itself. But not to shake it, and certainly not to blow it out on the holiday.There is no Shehechiynau made at the time of Hadlakat Nerot. The ladies rely on the Shehechiynau that is made on the Kiddush.Now once already we are on the subject of Nerot, we have a custom that‘s brought down in Halacha, that since this Friday night is also Yom Tov, so we shouldn't say ‘Bame Madlikin'. We shouldn't say Bame Madlikin even though normally every Friday night we say ‘Bame Madlikin', which discusses how to light candles, and what oils are kosher, and what wicks are kosher, and which ones are not kosher. It's our custom to read it every Friday night. However, we skip it when a holiday comes out on a Friday night. Different reasons were given. One reason is because, not all the laws are the same on Shabbat as Yom Tov regarding kosher wicks and oils. So therefore, since the laws vary from Shabbat to Yom Tov, so we skip it. Other reasons are also brought down in the Mishna Berura in Seman 270.Lastly, going back. regarding making the Beracha on the Nerot Shabbat. There is a Machloket (argument) as to which comes first. The lighting or the blessing? Some make the Beracha first, which would make logical sense. The logic being always to make the Beracha and then perform the Mitzvah. Others light first and then they make the Beracha. The logic there is because they hold that making the Beracha brings on acceptance of Shabbat, and how could you light the candles if it's Shabbat already? But that logic would apply for Shabbat, but on Yom Tov everybody would agree, you should make the Beracha first and then light. It's because you are allowed to light on Yom Tov. So therefore, the Beracha is not an acceptance of anything. And therefore, it's proper to make the Beracha ‘Lihadlik Shel Yom Tov' first, and then to light. This applies even to those who light first the rest of the year. That's for Shabbat. However, for Yom Tov, it's proper to make the Beracha first and then light.

Ready for a magical journey unlike any other? Promise us your curiosity and we guarantee to ignite your fascination with the enchanting world of candle magic.  Jake, a candle magic enthusiast, will share with us his invaluable knowledge about the unique properties of beeswax. He'll enlighten us with his experiences and his personal practices and even teach us how to craft our own candles using herbs and oils. We also dive into chime candles and jar spells, discussing how these tools can channel energy, manifest intentions, and contribute to the creation of a spiritual family tree.But that's not all! We're excited to present to you Melissa's upcoming class, Reiki Rocks Crystal Shoppe for Candle Magic. We'll shed light on the magical properties of candles and their usage in ritualistic and spiritual practices. We will also reveal the ingredients behind these candles and how you can harness their power in chime and jar candles. Plus, we'll give you an exclusive preview of Melissa's class and guide you through the signing-up process. Brace yourself for an enlightening experience that promises to open new doors and broaden your spiritual journey. Tune in and let the magic begin! Support the showWe hope you found the episode to be enlightening and insightful. Our goal is to create content that not only entertains but also helps you grow spiritually and connect with your inner self. If you enjoyed listening to this episode, we would greatly appreciate it if you could take a moment to like, subscribe, and write a review. Your feedback is incredibly valuable to us and helps us to improve the quality of our content and reach a wider audience. We believe that by sharing knowledge and insights about spirituality, we can help to inspire positive change and personal growth. So, if you find our podcast to be meaningful and informative, we encourage you to share it with your friends and family. Thank you once again for your support and for joining us on this journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth. We look forward to sharing more episodes with you in the future. You TubeFacebookFacebook Group Find Your Baddass Life Purpose

In those significant life changing moments, like becoming a parent or losing a parent, it's easy to feel lost, ungrounded. We might think to ourselves, “Yeah, ceremony could maybe be a useful thing right now, but where do I start?” Well, there's an app for that and it's beautiful!   Music by Terry Hughes   Notes: Be Ceremonial App (App Store) Be Ceremonial App (Google Play) Be Ceremonial Daily Magic for Peace   Rate This Podcast Also Check Out: I Want to Have a Ceremony with You The Programming Language of the Soul Full Transcript Sheldon: Here's a wedding ceremony and you follow it step by step and here's a funeral ceremony… and I wanted to blow that out of the water. And so it's like a choose your own adventure experience where… here's a bunch of things to inspire you. Pick and choose the ones that you like and then change them if you want.  In those significant life-changing moments, like becoming a parent or losing a parent, it's very easy to feel lost and ungrounded. We might think to ourselves, “Ceremony could maybe be a useful thing right now, but where do I start?” As the saying goes, there's an app for that and it's beautiful.  This is Shame Piñata. I'm Colleen Thomas. Welcome to Shame Piñata, where we talk about creating rites of passage for real-life transitions. Today I'm excited to invite you to join me on a behind-the-scenes look into Be Ceremonial, the world's first ceremony creation platform. It's an app you can download from the App or the Google Play Store and it lets you build simple, customizable ceremonies for any purpose.  Just to give you a sense of how it works, I'm going to open the app on my phone right now and tell you what I see. So on the homescreen is a list of latest offerings including new ceremonies and free virtual workshops. If I click on the “Create” button, I can open a free sample ceremony and customize that or I can choose from a list of ceremonies with a defined topic, including trying to conceive, mother blessing, miscarriage, abortion, wedding, divorce, terminal diagnosis, or sitting vigil - and that's only a partial list.  Okay, so here's how building a ceremony works. If I click into the free sample ceremony, I'm asked to choose if this ceremony will be for me or for someone else (I think it's cool that you can actually gift a ceremony to a friend). Then I'm asked to choose if it will be me doing it alone, with other people, or virtually. And then I can begin building my ceremony which is structured in 5 parts: opening, past, present, future, and closing. For the opening, the app gives me three choices: Opening Space, Candle Lighting, and Three Breaths. I can click into any of these to see what they're about, what materials and preparation I'd need to do them, and a list of steps to follow. And I can look through all of the offerings until I've found the flow that works best for me. For example, I might choose to take 3 breaths to open my ceremony, release the past with a fire release ritual, take a ritual walk to honor the present, and then ceremonially cross a threshold to step into my new future, and finally close with a water ceremony. Once I've chosen all of the components, they will be available as a step-by-step list that I can have with me as I prepare and actually hold the ceremony. It's actually very cool and user friendly. And it takes some of the guesswork (and groundwork, really) out of building a ceremony so that I can really focus on what is moving in me and choose ritual components that match that flow.  Now that we've taken a deep dive into the app itself, let's come back out to the bigger picture so I can bring you into a conversation I had last spring with Megan Sheldon, the co-founder and CEO of Be Ceremonial. Here's a listen. Thomas: I'm curious, how did you find your way to ceremony in life? Sheldon: I've always been a community seeker, a connector, a convener. I was recently at a retreat that I was hosting around ritual and a girlfriend of mine from high school was telling me about these, you know, we didn't… we didn't call it ceremonies then. But she's like, “You would host these gatherings and you were so intentional in the questions you would ask and the way you would bring people together.” She was the first of any of my friends to have a baby. And she remembers, I had forgotten about this, but she remembered I gathered all of her girlfriends around in the room and I'd found this little owl shaker and I passed it around and asked everybody to infuse it with, well, you know, wishes and blessings for her. And that was, you know, 12 or 13 years ago. So I'm constantly reminded that this path hasn't been an A to B kind of path, it's been an unfolding.  When I was 20 years old, my mom went through breast cancer. And my mom and I are very close. And I was living in Montreal and she was here in Vancouver. And I remember getting the phone call from her and just like every instinct in me wanted to just get on a plane and come home and be with her. But she didn't want that. She… I was in the middle of exams and she really needed me to stay where I was, so she could focus on herself. But what she ended up doing, I now see as ritual, is she would find these books, and she was introduced to Yungian kind of theory and Marion Woodman and Women who Run with the Wolves and all of these books that, you know, she was just discovering, and she would buy two copies, and she would send me one in Montreal, and I remember I'd get these books and I would be reading them at the same time she was reading them on the other coast of Canada. And opening up this kind of world of the Divine Feminine and what it means to connect with your Ancestors and your roots and your heritage. And I'm… a white settler stolen lands here in Canada and I have really struggled with my place in this… in this part of the world. And where do I fit? Where do I belong? I think that need for belonging has been a huge theme in my life. And these books kind of taught me how to connect with that part of myself. And with my mom and with her mom and with her mother's mother and this beautiful lineage of women and men. So it's a tricky question and one that continues to evolve. But if I am being completely honest with myself, I have always been ceremonial, I just was never given the language or the permission to kind of see myself that way. So I've had to really come into it on my own and reclaim that space in a way that feels like me. Megan echoed one of my own ideas about ritual, that of it be self-organizing. That we know how do ritual together, it is one of our inherent gifts. We might have just forgotten. Sheldon: It's so interesting because people always say to me, “Oh, I could never do what you do. I could never do this!” And I think, “Do what? This was just like… I'm actually not doing…” I always say to people, “I'm actually not doing this, I'm setting the container, you know, I'm offering the invite...” I've studied a lot under the Art of Hosting - I don't know if you know it - it's like a global-wide kind of way of gathering people and their philosophy is like, the invitation is everything. If you can send out an invite and let people know what to expect and what to prepare and how to feel empowered in the space so that they're not having to look for the leader like, “Who's in charge?” Like, that's… that's one of the worst ways to convene is to have that hierarchy. So the idea of the Circle Way of having everybody step in and be responsible for co-creating the ceremony, the ritual environment has always guided me. And I'm a firm believer, and I say that every time I can be in a ceremony or a retreat, or rituals with friends, I, you know, I focus on the invitation, and I say, we were all stepped into this and we are now going to co-create this space together. And if you need to be quiet, if you need to walk away, if you need to scream, if you need to do anything that is okay. Like this is you're making your own experience. And I think that's just a way of thinking that we haven't really been taught in our capitalistic patriarchal culture of, you know, the top-down, right? This feels rebellious for a lot of people so yeah… Thomas: And it's kind of the same principle with the app, right? Because you've created this technology that people can... there's tools, there's framework, there's structure, there's examples, there's ideas, all this kind of thing…. But you're not there helping somebody in person, helping somebody create a ceremony and they can create a ceremony… Like, I created two today that are really important to me but I'm not ready to do them yet but I have the framework set for when I'm ready to step into them. And so you won't be with me when I do them. I mean, unless I could call you later and talk to me because I know you… Sheldon: Please! Thomas: …but like, you won't really be there with me. But yeah… you've created the… you've given the invitation and you've created the container. Sheldon: Yeah, and it took me a long time to see how ritual and ceremony, which for me is so sacred and so precious and so important in my life and in the lives of those that I serve and that I work with to see it as, you know, bridging with technology. So backtrack a little bit, my husband and I decided to get married eight or nine years ago now and we looked at the wedding kind of template that was in front of us and we've been to so many weddings before, and they were so lovely and so wonderful. And they weren't us. I never was like… oh… this felt exactly like me because it was exactly like my friend or my family member. So I really wanted to learn how to intentionally craft a wedding that represented our values. So that was our first ceremony to co-create together and I think we did a really wonderful job. And shortly after our wedding, we tried to get pregnant and we did. And, you know, seven weeks later, we miscarried. And then we got pregnant again and miscarried. And a third time, miscarried. And each time it was like this invisible loss that nobody knew. It was just, I mean… this was seven years ago. So it was just starting to kind of get a little bit more traction in terms of the media and people talking about it a little bit more, but nobody was talking about a ceremony where I could honor and say goodbye. I was never even offered any of the remains from the hospitals after my DNC procedures. It just… I know now I could have asked for it and they would have had to have given it to me. I didn't know that then. I didn't know my… what I was allowed to do. Everything felt so kind of, you know, the health care system owned everything, right? You don't ever think of it as being something there that you can challenge or that you can confront.  Thomas: Yeah. Sheldon: So I started to create my own rituals around my loss. And my husband, Johan and I, we created our own rituals and ceremonies to acknowledge not only the loss of life, but also the loss of the stories we'd started to tell ourselves. I had a lot of growing anxiety. What was happening? Why was my body doing this? Will I ever get pregnant? You know, it was in my mid to late 30s at that point, so that… you know, there was this time pressure that was both external and internal. Yeah, I think that time for me it was really about learning how these things that I naturally wanted and needed did in my life were rituals. It was ceremony. It was, you know… I wanted to sit with my girlfriends and not only share my story, but hear their story. I wanted to, you know, every year on a due date or on a loss date, I wanted to have something that I could do that would connect me so that I wouldn't forget that I wouldn't grow… grow further away from it.  Thomas: At the same time that Megan and Johan were dealing with pregnancy loss, they were also losing Johan's father to ALS.    Sheldon: There were so many invisible moments along that journey that we did not know how to recognize. You know, a diagnosis when you first… when he first received it, but when he first told us like, what do you do in those moments? How do you bring ritual and bring ceremony to that moment when the floor comes crashing out from underneath you? And then over the next, you know, six months and year and two years as he started to lose his capacities and we started to lose that kind of feeling of hope for the future and…  There were so many of those moments that I did not know, at the time I could have brought ritual into, I could have been kind of slowly building out that kind of legacy. So we went through that experience. And then when the pandemic hit and my husband was, you know, found himself at home, and I really wanted to imagine something new. He's a problem solver. He's like, “I just want to build something that will help people.” That's just has been his driver. It has been a really interesting experience to bridge ceremony with technology and one that I continue to learn about. But I'll get emails from people on a weekly basis about how, you know, they were gifted something through this experience, or they discovered something. They were able to honor, you know, a death anniversary in a way that they never thought was possible. And I know for 100% of… I know without a doubt that I would never have crossed paths with that person had it not been through technology. You know, they'll be in Australia, or Belgium, or St. Louis and they'll be reaching out because this app touched them in a certain way, it impacted their experience. So yeah. Thomas: Wow, you're inspiring me now. I'm thinking I have a lot of my good friends, I have their death anniversaries on my calendar so I remember to reach out to them. I would love to share your app with them.  [MUSIC Thomas: So as people check out the app and they get started with it, do you have any guidance for them on how to start the process? Sheldon: Yeah. So the app is Be Ceremonial and you are invited in and there's two pillars that make up the app environment. And one is the ability to create your own ceremony, like a DIY approach. And we started with the birth and death aspects, the two areas of life, because they're the two thresholds. They're usually the places where people are seeking ceremony the most. They… you know, they have a miscarriage or they find out they're pregnant, or they, you know, they want to honor, you know, the end of their breastfeeding journey. There's something that happened in that kind of beginning of life stage or the end of life. You know, they lost a parent, or a death anniversary's coming up, or they have been hanging on to these ashes from a cremation and they don't know what to do with them. So we really started to populate the app with these ceremonies that you could create for yourself around birth and death. And we are now in the midst of bridging out the life cycle. So, I am a Life Cycle Celebrant. I work with people on ceremonies around mastectomies and hysterectomies. Ceremonies around moving into a new home or leaving a childhood home. I've worked with people who have been fired and lost a job and they wanted to create a ceremony to kind of honor what that job brought them and also kind of burn in the fire the things that they wanted to never do again. There are so many points along the lifecycle, both visible and invisible, that deserve to be ritualized. They deserve to have that kind of ceremonial intention built into it. So that's, that's the pillar one that's like one side of the app experience is to be able to create your ceremonies and some people might come in and know exactly what they want and they just want to create a ceremony around a death anniversary, and they can just, you know, pay per use so it's a single-time purchase that they want.  And then other people are really seeking something more. They're really wanting to understand their own relationship with ritual and ceremony. Or they're a care provider. We've got a lot of death doulas and birth doulas and hospice volunteers, midwives, naturopath counselors using our app and they create ceremonies for their clients and their patients. So they're using this as a tool that they can kind of bring to the people that they work with. I've also got a lot of celebrants using this, so there's a wedding ceremony in there and if you are, celebrate, and you've got a new client, and you want to kind of give them some ideas as to what's possible in terms of ritual, you can create a wedding ceremony that you then send to them and they can pick and choose rituals they like. You can then add new ones, you can create your own, you can draw… You know, it's the biggest thing to remind yourself there is that it's you know, you don't need to follow this word for word. It's just a guide to inspire you. I think of it like a blueprint.  The other side… the other pillar of the app which we're really starting to build out this year is the learning environment. So I've hosted tons of online workshops and courses I ran last year, had about 120 students come through a six week training that we offered around end-of-life rituals. And I want to take all of those little mini workshops and build them into the app environment. So for the people that are the members, the subscribers (you can have a monthly or yearly subscription), I want there to be a place where they can go and think, “Oh, gosh, if a client just reached out, reached out or a friend reached out, and you know, they have a child who died.” And they really want to acknowledge the you know, the grief that the family and the friends might be holding. And I want to be able to create a ceremony workshop that explores kids' relationship with grief, and how to explore that.” You know, on the other side of it, maybe there's something around, you know, I've hosted a lot of divorce ceremonies, which has been really interesting for people. And everybody's always like, “Oh, I want to know more, I want to know what what else I can learn about this and how else this can be done and where the, you know, what other cultures are doing” So being able to look at the… the learning environment as a place to have that, that ability to go deeper if and when you choose. I think is really exciting for me, and for a lot of the people that have reached out because I think that there's, you know, the people that come in, and they just want something quick and they want something now and they know, you know, they don't need a whole lot of hand holding. And then there's the people that really want to build a community here and they want to share back their story after they created a ceremony so that it might inspire someone else. And that's my big hope with where Be Ceremonial can grow is that it will become, you know, “This is us. This is our invitation. We've been a catalyst, we've created this framework. Now let's let the community populate it. Let's let people step up and make this their own space. Let's allow this to be a place that connects us and inspires us when we hear stories from people around the world and how they took the same five rituals that I took and yet their ceremony turned out so differently. That's so interesting. I want to hear about that…” And that's the storyteller in me is just wanting to create a space where those stories can be celebrated and witnessed. Thomas: That's wonderful. Well, I feel like what you've created with this, the two of you, it's just such a gift. So on behalf of, I don't know, everybody everywhere, I just want to thank you so much. And I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to join me in this exploration of Megan and Johan's work at Be Ceremonial. I hope that a piece of Megan's story, either a moment of creating ritual to honor a life transition or her overall entrepreneurial spirit has inspired you as it has inspired me. Megan will be back soon to speak more about slow technology and how she is using ritual to transition from pandemic to endemic.  Megan Sheldon is a Cultural Mythologist, End of Life Storyteller, and a Celebrant. She is also the co-founder of Be Ceremonial, the world's first ceremony creation platform, giving you the ritual tools you need to create your own ceremony. You can sign up for a free account at www.beceremonial.com or download the App in the App Store. Our music is by Terry Hughes. Find us on IG and Twitter at shamepinata, reach us through our website, shamepinata.com. And subscribe to the show on your favorite player. Also be sure to check out our second show, Daily Magic for Peace, supporting you as you support Ukraine. I'm Colleen Thomas. Thanks for listening.  

On today's show we host Bianca aka The Obsidian Corona (who came after the beer but before the virus- her words) who brilliantly shows us the crossover between faith and the realm of tarot and psychics. ⠀ ⠀ Bianca discusses the spiritual skills shes developed, what tools are innate to her, and how she uses her abilities in a groundbreaking business model. ⠀ ⠀ Her candor, comedic timing, and her faithfulness to her mystic leanings are inspiring.    Find her online on instagram  @theobsidiancorona Or https://www.theobsidiancorona.com/

The primary obligation of Shabbat candle lighting rests upon the "Akeret Ha'bayit," the woman who runs the household. Under normal circumstances, this would be the wife/mother, and her lighting fulfills the obligation for all members of the household. Therefore, the prevalent practice is that the unmarried daughters living in the home do not light Shabbat candles, and instead rely on the mother's lighting. An unmarried girl who insists on lighting should certainly not recite a Beracha. But in any event, it is proper for them to follow the common custom and rely on their mother's lighting, rather than light themselves.Unmarried yeshiva students living in a dormitory or apartment away from home are required to light Shabbat candles, with the Beracha. One student should light the Shabbat candles, through which all the others living in the apartment or dormitory fulfill their obligation. If they wish, they can establish a rotation system whereby each Shabbat somebody else has a turn to light Shabbat candles on behalf of everyone in the apartment or dormitory.

Revoking and annulling vows on Shabbat - the latter, specifically for things needed that same Shabbat. Plus, revoking vows at night - but why does this need to be stated? What happens when the vow is made on Shabbat? Wrapping up these issues, or almost. Also, can judges nullify a vow while standing? Rabban Gamliel dismounted his donkey to adjudicate a case... Does that answer the case? Plus, the sin in vowing, and the source for it.

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OTP: Treat Yourself, Again This podcast has been graciously sponsored by JewishPodcasts.fm. There is much overhead to maintain this service so please help us continue our goal of helping Jewish lecturers become podcasters and support us with a donation: https://thechesedfund.com/jewishpodcasts/donate

12/18/22

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